The performances deserve five stars.
Online reviews live in a paradoxical world of their own. Their credibility is questionable at best—with positive reviews being either incentivized (if not downright fake) and negative ones being, let’s face it, kind of bonkers. And yet, despite their blatant flaws, a large number of people still use them to influence their purchases.
One thing can be said of negative reviews however: They can be endlessly entertaining.
You might remember seeing actors “performing” impassioned, dramatic (and therefore hilarious) readings of one-star Yelp reviews a few years ago. These videos by "Gotta Kid to Feed" went viral back in 2015, and have recently been resurfacing once again. Why? Because they’re never not funny.
Take this one-star review of Dunkin' Donuts read by actress Therese Plummer, for example. Plummer is a seasoned voiceover actress and lends her talents well in this parody to poke fun at just how intense—and maybe borderline psychotic—some reviews can be.
Unlike the scathing review of Dunkin' Donuts, comments that flooded this video were overwhelmingly positive.
“I never found a 1 star yelp review so riveting!! “ one person wrote.
Another added, “Jesus, there is serious anger in her eyes, this woman is amazing.”
Here’s another one for O’Learys Restaurant in Saint Louis, Missouri, performed by actor Joe Plummer (oddly enough, I don’t think the two Plummer actors are related).
Joe’s character graciously gave a three-star review for the restaurant, since the food was “fresh.” It was the stabbing he didn’t care for.
Yes, he would “consider” coming back despite the stabbing. It’s like Nicole Kidman says at the beginning of every movie at AMC now, “heartbreak feels good in a place like this.” O’Leary’s was just that good.
Here’s another gem of a bad review, this time for San Francisco’s Presidio Cafe. Recognize that face? It’s actress Alysia Reiner from “Orange Is the New Black,” “Blue Bloods” and “Ms. Marvel.”
Apparently Reiner’s character “enjoyed their lunch” at the cafe, but disaster struck after a wayward bird attacked her on her way to the parking lot. Clearly the cafe’s fault.
“The management shirked their duties by not helping me more,” Reiner laments woefully. You can almost catch a single, dignified tear in her eye. She will NOT be dining there. Any. More.
“I know how she feels one time I stepped in a puddle and the nearest store refused to buy me new shoes,” one person joked.
“I guess there's a good reason Hitchcock's ‘The Birds’ takes place in San Francisco,” quipped another.
Further proof that this art form will never go out of style, but merely evolve for modern times: a five-part TikTok series in which Britt, a woman who goes by the username @the.localhedgewitch, brilliantly recreates a negative review from 10 years ago for Bath & Body Works has been going viral online.
@the.localhedgewitch I knew that one day this would somehow come in handy #bathandbodyworks♬ original sound - Britt
Rather than performing a dramatic reading, Britt recites the review alongside the original video while perfectly capturing every single tiny gesture and mannerism. Seriously, her method should be taught in acting classes.OK, so maybe online reviews aren’t exactly trustworthy. But at least we can have a good laugh at humanity because of them.