A Muslim-American mother explains what it's like to talk to her kids about terrorism.

The other day, I was watching CNN when a picture of San Bernardino's female terrorist, Tashfeen Malik, flashed onto the screen.

My 6-year-old daughter immediately turned to me and exclaimed, "Mom, that bad girl is a Muslim!"

My heart stopped for a second. As a mother, I've tried shielding my children from news of ISIS and American terrorists — whether they shoot innocent people at an office party or a Planned Parenthood clinic. Isn't that a natural instinct for most parents, wanting to shield your young ones from life's ugly realities as much as possible?


Image via iStock.

Except there's only so much shielding you can do. Especially when you're a Muslim.

"Mom, that bad girl is a Muslim!" my daughter said. "Look, she's wearing a scarf on her head just like you do!" I'm not only a Muslim mother who wears a headscarf. I'm also a writer and public speaker, focusing on stories of Muslims and training law enforcement on cultural sensitivity. I often appear on radio and television to talk about the effects of these media stories on the average, law-abiding Muslim American. That means my 6-year-old daughter and 9-year-old son know a little too much about how ugly this world can be.

Image via iStock.

I want my children to feel safe and loved. But what do you tell your children when the news is full of people "of your tribe" doing something horrible and evil?

I've been digging into that question, searching for suggestions and insights from experts. And while I've found a lot of good advice for post-terrorism parenting making the rounds online, not all of it addresses the specific challenges my family, and so many others, are facing.

Here are some key pieces of advice most commonly shared by experts and how I've made them work for our family:

1. "Assure children that these attacks are rare and the chances of anything ever happening to them are next to nothing."

A friend recently told me that every time her high school son passes someone in the hallway, people yell, "Bomb!" Another friend told me her 7-year-old daughter was nicknamed "ISIS" by her classmates.

Even more than terrorist attacks, my children are scared about how others will view them because they look like some of the terrorists they're seeing on the news.

Image via iStock.

While President Obama has repeatedly cautioned us not to lump all Muslims into the same box, Muslims are still regularly on the receiving end of hate speech and threats.

Which is why we need to talk to our kids — all of them — about bullying.

In a world already hurting, we all need to work together to help Muslim children understand that they are not any less loved or valued because of their faith. (It's worth pointing out that many brown-skinned people like Sikhs and Hindus are mistaken for Muslim, too.)

Teachers, principals, and school administrators should do the same by reminding their staff and students that faith-based teasing is not acceptable.

Image by nick chapman/Flickr.

2. "Talk about how the child feels rather than giving information about the who, why, what, and where."

For my family, it's impossible to escape the "who." And it's (naturally) always followed by questions about why. The day after the San Bernardino attack, my son, listening to the news in the car on the way to school, asked me, "Mommy, if those people were Muslim, why did they kill someone? Don't they know Islam means peace?" These aren't easy questions, and I don't have all the answers.

But I take this opportunity to talk to my children about Islam and its inherently peaceful teachings.

We looked through the Quran and found the verse, "Whoever kills a soul … it is as if he has killed all mankind, and whoever saves a soul, it is as if he has saved all mankind" (5:32).

I show them all the commandments about being peaceful, kind, loving, and just. That's the reaffirmation of faith I and my family need in times like these.

Image by Tarang hirani/Flickr.

3. "Shut off the television and radio and spend time with the family."

I want to be able to shut it all off. Yet I need to stay connected — not just for work, but for my sense of my family's safety. Switching off the television means not knowing what presidential candidates are saying, how Muslims are responding, what the latest advisories by Muslim civil rights groups are, and so much more.

That's why I'm trying to focus on listening to unbiased news reports instead of talk shows full of hateful rhetoric when my kids are around.

After my son casually told his sister that the word Islamic is actually a code word for evil, I stopped listening to the radio in the car when I drop my kids off at school. I find websites like Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting and some NPR programs to be more balanced than the main cable news channels.

Ultimately, that's the best way I know to protect my children from the painful words others are using against their faith, and I'm hoping other parents do the same so that we don't promote intolerance in future generations.

Image via iStock.

4. "Remind children that many people in the government and the community are working hard to keep them safe."

While that's certainly true of terrorist attacks, it's harder to make the case for Muslims right now. Adults and children are being harassed in the street, spit on in buses, and so much more. My children can see what the American Muslim community is going through, and it's almost impossible to shield them from it.

Last week, the father of my daughter's friend was escorted off a plane for looking suspicious and then detained by the police for hours. His face on the news was recognizable and she cried, "Mom, why did the police catch Amna's dad?" It's so heartbreaking and frustrating to watch my children grow wary and afraid.

I told her that loving other people, taking care of them, and making sure we help them when they're in need is what makes a Muslim.

That's why it's so important to get involved in showcasing a positive side of Islam and Muslims.

Whether you're a Muslim or not, getting to know your Muslim neighbors, visiting Islamic organizations, and learning about the positive contributions Muslims make in their communities can change the narrative and counter stereotypes. Virtually every city with a Muslim presence has a charitable or social service arm.

This week, my kids and I are buying holiday gifts as part of a mosque project to give to sick children in our local cancer hospital. You can also contact your nearest charity or two of the largest national charitable organizations — Islamic Relief USA and ICNA Relief — for projects to help with.

Image via iStock.

At the end of the day, keeping communication open is key. Sometimes only an honest heart-to-heart talk with your child will do.

When my daughter was so upset about seeing a terrorist wearing the same head covering as her mother, I told her to remember there are bad people in the world, no matter their religion.

I told her that loving other people, taking care of them, and making sure we help them when they're in need is what makes a Muslim.

I told her we are in this world to be kind and good.

I coaxed her into a better mood by telling her stories of the Prophet Muhammad who gave up everything he had for others. I'm an author after all, and I know the power of storytelling.

My daughter was silent for a long time, which means she was thinking about what I said.

At her age, I know I'll have likely have to repeat the message many times. But at least she was thinking about it, and today, that's all I can pray for.

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Should a man lose his home because the grass in his yard grew higher than 10 inches? The city of Dunedin, Florida seems to think so.

According to the Institute of Justice, which is representing Jim Ficken, he had a very good reason for not mowing his lawn – and tried to rectify the situation as best he could.

In 2014, Jim's mom became ill and he visited her often in South Carolina to help her out. When he was away, his grass grew too long and he was cited by a code office; he cut the grass and wasn't fined.

France has started forcing supermarkets to donate food instead of throwing it away.

But several years later, this one infraction would come back to haunt him after he left to take care of him's mom's affairs after she died. The arrangements he made to have his grass cut fell through (his friend who he asked to help him out passed away unexpectedly) and that set off a chain reaction that may result in him losing his home.

The 69-year-old retiree now faces a $29,833.50 fine plus interest. Watch the video to find out just what Jim is having to deal with.

Mow Your Lawn or Lose Your House! www.youtube.com

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The world officially loves Michelle Obama.

The former first lady has overtaken the number one spot in a poll of the world's most admired women. Conducted by online research firm YouGov, the study uses international polling tools to survey people in countries around the world about who they most admire.

In the men's category, Bill Gates took the top spot, followed by Barack Obama and Jackie Chan.

In the women's category, Michelle Obama came first, followed by Oprah Winfrey and Angelina Jolie. Obama pushed Jolie out of the number one spot she claimed last year.

Unsurprising, really, because what's not to love about Michelle Obama? She is smart, kind, funny, accomplished, a great dancer, a devoted wife and mother, and an all-around, genuinely good person.

She has remained dignified and strong in the face of rabid masses of so-called Americans who spent eight years and beyond insisting that she's a man disguised as a woman. She's endured non-stop racist memes and terrifying threats to her family. She has received far more than her fair share of cruelty, and always takes the high road. She's the one who coined, "When they go low, we go high," after all.

She came from humble beginnings and remains down to earth despite becoming a familiar face around the world. She's not much older than me, but I still want to be like Michelle Obama when I grow up.

Her memoir, Becoming, may end up being the best-selling memoir of all time, having already sold 10 million copies—a clear sign that people can't get enough Michelle, because there's no such thing as too much Michelle.

Don't like Michelle Obama? Don't care. Those of us who love her will fly our MO flags high and without apology, paying no mind to folks with cold, dead hearts who don't know a gem of a human being when they see one. There is nothing any hater can say or do to make us admire this undeniably admirable woman any less.

When it seems like the world has lost its mind—which is how it feels most days these days—I'm just going to keep coming back to this study as evidence that hope for humanity is not lost.

Here. Enjoy some real-life Michelle on Jimmy Kimmel. (GAH. WHY IS SHE SO CUTE AND AWESOME. I can't even handle it.)

Michelle & Barack Obama are Boring Now www.youtube.com

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What will future generations never believe that we tolerated in 2019?

Dolphin and orca captivity, for sure. They'll probably shake their heads at how people died because they couldn't afford healthcare. And, they'll be completely mystified at the amount of food some people waste while others go starving.

According to Biological Diversity, "An estimated 40 percent of the food produced in the United States is wasted every year, costing households, businesses and farms about $218 billion annually."

There are so many things wrong with this.

First of all it's a waste of money for the households who throw out good food. Second, it's a waste of all of the resources that went into growing the food, including the animals who gave their lives for the meal. Third, there's something very wrong with throwing out food when one in eight Americans struggle with hunger.

Supermarkets are just as guilty of this unnecessary waste as consumers. About 10% of all food waste are supermarket products thrown out before they've reached their expiration date.

Three years ago, France took big steps to combat food waste by making a law that bans grocery stores from throwing away edible food.According to the new ordinance, stores can be fined for up to $4,500 for each infraction.

Previously, the French threw out 7.1 million tons of food. Sixty-seven percent of which was tossed by consumers, 15% by restaurants, and 11% by grocery stores.

This has created a network of over 5,000 charities that accept the food from supermarkets and donate them to charity. The law also struck down agreements between supermarkets and manufacturers that prohibited the stores from donating food to charities.

"There was one food manufacturer that was not authorized to donate the sandwiches it made for a particular supermarket brand. But now, we get 30,000 sandwiches a month from them — sandwiches that used to be thrown away," Jacques Bailet, head of the French network of food banks known as Banques Alimentaires, told NPR.

It's expected that similar laws may spread through Europe, but people are a lot less confident at it happening in the United States. The USDA believes that the biggest barrier to such a program would be cost to the charities and or supermarkets.

"The logistics of getting safe, wholesome, edible food from anywhere to people that can use it is really difficult," the organization said according to Gizmodo. "If you're having to set up a really expensive system to recover marginal amounts of food, that's not good for anybody."

Plus, the idea may seem a little too "socialist" for the average American's appetite.

"The French version is quite socialist, but I would say in a great way because you're providing a way where they [supermarkets] have to do the beneficial things not only for the environment, but from an ethical standpoint of getting healthy food to those who need it and minimizing some of the harmful greenhouse gas emissions that come when food ends up in a landfill," Jonathan Bloom, the author of American Wasteland, told NPR.

However, just because something may be socialist doesn't mean it's wrong. The greater wrong is the insane waste of money, damage to the environment, and devastation caused by hunger that can easily be avoided.

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The world is dark and full of terrors, but every once in a while it graces us with something to warm our icy-cold hearts. And that is what we have today, with a single dad who went viral on Twitter after his daughter posted the photos he sent her when trying to pick out and outfit for his date. You love to see it.




After seeing these heartwarming pics, people on Twitter started suggesting this adorable man date their moms. It was essentially a mom and date matchmaking frenzy.

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