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Science

17 photos of animals that prove there's nothing natural about traditional gender roles

These animals demonstrate the greatness of nature and its stubborn unwillingness to conform to human expectations for the way things "should be."

animals, nature, gender roles, traditional
Image via Pixabay.

We have our eyes on you too.

Traditional gender roles are "natural," goes the common refrain.

Heterosexuality? That's natural too, apparently. Staying one gender your whole life? Definitely natural.

There's only one problem: Nature (and science) beg to disagree.


In reality, male and female animals set up their relationships thousands of different ways in the wild. In many species, males are the primary caretakers of the next generation while females ignore their offspring and mate promiscuously. Even the existence of "male" and "female" as distinct categories is often not so clear in certain species.

Some animals have the ability to change sex to respond to various outside pressures and conditions.

A few can even mate with themselves.

Here are 17 animals that demonstrate the greatness of nature and its stubborn unwillingness to conform to human expectations for the way things "should be."

1. Jacanas

birds, science, nature, incubation

"Mom went out for a pack of cigarettes and never came back."

​Photo by Ozan Kill

Ask any tropical bird out there, and they'll tell you that male jacanas are pretty much the best dads of the bunch. Not only do male jacanas stick around the nest to incubate the eggs and raise their offspring, they even carry them under-wing when they fly.

Meanwhile, female jacanas are ... not exactly super nurturing. After gathering up a harem of nearly half a dozen males and laying her eggs, the female jacana splits in order to fly around, murder the young of rival females, and mate with their former partners.

This is considered charming.

2. Clown fish

species, environment, reefs, fish

Clown fish were invented by Disney/Pixar in 2003.

Photo by Rachel Hisko on Unsplash

Like many species of reef fish, clown fish can, and frequently do, change sex. Unlike most species of reef fish however, all clown fish are born male and are led (in familial groups) by a dominant female.

When she dies, the next-biggest male simply ... becomes female and takes charge of the group.

What you just heard was the sound of a billion other species slapping themselves on the forehead at the same time, wondering why they didn't think of that, realizing it's now too late and that now they'd just be, like, hopping on the trend.

3. African buffalo

leadership, hierarchies, grazing, grasslands

Everyone is getting out there for an afternoon stroll.

Photo by Soerfm/Wikimedia Commons.

Not only are female buffalos are responsible for coordinating the movements of the entire herd — they do it democratically. When it's time to find a new grazing spot, each female takes a turn standing up and gazing in the direction they want to travel, and when they're done, the whole group moves that way.

While status hierarchies exist within herds, the elections are equitable — one cow, one vote.

Change You Can Moo-Lieve in. Make the Grasslands Great Again.

4. Bees

matriarchy, male drones, hive, honey

"Aaaaaaagh! Aaaaaagh! Aaaaaagh!" — Nicholas Cage.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Bees famously take the matriarchy to the extreme. A single queen bee oversees thousands of smaller female workers and male drones.

While most bees live, at most, a few weeks, the queen typically survives several years before the hive goes looking for a new queen to start the cycle over again. All to advance the species-wide goal of refusing to fly out of your car even though all four windows are down.

5. Komodo dragons

komodo dragon, eggs, offspring, evolution

Party out with your tongue out... alone even.

Photo by Mark Dumont/Wikimedia Commons.

Female komodo dragons can lay viable eggs that produce offspring without a male partner, which pretty much explains why komodo dragon Tinder never truly caught on.

6. Praying mantises

copulation, life cycle, insects, hunters

Not as romantic as it looks.

Photo by Oliver Koemmerling/Wikimedia Commons.

Mantis males are often smaller than mantis females, a discrepancy that leaves many males feeling insecure, as it enables females to frequently — though not always — eat their heads during sex.

7. Common reed frogs

amphibians, forrest, frogs, reproduction

So many choices for the day ahead.

Photo by ChriKo/Wikimedia Commons.

These tiny, resilient amphibians can change sex from female to male, allowing them to successfully reproduce if they suddenly find themselves surrounded by frogs of the same sex.

This ability makes them one of the most successful species on Earth at inspiring anxious Sam Neil monologues.

8. South American marmosets

monkeys, jungle, troops, community

"Hey, pa? You ... you wanna ... play catch?"

Photo by Maxim Bilovitskiy/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/en:Creative_Commons.

Female marmosets tend not to be terribly interested in their babies. A few weeks after giving birth, they're mostly out of their kids' lives forever.

Marmoset dads, on the other hand, are excellent caretakers, feeding, grooming, and transporting their young as well as coaching Marmoset Little League and always batting their kid cleanup.

9. Spotted hyenas

aggression, dominance, African plains, arid climates

Someone has to lead this party.

Photo via Pixabay.

Not only are female hyenas stronger and more aggressive than males, male and female hyena genitals are nearly identical in appearance. They're so similar that it's extremely difficult to tell the difference with the naked eye, which ultimately doomed the '70s game show "What Sex is That Hyena?" to cancellation after just half a season.

10. Seahorses

eggs, mating process, sea life, oceans

"OK, so. I need a really big favor."

Photo by Mikhail Preobrazhenskiy on Unsplash

While males of numerous species nurture their offspring, the male seahorse takes things several steps further. During the mating process, he receives eggs from the female and not only fertilizes them, but carries the offspring until they hatch.

A recent poll of male seahorses found that an overwhelming majority experience a secret surge of satisfaction when their partners get kidney stones.

11. Cuttlefish

coloration, species rivalries, genetics, fish

Blumph.

Photo by Michal B. on Unsplash

Unlike middle school boys across America, male cuttlefish don't have a lot of hang-ups about appearing feminine to their peers. Masters of camouflage, these future delicious fried antipasto will often alter their coloration in order to pass for female around rival males.

If an actual female is around, they'll leave the other half of their body as is, appearing half male and half female.

12. Topi antelopes

Africa, herd animals, promiscuity, food

Oh hey.

Photo by Whit Welles/Wikimedia Commons.

Female topi antelopes are not only sexually promiscuous, but when it's time to mate, they almost always make the first move. In some cases, female topis pester male antelopes for sex so relentlessly that the male has to physically fight them off. (Cue dozens of Facebook commenters yelling at male antelopes for complaining about something that's "obviously awesome" and insisting they're lucky and should "just be grateful for the attention.")

13. Laysan albatrosses

birds, mating, wildlife

"Al." "Al."

Photo by Patte David/U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service/Public Domain Images.

Some female albatrosses mate in female-female pairs, often for life.

(Side note: All male albatrosses are named Al Batross. Every single one of them. That's a proven fact).

14. Banana slugs

slugs, sex organs, horror

"When I think about you..."

Image via Pixabay.

A hermaphroditic species, banana slugs have both male and female sex organs and occasionally mate with themselves.

Though banana slugs do seem to prefer mating with other slugs, doing so typically ends with one slug chewing the other's penis off, because nature is a cavalcade of endless, random horror.

15. Orcas

whales, pods, matriarchal, peers

"You have to hit the home button twice, grandma."

Photo by Mike Doherty on Unsplash

Killer whales live in matriarchal pods, and female whales are more likely to take charge of the group than their male peers.

The oldest female whales are often the go-to source for information about where to find food, and in exchange for keeping the whole family alive, the younger whales patiently show them time and again how to use the iPad.

16. Emperor penguins

documentaries, Antartica, frozen tundra, trekking

"Where is that voice coming from?"

Photo via Pixabay.

Anyone who's seen "March of the Penguins" knows that male emperor penguins guard their eggs tightly, perilously balancing them on their feet while their female companions go off to do traditional woman stuff like trekking across the Antarctic tundra, diving for food in the freezing cold ocean, and pleading with Morgan Freeman to shut the hell up so they can focus on not being eaten by seals for like five goddamn seconds.

17. Bonobos

genetics, sex, apes, animal kingdom

"Mmmmmm. Yeah. Mmmmm. All right. Yeah." — Bonobos, all the time.

Photo by Sean Foster on Unsplash

The female-led bonobos have invented perhaps the most ingenious way of preventing intra-species violence in the entire animal kingdom. Basically, everyone just has sex with everyone else — males with females, females with females, males with males, in pretty much every kind of way imaginable.

The near-constant hetero-homo-orgiastic delight that results pretty much prevents anyone from being mad at anyone ever and unites the species around the common goal of being the best apes ever invented.

We share about 99% of our DNA with bonobos.

Education

Mom shares how her first grader's homework on the second day of school broke his spirit

"It's breaking their spirit and it robs them of what little fun and family time they have when they come home after a long day of school."

Photo credit: Cassi Nelson/Facebook

How much homework is too much homework?

Debates about homework are nothing new, but the ability of parents to find support for homework woes from thousands of other parents is a fairly recent phenomenon.

A mom named Cassi Nelson shared a post about her first grader's homework and it quickly went viral. Nelson shared that her son had come home from his second day of school with four pages of homework, which she showed him tearfully working on at their kitchen counter.


"He already doesn’t get home from school until 4pm," she wrote. "Then he had to sit still for another hour plus to complete more work. I had to clear out the kitchen so he could focus. His little legs kept bouncing up and down, he was bursting with so much energy just wanting to go play. Then he broke my heart when he looked up at me with his big teary doe eyes and asked…. 'Mommy when you were little did you get distracted a lot too?!' Yes sweet baby, mommy sure did too! I don’t know how ppl expect little children to sit at school all day long and then ALSO come home to sit and do MORE work too…."

Nelson tells Upworthy that she was "shocked" that kindergarteners and first graders have homework, much less the amount they were expected to do. "We didn't have homework like this when we were in these younger grades."

Expert opinion and research is somewhat mixed on the homework front, but there isn't any conclusive evidence that homework is universally beneficial for students and too much homework can actually be harmful. As a standard, the National Education Association (NEA) and the National Parent Teacher Association (NPTA) support a limit on homework of “10 minutes of homework per grade level."

With that as a guide, a first grader shouldn't have more than 10 minutes of homework on any given school day, but it's not unusual for young kids to have two or three times the recommended limit of homework. That can be stressful for both kids and parents, cutting into valuable family time and limiting kids' time to decompress, play and freely engage in imaginative activity.

As Nelson concluded, "It’s breaking their spirit and it robs them of what little fun and family time they have when they come home after a long day of school."

Most parents and even most teachers in the comments agreed with her that four pages of homework is too much for a first grader, especially on only the second day of school:

"Poor little man. Children below a certain grade should not be given homework! Small children have a hard time sitting still for a long period of time yet alone expected to sit and do hours of homework, for what??? They are SMALL CHILDREN! Let them snack, play, laugh and all the other fun things when they get home. You are only a child once, they don't need that taken away from them. Let them embrace their inner creativity, imagination, recipes, etc."

"This breaks my spirit. Our schools are huge scams. You're exactly right Cassi. Homework is ridiculous. Kids til the age of 10 primarily learn through real life situations and play scenarios."

"I hate that for him! My little one has ADHD and doing homework after sitting in class all day is very stressful to him and makes him hate school. They are in school for 7 hours they shouldn’t have homework. That definitely takes away any kind of family time and that’s why kids never spend time with parents anymore because they have all this homework to do after being gone all day.I feel that if it can’t be done in the 7 hours they have the kids then it should wait until the next school day."

"I don’t make them do homework at home when they are that little. It’s not fair!They are at school allllll day! And it’s already sooooo much for their little bodies and brains! I’ve never had a teacher upset about it either.. and even if I did oh well!"

"That breaks my heart. 4 pages is absolutely ridiculous for young kids. My daughter is going into 2nd grade next month, the 2 years in school it was always 1 page of homework sometimes back and front if it was math. And to read."

"I was in this boat with my son…conversation with the principal and teachers helped dramatically!! It’s too much and we have to advocate for them."

Nelson was blown away by the response to her post, which has been shared on Facebook over 89,000 times. "I NEVER thought me sharing my thoughts openly about how my heart hurt watching my little guy struggle would connect to so many others worldwide going through the same thing," she says.

Many parents shared that excessive homework is one of the reasons they decided to homeschool their children, which Nelson took to heart. The week after sharing her viral homework post, she shared that they had had their first day of homeschooling. It was "A HUGE SUCCESS!!!!" she wrote, with her son getting far more work done in a far shorter amount of time, sitting for classes for just 1 hour and 45 minutes total.

Nelson tells Upworthy she was totally intimidated to try homeschooling. "I seriously thought there was no way," she says. "But I knew I had to set my fear aside and just take the leap for my kids. I told myself I'd figure it out one way or another. And here we are three days in and it's been the easiest and best choice I've ever made."

Homeschooling is not going to the right solution for every family, however, so the question of homework remains an important issue for kids, parents, teachers and schools to work out.

A single dad reaching out for help got a huge amount of support.

Even in this amazing girl-dad era, certain aspects of girlhood can still be quite challenging for fathers to know how to best show up for their daughters. And certainly, first periods are one of them.

This can be especially true for single dads. Even the guy who grew up with sisters likely wouldn’t know the ins and outs of different menstrual products available today, and that’s not even getting into the emotional roller coaster often involved.

One single dad hoped to find answers on Reddit after his soon-to-be 13-year-old daughter had her first cycle. And thankfully, he got what he needed—and then some.


“I'm a single dad and my daughter (soon to be 13) has just started her first period. Luckily, she was at a friend's house and managed to get hold of a few pads but we don't really have anything at home,” the dad explained.

He continued, “What do I need to be doing? Pads, tampons or cups? Different things for different situations? Should I just buy different products in different levels of absorbency and let her figure out what's comfortable? Should I have a specific pain relief on hand or just hot water bottles?”



First off, kudos to this dad for already being thorough. Asking about product specifics? Thinking about pain relief? A+

And people were equally thorough in their answers. One person suggested dedicating a section of the bathroom to a discrete “period care stash” which would include:

  • Pads (medium + heavy OR medium + night-time).
  • Baby wipes (fragrance free. NOT makeup wipes).
  • Ibuprofen or similar
  • Hot water bottle
  • Bonus items:
    • Favorite chocolate
    • New pack of basic underwear

period products for teensEnough can't be said about having a discreet period stash. Photo credit: Canva

They also suggested getting a fabric drawstring bag so that some of these items could go into the girl’s school bag, as well as incorporating a cycle tracking app like Clue or using some other kind of “top-up system” to know when these items would need replenishing.

“This will probably depend a lot on how independent she is and whether the topic feels awkward to her (which is natural even though there's nothing to be embarrassed about). She might want you to just pick up a new packet of pads as part of your grocery shop once a month. She might want you to leave the shopping list where she can see it so she can just write on it what she wants. She might prefer you give her a little extra money so she can pick up products for herself. Use your best judgment or ask her,” they said.

This person did add the disclaimer that “no matter how regular her cycles may be they still take us by surprise sometimes.” So it’s a good idea to have good laundry detergent on hand and that she also knows how to do her own laundry if she needed.

This person made it very clear to the dad to be mindful to not instill any shame around menstruation, and to have “a bit of grace if she's a bit snappy, or if she's more lethargic or spending longer in the bathroom. She won't want you to draw her attention to this.”

Other honorable mentions include getting period underwear like Thinx and Knix, rinsing and stained items in cold water before washing, asking a female she’s comfortable with to teach her about tampons, having a basic understanding of PMDD, endometriosis, PCOS etc., and to make sure the bathroom trash can has a lid, especially if the house has dogs.

But beyond helpful advice, this dad got a lot of positive encouragement.

“You are a really cool dad to be so calm and collected, and caring. You are a hero,” one person wrote.

“You are pure gold, coming from a single father of an eleven year old daughter. Thank you” wrote another.

This chapter might not be quite as simple to navigate as previous ones, but simply having the intention to be well informed is already putting this dad on the path towards success. Kudos to him, and all the other dads who strive to support their daughters every step of the way.

TikTok about '80s childhood is a total Gen X flashback.

As a Gen X parent, it's weird to try to describe my childhood to my kids. We're the generation that didn't grow up with the internet or cell phones, yet are raising kids who have never known a world without them. That difference alone is enough to make our 1980s childhoods feel like a completely different planet, but there are other differences too that often get overlooked.

How do you explain the transition from the brown and orange aesthetic of the '70s to the dusty rose and forest green carpeting of the '80s if you didn't experience it? When I tell my kids there were smoking sections in restaurants and airplanes and ashtrays everywhere, they look horrified (and rightfully so—what were we thinking?!). The fact that we went places with our friends with no quick way to get ahold of our parents? Unbelievable.



One day I described the process of listening to the radio, waiting for my favorite song to come on so I could record it on my tape recorder, and how mad I would get when the deejay talked through the intro of the song until the lyrics started. My Spotify-spoiled kids didn't even understand half of the words I said.

And '80s hair? With the feathered bangs and the terrible perms and the crunchy hair spray? What, why and how?

In some ways, that era was simpler. We weren't bombarded with information and opinions about every issue in the world 24/7 and had the freedom to just be kids. At the same time, I personally have no desire to go back. (My straight, fine hair was not made for the '80s.)

However, one dad is bringing full-on nostalgia to millions of Gen Xers with a viral TikTok he made about sharing his '80s childhood with his 8-year-old son. Justin H (who goes by @shadyraro on TikTok) included photos and descriptions of things all '80s kids will recognize and it's like hopping into a time machine.

Like, the unwound cassette tape struggle was genuinely real. Grab a pencil, start winding and pray. "The A-Team"? Totally. Streetlight curfew? Yep.

@shadyraro

The 80’s was the best decade #80s #80skid #oldschool #genx #parents #funny #family #foryou #fyp

The video has been viewed more than 10 million times this week, with commenters neck-deep in their feelings about their childhood flashbacks.

"I miss them days, technology has taken away so much," wrote one commenter.

"Miss the 80s era but unfortunately us kids were the remote control," wrote another. (So true. Changing the channel was exercise.)

"The 80's cannot be explained...it was an experience...a complete vibe all its own...and if you missed it I'm so sorry for you!" wrote another.

And if you feel like there were some things missing, no worries. There's a Part Two:

@shadyraro

The 80’s was the best decade Part 2 #80s #80skid #oldschool #genx #parents #funny #family #foryou #fyp

The ashtray in the back of the car seat! The phone booth! The Walkman! The overhead projector. So my childhood. I can practically taste the Tang and Twinkies.

Kids today will never know the ugly beauty of growing up in the '80s, but someday they'll have their own tales to tell their kids that they'll look on with fondness and nostalgia. "We used to spend hours building things with little digital blocks in Minecraft…"

There's never been anything like the '80s and there never will be again. Thanks for the trip down memory lane, Justin H.


This article originally appeared on 05.21.22

Liam Gallagher and his dog, Buttons.

Last year, a dog named Buttons was abandoned in the jungle of Thailand by her former owners because she was “not cute enough.”The Happy Doggo sanctuary, run by Niall Harbison, took in the scared dog and placed her up for adoption. Harbison and Happy Doggo feed over 800 dogs daily on Koh Samui, an island in Thailand.

Harbison received an adoption application from a Liam Gallagher in England, but he thought it must have been a joke. “The name on the form was Liam Gallagher, but I thought that’s obviously not him,” he wrote on X. “Then, the next line was occupation, and it was ‘singer.’ I thought my mates were taking the piss. But I checked it out a bit more and his details all stacked up.”

"I follow this geezer, this Irish lad, who rescues [dogs] and they've been all battered and beaten up and that. So we fell in love with Buttons,” Gallagher said on “The Jonathan Ross Show.”

Gallagher, the former lead singer of Oasis, is one of the biggest rock singers of the past 30 years and is known for being a rugged, outspoken character unafraid of courting controversy. But he also has a great sense of humor, making him a national treasure in the UK.

So, maybe it’s not surprising that he fell head over heels for a rescue dog from the other side of the world.

@.oasis3

This is so cute #foryoupage #knebworth1996 #liamgallagher #jonathanrossshow #dog #oasis

Three months after being taken in by the shelter, Buttons was shipped 6,000 miles to his new home in the UK. The “Live Forever” singer loves spending so much time with his new dog that it’s made him rethink his career plans. “I don’t want to go on tour no more,” he said in March. “I want to stay home now.”

But Gallagher went back on tour for the 30th anniversary of Oasis’s “Definitely Maybe” album, and at one show, he dedicated “Half the World Away” to the dog. The song surprised the audience because it was originally sung by his brother, Noel. “I want to dedicate this next song to me dog, Buttons, who we got from Thailand. It’s called ‘Half the World Away.’”



One of the central props on Gallagher’s Definitely Maybe Tour was a large blue globe that hovered over the center of the stage. After the show, Gallagher auctioned the globe, with the proceeds going to the Happy Doggo sanctuary in Thailand.

“The globe was auctioned and Co-op were kind enough to take it,” Harbison wrote on X. “It will be a feature in the new Co-op Live venue in Manchester, where visitors can see it before all events. The fact it is a globe and Buttons came from ‘half the world away’ is perfect.”

Co-op Live, an indoor arena in Manchester, Gallagher’s birthplace, donated £25,000 ($33,000) to purchase the globe, which will help Harbison expand his shelter “on the same piece of jungle where little Buttons used to sneak in,” he said.

The story is a beautiful example of dogs' effect on people, even those half the world away.

“Never underestimate the impact dogs can have on us all,” Harbison wrote on X. “Over a year ago little Buttons walked in hoping for a better life. She’s done that and then some. Not everything is bad in the world. Love always wins.”

Click here to donate to Happy Doggo.

Pop Culture

‘I deserve to be hated’: Ronda Rousey finally apologizes for Sandy Hook conspiracy video

It took 11 years, but she has some harsh truths for people who spread conspiracies.

The Sandy Hook memorial and WWE star Ronda Rousey.

UFC Hall of Famer, former WWE star and actress Ronda Rousey had a Reddit AMA (Ask Me Anything) session on Tuesday, August 20, to promote the Kickstarter page for her first graphic novel. But things didn’t go as she planned.

The post was flooded with Redditors asking her about the 2012 mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, that left 26 people dead, including 20 young students. A month after the tragedy, Rousey posted a link to a YouTube conspiracy video about the shooting that she called “extremely interesting” and “must-watch.”

She deleted the post but didn’t exactly back down from the decision.




The top comments on the Reddit AMA were all about the shooting. “Over a decade ago, you tweeted, ‘I never meant to insult or hurt anyone, sorry if anyone was offended. It was not my intention in the least.’ after sharing a video that you called ‘must-watch’ and ‘interesting’ that had claimed the Sandy Hook School Massacre was part of a government conspiracy,” the top commenter wrote. “Considering 20 children were slaughtered and one was shot as many as 11 times, is it fair to say that you owe a much better public apology than the one you issued?”

Three days after the AMA and 11 years after posting the controversial video, Rousey posted a heartfelt apology on Twitter.

“I can't say how many times I've redrafted this apology over the last 11 years. How many times I've convinced myself it wasn't the right time or that I'd be causing even more damage by giving it. But eleven years ago I made the single most regrettable decision of my life,” she wrote.

“I drafted a thousandth apology to include in my last memoir, but my publisher begged me to take it out, saying it would overshadow everything else and do more harm than good. So I convinced myself that apologizing would just reopen the wound for no other reason than me selfishly trying to make myself feel better, that I would hurt those suffering even more and possibly lead more people down the black hole of conspiracy bullshit by it being brought up again just so I could try to shake the label of being a ‘Sandy Hook truther,’” she wrote.

Rousey sided with those who have criticized her and said she deserved to lose opportunities because of her actions. “But honestly I deserve to be hated, labeled,detested, resented and worse for it. I deserve to lose out on every opportunity, I should have been canceled, I would have deserved it. I still do,” she continued.

Rousey then addressed those who were personally affected by the shooting.

“I can't even begin to imagine the pain you've endured and words cannot describe how thoroughly remorseful and ashamed I am of myself for contributing to it. I've regretted it every day of my life since and will continue to do so until the day I die,” Rousey wrote.

She ended the apology by addressing those who continue to embrace conspiracy theories, warning them to avoid falling into the same trap that she did.

“And to anyone else that's fallen down the black hole of bulls**t. It doesn't make you edgy, or an independent thinker, you're not doing your due diligence entertaining every possibility by digesting these conspiracies,” Rousey wrote. “They will only make you feel powerless, afraid, miserable and isolated. You're doing nothing but hurting others and yourself. Regardless of how many bridges you've burned over it, stop digging yourself a deeper hole, don't get wrapped up in the sunk cost fallacy, no matter how long you've gone down the wrong road, you should still turn back.”



It’s impossible to know what’s inside another person’s heart. But Rousey’s apology did a commendable job of atoning for her mistakes and attempting to prevent others from doing the same.

Ultimately, it’s not up to the general public to decide whether Rousey’s apology was adequate to make up for her actions. It’s up to those who were personally affected by the tragedy, who had to endure countless attacks by conspiracy theorists such as Alex Jones. One can hope that the apology provided solace to those who’ve suffered an unimaginable loss and can help prevent others from inflicting the same pain.