+
upworthy
More

6 things women put up with in the gym, and why they shouldn't have to.

Finding the motivation to go to the gym isn't easy for anyone. But it can be much harder for women, for reasons that have nothing to do with actually working out.

Knowing they're likely walking into a hornet's nest of people (men) who will bother, critique, stare at, or otherwise annoy them is an unfortunate reality for many female gym-goers.

Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images.


About 14% of women say they're intimidated by the possibility of men leering or judging them while they work out, according to research done by Cosmopolitan Body in 2014. The problem gets even worse in the weights section, which is typically overrun with men. The survey discovered almost half of all women found the area intimidating because of "the people who use it."

Anecdotal evidence backs that up. Reddit and fitness discussion forums are rife with women asking for advice on dealing with men at the gym who gawk, flirt, interrupt, or even harass them. The common (and quite depressing) responses: develop a "resting bitch face," learn to be super rude, get better at ignoring people, or report these men to gym management.

Instead, we ought to be reminding men they don't own the gym; women shouldn't have to "put up with" rude behavior or "find a way" to not attract attention. Wouldn't it be better for everyone if women didn't have to deal with harassment at all?

So, fellow dudes and fellow gym go-ers, I implore you, think for a second about what women go through at the gym. And if you catch yourself or your friends doing any of this stuff, please cut it out.

1. Women can tell when you're staring at them, and it's not as flattering as you think.

Making a woman feel "on display" by leering when she's just trying to get a workout in is a surefire way to make her feel uncomfortable or even scared. And no, tight pants and sports bras aren't an invitation.

Think a lingering glance here and there isn't a big deal? Upworthy reader Meredith Cantrell says many of the women she knows actually drive to "gay neighborhoods" to work out so they won't be gawked at.

Totally unnecessary if guys can learn to keep our eyes to ourselves.

2. Women go to the gym to work out (like everyone else) — not speed-date between sets.

It's not that you can't meet that special someone at the gym, but there's a time and a place. Flirting with a woman at the gym when she's in the middle of lifting weights or grinding out miles on the treadmill is neither the time nor place.

Not only is it super rude to interrupt (honestly, you're not going to get a good response doing this anyway), it's also pretty dangerous to distract someone while they're, say, holding the equivalent of their own bodyweight on their back while doing squats. Yet, incredibly, it happens all the time.

A good rule of thumb: When someone's wearing headphones, it usually means they don't want to talk to anyone. Even you, handsome.

3. When women lift heavy weights, guys around them get insecure and lash out.

Reader Emma Johnson writes that one day, while working with her trainer, she hit a pretty impressive 250-kilogram leg press (over 550 pounds — go Emma!). A jealous guy standing nearby couldn't help but chime in, "Yeah, but you're doing it wrong."

Look, guys, women are strong. Sometimes they will be stronger than you. Deal with it like an adult and get back to work on your own fitness goals.

4. Unsolicited advice isn't helpful. It's insulting.

When people want help, they'll ask, or they'll hire a personal trainer. In the meantime, worry about your own "form." OK?

Laurna Robertson says she was talking to a "persistent guy" in the sauna at her gym one day when the subject of running came up. After sharing their respective half-marathon times (Laurna was faster, by the way), the man "generously" offered to coach her. What a guy!

Sophia Bromfield adds, "I have a corner in the gym to hide while I lift," but one day a dude stood next to her until she took her headphones off, then insisted on teaching her proper lunge form.

This is the gym version of mansplaining. It's annoying and insulting. Don't do it.

5. Some guys just don't know when to go away. Others are straight-up bullies.

Being "overly friendly" with questionable motivations is one thing, but some women find men at the gym can be downright nasty, purposefully intimidating them or boxing them out so they'll leave.

The gym is a shared space. Other people pay money to go there, just like you. If you don't want to be around other humans, buy a home gym.

Also, beware of unconscious behaviors like "manspreading," taking up more room than you need, or stealing someone's weights before they're done with them.

6. These behaviors aren't just annoying. They can be extremely intimidating.

At a certain point, these behaviors cross the line from rude and inappropriate to downright scary.

Ashley Loshbough writes that a man once came up to her (asking her to remove her headphones, which, just ugh) and said, "Wow, I wish I had beautiful [pale] skin like yours," stared for a moment, then walked off.

It might sound funny and harmless, but this is the kind of thing that has women looking over their shoulder in the parking lot and wondering if they should ever come back to that gym again.

A little empathy goes a long way, fellas.

Do you want someone gawking at your butt while you're on the treadmill? Interrupting you while you're holding heavy weights? Impatiently waiting inches away from you until you finish up on a machine?

Let's work together to keep this crap out of the gym and make it an environment where we support others to reach whatever their health and fitness goals are.

Even if that means just leaving each other alone.

"Freddie Mercury" by kentarotakizawa is licensed under CC BY 2.0.

Fans are thrilled to hear Freddie Mercury's iconic voice once again.

Freddie Mercury had a voice and a stage presence unlike any other in rock music history. His unique talents helped propel the band Queen to the top of music charts and created a loyal fan base around the world.

Sadly, the world lost that voice when Mercury died of AIDS at age 45. For decades, most of us have assumed we'd heard all the music we were going to hear from him.

However, according to Yahoo! Entertainment, remaining Queen members Roger Taylor and Brian May announced this summer that they had found a never-released song they'd recorded with Mercury in 1988 as they were working on the album "The Miracle."

Keep ReadingShow less
Courtesy of Woodell Productions

This speech had all the things, and the Maid of Honor wasn't even there

May we all have a best friend like Ally Lothman.

Lothman had just given birth to her first child (according to Today.com) and was unable to make it to the wedding of her lifelong best friend Michelle Levenson. But Lothman’s Maid of Honor duties were still gloriously fulfilled.

A now-viral video, posted to TikTok by wedding photography and videography company Woodell Productions, shows that even though Lothman couldn’t celebrate in person, her FaceTimed wedding toast managed to bring everyone at the reception—along with everyone who watched online—to tears.
Keep ReadingShow less

Kevin Bacon's farm songs have become a social media favorite.

When Beyoncé dropped two songs from her upcoming album of country tunes, Renaissance: Act II, she may not have expected to make history, but that's exactly what happened. Her first single from the album, "Texas Hold 'Em," shot to the No.1 spot on the Billboard country music charts, making her the first Black female artist to hit that top spot. The catchy tune also topped the Billboard Hot 100 the last week in February 2024, a week after it debuted at No. 2.

Presumbaly, Queen Bey didn't expect her song to become an Irish stepdance hit, though that's also exactly what happened. And surely she didn't expect it to be sung by Kevin Bacon to a bunch of farm animals, yet that also has happened.

Perhaps we should all have expected that, though. There's a precedent here, after all.

Keep ReadingShow less
Pop Culture

People think everyone should experience these things 'at least once in their lifetime'

Things like seeing an eclipse and having a true best friend make life worth living.

Representative Images from Canva

Here are some things everyone should experience once in their lifetime

If there’s one thing human beings all have in common, it’s our shared impermanence. No matter our race, gender, social class, wealth status, health regimen, moral code, political leaning, or any other divisive element, we all get one life. One life to hopefully fill with as many memorable, soul nourishing, expansive experiences as possible.

But let’s face it, there are more experiences available that there are days and hours in which to do them. Therefore, we have to use discernment. So, which experiences are truly must-haves in our all-too-limited time on this planet?

The answers to this question are undoubtedly personal, but perhaps some things, just like the inevitable exit of mortal coil, are universal.

According to a recent discussion on Ask Reddit, here are things one must absolutely “experience at least once in their lifetime”:
Keep ReadingShow less
Family

Helicopter's thermal imaging helps save a young autistic girl lost in a Florida swamp

“I just love how the deputy greeted her. What a beautiful ending. You guys are the best!”

A deputy locates a missing girl in a Florida swamp.

A 5-year-old with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) wandered off into a swamp near Tampa, Florida, around 5:00 pm on Monday, February 26. The good news is that the girl was saved in about an hour thanks to the work of some brave sheriff’s officers and their incredible thermal technology.

The girl wandered from her home and was quickly reported missing by her family to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Department. The sheriff quickly dispatched its aviation unit that used thermal imaging technology to scan the nearby swamplands to try to find the young girl before nightfall.

Thermal imaging technology captures images based on the heat emitted by objects, allowing us to see temperature differences even in the dark, making it super handy for night vision and heat detection. The thermal technology helped the officers quickly identify the girl from high above the trees.

Keep ReadingShow less
Family

10 things kids get in trouble for that adults get away with all the time

Why do we expect children to have more self-control than grown-ups?

Photo by Keren Fedida on Unsplash

Kids know when we're being hypocritical.

Raising kids is tough and no parent does it perfectly. Each child is different, each has their own personalities, strengths and challenges, and each of them requires something different from their parents in order to flourish.

But there's one thing that parents have long said, with their actions if not with their words, that justifiably drives kids bonkers: "Do as I say, not as I do."

To be fair, both moral and actual law dictate that there are things that adults can do that kids can't. Children can't drive or consume alcohol, for example, so it's not hypocritical for adults to do those things while telling kids they cannot. There are other things—movies, TV shows, books, etc.—that parents have to decide whether their kids are ready for or not based on their age and developmental stage, and that's also to be expected.

But there are some gaps between what adults do and what they expect kids to do that aren't so easy to reconcile.

Keep ReadingShow less