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9 of the craziest internet trends that are long forgotten

RIP, custom cursors.

2000s internet trends, early internet trends, ask reddit

Somewhere out there, a Neopet is still hungry.

As an elder millennial, I remember when the internet was completely uncharted territory. So many new things to discover and try out, with seemingly zero rules. The World Wide Web truly was the Wild Wild West, and we were its brave internet explorers.

With the ferocious speed at which information travels through social media today, we’ve become accustomed to internet trends simply coming and going. So much so that we’ve probably forgotten a few gems that were once considered the “it” thing.

Remember the unparalleled joys of making your Neopet happy? Or the instant self-esteem boost you’d get upon seeing that website hit counter go up on the bottom corner of your virtual masterpiece? (Remember, we didn’t have “likes” to lean on during this dark period.) These are just a few relics of a not-so-distant past—once cherished, but now buried in antiquity.

One Reddit user recently asked: “What’s something the internet was crazy about but is now forgotten?” and people’s answers were a wild nostalgia ride. Use this list for a stroll down memory lane, or to confound a Gen Z friend. Either way, it’s a bit of idle fun—something the internet will always be a good source for.

Without further ado, here are 9 of the weirdest internet trends no one remembers:


1. Downloading custom cursor effects for your computer

via GIPHY

Ah yes, who wants to see a boring arrow move around their screen when they can pretend to wave fairy dust around? Or rainbows, or snowflakes, or bubbles, for that matter. There really was something magically cathartic about animated cursors. Sure they were riddled with bugs, but sometimes that’s the price you pay for a little whimsy, right?

“I gave my family computer so many viruses back in the '00s trying to click things with a lightsaber.” –@TW1103

2. Pre-Google search engines

before google, alternative search engines

One engine to search them all....

Giphy

Wow, hard to imagine a time when googling wasn’t an actual word. Believe it or not, kids, it used to be anything goes when looking up obscure movie trivia or long lost recipes.

Each search engine site had its own personality—Alta Vista chose a no frills approach, Dogpile offered a (never funny) joke of the day, and Ask Jeeves featured a savvy valet based on a character in a novel series by P.G. Wodehouse, ready to quench all curiosities that came in the form of a question.

Many of these separate quirks were quite revolutionary and, though eventually swallowed up by Google’s widespread success, have clearly inspired much of its overall format. Sure, other search engines do still exist, but I think we can all agree that Google reigns supreme.

3. AOL Instant Messenger (AIM)

via GIPHY

Hulu’s “PEN15,” which centers around two middle schoolers in the early 2000s, nailed everything about AOL chat rooms with accuracy—from the cringeworthy screen names, to the melodramatic away messages, to the obnoxious login sound that had a Pavlovian effect on teens, bringing their eyes involuntarily to the screen. It’s pure gold.

Of course, there are some aspects of AIM that might be best forgotten—primarily the dangerous way in which teenagers were easily exploited.

“I was 14 but playing a 17 year old because 17 was very “grown up” to me, but I didn’t feel it was enough of an age gap for the lie to be exposed.” –@KayleighJK

"I was 13 pretending I was 18 on AOL chat rooms. I was exposed to too much at a young age. Imagine if I said my actual age" –@Chickeneggsandlegs

4. Flash games

early internet games

Got Flash?

Giphy

Flash games—often free, super easy to play, and normally only required Adobe Flash. According to Comic Book Resources (CBR), one flash game in particular called “Club Penguin” was so well loved that when it shut down in 2017, “thousands of players logged on for the game's final moments, doing everything they could do in game before it was gone forever.”

5. Smart guestbooks

early internet trends

This was a nice one, for sure.

Giphy

Pretty straightforward, and a pretty sweet way to connect with people around the world. Visitors from all over could digitally “sign” and leave a personal message, usually things like “Hi I’m so-and-so and I really enjoyed your website, was a pleasure to browse.” See now nice that was? Not exactly like the aggressive Yelp reviews we’ve become accustomed to.

6. GeoCities

geocities

So few pixels, so little time.

Giphy

Into science fiction and fantasy? Head on over to “Area51.” More of a sports fan? Click on “Colosseum.” GeoCities offered virtual neighborhoods based on specific interests, all on sites filled with flashy graphics and some hot new thing called GIFs. This was a time when enthusiasm for the internet as a community-building and self-expression space was at an all-time high, even if looking back the execution was a tad rudimentary.

Though the days of GeoCities are gone, some remnants of its glory remain, like this.

7. Webrings

retro internet

In the B.A. (Before Algorithm) era.

Giphy

As MIC contributor Brittany Vincent so astutely put it, “Webrings are a forgotten antiquity of the past, a solution created to resolve a problem that no longer exists.” Back when websites were both expensive and limited—not to mention search engines hadn’t hit their stride—having a little box on the bottom of a site you were already on, one that revealed even more magical places you could visit based on the site you were currently on … well, that was the ultimate luxury.

“Oh man, if you stumbled upon* a web ring that you were interested in it was like gold. Bookmark! Not to be confused with StumbleUpon, that was later and also magical.” –DanAykroydFanClub

Which brings us to…

8. StumbleUpon

ask reddit

Who knows where you'll stumble?

Giphy

Back in the day, the internet wasn’t such an all-knowing entity feeding off of algorithms. Endless exploring through obscurity was part of the fun. No better example of this exists than StumbleUpon, where visitors would click a button and land somewhere else at complete random. It was a game of internet roulette. And it was thrilling.

9. Poking on Facebook

early internet trends

Hey...still here...

Giphy

Sometimes, internet imitates life. This was the case with Facebook’s “poke” feature, where users could click a button to remind another user of their existence. Was it rather pointless? Yes. Was it intrusive? Also yes. Regardless, it was all the rage.

Like many of Facebook's features, “pokes” could disappear in the barrage of notifications, which could result in less than ideal realizations.

“I had a friend that poked me and I never noticed the notification. He died. I now have this unreturned poke as a reminder that I’ll never be able to poke them back.” –@Klaus0225

internet trends

It's web surfin' time!

Giphy

Sure, today’s technology is faster, more efficient and far reaching, but we’ll always have a spot in our hearts for the early internet’s wonky charm. Sort of like those old yearbook photos…

True

Food banks are a community staple for millions of Americans. Not only do they provide nutritional assistance to low-income families, they’re also often one of the few places where people can get non-food essentials like diapers, toiletries, paper towels, clothing and more. For the 44 million people in the United States facing food insecurity, pantries can literally be a lifeline.

But that lifeline is at risk. Food pantries rely on donations, both from individuals and government programs, to stay stocked. Rising poverty levels and budget cuts mean that food pantries sometimes can’t meet the demands of their communities—and as a result, families go without.

No person should struggle for basic needs—which is why Land O’Lakes is teaming up with Clove in the name of comfort ahead of the 2025 holiday season.

Comfort, meet comfort.

A partnership between a farmer-owned cooperative and a modern footwear brand might seem like an unusual pairing. But the reality is that both organizations provide things that are enjoyable and much needed for American families.

You might be surprised to learn, for example, that dairy is one of the most requested but least-donated items at food banks around the nation. From a nutritional lens, dairy is a source of high-quality protein that provides 3 of 4 nutrients—calcium, potassium and vitamin D—that low-income households are at risk of missing from their diets.

But on a larger scale, dairy provides comfort. Items like butter, milk and cream are in high demand, particularly around the end of the year since so many families use these items for baking holiday treats. And while shoes can be stylish gifts, they’re also a basic necessity for hardworking frontline workers who provide care for others and spend hours on their feet. In fact, 96 million people in the U.S. spend their work shift standing.

"We are so excited to collaborate with Clove Shoes and take a moment to celebrate the color of the moment, but also our everyday favorite, butter yellow," said Heather Anfang, president of Land O'Lakes Dairy Foods. "As a company who shares our values of community, hard work and comfort, we are thrilled for the launch of their shoe but also for our shared donation to those in need in an important area for our two brands in Philadelphia."

Meaningful giving when people need it most

Together, the organizations have donated dozens of sneakers and more than 3,750 pounds of butter to Philabundance, one of the largest food banks in Philadelphia and part of Feeding America’s nationwide network of food banks, pantries, and meal programs. As they team up to donate needed supplies, they’re also helping families feel nourished—inside and out—ahead of the cold winter months.

"As a Philadelphia-based brand, we’re proud to give back to the community we call home—nourishing our city and supporting those who care every day," shares Jordyn Amoroso, Co-founder and CBO. Clove has also gifted 88 shoes to the students enrolled at Philabundance Community Kitchen: a free, life-changing workforce development program run by Philabundance.

At a time when so many are stretched thin and families are moving into the holiday season facing food insecurity, collaborations like these can provide an unexpected value—a chance to revitalize local communities, to nourish families, and show how comfort can take many different forms.

Learn more about this unexpected partnership here.

Health

12 photos of women before and after an orgasm shines a new light on women's sexual wellness

"We hope that everyone viewing this project will feel more confident about their bodies and sexuality."

Imagine if this kind of joy had a bigger place in the world.

You might recall Marcos Alberti's mega-viral "3 Glasses" project from 2016, in which he photographed people after they had consumed one, two, and then three glasses of wine. The series was impactful in part because it showed the physical transformation that comes from being relaxed after some wine. That, and it touched on a common curiosity. Haven’t we all wondered if we look as different as we feel after getting a little tipsy? (Spoiler alert: the answer is yes.)

Using a very similar format to “3 Glasses,” as well as the elements of lightheartedness, novelty, and rawness that made it so special, Alberti utilizes his photography to delve into a topic much less discussed: women’s sexual wellness.

The concept is simple: photograph women before, during, and after an orgasm. You can see why he calls this the “O” project.

Despite the subject matter, Alberti assures viewers that the intention wasn’t to be explicit, or even erotic, for that matter. The 20+ women who participated, of varying ethnicities and varying levels of sexually liberated versus conservative countries of origin, were completely covered below the waist while using personal massagers.

“The underlying message: all women deserve to be in control of their sexuality, no matter their background. Women should be free to be empowered by–and have a little fun with–their sexuality,” Alberti wrote on his website.

Similarly, Fan Yang, Global Brand Manager of Smile Makers (a sexual wellbeing brand that partnered with Alberti for this project) noted that the goal was to break through stigma and show female pleasure in a positive, healthy light. The hope is that not only society normalizes female pleasure, but that women themselves connect to their sexuality without “shame and secrecy.”

Given that all the women who participated were “in awe” seeing themselves “glowing and radiant” in their final photo, as Yang put it, it feels safe to say mission: accomplished.

Take a look:

marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com

marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com

marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com

marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com

In a video posted to YouTube, we get a behind-the-scenes look at Alberti’s process. Welcoming the models in, setting up his camera behind a curtain for privacy, talking them through the process, making them feel safe and comfortable, etc.

We also get to see the “awe” that Yang spoke of. It’s palpable.

“Initially, I was still apprehensive… [with] a lot of worry. And this one [referring to the final image] is like “Ha! Life is beautiful!” one woman shared, grinning ear-to-ear.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

We can talk ad nauseam about how women’s pleasure shouldn’t be a taboo subject, about how it’s a natural, vital part of her overall wellbeing, how it can lead to better mood, heart health, immune function, sleep, intimacy, self-esteem…yadda, yadda yadda…but there’s nothing like actually witnessing its semi-miraculous powers firsthand. It’s one of the things that make photography so powerful. We feel something raw and honest on a visceral level, so that we can THEN talk about it with empathy and understanding. It’s clear that Alberti knows this on a deep level and is using that knowledge for something truly good.

Be sure to follow Alberti (@marcos_alberti ) on Instagram to keep up-to-date with all his work.





Joy

5 ways people are going "All In" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples this week.

True

When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? Some people might think of a super elaborate halloween costume, and others might think of passionate hobbies, like competitive birdwatching. Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Going “all in” means doing something with total commitment—literally giving it your “all” and going completely over the top. No second guessing, no holding back—just full-throttle enthusiasm with some creativity and flair thrown in. That’s how we get those viral internet moments we can’t stop watching.

Libraries run by…pranksters?

Lately, libraries have been going “all in” with their promotional content. You would think that a marketing campaign for a library would simply be educational or sentimental, but you’d be wrong. The latest trend for libraries: humor and pranks. It’s not just one library going all in on silliness, it’s a bunch of them. Read more about the libraries that are pulling out all the stops to get people to come by in the latest Upworthy article, here!

A Diva who goes All In

I thought I was the only person who was obsessed with the song “Where the Hell is My Husband?” by the singer RAYE, but after seeing this video by Benji James, I realized it was very wrong. Benji is someone who is not afraid to go ALL IN. He sang on stage with a recording of back-up dancers behind him (who were also him). Plus, a full suit that could have been worn by Elton John and a bedazzled microphone. To top it all off, at the end of the performance Benji announced, “I’m getting married next month!” According to Benji’s TikTok bio, he’s a Sparkling Sequin Diva by day and a Synth Pop Songwriter by night. This is someone who clearly goes All In…and I want more!

All In on Singles


You might’ve heard of Kristen Bell’s wildly popular show “Nobody Wants This,” where she plays Joanne, a snarky LA podcaster, who falls in love with Noah, a young “hot” rabbi (played by Adam Brody). Some fans are going All In on getting ready for Season 2, which is released on Netflix on October 23. The snack bar company, All In Food, is prepping people for their watch parties by releasing a bingo card, where fans can fill out the most iconic character moments as they occur. Another thing All In Food goes all in on? Free bars. You can get the best sweet treat at Starbucks and Sprouts. Try one from the Sprouts “New For You Destination” for free today!

One too many poppy seeds

@llaurenaikenn

@Costco Wholesale pls sponsor her, she’s obviously a huge fan of your almond poppy seed muffins 🙂‍↔️@Rylyn

I feel this one on a personal level. There’s something about the texture of poppy seeds that are so addictive. This girl went all in on poppy seed muffins, so much so they showed up on her school mandated drug test. The addiction is real, but cannot be that serious. One comment said “I can’t believe its [sic] 2025 and they still haven’t figured out how to differentiate poppy seeds from opium in a drug test…” and honestly, that’s a valid thought.

Nor'easter causes the cinematic moment of the year

Mariah Carey might be the queen of going all in: her song “My All” is the perfect example of passion, committing to the bit and raw, pure emotion. If not for Mariah Carey, we would be missing out on a lot more incredible lip-syncing videos (and certainly would be missing an iconic Christmas song).

On the East Coast this last week, states ranging from the Carolinas to Massachusetts experienced extreme weather, what meteorologists call a “Nor’Easter”. Thanks to Mariah Carey’s “My All” and the intense wind and rain, Aldrin may have given us the cinematic masterpiece of the year.

But, some might say this video (or this one!) is giving it a run for its money. One thing's for sure, Mariah Carey and all these lip-syncers are going All In, and we're all for it.

Snag your free (!!) snack bar here while this deal lasts. Just pick up a bar at Sprouts and text a pic ofv your receipt to get it for free. Enoy!

Can you solve this "Wheel of Fortune" puzzle?

Watching a game show from the comfort of home is easy. Being on one is a totally different ball game. The lights, the cameras, the pressure. It's enough to make anyone's brain freeze up. And is there any game show that allows contestants to royally embarrass themselves on national TV quite like Wheel of Fortune? There’s always someone going viral for taking a big swing and missing on a phrase that seemed pretty apparent to the casual viewer. And when you take a big loss on a WOF word puzzle, there are a lot of folks shaking their heads at home. More than 8 million people watch the game show every night. Yikes.

One rather notorious of the wheel was Gishma Tabari from Encino, California, whose fantasy-inspired whiff of a common phrase back in 2023 earned her a lot of groans and some support from those who thought her imagination was inspiring. The 3-word puzzle read: “TH _ _ RITI _ S _ GR _ E,” and Tabari offered the answer, “The British Ogre.” The guess surprised host Pat Sajak, who responded, "Uh, no.” Tabari must have missed that there was a space between the R and the E in the puzzle, so ogre would have had to be spelled with 2 Rs.

She also probably wasn’t aware that England isn’t a place known for its ogres. The correct answer was: “The Critics Agree.”

The answer inspired a lot of activity on X, where people couldn’t believe someone could come up with such a fanciful answer to a puzzle with such a straightforward solution.







One person even created a lovely image of what could be the British Ogre.

Although…not everyone had a problem with the guess.

"OK, the puzzle was clearly THE CRITICS AGREE but to be honest I prefer THE BRITISH OGRE because the puzzles could use some more wacky originality sometimes.#WheelOfFortune"— Pasha Paterson (@zer0bandwidth) December 13, 2023

On the bright side, the incorrect guess is an opportunity for the world to learn that ogres aren’t a significant part of English folklore. Sure, there are characters in English myths and legends that have ogre-like qualities, such as Grendel from "Beowulf," the monstrous creature that terrorizes the mead hall of King Hrothgar. There’s also the Boggart, a mischievous spirit much like a hobgoblin and trolls, which appear in some English tales although they originate in Scandinavia.

If you’re looking for ogres in Europe, France is the best place to go.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The word ogre is of French descent and comes from the name of the Etruscan god of the underworld, Orcus. Orcus is a large, ugly, bearded giant who enjoys consuming human flesh. Ogres are primarily known for eating children, which they believe will give them eternal life.

As for Wheel of Fortune, the show will undergo significant changes over the next few years. The show’s host, Pat Sajak, 76, stepped down from the show at the end of the 2024 season after hosting it for 41 years. In September 2024, radio host and “American Idol” emcee Ryan Seacrest took over the hosting spot.

Although, it was just announced that Sajak would be making a special guest appearance on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune, performing what he called "Final Spin."

And in case you're wondering how Tabari is doing: on her Instagram she wears her "Wheel of Fortune Flub Girl" title with pride, declaring she is "British Ogre for life."

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

Photo Credit: https://www.canva.com/photos

A Westie dog. A piano.

Meet Bradford. He's only 13 years old, and yet his grasp of music is savant-level distinguished. He is drawn to the most complex piano chords, particularly loving jazz of all kinds. He's extremely close to his family and especially supportive of his mom and her musical talents.

I might have buried the lede here—Bradford is actually a gorgeous, tiny dog.

For years, classically trained jazz singer and pianist Kara Baldus-Mehrmann (who often simply uses the last name Baldus) has been sharing clips of herself playing piano with Bradford on her lap in her home in the St. Louis area. A Westie mix, Bradford listens intently—his eyes closed tight, swaying to the songs when he's particularly moved. Sometimes when he's so deeply into the notes, he bounces along with them and buries his face into Baldus's chest.


Many agree that the duo are the perfect antidote to doom-scrolling. On Instagram alone, Baldus has over half a million followers who enjoy her thousands of posts.

But just recently, she went extra viral when the pair appeared on ABC News, where anchor Danny New describes Bradford as the "world's greatest 'vibe-ologist.'" Baldus explains, "He seems to react in real time to certain elements of the music, which is just wild." When asked, "How would you explain the squinting?" Baldus, while holding Bradford lovingly in her arms, answers, "Oh my gosh. The squinting is when he really just starts to feel the music."

Kara Baldus-Mehrmann and her dog Bradford groove to the music. www.youtube.com, ABC News

She further explains it all began during the 2020 pandemic, when she and her husband were home most of the time. "He would just stay there during my lessons, sit on my lap, and he would sit there for hours and hours." They then cut to a clip (which they mention was the first ever posted) of Bradford resting his tiny head on the piano while Baldus lightly played. He was so moved by the music, "he couldn't even lift his chin," New gleefully reports.

It's also noted, "For the record, Bradford is not the first to love a good piano nap. I brought you a story back in June about a cat in Croatia named Zlatko, who simply cannot stay awake when his parents start playing."

Cat in Croatia really enjoys the piano. www.youtube.com, WQAD News 8

ABC News also points out that celebrities have begun to take notice of Bradford's grooving. "Five-time Grammy Award winner SZA commenting in all caps, 'I LOVE BRADFORD.'" (Adding to that, Pixar Studios, Questlove, and many other famous accounts have loved and commented on the coolness of this super soulful canine.)

The news report also points out that Bradford still loves running in the park, but on especially anxious days, "like say in a half-hour TV interview…" They leave us hanging, while showing Baldus ask Bradford if he's doing alright. She then begins to play and he immediately settles into her groove. New leaves us with the knowledge that while "jazz does appear to be Bradford's favorite, he does react well to pop and soothing classical music, as well."

As one might imagine, the comments over the years are incredibly warm and supportive. One writes, "My heart bursts when I watch Bradford. He is such a beautiful soul." Another notices how much love Bradford has for his mom. "My goodness how he looks at you. This is what the world needs — thanks for sharing your beautiful relationship."

The link between dogs and music has been studied in great depth. I can personally attest that my hound dog mutt is especially partial to Americana folk music, particularly when the harmonica kicks in.

In a piece for Mental Floss, staff writer CaLea Johnson shares that yes, dogs do indeed respond to music, writing, "Researchers from the Sydney School of Veterinary Science examined nine studies of the effect of music on dogs in 2020. Their findings, published in the journal Animals, indicated that the classical genre soothed canines, as the pups exhibited calmer behaviors (i.e., lying down, resting, sitting, etc.) while the music played."

There are even playlists meant especially for anxious dogs with separation anxiety. (These don't usually include hard rock or metal, however.)

As for Bradford, whether it's being close to his "person" or just genuinely loving jazz, he's bringing delight to the world in a time where it's much needed. Groove on, little man.


This study is for the birds, literally.

Turns out, humans might not be the only species with brand loyalty. According to a new study, birds are just as particular about where they…well, leave their mark.

The study, from Alan’s Factory Outlet, set out to answer a question every car owner has quietly wondered: Do birds actually prefer certain cars to poop on?

After surveying 1,000 drivers, the answer was a resounding yes. And while there are a few caveats to this study, it still makes for some interesting conversation. Maybe not dinner party conversation, but conversation nonetheless.

Perhaps even more importantly—it stumbled on a surprisingly fascinating mix of biology, color theory, and bird behavior.

First off, the findings confirmed that a bird’s ability to “detect ultraviolet (UV) light” and “heightened vision” makes certain car colors stand out more in their environment. In particular, vehicles with “eye-catching” shades like brown, red, and black are often “prime targets” for getting blessed.

Here are the most poop-worthy colors:

  1. Brown
  2. Red
  3. Black
  4. Yellow/Orange
  5. Blue
  6. White
  7. Silver/Gray

As the site Carbuzz mentioned, the caveat to note here is that the results came from self-reporting. Since “bird mess doesn’t show up quite as easily” on lighter colored cars, the results could be skewed due to a bit of cam-poo-flage.

Regardless, the study found that the longer birds hang around a car, no matter the color, the more likely accidents are to happen.

Furthermore, shiny cars and reflective mirrors can also incite some damage since birds often mistake their own reflections for rivals, especially during mating season, and attack them repeatedly.

And when it comes to brands, Ram trucks, Jeeps, and Chevrolets top the list of bird favorites. Teslas and Audis, meanwhile, appear to be in the “less splattered” club (for now).

Most poop-on-able car brands, according to birds:

  1. Ram
  2. Jeep
  3. Chevrolet
  4. Nissan
  5. Dodge
  6. Kia
  7. Tesla
  8. Audi
  9. Ford
  10. Subaru

birds, pigeons, bird poop on car, cars, best cars, clean vehicle car wash, bird studies, keeping car clean Clip from Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds' media3.giphy.com

Interestingly, the roundup potentially points to something car folks will appreciate: size does, in fact, matter. As Carbuzz put it, the top choices tended to be pickup trucks, “which are bigger, meaning more surface area to poop on.” Cause who wants a tiny toilet? No one, that’s who.

Lastly, the results might be funny, but the impact isn’t always a laughing matter. The survey noted that nearly one in four Americans spend over $500 each year on car washes and repairs due to bird droppings. Fifty-eight percent even said their car has been pooped on more than once in the same day. That’s enough to make anyone feel personally victimized by nature.

While it might feel like an attack on human dignity, birds aren’t plotting against our paint jobs. They’re simply reacting to a landscape in the only way they know how. They can’t help it if they’re nature’s Jackson Pollocks, and our cars are irresistible canvases.

All you can really do is protect your finish, park under a covered area (not trees though!), and hope for the best. And next time you’re purchasing a new vehicle, consider a boring color.