Bedtime battles got you down, parents? These tweets will have you laughing in solidarity.

Few aspects of parenting unite the masses like bedtime.

Sure, there are some superhuman parents who manage to wrangle their offspring into bed with a minimal amount of effort and agony. But then there are the rest of us.

If the idea of putting your loinfruit down for the night causes you to twitch uncontrollably, these tweets are for you.


Let's start with the big picture. If "drunk, rabid chimpanzees" is not a relatable description of bedtime with small children at your house, please teach us your ways.

It's all about routine, right? That's what the experts say. This color-coded diagram of a typical bedtime routine seems accurate:

It's a good idea to start the routine with a story, which can be a super sweet bonding time, and also feel like it takes a million bajillion years.

Then there's the lullaby. Or lullabies plural, until you end up singing whatever song comes into your head because OMG KID, JUST GO TO SLEEP.

You think you're done. But then comes the philosophy portion of the evening, where your kid who couldn't tell you a single thing they learned in school that day suddenly becomes super deep and inquisitive.

Now you find yourself torn between encouraging their curiosity and wanting to leave the damn room.

Finally, there's the dehydration phase of the night. You: "Goodnight!" Them: "Must . . . have . . . water . . ."

Seriously. YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH WATER.

After a few kids, you get wise to the water thing and use it as a science lesson.

That seems like it should be it right? Routine done, kid falls asleep?

But oh no. Kids like to get creative.

What the heck are you doing in your bed, kid?

And check this out. You know how sometimes you could swear your kids are doing all of this on purpose?

Well, apparently sometimes they are.

This is the kind of thing that makes us suspicious on the rare nights when bedtime actually runs smoothly. It's also what makes us age 10 years every night.

Sometimes the funniest things aren't even trying to be funny. May I present the most obvious study result in the history of study results?

Okay, Sherlock. If it were only that simple. Case in point:

All is not lost, however. This mom figured out a genius parenting hack to get kids to bed lickety-split:

Now let's say you do finally get them to sleep (probably by lying in bed with them because who are we kidding). That's when your own body inevitably betrays you as you attempt to leave without waking them.

Ah, bedtime. After three kids, I think I've figured out why it's such a chaotic mess. Kids simply operate on a completely different set of definitions than we do. It's the only explanation.

Image via Annie Reneau/Motherhood and More

It's a good thing those little buggers are so darned cute. (Especially when they're asleep.)

Image by 5540867 from Pixabay

Figuring out what to do for a mom on Mother's Day can be a tricky thing. There's the standard flowers or candy, of course, and taking her out to a nice brunch is a fairly universal winner. But what do moms really want?

Speaking from experience—my kids range from age 12 to 20—a lot depends on the stage of motherhood. What I wanted when my kids were little is different than what I want now, and I'm sure when my kids are grown and gone I'll want something different again.

We asked our readers to share what they want for Mother's Day, and while the answers were varied, there were some common themes that emerged.

Moms of young kids want a break.

When your kids are little, motherhood is relentless. Precious and adorable, yes. Wonderful and rewarding, absolutely. But it's a LOT. And it's a lot all the fricking time.

Most moms I know would love the gift of alone time, either away at a hotel or Airbnb or in their own home with no one else around. Time alone is a priceless commodity at this stage, especially if it comes with someone else taking care of cleaning, making sure the kids are fed and safe and occupied, doing the laundry, etc.

This is especially true after more than a year of pandemic living, where we moms have spent more time than usual at home with our offspring. While in some ways that's been great, again, it's a lot.

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Photo by Daniel Schludi on Unsplash
True

The global eradication of smallpox in 1980 is one of international public health's greatest successes. But in 1966, seven years after the World Health Organization announced a plan to rid the world of the disease, smallpox was still widespread. The culprits? A lack of funds, personnel and vaccine supply.

Meanwhile, outbreaks across South America, Africa, and Asia continued, as the highly contagious virus continued to kill three out of every 10 people who caught it, while leaving many survivors disfigured. It took a renewed commitment of resources from wealthy nations to fulfill the promise made in 1959.

Forty-one years later, although we face a different virus, the potential for vast destruction is just as great, and the challenges of funding, personnel and supply are still with us, along with last-mile distribution. Today, while 30% of the U.S. population is fully vaccinated, with numbers rising every day, there is an overwhelming gap between wealthy countries and the rest of the world. It's becoming evident that the impact on the countries getting left behind will eventually boomerang back to affect us all.

Photo by ismail mohamed - SoviLe on Unsplash

The international nonprofit CARE recently released a policy paper that lays out the case for U.S. investment in a worldwide vaccination campaign. Founded 75 years ago, CARE works in over 100 countries and reaches more than 90 million people around the world through multiple humanitarian aid programs. Of note is the organization's worldwide reputation for its unshakeable commitment to the dignity of people; they're known for working hand-in-hand with communities and hold themselves to a high standard of accountability.

"As we enter into our second year of living with COVID-19, it has become painfully clear that the safety of any person depends on the global community's ability to protect every person," says Michelle Nunn, CARE USA's president and CEO. "While wealthy nations have begun inoculating their populations, new devastatingly lethal variants of the virus continue to emerge in countries like India, South Africa and Brazil. If vaccinations don't effectively reach lower-income countries now, the long-term impact of COVID-19 will be catastrophic."

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