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Health

Here are the 17 types of people who deserve a lot more sympathy than they ever get

People in “unskilled” positions deserve a lot more credit.

sympathy, empathy, invisible problems
via Tom Edgington/Flickr and Pexels

Shy and depressed people deserve our sympathy.

The world would be a lot better if we all could put our prejudices aside and see people for who they are as individuals. If we learned how to lean in with our hearts a bit more instead of our judgmental minds, we’d probably treat each other with much more sympathy.

Sadly, we still have a long way to go as a society until we reach that point.

One of the most significant ways that we misjudge others is by attributing their status, appearance and social skills to their moral compass. People who are economically disadvantaged, overweight, or socially awkward are often cast in a negative light because many think that everyone who falls short of a societal “ideal” have done so out of laziness.

However, that type of thinking is lazy in and of itself.

The saying goes, “You never know what anyone is going through, so be kind,” and it’s true. There are a lot of people out there who are struggling with things we don’t realize. Further, we have no idea what people have overcome to be where they are today.

To help people better understand what others are going through, a Reddit user by the name of anthropocener47 asked the online forum, “What kind of people often get treated with less sympathy?” Many responses are in support of those who are struggling with issues we can’t see.

The post went viral on Reddit, earning over 8,000 comments. The responses were a great reminder that we are often quick to judge others while knowing very little about them.

So here are 17 types of people that could use much more sympathy.

1.

"Disabled people or people born with deformities/rare diseases." — KommandaKoopa

2.

"People missing front teeth." — bizobimba

RogerSaysHi added:

"This really sucks too. My husband fell and broke a front tooth a few years ago. We've tried getting it fixed several times, but the fixes just break off. We're going to have to get him an implant, as he's getting older, his teeth are getting more brittle. It's just that implants cost as much as a damned used car. You can tell that it has kind of killed his confidence a little bit. He doesn't smile as much as he used to. It absolutely blows."

3.

"Socially inept people—can be due to disorders or simply due to awkwardness. If you can't play the game and act 'normal,' sooner or later you will be made to pay for it. Sooner than later, probably." — RavensQueen502

4.

"The homeless, the poor, the mentally ill." — Ok-Equivalent-8509

SchemataObscura added:

"Came to say all of those and addiction."

5.

"Poor people." — Pretty-Benefit-233

Cmc added:

"This. There's a real disdain towards poorer people like they should magically be able to make more money. For lots of people, they have disadvantages that make that more difficult—lack of education or support, lack of time, illness or disability, or even just being stuck in a neverending cycle and having to time/money/ability to get themselves out. For some others, they prioritize other parts of life over money, and there's nothing wrong with making that choice for yourself."

6.

"Ugly people 100%." — dannywarpick

7.

"I had a hard time sympathizing with people who suffer from severe anxiety. My attitude was always 'just deal with it, stress is temporary.' Last summer, there was a series of events that triggered unprecedented anxiety for me, I didn't eat for days at a time, barely slept, and could barely function at work. It was absolutely debilitating and felt completely uncontrollable. A week on vacation helped but it came back as soon as I got home. So I went to my doctor and he prescribed a few meds, which helped a lot. Now I understand that kind of crippling anxiety, and I'm a lot more sympathetic to those who struggle to manage it." — EncanisUnbound

8.

"People in 'unskilled' positions. Sure, a burger flipper or custodian doesn’t need a college degree, but unskilled =/= not hard work. Having to prepare so much food in little time, deal with rude customers, and cleaning up stuff. The number of stories of people smearing poop on the walls. The stuff these people go through, people should feel sympathy." — guzhogi

Brilliant Tourist added:

"Skilled tradespeople get no respect, and they deserve ALL the respect. We freaking NEED auto mechanics and plumbers. Without them, the world doesn’t run, period, full stop."

9.

"Fat people. I’ve been fat and I’ve been skinny and the difference in how people treat you is astounding." — iamanachogirl

Ragingfeminineflower added:

"I said this too. I’ve been both also. I lost weight and didn’t understand why suddenly everyone smiled at me, people started to bend over backward to help me with things, greeted me more, gave me more genuine conversation even… and yes, genuine respect. I slowly started to realize why. I am and always have been the same person, but I know who others terribly are now."

10.

"Depressed or sad people. It's a nightmare..." — disabled-R1ggs

11.

"People that don't smile. My best friend is an absolute angel of a person but I've only seen him smile a few times over the last 7 years. Traumatic events are a mother f***er." – rockonyou717

12.

"The extremely socially awkward among us. My younger brother has been diagnosed with OCD and autism, has zero friends, and has never been kissed or dated in even the most elementary type way (he's almost 25 now). The world has not been kind to him throughout all this and it breaks my heart." — [deleted]

rocket_dog 1980 added:

"Boy, this hits hard. My oldest son (17) is incredibly awkward. Adults (my friends and teachers) treat him great and have nothing but positive things to say about him. He has not been embraced by his peers though. He doesn't have any friends his age. Most kids avoid him altogether. Sad."

13.

"People who die of suicide. My cousin killed himself when he was 19. I was shocked at how people (many who didn’t even know him) reacted when they found out. People got angry at him and talked about how selfish he was. The priest who did the service at his funeral couldn’t even bother to express sympathy for him. He had a very hard 19 years—neglectful parents (bad enough to be removed by CPS), juvenile detention, and battling heroin addiction, and spent his last few moments hanging from an extension cord in a moldy basement. If that doesn’t make someone worthy of sympathy I don’t know what does." — ladyphase

14.

"Shy people." — RudolfMaster

15.

"The elderly. Elder abuse is rampant." — janice-mericson

16.

"People who lose their temper when desperately trying to get people to understand that they have been abused." — Salty_Technician2481

17.

"Migrant workers. Imagine moving to a different country, you work your ass off to earn a good living, and some stupid bastards tell you that you’re lazy or you’re 'taking jobs from more deserving people.' Xenophobia is the most prominent form of bigotry where I’m from and it is all just hateful, ridiculous slander." — sheldonisautistic


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empathy for all
Joy

American woman forced to change her name after learning what it means in Australia

Things are a bit different Down Under.

via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels and Ethan Brooke/Pexels

A woman is shocked to learn that her name means something totally different in Australia.

Devyn Hales, 22, from California, recently moved to Sydney, Australia, on a one-year working visa and quickly learned that her name wouldn’t work Down Under. It all started when a group of men made fun of her on St. Patrick’s Day.

After she introduced herself as Devyn, the men laughed at her. "They burst out laughing, and when I asked them why, they told me devon is processed lunch meat,” she told The Daily Mail. It's similar to baloney, so I introduce myself as Dev now,” she said in a viral TikTok video with over 1.7 million views.

For those who have never been to Australia, Devon is a processed meat product usually cut into slices and served on sandwiches. It is usually made up of pork, basic spices and a binder. Devon is affordable because people buy it in bulk and it’s often fed to children. Australians also enjoy eating it fried, like spam. It is also known by other names such as fritz, circle meat, Berlina and polony, depending on where one lives on the continent. It's like in America, where people refer to cola as pop, soda, or Coke, depending on where they live in the country.

So, one can easily see why a young woman wouldn’t want to refer to herself as a processed meat product that can be likened to boloney or spam. "Wow, love that for us," another woman named Devyn wrote in the comments. “Tell me the name thing isn't true,” a woman called Devon added.

@dhalesss

#fypシ #australia #americaninaustralia #sydney #aussie

Besides changing her name, Dev shared some other differences between living in Australia and her home country.

“So everyone wears slides. I feel like I'm the only one with 'thongs'—flip-flops—that have the little thing in the middle of your big toe. Everyone wears slides,” she said. Everyone wears shorts that go down to your knees and that's a big thing here.”

Dev also noted that there are a lot of guys in Australia named Lachlan, Felix and Jack.

She was also thrown off by the sound of the plentiful magpies in Australia. According to Dev, they sound a lot like crying children with throat infections. “The birds threw me off,” she said before making an impression that many people in the comments thought was close to perfect. "The birds is so spot on," Jess wrote. "The birds, I will truly never get used to it," Marissa added.

One issue that many Americans face when moving to Australia is that it is more expensive than the United States. However, many Americans who move to Australia love the work-life balance. Brooke Laven, a brand strategist in the fitness industry who moved there from the U.S., says that Aussies have the “perfect work-life balance” and that they are “hard-working” but “know where to draw the line.”

Despite the initial cultural shocks, Devyn is embracing her new life in Australia with a positive outlook. “The coffee is a lot better in Australia, too,” she added with a smile, inspiring others to see the bright side of cultural differences.

From Your Site Articles
australia
Identity

Mom has the most hilarious response to her daughter's gay friend asking to sleep over

The mother handled it fabulously.

Image created from @maymaybarclay Twitter page.

The courage to speak up to join in the fun.

Meet Mason Brian Barclay, a teen and self-described "very homosexual male." He recently wanted to attend a sleepover at his "new best friend" Houston's house, because teens are gonna teen. But he's a boy, and everyone knows boys aren't allowed to attend girls' sleepovers, because of cooties/patriarchal norms.

So he behaved more maturely than most adults, and crafted a long text message to Houston's mom, Mrs. Shelton, in which he politely asked for permission to attend Houston's sleepover.


"I think the common meaning behind only allowing the same sex to share sleepovers is due to the typical interest in the opposite sex, when, in this case, I do not like the opposite sex," he explained in the text.


Mrs. Shelton's response was so good that Mason tweeted it out and it went viral:

"Hmm. Well my husband is hot. Should I worry?" she responded.

via GIPHY

Evidently Mason found Mrs. Shelton's text hilarious. So does Twitter.

And others are just wondering if the sleepover is on, or not??

Others need to know if Houston's dad lives up to the hype:

This article originally appeared on 11.26.18

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Pop Culture

SNL sketch about George Washington's dream for America hailed an 'instant classic'

"People will be referencing it as one of the all time best SNL skits for years.”

Saturday Night Live/Youtube

Seriously, what were our forefathers thinking with our measuring system?

Ever stop to think how bizarre it is that the United States is one of the only countries to not use the metric system? Or how it uses the word “football” to describe a sport that, unlike fútbol, barely uses the feet at all?

What must our forefathers have been thinking as they were creating this brave new world?

Wonder no further. All this and more is explored in a recent Saturday Night Live sketch that folks are hailing as an “instant classic.”

The hilarious clip takes place during the American Revolution, where George Washington rallies his troops with an impassioned speech about his future hopes for their fledgling country…all the while poking fun at America’s nonsensical measurements and language rules.

Like seriously, liters and milliliters for soda, wine and alcohol but gallons, pints, and quarters for milk and paint? And no “u” after “o” in words like “armor” and “color” but “glamour” is okay?

The inherent humor in the scene is only amplified by comedian and host Nate Bargatze’s understated, deadpan delivery of Washington. Bargatze had quite a few hits during his hosting stint—including an opening monologue that acted as a mini comedy set—but this performance takes the cake.

Watch:

All in all, people have been applauding the sketch, noting that it harkened back to what “SNL” does best, having fun with the simple things.

Here’s what folks are saying:

“This skit is an instant classic. I think people will be referencing it as one of the all time best SNL skits for years.”

“Dear SNL, whoever wrote this sketch, PLEASE let them write many many MANY more!”

“Instantly one of my favorite SNL sketches of all time!!!”

“I’m not lying when I say I have watched this sketch about 10 times and laughed just as hard every time.”

“This may be my favorite sketch ever. This is absolutely brilliant.”


There’s more where that came from. Catch even more of Bargatze’s “SNL” episode here.


This article originally appeared on 10.30.23

From Your Site Articles
humor
Family

What to do when you're the child of an alcoholic

My dad was an addict, and growing up with him taught me a lot.

Photo with permission from writer Ashley Tieperman.

Ashley Tieperman and her father.


There was never just one moment in my family when we “found out" that my dad was an addict.

I think I always knew, but I never saw him actually drinking. Usually, he downed a fifth of vodka before he came home from work or hid tiny bottles in the garage and bathroom cabinets.

My name is Ashley, and I am the child of an addict. As a kid, I cried when our family dinner reservation shrunk from four to three after a man with glassy eyes stumbled through the door. I didn't guzzle the vodka, but I felt the heartbreak of missed birthdays. I feel like I should weigh 500 pounds from all the “I'm sorry" chocolate donuts. I had to grow up quicker, but it made me into the person I am today.

addiction, coping, 12 step programs, recovery

Me and my dad.

Photo with permission from writer Ashley Tieperman.

I spent many years shouting into journals about why this was happening to me. But this is the thing that no one will tell you about loving someone who has an addiction: it will force you to see the world through different eyes.

Here are some things I've learned:

1. When your family's yelling about burnt toast, they're probably also yelling about something else.

My family yelled about everything — and nothing — to avoid the messy stuff. We all handled my dad's addiction differently. My brother devoured sports. My mom took bubble baths. I slammed doors and slammed boyfriends for not understanding my family's secrets.

Regardless of the preferred coping mechanism, everyone feels pain differently.

2. Your "knight in shining armor" can't fix this.

Boyfriends became my great escape when I was young. But when I expected them to rescue me from the pain I grew up with, it never worked out. No matter how strapping they looked galloping in on those white horses, they couldn't save me or fix anything.

In the end, I realized that I had to find healing on my own before I could build a strong relationship.

3. “Don't tell anyone" is a normal phase.

When my dad punched holes in the wall, my mom covered them up with artwork. I wanted to rip the artwork down to expose all the holes, especially as a bratty teenager. But eventually I realized that it wasn't my choice. My parents had bills to pay and jobs to keep. I've learned it's common to cover up for dysfunction in your family, especially when it feels like the world expects perfection.

4. Friends probably won't get it, but you'll need them anyway.

Bulldozed by broken promises, I remember collapsing on a friend's couch from the crippling pain of unmet expectations. I hyperventilated. Things felt uncontrollable and hopeless. My friend rubbed my back and just listened.

These are the kinds of friends I will keep forever, the ones who crawled down into the dark places with me and didn't make me get back up until I was ready.

5. You can't fix addiction, but you can help.

When I was a teenager, I called a family meeting. I started by playing a Switchfoot song: “This is your life. Are you who you want to be?"

Let's skip to the punchline: It didn't work.

It wasn't just me. Nothing anyone did worked. My dad had to lose a lot — mostly himself — before he hit that place they call “rock bottom." And, in all honesty, I hate that label because “rock bottom" isn't just a one-and-done kind of place.

What can you do while you wait for someone to actually want to get help? Sometimes, you just wait. And you hope. And you pray. And you love. And you mostly just wait.

6. Recovery is awkward.

When a counselor gave me scripted lines to follow if my dad relapsed, I wanted to shred those “1-2-3 easy steps" into a million pieces.

For me, there was nothing easy about my dad's recovery. My whole family had to learn steps to a new dance when my dad went into recovery. The healing dance felt like shuffling and awkwardly stepping on toes. It was uncomfortable; new words, like trust and respect, take time to sink in. And that awkwardness is also OK.

7. I still can't talk about addiction in the past tense.

Nothing about an addict's life happens linearly. I learned that early on. My dad cycled through 12-step programs again and again, to the point where I just wanted to hurl whenever anyone tried to talk about it. And then we finally reached a point where it felt like recovery stuck.

But even now, I'll never say, “My dad used to deal with addiction." My whole family continues to wrestle with the highs and lows of life with an addict every single day.

8. Happy hours and wedding receptions aren't easy to attend.

My family will also probably never clink glasses of red wine or stock the fridge full of beer. I'm convinced happy hours and wedding receptions will get easier, but they might not. People get offended when my dad orders a Diet Coke instead of their fine whisky.

Plus, there's the paranoia factor. Surrounded by flowing liquor, I hate watching my dad crawl out of his skin, tempted to look “normal" and tackle small talk with people we barely know. I've learned that this fear will probably last for a while, and it's because I care.

9. If you close your eyes, the world doesn't just “get prettier."

With constant fear of the unknown, sometimes our world is not a pretty place. I remember watching the breaking news on 9/11 and feeling the terror of the planes crashing into the Twin Towers as if I was there.

My dad numbed the anxiety of these dark days with vodka, but this didn't paint a prettier world for him when he woke up the next day. I've dealt with the fear of the unknown with the help of boys, booze, and bad dancing on pool tables. Life hurts for everyone, and I think we all have to decide how we're going to handle the darkness.

10. Rip off the sign on your back that reads: “KICK ME. MY LIFE SUCKS."

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see only my broken journey. In some twisted way, I'm comforted by the dysfunction because it's kept me company for so long. It's easy to let the shadow of my family's past follow me around and choose to drown in the darkness.

But every day, I'm learning to turn on the light. I have to write the next chapter in my recovery story, but I can't climb that mountain with all this crap weighing me down.

11. It's OK to forgive, too.

Some people have given me sucky advice about how I should write an anthem on daddy bashing, or how to hit the delete button on the things that shaped my story.

Instead, my dad and I are both learning to celebrate the little things, like the day that he could change my flat tire. On that day, I didn't have to wonder if he was too drunk to come help me.

I can't forget all the dark nights of my childhood.

But I've learned that for my own well-being, I can't harbor bitterness until I explode.

Instead, I can love my dad, day by day, and learn to trust in the New Dad — the one with clearer eyes and a full heart. The one who rescues me when I call.


This article was written by Ashley Tieperman and originally appeared on 04.27.16

From Your Site Articles
addiction
Democracy

These 27 non-political questions can predict whether you’re a Republican or Democrat

This quiz is fascinating.


Recent polls suggest that Republicans and Democrats have slightly different tastes that have nothing to do with politics.

If you like cats, The Beatles, and Starbucks, you tend to vote Democrat. If you're into Toby Keith, Budweiser, and Dunkin' Donuts, you tend to vote Republican.

But an interesting new quiz claims to be 98 percent effective at determining people's political affiliations by asking questions that have zero to do with politics.


Click here to take the quiz.

So how does it work? (Don't read the answer if you haven't taken the quiz yet.)

According to ChartsMe, recent studies have found that people who were more prone to disgust are more conservative. This leads them to more closely align with the Republican Party.

Some scientists believe it's ancestral and that the adverse reactions to conditions we'd label “disgusting" were used to protect primitive ancestors from contamination and disease. This way a person wouldn't confuse drinking water with dirty pond scum. But if the test told you that you're a Republican, you probably won't accept that explanation because studies show you probably don't believe in evolution.

Click here to take the quiz.


This article originally appeared on 08.09.18

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