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Before she became a Broadway great, Audra McDonald survived a suicide attempt.

Content warning: discussion of suicidal thoughts and actions.

Audra McDonald is one of the greatest performers of our time. Full stop.

A venerated actress, spellbinding singer, and consummate performer, McDonald is a six-time Tony Award winner, the most of any individual, and the only person to earn the coveted trophy in all four acting categories. To say nothing of her television and film roles and her resistance-ready Twitter account, this is a woman with some serious talent.

But like many great performers, McDonald's path to success wasn't easy.


[rebelmouse-image 19532363 dam="1" original_size="750x498" caption="McDonald, center, and the cast of "Shuffle Along, or, The Making of the Musical Sensation of 1921 and All That Followed" perform onstage during the Tony Awards. Photo by Theo Wargo/Getty Images for Tony Awards Productions." expand=1]McDonald, center, and the cast of "Shuffle Along, or, The Making of the Musical Sensation of 1921 and All That Followed" perform onstage during the Tony Awards. Photo by Theo Wargo/Getty Images for Tony Awards Productions.

The Broadway great joined Alec Baldwin on his podcast, "Here's The Thing," to talk about her rise to fame and the detour that almost ended it all.

McDonald grew up in Fresno, California, and started college at Juilliard, a world-renowned performing arts school, in New York in 1988. She chose to study classical music and operatic singing, hoping to also take classes in dance and drama too, but soon learned her intense course of study wouldn't allow for it.

"I felt lost, completely lost," she told Baldwin.

Her lack of fulfillment coupled with the pressure of being the young woman from her hometown who was supposed to "make it" weighed heavily on her. One night, it was all too much.

In the winter of her third year, McDonald slit her wrists. She quickly called the Student Affairs Director, who helped get her to Gracie Square Hospital, a psychiatric facility in the city. She noticed a few other Juilliard students there too.

"I was [at the hospital] for a month," she said. "They evaluated me and said, 'You're not going any time soon.'"

McDonald took a year off school to recuperate and later took on a role in "The Secret Garden." She returned to Juilliard and graduated in 1993. The rest, as they say, is history ... and awards from the president.

McDonald received the 2015 National Medal of Arts in September 2016. Photo by Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images.

McDonald's story reminds us depression is a monster that can be tamed, but not one that easily goes away.

Baldwin seemed surprised to learn of McDonald's depression, given the strength and confidence she has onstage. She credits that experience and her passion for art for helping her find joy and strength in dark moments.

"I realized I'm someone who suffers from depression but I learned in the years: A. how to deal with it, B. to find my joy, and C. to realize that like alcoholism, it's something you wake up every day and you say, 'Yeah that's still something I have to deal with.'"

McDonald and Neil Patrick Harris perform onstage at the Tony Awards. Photo by Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images for Tony Awards Productions.

That's why she's so transparent about her experience with suicide and living with mental illness.

She speaks freely about that time now, knowing it could save someone else's life. "I'm open about it because I think I'm a case of 'it gets better,'" she said.

In a fitting epilogue, Gracie Square Hospital stands right next to the OB-GYN practice McDonald attended while pregnant with her now-10-month-old daughter. The full-circle moment wasn't lost on her.

"Every time I passed it, there was a part of me just, you know, waddling down the street pregnant as can be some 29 years later. I felt such relief and joy and a sense of 'Yes, I get the big picture now.'"

[rebelmouse-image 19532366 dam="1" original_size="750x478" caption="McDonald and Norm Lewis join the cast to take a bow during the curtain call at "The Gershwins' Porgy and Bess" on opening night. Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images." expand=1]McDonald and Norm Lewis join the cast to take a bow during the curtain call at "The Gershwins' Porgy and Bess" on opening night. Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images.

Depression, suicidal ideation, and other mental health concerns can affect anyone, at any time. But there is hope.

If you or someone you care about is having a difficult time, it's OK to ask for help from a trusted friend, teacher, counselor, or your doctor. In an emergency, you can always call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 800-273-8255. There is help. There is hope.

All images provided by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

Collins after being selected by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

True

A changemaker is anyone who takes creative action to solve an ongoing problem—be it in one’s own community or throughout the world.

And when it comes to creating positive change, enthusiasm and a fresh perspective can hold just as much power as years of experience. That’s why, every year, Prudential Emerging Visionaries celebrates young people for their innovative solutions to financial and societal challenges in their communities.

This national program awards 25 young leaders (ages 14-18) up to $15,000 to devote to their passion projects. Additionally, winners receive a trip to Prudential’s headquarters in Newark, New Jersey, where they receive coaching, skills development, and networking opportunities with mentors to help take their innovative solutions to the next level.

For 18-year-old Sydnie Collins, one of the 2023 winners, this meant being able to take her podcast, “Perfect Timing,” to the next level.

Since 2020, the Maryland-based teen has provided a safe platform that promotes youth positivity by giving young people the space to celebrate their achievements and combat mental health stigmas. The idea came during the height of Covid-19, when Collins recalled social media “becoming a dark space flooded with news,” which greatly affected her own anxiety and depression.

Knowing that she couldn’t be the only one feeling this way, “Perfect Timing” seemed like a valuable way to give back to her community. Over the course of 109 episodes, Collins has interviewed a wide range of guests—from other young influencers to celebrities, from innovators to nonprofit leaders—all to remind Gen Z that “their dreams are tangible.”

That mission statement has since evolved beyond creating inspiring content and has expanded to hosting events and speaking publicly at summits and workshops. One of Collins’ favorite moments so far has been raising $7,000 to take 200 underserved girls to see “The Little Mermaid” on its opening weekend, to “let them know they are enough” and that there’s an “older sister” in their corner.

Of course, as with most new projects, funding for “Perfect Timing” has come entirely out of Collins’ pocket. Thankfully, the funding she earned from being selected as a Prudential Emerging Visionary is going toward upgraded recording equipment, the support of expert producers, and skill-building classes to help her become a better host and public speaker. She’ll even be able to lease an office space that allows for a live audience.

Plus, after meeting with the 24 other Prudential Emerging Visionaries and her Prudential employee coach, who is helping her develop specific action steps to connect with her target audience, Collins has more confidence in a “grander path” for her work.

“I learned that my network could extend to multiple spaces beyond my realm of podcasting and journalism when industry leaders are willing to share their expertise, time, and financial support,” she told Upworthy. “It only takes one person to change, and two people to expand that change.”

Prudential Emerging Visionaries is currently seeking applicants for 2024. Winners may receive up to $15,000 in awards and an all-expenses-paid trip to Prudential’s headquarters with a parent or guardian, as well as ongoing coaching and skills development to grow their projects.

If you or someone you know between the ages of 14 -18 not only displays a bold vision for the future but is taking action to bring that vision to life, click here to learn more. Applications are due by Nov. 2, 2023.
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