Bedtime battles got you down, parents? These tweets will have you laughing in solidarity.

Few aspects of parenting unite the masses like bedtime.

Sure, there are some superhuman parents who manage to wrangle their offspring into bed with a minimal amount of effort and agony. But then there are the rest of us.

If the idea of putting your loinfruit down for the night causes you to twitch uncontrollably, these tweets are for you.


Let's start with the big picture. If "drunk, rabid chimpanzees" is not a relatable description of bedtime with small children at your house, please teach us your ways.

It's all about routine, right? That's what the experts say. This color-coded diagram of a typical bedtime routine seems accurate:

It's a good idea to start the routine with a story, which can be a super sweet bonding time, and also feel like it takes a million bajillion years.

Then there's the lullaby. Or lullabies plural, until you end up singing whatever song comes into your head because OMG KID, JUST GO TO SLEEP.

You think you're done. But then comes the philosophy portion of the evening, where your kid who couldn't tell you a single thing they learned in school that day suddenly becomes super deep and inquisitive.

Now you find yourself torn between encouraging their curiosity and wanting to leave the damn room.

Finally, there's the dehydration phase of the night. You: "Goodnight!" Them: "Must . . . have . . . water . . ."

Seriously. YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH WATER.

After a few kids, you get wise to the water thing and use it as a science lesson.

That seems like it should be it right? Routine done, kid falls asleep?

But oh no. Kids like to get creative.

What the heck are you doing in your bed, kid?

And check this out. You know how sometimes you could swear your kids are doing all of this on purpose?

Well, apparently sometimes they are.

This is the kind of thing that makes us suspicious on the rare nights when bedtime actually runs smoothly. It's also what makes us age 10 years every night.

Sometimes the funniest things aren't even trying to be funny. May I present the most obvious study result in the history of study results?

Okay, Sherlock. If it were only that simple. Case in point:

All is not lost, however. This mom figured out a genius parenting hack to get kids to bed lickety-split:

Now let's say you do finally get them to sleep (probably by lying in bed with them because who are we kidding). That's when your own body inevitably betrays you as you attempt to leave without waking them.

Ah, bedtime. After three kids, I think I've figured out why it's such a chaotic mess. Kids simply operate on a completely different set of definitions than we do. It's the only explanation.

Image via Annie Reneau/Motherhood and More

It's a good thing those little buggers are so darned cute. (Especially when they're asleep.)

via Pexels

A new Gallup poll found a significant increase in the number of Americans who identify as LGBT since the last time it conducted a similar poll in 2017.

The poll found that 5.6% of U.S. adults identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. That's a large increase from the 2017 poll that had the number at 4.5%.

"More than half of LGBT adults (54.6%) identify as bisexual. About a quarter (24.5%) say they are gay, with 11.7% identifying as lesbian and 11.3% as transgender. An additional 3.3% volunteer another non-heterosexual preference or term to describe their sexual orientation, such as queer or same-gender-loving," the poll says.

Keep Reading Show less
Courtesy of Creative Commons
True

After years of service as a military nurse in the naval Marine Corps, Los Angeles, California-resident Rhonda Jackson became one of the 37,000 retired veterans in the U.S. who are currently experiencing homelessness — roughly eight percent of the entire homeless population.

"I was living in a one-bedroom apartment with no heat for two years," Jackson said. "The Department of Veterans Affairs was doing everything they could to help but I was not in a good situation."

One day in 2019, Jackson felt a sudden sense of hope for a better living arrangement when she caught wind of the ongoing construction of Veteran's Village in Carson, California — a 51-unit affordable housing development with one, two and three-bedroom apartments and supportive services to residents through a partnership with U.S.VETS.

Her feelings of hope quickly blossomed into a vision for her future when she learned that Veteran's Village was taking applications for residents to move in later that year after construction was complete.

"I was entered into a lottery and I just said to myself, 'Okay, this is going to work out,'" Jackson said. "The next thing I knew, I had won the lottery — in more ways than one."

Keep Reading Show less

As the nation helplessly watches our highest halls of government toss justice to the wind, a 2nd grader has given us someplace to channel our frustrations. In a hilarious video rant, a youngster named Taylor shared a story that has folks ready to go to the mat for her and her beloved, pink, perfect attendance pencil.

Keep Reading Show less
via wakaflockafloccar / TikTok

It's amazing to consider just how quickly the world has changed over the past 11 months. If you were to have told someone in February 2020 that the entire country would be on some form of lockdown, nearly everyone would be wearing a mask, and half a million people were going to die due to a virus, no one would have believed you.

Yet, here we are.

PPE masks were the last thing on Leah Holland of Georgetown, Kentucky's mind on March 4, 2020, when she got a tattoo inspired by the words of a close friend.

Keep Reading Show less