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Therapist shares 2 big reasons why energizing hobbies are the perfect happiness hack

There’s a big difference between “growth” hobbies and “rot” hobbies.

via Pixabay/Pexels, Lucxama Sylvain/Pexels, Tara Winstead/Pexels

People enjoying energizing hobbies,

For those who feel like they could be happier but know they’re missing a key element, a therapist has shared her “hack” to happiness and it’s pretty simple: have an energizing hobby. The conversation about the happy hobby hack started on TikTok when marketing expert Harrison Swales noted that all his “successful” and “happy” friends have one thing in common: they enjoy energizing hobbies.

He added that instead of binging on Netflix or drinking all weekend, they were either in sports leagues or enjoyed creating things like books or videos instead of passively watching what other people make on TikTok.

"I don't know if it's directly correlated to your career and success in other areas of your life," he said, "but it certainly seems like it." The video went viral, amassing over 560,000 views and inspired a follow-up from therapist Israa Nasir, who shared the psychological reasons why energizing hobbies are so beneficial.

"This is literally the way to hack your happiness," Nasir said in response to the video, "and there are two reasons why this creator is totally accurate."

@israajnasir

#stitch with @Harrison Swales where is the lie? #neurosciencetok #happinesstips #positivepsychology #emotionalresilience

1. Sense of flow

"A sense of flow is being so present and immersed in the present moment, being completely where you are,” she said, adding that it’s a state where "mind and body [are] in the same place, and you're engaging in something that gives you joy or creativity or movement, boosts dopamine in your mind.”

"When we're able to engage in that long period of time in a state of flow, we have a slow, sustained state of dopamine," Nasir continued. "So that we feel happier for longer, which is the opposite experience when we do things like scrolling mindlessly or watching Netflix or mindlessly drinking."

2. Hobbies de-center work and romantic relationships

"If you think about it, your whole life is structured around work … and your romantic relationship,” Nassir explained. “So that makes us very flat and one-dimensional. By adding hobbies, we add more depth and dimension into our life."

She then had a message for the TikTokkers out there who claim they don’t have enough time for a new hobby. "Open your phone app where it measures how much time you're spending on social media and you'll see that you're probably spending three to four hours a day on your phone," she said. "So even if you cut that in half, you can make time for energizing hobbies."

So now that we know that energizing hobbies are a key to happiness, what are they, specifically? In the comments section, Nasir clarified what she meant by energizing hobbies, saying that they are any activity that helps you lose yourself or enter a state of flow.

That could mean dancing, doing puzzles, playing a musical instrument, playing golf, crocheting, metal detecting at the park, surfing, writing, or any other creative activity. One commenter compared energizing hobbies with those that aren’t beneficial. “I have growth hobbies and rot hobbies. You can guess which ones are energizing vs draining,” Curtis Lane wrote.

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Family

Gen X mom shares the revelations she got after her son gave her an ultimatum

If she didn't go to therapy, they would have no contact.

@fiftiesrediscovery/TikTok

One Gen X shares some amazing revelations she had in therapy

Not that long ago, the thought of adult children choosing estrangement from their parents would have been seen as fairly atypical, even if their parents engaged in toxic behavior. But now, many trauma-informed millennials and Gen Zers are going the low-to-no-contact route—as many as 25% of young adults, according to The Hill.

But even if it is becoming more common, that doesn’t mean it’s an easy choice to make. It often comes after multiple failed attempts to improve communication, set healthy boundaries and establish a healthy dynamic.

And for many older parents, who didn’t grow up with nearly as much readily available mental health information, being asked to take accountability by their children can be triggering. So then stubbornness sets in, disguising itself as “not being controlled.” This leaves no one really getting what they want though, which is, presumably, a parent-child relationship.

But if older parents can find it within themselves to do the work their children desperately ask for, and try to come at the situation with an open mind rather than being defensive, healing is possible. Just take this mom’s word for it.

As one Gen X mom (who goes by @fiftiesrediscovery or Fabulous Fifties) shared on TikTok, her adult son gave her an ultimatum: go to therapy or there would be no contact.

One viewer asked this mom how she could discern whether an ultimatum like this was actually abuse. Fabulous Fifties completely understood where this person was coming from.

"I so get this. Because when I started this journey, I thought that same thing," she said, adding that she expected her kids to “step up in some way” in exchange for her agreeing to therapy.

So Fabulous Fifties went to fix a relationship with her son. Or so she thought. In actuality, she got to work on herself. And in that process, many things began to click.

"We started digging into my trauma, and I went, oh, wait a minute, my mom was traumatized. And then she handed it down to me, and then I handed it down to my kids,” she shared. “And now the relationship between me and my kids is like this.”

@fiftiesrediscovery Replying to @treefairy5 #healingtrauma #traumatherapy #intergenerationaltrauma ♬ original sound - Fabulous fifties!!

“Why is that?" she said, answering that younger generations have “access to mental health information” her generation simply did not, making them more able to spot and respond to harmful patterns, rather than internalize them like many older age groups have been forced to.

"They know what toxic is. They understand what trauma is. And even if they haven't worked their way out of that trauma yet, they know what a toxic mom is."

After having these types of revelations and continuing to do the work on herself, the relationship between Fabulous Fifties and her son began to repair itself naturally. She was even able to help her kids heal, simply by healing herself.

Furthermore, it gave her a better understanding of her son’s given ultimatum. Instead of labeling it as “abuse,” she now recognizes it as “trauma.”

“They weren't abusing me. They were coming from a place of pain,” she said, even being able to own that the source of the pain were mistakes she made as a mom.

Fabulous Fifties now considers herself a cycle breaker of generational trauma, and helps others on similar journeys by sharing what she’s learned along the way.

Coming face-to-face with our shadows and rewriting years upon years of subconscious patterns isn’t an easy, comfortable or even short process. But this story shows that it can be extremely worthwhile, if only we can muster the courage and patience to do it.

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Health

Clinical psychologist lists signs that mean it’s time to seek mental health help

In the end, wanting or needing someone to talk to is just as good as any other reason.

Dr. Julie|TikTok

Psychologist lists signs it's time to seek mental health care.

Knowing when to seek mental health care is not always as cut and dry as people may believe. Many people wrestle with whether or not they should speak to a therapist, psychiatrist or even their primary care physician about their struggles. Working in mental health, it often comes up that people minimize their own struggles with the thought that someone else has it worse so they shouldn't be struggling.

This may cause people to second guess when exactly they need to seek help. Dr. Julie, a clinical psychologist, posted a video on her TikTok page in order to help people figure out when they should seriously consider going to see a therapist. Some people may be surprised by the signals that indicate a need for therapy.

In the video, which has over 33k likes, Dr. Julie acts out different scenarios without speaking as what she's experiencing in those moments floats above her head in text overlay.

One of the very first signs that someone should consider therapy is, "Nothing seems to help and you're starting to feel hopeless." Hopelessness can be an indicator of depression, especially if it's paired with other things like not finding joy in things that used to make you happy or sleeping more often.

Another sign that Dr. Julie displayed on the screen was, "Your mood changes have persisted for several weeks or more." Again, barring a major life event like the loss of a loved one where feeling down is expected, this can signal depression. But what's most important to know is that any time you feel concerned about your mental health, you can seek therapy.

Therapy isn't something to be ashamed of or reserved for people who live with severe mental illnesses. In fact, you could simply need an unbiased perspective, want to gain tools for moments of stress or be experiencing a life change like a breakup. As a therapist myself, I want people to know that you don't have to be in distress to seek out therapy. Going for mental health maintenance is a perfectly acceptable reason.

Check out Dr. Julie's video below:

@drjuliesmith

Seek help any time you are concerned about your #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthsupport #psychologist

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Joy

Funny video shows what other countries' figures of speech sound like in American English

What in the world does "riding the goat" mean?

via Aaron Alon/YouTube

A woman expresses her frustrations with her partner in a therapist's office.

When learning a new language, one of the most challenging things is picking up figures of speech, or idioms. The big reason is that a lot of them don’t make sense.

Aaron Alon had a lot of fun with funny idioms from around the globe, including 70 from 28 different languages, in a video called "Communication Problems.” Alon is an award-winning composer, writer, director, filmmaker and teacher who shares his talents on his YouTube channel.

The video features a couple sharing their relationship problems with a therapist while speaking in idioms from other countries in American English. While the couple talks in incomprehensible expressions, their approximate English meanings and the country from which they originate are shown in the subtitles.

What in the world is the “age of the turkey”? What does it mean to still be “riding the goat”? Why would somebody “pay the duck”?

The video is great because even though the actors speak in total gibberish, they play it with a straight face and really sell the idea that these are terms people use in other countries. But to be fair, people in other countries probably think Americans are speaking total gibberish when they utter phrases such as, “I heard it straight from the horse’s mouth” or “I’m about to go postal.”

One of the biggest takeaways from the video is that Mongolia has the best way of responding when someone sneezes. Instead of simply saying, “Bless you,” they say, "God bless you, and may your mustache grow like brushwood."

Visit Aaron Alon’s website for a complete list of idioms in the video.

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