He ditched a tour of Israel after spotting a very flawed map. The story went viral.

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Elon Glickman knew something wasn't right while on his tour of Israel.

On July 18, Glickman and a handful of young Jewish Americans were participating in a guided heritage tour sponsored by an organization called Birthright Israel. As part of the tour, they were given maps — but those maps were alarming to Glickman: They had erased Palestine completely.

Glickman asked the guide why Gaza and the West Bank — both Palestinian territories — were missing from the map. The guide said the state of Israel believes those areas are part of Israel.

But that didn't sit right with Glickman.

"It’s not fair," Glickman said to the guide, as shown in a video of the encounter. "The people who live [in Palestine] can’t vote, they’re under military occupation, their water is being controlled by someone else, and they can’t get access to it. And their lives are like a living hell because they can’t even see their families in Jerusalem … the roads are constantly controlled, they have to go through all these checkpoints."

— (@)

As Glickman and the others found out, Birthright Israel doesn't allow participants to visit Palestinian land or openly discuss their occupation. This refusal to acknowledge or expose the harsh realities of Palestinians living under occupation is a problem Glickman felt he had to give voice to: "It feels like the equivalent of going to the Jim Crow South during segregation and not talking about segregation."

After speaking out, he and seven others chose to walk off their tour and instead meet and learn from Palestinian families facing eviction.

— (@)

There's no getting around it: The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is a polarizing issue.

While the Holy Land is significant to the three Abrahamic faiths (Islam, Christianity, and Judaism), thousands of years of violent conflict has raised the question of who is the rightful owner of the land. In 1967, Israel gained control and occupied Palestinian land. Since then, Israel has built more than 500,000 illegal settlements and forced 7 million Palestinians to flee their homes.

In order to strengthen the connection between the Jewish identity and Israel, Birthright Israel offers free trips to young Jewish people worldwide. But a sizable portion of Birthright Israel's funding comes from the Israeli government with substantial donations coming from private donors, like Sheldon Adelson, an American casino magnate and an influential right-wing financier.

But as young Jewish people are discovering, these Birthright tours aren't painting a complete picture. Essentially, they're erasing Palestinians altogether.

— (@)

Glickman's group in July is not the only example of young Jewish people taking a stand on the occupation of Palestine.

On June 28, five Birthright participants walked off their trips to meet with Breaking the Silence, an anti-occupation group of former IDF soldiers, and then they went to Hebron to meet with Palestinian families living under occupation. They live-streamed their encounters.

IfNotNow, an American Jewish progressive group, launched a campaign this summer called #NotJustAFreeTrip. The campaign encourages young Jewish Americans on their Birthright Israel tours to demand that the group educate participants on the occupation of Palestine. In addition to having participants walk off the tours, IfNotNow activists hand out educational materials about the occupation to people heading on Birthright Israel trips.

"Our generation will no longer allow ourselves to be manipulated by right-wing donors and the radical Israeli government who tell us a story about Israel and Judaism that legitimizes, justifies, or simply ignores the Occupation," the campaign website read. "We demand the truth."

But walking off trips and speaking out against occupation does come at a cost — quite literally.

Participants who protested have reported that they lost their deposits for the trip and had their flights back home canceled.

In response, IfNotNow has launched a crowdfunding campaign to help finance these costs. Some of the proceeds will also go to help Palestinian families in the West Bank and Jerusalem. At the time of this post, they'd raised over $15,000.

And while the money certainly helps, the most impactful thing these Jewish Americans have done is set a powerful example: We must stand against any forms injustice, even if we're its benefactors.

Land O'Lakes

Land O'Lakes® products are made from milk sourced directly from member-owned farms, including butters, cheeses, spreads and other dairy staples loved by consumers for cooking, baking and snacking

Community

Land O’Lakes and Clove are filling the nation’s food banks with much-needed butter and shoes

Land O’Lakes and Clove are teaming up to bring comfort to communities in need.

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Food banks are a community staple for millions of Americans. Not only do they provide nutritional assistance to low-income families, they’re also often one of the few places where people can get non-food essentials like diapers, toiletries, paper towels, clothing and more. For the 44 million people in the United States facing food insecurity, pantries can literally be a lifeline.

But that lifeline is at risk. Food pantries rely on donations, both from individuals and government programs, to stay stocked. Rising poverty levels and budget cuts mean that food pantries sometimes can’t meet the demands of their communities—and as a result, families go without.

No person should struggle for basic needs—which is why Land O’Lakes is teaming up with Clove in the name of comfort ahead of the 2025 holiday season.

Comfort, meet comfort.

A partnership between a farmer-owned cooperative and a modern footwear brand might seem like an unusual pairing. But the reality is that both organizations provide things that are enjoyable and much needed for American families.

You might be surprised to learn, for example, that dairy is one of the most requested but least-donated items at food banks around the nation. From a nutritional lens, dairy is a source of high-quality protein that provides 3 of 4 nutrients—calcium, potassium and vitamin D—that low-income households are at risk of missing from their diets.

But on a larger scale, dairy provides comfort. Items like butter, milk and cream are in high demand, particularly around the end of the year since so many families use these items for baking holiday treats. And while shoes can be stylish gifts, they’re also a basic necessity for hardworking frontline workers who provide care for others and spend hours on their feet. In fact, 96 million people in the U.S. spend their work shift standing.

"We are so excited to collaborate with Clove Shoes and take a moment to celebrate the color of the moment, but also our everyday favorite, butter yellow," said Heather Anfang, president of Land O'Lakes Dairy Foods. "As a company who shares our values of community, hard work and comfort, we are thrilled for the launch of their shoe but also for our shared donation to those in need in an important area for our two brands in Philadelphia."

Meaningful giving when people need it most

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Together, the organizations have donated dozens of sneakers and more than 3,750 pounds of butter to Philabundance, one of the largest food banks in Philadelphia and part of Feeding America’s nationwide network of food banks, pantries, and meal programs. As they team up to donate needed supplies, they’re also helping families feel nourished—inside and out—ahead of the cold winter months.

"As a Philadelphia-based brand, we’re proud to give back to the community we call home—nourishing our city and supporting those who care every day," shares Jordyn Amoroso, Co-founder and CBO. Clove has also gifted 88 shoes to the students enrolled at Philabundance Community Kitchen: a free, life-changing workforce development program run by Philabundance.

At a time when so many are stretched thin and families are moving into the holiday season facing food insecurity, collaborations like these can provide an unexpected value—a chance to revitalize local communities, to nourish families, and show how comfort can take many different forms.

Learn more about this unexpected partnership here.

Learning

27 English words people have a hard time enunciating properly, even native speakers

"The word I notice people struggle with is 'vulnerable'. Something about that N following an L is tricky."

Image via Canva/Povozniuk

English words that are difficult to enunciate.

The English language is hard to master, even for native speakers. With over an estimated one million words in the language, not only are English words hard to memorize—they can be hard to properly pronounce and enunciate. Getting tripped up with pronunciation can make your communication unclear, or worse—make you sound uneducated.

As American English teacher Vanessa explains, many mispronounced words are common and used in daily conversation due to tricky consonants and vowels in English words. But by knowing the proper pronunciation, it can help you become a more confident speaker, which is why she shared 33 words that are hard for English language learners to pronounce, such as "probably," "drawer," and "sixth."

On the subreddit r/words, a person posed the question: "What's a word you've noticed many native English speakers have difficulty enunciating even though the word is used fairly often?"

Turns out, there are a menagerie of words people notoriously stumble over. These are 27 English words that people say are the hardest to enunciate.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Tricky 'R' words

"The word I notice people struggle with is 'vulnerable'. Something about that N following an L is tricky." - common_grounder

"Rural." - Silent-Database5613

“'Nucular' for nuclear." - throwawayinthe818

"Remuneration v renumeration (first one is correct)." - RonanH69

"February. It sounds like you're pronouncing it like it's spelled Febuary. But it's spelled February." - SDF5-0, ShadedSpaces

"Mirror. Some people pronounce it 'meer'." - weinthenolababy, diversalarums

"Anthropomorphize is a word I have to use semi-frequently with limited success each attempt." - ohn_the_quain

"I can’t say the phrase 'rear wheel' without considerable effort." - ohn_the_quain

"Eraser (erasure, but they're talking about the pink rubber thing)." - evlmgs

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Multiple syllables

"Exacerbated vs exasperated." - SNAFU-lophagus

"'Asterisk'. A lot of people wind up inadvertently name-checking Asterix. I think it's best for those who struggle to use the alternative name for that punctuation mark, the 'Nathan Hale', after the American patriot who famously declared, 'I can only regret that I have but one asterisk for my country!'" - John_EightThirtyTwo

"I realized recently I have always mispronounced mischievous. It's mis-chiv-us, not mis-chee-vee-us. I don't know if I've ever heard anyone pronounce that correctly." - callmebigley"

'Supposebly' [supposedly]. Drives me up the wall." - BlushBrat

"Library. My coworker knows I hate it, so he’ll say Liberry every time." - Jillypenny"ET cetera, not 'ect' cetera. I think people are used to seeing the abbreviation etc and since there is no diphthong tc in English their mind bends it into ect." - AdFrequent4623

"The amount of people who say Pacific when they're trying to stay specific is pretty alarming. I'm not even sure if they know it's a different word sometimes." - Global-Discussion-41

"Then there was my old boss who would confidently and consistently use the word tenant when he meant tenet." - jaelith"

"Probably." - Rachel_Silver

"Contemplate. It's one of those word I hear people stumble over more than anything, often it comes out as Comtemplate, Contempate or a combination of both." - megthebat49

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Foods

"Turmeric. People drop the first R. It drives me nuts!" - Jillypenny

"Oh, and it’s espresso, no X [ex-presso]." - Jillypenny

"Also cardamom with an N." - nemmalur

"Pumpkin (punkin)." - evlmgs

espresso, espresso gif, sipping espresso, espresso drink, drinking espresso sipping modern family GIF Giphy

Awkward vowels

"Crayon 👑. My ex pronounced it 'cran'. Drove me up a wall." - rickulele, premeditatedlasagna

'Mute' for moot. A good friend of mine, who's extremely intelligent and articulate otherwise, says that. Unfortunately, it's a word she likes to use. I haven't had the heart to tell her she's pronouncing it incorrectly, and it's been three decades." NewsSad5006, common_grounder

"Jewelry." - weinthenolababy

"I hear grown adults calling wolves woofs and they're not doing it to be funny." - asexualrhino

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Family

Happiness expert shares blunt advice for empty nesters: Stop smothering your college aged kids

This tough love advice comes from happiness researcher Gretchen Rubin.

@theholdernessfamily/Instagram

Gretchen Rubin blew some parents' minds by saying they only need calls once a week.

If you’re a parent of a college student, you’re all-too familiar with that strange, bittersweet ache that shows up once the house gets quiet.

Yes, everything stays cleaner for longer. Yes, there’s FINALLY peace in a way you always said you wanted. And yet, in that newly found space…you feel the tug of longing.

Despite being incredibly proud that your child is out there building a life that’s truly their own, it’s impossible not to miss those small, ordinary, yet oh-so precious moments: the casual check-ins, the “what’s for dinner” texts, the sound of them coming home.

You hope that a phone call—or two, or seven—each week might help fill that void. And when those calls get fewer and farther between…torture. Pure torture.

And as it turns out, according to happiness expert and author Gretchen Rubin, that distance can actually be a healthy sign of growth for both parent and child. In fact, in a recent episode of the Laugh Lines podcast, Rubin told hosts Kim and Penn Holderness that when it comes to keeping in touch with your college-aged kids, once a week is plenty.

If hearing this left you aghast, you’re not alone. Many parents, including Kim and Penn, were shook.

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“That…was a dagger,” said Penn. Meanwhile, Kim just let out a gut wrenching “AGGGGGH.”

But Rubin’s tough love advice is rooted in compassion and sound reasoning. The first few months away from home can be overwhelming. College students are balancing classes, friendships, self-discovery, and, for the first time, life without a built-in safety net. Sometimes, fewer calls aren’t a sign of disconnection. They’re merely a sign of your kid adjusting to a new life. And pretty well too, if they’re not having to call home every minute of every day.

That said, Rubin added that, “I think if you have a communicative child, that’s wonderful.”

For those times when the calls do happen, Rubin encouraged parents to “keep it positive” and avoid what she calls “interviewing for pain.’” In other words, those well-meaning questions that come from love but land a little heavy.

Examples:

“Are you still fighting with your roommate all the time?”

“Is the food still bad?”

“How's that working out with all those girls sharing one bathroom?”

Rubin explains that these kinds of questions can make kids relive the rough parts instead of focusing on what’s going right. She argues that parents can do more good by guiding the conversations towards small wins, curiosity, and joy.

empty nest, kids in college, parents, parenting, holderness family, gretchen rubin, college, parenting advice It's not an empty nest. It's an open door. Photo credit: Canva

Her wisdom goes even deeper. “Sometimes parents will say, ‘I’m so sad, but they’re so happy. They’re having so much fun.’ But even that,” she said, “is a lot of pressure for a child to feel like, ‘Well, I have to be happy.’ Parents always say, ‘You’re only as happy as your least happy child,’ but I think for some children, ‘I’m only as happy as my least happy parent.’ And managing the happiness of a parent is very, very hard.”

Of course, other parents had mixed feelings about Rubin’s advice. Many admitted that they certainly did not live by that frequency.

“Once a weekkkkkkk. Hell no. I talked to my mom every day basically. I feel like that’s appropriate 😂”

“Once a week? Absolutely not. I’m in my 40’s and I talk to my mom every day.😂”

Still others brought up the fact that sometimes kids will avoid calling just when they need support the most.

“We text once a day. I require 1 FaceTime a week.. I have a son who’s 9 hours away. My first went 13 hours away and called weekly with amazing stories. I found out later when he was hospitalized due to anxiety that all his stories were lies to appease me.”

“Love Gretchen but on this I don’t agree. I’m the oldest. Someone told my mom to not call at all and wait for me to call them. Meanwhile at college, I was waiting for a call hoping someone missed me or was interested in my life at all…. I waited over 3 weeks for someone to call or ask ‘how are you?’ and it broke me…I would say it’s more important to know your child and just ask what they want or need.”

Understanding your child’s individual wants and needs is crucial, but Rubin’s essential message remains pretty universal: our kids shouldn’t have to carry the weight of our emotions while they’re figuring out their own. Letting them go doesn’t mean losing touch. It means trusting that love can hold steady across distance and time.

Whether it’s a once-a-week call, a once-a-month call, or a once-a-day call, remember that it’s more about maintaining a loving connection than about keeping tabs. It’s certainly no easy task, but kids need to know their parents are cheering them on from home, even when they’re too busy becoming themselves.

At the end of the day, parenting is an exercise in radical trust. Both of your child, and of yourself.

You can watch the full episode of the Laugh Lines podcast below:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

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Animals & Wildlife

A fun personality test determines 'how you love' based on your animal archetype

Are you a lion, a beaver, an otter, or a golden retriever?

Phtoo Credit: https://www.canva.com/photos

An otter, a lion, a golden retriever, a beaver

In the never-ending quest to understand ourselves better, or at least have just one more distraction from whatever it is we should be doing, here comes the animal personality test. And the craziest part is (at least for me), it's kind of accurate.

The truth is, these days anyone can create their own personality tests. (And they do… and I've taken them.) Which Sex and the City character are you? Who is your inner Marvel superhero? What color is your heart? (Carrie, Ant Man, and black respectively.)

But this particular animal archetype quiz, in actuality, is a model developed in the late 90s by Gary Smalley, an author with a psychology background and a PhD in counseling. Co-created by author John Trent, the two wrote a book called The Two Sides of Love: The Secret to Valuing Differences. The idea is to strike a balance between the tender, "soft" side of love and the "hard," more direct side. After taking the quiz provided in the book (and now online), one can find out if their temperament is the lion, the beaver, the otter, or the golden retriever.

Even though it was written as a love-based tool, this personality test is often mentioned in the corporate world as a way to find out how people relate in the workforce. Jasper Rose, a financial recruiting agency, shared the quiz on their website, but notes, "This model should be taken with a pinch of salt. These animal categories describe the natural leaning of your temperament. In other words, they aren’t entirely fixed, as personalities are flexible and change over time, and people are complex." (So something an otter would say.)

Without further ado, the personality test can be taken (among many places) through this Michigan State University worksheet here:

personality test, lion, beaver, otter, golden retriever Gary Smalley and John Trent's personality testPhoto Credit: Michigan State University

As with most personality tests, these questions can be tricky, as many times more than one answer will apply. For example, one question asks that you rank what best describes you from the following: "likes authority, enthusiastic, sensitive feelings, likes instructions." Another: "Takes charge, takes risks, loyal, accurate." It's possible to relate to all four statements equally, making this a flawed test.

But if you're in it for a lighthearted look at something that may vaguely describe you, here's a breakdown of the results:

THE LION

lion, personality, fierce, strong, animal A lion roams. Giphy GIF by Savage Kingdom, Nat Geo

These, according to the test, are the natural-born leaders. They are confident, take-charge, strong, and independent. From the Jasper Rose website:

"Strengths: visionary, persistent, practical, productive, initiates change and projects, communicates directly, enjoys being challenged, strong-willed, independent, decisive, leader.

Weaknesses: Insensitive/cold, sarcastic, self-sufficient, impatient, stubborn, overlooks risks, controlling at times, can be too direct."

An educational worksheet on the Community Engaged Learning website (Michigan State University) adds that lions, "are great at initiating communication, but not great at listening." They add their natural desires are "freedom, authority, variety, difficult assignments, opportunity for advancement."

THE OTTER

otter, personality, silly, cute, animal An otter is surprised. Giphy GIF by Nashville Tour Stop

These are our happy social types. "They are often energetic and enthusiastic, with a tendency to be playful and enjoy humor. Otters are generally creative and enjoy trying new things but may struggle with follow-through. They value relationships and are often empathetic and compassionate towards others."

"Strengths: Outgoing, optimistic, personable, communicator, dreamer, responsive, warm, friendly, talkative, enthusiastic, compassionate.

Weaknesses: Undisciplined, unproductive, exaggerative, egocentric, unstable, struggle with follow-through, impulsive, needs social approval, easily offended."

The Center for Relationship Education adds, "Otters find it easy to be soft on people. It is also easy for them to be soft on problems. Otters need to learn to say ‘No’ and provide the hard-side balance of healthy boundary setting."

THE BEAVER

beaver, animal, personality type, snacks, cute Beaver enjoying a snack. Giphy GIF by San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance

These are our go-tos for decisive, detail-oriented people who actually enjoy structure and routine. "Beavers tend to be cautious and risk-averse, preferring to follow established procedures rather than taking chances. They are also known for their analytical skills and ability to organize complex information. However, they may struggle with flexibility and creativity, and may sometimes be perceived as overly critical."

"Strengths: Analytical, thorough, decision-maker, deliberate, self-disciplined, industrious, organized, aesthetic, sacrificing.

Weaknesses: Moody, self-centered, touchy, negative, unsociable, critical, revengeful."

The educational handout adds that in terms of relationships, "Beavers are good listeners, communicate details, and are usually diplomatic."

THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER

dog, golden retriever, personality quiz, loyalty Golden Retriever adorably looks up. Giphy GIF by WoofWaggers

These are our loyal, dependable friends/lovers. "They also tend to avoid conflict and prioritize maintaining harmony in their relationships. However, they may struggle with making decisions and taking action, and may sometimes come across as passive or indifferent."

"Strengths: Calm, supportive, agreeable, easy-going, loyal, dependable, quiet, objective, diplomatic, humorous, values relationships, stable and consistent.

Weaknesses: Selfish, stingy, indirect with others, resists change, procrastinator, unmotivated, lacks initiative, indecisive, fearful, worrier, can be co-dependent."

The Center for Relationship Education notes, "Goldens’ strong tendency toward the soft-side of love can lead to issues of co-dependence and enabling. Goldens need to learn to balance their natural soft-side with some hard-side qualities."

As with most quizzes like these, most of us are a combination of traits not easily put into labeled boxes. If nothing else, it's a creative way to get people thinking about how they interact with one another in a variety of situations. (Which is totally something a golden retriever like me would say.)

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Learning

5 conversation tips to avoid making a first date feel like a job interview

Instead of asking what they like to do for fun, try this instead.

Photo credit: Canva

Conversation tips to avoid making a date feel like a job interview.

Going on a first date with someone can be nerve-racking. You glean what you can from their dating profile and the message exchanges that help you feel secure in knowing you won't wind up on an episode of The First 48. But once you're in front of each other, the conversation reverts to surface-level chatting about favorite colors, foods, and hobbies.

What could've been a fantastic connection based on the person's Hinge profile turns into a job interview. By the time dessert comes it feels like you should be asking about salary expectations.

Carey Gaynes, a dating coach and relationship expert, shares five tips on how to avoid turning your first date into an interview:

first date; bad first date; dating; date questions; job interview date; boring date; conversation starters Man listening intently during a conversation.Photo credit: Canva

1. Skip the interview

"Let's not do that typical interview style of boring questions, where it feels more like somebody is sitting...with a checklist going, they went to school, they majored in something I think is practical," Gaynes says in a YouTube video. "Skip the interview, there's other ways to have conversations on a first date."

2. Ask open-ended questions

Gaynes recommends asking open-ended questions that you'd be curious to know the answers to, whether you see them again or not. This means not just asking things that require a yes or no answer, and not asking questions that would only need a short response, such as, "Where do you work?"

While it can be great to know what a person does for a living, asking where they work is likely not going to tell you much outside of whose name is on the building.

first date; bad first date; dating; date questions; job interview date; boring date; conversation starters Couple enjoying a cozy evening with wine.Photo credit: Canva

3. Ask questions that will open the conversation faucet

"'You said in your dating profile that you love traveling. Do you have any suggestions on where I should go on my next international trip?'" Gaynes suggests. "'Or any places you've been that I should avoid because you have a crazy horror story? In fact, share your horror story with me.' I love to hear about vacations gone wrong. I mean, there's some humor, and it's silly, but at least you're not getting, 'I have two older brothers, we're three years apart, except my sister's five years younger.'"

Gaynes emphasizes that if you've asked a question you consider to be good or noteworthy, ask a follow-up question if the answer given is short.

She explains that if a date reveals that they just changed jobs during the conversation, appropriate follow-up questions would be, "what is the job that you got? Is it in the same field? What made you pick that? Were you looking for that job, or how did you come upon it? Do you work from home? Do you have to go into the office? How are the people you work with?"

first date; bad first date; dating; date questions; job interview date; boring date; conversation starters Romantic evening with laughter and bubbly on the balcony. 🥂✨Photo credit: Canva

4. Ask for the story you want to hear

Often, when dating someone new, you want to hear stories about their life. Typically, they come through lengthy conversations, sometimes several weeks into dating. Gaynes points out that you don't have to wait for it to come up naturally—simply ask for the story you want to hear. Most people love talking about themselves, so just ask.

You can ask for a story about how they decided on the job sector, or for them to tell you their favorite part of a neighborhood. Is there a time in their life when they felt most adventurous? Then follow up by asking if there's one thing they did during that time they'd like to relive. Getting a little creative with the questions can help you figure out if you're likely to have a connection through a mutual experience.

first date; bad first date; dating; date questions; job interview date; boring date; conversation starters Enjoying a heartfelt conversation over lunch.Photo credit: Canva

5. Instead of focusing on a good first date, focus on a good conversation

It seems as if all of the tips Gaynes shares lead to removing the pressure of expectation from the person you're going on a date with. Instead, focus on having a conversation you want to be a part of.

There's nothing more frustrating and disappointing than a dry conversation or sitting in silence while you both pick at your food, racking your brain for something the other person might want to talk about. Forget that unrealistic pressure. Bring up topics you want to know about or raise questions you wish the other person would ask you. Ask for the story you want to hear.

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Joy

People share 10 subtle signs that someone has a genuinely kind heart

"You can tell someone's heart by how they treat fragile things."

via Canva/Photos

A woman helping an elderly woman.

Even the worst person you know has a moment or two when they do something thoughtful for someone, and show that they may have a kind heart somewhere deep inside. But how do we know when people are being good out of the kindness of their hearts, or when they're trying to appear kind because they have some agenda? Or if they are people-pleasing to avoid social rejection?

All of us need to develop a good Spidey sense for when people are being genuine with their kindness—especially if they are someone we are considering building a closer relationship with. It seems that one of the tell-tale signs that someone is being genuinely kind is when they do something for someone who can’t do anything for them. It’s truly a selfless act, and not transactional.

A Redditor asked people on the AskReddit forum to share how they can “instantly tell if someone has a good heart,” and they shared simple gestures that show someone genuinely cares for others.

caring, kindness, green glag, kind heart, good heart, wheelchair A woman helping a woman in a wheelchair.via Canva/Photos

10 signs that someone can 'instantly' tell that someone has a good heart

1. Kind without exception

"Reminds me of one of my favourite TV quotes: 'Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind.'"

"There's this friend that every time I say something nice (which is like all the time) she says something in the style of 'are you just saying that to be nice,' as if I don't mean every word that comes out of my mouth. I think we all ought to be as kind as possible to everyone in a genuine way, no exceptions."

2. They include the quiet people

"When they notice the quiet person in the room and make sure that they are also included without making it a big deal."

"When I was younger and in High School, a friend did this for me. I used to sit alone whenever lunch rolled around. I had the “weird” group always wanting me to sit with them, but some days I really just didn’t want to. I didn’t fit in with them, but sometimes it was better than being alone. I remember the first time he ever included me—we were in a computer science class, and I wouldn’t talk to anyone. But he kept trying, and eventually I ended up sitting with them at the lunch table. It was such a relief, and it genuinely made me so happy down to my core. Looking back, I see him as an angel; he saved me from loneliness. He was such an amazing dude."

3. Treats everyone the same

"Treats people with less power or status with the same respect they show to those above them."

"I guess when they treat everyone with respect regardless of their status or what they can give in return, like being kind to servers."

People often say you can tell if someone is a good person by how nice they are to the server at a restaurant. Those who are rude to the server show that they have no problem being rude to people they deem beneath them.

kindness, good heart, green flag, ice cream, children, bench A young girl sharing her ice cream.via Canva/Photos

4. They care for the elderly

"When they slow down for an elderly person without being asked. Saw this with my grandma once - a stranger just matched her pace with her groceries, no rush, no phone. My granny told me after: 'You can tell someone's heart by how they treat fragile things.'"

5. They love your dog

"When they smile at my dog when we walk by."

"Reminds me of a time I was out walking my Golden Retriever. It’s late, as we walk through downtown on a Friday night. This group of Young drunk guys walk towards us. I’m starting to be a bit nervous as I’m alone and they are quite loud and looks quite buff. But suddenly one of them yells 'OMG!? A GOLDEN RETRIEVER!' He runs towards my dog, falls to his knees in front of her and plants the biggest gentle kiss on her forehead. He proceeds to overly praise, hug and pet her while speaking in a baby/cooing tone. The other guys just stare at him in disbelief. While he pets my dog he tells me about how much he just loves animals, my dog who is usually quite reserved is melting in his arms like butter. I just know deep down this kid is such a good person because of how he acted that night and because of how my dog instantly picked up on his energy."

Even though sensitive people who care for others often have a special place in their hearts for animals, there is a group of people who absolutely love animals but don't have a lot of positive feelings towards humans: narcissists. Pet owners who are high in the narcissism trait may love their furry friends because they see them as a reflection of themselves, while at the same time, seeing their relationships with people as little more than transactional.

6. They help the server

"When they stack their dishes at a table to help waiters/waitresses."

"Same here, I used to work in hospitality, nothing worse than having to reach for the plates on long tables. It was always so appreciated when they did it themselves."

homeless, unhoused, kindness, goodness, green flag A man helping a homeless person.via Canva/Photos

7. They expect nothing in return

"The good people give of themselves, but other good people notice it and make sure they give back to that person."

"Kindness that doesn’t need an audience. Especially nowadays because of social media."

If you are the type of person who gives to others and has a sense that you deserve something in return, the good news is that you can change into someone who gives without expecting anything back. ThriveWorks said the best way to learn that skill is to give with the intention of serving someone's specific needs, while being wary of takers who never contribute to others. When one becomes accustomed to giving without expecting anything in return, they begin to take joy in the act rather than feeling stressed out that they aren't being compensated.

8. The look on their face

"Their face. It's weird, but I often notice right away a pure/white heart by seeing it in their face. I don't even know how to describe it, it's a kind of genuine aura coming from their eyes or smile."

"I agree somewhat. But someone could also be kind but look unkind by their resting face, or could be affected at that moment by a negative emotional/mental state but it’s not an accurate way to judge how they treat others. The meanest looking person can be soft on the inside and the friendliest looking person can be internally vicious."

9. They know how to console people

"When I was 21, my dad died unexpectedly. The next day, to try to maintain some normalcy, I went to a friend’s birthday party. His new girlfriend, who I had never met before, was there. I told them about how my dad had passed without notice and I was having a hard time with it. Later that night I found a spot on a couch in another room and put my face in my hands, not sure if I was going to cry or not. My friends new girlfriend walked in the room with a glass of water. She sat next to me and scratched my back for a long time. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me and that young lady had a magnificent heart."

10. Kind with nothing to gain

"When they show kindness in moments where it gains them nothing like being patient with someone struggling, helping quietly without needing recognition, or treating service workers with the same respect as anyone else. The small, genuine gestures always reveal the biggest hearts."

"When a stranger sees you hurting and takes the time to see if you're ok."

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