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Proud goth man compares striking side-by-side photos of himself between ages of 18 and 48

“We do improve with age, don't we?"

Photo Credit: Reddit, Hemlox76

A man shows his goth fashion at 18 and at 48.

There is something about the music we connect to when we're young that beautifully helps shape our identity. We want to scream from the rooftops, "This is how I feel!" but we so often can't. Luckily, clothes and accessories can do the proverbial screaming for us. Often, it's written off as a moody teenage phase (and sometimes it is), but for some, it's an absolute vibe that becomes a part of everyday life all the way to the end.

And so, when a man took to the subreddit r/goth to show off HIS goth look from teen to middle-age, many rejoiced. The OP writes, "Fashion Friday: 'It's not just a phase, mom' 18 vs 48 years old." Under this is a split photo. On one side is the 18-year-old version of himself, hair slicked back, eyes full of dramatic dark liner and shadows. He's in all black (natch) with a Nosferatu t-shirt tucked into leather (or possibly pleather) pants. One hand is tucked into said pants, while the other dramatically holds up a glass—his body tilted in the ultimate cool pose, as he shows off his black nail polish.

On the other side is the now 48-year-old version. He wears a black sleeveless The Sisters of Mercy band shirt showing off lots of tats and an intense stare under his tiny glasses. Under the photo, he writes, "Less hair but more tattoos, and at least I don’t have to pose in my parents’ backyard anymore :)"

Goth music, The Cure, Gothic, fashion, style A man posts a photo of himself at 18 and at 48 showing off his goth looks.Reddit, Hemlox76

Upworthy had a chance to speak to this Redditor and when asked if he still feels the "goth vibe" that he did as a teen, his answer was enthusiastically , "Oh hell yeah I do!" He added, " I keep my look pretty toned down for work ( corporate gothic, sort of), but still go all out when going to concerts and stuff like that."

The comments under the post are undeniably goth in nature. The first immediately references death when they write, "Looking stylish in both pics. I'm currently 33. Goal is to be buried in goth attire." The OP replies, "Well, a black suit is usually standard :) Myself, I’d go for just a hole in the ground in the woods and an ash tree planted over me if that was legal over here."

This commenter explains how their music influences brought them to the goth lifestyle. "Heh. I came by mine honestly. Dad likes Black Sabbath and science fiction/fantasy, Mum likes Steeleye Span, Edward Gorey and gothic novels. Their kid likes all of it, plus goth rock and power metal. They thought it was weird when I was a teenager, but now that I'm an adult we go to shows together and my mum buys me black lace and darkly themed vintage :)"

And this kind Redditor compliments the OP: "You aged like a fine wine brother. And your hair colour now suits you. Granted I was 4 when the first pic was taken, but yum to both."

Goth guy explains how goth fashion emerged from the music. www.youtube.com, Jake Munro

The goth vibe, in music, clothes or all-around attitude, started gaining in popularity in the late 70s, as a term to describe atmospheric post-punk bands. The term got thrown around a bit, but the overarching idea is music and clothes that are dramatic, moody, and emotional. To paraphrase an old adage, "I'll wear black until they find a darker color," certainly applies. Both musically and in appearance, think Robert Smith, the front man for the English band The Cure.

The official music video for Pictures of You by The Cure. www.youtube.com, RHINO

The whole mood is steeped, at least in attitude and clothing, in Gothic literature which goes way farther back than just the 1970s. Moody heartbreak and even mysterious horror were romanticized in books like Frankenstein and Dracula. It was cool to be sad, and beautiful to be heartbroken.

And even though the goth baseline might appear dark, the Reddit thread illustrates that its community is often like a tight-knit family—with great taste in music AND clothes.

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Want your home to be 'the house' for your teens? Mom shares her 4 secret tricks.

There are so many benefits to being "the house" for your teens. Here's how to do it.

hi.im.amywhite/Instagram

Amy White explains how her house became "the house" for her teens.

I grew up in "the house." In high school, my home was the designated place where my friends gathered, sometimes in big groups, sometimes just my small core squad. My three best friends spent the night there almost every Friday and/or Saturday night for four years straight. We devoured Totino's frozen pizzas by the dozens, inhaled soda, and laid waste to any snacks or leftovers that were brave enough to exist somewhere in the kitchen. Not only that, but my house was pretty small — four teenage boys took up a lot of space in the living room (the whole thing) and made a lot of noise playing video games deep into the night. It must have driven my parents and older brothers crazy. It's a wonder anyone put up with it.

Or so I thought when I was younger. When I became a parent myself, I started to understand a little more why my mom and dad were so willing to host and feed me and all my friends every single weekend. Why the outrageous grocery bill and constant chaos in the house was probably a small price to pay.

One mom has perfectly encapsulated the value of turning your home into "the house" for your kids and their friends, and exactly how she did it for her family.

parenting, teens, raising teens, teen hangout, high school, game night for teens, activities for teens, parenthood Want your house to be THE house for teens? These suggestions could help. Photo credit: Canva

Amy White shared a reel on Instagram showing her college-aged son hanging in her dining room with a group of friends playing cards. The text overlay reads "What makes your kids high school friends want to come over, play cards & spend the night on their College Christmas Break". I think most parents can agree that we want our kids to keep coming home as long as possible! So how exactly did White pull this off?

Her explanation in the caption was spot-on.

First, White says that you have to start early. Become "the hang out house" in high school or even earlier. Then you have a better chance of holding onto the mantle into your kid's college years.

Glee Finn Hudson GIFfrom Glee GIFs

Next, be ready to stock the house with snacks and drinks, and don't make a fuss when your kid's friends have at it. "The kids knew we had food," she writes, "BUT they also knew I didn't care what they had. They knew they could eat anything in my pantry and fridge."

Third, and this is a big one, don't mistake being the "cool house" for being "the house." Some parents choose to allow their underage kids and friends to drink alcohol under their supervision, but you don't have to bend your morals and the law to lure the squad over to your place. Pizza and Coke is plenty to keep most teens happy. "We were not the house that served alcohol or even allowed the kids to bring alcohol to our house. And Guess What?? The kids still came and wanted to hang at our house!"

parenting, teens, raising teens, teen hangout, high school, game night for teens, activities for teens, parenthood There's a difference between being "the cool house" and being "the house." media0.giphy.com

Fourth, always say Yes (as often as possible, anyway) when your kids want to have friends over. "They know my answer is 99% of the time YES," White writes. "You have to have your kids take the leadership of offering your home and if your home was 'open' to their friends in high school, they know it will be 'open' to their friends in college."

As a bonus tip, White pleas with parents not to worry about the mess having friends over makes. "I love a clean house and organization, BUT I would much rather have a crazy messy house for the kids where memories are made than a quiet house with nothing going on just to keep my house 'clean.'"

White writes, "It's worth being 'the house', so let go of control & get to know your kids friends." Commenters agreed.

White's video went viral to the tune of 8.5 million views and hundreds of comments. Parents shared their own experiences of what it's like being the default hang out house.

"Our house was the high school hangout for my son and friends... every weekend... I loved it!! Miss it now that they are all college graduates and have moved away. I love seeing them when they do come home for the holidays"

"A wise man once said don't be the house with the alcohol. Be the house with the food."

"Amy 1000% agree!!! My house is full of teenagers on the weekends and I love every bit of it. Even though I wake up to a kitchen that looked much different from when I left it"

parenting, teens, raising teens, teen hangout, high school, game night for teens, activities for teens, parenthood We all miss our teenage metabolism, don't we? Photo credit: Canva

"We never allowed alcohol, drugs, bad language, always respectful, and guess what, our house was always the house where the kids hung out. First my daughter, then my son. Through grade school, high school, then when my kids went out of state for college their college friends would come spend a couple weeks during the summer. I always thought of it this way, I loved knowing my kids friends and, who knows, maybe some of those kids, especially during the younger years, just maybe those kids just needed an adult to care. Anyway, it was always fun to have them here!"

"It used to crack me up when my daughter would bring over a bunch of her friends (girls and boys) in high school and instead of hanging out in the family room they all wanted to crowd into either the kitchen with me or our tiny office and happily share all the gossip with me."

Experts say that knowing your kids' friends, and their parents, can have huge benefits. Not only will it bring you the peace of mind of knowing where your kid is and who they're with when they get to those crucial high school years, it has been shown to tangibly improve kids ability to create positive relationships and problem-solve collaboratively. Plus, it can actually be really fun! Kids and teens are the funniest, silliest, most interesting people on the planet. Having a house full of them is messy and loud, but it's always a good time.

One caveat: "don’t feel bad if your house isn’t the chosen house," one commenter reminds us. "Just be happy your kid has a good group of friends and be thankful they have somewhere safe to hang out."

This article originally appeared in February

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Mom shares 4-part secret to making her home "the house" for her son and his friends.

Con: They eat all your food. Pro: You'll learn to know and trust the people they spend their time with.

hi.im.amywhite/Instagram

I grew up in "the house." In high school, my home was the designated place where my friends gathered, sometimes in big groups, sometimes just my small core squad. My three best friends spent the night there almost every Friday and/or Saturday night for four years straight. We devoured Totino's frozen pizzas by the dozens, inhaled soda, and laid waste to any snacks or leftovers that were brave enough to exist somewhere in the kitchen. Not only that, but my house was pretty small — four teenage boys took up a lot of space in the living room (the whole thing) and made a lot of noise playing video games deep into the night. It must have driven my parents and older brothers crazy. It's a wonder anyone put up with it.

Or, so I thought when I was younger. When I became a parent myself, I started to understand a little more why my mom and dad were so willing to host and feed me and all my friends every single weekend. Why the outrageous grocery bill and constant chaos in the house was probably a small price to pay.

One mom has perfectly encapsulated why turning her home into "the house" for her son and his friends was so valuable and exactly how she did it.


Man showering, text "welcome to my crib," Dr. Squatch logo.Giphy

Amy White shared a reel on Instagram showing her college-aged son hanging in her dining room with a group of friends playing cards. The text overlay reads "What makes your kids high school friends want to come over, play cards & spend the night on their College Christmas Break". I think most parents can agree that we want our kids to keep coming home as long as possible! So how exactly did White pull this off?

Her explanation in the caption was spot-on.

First, White says that you have to start early. Become "the hang out house" in high school or even earlier. Then you have a better chance of holding onto the mantle into your kid's college years.

Next, be ready to stock the house with snacks and drinks, and don't make a fuss when your kid's friends have at it. "The kids knew we had food," she writes, "BUT they also knew I didn't care what they had. They knew they could eat anything in my pantry and fridge."

Third, and this is a big one, don't mistake being the "cool house" for being "the house." Some parents choose to allow their underage kids and friends to drink alcohol under their supervision, but you don't have to bend your morals and the law to lure the squad over to your place. Pizza and Coke is plenty to keep most teens happy. "We were not the house that served alcohol or even allowed the kids to bring alcohol to our house. And Guess What?? The kids still came and wanted to hang at our house!"

Fourth, always say Yes (as often as possible, anyway) when your kids want to have friends over. "They know my answer is 99% of the time YES," White writes. "You have to have your kids take the leadership of offering your home and if your home was 'open' to their friends in high school, they know it will be 'open' to their friends in college."

As a bonus tip, White pleas with parents not to worry about the mess having friends over makes. "I love a clean house and organization, BUT I would much rather have a crazy messy house for the kids where memories are made than a quiet house with nothing going on just to keep my house 'clean.'"

White writes, "It's worth being 'the house', so let go of control & get to know your kids friends." Commenters agreed.

White's video went viral to the tune of 8.5 million views and hundreds of comments. Parents shared their own experiences of what it's like being the default hang out house.

"Our house was the high school hangout for my son and friends... every weekend... I loved it!! Miss it now that they are all college graduates and have moved away. I love seeing them when they do come home for the holidays"

"A wise man once said don't be the house with the alcohol. Be the house with the food."


Teenagers will ravage your kitchenMichael Richards Eating GIFGiphy

"Amy 1000% agree!!! My house is full of teenagers on the weekends and I love every bit of it. Even though I wake up to a kitchen that looked much different from when I left it"

"we never allowed alcohol, drugs, bad language, always respectful, and guess what, our house was always the house where the kids hung out. First my daughter, then my son. Through grade school, high school, then when my kids went out of state for college their college friends would come spend a couple weeks during the summer. I always thought of it this way, I loved knowing my kids friends and, who knows, maybe some of those kids, especially during the younger years, just maybe those kids just needed an adult to care. Anyway, it was always fun to have them here!"

"It used to crack me up when my daughter would bring over a bunch of her friends (girls and boys) in high school and instead of hanging out in the family room they all wanted to crowd into either the kitchen with me or our tiny office and happily share all the gossip with me."

Experts say that knowing your kids' friends, and their parents, can have huge benefits. Not only will it bring you the peace of mind of knowing where your kid is and who they're with when they get to those crucial high school years, it has been shown to tangibly improve kids ability to create positive relationships and problem-solve collaboratively. Plus, it can actually be really fun! Kids and teens are the funniest, silliest, most interesting people on the planet. Having a house full of them is messy and loud, but it's always a good time.

Just "Don’t feel bad if your house isn’t the chosen house," one commenter reminds us. "Just be happy your kid has a good group of friends and be thankful they have somewhere safe to hang out."

This article originally appeared in February

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Doctor validates parents everywhere by explaining why our 8-year-olds are so moody

What is "Adrenarche" and why is it turning our kids into walking nightmares?

drcarmenbriner/Instagram & Canva Photos

A lot of parents have noticed kids that are "too young" for puberty are moody and emotional. A doctor explains.

As the father of a 9-year-old, let me try to put it gently: What in the absolute hell?! Somewhere along the way, our education and training as parents failed us. We knew having a baby would be hard due to a lack of sleep and all the crying. We know toddlers would leave us feeling touched out and exhausted from tantrums. We also know to brace ourselves for the emotional rollercoaster of puberty in the teen years. But...nobody told us about what happens at ages seven or eight.

A doctor on Instagram is raising eyebrows for teaching parents a hard truth: puberty starts much earlier than we've been told, and it's these behind-the-scenes changes in body chemistry that explain a lot.

inside out, puberty, teens, preteens, kids, children, parenting, parentsInside Out is a masterclass in the emotions of young kidsGiphy

Dr. Carmen Briner, a doctor specializing in hormones, puberty, and periods, took to her Instagram Reels to drop some knowledge.

"Wondering why your 7 or 8-year-old is suddenly so moody? Well, puberty starts before you might think, with the brain signaling the hypothalamus and pituitary glands to start secreting hormones, which happens before any visible physical changes of puberty start to take place," she says.

General knowledge tells us to expect a certain amount of teenage grumpiness when the body odor, growth spurts, and hair growth kicks in, but according to Briner, there's a secret "pre-puberty" phase called Adrenarche. This phase is when those puberty hormones surge behind the scenes, leading to "moodiness, irritability, or even sudden bursts of energy or excitement."

Most parents of a kid this age have seen it play out in real-time where a minor mistake or inconvenience leads to half an hour of hysterical tears. "These early hormonal shifts have a huge impact on their emotions, so you might notice new sensitivity or sudden mood swings or a newfound intensity in their feelings," Briner says.

Listen to her break down the science here:

Needless to say, frustrated parents of kids aged seven to ten are in the comments feeling incredibly seen. Boy and girl moms alike were relived to get an explanation for why parenting suddenly seemed so damn hard, right when it was "supposed" to be getting easier:

"All this plus acne for our 7 year old son. I wasn’t ready."

"My friend's 9yo is starting to act up and I told her it must be puberty starting. She said it's crazy, she's too small and she's just being petty on purpose. Thank you for this video, I might not be crazy after all"

"It’s been a nightmare since she was 8. She’s almost 12"

"My almost 8 year old girl has been a moody NIGHTMARE. Always nice to know its not my fault"

"So my 8 year old boy did not suddenly become possessed by a demon?"

"Save me" one tired mom joked.

peewee herman, help, kids, parenting, parents, moms, dads, pubertyParents of 7 and 8-year-olds desperately need help.Giphy

See? If your pre-puberty kid is, let's say, a handful, it's not just you. We're all going through this together, and it's not your fault. It's also not your child's fault. "They are not being difficult on purpose," Briner reminds us.

Experts say the best way to handle this volatile phase is to have empathetic but firm conversations when the heat of the moment has passed. There's no use hooting and hollering when your eight-year-old is in the middle of a hysterical meltdown. Just be there for them and support them as the feelings pass through. Then, when things are calm, discuss strategies for how you two can handle things better the next time around.

And don't worry—the mood swings won't last forever. They should settle down dramatically by the time your kid is 16 or so. Only eight more years—you've got this!

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