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9 super simple things people can do to save money that are often overlooked

Doing all of these things really adds up.

man driving, woman flossing

People might not consider driving the speed limit to taking care of your teeth as money-savers, but they are.

No matter how the economy is doing at any given time, people are always looking for ways to save money. Rents go up. Job losses happen. Kids need braces. Retirement looms.

Financial advice often focuses on where to put your money for the best returns, but that advice is only helpful if you have extra money to save or invest. Money-saving tips can help free up some cash to save or invest, and they can also help you avoid having to put borrow money or use credit for things you can't immediately afford.

While some people understandably scoff at frugal tips like "eat less avocado toast"—as if saving a few bucks here and there will solve the housing crisis or make college affordable—there is something to be said for small amounts adding up. For instance, not buying a soda when you're eating out to save $4 may not seem like much, but if you did that once a week, you'd save over $200 in a year. Not a fortune, but nothing to sneeze at either.

And if you start combining lots of small money-saving habits like that, you may be surprised at what a difference it makes. Here are nine super simple ways people can save money—but often don't—from users on Reddit:


Take good care of your teeth

"An ounce of prevention's worth a pound of cure," as the saying goes. Toothbrushes and dental floss are cheap. Cavities, root canals and gum disease are wicked expensive. Good oral hygiene may not be the first thing you think of when it comes to saving money, but ask anyone who has neglected their teeth how much it has cost them in the long run.

"Take care of your teeth: brush and floss everyday - preventative care now will save you THOUSANDS later if you need major dental work!

"Yup. This is often overlooked advice. My mom had lost most of her teeth by the time she was my age (40). She always said that this was her biggest regret in life. Because of this, my siblings and I have always been pretty good about taking care of our teeth. Right now my mom has dentures that don't fit well because she lost another of her remaining teeth but can't afford new dentures."

"As someone who has paid a thousand and will pay many thousands more in the near future…yes. Take care of your teeth."

"Can confirm! Just spent 20,000 on my teeth. Talk about eye opening!!!"

Only drink water

Drinks are expensive, and not just fancy ones. A basic soda will set you back $3 or $4 minimum at most restaurants, and everything else goes up from there. Water is free. Even at home, you can save a lot by simply drinking water. It's a simple rule that helps improve the health of your body as well as your bank account.

"Drink water at restaurants and not soda."

"Only drink water. Not only will you save money, but your body will love you for this as well. Win\win."

"Water is my biggy. Don't drink soda period. Filtered at home. Doing this for 5 years and seriously tastes so good."

"Yep. Just take a look at what restaurants charge for a soda. It's usually around $3 now. Then, look at how many empty calories are in a 20 oz soda. It's basically 10% of your daily value on just one drink. Not worth it."

"If I learned anything in the military... drinking more water solves 99% of all problems."

Use the library (not just for books)

Free reading material? No brainer. But libraries have so many more free services that people often don't know about. From movies to language learning apps to artwork and tools you can check out, the range of things you can get from the library is wild. Definitely worth checking out your local public library's offerings if you haven't lately.

"Make use of free services. Mostly, the local library. Sometimes there's a feeling that just because it's free it's trashy or peasant-like. I don't need to pay to see something in order to feel good about it. And libraries are amazing! Free books! Audio books! So many things."

"My library has tools and equipment available to borrow. Before going to big orange to rent a pressure washer, floor sander, paint sprayer, or post auger, I always check the library first lol"

"Public libraries are a gold mine for (almost) free. Ask them about their other options (than books, movies, music, etc.). Many libraries offer museum passes. I’ve heard of fishing poles. My library has a seed library."

"Ours you can check out a sewing machine. Plus attend a free workshop to learn how to sew!"

Ditch DoorDash

I know. All of those food delivery services are so convenient. But they're also soooo expensive. If you're in money-saving mode, definitely avoid these services like the plague. Just pretend they don't exist (because they literally didn't until very recently).

"This. Your meal is easily 50% more expensive when you factor in delivery fees and a tip. and some restaurants charge more on door dash than they do in-person."

"Delivery fee? That's just the tip of it! Ever notice how there still is a bunch of extra fees on top even when they offer you the delivery fee for free?"

"And to make it worse, I tell myself that I have to order more food to justify the delivery fee! So now just paying more and overeating."

"It really is an addictive habit. We started using it during the pandemic and it really just was a bit of convenience that we found hard to give up because it was so easy... Pick up your phone, order, get delivery, eat, done... Every time we saw the card, we knew that the delivery fees were what was pushing our eating out budget way over but after a hard day of work and school, it was easy to convince ourselves that delivery is a worthwhile indulgence and the expenses add up real quick. It took us a lot of introspection and telling ourselves that we were 'sacrificing' for the future, and all that to stop ordering via delivery apps and within a couple of months, we saw us being closer to managing our budget."

Drop addictive substances

Addiction is a huge and tricky challenge, for sure, and I don't want to minimize how difficult this tip might be for some. But drinking, drugs, smoking, vaping, gambling—they all cost a lot of money. And the addictive nature of them means that you'll just keep spending more and more.

"Quit addictive habits: Smoking, drinking, coffee, weed, etc. They're all expensive and you'd save a bundle quitting. But people don't because they think those things make life better. Some do and some don't, but the monetary savings can't be discounted. If you're broke, don't smoke or drink. Some people truly need weed for health problems. But nobody needs the others."

"Stop drinking and smoking, the government punishes you with a sin tax and makes big time bank of your vices."

"Seems obvious but quitting smoking. I see so many people complain about being broke but spend hundreds a month on ciggs."

"Stop drinking, smoking and going out so often. You'd be surprised how good sobriety feels! Even if you continue, just slow down!"

Say no to storage

Most of us have too much stuff. There is an entire industry around trying to help people pare down and "declutter," and there's an entire industry dedicated to renting people space to store their excess stuff. Making a rule to only hold onto the belongings that actually fit in your home will save you a lot of money in storage.

"More prevalent in the US, but get rid of your storage unit and most of the stuff in it. More often than not, you're paying more to store things that it would cost to buy it all again. If you can't fit it in your home, re-evaluate if you really need it."

"There are so many huge storage unit buildings in my area and it makes no sense to me. How important can this stuff be if you can't fit it in your home? I understand there are certain situations that require for a short term solution."

"That was my goal for 2022, Took me a few Saturdays to go through everything but it was worth it. I'm having over $200 a month now."

Cook at home a lot more

Even when inflation makes grocery prices uncomfortably high, it's still almost always cheaper—often significantly so—to cook food at home compared to eating out. Yes, that even goes for fast food. There are a million videos and social media channels dedicated to cooking and recipes can be found for free all over the internet.

"Cook at home 98% of the month."

"Cooking/meal prepping VS Eating out every night."

"Batch cooking saves both time and money. Like you can spend 2 hours making meals for the rest of the week. Paying 8-15 dollars to eat out adds up very, very fast, if you do it regularly, to keep up with work or personal schedules."

"Learn to cook what you like to eat."

Drive the speed limit

This isn't one people usually think about, but driving the speed limit saves you money in several ways. For one, it's gas-efficient, and with the cost of gas in some places, it's worth easing up on the gas pedal. Second, speeding tickets are expensive, plus they lead to higher insurance premiums.

"For those that don't get this: driving the speed limit avoids citations but also saves you gas, extends oil life and tires some, extends brakes quite a bit, and just generally lowers the wear and tear on your vehicle."

"This is so underrated, I don’t think enough people realize the extra cost of driving fast."

"It also only gets you there maybe 1-2 min faster, at best. Hitting Traffic lights at the wrong time will ruin any gains made by speeding. And only if you don’t get caught. Get caught and get points on your license, a fee, and it delays you 20-30 minutes."

"Your car insurance rates go up when you get tickets also. Get too many, and they may drop you."

"My step-sister was saying she pays the city about $500 a month in speeding tickets and parking tickets. The real wild thing is she said it like its a normal thing everyone has to deal with, like she was shocked when we didn't say 'Well that's for you. What can ya do?'"

Fix things yourself

Many people never consider trying to fix something themselves, assuming that sort of thing is best left to the experts. But there are so many resources now with YouTube videos and such that can help walk you through a lot of fix-it projects that can save you boatloads. Not everything can be a DIY, of course, but probably more than you might think.

"I've saved thousands of dollars by repairing things myself following YouTube videos. Washer, dryer, automotive stuff, cell phone screen replacements, etc."

"There is a website, repairclinic.com. They not only have tons of videos on how to fix stuff, but they also sell parts. I have a dryer that’s over 40 years old. I can’t get parts for it in regular stores. That website has been a lifesaver! I’ve been able to keep the thing going for the last decade and it works great! I’ve spent maybe $75 over the years to keep it running. Definitely cheaper than a new one."

"If you tackle things within reason it saves a butt load of money. $350 mechanic bill turns into $16 part and 1hr of your time."



Family

Naming twins is an art. Here are some twin names people say are the best they've ever heard.

With twins, all the regular pressures of having a baby are doubled, including choosing a name.

Are you in favor of rhyming twin names? Or is it too cutesy?

Having twins means double the fun, and double the pressure. It’s a fairly known rule to name twins in a way that honors their unique bond, but that can lead to overly cutesy pairings that feel more appropriate for nursery rhyme characters than actual people. Plus, it’s equally important for the names to acknowledge each twin’s individuality. Again, these are people—not a matching set of dolls. Finding the twin baby name balance is easier said than done, for sure.

Luckily, there are several ways to do this. Names can be linked by style, sound or meaning, according to the baby name website Nameberry. For example, two names that share a classic style would be Elizabeth and Edward, whereas Ione and Lionel share a similar rhythm. And Frederica and Milo seem to share nothing in common, but both mean “peaceful.”

Over on the /NameNerds subreddit, one person asked folks to share their favorite twin name pairings, and the answers did not disappoint.

One person wrote “Honestly, for me it’s hard to beat the Rugrats combo of Phillip and Lillian (Phil and Lil) 💕”

A few parents who gave their twin’s names that didn’t inherently rhyme until nicknames got involved:

"It's the perfect way! Christmas cards can be signed cutely with matching names, but when they act out you can still use their full name without getting tripped up.😂"

"The parents of a good friend of mine did this: her name is Allison and her sister is Callie. Their names don’t match on the surface, but they were Alli and Callie at home."

“Alice and Celia, because they’re anagrams! Sound super different but have a not-so-obvious implicit connection.”

This incited an avalanche of other anagram ideas: Aidan and Nadia, Lucas and Claus, Liam and Mila, Noel and Leon, Ira and Ria, Amy and May, Ira and Ari, Cole and Cleo…even Alice, Celia, and Lacie for triplets.

Others remembered name pairs that managed to sound lovely together without going into cutesy territory.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesThese matching bunny ears though. Photo credit: Canva

“I know twin toddler boys named Charlie and Archie and they go so well together,” one person commented.

Another wrote, “Tamia and Aziza. I love how they follow the same sound pattern with the syllable endings (-uh, -ee, -uh) without being obnoxiously matchy matchy.”

Still another said, “Lucy and Logan, fraternal girl/boy twins. I think the names sound so nice together, and definitely have the same 'vibe' and even though they have the same first letter they aren't too matchy-matchy.”

Other honorable mentions included: Colton and Calista, Caitlin and Carson, Amaya and Ameera, Alora and Luella, River and Rosie, and Eleanor and Elias.

One person cast a vote for shared style names, saying, “If I had twins, I would honestly just pick two different names that I like separately. I tend to like classic names, so I’d probably pick Daniel and Benjamin for boys. For girls my two favorites right now are Valerie and Tessa. I think Val and Tess would be cute together!”

Overall though, it seems that most folks were fans of names that focused on shared meaning over shared sound. Even better if there’s a literary or movie reference thrown in there.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesMany adult twins regret that their names are so closely linked together. Photo credit: Canva

“My mom works in insurance, so I asked her. She’s seen a lot of unique ones, but the only twins she remembers are Gwenivere [sic] and Lancelot... bonus points... little brother was Merlin,” one person recalled.

Another shared, “If I had twin girls, I would name them Ada and Hedy for Ada Lovelace and Hedy Lamarr, both very early computer/tech pioneers. Not that I’m that into tech, I just thought it was a brilliant combination.”

Other great ones: Susan and Sharon (think the original “Parent Trap”), Clementine and Cara (types of oranges), Esme and Etienne (French descent), Luna and Stella (moon and stars), Dawn and Eve, plus various plant pairings like Lily and Fern, Heather and Holly, and Juniper and Laurel.

Perhaps the cleverest name pairing goes to “Aubrey and Zoe,” since…wait for it… “they’re A to Z.”

It’s easy to see how naming twins really is a cool opportunity for parents to get creative and intentional with their baby naming. It might be a challenge, sure, but the potential reward is having the most iconic set of twins ever. Totally worth it!


This article originally appeared last year.

Teachers reveal they taught hungry after mom cries over empty classroom

It's August, which means a lot of kids have either started school already or are heading back. The back-to-school month also means an influx of parents voicing their grievances on the internet. Everything from not wanting their children to share school supplies to the teacher's wish list items. What is typically an exciting time for children can be a stressful time for parents and teachers for different reasons.

One disappointed mom took to the internet in tears due to the lack of classroom decor in her child's classroom for "meet the teacher." It could be that this is the mom's first time sending a little one off to school, as to the reason she didn't know that there would likely be more decorating happening before the first day of school. Either way, her tearful reaction to the lack of decorations caused a few teachers to reveal the reality they face.

teacher; teacher pay; low pay; teachers; mom cries; undecorated classroom; back to school Overwhelmed with emotion.Photo credit: Canva

Most teachers, especially those of little ones, want to have their classrooms decked out in all the colorful, age-appropriate decor, but in reality, that costs money. Often, money neither teachers nor the school districts have. This is why public school teachers have wish lists that they pass out before the first day of school; some even create Amazon lists so people outside of their district can help. It's a pretty common understanding that teachers don't make a lot of money, but for some parents, just how little teachers make may be overlooked.

A teacher who goes by Mrs. Frazzled on social media recently reacted to the post of the crying mom. In this case, the teacher lived up to her social media moniker because what followed was more PG-13 than her usual content. Someone who goes by the name Kubi responded to Mrs. Frazzled's rant with an eye-opening reality, "My first year as a teacher I made 27K and my room was empty because I could[n't] afford to buy things for it. and I didn't even get my first check until 30 days in so I taught HUNGRY the first month."

teacher; teacher pay; low pay; teachers; mom cries; undecorated classroom; back to school Stressed at the desk, seeking a moment of calm.Photo credit: Canva

The confession prompted Mrs. Frazzled to commiserate with her own, revealing, "I also taught hungry my first year of teaching. That's part of why this whole thing made me so freaking mad. I'll tell you my story as a first-year teacher because it is not a unique story by any means, clearly."

She goes on to share that student teaching isn't paid and comes at the end of teaching certification, which requires soon-to-be-teachers to teach during the day for free, then attend classes at night. This essentially means there's no feasible way for student teachers to make enough money to cover living expenses unless they forego their sleep. Mrs. Frazzled says that in the spring of her student teaching, she had a major life event that resulted in her looking for a new place to live on virtually no income.

"On the heels of this happening, I'm starting my first year as a teacher. And you do not get paid for the first month that you teach, so nine months, no work. Summer, very minimal work. Then you start school, and you need to have a fully furnished and ready classroom, because if you've seen a government-sponsored classroom, you know it is very barren in there."

The woman reveals that she couldn't afford to live in the area where she taught, so her commute was anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half. She also confesses that the only reason she had anything in her classroom was because "parents kinda carried me on my back financially." They purchased the things she needed, including a big, colorful rug that can run well over $500.

teacher; teacher pay; low pay; teachers; mom cries; undecorated classroom; back to school Storytime circle with kids and teachers in the classroom.Photo credit: Canva

"My first month of teaching, I was so stinking poor. I had a mattress on the floor, no refrigerator. I had a couch that I dumpster dove for, and I was driving Postmates after school so that I could get like $12 to buy dinner or whatever. I remember crying because I needed Q-Tips and I couldn't afford Q-Tips. I had to go Postmates for hours to make enough to buy Q-Tips. This is the reality of teaching in the United States," Mrs. Frazzled shares.

It's a reality check that some parents may not be ready to hear when their expectations fall short of the reality teachers are living. Feeling disappointed when something doesn't meet your expectations is understandable, but when it comes to classroom decor and supplies, it takes a village.

via Mattew Barra/Pexels
There's one word you can't say on a cruise ship.

There are some things you just don't say. You don't yell out "bomb!" on an airplane, make jokes about carrying weapons while going through security, or, as Michael Scott from The Office knows, loudly proclaim that a boat you're currently on is sinking.

Those are all pretty obvious examples, but sometimes etiquette and decorum are a little more subtle. If you're not experienced in the ways of the venue you're in, you might not know all the unspoken rules. And you might find out the hard way. Cruise ships, for example, have their own very specific set of rules and regulations that guests should abide by.

On December 10, 2023, Royal Caribbean’s Serenade of the Seas set sail on the Ultimate World Cruise—a 274-day global trek that visits 11 world wonders and over 60 countries.


cruise, 9-month cruise, Marc Sebastian, cruise life, vacation, titanic, unspoken rules, etiquette, cruise etiquette, royal caribbean 9 months is a very long time to be aboard a boat, even a giant cruise ship. Photo by Peter Hansen on Unsplash

This incredible trip covered the Americas, Asia Pacific, Middle East, Mediterranean and Europe with a ticket price that ranges from $53,999 to $117,599 per passenger.

With such a unique and incredible offering, it's understandable that Royal Caribbean wanted to invite plenty of influencers to help them get the word out.

Aboard the Serenade to the Seas was popular TikToker Marc Sebastian, who documented his experience throughout the journey. In one video with over 4.3 million views, he revealed what he’s learned over his first few weeks aboard the ship; the biggest was the one word you’re not allowed to say.

"So here's [what] I've learned about cruising since I've spent 18 nights on this floating retirement home with a Cheesecake Factory attached. First, number one, you're not supposed to talk about the Titanic," he says in the clip.

Titanic! It's the ultimate taboo when you're on a giant ship traversing the ocean. Even after all these years, it's still too soon to make even lighthearted comparisons or jokes.

@marcsebastianf

someone get whoopi on the line girl i have some goss for her #ultimateworldcruise #worldcruise #serenadeoftheseas #cruisetok #cruise #9monthcruise #titanic

“Who knew that? I didn’t,” Sebastian said. “I brought it up to an entire room of people having lunch that our ship is only 100 feet longer than the Titanic — when I tell you that utensils dropped. Waiters gasped. It’s dead silent.”

Sebastian was flabbergasted. "It wasn't in the... handbook," he joked. "Not that I read the handbook, clearly."

After the unexpected reaction, his cruise friend told him, “You’re not allowed to talk about the Titanic.” It makes sense.

Who wants to be reminded of the tragedy that killed around 1,500 people while sinking one of the most impressive engineering feats of the era? More experienced cruisers chimed in that they were familiar with the unique piece of etiquette.

cruise, 9-month cruise, Marc Sebastian, cruise life, vacation, titanic, unspoken rules, etiquette, cruise etiquette, royal caribbean Pro tip: Don't ask the band on board to play "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion Giphy

"When I went on a cruise, my mom told me saying Titanic was equivalent to screaming ‘bomb’ at an airport," Mikayla wrote in the comments.

"It’s like saying Macbeth in a theatre, it’s an unspoken rule" another commenter added.

"I’m sorry you’re telling me you had a Harry Potter like experience saying Voldemort at Hogwarts but it was the titanic on a modern day cruise I’m cryingggg" joked another.

Later in the video covering little known cruise facts, Sebastian admits he was surprised to learn that cruise ships have godmothers and that the pools are filled with seawater.

In an update from June of 2024, Sebastian explains that he only stayed on the cruise for 18 nights. He was not booked to stay throughout the entire voyage, and for him, that was a relief.

He initially jokes that he was kicked off the boat for saving a penguin that had jumped aboard. But in the end, he admits he was more than happy to deboard early.

"I walked off that ship not a happy man," he said, saying the ship was overstimulating and stressful. In another video, he films as the ship navigates the Drake Passage, one of the most notoriously dangerous and choppy stretches of water in the world. It looks stressful indeed, to say the least.

Cruising isn't for everyone, let alone for 274 days straight! But now Sebastian knows the golden rule for his next cruise.

This story originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Breaking up with a friend hurts.

Imagine this: you’re scrolling through Instagram and suddenly come across photos of your former best friend living their best life—without you. Your stomach drops to the floor, every muscle in your chest tightens, and, without warning, you’re sniffling over someone who once knew your Jamba Juice order by heart (medium Strawberry Whirl with a caffeine boost) but now treats you like a stranger.


If this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone. Friendship breakups are one of life’s most devastating experiences, yet society either chooses to ignore them altogether or expects us to “get over it,” as if it’s no big deal.

Spoiler alert: it is a big deal. And we have the science to back it up.


The science and psychology behind friendship breakups

Here’s something that might surprise you: when a friendship ends, your brain processes it in much the same way as it would a romantic breakup. The same neural pathways light up, the same stress chemicals flood into your system, and you feel like your heart is breaking into a million tiny pieces.

Ugly crying into a pint of ice cream would not be uncalled for in this situation.


Research shows that up to 70% of close friendships don’t make it past the seven-year mark. This doesn’t mean that we’re bad at friendship; rather, it’s a reflection of the fact that people change, grow apart, and that life unfolds in unexpected ways. However, knowing the statistics doesn’t make a friendship breakup any less brutal when you’re experiencing it firsthand.

When you lose a close friend, your brain goes into emergency panic mode. Known as the mood stabilizer, serotonin levels drop after losing a friend, leading to mood instability, anxiety, and depression symptoms. The brain goes through dopamine withdrawal, creating feelings of emptiness and a loss of pleasure.

Your amygdala—the brain’s alarm system—freaks out, sending waves of stress signals through your body. Simultaneously, the same regions that process physical pain (the ones that would activate if you broke a bone) start working overtime to process that emotional pain.


woman, sad, brain, head, emotions Woman with her head in her hands.Photo credit: Canva

This is why we use physical terms to describe heartbreak, like "crushed,” “broken,” or “torn apart.” Because in these moments, your brain truly cannot distinguish between physical and emotional pain.

The grief no one talks about

Friendship breakups can be especially painful because our society isn’t built to acknowledge them. When a romantic relationship ends, friends and family typically gather around to offer emotional support and say things like, “You’re better off, sweetie," or “It’s their loss.”

But when a friendship falls apart? Crickets.

Unlike other forms of loss, friendship endings involve ambiguous grief: mourning someone who is still alive but is no longer present in your life.


This phenomenon is also known as “disenfranchised grief," and refers to the type of pain that does not receive social recognition or support. A friend is someone who has left an indelible mark on your life, and yet, society tells you to get over it because, after all, it’s “just a friend.”

“Losing a close friendship can hurt just as deeply as a romantic breakup, if not more in some cases,” explains Charlotte Fox Weber, psychotherapist and author of What We Want, in an interview with Stylist.

“You’re not just mourning the present reality of the friendship; you’re grieving what it once was—the laughter, the shared experiences, the dreams you built together, and the promise of what life might become.”

Healing happens in stages

The good news is that you’re not broken. This pain will not last forever. Healing from a friendship breakup, much like any other form of grief, happens in waves. Some days you'll feel fine, while others you may want to hide under the covers and stare at old pictures of the two of you. The “good old days.”

First, allow yourself to feel everything. Seriously. Be sad, angry, confused, hurt. Hurl the dictionary and the thesaurus at your grief. Cry in the shower. Scream in the car. Your feelings are valid, even if no one else seems to recognize them.


Next, practice self-compassion. Talk to yourself kindly and use words full of love. If a family member was going through something similar, would you tell them they were being dramatic? Hopefully not! You would wrap them in a tight hug and remind them that they are worthy of love and friendship.

Finally, get curious about the lessons this experience has taught you. What have you learned about yourself through this friendship? What do you want to do differently in future relationships? Pain can often be our greatest teacher, even if you prefer to learn your lessons more gently.

Plot twist: You’re stronger now

Here’s something no one tells you about surviving a friendship breakup: it makes you resilient. Look at you! You have navigated through one of life’s most under-recognized heartbreaks and emerged in one piece. You sat with difficult emotions, comforted yourself, and became your own best friend when you needed one the most.

That’s not insignificant; that’s everything.

So, take your time. Feel your feelings. Be gentle with yourself. And remember, almost everyone has experienced a loss like this at some point. You’re not behind in life; you’re exactly where you need to be.

You're not alone in this.

Have you ever found yourself at your desk, ticking off tasks like a robot, feeling as if you're observing your life from the outside? Or perhaps you've spent late nights binge-watching episodes of Big Brother while fully aware that you should be sleeping, yet unable to stop?

That might not be laziness or lack of motivation. You could be experiencing something called a “functional freeze,” a state that’s more common than you might realize. You're not alone in this.


woman, sad, stuck, emotional, overwhelmed Woman looks down, dejected. Photo credit: Canva

People describe the experience of a functional freeze as “running on autopilot while simultaneously drowning.” It’s a sophisticated psychological state where individuals maintain outward functionality while experiencing profound internal emotional disconnection. On the outside, you’re getting things done—showing up to work on time, paying bills, hitting the gym—but on the inside, it’s a complete physiological and emotional shutdown, leaving you disconnected from everything. Effectively, you are functional yet frozen.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re just going through the motions of life without actually living it, keep reading. This article might change how you view what’s going on in your brain and body.

What is a functional freeze, anyway?

This phenomenon occurs when the nervous system becomes overwhelmed by chronic stress, trauma, or persistent demands, such as a demanding job, caretaking responsibilities, or financial pressures, which triggers the dorsal vagal complex: a primitive survival mechanism that induces emotional and psychological shutdown.

Think of it like your phone when it’s at 2% battery. Yes, everything technically works, but it’s sluggish, apps keep crashing, and you’re just trying to make it through until you can reach a charger. That’s your brain on functional freeze.


The science behind it is fascinating and slightly terrifying. When you’re constantly stressed or overwhelmed, your sympathetic nervous system—the part of your nervous system that controls your body's 'fight-or-flight' responses—gets stuck in the “on” position.

It’s like your nervous system is playing dead, which worked great for our ancestors avoiding sabertoothed tigers, but isn’t so helpful when you’re trying to navigate modern life.

Being in this state is more than just feeling “blah” or being in a cranky mood. Functional freeze is a legitimate neurobiological response to chronic stress, and it can last for weeks, months, or even years if left unchecked.

The tricky part is that because you’re still functioning—still showing up, still getting things done—it often goes unrecognized by both you and the people around you.

8 key signs of functional freeze

You feel emotionally numb

The hallmark sign of functional freeze involves severely diminished emotional responses… all the time. You know how some people describe depression as feeling sad constantly? (Crying, can’t get out of bed, etc.) Functional freeze is more like feeling nothing at all.


woman, sad, stuck, emotional, overwhelmed Functional freeze divorces you from emotion. Photo credit: Canva

Your best friend gets engaged, and you’re genuinely happy for her, but the emotion feels like it was auto-generated, instead of something you feel in your body. You get a parking ticket (which would normally outrage you, but this time, it’s just a shrug of the shoulders. Good things happen, bad things happen, and your emotional response is nowhere to be seen.

Feeling like this isn’t stoicism or being emotionally mature. Your feelings are locked away, stashed in a safe where you can’t access them.

Your body feels like it belongs to someone else

In a functional freeze, you become disconnected from your physical self. You might ignore hunger cues, forget to drink water, or not notice that your shoulders have been practically touching your ears from stress.

People describe it as sensations of “floating outside themselves” or feeling like they’re “watching their life happen from a distance”. It’s not quite dissociation, but you don’t feel present in your skin.

Autopilot mode

When you're a functional freeze, even simple decisions feel overwhelming. You might find yourself doing the same things over and over—same lunch, same songs to listen to, same Netflix show on repeat—not because you love these things, but because choosing feels impossible. Your struggle with decision-making is real and valid.


woman, sad, stuck, emotional, overwhelmed Are your days starting to blur together?Photo credit: Canva

Your days start to blur together because you’re not present for any of them. You’re going through the motions, but there’s no real intentionality behind your actions.

Persistent procrastination and decision paralysis

Here’s where functional freeze gets cruel: you can handle the basics (mostly), but anything beyond survival seems insurmountable. That creative project you’ve been so excited about? The closet that needs organizing? Your friend’s birthday is inching closer and closer, and you've yet to buy a gift. They all feel like climbing Mount Everest in flip-flops.

Your brain doesn’t have the bandwidth for non-essential tasks because it’s using all its energy to keep you upright and moving.

People are exhausting, even the ones you love

Social interactions start to feel performative, like you’re playing yourself in a movie about your life. Your brain reminds you that you love your friends, but hanging out with them feels like an unavoidable obligation. You find yourself canceling plans—not because you’re busy, but because the thought of having to be “on” already exhausts you.


masks, sad, stuck, emotional, overwhelmed People experiencing a functional freeze might feel like they're wearing a mask in social interactions. Photo credit: Canva

Functional freeze often drives individuals toward increasing social isolation, not from depression or anxiety, but from a fundamental disconnection from interpersonal experiences. Being alone starts to feel genuinely easier than trying to connect with others.

Your brain is moving through molasses

You know that feeling when you first wake up and your thoughts are all foggy? In a functional freeze, that’s pretty much your entire day. Everyday tasks take longer, information needs repetition, and mental sharpness feels sluggish and dull.


Mental fog of this magnitude can be especially frustrating if you’re used to being on top of your game. You’re still competent, but everything requires more effort than it should.

You’re tired in your bones

This isn’t a “Oops, I stayed up watching Can Me If You Can too late last night,” tired. It’s a “I could sleep for 12 hours and still wake up exhausted” tired. Rest alone won’t alleviate this level of fatigue because your system is stuck in survival mode.

It’s a profound, persistent energy depletion that rest doesn’t resolve, often accompanied by a sense of being “wired but tired,” like your body is buzzing with anxious energy while simultaneously feeling like you could collapse at any moment.

Numbing behaviors feel like salvation

When everything feels too much, it’s natural to reach for things that help you check out. You might be mindlessly scrolling social media for hours, binging shows you’re not even interested in, or pouring that third glass of wine to feel something (or block out the nothingness).

These aren’t necessarily unhealthy behaviors in moderation, but in functional freeze, they become compulsive ways to avoid dealing with the disconnection you’re feeling.


woman, sad, stuck, emotional, overwhelmed Woman feeling checked out. Photo credit: Canva

The good news: You can get unstuck

Let’s be clear: if you recognized yourself in the descriptions above, you are not broken, lazy, or weak. Functional freeze is your nervous system trying to protect you. It’s just doing a lousy job of it at this point.

Recovery isn’t about powering through or forcing yourself to feel better. It’s about gently coaxing your nervous system back online. Here’s how to start:

  1. Start with the breath. Your breath is the fastest way to communicate with your nervous system, and it’s one of the few things you can control when everything else feels chaotic. Try the 4-7-8 technique: breathe in for four counts, hold for seven, exhale for eight.
  2. Get back in your body. When you’re stuck in functional freeze, gentle movement can help reconnect you with your physical self. Try stretching, gentle yoga, or even just shaking your body like you’re a dog getting out of water (shaking helps discharge stored stress energy. Animals do it naturally after escaping predators.)
  3. Make tiny decisions. Since decision-making feels overwhelming in a functional freeze, start embarrassingly small. Choose between two of your favorite snacks. Pick which song to listen to. Decide whether to wear the blue shirt or the black one. These micro-decisions help rebuild your executive functioning without overwhelming your already taxed system.
  4. Create anchors in the day. When everything feels blurry and autopilot-y, small rituals can help you feel more present. Maybe it’s consciously tasting your morning coffee instead of chugging it. (Is that a note of hazelnut, you detect?) Or stepping outside for five minutes after lunch and breathing in the fresh air, no screens allowed. These aren’t life-changing habits—they’re just little moments where you pause and notice you exist.
  5. Find professional help. Look for practitioners who understand trauma-informed care, somatic experiencing, or polyvagal theory. These approaches work with your nervous system rather than just trying to think your way out of the problem. EMDR, somatic experiencing, and trauma-sensitive yoga can be beneficial because they address the physiological aspects of being stuck, not just the mental ones.

woman, smiling, therapy, connection, feelings Remember, you are not alone. Photo credit: Canva

You’re not alone

If you’re struggling with functional freeze, remember that you are not alone. In our hyperconnected, always-on world, functional freeze has become nearly epidemic. We’re all trying to fit into an overstimulated society that isn’t designed for the human nervous system.

The fact that you’re reading this, that you’re looking for answers and ways to feel more alive in your own life—that’s already a step toward unfreezing. Your awareness is the beginning of change.

Your feelings are still there, waiting for you to come back to them. And when you’re ready, they’ll be there to welcome you home.