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People parading guns through grocery stores does not make them, or America, great

I love my country, but this is madness.

man with a handgun in a hip holster
Photo by seeetz on Unsplash

Americans feeling the need to carry a pistol to buy produce doesn't seem "great."

Last summer, my husband and I went to a grocery store in Sandpoint, Idaho, to pick up some ice cream. As we started walking down the frozen foods aisle, my husband grabbed my arm to stop me. He gestured to the couple ahead of us, and I saw what he saw—a handgun sticking out of the back of the man's pants.

Sandpoint is an idyllic, small mountain town on a pristine lake, where people come to stay for water sports in summer and skiing in the winter. It's also not far from the Wal-mart where a two-year-old had pulled a handgun out of his mom's purse and killed her with it several years ago.

We turned around and left the ice cream aisle, choosing to wait until the openly armed shopper left. And we were irritated. Seeing a man with a gun in a grocery aisle feels like living in a war zone—meanwhile, Sandpoint's violent crime rate is half the national average.

Twitter user "Cacky" shared a similar encounter in an Oklahoma Trader Joe's, with a photo of a man with a handgun in a holster on his hip at the salad display.

"I have no idea if this guy is stable or mentally ill," they wrote. "Is he bothered by the heat and have a short fuse today? What if someone makes him mad and he has poor impulse control? I'm not willing to risk my life for groceries, so I just left Trader Joe's."

I had the same thoughts in the ice cream aisle in Idaho. Not only do we not know this person's mental state, but with a gun so openly broadcast, what's to stop another unstable shopper from grabbing the gun from them? I'm sure these guys think they'd be quick to stop someone from doing so, but there are dozens of scenarios where that confrontation ends very badly for them, as well as for the innocent bystanders who just want to buy some freaking lettuce.

State laws vary when it comes to open or concealed carry, but this isn't an issue of legality. It's an issue of morality, responsibility, and sensibility. "Because I can" or "Because it's my right" is not a good enough reason to do something—not when you live in a community with other human beings. You might have a right to carry a gun in a grocery store, but that doesn't mean that it is the right thing to do.

Your fellow citizens matter. And I would guess that most people feel less safe, not more, when they see someone with a gun sticking out of their pants at the grocery store. You might argue that you carry for your protection or even the protection of those around you, but the "good guy with a gun" idea has been outed as a myth over and over again. That myth and the fairly consistent mass shootings in the U.S. are why most of us see a random person with a gun as a threat, not protection.

I would say, "We aren't living in the Wild West," but even in the West of the 1880s, guns being carried where lots of people gathered was known to be an issue. That's why Wyatt Earp prohibited people from carrying guns in Tombstone, making visitors turn in their guns when they came into town. Other Old West towns had similar laws, so it's not like grocery shopping with a gun is some longstanding, untouchable American tradition.

All I see when I see someone wearing a gun while running errands is fear and paranoia, which is a bad combination when mixed with a deadly weapon. Imagine if someone had a machete sticking out the back of their pants everywhere they went. How insane would that look? How is a loaded handgun any different, other than being able to kill more people more quickly and efficiently with it?

This element of American culture causes people in other developed nations to look at us in utter bafflement. Heck, it baffles me, and I grew up here. We have a gun problem in the U.S. That fact is indisputable. And it's not just because criminals have guns. States with higher gun ownership rates have higher gun death rates. States with stricter gun laws have lower gun death rates. Ideology aside, the math favors fewer guns and stricter laws, not the free-for-all gun culture gripping a decent portion of the country.

Additionally, how can we truly say we're a great nation if people feel like they can't leave the house unarmed? I can't wrap my brain around the mindset. What kind of warped version of "freedom" is that?

I've lived in rural, urban, and suburban areas, in all different regions of the country, and not once in my 46 years of life have I ever felt the need to carry a gun. Pepper spray? Sure, just in case. Self-defense knowledge? Absolutely. A loaded handgun? No. A loaded handgun sticking out of my pants so everyone knows I have it? Crimony, no.

And now we have states like Texas making it legal for people to carry guns without even having to have a license or permit. That means no background checks. No gun safety education. No training to assure that a person knows how to handle a firearm or screening to make sure that they aren't a homicidal maniac. It's pure madness.

People say that the rights guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution are what make America great, and that's true for the most part. But I would argue that the way some Americans choose to exercise their second amendment right does just the opposite. Imagine someone touting their first amendment right while standing on a street corner yelling, "I think every person I see might be out to kill me, and I don't care about the safety or comfort of other people! Yay, America!" Seems pretty kooky, right? I see no difference between that and a person packing heat to pick up some Ben & Jerry's.

Freedom that feels like fear isn't true freedom, and wearing a gun in a grocery store feels like nothing but fear to me. If you have to carry a gun everywhere you go, you're not free, no matter how much you talk about your constitutional rights.

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Now's your chance to help someone doing good in your community win $1000 towards the charity of their choice

Upworthy and P&G are back with the #ActsOfGood Awards.

Images provided by P&G

Three winners will be selected to receive $1000 donated to the charity of their choice.

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Doing good is its own reward, but sometimes recognizing these acts of kindness helps bring even more good into the world. That’s why we’re excited to partner with P&G again on the #ActsOfGood Awards.

The #ActsOfGood Awards recognize individuals who actively support their communities. It could be a rockstar volunteer, an amazing community leader, or someone who shows up for others in special ways.

Do you know someone in your community doing #ActsOfGood? Nominate them between April 24th-June 3rdhere.Three winners will receive $1,000 dedicated to the charity of their choice, plus their story will be highlighted on Upworthy’s social channels. And yes, it’s totally fine to nominate yourself!

We want to see the good work you’re doing and most of all, we want to help you make a difference.

While every good deed is meaningful, winners will be selected based on how well they reflect Upworthy and P&G’s commitment to do #ActsOfGood to help communities grow.

That means be on the lookout for individuals who:

Strengthen their community

Make a tangible and unique impact

Go above and beyond day-to-day work

The #ActsOfGood Awards are just one part of P&G’s larger mission to help communities around the world to grow. For generations, P&G has been a force for growth—making everyday products that people love and trust—while also being a force for good by giving back to the communities where we live, work, and serve consumers. This includes serving over 90,000 people affected by emergencies and disasters through the Tide Loads of Hope mobile laundry program and helping some of the millions of girls who miss school due to a lack of access to period products through the Always #EndPeriodPoverty initiative.

Visit upworthy.com/actsofgood and fill out the nomination form for a chance for you or someone you know to win. It takes less than ten minutes to help someone make an even bigger impact.

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Friendship

Little boy mistakes multimillionaire for homeless man and they end becoming good friends

The boy got to keep his dollar and gain a friend.

Screenshot WBRZ2|YouTube

Boy mistakes multimillionaire for homeless man forming friendship


Kids can be amazingly empathetic people, many of them doing what they can to help others in need unprompted. Homelessness has been an increasing issue across America and some kids have taken small steps to try to help when they can. Kids are seen doing things like volunteering at a soup kitchen with their family, handing out personal hygiene kits and even making sandwiches in their own kitchen to give out.

One kid has been noticing a growing homeless population and wanting to lend a helping hand, but every time he encountered someone without a home, he had no money. But Kelvin Ellis didn't stop the desire of wanting to help so the next time he came across a man that appeared homeless, he was excited that this time he had a dollar in his pocket.

Kelvin, who is 9-years-old spotted a houseless person standing in the corner of a restaurant and knew it was his chance. The boy approached the man who was standing with his eyes closed and held out the only money he had–a dollar bill. But to Kelvin's surprise, the man refused the kind gesture and instead bought him breakfast because it turned out the man wasn't homeless at all.

Matthew Busbice, the man standing in the corner, was simply doing his morning devotional prayer after having to leave his apartment in a rush when the building's fire alarm went off. The man stepped across the street to the coffee shop after it was confirmed to be a false alarm at his building. That's where Kelvin spotted him and attempted to give charity to Busbice, a multimillionaire.

Busbice launched and owns several brands and outdoor companies with his family. The multimillionaire also starred in two popular reality television shows with his family, Country Bucks on A&E and Wildgame Nation on Outdoor Channel. His money and niche fame didn't stop him from chatting with Kelvin over breakfast while the little boy's dad was at the eye doctor.

"You gave the only money in your pocket to me and thinking I was a homeless man, and that speaks volumes of your character and what this generation that's coming up. If their more like Kelvin and they're going to give, they're going to be filled with joy, they're going to be happy. They're going to change the community then change the parish and change the state, and they can change the world," Busbice tells WBRZ 2.

Kelvin didn't expect to make a friend that day, but he did. You can see how Busbice repaid the little boy's kind gesture below.

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Steve from 'Blues Clues’ shares an awkwardly funny story about his date with a Playboy model

It has a big twist.

via Super Festivals/Wikimedia Commons and The Moth

Steve Burns tells the story of his date with a model.

When Steve Burns hosted “Blue’s Clues,” where he solved household mysteries with an animated puppy on Nick Jr. from 1996 to 2002, he was one of the world's most recognizable faces on children’s TV. That level of notoriety comes with some perks and in 2000, a Playboy model sent him a glossy photo with a note asking him to invite her to dinner.

After some prodding from the animation staff, Burns took the model up on the offer. The date would become an experience he would never forget. It was filled with an incredible amount of awkwardness, crazy twists and balloon animals.

Burns shared the story in September 2010 at New York’s Players Club as part of a monologue titled “Fameishness” as part of “The Moth” storytelling forum.

The date started on the wrong foot when the model demanded to be picked up by a limo and Burns said he’d stop by her house in his Volkswagon. Things went downhill from there. Her first words to Burms were: "I thought you'd be taller."

Then, Burns saw a kid’s “Blues Clues” themed birthday party on their way to dinner and things really took a twist.

The Moth Presents Steve Burns: Fameishness

Since leaving "Blue’s Clues" in 2002, Burns has worked as a musician, writing and performing the theme song for "Young Sheldon." He has also done extensive voice work for big brands, including Snickers, Snapple, Lowes and McDonald's. Recently, he returned to the Blue’s Clues team, directing several episodes of “Blue's Clues & You!” and starring in the film “Blue's Big City Adventure.”

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Pop Culture

Steve Martin has the best response to hearing that his book was banned in Florida

He thinks it's for the best.

via Joella Marano/Wikimedia Commons

Steve Martin's 2000 novella, "Shopgirl."

Over the past few years, book bans have been happening in public libraries and schools across America. In the 2022-2023 school year alone, over 3,300 books were banned in 182 school districts in 37 states.

Most books that have been banned deal with LGBTQ and racial themes. According to a report from PEN America, Florida has been the most aggressive state regarding book bans, accounting for about 40% of those taken off the shelves.

On November 5, Collier County, Florida, announced that it was banning 300 books from its school libraries out of an effort to comply with state law HB 1069, which says books that depict or describe “sexual content” can be challenged for removal.

Among the books banned by the school district was “Shopgirl,” a novella by author Steve Martin published in 2000. Martin is also the star of the hit Hulu show, “Only Murders in the Building,” featuring Martin Short and Selena Gomez.

Upon hearing about his book being banned, Martin responded with his iconic wit on Instagram, saying, “So proud to have my book Shopgirl banned in Collier County, Florida! Now, people who want to read it will have to buy a copy!"

“Shopgirl” is a story about a young woman who works in a luxury department store and has an affair with a wealthy older man. It was made into a movie in 2005 starring Claire Danes and Martin. It’s believed the book was banned for its mild sexual content. On Amazon, the book is recommended for readers ages 13 and up.


This article originally appeared on 11.11.23

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Internet

Woman's video exposes the shockingly different ways Google describes 'manly' and 'womanly'

Yes, this is what Google really says.

Representative photos by Katya Wolf and Liam Moore via Canva

Women petition Google to change results for 'womanly' synonyms

Many times biases are an unconscious thing which can be partially formed due to media and algorithm exposure. Since people are the ones in charge of creating media and algorithm codes, their own biases creep in unintentionally. Carmen Mejia recently posted a video exposing a pretty blatant bias on Google.

The content creator shared a skit to Instagram where she switches between playing the role of the mom, son and daughter. In the beginning of the skit, the boy goes to his mom and asks what it means to be "manly." Mejia asks Google and is immediately met with an encouraging list of synonyms to describe what it means to be manly.

Words like brave, strong, and adventurous came up right away, but the same wasn't true when she asked Google to describe "womanly." This time the search engine returned a list of words that described physical attributes like, curvaceous, voluptuous, busty and thick. It was painfully obvious that gender based bias had made its way into the search engine's algorithm and women in the comments were having none of that.

People began leaving comments on Mejia's video revealing that after her video they went to Google to report the list. When reporting content to the search engine, they give you an option to include a feedback note, which is where the frustrated women vented their concerns.

"I reported the words and sent a comment, i know it's not much but if we all do this, maybe it'll change," one person writes.

"I just googled it. There is not one physical characteristic described under the 'manly' synonyms, while there is not one NON-physical characteristic under the 'womanly' synonyms. This is really sad," another wrote.

Mejia tells Upworthy how the idea came about, "I actually saw a screenshot of the two lists floating around the internet and figured more people need to see it. I created this video to spread awareness around the topic and to hopefully inspire change. As well as build a sense of community amongst women who face the same challenges everyday, it’s not a favorable situation…but it’s always nice to know that you’re not alone."

Inspiring change is not only what it did, the video actually created change thanks to all the reporting women did. It was something that was completely unexpected by Mejia.

In the comments of her post, Mejia updated her followers just days later revealing that Google took it all down. According to another commenters, the synonyms for manly still shows up but the ones for womanly are completely gone. This change is only effective on Google, Oxford and other thesaurus cites probably have a much longer process to review and remove problematic content. No worries though, the ladies in the comments are still tagging and writing the dictionary and thesaurus powers that be to get an updated list not focused on women's bodies.

Meijia explains, "Although my intention was to inspire change, i did not expect it to receive the amount of petitioning it did. So many women were tagging Google and Oxford and mentioning how they left feedback straight away.It was such a powerful thing to see."

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Democracy

The four magic phrases to use when you’re stopped by the cops

Everyone should know their rights.

via Flex Your Rights/YouTube

How to speak to a police officer.

Whether it's a traffic stop that turns into "We smell something in your car" or a "driving while black" situation, you have rights when you're pulled over, and it's for the best if you actually use them.

So how does this work, anyway?

Well, you have rights when you're pulled over. These have been established via case law, and ultimately, some stem from the Constitution itself. In order, here are the magic phrases, along with some graphics to help you remember.

1. "Am I free to go?”

In any situation involving the police, you can ask this question. Some people ask it slightly differently: "Am I being detained?"—which is a version of the same question. Basically, if they've got nothing on you, they have to let you go. If they answer no to that question, you are in fact not free to go. In that case, you are suspected of doing something, and it's their job to try to get you to admit to it or to say a bit too much and incriminate yourself.

2. "I do not consent to any searches.”

One of the trickiest things that some law enforcement folks try is to talk you into letting them search your vehicle—or house, for that matter. "So if you haven't done anything, then you're ok with us searching your car … right? I mean, if you're innocent. We'll go easier on you if you let us." Do NOT give up your rights that easily. Are you certain your buddy didn't leave a bag of weed in the glove box? Are you sure your boyfriend took his target pistol out of the trunk after he went to practice shooting the other day? Are you absolutely certain that the body in your trunk was removed and buried in that farm fiel … whoops. Did I say that last one out loud?! The point is, don't give up your rights easily. And believe me, cops are gooooood at trying to play psychological games. Which leads to #3.

3. "I want to remain silent.”

You have that right, and if things start getting thick, you need to use it. "We clocked you going 60 in a 50, but when you opened your window to give us your license, we smelled marijuana." The correct answer to something like this is, "I want to remain silent." The temptation is to say, "Yeah, my buddy and I smoked in my car this morning but I wasn't driving, blah blah blah"—but then you're already nailed. Time for them to get the dogs and search. Congratulations, you're on your way to the pokey for the night.

4. "I want a lawyer.”

If you've reach this particular point, then you're in deep doodoo anyway, so go ahead and ask for one, and say nothing until he or she arrives. Remember these four things. It will be hard in the moment, with your adrenaline pumping, your freedom in question, and when you're possibly in physical danger, depending on the cops involved and your skin color.

"Am I free to go?"

"I do not consent to any searches."

"I want to remain silent."

"I want a lawyer."

Perhaps a word involving the first letter of the four statements will help you remember: FoSSiL (Free, Searches, Silent, Lawyer)

Or maybe a mnemonic:

— Fiscal Suns Scramble Lives

— Fresh Sushi Smell Lemons

— Flexible Straws Sell Lobsters

— Free Subjects Steam Lobsters

The clip below is a shortened version of a much longer one that explains your rights, detailing what you can and cannot do in these situations.

This article was written by Brandon Weber and originally appeared on 09.12.17


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