15 things to do when the world feels terrifying.

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Small things you can do every day to make your world feel a little bit less hopeless.

Laquan MacDonald was 17 when he was murdered by a Chicago police officer. I watched a video of his death made public, along with most of America, between reading about how Americans are terrified to let refugees from war-torn Syria into our country, and reading about how a man with a rifle opened fire at a Planned Parenthood in Colorado.

I couldn't think of anything else to say that hadn't already been said about how horrible and sad and awful and bleak and unfathomable all those things are.

So instead, here are 15 things you can do every day to make your world just the tiniest bit better.

1. Open your closet.

Find one warm piece of clothing you haven't worn in awhile. Bring it to a place that will give it away, for free, to someone who needs it.

2. Go to a public park or playground. Sit on a bench.

Watch some kids running around playing. Don't get up and try to engage with them, don't depress yourself further, don't go down a sadhole if you want kids but don't have them, or if your own relationship with your kids or parents isn't perfect. Just … sit and watch. Turn your brain off for a bit.

Photo via iStock.

If your brain has to work, picture the way that a kid's body works: the air filling the lungs and expelling laughter, the tiny heartbeat pulsing and racing, the immense number of neurons firing to process the information that keeps their eyes blinking and ears listening and skin tingling and lungs expanding and contracting.

If you see a parent looking stressed out, give them an encouraging smile, as if to say, "You're doing a great job."

3. Think of a song you love, preferably by a non-super-famous musician.

Even if you already own it, download it again. Think about how your 99 cents is actually telling the musician that their work has value.

4. Buy an e-gift card.

There are several Dunkin' Donuts in the general area of Sullivan House High School, the alternative school in Chicago's South Side where Laquan MacDonald was enrolled. It's probably been a tough time for the teachers and the students both. Buy an e-gift card, and send the link to the faculty. Tell them a stranger bought them coffee.

5. Google a small business florist near the site of any recent tragedy.

Call and explain that you'd like to pay for flowers to be sent to, say, the staff of the Planned Parenthood in Colorado Springs (3480 Centennial Boulevard, Colorado Springs, CO 80907) or to Hope Church (5740 Academy Blvd N, Colorado Springs, CO 80918), where slain police officer Garrett Swasey and his family were members.

Folk expressed their emotions following the Boston bombing by mailing thousands of flower bouquets to the city and bringing them to the sites of the explosions. Photo by Don Emmert/AFP/Getty Images

When you leave a note, don't make it about you, or your political or religious beliefs. Leave it anonymous or simply say, "From a stranger who thought you might be sad today."

6. Leave a copy of your favorite book in a public place.

Trust that the right person will find it.

7. Locate your nearest animal shelter.

You don't need to adopt a pet, and you don't need go in and volunteer, although that's a really nice thing you can do too. You can just look at the puppies and kittens playing for awhile or feel what it's like to hold a tiny, furry, purring creature in your arms for a bit.

9. Think of the kindest person you know personally.

Write them an email, letting them know that you thought of them and hope they are doing well.

Photo via iStock.

8. Here's a link to Amazon, where you can buy a 10-pack of socks for $9.99.

Click the link. When you're asked for your shipping address, find the address of a homeless shelter in your community. If you don't have a homeless shelter in your community, here's mine.

10. Buy an extra box of tampons the next time you're out shopping.

Leave them in the ladies' room of your workplace for anyone to take. (If you're a dude and this weirds you out, talk to this 15-year-old kid about it).

11. Think about the people that you frequently interact with in your daily life but know very little about.

Maybe it's the barista who works at your coffee shop, the janitor in your building, or your mail person. Introduce yourself. Call them by name whenever you see them again.

12. Go to a diner.

Order a milkshake. Tip 10 dollars.

Photo via iStock.

13. Buy a pile of index cards and a sharpie.

Write down, "You are Important" or "Breathe." Carry them with you as you go about your day, leaving them in waiting room magazines, on car windshields, in elevators, in bathroom stalls. Keep one for yourself. We all need the reminder sometimes too.

14. Dig up an embarrassing photo of yourself from your teenage years.

Post it online. Laugh gently at the person you were, and celebrate the human you are now. If you're still in the process of living through your teenage years, take lots of pictures. You're doing great.

15. Think. Think about the fact that the world can sometimes feel like a flaming cesspool of garbage.

Think about everyone in your zip code who is homeless and hungry, cold, terrified, and lonely. Think about global warming, handguns and assault rifles, violence on television, rape statistics, domestic abuse. Think about terrorism, both domestic and abroad. Think about petty cruelty. Think about your childhood schoolyard bully. Think about the times that you won the argument but lost the friendship.

Think about all the times you got too busy and didn't visit your relatives like you said you would or didn't give the dollar in the checkout line because times are rough and who even knows what the March of Dimes is. Think about how you don't want to think about who grows your food or makes your clothes or pieces your iPhone together, because in the world we inhabit, it's virtually impossible to exist without making some kind of ethical compromises.

Think about the 7 billion other people people out there in the world. Think about the average 318,000 births today or the 133,000 deaths.

Think about how enormously complicated all of this is.

Think about how Mother Teresa accepted funds from corrupt embezzlers, how George Bush is an oil painter, a husband, a father, and a war criminal. Think about Princess Diana's life's work of charity and goodwill; remember also that she was depressed, lived through bulimia, and self-harmed. Name five celebrities, and then imagine them in the morning, with horse breath and red-rimmed eyes, stumbling to splash water on their face, just like you and me.

And remember, amidst all this, there are tons of incredibly easy, tiny ways to make the world a slightly less shitty place for everyone.

Take a deep breath of gratitude for the people out there who actually do make the world a better place. Challenge yourself to be that person, in whatever small way you can manage right now.

Photo via iStock.

Close your browser window. Shut down your laptop. Silence your cell phone. Just for a minute, before you go back to Netflix, before you text someone, before you answer more emails or meet friends for drinks or order a pizza or whatever it is that you're doing today: Just for a second, take a moment to remember that the world can be pretty magical sometimes, and you're really lucky to be alive in it.

Do what you can.

Humor

Gen X mom reenacts 'coming home from school in the 80s' and it couldn't be more perfect

"This is why we turned out self sufficient, independent and successful."

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If you lived through an 80s childhood, this will send you back.

Generation X, made up of those born between 1965 and 1980, has many claims-to-fame in their younger years game. Gen X brought the world Prince and Kurt Cobain. We were The Goonies and The Breakfast Club. We took down the Berlin Wall while watching MTV.

But perhaps the most iconic thing about Gen X is our semi-feral childhoods of benign neglect. The standards of parenting and child rearing have shifted a lot in the past 40 to 50 years, as has the technological landscape that kids grow up in, so naturally, today's kids won't have the same childhoods previous generations had. But there's something particularly nostalgic about being a child of the 80s for those who lived it.

— (@)

One mom nailed the experience with a video reenactment of what it was like to come home from school in the 80s.

Elizabeth Stevens (@BennettPeach on YouTube) arrives at the front door in her backpack, then pulls out a house key on a string around her neck. (Ah, the "latchkey kid" era when children were expected to come home to an empty house and let themselves in.)

Then she goes into the kitchen in her Care Bears t-shirt and finds a handwritten note—in cursive, of course—on the back of an envelope. "Working late—make your own dinner, watch your brother and the dishes better be done when I get home from bowling. – Mom"

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That's right. Mom wasn't just working late, she was also going bowling while her kids were home caring for themselves.

Then we see her washing the dishes despite barely being able to reach the faucet, even with a stool, and then her making a Gen X staple—the cinnamon-sugar and butter sandwich. On white bread, of course.

In just one minute, Stevens managed to capture the essence of so many Gen X memories, as commenters shared:

"The mom notes on an unopened bill is memories."

"Nailed it! The best thing about growing up in the '70s/'80's was being ALLOWED to grow up."

"Why this video made me almost cry?? How quiet it is inside the home. Lovely."

80s childhood, 80s, 80s nostalgia, gen x, latchkey kids, gen x nostalgia, generational differences, generational humor Wash the dishes before I get home from bowling! Photo by CDC on Unsplash

"Facts!!! No babysitter, go in the house, read the note, do the chores n not let anybody in!!!! I remember the homemade the 'cinnamon bun.'"

"70s and 80s … latch key kid here elementary, junior high and high school. we turned out self sufficient, independent and successful."

"Just so frickin on point!!! All of it from the clothes to the key on the necklace to the note. Even what you chose to do for a snack. Too good!!! The windbreaker that's memories. It's all coming back to me now lol thank you for this. You have brought a huge grin to both me and my inner child."

80s childhood, 80s, 80s nostalgia, gen x, latchkey kids, gen x nostalgia, generational differences, generational humor music video 80s GIF Giphy

"I was met with a note everyday, too. On the back of an envelope, my daily chores would be listed. If I was in trouble, I would cry as soon as I saw the note....lolol Love you momma. How I wished I could have saved those notes! They were historical treasures."

Tons of people gushed over the nostalgia of remembering those "good old days" when they were given both freedom and responsibility, with many saying kids today have no idea. One thing that might surprise the younger generations was how young the theoretical kid in this video could have been. We're not talking about young teens here—kids as young as 5 or 6 could be latchkey kids, and kids any older than that were often given responsibility for looking after younger siblings. Even official babysitting jobs could start around age 11, or sometimes even younger.

— (@)

Gen X kids had learned to take care of themselves early on, which has its pros and cons. The rose-colored glasses many Gen X adults view their childhoods through can sometimes cloud the parts that were not so great about growing up in the 70s and 80s. Sure, that benign neglect resulted in resilience and independence, but for some that came at the cost of parental relationships and a sense of safety and security. We have more knowledge now about things like mental health support, parent-child attachment, and healthy relationship dynamics, and some of that learning is reflected in shifting parenting practices.

As often happens, the pendulum may have swung too far from the absent parents of the 70s and 80s to the helicopter parents of the 90s and 2000s, of course, and the "right" approach (if there is one) probably lies somewhere in the middle. But it is still fun to look back on those iconic childhood experiences with joy and humor and appreciate that they helped us become who we are today.

This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.

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Community

11 helpful services your Costco membership offers that you might be missing out on

From insurance to check books, Costco has so many perks.

Images via Canva/pixelfit, Leung Cho Pan

All the extra benefits and services you get with a Costco membership.

Costco is all about offering its members deals. The mega store offers two different memberships—Gold Star (which costs $65 per year) and Executive (which costs $130 per year).

"Members can stretch their savings even further with an Executive Membership," Kristen Markel, founder of Warehouse Wanderer, a blog dedicated to Costco shopping strategies, tells Upworthy. "That tier earns 2% back on nearly all purchases—including travel and car rentals—so you’re essentially stacking an additional rebate on top of Costco’s already discounted rates."

To help save extra money, Costco members shared on Reddit their favorite lesser-known perks that they get out of their membership. Here are 11 Costco services you may be missing out on:

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Car rentals

"When I need a car rental my first stop to check prices is always Costco Travel," Melissa Cid, consumer savings expert for MySavings.com, tells Upworthy. "Costco Travel consistently has some of the lowest rates on car rentals! Members get a free additional driver included, which normally adds $10 to $15 per day. That perk alone can save you more than the cost of your annual membership on a single trip."

Travel (hotels, cruises, vacation packages)

If you're looking to take a vacation in the future, check out Costco Travel for additional deals on hotels, cruises, and vacation packages.

"We used Costco Travel to book our Costa Rica vacation this Summer. I get overwhelmed planning those sometimes. They made it easy to do, and they gave us a $200 gift card when we returned!" one member shared.

Pet insurance

If you have a furry friend at home, look into pet insurance options.

"This perk can save pet owners hundreds of dollars a year on unexpected vet bills, while also giving them round-the-clock peace of mind," Tom Bean, VP of insurance services operations at Figo Pet Insurance, tells Upworthy.

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Auto and home insurance

Insuring your car and home are additional perks that Costco provides its members, who may also be eligible to receive additional discounts and benefits, such a roadside assistance, home glass repair reimbursement, and more.

Prescriptions

"Costco’s pharmacy has very low prices on generic prescriptions, sometimes even cheaper than insurance copays, and the same applies to many pet medications," says Cid. "Even over-the-counter medicine cabinet staples like allergy pills are dramatically cheaper than at drugstores. I buy a bottle of Kirkland allergy medicine at Costco for 75% cheaper than generics at my grocery and drugstores."

Discounted gift cards

"Costco members can score $100 in gift cards for about $80, and the selection includes not only restaurants and Uber Eats but I've even bought discounted Disney gift cards before!" says Cid. "If you want an easy way to save 10-25% off at a store, restaurant or entertainment then definitely checkout the current Costco gift card offerings. The physical gift cards offered in-store are great for presents around the holidays. When shopping online, the e-gift cards are quick to order for yourself for immediate use!"

@aiyannace
I love a good Costco run🙂‍↔️ #costco #membership #security #samples

Checks

If you frequently write checks, you can order them through Costco rather than your bank.

"I've ordered check books for my mom. Like 75% savings vs ordering them through my bank," one member shared.

Home improvement

Need to get some repairs done on your home? Costco offers home improvement services.

"I got a heat pump system installed by a vendor and got a great price," one member shared. "I could run it through the executive card and get cash back. About 2 years later the compressor went out. It was from a bad install and the hvac company wanted to charge me a thousands to replace it. I escalated through the ranks of the hvac company to no avail. One call to Costco corporate to complain was all it took- the hvac company apologized and replaced it for free. I appreciated having the heft of Costco behind me to make them do the right thing."

Another added, "Replaced our garage doors through a preferred vendor. It was literally the exact same door we had quoted from another company, but cost was 25% lower not to mention all the rewards on top."

And another member shared, "I purchased a garage door and opener through them. Worked out well and got a 15% shop card."

Auto purchases and repairs

You can buy a brand new or used car through Costco's Auto Program, which also offers discounts on parts and repairs, including tires.

"I bought my car via Costco," one member explained. "Went into the dealership knowing what I wanted to pay and they basically offered exactly that. I showed up with my own financing and the entire process was super easy. Would absolutely do it again."

Hearing aids

Costco also has a Hearing Aid Center, where members can have their hearing tested and purchase hearing aids.

"Friend of mine was just telling me about his experience with them with their hearing aids - super great experience and cheaper too," one member wrote.

Vision testing, glasses, and contacts

Another perk Costco offers is Costco Optical, where members can have their vision tested and purchase glasses, sunglasses, and contact lenses.

"Just got TWO pairs of glasses w progressive lenses — one progressive lenses w all the coatings and one progressive polarized sunglasses (the exact tint I wanted) — in name brand frames for under $450!!!" one member shared.

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Research reveals two kinds of high school popularity, which lead to opposite outcomes

Being one of the cool kids isn't a predictor of future success.

Photo credit: Canva

Does being popular really matter?

Even decades into adulthood, most of us still remember who the popular kids were in high school, at least by face if not by name. Something about adolescent social interactions really sticks with us, and popularity (or lack thereof) is one thing that stands out in a typical high school experience. However, our memories of the popular kids last a lot longer than their actual popularity does, especially if those kids were a particular kind of popular.

Mitch Prinstein, PhD, a clinical child and adolescent psychologist, professor of psychology and neuroscience, and the director of clinical psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, explains that there are two kinds of popularity in his book, Popular: Finding Happiness and Success in a World That Cares Too Much About the Wrong Kinds of Relationships. According to his research, one type of popularity is a predictor of a long and fulfilling life, while the other is the opposite.

popularity, popular kids, cool kids, high school, likeability There's a difference between likeable popularity and status popularity.Photo credit: Canva

"Those who are popular can be two different groups," Prinstein shared with the Speaking of Psychology podcast. "You have some who are popular when they were young, and they would be the kind that we would call 'likable.' However, a different kind of popularity emerges in adolescents, which we refer to as 'status.' And those are very different types of popularity. Likeability is good, status is pretty bad."

"Likeable" popularity is found in people who have genuinely likeable traits. These traits make people want to spend time with them and trust them because they make people feel valued and included. "Status" popularity is found in people who are influential and powerful, but not necessarily well-liked. We can probably all name people from our high school days who fit each of those categories of popular, and perhaps some who overlap both. (The class president who also happens to be a really kind and caring person, for instance.)

Prinstein's analysis of the research indicates that people who are likeable popular are more likely to end up in a happy marriage with well-adjusted kids and a successful career, whereas high status popularity correlates to long-term problems with depression, anxiety, substance use, and relationship problems. In other words, the "cool" kids who dominate the social landscape with power and influence in high school often don't fare as well as the kids who are popular because people truly like them.

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Those disparate outcomes may not come as a surprise, all things considered, but Prinstein says we're living at a time when status popularity matters farther into adulthood than it did before. Like the brains of other mammals, the adolescent human brain is predisposed to look toward status because, on an instinctual level, it can mean access to more resources or mating partners. We're biologically wired to desire status popularity when we're young.

"It used to be that we would stop caring about that kind of popularity when we graduated from high school," Prinstein told Speaking of Psychology. "That's not the way the world works anymore though…things have dramatically changed in the last 20 or 30 years in ways that now make us care about status more than we ever have before."

Prinstein shared that it seemed to start with 24-hour cable news shows, then spread to reality TV and social media. In the past, we didn't have ubiquitous access to the lives of celebrities, virality wasn't a thing, and there weren't "likes" at the click of a button to feed the idea of status popularity being important.

popularity, popular kids, cool kids, high school, likeability Social media has pushed status popularity last beyond high school.Photo credit: Canva

"I'm so worried about teens today because they've lived in a world where pursuing status with a mouse click or on your phone 24/7, that's become normal," said Prinstein. "And when I worked on the book I was shocked to find how many covers of magazines for both kids and for adults are really promoting the message that we should care about our likes, and our retweets and our followers and even kids are being encouraged to say things on social media that they explicitly don't believe because if it gets them more likes or followers then it's worth it. And if you think about the message that that's sending the kids, that status is more important than actual true connections with others or integrity, that's a really really scary message."

Considering the outcomes, focusing more on likeability than status can help us all live better, more fulfilling lives. How do we do that? One way is to think about what you find likeable in other people and try to develop those qualities in yourself. Become a better listener. Support people by being encouraging and celebrating their wins. Don't brag or complain too much. Be kind and courteous. Ensure that everyone feels welcome and included when you're in a group.

Popularity isn't the ultimate goal, of course, but being likable will help you throughout your life, whereas status is a never-ending ladder that ultimately leads to nowhere. So if you find yourself yearning to be popular, pick the kind of popular you actually value and place your energy and attention there.

You can listen to the entire Speaking of Psychology interview with Dr. Prinstein here.

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Mental Health

'Fear-setting': How a bestselling author conquers anxiety by writing down worst nightmares

To conquer fear, one must define it, entrepreneur Tim Ferriss says.

Credit: George Kao

Tim Ferriss is teaching a masterclass in achieving your goals.

What if I told you the secret to success isn't setting goals—but setting fears?

In a world obsessed with vision boards and goal-setting apps, bestselling author Tim Ferriss is dropping truth bombs that flip conventional wisdom on its head: "Defining your fears is more important than defining your goals."

What?

This simple shift in perspective helped Ferriss change his life—and countless others—to break free from paralysis and take the bold actions he'd been dreaming about for years.

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Welcome to the life-changing practice of fear-setting—a monthly ritual that could be the missing piece in your personal development puzzle.

Why our fears keep us stuck (and how to turn them into fuel)

Picture this: You're lying in bed at 3 a.m., your mind racing about that "risky" career change you've been contemplating for years. The voice in your head whispers all the myriad ways it could go wrong—financial ruin, professional embarrassment, that meme of Marnie from Girls where she says, "Let's make fun of the girl who took a risk and put herself out there creatively." What if that were you?

Here's the funny thing about fear: it's a master manipulator. Fear warps our thinking, causing our brains to exaggerate potential disasters while overlooking the cost of staying stuck. Before long, we become prisoners of our own imagination, suffering more in our minds than we would in real life.

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But what would happen if we could flip the script? Instead of running from our fears, we could cut them open and realize that the monster we've been running from all this time was nothing more than a stack of clothes, piled up on a chair.

Enter Tim Ferriss' fear-setting exercise—a systematic approach to transforming paralyzing anxiety into empowering action.

The 7 questions that changed everything

Tim Ferriss is an all-American multi-hyphenate: he's an entrepreneur, author, podcaster, and one of the most influential figures in today's productivity and lifestyle design space. Wired called him "the Superman of Silicon Valley." His multi-faceted empire includes five #1 New York Times bestsellers, including The 4-Hour Workweek and Tools of Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers. Ferriss also hosts the eponymous The Tim Ferriss Show podcast, the first business/interview podcast to exceed 100 million downloads. (It has now exceeded one billion downloads, by the way.)

In short, this is a person who knows a thing or two about high achievement.

Tim Ferriss revealed that he dedicates up to half an hour each month to confronting his fears head-on through seven critical questions. It's a thorough and rational dissection of what scares him the most.

Question 1: What's your nightmare?

Define your nightmare. What is the absolute worst that could happen if you followed through with what you're considering?

Get specific. Avoid writing broad fears, such as "failure." Remember, this is an activity designed to let your brain go into full disaster mode: use your creativity and imagination.

For example, you want to start painting, even though you know nothing about it and are "too old" to begin a new hobby. But what would happen if you took a class or started going to museums more often? Seriously, what's the worst that could happen?

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People start pointing and staring at you, the most out-of-touch person ever to exist? Your teacher comes to look at your work and starts laughing uncontrollably? Write it all down in painful detail. Then Ferriss advises, rate the permanent impact scale on a scale of 1-10. You'll often discover that your worst-case scenarios aren't life-ruiners—or, not even likely to happen at all.

Then, ask yourself: Would it be the end of your life? Are these things really permanent? How likely would they actually happen?

Question 2: How could you repair the damage?

If the very worst were to happen, how could you rebuild, even temporarily? Could you get your money back from the art institution? Leave a scathing review on Yelp? Go into therapy for your troubles? Often, we discover that the road to recovery is more possible than we imagined.

Question 3: What are the benefits of trying?

Ask yourself, what are the outcomes or benefits, both temporary and permanent, of more likely scenarios?

Fear-setting turns into sunsetting. Let's change it up: even if you don't achieve complete success (ex., your art teacher tears up when reviewing your first painting project and suggests someone should hang it in the Louvre), what could you gain just from putting yourself out there? New skills, confidence, friends, experiences?

Now, rate these benefits on a scale of 1 to 10 as well. Compare these with the numbers you provided in question #1. Are you shelving your dreams, a potential 9 (!), just because of an unrealistic fear that you rated a 3?

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Question 4: What if you were starting over today?

If you were fired from your job today, what would you do to get things under financial control?

Imagine this scenario and run through questions 1-3 above. If you quit your job to test other opportunities, how could you later get back on the same career track if you absolutely had to?

This question isn't fear-mongering (remember, this is fear-setting.) It builds resilience by reminding you of your resourcefulness. Could you freelance? Take a part-time job? Sell possessions? You're more capable of handling setbacks than you think.

Question 5: What are you putting off out of fear?

"Usually, what we most fear doing is what we most need to do," Ferriss rationalizes. "A person's success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have."

That phone call. A difficult conversation. That creative project. Fear of the unknown often prevents us from taking the very actions that could transform our lives. Define the worst-case scenario, accept it: then do it. Promise yourself to do one thing every single day that you fear.

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Question 6: What's the cost of doing nothing?

What is it costing you—financially, emotionally, and physically—to postpone action?

This may be the most crucial question of all, says Ferriss. If you don't pursue what excites you, where will you be in one year? Five years? Ten years? Inaction is the most significant risk of all.

Question 7: Well, what are you waiting for?

"If you cannot answer this without resorting to the concept of "good timing," the answer is simple: You're afraid, just like the rest of the world," writes Ferriss.

In that case, it's time to start again: Measure the cost of inaction. Realize the unlikelihood and repairability of most missteps. Develop the most critical action of those who excel and enjoy doing so: action.

man, journaling, success, fear, setting Fear-setting once a month can change your life. Photo credit: Canva

The psychology behind why fear-setting works

Fear-setting is rooted in Stoic philosophy, specifically, the practice of premeditatio malorum: deliberately imagining potential hardships to reduce their psychological impact. Modern psychology confirms what the Stoics knew all along: when we define our fears with specificity, they lose their power over us.

Here's why this approach is so practical:

It manages catastrophic thinking. Vague fears can feel like an ocean: overwhelming and impenetrable. However, specific fears are manageable.

It reveals our hidden resilience. Most people underestimate their ability to recover from setbacks.

It exposes the actual cost of inaction. No one likes losing or embarrassing themselves, but fear is a funny thing: we often ignore the losses that come from not acting.

Your action plan: 30 minutes that could change your life

"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." —Mark Twain.

Ready to try fear-setting yourself? Set aside 30 minutes this week. Grab a notebook and work through the seven questions above. Push yourself to be brutally honest: this exercise only works if you're willing to confront your fears directly.

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Tim Ferriss has used this exact process to make significant decisions in his life. And remember that lengthy paragraph earlier? Things turned out pretty well for him.

So, what do you have to lose? Apparently, the answer is "quite a lot." Track down your favorite pen and get to fear-setting. Your future self thanks you.

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Health

Doctor's unique '4-7-8' relaxation technique could help you fall asleep on-demand

It works much better than staring at the clock.

via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

The 4-7-8 technique can help you fall asleep.

Here's a rhetorical, but important question: Are you having a hard time falling asleep? If so, you're not the only one. Falling and staying asleep typically becomes more difficult as adults get older. We spend less time in deep sleep and REM sleep, and we struggle to fight off our worries and anxieties while lying in silence. Did you know there's actually a name for the phenomenon where you keep yourself awake by lying there and wondering why you're still awake? It's called "spectatoring" and it's incredibly frustrating.

Worse yet, the older we get the more likely we are to wake in the night and have trouble falling back asleep. This is why more and more Americans are turning to white noise, melatonin, meditation apps, special pillows, and anything they think can help them get most rest.

Fortunately, a doctor has shared the “most powerful” relaxation technique he knows, and it doesn’t require any equipment or cost a dime.

sleep, dr. andrew weil, fall asleep fast, relaxation techniques, breathing techniques, calm, anxiety, science, meditation Ever stare at the clock and repeatedly wonder why you can't fall asleep? It's called "spectatoring." Photo by Mpho Mojapelo on Unsplash

Dr. Andrew Weil has dubbed it the 4-7-8 method and it’s backed up by science.

Dr. Weil is an expert in integrative medicine and the founder and director of the Andrew Weil Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona.

The technique is simple:

Breathe in through your nose while you count to 4.
Hold your breath while you count to 7.
Exhale while you count to 8.

It's a unique protocol, especially when compared to another popular technique like Box Breathing. Box Breathing calls for an inhale, hold, exhale, and another hold of equal time (4 seconds). The extended exhale, in particular, is what makes Dr. Weil's 4-7-8 so original.

Here's Dr. Weil explaining his method:

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Dr. Weil says the method creates a "very pleasant, altered state of consciousness" that you may not experience the first time but will come as a "reward" of regular practice. Dr. Weil insists that the 4-7-8 technique is a practice, and you must do four breath cycles at least twice a day to get the benefits. "After a month, you can increase to 8 breath cycles if you're comfortable with it," adding that's the "absolute maximum."

Dr. Weil says that 4 to 6 weeks of doing the practice can lower heart rate, improve blood pressure, digestion and circulation and can promote sleep. A study published in Physiological Reports agrees, saying that practicing the 4-7-8 technique reduces heart rate and blood pressure for several minutes. It's important to note, though, that research is limited on the longterm benefits of 4-7-8 and experts urge us not to overhype it as more than it is.

4-7-8 is also an easy, fast, and effective way to help you fall asleep.

sleep, dr. andrew weil, fall asleep fast, relaxation techniques, breathing techniques, calm, anxiety, science, meditation Deep, intentional breathing may jumpstart melatonin production, helping us sleep. Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

"If you get up in the middle of the night for any reason, it is the most effective anti-anxiety technique that I've found,” Dr. Weil says.

Deep breathing, interestingly enough, has been shown to increase melatonin production in our bodies; that's the hormone that signals to our body that it's time to sleep. Combined with its ability to calm our mind and body, it's no wonder that intentional breathing exercises can put us to sleep in no time.

Why does deep breathing help us calm down and relax so effectively? There are a few reasons. First, when we're stressed or anxious, our breathing naturally becomes more shallow and irregular. Breaking that anxious breath pattern signals to our body that things are OK, that we're in control. Counting and being mindful of our breath also gives our mind something neutral to focus on instead of the usual chaotic images, intrusive thoughts, or worries. Third, deep breath settles down the part of our nervous system that controls our "fight-or-flight" response — and helps with elevated heart rate and muscle tension.

Remember again that 4-7-8 breathing is a practice. It can be used situationally to great effect, but for the best benefits its founder urges you to try it every single day for a cycle of 2-8 cycles.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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