This couple could have gone on a honeymoon. They transformed their neighborhood instead.
When Maureen and Jim Nelis got married in January 2018, they had to decide what they'd do for a honeymoon.
For the couple from Derry, Ireland, the choice was a little different than for most. Both of them had been married and widowed, so they decided to forego a honeymoon completely and bring the party somewhere closer to home, where it would have a lasting impact.
Maureen and Jim Nelis in front of their flowers. All photos courtesy of Anne McGrotty.
Instead of traveling, the couple covered their street in beautiful flowers. And then the neighbors got involved.
Maureen has lived on Harding Street for more than 30 years, and she's had a long-standing tradition of decorating the Spanish steps that can be found there. When Jim moved in with her, they added his plants to the decoration, livening the street with color.
But they had more plants than space to decorate. So, the BBC reports, they started giving plants away to the people who were most special to them. Then, other neighbors asked if they could be given some plants too. And that's when the Nelises made their decision.
"Instead of going some place to look at something beautiful, and then come home and still not have any flowers here, we forgot about the honeymoon and put the money back into the neighborhood," Maureen told the BBC.
So: no more trip to Florence. The couple started planting instead.
One of the window boxes Maureen and Jim gifted to the community.
Maureen and Jim gifted their entire neighborhood with fresh blooms. And it's changed everything.
Almost as soon as they'd made a decision to give everyone in their vicinity window boxes, hanging flowers, and other decorations, neighbors started congregating to look at each other's flowers and share tips on keeping them thriving with each other.
Anne McGrotty, a resident who lives down the street, told Upworthy that it's really changed the way neighbors connect.
"The flowers [have] brought the neighbors closer together," she writes in an email. "They chat while out watering their flowers and have even got to know each other better. Some didn't know each other before this. It has given a sense of pride to the street."
Neighbors gathered on the Spanish steps on Harding Street.
Maureen said that she never expected that the flowers would make such a difference or receive such attention.
And though she would likely be reluctant to say this is the beginning of a movement — she just wanted to do something nice for her neighborhood! — how great would it be if more and more of us focused outward when it came to considering how to spend our leisure time?
Research shows that creating green spaces in communal spaces improves health, reduces crime, and brings people of all backgrounds together. What more could one hope for from a honeymoon?
Maureen and Jim Nelis — they know how to get things started right.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."