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Education

Yes, there is actually a best way to load a dishwasher

This info could save many a relationship.

dishwasher, dishes
Photo by Wendelin Jacober via Canva

Best practices for loading a dishwasher can end the dishwasher wars.

There are two types of people in this worldโ€”people who care about how the dishwasher gets loaded and those who don't, and never the twain shall meet.

Those who do care are frequently driven bonkers by those who don't, as well as by their fellow carers who disagree on the proper methodology. Dishwasher loading is serious business for those who care, and many a ladle has been raised in exasperation at those who load the dishwasher "wrong"โ€”as if there were a definitive "right" way to do it.

There's a difference between "right" and "best," of course. Everyone thinks their way is right, but that's a completely subjective judgment. There really are some best practices, however, based on manufacturer tips and experts who test dishwashers for consumer rankings lists.


One caveat: There are different reasons why people load the dishwasher in certain ways due to how their kitchen is set up and for efficiency of unloading, so there may be specific practices that aren't addressed here. For example, someone might always load their glasses on the left side of the dishwasher and their bowls on the right because the glasses cabinet is to the left of the dishwasher while the bowls cabinet is to the right of it. What's "best" at that level of detail will differ, so defer to the resident person-who-cares in each kitchen.

One more caveat: Always check manufacturer recommendations first. Some dishwashers may have features that require loading a certain way to work the way they should.

Generally, however, these best practices apply across the board:

1. Don't pre-rinse, just scrape off chunks of food.

Getting controversial right outta the gate here, but unless your dishwasher genuinely doesn't work right, you don't need to rinse food residue off dishes before loading. We had an old dishwasher that basically just sanitized the dishes but didn't clean them, so we spent years rinsing, but that was simply a case of needing a new dishwasher. Once we got one we learned that it's actually better to not rinse dishes first. Pre-rinsing not only wastes water and time, but it may actually make your dishwasher's performanceworse. Newer dishwashers have sensors that detect how dirty dishes are, so if you rinse too well you may fool the dishwasher into thinking the dishes aren't really dirty.

2. Cups and bowls upside down, plates facing the center.

Loading cups and bowls face down might seem like a no-brainer for most, but there are people who don't understand how a dishwasher washes. Water sprays upward from underneath each rack, so if you want the inside of cups and bowls to get as clean as possible, they need to be facing down. They'll also get filled with water if they're not upside down.

Everything should be facing or angled toward the center of the dishwasher, as water sprays from the center out. Yes, plates look more uniform when they all face the same direction, so this might be hard for the visually fastidious among us, but facing center makes for the most effective cleaning.

3. Plastics on top rack only, and only if labeled dishwasher-safe.

The top rack of the dishwasher doesn't get as hot as the bottom, and plastics can melt. Even if there's no visible melting, high temps can cause potentially harmful chemicals to leach out of plastic dishware and containers, so look for labels that say "dishwasher safe" and only place plastic items on the top rack. (Or wash by hand, which is recommended for plastics that aren't labeled as BPA-free.)

4. The great silverware directional debate settled, sort of.

Some new dishwashers have a flat rack for silverware on top, which eliminates the question of what direction they should face. For the traditional vertical baskets, there are various schools of thought. Some people put all the knives together, forks together, spoons together, etc. for ease of unloading. And then there's the handles up or handles down question.

Consumer Reports, which tests dishwashers, recommends placing spoons and forks handles down and sharp objects such as knives handles up. It also recommends mixing different types of silverware in each basket. Total chaos, I know.

The handles-up method makes for quicker and more sanitary unloading, it's true. But placing silverware handles down allows more space between the eating ends and mixing them up prevents nesting, both of which help them get cleaned better. Just make sure whoever is unloading has clean hands when they're grabbing the silverware by the eating ends and all will be well.

5. Don't overload.

This may also seem like an obvious statement, but again, you'd be surprised. The key here is to visualize the sprayers and where the water is going to reach inside the dishwasher. If bowls are stacked on top of each other, even loosely, the water won't reach inside the ones on top. One layer of dishes with a bit of space between each itemโ€”not a lot, just a littleโ€”will ensure that water can reach in and around every piece and will keep glass and ceramics from getting chipped or broken.

Give the top rack sprayer a manual spin with both racks pushed in before closing the lid as well. Stuff that's too tall on the bottom rack will stop the sprayer from spinning, which will inhibit its ability to clean the top rack.

6. Load back to front.

This best practice is particularly important if you are loading the dishwasher gradually throughout the day. It's easier to open the dishwasher a crack and place a glass or bowl in the front of the rack, but you'll save yourself a lot of guesswork about how full the dishwasher is if you train your household to start at the back and move forward. You'll also save yourself a bunch of rearranging before running.

7. Listen to people's reasons for loading certain ways and stay open to new ideas.

Beyond the basics listed here, there are all kinds of individual preferences for loading a dishwasher, some of which are simply habit and some of which are based on logic and reason. With the exception of the vertical silverware mix-up, it makes sense to put cups or dishes that go in the same cabinet together in the dishwasher, for instance. And there are ways to place your household's unique dishware most efficiently for space, so asking the resident person-who-cares for their recommendation isn't a bad idea.

Having some basic ground rules for dishwasher loading is helpful to avoid kitchen conflict, but so is being open to sharing ideas and learning from one another. With a little humility, we can put the ladles down and end the dishwasher wars once and for all. (Unless someone tries to cook a steak in the dishwasher, in which case bring on the battle.)

Pop Culture

People born before 1990 are sharing their now-useless but 100 percent nostalgic skills

For instance, recording songs on tape from the radio while yelling at the DJ to shut up during the intro.

From holding the phone on your shoulder to folding a map to knowing what "cornflower" and "goldenrod" are, here are pre-Y2K skills at their finest.

Hey there, millennials! Welcome to the "Holy crapoly, I have real-life memories from 20 years ago!" club. It's a strangely disorienting milestone to reach when you find yourself starting sentences with "When I was youngโ€ฆ" or "Back in my dayโ€ฆ" isn't it?

Your Gen X elders have been here for a while, but even we have moments of incredulously calculating how the heck we've arrived at this place. Time is a tricky little jokester, isn't he?

To highlight how much has changed for middle-aged folks since we were young, a user on Reddit asked people born before 1990 what useless skills they possess that nobody has a need for anymore. It's both a hilarious trip down memory lane and a time capsule of life pre-Y2K. (Do kids these days even know what Y2K was? Gracious.)

If you're down for some good-old-days nostalgia, check out people's responses:


Making brown paper bag book covers

"I can cover a textbook with a brown paper bag." โ€” sourwaterbug

Oh goodness yes. And there was always that one girl in class who had the art of the brown paper bag book cover perfected. (They're probably Pinterest influencers now.)

Folding a mapโ€”and knowing where to find a map

"I can re-fold a map correctly." โ€”JungleZac

"Man remember actually using mapsโ€ฆI had an atlas with the road system in my car to navigate other states during road trips. Crazy." โ€“ jagua_haku

How did we ever figure out how to get anywhere before GPS and Google Maps? (Two-inch thick road atlases in our car and stopping at gas stations to buy local maps while traveling, that's how. Positively primitive.)

Memorizing phone numbers and answering the house phone

For real, though, kids these days don't even know.

"Remembering phone numbers." โ€” greatmilliondog

"Not only that, having to speak to your friend's parents for a few minutes when you call their house." โ€”Logical_Area_5552

"How to take a message when the person they want to talk to isn't there." โ€” Amoori_A_Splooge

How about dialing on a rotary phone, using a pay phone and making (or taking) a collect call?

The skillful phone shoulder hold

"Using your shoulder to hold a telephone up to your ear while doing multiple other things at once. Now, the phones are so damned small I drop them." โ€“ Regular_Sample_5197

"100 ft phone cords ๐Ÿคฃ" โ€“ mrch1ck3nn

"I got in sooooo much trouble for stretching the phone cord into the bathroom for some privacy. Accidentally clotheslined Grandma ๐Ÿ˜ฌ She laughed about it but Mom was pissed!" โ€“ AffectionateBite3827

Knowing the exact name of every Crayola color because we only had so many

"I know what the color โ€œgoldenrodโ€ is." โ€” ImAmazedBaybee

"That and burnt sienna were the crayolas of choice." โ€” Signiference

"Cornflower would like a word." โ€” cps12345

The art of the mixed tapeโ€”especially from the radio

I don't think kids these days fully grasp how revolutionary Spotify and the like are for those of us who spent hours in front of the radio with our cassette tape recorder queued up at just the right spot waiting for the song we wanted to record to come one. And they will never, ever know the frustration of the DJ yapping right up until the lyrics start.

"Record to tape from the radio. Trying to make sure to not get the DJ/presenter talking sh-t or an ad" โ€“ Gankstajam

"'Shut up, shut up, shut up!!! I'm trying to record my song!!!'" โ€“ tearsonurcheek

"Haha yeah and trying to tell others so they don't make random noise or knock on the door.

How about making cassette-based mix tapes, trying to figure out to the second, how many and which types of songs in which order, that would still fit perfectly on the length of tape per side.

People who make digital recordings do not have to worry about 'running out of tape.'

Having the first side be tempting enough that they'd flip the other side to continue listening. That's before continual playback machines existed. Had to flip the cassette." โ€“ CrunchyTeaTime

And there were many more, from rewinding a cassette tape with a pencil to writing in cursive to tearing the sides off of printer paper without tearing the paper itself. (Oh and of course the ability to count out change and understand what you're supposed to do if something costs $9.91 and someone hands you $10.01.)

Gotta love it when the things that used to be totally normal now sound like historic artifacts found in a museum. Kind of makes you wonder what normal things from today we'll be laughing about in another 20 or 30 years.


This article originally appeared on 6.22.23

Family

Need to have a tough talk with your kid? Doctor suggests to have it in your car.

A great piece of advice for those "awkward but important" talks every parent must have.

@beachgem10/TikTok

Dr. Meghan Martin explains why tough conversations are best kept for the car.

As much as modern parents prioritize open, honest communication with their kids, there are still some talks that will always feel challenging to have.

But according to Dr. Meghan Martin, a pediatric emergency room physician and mom of four with a hefty social media following, making those awkward conversations just a little smoother all comes down to location, location, location.

โ€œThose awkward, but really important conversations that you need to have with your kids The birds and the bees, protection, drugs, all of that stuff: have those conversations in the car,โ€ โ€œ she says in a clip posted to her TikTok.

Martin declared that this โ€œbrilliantโ€ insight given to her by best friend, handle @teawiththeteach, is the โ€œbest piece of parenting adviceโ€ sheโ€™s ever received.

Hereโ€™s why.


โ€œYou have your hands on the wheel, you are looking straight ahead, you do not have to be making eye contact with anyone talking about the birds and the bees and the parts and the drugs or whatever that conversation is about that day. You also have a captive audience that is literally seat belted in behind you,โ€ she explained.

Not having to maintain intense eye contact makes the entire conversation less embarrassing and vulnerable for everyone involved. And where thereโ€™s less embarrassment, thereโ€™s more room for things to actually be heard.

Plus, unlike having a talk at home, which already has serious undertones, cars are instantly more casual, making things less of a โ€œbig deal,โ€ Martin noted. Just think, wouldn't it be nice to instantly throw on an upbeat playlist after having one of these chatsโ€ฆrather than sitting in awkward silence?

Martin herself has tried this approach with her two older kids, and said the car has now become a โ€œsafe placeโ€ for things to be talked about. They even bring up their own questions to discuss.


@beachgem10 Replying to @user2271606969875 The best piece parenting advice was from @teawiththeteach and she said to have uncomfortable conversations with kids in the car #parentingย #adviceย #thebirdsandthebeesย #conversationย โ™ฌ original sound - Beachgem10

โ€œIโ€™m starting to have these conversations with my younger kids,โ€ she concluded, โ€œand I want to emphasize how important it is to talk about these issues early so that when you get to that older teen/pre-teen time that itโ€™s not the first time theyโ€™re hearing about it.โ€

Martin isnโ€™t the only one to have tried car talk either. Many folks in the comments shared how they have successfully brought up difficult subjects on car trips.

โ€œYes, my oldest is 26 and I still have big conversations with him in the car. At that age I wait until weโ€™re on the interstate so he canโ€™t jump out,โ€ one person wrote.

โ€œI love the car for tough conversations even with my spouse,โ€ added another.

A few recalled having their own tough car conversations as kids.

โ€œMy mom ALWAYS did this,โ€one viewer said, adding โ€œI still get anxiety in the car with her wondering what she is going to bring up and I have my own family now. ... I am glad she did and that she cared enough to have those conversations.โ€

Another parent even shared how they added in one other element to make for smoother discussions, writing โ€œโ€œI did this. Add an ice cream cone to connect something enjoyable for the brain to connect to. My boys would ask for ice cream drives when they had something serious they wanted to discuss.โ€

Other resources have pondered other factors that make conversations seem to flow easier in a car, like the close proximity, limited distractions, and the changing scenery which helps create the sense that weโ€™re not stuck with a problem. An article posted in Symptoms of Living also surmises that having a shared destination and facing the same direction also play a big part.

Having big talks with kids might be difficult, but itโ€™s all an integral part of being a parent. Hopefully this tidbit can make things easier for everyone involved.

Just remember to have that upbeat playlist at the ready!

Mel Robinson making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatlesโ€™ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote โ€œLet it Be,โ€ a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control.

โ€œItโ€™s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,โ€ Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. โ€œWe canโ€™t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.โ€


This idea of giving up control, or the illusion of it, when it does us no good, was perfectly distilled into 2 words that everyone can understand as the โ€œLet Themโ€ theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video.

โ€œI just heard about this thing called the โ€˜Let Them Theory,โ€™ I freaking love this,โ€ Robbins starts the video.

โ€œIf your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you're really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.โ€ Robbins says in the clip. โ€œSo much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.โ€

โ€œIf theyโ€™re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them โ€“ and then you get to choose what you do next,โ€ she continued.

The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because itโ€™s a reminder that, for the most part, we canโ€™t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose.

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the โ€œLet Them Theory.โ€ย 

@melrobbins

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the โ€œLet Them Theory.โ€ ๐Ÿ’ฅ Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! โ€œThe โ€œLet Them Theoryโ€: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Canโ€™t Stop Talking Aboutโ€ ๐Ÿ”— in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode

How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.

Itโ€™s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, โ€œNot my circus, not my monkeys.โ€

โ€œYes! Itโ€™s much like a concept propelled by the book โ€˜The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.โ€™ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. Itโ€™s realizing that we only have โ€œcontrolโ€ over ourselves and itโ€™s so freeing,โ€ 60DaysToLive2012 wrote.

โ€œLet It Beโ€ brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether itโ€™s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you donโ€™t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because theyโ€™re in a huge rush to go who knows where.

The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, โ€œLet them.โ€


This article originally appeared on 3.4.24

Matt McConaughey and some guys playing cowboy.

Josh and Jase are a British duo whoโ€™ve become famous on social media for documenting their travels across America and sharing what theyโ€™ve learned about each region's unique culture.

โ€œOriginally, I thought weโ€™d appeal to the British audience, and theyโ€™d find it interesting. But actually, itโ€™s gone more the other way, and Americans say that they appreciate their country a little bit more because we go to these cool places that usually a lot of people donโ€™t go to,โ€ Jase told KRQE.


Recently, the pair traveled to Texas, and Jase quickly learned that the Lone Star State has its own phrases that you wonโ€™t hear often, if ever, in the UK. So, he decided to share them with his audience while trying out his American accent, which sounds a lot like Matt McConaughey.

@jaseinamerica

How did i do? ๐Ÿ˜‚

1. โ€œY'allโ€ โ€”"No one says, 'you all," it's y'all."

2. โ€œBigger'n Dallasโ€ โ€” A term Texans use to describe something "really big."

3. โ€œBless your heartโ€ โ€” This means that someone feels "sorry for you" or it's a "hidden insult." Jase is still learning the difference.

4. โ€œBroke badโ€ โ€” A person raised by a good family but winds up becoming a "naughty individual."

5. โ€œCome hell or high waterโ€ โ€” A saying that means "to do something, regardless of what's in your way."

6. โ€œCorn-fedโ€ โ€” This is a term to describe someone who is "really big."

7. โ€œDag gum itโ€ โ€” A kinder way of saying, "Goddamn it."

8. โ€œFixinโ€™ toโ€ โ€” To plan to do something.

9. โ€œMight couldโ€ โ€” Basically, it's the same as saying could: "They might win the game if they had their regular quarterback fit."


Family

How the 2024 Olympics are catering to mom athletes for the very first time

Thanks to the advocacy of trailblazing mom athletes like Allyson Felix, juggling motherhood and competition is getting easier.

Image credit: Fernando Frazรฃo/Agรชncia Brasil (left), P&G (right)

Allyson Felix advocated for a nursery to be added to the Olympic village.

For much of Olympic history, women were excluded from competing. Women weren't allowed to compete in the Ancient Olympic games at all, and the first women to compete in the modern Olympics in 1900 only made up 2% of the total athletes.

That percentage has slowly increased in the decades since. The 2012 Olympics were the first games to have women competing in every sport, and the 2024 Paris gamesโ€”for the first time in Olympic historyโ€”has a 50/50 ratio of male and female athletes.

That gender parity makes a difference, not only for athletic opportunity but for how the games themselves are managed. More women competing means more mothers with babies competing, and thanks to some key advocates with experience in that area, the Olympic Committee has made two big moves at the Paris games to support those athletes.


Take breastfeeding, for example. If an elite athlete is breastfeeding a baby, there are all kinds of logistics that can make competing at the Olympics a challenge. But with proper support, it doesn't have to prohibit them from competing in top form.

One way the Olympic organizers are making competition more doable for moms is by offering breastfeeding athletes and their families hotel rooms near the Olympic village. Children have always been banned from the Olympic village with very few exceptions, and the dorm-type rooms with single, twin-sized beds are not exactly conducive to breastfeeding families' needs anyway.

According to La Leche League International, breastfeeding athletes can thank fellow Olympian Clarisse Agbegnenou for the the hotel accommodations, The French Judo champion who became a mother in June of 2022 advocated for the accommodations, saying, "To put things in perspective, I've decided to breastfeed my daughter until she's weaned. She hasn't yet, so I'm following her. I've made sure that I feel good physically, because of course there's an element of tiredness. But as a mother who needs to be very present for my daughter, I asked for the opportunity to have her with me during the Olympics."

Agbegnenou nursed her baby, Athena, while training forโ€”and subsequently winningโ€”her sixth world championship title. Clearly breastfeeding itself isn't holding her back in her sport, but not having proper accommodations would make competing in the Olympics unnecessarily harder.

French Olympic Committee secretary general Astrid Guyart told reporters of the hotel accommodations, "It's unprecedented and it's something we want to make permanent, so it's not a one-off because it's the Olympics in Paris."

Thanks to the advocacy of another Olympian mom Allyson Felixโ€”who also happens to be the most decorated track athlete in historyโ€”the Paris Olympics also has its first nursery. Felix, who is now retired from competition, approached the International Olympic Committee and her partner Pampers about supporting athletes who are competing while parenting babies and young children.

โ€œI just knew how difficult it was to compete at the top level after I had my daughter, and some practical things were really hard,โ€ Felix told CBS Mornings. โ€œAnd so when I became on the athletes Commission of the IOC I really wanted to be that voice for athlete moms and just take away one less thing for them to worry about in the pressure of competition.โ€

The nursery, supported by Procter & Gamble, sits in the heart of the Olympic village and includes a space to breastfeed, a play area and access to Pampers products. Felix said it gives parent athletes a place to step away from the noise and have some private time with their children.

Check out one Olympic family making use of the nursery:


@thewroster

How is this the first time they thought of this ๐Ÿฅน๐Ÿ˜… #olympics #momlife #australia #oioioi ๐Ÿ“ฒ Keesja Gofers

In the past, athletes were often made to feel that becoming a mother meant the end of their sports career, but Felix pointed out that that was just a narrative that was being placed on them. Accommodations like the nursery for athletes marks a new chapter in a new narrative.

โ€œI think it really tells women that you can choose motherhood and also be at the top of your game and not have to miss a beat,โ€ said Felix, adding, โ€œIt's really a starting out place. I would love to grow this even more.โ€

Here's to the athletes blazing the trail for themselves and those who've come after them to ensure that moms don't have to make false choices between motherhood and being at the top of their sport.