Upworthy's book GOOD PEOPLE, now available - take a look!

Shop
 Explore 

Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.

Health

19 simple therapist insights that instantly transformed people's lives

One piece of advice can change everything.

therapists, therapy advice, relationships

via SHVETS production/Pexels

A therapist shares some advice with her clients.

A good therapist has the magical ability to take our messiest problems and break them down in a way that makes sense. They have an incredible way of showing us our struggles from a fresh perspective and quite often, the answers were right in front of our faces the whole time. We just needed their help to nudge us in the right direction.

For some, a therapist's simple, sage wisdom can change their lives with just one poignant realization.

Recently, a Redditor named BuildingBridges23 asked people on the subforum to share the priceless bits of wisdom that changed their lives and over 5,300 people responded. The pithy but powerful observations they shared were helpful to many people and more than one called the thread “free therapy.”

Here are 19 of the best responses to the question: “What's something your therapist said that was life-changing?”

1. You can't fix sick

"You're going to put yourself in an early grave trying to make your mother happy. Your mother is sick, trying to make her happy is like trying to fill a bucket that has no bottom, its not going to happen unless she fixes the bucket. You can't fix it for her." — ModerateDude9

2. Other people's feelings

"I asked him, 'How do you process all of the negative feelings that are projected at you?' and he said "They aren't my feelings.'" — Wirestyle22

3. Coping with death

"'The way your parents died will never be the most interesting thing about you. It's not even the most interesting thing about THEM.' My parents died by suicide together and I was worried that it was going to consume me as an individual. I didnt want their deaths or my grief to become my entire identity." — Crazyofo

4. Being brave

"When I broke down because I was so fed up with being scared and anxious all the time, he said something like. 'You can’t be brave without being scared first.' It always stuck with me that fear, no matter how overwhelming, won’t last forever and I try to see it as a chance for me to prove to myself I can fight back and try to get through this." — AnxiousAxolotyl88

5. Change

"Change happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change." ؅— SpicyEmmaa

6. Dealing with mental illness

"Just because the mentally ill person screaming at you lives in your home instead of on the streets doesn't mean their opinion is any more true." — UnorignalUse

7. People are like colanders

"Some people are like a colander. It doesn't matter how much time, love and support you pour into them, it will never fill them up enough to make a difference." — Competitive-Watch188

8. Boundaries

"The only people in your life who will be angry because you established boundaries were the people who benefitted from you not having them in the first place." — Imagine_magic

9. Other people's anxiety

"'Be the mirror, not the sponge.' Don’t absorb other people’s stress and anxiety, show it back to them gently. Changed my life." — CariocaInLA

10. Sensitive people

"That being a 'highly sensitive person' is just how I’m built. It’s not something that’s wrong with me or something that I necessarily have to change. I just have to accept it, to learn my boundaries and needs and live accordingly." — stuttering-mime-ta2

11. For people-pleasers

"'You don’t need to please everyone all of the time. People who love you will not leave you because you disagree with them or do something they don’t like.' She nailed a lot of my behaviours back to the fact my biological dad left when I was 9 months old. I cannot cope with perceived abandonment, and will do everything in my power to keep people happy… because they might leave me." — RhiR2020

12. It's not about you

"'You aren’t that interesting.' I would have panic attacks and paranoia that people were out to get me (PTSD, etc) and would think that people were judging me in grocery stores because my toddler was crying or that my hair was messy. And honestly it boiled down to…nobody cares. We’re all trying to survive and get through the day and what someone looks like or does, we observe and move on." — jac_kayyy

13. Judgement

"We judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by their actions." — Horny_Rapunzel

14. It's simple

"'The answer is simple. That doesn't mean it's easy, but it's simple.' I was doing what I always do in difficult, scary situations that I don't want to deal with head-on; I was overthinking and over-complicating what I needed to do to be happy again. The answer was actually quite simple: I needed to tell my (now ex-husband) that I wanted a divorce." — RovenshereExpress

15. Realize your unhappiness

"At the third session with our couples counselor, my wife and I had a brief ten-minute private session with our therapist. During my session, the therapist said, 'You need to accept the possibility of a divorce. You are trying to do the right thing and be supportive, but you can't do that alone. Your wife is taking advantage of you. You can't see how unhappy you are. That will change within a year after your divorce.' Yup. She was right. My wife and I agreed to divorce during the 4th session. I am finally happy, and love my life." — BlueCollarBeagle

16. Hurt

"Just because you were hurt when you were younger, doesn't mean randoms have the right to hurt you now." — Paeliens

17. See-saw relationship

"A relationship is like a see-saw. If the other person doesn't want to participate, you can keep going, but you'll get really tired." — SendInYourSkeleton

18. Panic

"Not my therapist, but a friend told me hers said this: 'You do not have enough information to panic about that yet.' Whenever I catch myself spiraling about the unknown, I try to remember that." — Bananaphone1549

19. Heart attacks

"It wasn’t my therapist, it was my doctor, but it was life-changing. I had been 300+ pounds all of my adult life and I was in for a physical and he said to me: 'You know, the first symptom of a heart attack is a heart attack.' It was what caused me to change my life at age 54 and lose 110 pounds in 16 months and I became a runner. I have run a race in all 50 states, 26 Halifax marathons and 2 full marathons, Chicago and Boston. That one thing he said to me kicked off my decision for better health! That was 15 years ago." — BlueJasper27

From Your Site Articles

therapy

All In

Craveable snacks. Quality organic ingredients. Positive community impact.

Joy

5 ways people are going "All In" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples this week.

5 ways people are going "All In" this week

True

When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might think of getting groovy at a nursing home, a french bulldog having a total breakdown in the drive-thru, or maybe even a snack bar company promoting self care. Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Going “all in” means doing something with total commitment—literally giving it your “all” and going completely over the top. No second guessing, no holding back—just full-throttle enthusiasm with some creativity and flair thrown in. That’s how we get those viral internet moments we can’t stop watching.

This DWTS dance trend

If you’ve been watching TV or on the internet this week, you might have seen the viral dance move Dylan Efron and Daniella Karagach performed while on Dancing With The Stars (DWTS) last week. The one particular move, where Dylan holds Daniella as she does a mid-air horizontal walk, is going viral with over 8k videos using the sound. Some of my personal favorites include a mom and her baby, two girls or a girl and her cat, proving this dance trend is truly for anyone to try.

All In on Fiber

See on Instagram

Speaking of trends, there’s one that really is about going “all in”, it’s called #fibermaxxing. After years of protein being the biggest nutrition trend, it looks like fiber might be taking over. For good reason too, while protein can cause issues with digestion, fiber can lead to better digestion, blood sugar management, weight control and reduced disease risk. Our friends at All In made a video explaining the #fibermaxxing trend. Each All In bar has 6 to 7 grams of fiber , plus they are delicious. Don't take our word for it, though: Click here to try it yourself (for free).

This child's long hair

This creator went all in… on pranking the audience. I don’t want to give away the contents of this video, but let’s just say it’s creative- and it made me quite literally laugh out loud. There are a lot of "momfluencers" out there who make content that uses their children, and as relatable and heartfelt as it is, sometimes a little satire break is worth appreciating.

Two entrepreneurs getting down to business

Lots of people dabble in entrepreneurship. These two went "all in" on helping others learn it. After four years of interviews with CEOs , research, edits, and a Penguin Random House book deal (yes, seriously), their book, Down to Business, has made its way into classrooms and libraries around the world. Now they are teaching other kids that age is not a barrier to entry in entrepreneurship; the earlier you start, the further you can go—and an entrepreneurial mindset will serve you no matter what you do in life.

Bridesmaids who went all in

Last on our list; two bridesmaids who committed to the bit. These ladies went “all in” in their remake of the legendary scene from the movie “Bridesmaids”. If you haven’t seen the original movie, starring Kristen Wig and Maya Rudolph, this might be your sign.

In the viral TikTok this bride, Caroline, had no idea what was coming when she put on her favorite movie while getting ready for her big day. The fact that she wanted to watch her favorite show before her bridesmaids surprised her, makes this going “all in” surprise all the better.

Snag your free (!!) snack bar here while this deal lasts. Just pick up a bar at Sprouts and text a pic ofv your receipt to get it for free. Enoy!

From Your Site Articles

Sustainability

Beavers were brought to the desert to save a dying river. Six years later, here are the results.

Their engineering feats are pretty dam incredible.

beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate change

Canva Photos

Can outsider beavers save this dried up river?

It's not easy being a river in the desert under the best of circumstances. The ecosystem exists in a very delicate balance, allowing water sources to thrive in the harsh conditions. These water sources in otherwise extremely dry areas are vital to the survival of unique wildlife, agriculture, and even tourism as they provide fresh drinking water for the people who live nearby.

But man-made problems like climate change, over-farming, and pollution have made a tough job even tougher in some areas. Rivers in Utah and Colorado part of the Colorado River Basin have been barely surviving the extremely harsh drought season. When the riverbeds get too dry, fish and other aquatic creatures die off and the wildfire risk increases dramatically.

About six years ago, one team of researchers had a fascinating idea to restore the health of some of Utah's most vulnerable rivers: Bring in the beavers.

beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate change Beaver on riverbank. Canva Photos

In 2019, master's student Emma Doden and a team of researchers from Utah State University began a "translocation" project to bring displaced beavers to areas like Utah's Price River, in the hopes of bringing it back to life.

Why beavers? Well, it just makes dam sense! (Sorry.)

In all seriousness, beaver dams restrict the flow of water in some areas of a river, creating ponds and wetlands. In drought-stricken areas, fish and other wildlife can take refuge in the ponds while the rest of the river runs dry, thus riding out the danger until it rains again.

When beavers are present in a watershed, the benefits are unbelievable: Better water quality, healthier fish populations, better nutrient availability, and fewer or less severe wildfires.

It's why beavers have earned the title of "keystone species," or any animal that has a disproportionate impact on the ecosystem around them.

beaver, dam, dam building, nature, ecosystem Pbs Nature Swimming GIF by Nature on PBS Giphy

Doden and her team took beavers who were captured or removed from their original homes due to their being a "nuisance," interfering with infrastructure, or being endangered, and—after a short period of quarantine—were brought to the Price River.

Despite the research team's best efforts, not all the translocated beavers have survived or stayed put over the years. Some have trouble adapting to their new home and die off or are killed by predators, while others leave of their own accord.

But sine 2019, enough have stayed and built dams that the team is starting to see the results of the effort. In fact, beaver projects just like this one have been going on all over the state in recent years.

- YouTube youtu.be

The water levels in the river are now the healthiest they've been in years. The fish are thriving and Utah residents are overjoyed with the experiment's results.

According to an early 2025 column in The Salt Lake Tribune (i.e. six years after the beaver translocation began) the revitalization of the Price River has "helped save [our] Utah town."

"A tributary of the Colorado River, the Price River runs through downtown Helper," wrote column authors Lenise Peterman and Jordan Nielson. "On a warm day, you’re likely to find the river filled with tourists and locals kayaking, tubing and fishing along its shore. A decade ago, it was hard to imagine this scene—and the thriving recreation economy that comes with it—was possible."

Of course, it wasn't JUST the beavers. Other federal water cleanup investments helped remove debris, break down old and malfunctioning dams, and place tighter regulations on agriculture grazing in the area that depleted vital plant life.

But the experts know that the beavers, and their incredible engineering work, are the real MVPs.

beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate change An actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price River Public Domain

In other drying, struggling rivers in the area, researchers are bringing in beavers and even creating manmade beaver dams. They're hoping that the critters will take over the job as the rivers get healthier.

Utah's San Rafael River, which is in bleak condition, is a prime candidate. In one area of the river, a natural flood inspired a host of beavers to return to the area and "riparian habitat along that stretch had increased by 230%, and it had the most diverse flow patterns of anywhere on the river," according to KUER.

It's hard to believe that beavers nearly went extinct during the heyday of the fur trapping industry, and continued to struggle as they were considered nuisances and pests. Now, they're getting the respect they deserve as engineer marvels, and their populations have rebounded due to better PR and conservation programs.

It's about dam time!

This article originally appeared in June.

From Your Site Articles

beavers

Joy

17 life hacks people cannot believe that 'other people don't do'

"When I’m stressed, I ask myself: ‘Will this matter in 5 years?’ 90% of the time, the answer is no."

hacks, phone charger, spilled milk, corn, life hacks,

via Canva/Photos

A phone charger, a glass of spilled milk, and an ear of corn.

Life is complicated. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed with work, family, and that phone in your pocket that keeps buzzing and beeping at you constantly. To try to cut through the noise and free ourselves from being bogged down by a never-ending list of to-dos, we all have the little things we do to make life a bit easier; we call ‘em life hacks.

The great thing about social media is that when people aren’t busy arguing with one another, we can come together and share the little tricks we know that help make life a bit easier. The term "life hacks" was coined by tech journalist Danny O’Brien at the O'Reilly Emerging Technology Conference in San Diego, California, in 2004, to describe the "embarrassing" scripts and shortcuts productive IT professionals use to get their work done.

Recently, a Redditor posed a question to the AskReddit subforum, asking people to share the “I can’t believe other people don’t do this” hacks they use to make life a bit easier. The responses ranged from tips for finding the perfect Christmas gifts to clever ways to be more efficient at the computer. For anyone who’s dealing with anxiety or depression, the 5-minute rule seems like a great way to make an improvement to your mental health.

Here are 17 life hacks that people “can’t believe” other people don’t do

1. Clipboard history

"Windows + V for clipboard history. I showed a coworker this last week and he looked at me like I invented fire."

2. Emergency gifts

"If I'm invited to a Christmas party where I have gifts for some friends, I wrap 2 boxes of chocolates and attach a blank name tag so that if I receive a gift from someone unexpectedly, I can quickly scribble their name and it looks like I had a gift for them the whole time. If I don't have to deploy the tactical choc, then I have a nice treat for January."

"My Nana kept a box of blank birthday /anniversary /Christmas cards in her closet for this reason. People used to pop 'round more back then and she'd always be prepared, just in case."

3. Map your vacation

"When planning a trip, create a list in Google Maps and add everything you might want to do (after researching on Reddit, TripAdvisor, Atlas Obscura, etc.) It’ll allow you to see a bird’s eye visual of what’s near each other so you can group things and have an easier time planning your days."

"I have several folders in Google maps for food, activities and cool places, even in cities I can’t visit rn. This way, if I ever get to go to, say, London, I already have a list of places I have seen or heard of and I don’t have to do so much planning. Super useful for weekends when you don’t have plans, I bring out the map and see what’s nearby."

4. Gift idea list

"Keep a running note of gift ideas for your loved ones, year round. When holidays, birthdays, etc. roll around, it's a lifesaver. Keep another note of TV shows, movies, books, music, games, whatever else you want to get to when you have time, and where to find them (if applicable). The next time you have spare time and can't think of what to watch/read/do, go to your list. Put days that matter to your loved ones in your calendar. Not just birthdays and stuff like that-- anniversaries of loved one's passings. Sober birthdays. Milestones. Make a point of reaching out on those days."

"Also, buy the Christmas/birthday gifts WHEN you see them, year-round. Less of a single big-hitter bill at Christmas, plus you don't have to remember where you saw that thing or if it will still be available when you return. Super helpful for those forgotten holidays, too. Did you forget to buy a Mother's Day gift and you need to leave in 15 minutes? Grab one of the stashed gifts!"

5. Create a photo warranty file

"When you buy a thing that has a warranty, take a picture of the receipt with your phone. Then store the picture in a dedicated warranty folder. Lastly, rename the receipt YYYY-MM-DD ITEMNAME, where the date is the warranty's expiration date. Now you have all your warranties easily accessible, and you can sort them by date."

"And/or, tape it to the back of the thing. Large appliances, TVs, stuff like that, you’ll never see the back, and it won’t get lost."

6. Buy multiple phone chargers

"Invest in multiple phone chargers. I have one by my bed, in the living room, my home office, and my car. None of them is ever to be moved. The lone exception is the fifth charger, which I keep in my travel bag along with a power bank. Haven't seen my battery go below 20% in years."

7. The stress question

"When I’m stressed, I ask myself: ‘Will this matter in 5 years?’ 90% of the time, the answer is no."

"And for many things, that timespan can be months, weeks, or days. Stress has a bad way of making every difficult situation seem permanent."

8. Microwave corn

"Microwave full ears of corn, husk on. 3:30-4 mins. It steams itself in the husk. Then cut the base/stem off (with about the first little bit of corn closest to the base), pick it up by the top/silk, and the whole cob falls right out. All the silk stays with the husk. Corn is more snappy than boiled. Not mushy at all. And you don't have to mess with de-husking or waiting forever for a huge pot of water to boil. The first time you cut it right and the ear drops out of the husk is pretty satisfying."

9. Start small

"If you're depressed and struggling with getting a grip on life in general. Start small, like clean out a drawer or clear a small area, and then the next day do something else, and eventually you'll notice that you're able to manage the bigger tasks because the small ones are already done."

"I started with making my bed and eventually just making sure my room is always tidy. When I came home and felt shitty, it would always be to a peaceful, pleasant space, and it was one less thing I had to get done when I wasn't in the mood to do shit."
"I'll add to this, and say downsizing too. I had so much "stuff". I felt like I gained headspace after donating/removing a lot of things I could live without. I've done almost 5 trash bags worth this year."

10. Start the night before

"Prepare for your morning the night before. Whether it is for your usual morning routine or a one-off event, lay out everything you will need before retiring to bed so you barely need to think in the morning. Not only is it more relaxing, but your mind will also have the time to think of other small details you may have forgotten."

"I can't understand how anyone who gets up and has to go to work in the morning can go to sleep without having EVERYTHING ready to go before they go to bed. Clothes. Lunch. Work-related items. There's no way I sleep thinking, 'what am I going to wear? Do I have enough bread to make a sandwich? Where exactly did I place the reports I have to have for work?' All I's must be dotted, and all T's must be crossed before I hit the sack."

11. No big deals

"Do not make a big deal of anything that accidentally spills or breaks in your house. Example: Spilling water at the dinner table. The calm reaction eliminates the usual stress episode. It's a great approach with kids."

12. 5-minute rule

"If something can be done in less than five minutes, do it right away, or if it takes longer, set a timer for 5-10 minutes and just start. I apply this mostly to cleaning because I don't like doing dishes or sweeping the kitchen floor lol."

13. Make post-meal clean-up easy

"As soon as the food is plated- literally, the second the chili is scooped or the lasagna is served- I fill every single used pot or pan with scalding hot water and a squirt of dish soap. Why torture your future self?"

"I do something similar. We have a dish brush in the sink, and the second I serve up, I run the water and use the brush to give it a quick wipe… no more dried on food!"

14. Send text later

"Send text later function on iPhone has helped me a lot. I’m an early riser and often think, 'Oh, so and so’s birthday, text them later,' or 'text coworker about xyz,' but I don’t want to text them at 430am. I sent the “text later” function for 9 am or whatever a reasonable hour is. Has saved my forgetful but thoughtful head a lot."

"My daughter is a little flighty, and she has violin lessons once a week, so that morning I always schedule a message to be sent the last ten minutes of her school day, reminding her to bring her violin home from school!"

15. Stock up on socks

"For my everyday wear, I bought a couple of multi-packs each of identical gray & black socks so I don't have to spend time matching them up. When one gets a hole, I can toss it & still have a mate."

"Every couple of years, replace all socks with a dozen or so identical fresh pairs of really nice ones. Socks generally aren't so expensive that this will be a huge cost over time. You get socks which are almost always in excellent shape, always match, and if you want to recycle any of the ones you're throwing out, there are usually donation/charity options."

16. Put your friends on the calendar

"Use your calendar/reminder list to manage your friendships. It is so easy to let friendships fall by the wayside as adult life gets busier. This is especially the case when people move away. I have a recurring reminder to text people just to say, 'Hey, what’s up?' This is especially helpful when you’re in a period of life when you are in the thick of things for a while, like after you become a new parent. That hard phase of life lasts for a long time, and friends can start feeling forgotten."

17. New bill routine

"Pay your bills when they arrive, not when they're due. When you get that notification that your (fill in the blank) bill will be due in a couple of weeks, pay it right then and there. Don't put it off. Once you get into the habit, it becomes easy, and while it doesn't save you any money up front, shifting your bill paying a few weeks ahead can pay off. If you're ahead on your bills and some emergency pops up - like a car repair - you don't have to choose whether to pay for that repair or your electric bill. You'll have a couple of weeks' cushion to avoid paying a late fee. Creditors love late fees. Don't give them the satisfaction."

From Your Site Articles

life hacks

Pets

10-year-old girl walks into police station and brings officers to tears with 2 simple words

She's been handing out handwritten cards to officers all over the country ever since.

police, cops, police officers, law enforcement, heroes, 10-year-old, thank you letters, kindness

Photo credit: Canva

A 10-year-old has been handing out Thank You cards to police officers across the country for years.

10-year-old Savannah Solis knew she had to do something. Per KHOUN, the girl from Tyler, Texas had heard the tragic news that two local police officers in New York had been murdered. The news, all the way back in 2015, brought her to tears.

Solis knew that, as a kid, there wasn't much she could do, to stop the bad guys, to make the world safer. But she dreamed of one day being a police officer herself and being able to help. As a 5-year-old, Solis says her mother had a heart attack and the first person to arrive and offer help was a police officer. She never forgot that officer's kindness and bravery.

Savannah’s mom, Debbie, recalled the immense love and support the girl had for police officers all over the world. Inspired and mesmerized by their line of duty, she hoped and wished only the best for each of them. “We would drive by and see them stopping somebody and in the backseat she would pray, asking God to take care of them,” the mom recounted.

In the meantime, she wanted the heroes in her own community to know that she cared. So she decided to write personal letters. Hundreds of them.

police, cops, police officers, law enforcement, heroes, 10-year-old, thank you letters, kindness a piece of paper with a heart drawn on it Photo by Immo Wegmann on Unsplash

Her letters had two words recurring each time, “Thank you.”

Furthermore, the girl explained as best as she could what their service meant to her and how grateful she was to them for saving lives.

During her Christmas break, the girl went all out making these letters and posting them—she even delivered a few personally to police departments all over Texas.

“You are my heroes. I want to say don’t stop, please don’t give up. Many do not care or appreciate the sacrifices you make every day. But I do,” the girl remarked. Savannah added a note of inspiration which read, “Many are standing with me today to let you know that you matter. Officers across Texas, you matter to me. Officers in New York City, you matter to me. Officers all across America, you matter to me. Please keep taking care of us.”

One of Solis' deliveries was caught on video, per KXAN, where officers were moved to tears by her gesture.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

She went about taking autographs of as many officers as she could. Debbie noted that her daughter didn’t want celebrity or artist autographs but those of the cops. All the officers are seen shaking hands and getting teary-eyed as they read the cards colored and highlighted with the title, “My hero.”

Austin Police Department Assistant Chief Jessica Robledo felt proud of the girl’s gesture and of the fact that their role was so valued in someone’s eyes.

“The words she spoke from her heart touched every single officer. I noticed everyone was trying to blink back tears. That’s what it’s all about. She is an old soul. She knows the right thing to say and I don’t think she even realizes the impact of her words on these officers and this department,” she remarked.

That was 10 years ago. As Solis grew up, she continued her personal outreach to police officers all over the country, letting them know that their bravery was appreciated.

See on Instagram

She visited a precinct in Manchester, New Hampshire as recently in 2021 where she brought cards to the officers, met the K9 dogs, and was introduced to the police horses as well. Commenters were blown away that Solis was continuing the gesture after so many years.

"Savanna. Officers need that inspiration with everything going on today. You're remarkable for doing this."

"Amazing young lady right, thank you Savannah I appreciate all your efforts to show your appreciation for our men, woman, dogs and horses in blue"

"What an amazing young woman thank you for sharing this post and thank you for your service to our city. And all the law enforcement officers all over the Country."

Bravo, Savannah!

This article originally appeared in July. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles

police

Culture

Introverted career coach shares 4 tips for introverts that make small talk less painful

Introverts can master the art of small talk.

small talk, small talk tips, introverts, introverts small talk, small talk advice

Photo credit: Canva

Tips for introverts on how to master small talk.

Small talk can be especially hard for introverts. While conversation may flow and come easily for extroverts, it can create a lot more anxiety and awkwardness for their counterparts.

Mastering small talk, however, is totally possible for introverts. Self-proclaimed introvert and career coach Cherrie Kwok, M.Ed., CCDP, shared her insights on four mindsets introverts can focus on when it comes to small talk.

She shared, "What I've learned is that you don't need to be an extrovert, the most social, or the most interesting person in the room, nor do you always have to have the right words to say."

Instead, these are four mindsets that will help small people master small talk.

chat, chatting, talk, small talk, small talking A group of people chat with one another.Photo credit: Canva

1. Focus on who you're talking with, not what you're talking about

According to Kwok, introverts can get caught up in where their conversation is going and whether or not it's coming off as boring. She shares a story about interacting with a next door neighbor. "He never needed anything from us or wanted to talk about something in particular, he simply wanted to chat," she explained.

Essentially, she highlights that introverts should keep in mind that "not every conversation needs to have a purpose".

Instead, Kwok adds, "What's important is that with each interaction, you're creating an opportunity to appreciate and get to know the person in front of you."

2. Small talks builds the foundation for deeper conversations and relationships down the road

For introverts, small talk may be approached as simply surface-level conversation, but Kwok says that introverts who think this way may be missing out on developing a quality relationship.

"Small talk is like the glue that builds trust, which is at the core of any meaningful relationship. It cultivates trust by creating a safe space where you can put another person at ease and signal to them that you're a friend, not foe," she explains. "When you're talking to someone for the first time, start by finding common ground. Focus on the situation you're both in, keep the questions light and avoid overly personal topics."

small talk, small talking, awkward small talk, small talk convo, the simpsons small talk Awkward The Simpsons GIF Giphy

3. Shift the focus away from yourself

Introverts can feel less anxious during small talk by getting out of their own heads and focusing on the person they are talking to.

"Overthinking just makes things worse. The more you focus on yourself, the more awkward you'll feel," says Kwok. "Instead, flip the script. Shift your focus away from yourself and onto the person you're talking to. Let them take center stage and direct the attention away from you. When you listen intently and focus on the other person, you are no longer caught up in your own thoughts."

small talk, small talking, tell more, talking, conversation Keep Going Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Giphy

4. Don't take it personally if a conversation doesn't flow

Kwok shares a story about a small talk conversation that happened between her and a woman at her gym that received a short response.

"My initial thought was, 'Maybe I don't look friendly enough or I asked a lame question," Kwok shares.

Rather than criticize herself, though, Kwok chose to put herself in the woman's shoes. "You can't always know what someone's going through by just looking at them. So, if the small talk doesn't flow or your conversation partner seems uninterested, don't beat yourself up over it," she said.

From Your Site Articles

introverts

Business

Billionaire Warren Buffett shares the one simple investment 'formula' to make everyday people richer

You don't even need extra money to start.

Warren Buffett, money, investing, billionaires, finance

USA International Trade Administration/Wikimedia Commons

Warren Buffett at the 2015 SelectUSA Investment Summit

For those who haven't heard, Warren Buffett has a lot of money. In fact, according to Forbes, at the ripe old age of 95, his net worth is 160 billion dollars, give or take day-to-day. (Bloomberg's Billionaire Index clocks him at around 150 billion.)

The thing about Buffett is he's also an incredibly generous philanthropist. A large percentage of his wealth has been given, as part of "The Giving Pledge" alongside Bill and Melinda Gates, to charitable organizations. Success Reporter Preston Fore writes for Fortune, "At the time of launch, the trio asked members of the ultra-rich to donate at least 50% of their wealth to charity, and Buffett specifically pledged to donate more than 99% of his wealth to philanthropy during his lifetime or at death."

Fore also notes that Buffett has given a lot. "In total, Buffett’s giving has reached over $60 billion—much of it to the Gates Foundation, which focuses on fighting poverty, disease, and inequity." As time has gone on, Buffett is more focused on leaving his three children money so that they too can invest in people, ideas, and philanthropic organizations to make a difference.

See on Instagram

Speaking of investment, Buffett is adamant about sharing his tips with others. Not only does he donate generously, he genuinely seems to love giving advice, even to those of us with very little to invest. He has written many books, imparting his wisdom on young investors ready to jump in and make their own personal fortunes.

And the main formula for investing? "Invest in knowledge." In Deputy Associate Editor Mithilesh Jha's piece for The Financial Express, it's shared that Buffett "himself reads more than 500 pages daily." Buffett insists that we should all "go to bed smarter than when you woke up."

Writer Caleb Naysmith notes in Yahoo! Finance that Buffett has expressed that his one addictive vice, reading, is the reason he became so successful. And because he stressed the idea of going down rabbit holes of subjects that actually interest him, it leads to greater success. Naysmith mentions a few super cool investments Buffett made, helping to garner him billions. A couple of them include: "Coca-Cola (KO): In 1988, Buffett invested heavily in Coca-Cola despite negative sentiment following the 'New Coke' fiasco. His extensive reading helped him recognize the enduring strength of the brand and its business model, leading to one of his most successful investments."

warren buffett investments, coke, coca-cola, money, brands A person pulls a Coke from the cooler. Giphy Coca-Cola Party Soccer Gig

Another of Buffet's investments, American Express, was also facing a tough time in the 60s. "After a major financial scandal in the 1960s, Buffett’s deep understanding—built through research and reading—allowed him to see value where others saw only risk. His investment in American Express became another legendary win."

Knowledge is power, so once one has that, they can start small and grow big, like Buffett did. According to Investing.com, "By age six, he was selling chewing gum door to door; by age eleven, his father helped him to purchase his first stock—three shares of Cities Service Preferred at $38 apiece."

"The rules are simple. Rule #1: Don't lose money. Rule #2: Don't forget rule number one."

See on Instagram

And for those of us who don't have much to begin with? Small investment can equal higher returns.

William Buffett gives advice on investing. www.youtube.com, The Long Term Investor

But, it should be stated that even though the old adage is "money makes the world go round," even Buffett attests to the fact that if one is in reasonably good condition (has food, a place to live, is relatively healthy) that love is the most important factor. He believes that if one is surrounded by love, especially as they get into their Golden Years, that's the biggest key to success.

Warren Buffett shares the key to success. www.youtube.com, Yahoo! Finance

From Your Site Articles

warren buffett