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Health

19 simple therapist insights that instantly transformed people's lives

One piece of advice can change everything.

therapists, therapy advice, relationships
via SHVETS production/Pexels

A therapist shares some advice with her clients.

A good therapist has the magical ability to take our messiest problems and break them down in a way that makes sense. They have an incredible way of showing us our struggles from a fresh perspective and quite often, the answers were right in front of our faces the whole time. We just needed their help to nudge us in the right direction.

For some, a therapist's simple, sage wisdom can change their lives with just one poignant realization.

Recently, a Redditor named BuildingBridges23 asked people on the subforum to share the priceless bits of wisdom that changed their lives and over 5,300 people responded. The pithy but powerful observations they shared were helpful to many people and more than one called the thread “free therapy.”

Here are 19 of the best responses to the question: “What's something your therapist said that was life-changing?”

1. You can't fix sick

"You're going to put yourself in an early grave trying to make your mother happy. Your mother is sick, trying to make her happy is like trying to fill a bucket that has no bottom, its not going to happen unless she fixes the bucket. You can't fix it for her." — ModerateDude9


2. Other people's feelings

"I asked him, 'How do you process all of the negative feelings that are projected at you?' and he said "They aren't my feelings.'" — Wirestyle22


3. Coping with death

"'The way your parents died will never be the most interesting thing about you. It's not even the most interesting thing about THEM.' My parents died by suicide together and I was worried that it was going to consume me as an individual. I didnt want their deaths or my grief to become my entire identity." — Crazyofo


4. Being brave

"When I broke down because I was so fed up with being scared and anxious all the time, he said something like. 'You can’t be brave without being scared first.' It always stuck with me that fear, no matter how overwhelming, won’t last forever and I try to see it as a chance for me to prove to myself I can fight back and try to get through this." — AnxiousAxolotyl88


5. Change

"Change happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change." ؅— SpicyEmmaa

6. Dealing with mental illness

"Just because the mentally ill person screaming at you lives in your home instead of on the streets doesn't mean their opinion is any more true." — UnorignalUse

7. People are like colanders

"Some people are like a colander. It doesn't matter how much time, love and support you pour into them, it will never fill them up enough to make a difference." — Competitive-Watch188

8. Boundaries

"The only people in your life who will be angry because you established boundaries were the people who benefitted from you not having them in the first place." — Imagine_magic

9. Other people's anxiety

"'Be the mirror, not the sponge.' Don’t absorb other people’s stress and anxiety, show it back to them gently. Changed my life." — CariocaInLA

10. Sensitive people

"That being a 'highly sensitive person' is just how I’m built. It’s not something that’s wrong with me or something that I necessarily have to change. I just have to accept it, to learn my boundaries and needs and live accordingly." — stuttering-mime-ta2


11. For people-pleasers

"'You don’t need to please everyone all of the time. People who love you will not leave you because you disagree with them or do something they don’t like.' She nailed a lot of my behaviours back to the fact my biological dad left when I was 9 months old. I cannot cope with perceived abandonment, and will do everything in my power to keep people happy… because they might leave me." — RhiR2020

12. It's not about you

"'You aren’t that interesting.' I would have panic attacks and paranoia that people were out to get me (PTSD, etc) and would think that people were judging me in grocery stores because my toddler was crying or that my hair was messy. And honestly it boiled down to…nobody cares. We’re all trying to survive and get through the day and what someone looks like or does, we observe and move on." — jac_kayyy

13. Judgement

"We judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by their actions." — Horny_Rapunzel

14. It's simple

"'The answer is simple. That doesn't mean it's easy, but it's simple.' I was doing what I always do in difficult, scary situations that I don't want to deal with head-on; I was overthinking and over-complicating what I needed to do to be happy again. The answer was actually quite simple: I needed to tell my (now ex-husband) that I wanted a divorce." — RovenshereExpress

15. Realize your unhappiness

"At the third session with our couples counselor, my wife and I had a brief ten-minute private session with our therapist. During my session, the therapist said, 'You need to accept the possibility of a divorce. You are trying to do the right thing and be supportive, but you can't do that alone. Your wife is taking advantage of you. You can't see how unhappy you are. That will change within a year after your divorce.' Yup. She was right. My wife and I agreed to divorce during the 4th session. I am finally happy, and love my life." — BlueCollarBeagle

16. Hurt

"Just because you were hurt when you were younger, doesn't mean randoms have the right to hurt you now." — Paeliens

17. See-saw relationship

"A relationship is like a see-saw. If the other person doesn't want to participate, you can keep going, but you'll get really tired." — SendInYourSkeleton

18. Panic

"Not my therapist, but a friend told me hers said this: 'You do not have enough information to panic about that yet.' Whenever I catch myself spiraling about the unknown, I try to remember that." — Bananaphone1549

19. Heart attacks

"It wasn’t my therapist, it was my doctor, but it was life-changing. I had been 300+ pounds all of my adult life and I was in for a physical and he said to me: 'You know, the first symptom of a heart attack is a heart attack.' It was what caused me to change my life at age 54 and lose 110 pounds in 16 months and I became a runner. I have run a race in all 50 states, 26 Halifax marathons and 2 full marathons, Chicago and Boston. That one thing he said to me kicked off my decision for better health! That was 15 years ago." — BlueJasper27

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Joy

Teacher goes above and beyond for a biology lesson by wearing an anatomically correct suit

That's one way to keep students engaged!

@mikemoratinos/X

Veronica Duque wearing her famous anatomy suit

Being an educator in the American public school system is one of the hardest jobs in our nation. Not only is the work itself challenging, but with constant battles for educational funding and a student body increasingly tethered to their electronic devices, most teachers in America and around the world are navigating uncharted territory when it comes to finding ways to keep their students engaged in their studies.

And that's why when Verónica Duque came across a form-fitting, anatomical bodysuit while doing some online shopping, she thought it would be perfect visual aid to convey vital information (pun intended) to her students in Spain, in a way they'd actually remember.

Turns out, the entire internet would remember it too.

Duque's husband tweeted a collage of images from the classroom lesson, which quickly went viral, with nearly 70,000 likes. Loosely translated, the tweet from her husband Michael reads: "Very proud of this volcano of ideas that I am lucky to have as a wife. Today she explained the human body to her students in a very original way. Great Veronica !!!"

In an interview with Bored Panda, Duque explained the thought process that led her to presenting her third-grade-class with a unique approach to learning.

"I was surfing the internet when an ad of an AliExpress swimsuit popped up," she said. "Knowing how hard it is for kids this young to visualize the disposition of internal organs, I thought it was worth giving it a try."

anatomy, anatomical suit, teachers, science, cool teachers, science class, amazonThis is a teacher who cares. assets.rebelmouse.io

Online retailers like Amazon have a number of similar anatomical bodysuits for sale. While most people apparently purchase them for Halloween costumes or as gag gifts, it's now likely that Duque's viral moment will inspire some other educators around the world to take a similar approach to teaching the body basics to their students.

anatomy, anatomical suit, teachers, science, cool teachers, science class, amazonHalloween costume, check. Amazon

While some on Twitter were critical of the suit, the vast majority have praised Duque for her innovative approach to teaching. And the anatomical bodysuit is reportedly far from her first creative endeavor in the classroom.

"I decided long ago to use disguises for history lessons," she told Bored Panda. "I'm also using cardboard crowns for my students to learn grammatical categories such as nouns, adjectives, and verbs. Different grammar kingdoms, so to say."

And when it comes to the inevitable, made-up controversy that tends to latch itself onto virtually anyone that goes viral, Duque said she says there's another far more controversial stereotype she hopes her brief moment of fame will help address.

"I'd like society to stop considering teachers to be lazy bureaucratic public servants," she said. "We're certainly not." Get this teacher a raise!

What really works about Duque's presentation is that it engages students in a sensorial experiences, which helps lessons stick (and let's face it, anything that engages he sense nowadays is a godsend). But there are other methods teachers/parents can try that don't involve wearing a suit with guts on 'em.

Here are some suggestions for hands-on "DIY experiments", courtesy of the Little Medical School website:

1. Building the respiratory system by creating a model lung with straws, balloons, bottles, and duct tape

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

2. Sculpting Body parts with Play Doh

(Grab free printable mats on 123Homeschool4Me)

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

3. Build a functioning heart model

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Of course, these lessons are a little more geared towards younger students, but at the same time, it could provide some inspiration for how to get students more involved in their own learning, just like Duque did.

This article originally appeared six years ago.

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Humor

Women are having a hilariously hard time with Robert Irwin's shocking new underwear ad

"For the love of Steve, nobody look."

Photo credit: Canva and Wikimedia

Women have hilarious reaction to Robert Irwin's underwear ad

Many Millennials hold a very special place in their hearts for Steve Irwin, the famous "Crocodile Hunter" who spent his time educating the world about wildlife conservation in Australia. As we came to know Steve, we also got to know his wife Terri, daughter Bindi and son Robert. The little family quickly infiltrated the hearts of people everywhere, causing Steve's sudden and tragic death in 2006 to majorly impact the public zeitgeist.

Watching his kids grow up and follow in his footsteps has been a source of comfort for many, especially because they harbor no ill-will or fear for the wildlife that ultimately killed Steve. As a family, it's clear that they understand and preach, as Steve did, the importance of protecting and respecting animals in all their wonder and danger.

We got to know Irwin's children and wife on a level that felt personal in many ways; some would even go as far as to say that the Irwins feel like family. So, imagine everyone's surprise when Robert Irwin, the baby of the family, revealed pictures from his new underwear ad for Bonds, an Australian underwear brand. Bonds is now launching in the United States with the youngest Irwin as the face of the campaign.

Robert cut back on carbs and hit a few more sit ups to prepare for the campaign. When it was time for him to drop his trousers, he was ready... Women, however, were not—but in the most wholesome way possible.

Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter, australia, wildlife, conservationNo Problem Thumbs Up GIFGiphy

It's hard to adjust when people you "knew" when they were a baby are all of the sudden an adult. It's easy to keep such people in the "little kid" category, which colors how we see them at all times. This is especially evident when looking back at celebrities who began as child stars. For those who've been in the public eye from a young age get older, there's generally a phase of outward expression of their sexuality and adult—sometimes in the extreme. During this phase, those who were attempting to hold onto that celebrity's childhood tend to finally move them into the "adult" category—once their shock wears off, that is.

Robert is a little different, though. He's grown up in the public eye and remained just as wholesome as everyone knew his family to be. While he's not doing anything wild, seeing the 21-year-old in nothing but his skivvies with an eight pack of abs (I didn't realize abs came in that number) made some women feel like they just walked in on their little brother. Of course, the only one who has any right to feel like they're seeing their little brother in their underwear is Bindi, but I'm sure she'll allow us to share the shock with her.

jimmy fallon, robert irwin, steve irwin, child star, famejimmy fallon turtle GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Giphy

People shared the exclusive photos to their Facebook page, where we elder Millennials are still hanging strong, and it's safe to say, collectively, we were not prepared.

One woman writes, "Me: scrolling through my news feed. Me: seeing pictures of this guy. Me: oh who's this? Also me: omg! This isn't baby Irwin! I feel like a long distance aunt to you. We can't be having none of this."

Another says, "Robert Irwin! We will call your mama so fast . You are still 10 years old. Where are your clothes? All of your Aunties cannot be seeing you misbehaving like this."

Someone else jokes, "This feels illegal. Someone call Terri to get her son."

"Boy. No.. Good for him for getting the confidence in his own skin and body. But, no.. We cousins. I enjoyed watching your kind dad wrestling with alligators and crocodiles growing up. He's a neat guy. I can't be crushing on this boy. We cousins," another commenter cries.

The confusion around why the youngest Irwin is darn near naked on newsfeeds across the globe is hilariously pure. It feels like we should slowly close the door and avoid eye contact until a respectable amount of time has passed. Here's what a few others are saying about his underwear modeling debut:

"This feels so wrong, you are the Earths treasure. We not supposed to see what’s down under," one person writes.

"Robert, I literally watched your mother gestate you. Put ya clothes on!," someone else laughs.

Another woman says, "I was like…. I know this ain’t little pookie from that Irwin family down the street. I want to unsee it. Aunty getting too old for this."

Once again someone is asking for Terri's backup, "Robert Irwin!!!!! Does your mother know about these?!?!"

Clearly people are happy that Robert is out here living his best life, but if you need elder Millennial women for anything, we will all be recovering for three to five business days and waiting for Terri to come grab Robert by the ear. He's just a baby. We weren't ready.

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Education

American English includes one of the rarest sounds on Earth, but we use it all the time

Er…this is odd.

Photo credit: Canva

Learning to make sounds we didn't grow up with can be tricky.

When (or if) kids learn phonics at school, they're taught the symbols that go with sounds of their country's native language or languages. People all around the world grow up learning to make specific sounds with their mouths by imitating the language(s) they are immersed in, which can leave us completely unaware of how many other sounds there are until we hear a language that's far different from our own.

Even the common foreign languages that American school kids learn have sounds that can be tricky to get down. The rolled "r" in Spanish. The nuances of French vowel pronunciations. The glottal stops in German. The sound that's a mix between "r" and "l" in Japanese. And for people learning English, one of the trickiest sounds to get down is "er," as in the American pronunciation of "bird," "world," "summer," or "percent."

Oddly enough, for as common as the "er" sound is in English, it's linguistically rare. According to the Linguistics Channel @human1011, the "er" sound is found in less than 1% of the world's languages, rarer than the click consonants found in some languages in East and Southern Africa.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

As rare as the sound is, there are a lot of people in the world who use it, mainly because it's also used in Mandarin Chinese, or at least many variations of it. So, while there aren't many languages that use it, by sheer numbers of people, it's not that uncommon.

"So, a sound that's so rare that it's in less than 1% of the world's languages just happens to exist in the two most spoken languages on Earth? Can that really be a coincidence?" the @human1011 video asks. Well, yes. English and Chinese don't share a common linguistic root, so those sounds just happened to evolve in very different parts of the planet. According to some people in the comments of the video, there are regional dialects in Brazil where the "er" sound is used and in certain parts of the Netherlands as well.

Pronouncing the "er" sound is hard if you don't grow up with it, largely because it's all about the placement and shape of the tongue inside the mouth combined with the way the lips are positioned. That combination is physically tricky to show someone. This video, from a non-native-English-speaker does a good job of explaining the mouth movements that create the sound.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

What's particularly interesting about the "er" sound in American English is that it functions as a vowel sound. Most of us learned that the vowels in English are a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y, and that's true as far as written vowels go, but vowel sounds are different. In the word "bird," the letter "i" is a vowel, but doesn't make any of the "i" sounds that we learned in school. Instead, the "ir" combine to make the "er" vowel sound. It's called an r-controlled vowel, and we see it in tons of words like "work," "were," "burn," "skirt," etc.

Learn something new every day, right?

Here's another video that explains the physical aspects of articulating the r-controlled vowel sound.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Most of us don't think about the fact that sounds we pronounce without even thinking about it have to be specifically learned and practiced by people who didn't grow up with them. It's not until we start trying to learn a language that's different from our own that we see how many sounds we have to work hard to make, sometimes even having to train our mouth muscles in ways they've never been used before.

It's also a good reminder to be patient and kind with people who are learning a language. It's not easy, and anyone making an effort to communicate in someone else's language deserves our grace and kudos.

You can follow @human1011 on YouTube for more interesting linguistics trivia.

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Joy

Ring doorbell catches the moment man tells neighbor he saved her from home invasion

This is what you call a good neighbor.

Photo credit: Canva

Man saves neighbor from home invader in show of community

Your home is supposed to be one of the safest places for you to be, but there are times when that safety is shattered due to another's actions. The sad truth is people have very little control over whether they'll deal with a burglary, attempted or otherwise. There are plenty of measures one can take to safeguard their home, but thanks to advancing technology and general craftiness, it may not always be enough. Thankfully, there are neighbors who notice when something isn't quite right.

It's often good neighbors who are quick to alert the police if something is awry. One woman realized her neighbor was looking out for her when he showed up on her porch to talk to her through her Ring doorbell camera. Kimberly S. recently shared a video of her neighbor who alerted her that someone was attempting to break into her home.

At the time, Kimberly was at home alone with her children. She had no clue she was almost the victim of a burglary (or worse) until her doorbell rang. In the video, you see her neighbor, Vagner Soares, trying to explain the situation after the single mom asks who he is.

burglar, thief, break in, neighbor, good neighborbreak in GIF by HULUGiphy

"This is your neighbor. I seen someone trying to break into your house and I confronted him about it and he said that he knew the owner over here," Soares says, appearing a little apprehensive. He then explains that the man was on the side of her house trying to break in. "Yeah, it's a big white guy. He's a big white guy, he has long hair with a beard."

Kimberly was audibly shaken up upon hearing the news. She kept repeating, "He was on the side?" as if she was trying to make sense of what was happening. Soares makes sure to share exactly what happened so Kimberly could relay it to the police once they arrived.

"Yeah, he was like on his knees trying to open the door. I was watching him, I was like why is he so suspicious and then I got out the car and confronted him and he said he knew the owner over there and I said it could be a problem if you come back over here. But I said I was going to come over and let you know what's going on," the man says.

@virgobladefit Huge thanks and blessings to my neighbor for not only warning me but also helping deter this man from breaking into my home. Grateful for good people who look out for each other. If you’re in Rhode Island and recognize who my neighbor is describing, let me know or the police… let’s keep our communities safe 🥹😭🩷 #RhodeIsland #CommunityWatch #StaySafe #NeighborhoodWatch #RingCamera #BreakInAlert #CrimePrevention #BeAware #ProtectYourHome #LookOutForEachOther ♬ original sound - Kimberly S

The mom responded to the news by telling Soares she was scared. She then asked him to wait on her porch while she called the police. According to a follow-up video, the police did come, but they left after looking around her house since they couldn't identify the would-be criminal. It was revealed later in a comment that Soares and his girlfriend drove around after the police left and spotted the man, recorded a video of him, and sent it to Kimberly who then filed a police report of the incident. People can't get enough of the man's kindness in looking out for his neighbor.

"If we had more men like this we wouldn’t choose the bear! Love that he stood up for you and let the man know it’d be a problem if he seen him again," one commenter says.

@virgobladefit Replying to @Nelly **UPDATE** #RhodeIsland #CommunityWatch #StaySafe #NeighborhoodWatch #RingCamera #BreakInAttempt #CrimeAlert #HomeSecurity #ProtectYourHome #SafetyFirst #LookOutForEachOther #BeAware #StayVigilant ♬ original sound - Kimberly S

"So brave of him to confront that man because he could’ve been dangerous. As scary as this is, it’s good to know you have somebody who has your back like him," writes another

"This is what it’s about! We gotta come together as a community and look out for each other," another shared, and still another added, "This reminds me of how it used to be where your neighbors looked out for each other. Now a days you don’t even know your next door neighbor smh."

Kimberly does clarify that her neighbor wasn't the only one that saw the person attempting to break in. Several neighbors saw the man but it was Soares who confronted him and informed her about it while the other neighbors supported Soares out of the view of the camera. Unfortunately, there is no news of any arrests but the mom did install more cameras to cover the side door and has a large dog to help deter any more burglary attempts. It's also probably good to know her neighbors are looking out for each other.

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Pop Culture

Guy enthralls millions of viewers by singing exactly like the late Michael Jackson

He even nailed the signature "he he."

Constru-centro/Wikimedia Commons

Brandon Conway sounds remarkably like Michael Jackson when he sings.

When Michael Jackson died 13 years ago, the pop music world lost a legend. However markedly mysterious and controversial his personal life was, his contributions to music will go down in history as some of the most influential of all time.

Part of what made him such a beloved singer was the uniqueness of his voice. From the time he was a young child singing lead for The Jackson 5, his high-pitched vocals stood out. Hearing him sing live was impressive, his pitch-perfect performances always entertaining.

No one could ever really be compared to MJ, or so we thought. Out of the blue, a guy showed up on TikTok recently with a casual performance that sounds so much like the King of Pop it's blowing people away.

michael jackson, tiktok, viral video, michael jackson impersonator, michael jackson covers, michael jackson songs, brandon conwayThis is too good. media1.giphy.com

Brandon Conway posted his first TikTok video ever on July 24 in 2022, and in less than three weeks was viewed more than 27 million times. It's just him standing in a parking lot snapping his fingers and singing "The Way You Make Me Feel," but when he opens his mouth, whoa.

As he keeps going, it gets even more whoa. Then he hits Jackson's signature "he he" and the whoa turns into what?!?

Take a listen:

@brandonconway11 First post on tiktok let me know what you guys think! More videos coming soon feom mj to country to rock so yall be sure to stay tuned!#fyp #singer #usherchallenge @usher @tpain #letsgo #firstvideo ♬ original sound - Brandon


Uncanny, right? If you need a reminder of how Jackson himself sounded when he sang it, here's a live performance from Auckland during his 1996 world tour.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Very impressive, to say the least. Especially considering Conway seems to label himself a country singer over a pop artist.

@brandonconway11 This one goes out to all the ones who maybe going through it right now… the messsge you ask?? The message is knowing that regardless of how bad things may be or get it’s always okay to ask for help… no matter how you do it or when the fact still remains that we all need a little help or “saving” if you will! @Jelly Roll my brother thank you and @Lainey Wilson for such a beautiful song ❤️ I hope you all enjoy my cover of this great record with my right hand man @JoshHamiltonmusic__ strumming his guitar! Happy Monday everyone hope your Christmas filled week is beautiful 🙏🏽#brandonconwaymusic #viralvideo #coversongsontiktok #thereisalwayshope ♬ original sound - Brandon

Basically, he can't go wrong with whatever genre he does. Follow him on TikTok to hear more.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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