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Adults are sharing things a teacher said or did to them that they've never forgotten

The power of a teacher's words and deeds should never be underestimated.

teacher high-fiving a student
Photo credit: Canva

Teachers have a lasting influence throughout our lives.

Few people in our lives have the powerful influence of teachers, for better or worse. During our formative years, feedback from educators and mentors can build our confidence or crush our spirits, make us believe in our abilities, or fill us with self-doubt.

The messages we get from teachers often follows us into adulthood. When those messages are positive, that can be the voices inside our head telling us we're capable and not to give up. When the messages are negative, it can create internal obstacles we have to struggle to overcome.

People on Reddit are answering the question, "What did a teacher say or do to you that you've never forgotten?" and the answers are a testament to the immense responsibility teachers have when it comes to their words and deeds. While there are some painful recollections of uncaring or insensitive teachers, most are a reminder of how many teachers go out of their way to make a positive difference in students' lives.

Support through family issues

"My parents had just divorced and they shared custody of us. When my mother had us, she wouldn't feed us, send us a lunch, bathe or groom us so we'd show up to school tired, hungry, and dirty. When my 1st-grade teacher figured out what was going on, she started keeping a brush and wipes for me in her desk along with lunch money. She'd take me aside before other kids showed up and groom me and feed me. That was about 35 years ago and I still think about her all the time. Ironically, her name was Mrs. Severe. What a beautiful soul. I really needed that maternal care that she gave me." – Temporary-Author-641

"I became quite close with one of my band teachers in high school and viewed him as a father figure in many ways. My parents were freshly divorced, and i was floundering without a male role model at all (my father never made attempts to see me). The teacher noticed some changes in me and figured out the story. All it took was a sincere, eyeball-to-eyeball statement of 'I believe in you. You are better than you realize.' And the sun shone brighter, and the clouds parted a bit. When he retired, I made sure to go to his final school concert, and we caught up. It was amazing, but then i saw his wife of several decades. I walked over and introduced myself and thanked her for sacrificing their time together for all those years so he could be someone that his students needed in their lives. We both started crying and hugged.

Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Rizzo. You are better than you will ever realize." – woodworkLIdad

woman holding a cat

Teachers can make a difference outside of the classroom, too.

Photo by Mel Elías on Unsplash

Care and compassion

"Once on the way to school, I found a kitten and couldn't leave it behind. It was dirty, hungry, and in need of help. I had to take it with me to school. At that moment, my parents were against me having a pet... and so, after school, as I sat there crying and not knowing what to do with the kitten, my teacher approached me. She calmed me down and took the kitten with her. After that, she sometimes brought him to class. This way, we continued to communicate. She named him Inkblot. As far as I know, he lived until he was 17. I will always remember this act, as she didn't break my little heart and saved the cute kitten. Double Shot." – Wooden-Ranger-8765

"'I know there’s a senior party tonight, if any of you can’t drive at any point during the night you can call me for a ride and I’ll take you home. I won’t tell your parents or get you in trouble, I just don’t want anyone drinking and driving." — Senior biology teacher." – chateauboxer777

Understanding mental health struggles

"My freshmen science teacher noticed I was starting to have a panic attack, wrote me a note to go to my counselor and then I left to do so. He was my favorite teacher, I failed almost everything but had the best grade in his class. I will never forget that man, the teacher can make all the difference in a student's work." – bigshark276473827

"I had to miss the last 2 months of my sophomore year of high school because I went into an eating disorder treatment program, and had to spend the whole summer making up my classes. My chemistry teacher offered to meet me weekly at the local coffee shop so that she would still be able to actually teach me and make sure I understood the material (as opposed to just teaching myself out of the book like I had to do with the rest of my classes). Graduated college with a bachelors in chemistry 6 years after that." – caffa4

"In high school I was the class clown always made people laugh and was there for them. I put up a front 'the happy and cheeriest one' but I was struggling so bad with mental health issues, hated life and myself. Borderline suicidal. Anyway, one day, when I was telling a joke and 'laughing' with everyone, this one teacher took me aside and said, 'You’re such a joy to everyone, but I can see the pain in your eyes. Your place in this world matters and would be so much poorer without you. Don’t give up'. Well god damn I thought I was so good at hiding it from everyone. And it kind of broke me that someone could tell. But yea a moment I’ll never forget." – Sarkeshikian

Memorable words of wisdom

"'You’re not a good liar. You shouldn’t do it'…Probably the most useful lesson I learned in all school before college." – witblacktype

"'Those who do not have the talent can compensate for it with diligence.' It was a reply to a worry I had, and he was right." – mochi_chan

"'What good is going to the church every week if you just gonna go home and abuse your kids?' This was said during a religion class in Ireland secondary school." – timchenw

"'Get out before you get stuck.' It was simple wisdom from my 12th grade English teacher that I repeat in my mind quite often. I think he was referring to getting out of our small town, but it rings true for many things in life." – RemarkableBeach1603

"'I don't know but I can find out' - my physics teacher Mr. Gould. It's a little thing but it really stuck with me. You don't have to know everything and you don't have to appear like you do either." – DarkflowNZ
teacher standing in front of a class of students

Some teachers aren't as nurturing as others.

Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

The ones you had to prove wrong

"'You won't achieve anything in your life.' I am now an engineer. Every time I was studying I thought about this sentence and it motivated me to be better and work harder to prove him wrong. Even today, every time something is tuff in my life I go over it and remember this sentence, I have to prove him wrong." – No_Comment_50

"My science teacher told my parents I 'didn't belong in her class' when I was 13. It was an accelerated class and I finished the year top of her class. Still not sure whether she was a dumb cow or an evil genius." – Rosserman

"I remember in my penultimate year of school, my English teacher told my mum in a parent teacher meeting that I should drop to the lower class because hers was too advanced for me. I chose to stay in it out of spite and ended up being one of the top students in my year 🤷♀️" – tlaxette

"Ms. Fowler. My 11th grade math teacher. Told us early on in the school year, 'if you don't understand something the first time I go over it, it's because you weren't paying attention, and I will not waste my time repeating myself.' As someone who struggles with math, I learned the hard way that she meant it. I tried and tried and tried, but I just couldn't get it and she was never any help. Ended up giving up. Just putting random answers to assignments and tests. Flunked out of the class. Think my final grade was in the 20s. Was given the option to pay $150 and go to summer school where I'd just do assignments until I got a passing grade, likely have the same teacher as well. Or, flunk out, repeat the class as a senior and graduate on a lesser plan. I took option B and felt like a failure.

On the flip side. Senior year I got a new math teacher, Mr. Kerr. My grade never went under a 90 in his class. I understood things I never did the year prior. Even got decent at trigonometry. He built a confidence in me I never knew I could have." – Klown1327

The ones who believed and encouraged

"I love to sew. I have been sewing since I was a kid. In high school, I took a sewing class as an extra and was miles ahead of the other students. I made a grey, wool, floor length cloak with a red lining while everyone else was making pajama pants. My teacher graded me according to my skill and not compared to the other students. Then she found me a year later and showed me a pic in a catalog of a Renaissance-style dress she thought I'd like. It was a wedding dress but I loved it anyway. My mom took me fabric shopping and the next semester I took that class again and made the dress. My teacher stayed in with me during lunches, after school, during study periods, and guided me through making that dress. She even helped tackle the challenge of gathering many layers of heavy silk and jacquard and linings, tapping into every trick she knew to get it to work. (Zig zag stitch over dental floss finally did it.) Then she graded me according to my skill set. I got a 94. Dinged for some less than perfect hand stitching on the hem.

I then put it on and ran over to my favorite science teacher's classroom to show her (I took biology, anatomy and physiology, ap bio, and ap anatomy and physiology from her—huge science nerd here) and she stopped her class so I could get up on a desk and show off my dress.

8 years later... I wore that dress to get married. They were both at my wedding (as well as my 7th and 8th grade English teacher) and singled out as honored guests along with the moms and grandmas as people who were highly influential to me. I will never forget their support and encouragement and dedication to their craft that has inspired me for all my life. I'm 43 now. I was an x-ray tech for 20 years and I still sew regularly." – Routine-Register-575


"5th grade teacher, Mrs. W. I doodled and drew a lot as a kid. I’d finish my work, flip the page over, and cover the back with drawings. Most teachers didn’t mind as long as the work was finished, but Mrs. W loved my drawings. I’d recently gotten a 'how to draw dragons' book and kept drawing a specific one over and over to improve. She asked me one day to draw her one on a blank sheet of paper, and after I was finished, asked me to sign it, because, 'You’re going to be a famous artist one day and I want to have a signed copy of one of your original pictures!'

It was such a small thing, but it made me feel really good. She ended up passing away relatively suddenly from cancer when I was a sophomore in college, going to school for 3D art. She was on my mind during the portfolio review at the end of the term. I wished I could’ve shown her some of the art I’d created. She crosses my mind a couple of times a year ever since and I always get teary-eyed thinking about her." – soap-bucket

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Parenting

Yet another school district shifts to 4-day week and parents are sounding off

So...when are we getting the matching 4-day work week?

Unsplash

Students working; an empty classroom.

When talking with other parents I know, it's hard not to sound like a grumpy old man when we get around to discussing school schedules: "Am I the only one who feels like kids have so many days off? I never got that many days off when I was a kid! And I had to go work in the coal mine after, too!" I know what I sound like, but I just can't help it.

In Georgia where I live, we have a shorter summer break than some other parts of the country. But my kids have the entire week of Thanksgiving off, a week in September, two whole weeks at Christmas, a whole week off in February, and a weeklong spring break. They have asynchronous days (during which they complete assignments at home, which usually takes about 30 minutes) about once a month, and they have two or three half-day weeks throughout the year. Quite honestly, it feels like they're never in school for very long before they get another break, which makes it tough to get in a rhythm with work and career goals. Plus, we're constantly arranging day camps and other childcare options for all the time off. After a quick search, I can confirm I'm not losing my mind: American kids have fewer school days than most other major countries.

 school's out, school days, school week, work week, schedules Schools Out Fun GIF by Pen Pals  Giphy  

So, it caught my attention in a major way when I read that Whitney Independent School District in Texas recently decided to enact a four-day week heading into the 2025 school year. That makes it one of dozens of school districts in Texas to make the change and over 900 nationally.

The thought of having the kids home from school EVERY Friday or Monday makes me want to break out in stress hives, but this four-day school week movement isn't designed to give parents a headache. It's meant to lure teachers back to work.

Yes, teachers are leaving the profession in droves and young graduates don't seem eager to replace them. Why? For starters, the pay is bad—but that's just the beginning. Teachers are burnt out, undermined and criticized relentlessly, held hostage by standardized testing, and more. It can be a grueling, demoralizing, and thankless job. The love and passion they have for shaping the youth of tomorrow can only take you so far when you feel like you're constantly getting the short end of the stick.

School districts want to pay their teachers more, in theory, but their hands are often tied. So, they're getting creative to recruit the next generation of teachers into their schools—starting with an extra day off for planning, catch-up, or family time every week.

Teachers in four-day districts often love the new schedule. Kids love it (obviously). It's the parents who, as a whole, aren't super thrilled.

 school, kids, teachers, instruction time, classes, schedule Class in session Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash  

So far, the data shows that the truncated schedule perk is working. In these districts, job applications for teachers are up, retirements are down, and teachers are reporting better mental well-being. That's great news!

But these positive developments may be coming at the price of the working parents in the communities. Most early adopters of the four-day week have been rural communities with a high prevalence of stay-at-home parents. As the idea starts to take hold in other parts of the country, it's getting more pushback. Discussions on Reddit, Facebook, and other social media platforms are overrun with debate on how this is all going to shake up. Some parents, to be fair, like the idea! If they stay-at-home or have a lot of flexibility, they see it as an opportunity for more family time. But many are feeling anxious. Here's what's got those parents worried:

The effect on students' achievement is still unclear.

The execution of the four-day week varies from district to district. Some schools extend the length of each of the four days, making the total instructional time the same. That makes for a really long day, and some teachers say the students are tired and more unruly by the late afternoon. Some districts are just going with less instruction time overall, which has parents concerned that their kids might fall behind.

Four-day school weeks put parents in a childcare bind.

Having two working parents is becoming more common and necessary with the high cost of living. I know, I know—"school isn't daycare!" But it is the safe, reliable, and educational place we send our kids while we we work.

Families with money and resources may be able to enroll their kids in more academics, extracurriculars, sports, or childcare, but a lot of normal families won't be able to afford that cost. Some schools running a four-day week offer a paid childcare option for the day off, but that's an added expense and for families with multiple kids in the school system, it's just not possible.

This will inevitably end with some kids getting way more screentime.

With most parents still working five-day weeks, and the cost of extra activities or childcare too high, a lot of kids are going to end up sitting around on the couch with their iPad on those days off. I'm no expert, and I'm certainly not against screentime, but adding another several hours of it to a child's week seems less than ideal.

Of course there are other options other than paid childcare and iPads. There are play dates, there's getting help from family and friends. All of these options are an enormous amount of work to arrange for parents who are already at capacity.

Working four days is definitely a win for teachers that makes the job more appealing. But it doesn't address the systemic issues that are driving them to quit, retire early, or give up their dreams of teaching all together.

 teachers, stress, education, work, job Season 3 Running GIF by The Simpsons  Giphy  

A Commissioner of Education from Missouri calls truncated schedules a "band-aid solution with diminishing returns." Having an extra planning day won't stop teachers from getting scapegoated by politicians or held to impossible curriculum standards, it won't keep them from having to buy their own supplies or deal with ever-worsening student behavior.

Some teachers and other experts have suggested having a modified five-day school week, where one of the days gets set aside as a teacher planning day while students are still on-site participating in clubs, music, art—you know, all the stuff that's been getting cut in recent years. Something like that could work in some places.

As a dad, I don't mind the idea of my busy kids having an extra day off to unwind, pursue hobbies, see friends, catch up on projects, or spend time as a family. And I'm also very much in favor of anything that takes pressure off of overworked teachers. But until we adopt a four-day work week as the standard, the four-day school week is always going to feel a little out of place.

This article originally appeared in February. It has been updated.

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Women's Health

Women may blame their pillow for having a stiff neck. Study shows it could be hormonal.

Perimenopause strikes again.

Photo credit: Canva

Women may blame their pillow for a stiff neck, it could be hormones

Waking up with a stiff neck or a tension headache is a pain...literally. For some women, it seems like a never ending cycle of searching for a new pillow. They walk out of the store confident they've found the perfect pillow only to wake up with a stiff neck or tension headache days later–rinse and repeat. If this sounds familiar and you're over the age of 35, your pillow may not be to blame at all.

As women of a certain age wonder what's going on with their necks while they sleep, researchers say the problem is likely hormonal. Menopause is no secret. While the word was once whispered to close confidants or replaced with the phrase "the change" (as if women were becoming vampires), conversations happen openly now. Because of this shift, women feel more prepared for the process to occur...when they're over 50...but many people are finding out "the change" starts happening years before menopause.

 perimenopause; stiff neck; best pillow; pillow for stiff neck; menopause; women and stiff neck; tension headaches Struggling with hot flashes, woman tries to keep cool.Photo credit: Canva

This process is called perimenopause, which is essentially pre-menopause, and the process can start as early as 35 and last up to a decade. Of course, genetics, health, and other biological factors determine how early the perimenopause stage starts for a woman, but it always starts the same–declining hormones. According to researchers, hormones control a lot of what's going on in someone's body, so any influx or reduction of these chemicals can have negative effects (including musculoskeletal performance).

"Both estrogen and testosterone are present in males and females. Both hormones contribute to the wellbeing of skeletal muscle and bone in men and women, and there is evidence that the loss of sex hormones is associated with the age-related decline in bone and skeletal muscle mass," Marybeth Brown writes in the article "Skeletal muscle and bone: effect of sex steroids and aging" for the journal Advances in Physiology Education.

 perimenopause; stiff neck; best pillow; pillow for stiff neck; menopause; women and stiff neck; tension headaches Woman experiences back pain at home.Photo credit: Canva

It's those decreases in sex hormones that researchers say may be a contributing factor to perimenopausal women's musculoskeletal issues—which would include a stiff neck. While currently researchers aren't specifically looking at the link between declining hormones and stiff neck isolated from the rest of the musculoskeletal system, declining hormones explains why these aches, pains, and injuries happen.

The Menopause Society, a nonprofit that empowers healthcare professionals with evidenced-based resources says, “Hormonal fluctuations during perimenopause and menopause can cause muscle tension. This tension can manifest in various body parts, with the neck being a common area.”

Recently, a woman sought answers to her stiff neck in a menopause group, saying, "I've seen a lot of blanket talk, but not much about pillows. I get night sweats and also lately I've had some neck pain that is unrelated to perimenopause (I think). I want a better pillow than I have, but it needs to be able to get washed from all the sweating. What works for you? And how do you wash it? Memory foam? Shredded...latex? or is it just plain shredded foam? Wool? Buckwheat husks? Something else?"

 perimenopause; stiff neck; best pillow; pillow for stiff neck; menopause; women and stiff neck; tension headaches Waking up with a sore neck.Photo credit: Canva

Much to the woman's surprise, she was flooded with comments from other women sharing they are also experiencing a stiff neck no matter what type of pillow they use. While several women shared their favorite type of pillow (memory foam seems to be the winner), others commiserated or were happy they weren't alone in the struggle.

One woman responded, "Just saw this post. Glad I did. My neck has been killing me over the last 3 months. I've bought so many pillows. Right now the shredded memory foam seems to be ok right now. Then I decided to do a quick search about neck pain and perimenopause....I'm pretty sure I have every symptom under the moon.... Currently on STD because of perimenopause is absolutely debilitating for me. Neck pain is a common symptom during perimenopause and menopause, often linked to declining estrogen levels and their impact on joint health and muscle function. This can manifest as aches, stiffness, and even frozen shoulder."

 perimenopause; stiff neck; best pillow; pillow for stiff neck; menopause; women and stiff neck; tension headaches Office worker stretching to relieve back pain.Photo credit: Canva

Researchers Nkechinyere Chidi-Ogbolu and Keith Baar explain in their article "Effect of Estrogen on Musculoskeletal Performance and Injury Risk" in the journal Frontiers in Physiology, "Consistent with a role for estrogen in regulating musculoskeletal function, menstruating women suffer more ACL ruptures than men and menopause is characterized by increased risk of musculoskeletal injury, accelerated bone and muscle wasting, and decreased sensitivity to anabolic stimuli. To counteract many of the negative aspects of menopause, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) has been used to reduce muscle and bone loss, and restore muscle protein balance."

So if you've been struggling with neck pain and are over the age of 35, have ruled out injury or another cause by your doctor, it just might be hormones. There's no stopping a decline in your natural hormone levels as you age, but there may be things that can help when working with your physician. In the meantime, here's to restful nights and a good memory foam pillow.

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Kids

A 6-yr-old's art teacher said she did her painting 'wrong'. Professional artists disagreed.

Someone is wrong in this story, but it's not the 6-year-old.

Gemma Leighton/Twitter
A 6-yr-old's art teacher said she did her painting 'wrong' and the responses are just great

The impulse and ability to create art is one of the highlights of being human. It's a key quality that sets us apart from the animal world, one that makes life more meaningful and enjoyable. While there are artistic skills that make it easier for people to bring their imaginations into the visible, tangible world, art doesn't abide by any hard and fast rules. Especially kids' art. Especially young kids' art.

There is no right or wrong in art, only expression and interpretation. That's the beauty of it. Unlike working with numbers and spreadsheets and data, there is no correct answer and no one way to arrive at the proper destination. As the famous quote from Dead Poet's Society goes, "Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for."

That's why one mom was furious when her 6-year-old's art teacher told the girl her painting was "wrong."

Gemma Leighton, mother of 6-year-old Edie, shared her daughter's painting on Twitter with a request for support. Edie created the painting in an after school art club, and her art teacher told her she did it wrong.

"You can't do art wrong!" wrote Leighton. "She was so upset as art is her favourite thing to do."


 

Now, we don't know exactly what the teacher said to Edie, or why, but if a 6-year-old comes home upset and feeling like there's something wrong with their art, the teacher did something wrong. Full stop. Six-year-olds are just beginning to learn about technique, and encouragement is the most vital thing a teacher can offer a budding artist.

The internet rightfully pounced to Edie's defense, and the responses are incredibly heartwarming.

Many people shared how hurt they were as children when a teacher told them something was wrong with their art—and that they were wrong. Knowing that grown-ups had experienced the same kinds of unnecessary criticism as kids and realized that it was wrong can help Edie feel confident that her painting is not "wrong."

Others pointed out the famous artists that her painting reminded them of. Seeing how her own painting reflects some of the style and color choices of professional artists can help Edie see the spark of genius in her own artwork.

 

Songwriter Kimya Dawson, most famous for her songs in the movie Juno, shared that a middle school English teacher had told her to stop writing poems because they were "too juvenile."

"I never stopped though and making rhyming poems has been my career for over 20 years!" Dawson wrote in a Reply. "Your painting is perfect! Keep it up! Don't worry what anyone else thinks."

Professional artists chimed in with words of encouragement, pointing out that Edie's use of perspective and expressionism were quite impressive for her age.

"The only 'wrong' is not making art that speaks from your heart," wrote an artist who goes by @Artsy on Twitter. "When she expresses her passion, her vision of her world, her personal reactions to what she sees and feels, she'll never be 'wrong.'"

Now that's how it's done! Experts say that not just general encouragement, but pointing out specific things in a child's work that are the building blocks of art and literacy are key to building their self-esteem. In fact, the creative process in and of itself is great at building a child's self-esteem! It allows them to practice independence and feel immense pride at their finished product, no matter what anyone thinks it looks like. Really the only way to turn art into a negative thing for a child is to criticize it.

Even KISS guitarist Paul Stanley offered Edie words of encouragement.

 art, artists, kids, children, kids art, imagination, play, creativity, self-esteem, education, teachers, parents, moms Judging technique can come later. Way later. For now, just let kids create.  Photo by Bahar Ghiasi on Unsplash  

"Your art is AWESOME!!!" he wrote.

"There is no such thing as doing art 'wrong.' There are only teachers who are wrong!!! Your art shows amazing freedom and spirit. How can that be 'wrong'?!?! Keep doing EXACTLY what you are doing. I LOVE it!!!"

 

Imagine being a heartbroken 6-year-old who has been told by a teacher that her art was wrong, and then seeing a flood of thousands of supportive comments from people who looked at the same piece of art and told you what they loved about it. This is how social media should be used. To lift people up, to encourage and inspire, to share beauty and creativity.

After the outpouring, Leighton created a new Twitter account called Edie's Art for people to share kids' artwork, and gracious, it's a delight to peruse.

There's nothing more pure, more colorful, more full of life than art that came from a child's imagination. They may not have the technical skills to perfectly create what they envision in their minds or what they're looking at for inspiration, but that's part of what makes it so beautiful. They aren't self-conscious enough yet to hold back, and their art comes from a place of confidence and acceptance of their own abilities—that is, until some adult comes along and squashes their artistic spirit.

 

One of my favorite things as a parent has been watching my kids' artistic expressions evolve as they've grown, and I've loved their artwork at every stage. And not just because I'm their mom, but because kid creations are the best reminder of how natural the human impulse to create really is, and how beautiful it is when we share that impulse without fear or doubt.

As for Edie, she didn't let that early criticism keep her down. The original story happened about four years ago, and today Evie continues to pursue art. Her mom still occasionally shares the odd piece or two on Twitter/X, and even posted a fun stop-motion video Evie created using one of her stuffed animals. Clearly, her creative spirit could not be suppressed so easily.

"Edie is now immersed in the digital art world and still creates wonderful things every day Keep creating little artists," her mom shared in a recent update on X.

Keep painting, Edie, and all you kiddos out there. Don't let one person's opinion—even a teacher's—hold you back.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

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She asked her 3rd graders to design custom Squishmallows. Then she brought each one to life.

One by one, Ms. Zhou sewed 27 unique plushies herself, each complete with a hidden heart.

Courtesy of @inspo_by_jess/Instagram

Ms. Zhou brought each of her students' Squishmallow designs to life in her free time.

As a teacher, Jess Zhou knows that lessons are not confined to academic curricula or instruction. Kids are always learning, and the interactions and experiences they have with teachers help them grow and gain confidence in their abilities far beyond the classroom.

That's one reason why Ms. Zhou took advantage of the time after the school day ended, as her third graders were waiting to be picked up, to create a unique experience for her students. Zhou asked them to create a custom Squishmallow (a popular plushie that have been all the rage), and then, one by one, she brought each of their designs to life by sewing them herself. It took the better part of the year, but every student got to take home a Squishmallow they'd personally designed.

 

Zhou shared with Upworthy how the project came about:

"I have been making custom graduation gifts for students over the years, but it was a lot of cramming to do it within the last month of school, so I decided to create one a week this year and document the process. I was inspired to use the Squishmallow shape because I noticed students were talking about how they liked to collect Squishmallow plushies.

Back in October 2024, I gave students a blank page and asked them to design their own Squishmallow character and describe their personality traits. They didn't know at the time that their designs would come to life as plushies. I did most of the sewing on weekends and used scrap fabric I had accumulated over the years to make the plushies.

It was definitely a big surprise when the first Squishmallow emerged out of the box, and each student got an adoption ceremony where their design was revealed in front of the whole class, and each student got to put a felt heart inside their plushie before it was sewn shut (akin to a build-a-bear experience). They also got to sign an adoption certificate. All 27 plushies came to life by the end of the year!"

"This project in particular was about empowering students as designers," Zhou tells Upworthy. "Students got to appreciate each step of the design process, and students got to see their work as masterpieces rather than just assignments."

Zhou says the kids are now excited to design other things as well. "I want students to develop real-world skills that will set them up for later-life success," she says, sharing that she has also taught her young students about voting, taxes, and AI literacy.

Part of the project was also repairing the Squishmallows if they break. They went to "the hospital" if that happened, and Zhou fixed whatever wounds they had, from missing eyeballs to torn seams.

Zhou also demonstrated thoughtfulness and generosity for her students when another teacher reached out after seeing one of her videos and asked if she knew where to find a wedding Squishmallow. The teacher was a Squishmallow collector and was preparing for her own wedding, so Zhou created bride and groom Squishmallows for her based on designs from that teacher's students.

 

Zhou teaches in Los Angeles and shared that the last school year was a tough transition for the students as their previous school site was shut down and two schools were combined. "This was a big change for students because they had to get used to the new school and make new friends," Zhou says, "so the plushies created a special bonding experience because it brought the students together and allowed them to make core memories at the new school."

In fact, she says that two of her students had created similar designs for their plushies, which can sometimes cause tension as the students accuse one another of copying. "But after the adoption ceremonies, these girls told me that they collaborated on their designs and that their characters were 'sisters,'" says Zhou. "These girls had come from different schools in 2nd grade, and after working together on many school projects, they became good friends in 3rd grade. After school, I was walking home when I heard tapping on the bus window, and the girls gestured towards their plushies, which were seated next to each other on the bus! It was a really sweet moment that they wanted to make sure I saw."

Check out how cool and diverse the kids' designs were:

 squishmallow designs, teacher creates custom squishmallows, squishmallows, toys, teaching, kids Like very student, every Squishmallow is unique.Image courtesy of Jess Zhou

 

So many teachers go above and beyond the call of duty to give their students an education that goes far beyond academics, and Ms. Zhou is a prime example. This next school year, she will be moving up to middle school to teach STEM, and surely those students will benefit from her creativity and dedication as much as her younger students have. We wish you the best in your new position, Ms. Zhou!

 students, teacher, squishmallows Ms. Zhou with some of her students and their custom squishmallowsPhoto courtesy of Jess Zhou

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Brain scans show that grandmas connect with their grandkids better than their own children

Was your mom hard on you, but spoils her grandkids? There's an evolutionary reason behind it.

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A grandmother and grandchild share a special evolutionary bond.

It can be annoying, as a parent, when your own mom or dad who was super hard on you growing up, dotes and fawns all over their grandchildren. Something about becoming a grandparent turns even the hardest of souls into a big old softy. And, as rejected as it can sometimes make grown-ups feel, it turns out there might be a good reason for this phenomenon — especially in women. It's called the "grandmother effect."

For the past 55 years, scientists have theorized that a major reason why humans live so much longer past their reproductive years than other species is because of grandmothers. The "grandmother effect," as it's known, postulates that in hunter-gatherer societies, grandmothers played a vital role in finding food and raising children. In fact, the grandmother's role was so important that it had a huge impact on whether or not children survived.

 grandmas, evolution, grandma effect, grandmother effect, grandparents, parenting, family, love, kids, children Grandmas played a key role in the survival of early society families.  Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash  

"By relieving a mother of some of her child-raising responsibilities, so the thinking goes, grandmothers make it easier for their daughters to have more children and also make it possible for those children to have longer lives by helping them during the difficult early years of life," Haider J. Warraich writes in Stat. Two studies further this hypothesis by showing the important roles that grandmothers have in the survival of their grandchildren. A study of birth and death records in Finland for individuals born between 1731 and 1890 found that having a maternal grandmother between the ages of 50 and 75 increased a child's survival rate.

Another study found that proximity to grandmother matters, too. The shorter the distance between grandmother and grandchild, the more involved the grandmother can be and the more benefits that accrue to her daughter and grandchildren.

In others words, grandmothers in early societies weren't just laying around like Charlie Bucket's grannies in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. They were actively involved in lightening the childcare load, which benefitted just about everyone in the family.

The grandmother effect could be a major reason why a new study shows that grandmothers may feel a closer emotional bond to their grandchildren than their own offspring.

A study by James Rilling of Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia published in "The Royal Society" measured brain function in 50 grandmothers with at least one biological grandchild between 3 and 12 years old.

 grandmas, evolution, grandma effect, grandmother effect, grandparents, parenting, family, love, kids, children Give grandma a break if she can't stop loving on the kids.  Photo by 𝔥𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔯𝔶 𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔞 on Unsplash  

Grandmothers were shown photos of their grandchild, an unknown child, an unknown adult and the same-sex parent of the grandchild. The study found that when a grandmother saw a photo of their grandchild it activated parts of their brain associated with emotional empathy and movement.

When the grandmothers saw a photo of their adult child, it activated areas of the brain associated with cognitive empathy. So, to put it simply, when shown the pictures, the grandmothers were attempting to emotionally empathize with their grandchildren while trying to cognitively understand what their adult children were thinking.

That emotional empathy is extremely powerful and visceral. Cognitive empathy is useful, but is one layer removed. You can logically understand what someone is thinking or feeling without actually feeling it yourself. Emotional empathy is much more involved and tangible.

"That suggests that grandmothers are geared toward feeling what their grandchildren are feeling when they interact with them," Rilling said in an Emory news article. "If their grandchild is smiling, they're feeling the child's joy. And if their grandchild is crying, they're feeling the child's pain and distress."

Given the importance of the grandmother effect, it's no surprise that our grandmothers seem to be hardwired to love us in the deepest way possible. Science shows that without this incredible bond, humans may not have made it this far. Conversely, it also shows that without having such an important role in their post-reproductive years, our grandparents may not have evolved to live so long.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

In the end, the relationship appears to be symbiotic. Grandmothers promote the survival of a child who one day may grow up to be a grandparent and live longer because they have such an important role in the life of their grandchild.

So if your mom was a tough cookie growing up but suddenly seems to be all sugar and gumdrops when the grandbabies are around, don't take it personally. It's embedded in her DNA to love and care for them. Without the responsibility of being the primary caregiver (who are usually just trying to survive the day to day), grandmothers are free to spoil, snuggle, and connect with their grandkids in a way sometimes they never could with their own children. It's a natural process, and ultimately a good thing. If you're lucky enough to have an involved grandma, the science says you should consider yourself lucky!

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

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