upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
Men's Health

Men share the best 'unmanly' things they do that make them feel good

Men are beautifully complex.

gender roles
Photo by We-Vibe Toys on Unsplash

There is nothing unmanly about taking a bubble bath.

As society rethinks and reshapes the use of gender roles, both sexes (and everywhere in-between) are finding more opportunities to explore previously repressed aspects of themselves. It often feels like the Wild West of gender identity—an exciting new time to break through tired paradigms in search for something that is a better fit. We can see this on both a macro and micro scale, from something as widespread as more countries legalizing same sex marriage to something as simple as a man rocking a pencil skirt and heels. Each are radical in their own way.

A Reddit user asked men to name some “unmanly” things they did that they weren’t ashamed of. Their answers, though fun to read, also have an interesting through line, one of embracing sensitivity. Or, rather, their femininity. From self-care, to arts and crafts, to crying during Disney movies, each of these activities challenges the long accepted—and often problematic—belief of what makes a man a "man."

Psychology Today contributor Tyger Latham, Psy.D. writes that “Most of us immediately identify with the adage that to be a man often means: being tough, staying in control, never crying, working through physical pain, providing for your family, and never backing down from a fight. While such roles provide men with an operational model in which to exist, they can also be extremely restrictive.” He even described a condition known as alexithymia, quite literally meaning “without words for emotions,” that many male clients encounter while trying to express what’s happening on the inside.

But what if the pursuit of happiness includes the pursuit of wholeness? Some would argue that the latter is more important altogether. Men—and women, for that matter—should be able to go fishing, knit while they wait on the pond, come home and throw on an exfoliating face mask while watching a rom-com. So yes, while these answers do serve as a lighthearted digital romp through the internet, they are also symbols of small, yet significant victories.

Without further ado, here are 18 “unmanly” things that are good for the soul, no matter the gender:

1. Sewing

“I think it is helpful for spatial reasoning, attention to detail, and creativity. It is basically construction out of a very thin, flexible material that requires the builder to create the object inside-out."

2. Bubble baths

“I don't take baths much but if I do you best believe there's gonna be bubbles galore in that bath.”

“Bath bombs rule, my favorite one turns the water black and sparkly and smells like peppermint.”

3. Cute voices for animals

“In high school there was a video shown in class, and when puppies came on screen I yelled 'PUPPIES!' in a ridiculous falsetto. I still have that reaction regularly when I see puppies.”

“I do this with puppies...kittens...cats...any cute animal…”

4. Prioritizing fashion … to the point of indecision

“There are literally a few minutes where I am stressed out wondering 'I wore that a few days ago; this is too similar to what I wore yesterday' and so on. This is mostly when getting ready for work, which is business casual. I have a dozen or so button-down shirts, but I still can't make up my damn mind.”

5. A love of all things hygge

“I love fuzzy socks, fuzzy blankets, fuzzy anything.”

“I love blankets. My birthday, Christmas, valentines day; just give me more blankets. Let me make a cave of blankets and hibernate straight through until spring.”

hyygesocks GIFGiphy

6. A fondness for stuffed animals

“I sleep with two stuffed animals. It would be three, but Pete the polar bear is now with my girlfriend in the Netherlands.”

“I still sleep with a teddy bear I got when I was 4. I'm 30 now. I hope to give it to my daughter when she is born/old enough.”

7. Checking out other guys

"I can tell when a guy is attractive, I have no sexual desire for dudes but I can tell if I find one good looking, i'd even go as far to say I have a type."

8. Enjoying domestic chores

"I love looking doing things for my wife...coffee and breakfast in bed everyday, I wash up, I pack her a lunch to take to work everyday, spoil her with little surprises a few times a month etc. Turns out my friends and my father all think I am whipped. They think she has me under her thumb. I guess they don't know that we split house chores in a number of ways but I chose to do extra things as I have some extra time since I don't have to commute - it feels fair to me.They also don't understand that when I lost my job my wife encouraged me to do my own thing and that she supported both of us for a long time to allow me to follow my dream. In short, my mates and father just don't understand or want to be with a woman who is a partner and equal in the relationship.”

9. Being the little spoon

"I'm nearly a foot taller than my girlfriend, but if we're cuddling in bed I like to be the little spoon, it's hilarious and comfy."

"I once was sitting on the floor and my girlfriend at the time was sitting on the couch giving me a back rub. She eventually wrapped her arms around me from behind and asked how it felt. 'Like this room is the only thing in the entire world.'"

“Sleeping as the little spoon is really nice because it makes you feel needed on a physical level which is really comforting."

10. Crying

“Personally, I think that it takes a lot more bravery to open yourself up to something special, such as love for a pet, than to keep everything around you at arms length to numb your own sensitivity (or vulnerability if you will) to anything. You display a willingness to express yourself, knowing full well that it could get you hurt, and then bear any resulting pain, ultimately overcoming it. What the hell could be more manly?”

“I will cry at any movie where a dog dies. Every, Single. Time. A Dog’s Purpose was a very unpleasant movie for me.”
men showing emotionsCry GIF by MasterChefAUGiphy

11. Gardening

“It’s great being able to grow things from just seeds."

12. Therapy

“Everyone needs a little bit of therapy. Even if you’re perfectly fine, everyone needs someone to talk to.”

13. Sharing feelings with the kids

"Hugging my kids, apologizing to them when I’m wrong ('sorry I accused you of making a mess outside, I just learned it was the neighbors’ kid'), and showing them it’s okay to have and express feelings. Yes, daddy can get teary eyed too when watching a sad movie. Also as an extension of apologizing for having done wrong, being able to back down. When in an argument and find out you’re wrong, it’s not weak to say 'I didn’t know that. Sorry, I was wrong.'”

14. Complimenting guy friends

"A lot of people feel it's not manly to do so but I think it's important and it feels great having a group of guys that doesn’t just bash each other all the time."

15. Interior decorating

“I spend a ridiculous amount of time looking up furniture/wall art/etc. just fantasizing about how I'm going to decorate it when I finally get my own place.”

16. Baking

“I just donned a pink apron with strawberries on it to help my girlfriend make a pie. Her family razzed me about it... but hey, no pie for them.”

“I bake and listen to Adele. Sometimes at the same time.”

17. Afternoon tea

“I don't care who you are. You haven't lived until you've eaten tiny cucumber sandwiches and scones off a three-story silver party platter.”

18. Self-care

self care for menChristian Bale Face Mask GIF by PeacockTVGiphy

“Manicures and pedicures, obviously no nail polish, but my hands and feet are usually a horrendous pile of dead skin and callouses from working out and my job. It makes me feel a little better about people seeing them, they don’t get all of them, but it definitely makes them look closer to normal.”

“I love doing a facial cleanse, tone and moisturize, makes your face feel awesome."

“I go full-on Bateman. Have multiple face masks, skin creams and hair products. Started as a way to bond with my sisters, ended up being something that centers me in the mornings and a comforting ritual a couple of times a night.”


This article originally appeared on 3.2.22

From Your Site Articles
gender roles
Men's HealthHealth
Innovation

Ontario teen says he'll live in 'modular home' invention for a year to prove it can end homelessness

He's already invented a wooden car.

ideas, homelessness, prodigy, social work, solutions
Photo credit: @ribalzebian on Instagram

Ribal Zebian is going to test a house he designed by living in it for a year.

Ribal Zebian, a student from the city of London in Ontario, Canada, already made headlines last year when he built an electric car out of wood and earned a $120,000 scholarship from it. Now, he's in the news again for something a little different. Concerned with homelessness in his hometown, Zebian got to work creating a different kind of affordable housing made from fiberglass material. In fact, he’s so confident in his idea that the 18-year-old plans on living in it for a year to test it out himself.

Currently an engineering student at Western University, Zebian was concerned by both the rising population of the unhoused in his community and the rising cost of housing overall. With that in mind, he conjured up a blueprint for a modular home that would help address both problems.

Zebian’s version of a modular home would be made of fiberglass panels and thermoplastic polyethylene terephthalate (PET) foam. He chose those materials because he believes they can make a sturdy dwelling in a short amount of time—specifically in just a single day.

“With fiberglass you can make extravagant molds, and you can replicate those,” Zebian told CTV News. “It can be duplicated. And for our roofing system, we’re not using the traditional truss method. We’re using actually an insulated core PET foam that supports the structure and structural integrity of the roof.”

Zebian also believes these homes don’t have to be purely utilitarian—they can also offer attractive design and customizable features to make them personal and appealing.

“Essentially, what I’m trying to do is bring a home to the public that could be built in one day, is affordable, and still carries some architecturally striking features,” he said to the London Free Press. “We don’t want to be bringing a house to Canadians that is just boxy and that not much thought was put into it.”

Beginning in May 2026, Zebian is putting his modular home prototype to the test by living inside of a unit for a full year with the hope of working out any and all kinks before approaching manufacturers.

“We want to see if we can make it through all four seasons- summer, winter, spring, and fall,” said Zebian. “But that’s not the only thing. When you live in something that long and use it, you can notice every single mistake and error, and you can optimize for the best experience.”

While Zebian knows that his modular homes aren't a long-term solution to either the homeless or housing crisis, he believes they could provide an inexpensive option to help people get the shelter they need until certain policies are reformed so the unhoused can find affordable permanent dwellings.

@hard.knock.gospel

What to buy for the homeless at the grocery store. 🛒 Most people get it wrong. After being there myself, these are the survival items that actually matter 💯 The 2nd to last one is about more than survival—it’s about DIGNITY. We are all one circumstance away from the same shoes 🙏 SAVE this for your next grocery run. 📌 IG@hardknockgospel Substack@ Outsiders_Anonymous #homelessness #helpingothers #kindness #payitforward #learnontiktok

Zebian’s proposal and experiment definitely inspires others to try to help, too. If you wish to lend a hand to the unhoused community in your area in the United States, but don’t know where to look, you can find a homeless shelter or charity near you through here. Whether it’s through volunteering or through a donation, you can help make a difference.

From Your Site Articles
homelessness
InnovationScience
Education

German man picks apart the American habit of smiling at strangers in the most German way

Public transportation is a "smile-free zone."

Germany; German; smiling; culture; cultural norms; smiling at strangers; customer service
Photo credit: Canva

A German man explains why smiling at strangers in public is weird in Germany

Americans have such an interesting reputation internationally, but one that seems to give our nationality away in Germany is our habit of smiling. That's not to say that Germans don't smile because of course they do! But they don't smile while passing strangers on the street or use it as a social nicety.

Some may consider the constant smiling that many Americans do as fake or disingenuous because it's not part of their cultural norms. Dominik, a German man who runs the YouTube channel Get Germanized, explains that Americans may be taken aback by the lack of smiling by German citizens in public settings.

In America, it's considered polite to smile when greeting people or even when entering a place of business while passing another customer. It's a social norm that signals to the other person that you're acknowledging them. Sometimes this can be followed by a good morning or a thank you if the person in question held the door. There are places in the country where this is not as prevalent, but even in large cities where everyone seems to be in a rush, smiling still seems to be an understood custom.

Germany; German; smiling; culture; cultural norms; smiling at strangers; customer service Smiling girl chatting outdoors with a friend.Photo credit: Canva

Cultures vary from state to state, so it's no surprise that German social niceties are different than those in the U.S., Dominik explains, "Smiling is social lubricant everywhere else. [In] Many cultures, especially English-speaking ones, smiling is a social default. You smile at strangers. You smile to soften social interactions. You smile even when you don't mean it. It's a universal, friendly, 'I'm harmless' gesture. In Germany, that's suspicious. People will think, 'Why is this person smiling at me?'"

He goes on to share that the German smile is rare because it is only used when they're familiar with the person and are genuinely happy or amused. According to Dominik, a German offering up smiles to random people could "feel fake, intrusive, or overly familiar." It can also be seen as nervousness, insecurity, or manipulation. Germans don't smile to soothe the discomfort of themselves or others. Instead, their faces remain neutral until they experience an emotion that would elicit change.

"German communication is built on honesty. Not just in words, their body language too. If they're tired, you'll see it. If they're annoyed, you'll feel it. If they're happy, they'll show it, but only when they actually are. No forced cheerfulness. No plastic service smile. No, 'How are you? Fine,' dance. It's refreshing once you get used to it. Like taking off a mask you didn't know was there," Dominik says.

The no-smiling cultural norm extends to the service industry in Germany. Customer service employees are there to solve the customer's problems, not to be entertaining. Dominik explains that Germans trust professionals who look focused while working. Even on public transportation, no smiling is going on between commuters; people mind their own business. They're not unfriendly, they're respecting your space." Dominik shares.

Germany; German; smiling; culture; cultural norms; smiling at strangers; customer service Smiling warmly in a cozy sweater, feeling relaxed and happy.Photo credit: Canva

The German culture enthusiast assures viewers that Germans smile a lot, but it's reserved for friends, families, and cute puppies. They also smile at people they like, so it's not that Germans think Americans are strange for smiling; their cultural norms are just different.

From Your Site Articles
cultural norms
EducationLearning
Modern Families

Mom realizes she's been using the 'heavy' setting on her washer wrong for years—and fellow moms are shook

"Today years old when I realize why my blankets are sopping wet."

washer, washing machine setting, how to use washing machine, laundry, laundry tips
Image courtesy of @granolabarpan/Instagram (with permission)

Stay-at-home mom Catrina shares shock at learning what the 'heavy' setting on her washer means.

Knocking out loads of laundry is a feeling of accomplishment that is unmatched. Depending on what needs to be washed, washing machines offer a variety of settings for the ideal clean. But even the most seasoned laundry pros can admit that they don't fully understand how to use them properly.

One stay-at-home mom shared her funny and relatable washing machine mistake. Catrina (@granolabarpan) got the shock of a lifetime when she realized that she had been using the "heavy" setting on her washer wrong for years.

"POV: today years old when it clicks why my blankets are sopping wet!!! I thought HEAVY meant heavy items being washed," she wrote in the video's overlay.

"Heavy on my machine means heavily soiled," she went on to add in the comments. "I thought it meant the stuff I was putting in the machine was heavy in weight/pounds."

Some moms are also realizing this for the first time. "Ok.. so I am 66 years old learning this???!! I always thought that heavy meant weight also😂," one person commented. Another person wrote, "Well I was today years old when I learned what heavy meant too…😂"

Others expressed confusion with so many settings, and reminiscing on simpler times. "Wait a minute. 😂. I think I need to for once go and read the manual because I have been wondering about all of the options," another user wrote. And another chimed in, "I want my old $250 3 options hot/warm/cold on/off washer back. It didn’t die it rusted out but took 25yrs to do it. I had 5 kids, plus my ex in-laws living with me."

Washing machine settings, explained

Struggling to understand the settings on your washing machine? You're not alone.

"Knowing these settings helps avoid common laundry mistakes, such as using the heavy cycle for heavy fabric weight instead of heavy soil, which can lead to ineffective cleaning or damage over time," Vanessa Ruiz, a professional organizer at Sparkly Maid San Antonio, tells Upworthy.

These are five washing machine settings and how they work:

1. Normal/Regular Cycle
Ruiz explains that this is your typical setting for day-to-day loads such as t-shirts, jeans, sheets, and underwear.

"These laundry loads are typically washed in warm water and the setting is rinsed with medium spin speeds through agitation in order to properly clean moderately soiled garments," she says. "This cycle is safe enough to wash a variety of different fabric content with a somewhat dirty load."

2. Delicate/Gentle Cycle
Ruiz notes that the delicate cycle is created specifically for delicate fabrics—lingerie, silk, lace, or embellished clothing—that may become damaged in a normal or regular wash.

"This cycle will use moderate spin speeds through gentle agitation to thoroughly dry clean and not damage clothes too easily," says Ruiz. "This is the preferred cycle when laundry items that require extra care or are labeled 'delicate' or 'hand wash' need to be washed."

3. Heavy Duty Cycle
The heavy duty cycle is specifically for heavily soiled items like work clothes, kitchen towels, and bedding.

"This setting uses higher water temperatures, longer wash times, and powerful agitation to remove stubborn dirt and grime. It’s perfect for those tough laundry jobs, but not recommended for delicate fabrics," explains Ruiz.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

4. Bulky/Bedding Cycle
This cycle is often confused with "heavy."

"This cycle accommodates larger, heavier items that absorb a lot of water, such as comforters, pillows, and sleeping bags," says Ruiz. "It uses more water, medium spin speeds, and longer wash times to thoroughly clean bulky items without causing damage or imbalance."

5. Quick Wash
In a rush? This is the perfect setting to use.

"It is an accelerated wash cycle designed for small loads of lightly soiled clothes, usually lasting 15 to 40 minutes," says Ruiz. "It’s great for when you need clean clothes fast and can save energy compared to longer cycles."

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
washing machine
Modern FamiliesFamily
Community

79-year-old man publicly sings Barry Manilow's 'Mandy' to his dental hygienist and nails it

"Barry Manilow will be proud."

senior citizen, elderly, karaoke, music, Barry Manilow, singing
Photo Credit: Canva

An elderly man sings karaoke. Barry Manilow poses for a headshot.

Sometimes, people just want to sing. They imagine themselves belting out their favorite tunes to whomever will listen. But for many, anxiety overtakes their fantasy. The thought of messing up or sounding bad is just too terrifying, and they end up keeping their songs to themselves.

Luckily for a 79-year-old man named Colin in Barnsley in the UK, the opportunity to turn this fantasy into a reality presented itself. Singer/songwriter Ruth Lisgo had begun recording karaoke on the street, occasionally handing out a microphone to those who wanted to join in on harmonizing or singing a verse or two.

Colin first went viral after singing "Words" by the Bee Gees. Lisgo states on an Instagram post that "over one million have now viewed that video."

@ruthlisgomusic

Replying to @Sir Nick the Naughty I absolutely agree Nick. So often when I’m busking I come across people who have so many stories to tell and often in life it just takes a few minutes to really make a difference with someone by listening ❤️ 🙏 Colin has many stories I’m sure #words #beegees #busking #takethetime

Well, Colin has returned a few times, most recently to belt out "Mandy" by Barry Manilow. An added bonus is that he dedicated his rendition to none other than his dental hygienist.

In a chyron over the clip, Lisgo explains, "This man asked if he could sing on my mic. He told me he only sang karaoke at home when he was younger, but always loved singing and music. But he was afraid of forgetting words and being on a stage. He came back today to sing this for his dental hygienist who had seen the video of him singing 'Words' by the Bee Gees, and she requested him to sing this ahead of her going to a Barry Manilow concert in 2026."

Clad in a warm coat and beanie, Colin grasps the microphone. His hands seem to shiver in the cold, but what comes out of his voice is pure warmth and perfection. He begins, "I'm standing on the edge of time. I've walked away when love was mine." For a moment, he blanks on the following lyric, "Caught up in a world of uphill climbing, the tears are in my mind and nothing is rhyming." But Lisgo steps in to help him find his way.

Now for the chorus and a key change: "Oh Mandy! Well, you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away. Oh Mandy! Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking. And I need you today. Oh Mandy!"

The clip jump cuts to both Colin and Lisgo caught up in the moment. You can clearly feel the pride, smiles, and applause as Lisgo flips the camera to reveal a small crowd has formed. Lisgo asks commenters under her Instagram post to please share where they live so Colin can feel love from all over the world.

Over 5,500 people (and counting) did just that. Chiming in from Canada to Turkey to Finland to Sweden, compliments poured in by the hour. "Wonderful moment for him and for us," one Instagrammer writes.

Another addresses their comment directly to Lisgo, praising her for bringing so much joy. "I don't know you, but I actually watched your reaction to him singing and it was beautiful. I could see the heart and kindness in your face." Lisgo replies sharing how moved she was, writing, "I was brought to tears and I was feeling so much in this moment. It really was special and magic - thank you!"

Another commenter shares what so many of us believe: "Barry Manilow will be proud."

Colin sings full-version of "Mandy" by Barry Manilow. www.youtube.com, Ruth Lisgo

From Your Site Articles
barry manilow
CommunityJoy
Friendship

Real people say this post-hangout question helps keep friendships alive

"It's such a simple and effective way to show love..."

friendships, hangouts, friends, organizers, adult friendships, how to stay friends,
Photo credit: Canva, alvarog1970 from alvarostock (main image) / anlomaja (text box)

People think this post-hangout question can be a friendship game-changer.

It's not always easy to maintain close friendships as an adult. Everyone's busy and to some degree exhausted, and free time is scarce. So how do we maximize our friend time? And how do we reach out without looking too pushy? A regular person offered a suggestion: asking one thoughtful post-hangout question that's made their friendships "so much stronger."

It's pretty simple: "When's the next time I'll see you?"

Here's their logic: "You're showing enthusiasm for seeing your friend again, reassuring them you had a good time, and planning the next time you'll see each other all in one go," they wrote on Reddit. "Obviously this requires the friend to reciprocate, but it's such a simple and effective way to show love that has had consistent, lasting effects on my friendships. I don't typically say this to new friends; it's for people that I'm confident I want consistently in my life."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Their trending post earned hundreds of replies, as people weighed in with their perspectives.

One person appeared to echo the OP's sentiment, talking about the importance of having a "chooser" in friendships—someone who will take on the role of making plans. "'Be a chooser' is the best advice I ever received," they wrote. "People want to hang out, but very few want to make the decision to hang out and organize it. Be the chooser…people will follow."

In reply, someone added, "I'm the planner and the calendar friend. For a long time, I took it so personal that no one else really planned things. But actually, people appreciate this. If they didn't, they'd make excuses to not hang out or would just say no instead of enthusiastically agree."

Here are more interesting comments, including some with a different perspective:

"This works because it removes guesswork"

"I have a group of girlfriends from college that get together every month for brunch, and most of them are also in a book club with me. At the end of each hang, whether it's brunch or book club, we get our calendars out and plan the next one. Occasionally we skip a month if there's a ton of conflicts, and not every person makes every single hang, but they happen very regularly and have been happening regularly for about 2 1/2 years now. We're all late 30s-mid 40s with careers and (in their cases,) spouses and families. 10/10 everyone should do this!"

"It rules that this works for you! I have to say, if someone asks me this, unless we're super duper bestest friends I'm just gonna say, 'hopefully soon- let's talk!" and not much will change. Seeing friends is more of a time issue than a desire issue IMO. Even if we want to plan things, we're busy a lot."

friendship, happiness, adult friendships, staying close with friends, friendship dynamics Two friends hugging. Photo credit: Canva, mododeolhar from Pexels

"I see the usefulness of this, but also I think this would low-key give me a panic attack if I just got done hanging out with someone and they wanted to plan the next one. I'm fully prepared to believe this is a 'me' thing"

"Agree with you in spirit but phrasing it that way puts a lot of pressure on them to figure out a date in advance, and some people don't like to plan far in advance."

"Instead I usually go with something like 'what's our next thing?' Easier for another person to figure out what something is than when on the spot"

"I love this because it shows intention without being clingy. So many friendships fade just because no one makes the next step explicit. This feels simple, warm, and very human."

"If this isn't your speed, you can also text them the next day. This works well for anxious people because it also sends them an affirmation/aftercare if they are worried about the hangout."

"This works because it removes guesswork. Clear interest plus a next step keeps friendships from fading by accident."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Focus on the reception"

While some people felt the question could come off as pushy, the OP clarified their stance with a few key points: they don't ask it every time they see someone, particularly people they see often, and they always make sure to read the room. They continued, "You do NOT do this after an exhausting event, or with people who do not like planning. Sometimes it's a conversation opener; others it's a time to pull out the calendar. This works well for busy people who also like consistent quality time. If that is not you, that's okay."

While every friend dynamic is unique, it's natural to feel like you're constantly initiating hangout plans.

Friendship coach Danielle Jackson explored this idea in a 2021 YouTube video, explaining that there are three key things you can do if you feel like the "giver" in a relationship: give the other person the "opportunity to initiate," reframe how you view their contributions, and "focus on the reception" rather than the initiative. "At the end of the day," Jackson says, "it's less about who's asking and more about who's saying yes."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

From Your Site Articles
friendship
FriendshipJoy
Trending Stories