Someone wrote a coronavirus parody of the Bare Naked Ladies' hit 'One Week' and it's perfect

Well-written parodies are gold, but they can be hard to come by. Everyone and their at-risk-for-coronavirus grandma thinks they're a great parody writer, but only a chosen few can pull it off successfully.


Enter Twitter user @daniAWESOME. She wrote a near-perfect coronavirus parody of Bare Naked Ladies' "One Week," and posted it on Twitter. (Of note: She doesn't have a huge Twitter following, but she IS being followed by President Barack Obama—for real—so well done, sister. ALLL the high fives.)

She generously invited whoever felt inclined to put the lyrics to music, and someone named Pepper Coyote took her up on it. Ah, the beauty of social media. Twitter can be a cesspool, but then incredible gems like this come out of it.

Here are the full lyrics so you can sing it on your own, followed by the video rendition. (A few of the verses have been changed a bit in the recorded version, but it's great.)

It's Been

One week since we quarantined
Said we'd all stay inside
And eat our groceries

Five days since you FaceTimed me

Saying
Be symptom free or don't come and see me

Three days since the living room
Became my office
and work moved onto all Zoom

Yesterday you'd abandoned me
But it'll still be two months till we get to be free

Wash your hands in the kitchen sink
Don't wanna be the link
That gives Corona to your fellow man

I don't have snacks but I wish
I had stocked up on tuna fish
I cleared my pantry
Well before the worst had yet began

Don't run your errands during peak times
Use Amazon Prime
As long as postal service comes through

Good thing we still have Netflix
Barnett's a dipshit
Love may be Blind but it is dumb too

Gonna be a flake and skip spring break
Because Miami's an outbreak
Full of sick college kids whose conduct could be safer

Gotta stop the shows
Cause if they go
Then the Pandemic's gonna grow
Cause they are dangerous
By order of the mayor

I cannot help it if I got Corona from my dad
Trying hard not to cough and I feel bad

I'm just trying to avoid my own funeral
Can't even go out to eat
Or I'll get ill

I called my senator for universal sick leave
I have a growing need to keep paying my bills

It's been
One week since COVID 19
Threw our plans in the air and killed our parties

Five days since emergency
We flatten the curve or be Italy

Three days since we all cocooned
We realized we can't beat this and no one's immune

Yesterday, someone coughed on me
And now it's eighteen months till we can all be free

Over in China, when some got stricken
They all got locked in and COVID stopped tickin'

Walking the dog with a mask on
When everyone's gone
And if I see somebody I run

At grocery stores I'm feeling panic
At home I'm manic
At doctor's offices I'm terrified

Like Idris Elba I'm feeling ill
Kay I don't feel ill
That's hypochondria all magnified

Gonna shut down all the fitness clubs
And shutter all the social hubs
And tell deBlasio stay home to work your hamstrings

Gotta make a joke but its too soon
Cases balloon between the Boomers and the sick
Until we get some vaccines

How can I stop watching news because it makes me sad
Need to know but all signs pointing to bad

We help our fellow man, and friends, that is beautiful
Drop off some food like a queen
For good will

We need the science and we need the people to believe
We need the tests before more people get hurt

It's Been

One week since the distancing
Dropped our lives to the side for our wellbeing

Five days since the testing grew and yet
Still not as much as all the other nations do

Three days since the briefing room
He said he's not the one to blame, and what can we do?

Yesterday, you just texted me
Cause it'll still be two weeks till we break quarantine

It'll still be two months till we break quarantine

It'll still be two years till we break quarantine

Close the stadium, sports are on deep freeze

Well done @daniAWESOME and @peppercoyote. Thanks for keeping us all entertained while we hole up in our homes.

One Week of COVID 19 - Barenaked Ladies parody - Lyrics by @daniAWESOME youtu.be



Images courtesy of John Scully, Walden University, Ingrid Scully
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"We all tried to be really careful in the summer — or, as we called it back then, 'polio season,''" John says. This was because every year around Memorial Day, major outbreaks would begin to emerge and they'd spike sometime around August. People weren't really sure how the disease spread at the time, but many believed it traveled through the water. There was no cure — and every child was susceptible to getting sick with it.

"We couldn't swim in hot weather," he remembers, "and the municipal outdoor pool would close down in August."

Then, in 1954 clinical trials began for Dr. Jonas Salk's vaccine against polio and within a year, his vaccine was announced safe. "I got that vaccine at school," John says. Within two years, U.S. polio cases had dropped 85-95 percent — even before a second vaccine was developed by Dr. Albert Sabin in the 1960s. "I remember how much better things got after the vaccines came out. They changed everything," John says.

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Images courtesy of John Scully, Walden University, Ingrid Scully
True

Since March of 2020, over 29 million Americans have been diagnosed with COVID-19, according to the CDC. Over 540,000 have died in the United States as this unprecedented pandemic has swept the globe. And yet, by the end of 2020, it looked like science was winning: vaccines had been developed.

In celebration of the power of science we spoke to three people: an individual, a medical provider, and a vaccine scientist about how vaccines have impacted them throughout their lives. Here are their answers:

John Scully, 79, resident of Florida

Photo courtesy of John Scully

When John Scully was born, America was in the midst of an epidemic: tens of thousands of children in the United States were falling ill with paralytic poliomyelitis — otherwise known as polio, a disease that attacks the central nervous system and often leaves its victims partially or fully paralyzed.

"As kids, we were all afraid of getting polio," he says, "because if you got polio, you could end up in the dreaded iron lung and we were all terrified of those." Iron lungs were respirators that enclosed most of a person's body; people with severe cases often would end up in these respirators as they fought for their lives.

John remembers going to see matinee showings of cowboy movies on Saturdays and, before the movie, shorts would run. "Usually they showed the news," he says, "but I just remember seeing this one clip warning us about polio and it just showed all these kids in iron lungs." If kids survived the iron lung, they'd often come back to school on crutches, in leg braces, or in wheelchairs.

"We all tried to be really careful in the summer — or, as we called it back then, 'polio season,''" John says. This was because every year around Memorial Day, major outbreaks would begin to emerge and they'd spike sometime around August. People weren't really sure how the disease spread at the time, but many believed it traveled through the water. There was no cure — and every child was susceptible to getting sick with it.

"We couldn't swim in hot weather," he remembers, "and the municipal outdoor pool would close down in August."

Then, in 1954 clinical trials began for Dr. Jonas Salk's vaccine against polio and within a year, his vaccine was announced safe. "I got that vaccine at school," John says. Within two years, U.S. polio cases had dropped 85-95 percent — even before a second vaccine was developed by Dr. Albert Sabin in the 1960s. "I remember how much better things got after the vaccines came out. They changed everything," John says.

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