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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women

We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.

women at work, comedy, leadership
With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Men and the feels.


Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.

In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.

One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.

Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?

IS IT?

Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.

women\u2019s communication, women in business, men

Encourage.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.

Sarah Cooper comedy, women, success

Sharing ideas.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."

emails, comedy, gen

Email requests.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.

office politics, men, relationships

Idea sharing.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.

sexism, sexist comments, sexual harassment

Sexism.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.

threats, non-threatening, mansplain

Mansplain.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.

leadership, work mistakes, hurt feelings

Mistakes.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.

promotions, management, coworkers

Promotions.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.

rude behavior, ignored, self esteem

Rude.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.

interruptions, resilience,expression

Interruptions.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.

typing, off-putting, work skills

Collaboration.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.

disagreements, solution, problem solving

Disagreements.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!

strategies, power dynamics, team player

In conclusion...

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.

About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.

humor, satire, executives

The comedic book cover.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.


This article was originally published on 3.25.19

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5 ways people are going "All In" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples this week.

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When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture a color-coordinated, fairy-themed surprise proposal that took months to create, or maybe you think of a singer who went on stage and nailed the perfect high note in front of everyone (like this girl). Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Going “all in” means doing something with total commitment—literally giving it your “all” and going completely over the top. No second guessing, no holding back—just full-throttle enthusiasm with some creativity and flair thrown in. That’s how we get those viral internet moments we can’t stop watching.

When people decide to go “all in,” something special usually happens as a result, and we’re here to show you how. This week, we’ve found the very best examples of people going “all in” across the Internet—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Follow along and feel inspired.

Hamilton superfans 

@itz.unique POV: You seen Hamilton the first night in theaters #hamiltonmusical #fyp #relatable #hamilton ♬ original sound - Uniii 😜

You already know we love a good Hamilton reenactment. This past weekend, though, Hamilton fans took their love for the musical to a whole other level. As theatres released the filmed stage production in honor of the musical’s tenth anniversary on Broadway, theatre kids everywhere showed up in costume and belted out every single word (it’s okay to sing in the theatre this time, by the way! Hamilton creator and star Lin-Manuel Miranda totally said we could). Some theatres sang along quietly, some chimed in loudly at the emotional parts, and some theatres truly went all in, staging elaborate reproductions of the scenes in the aisles, in time with the music. A bunch of theatre kids totally nerding out together, having fun, and celebrating good art? We love to see it.

Everyone's love of Pumpkin Spice Lattes

@deangelodbyrd It’s hereeee 😂🍂 #pumpkinspicelatte #fall2025 #funnyvideo #silly #funnydance @Starbucks ♬ original sound - DeAngelo

You know it's fall when you start seeing those plastic cups everywhere. That's right—it's Pumpkin Spice Latte season. Everyone is drinking them. Everyone is posting about them. Everyone is figuring out the perfect PSL pairing, whether that's pumpkin spice matcha lattes or just drinking a PSL curled up on the couch watching some spooky movies. (How about all of the above?)

Here's our recommendation: Pumpkin spice lattes pair perfectly with All In snack bars—specifically the Madagascar Vanilla + Almond option. It's got honey, it's got pumpkin seeds, and it's even got tons of fiber so you're getting some nutrition along with all the deliciousness. Don't take our word for it, though: Click here to try it yourself (for free).

This rendition of the Happy Birthday song

@kamoramakaylee Happy 84th birthday to our dad #tbt ♬ original sound - Kamora

There’s singing the Happy Birthday song, and then there’s singing the Happy Birthday song. This group of sisters did the latter. For their father’s birthday, they presented him with a cake (aww) and then launched into an embellished musical production of the last two lines that would put Whitney Houston to shame. The girls truly went all in, but perhaps the best part of this entire video is their dad,sitting wide-eyed at the table and gritting his teeth until the performance is over. (“He’s fine,” someone said in the comments section. “He lost his hearing ten birthdays ago.”)

Llama costumes

@kristeninmn Some of the costumes from the Minnesota State Fair’s 4-H Llama-Alpaca Costume Contest! #minnesotastatefair #mnstatefair #exploremn #onlyinmn #stpaulminnesota ♬ Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra

Every year at the Minnesota State Fair, the 4-H Llama-Alpaca Costume Contest steals the show. In it, participants dress their llamas in wildly imaginative costumes—everything from a sea anemone to a bucket of popcorn to Buzz Lightyear from the movie Toy Story—and transform the livestock barn into a whimsical runway. Every glittery cape, hand-painted prop, or themed outfit is a testament to their creativity, their time and effort, and most importantly their love for animals. All of it is on full display and it’s seriously impressive work. You can tell when it comes to their animals (and creativity), Minnesotans don’t hold back.

This dog who's totally faking it. 

@binkythechichi2

The king of drama

♬ original sound - cass

Okay, you have to give this guy some respect—he really doesn’t want his owner to go to work and he’s found an absolutely genius way of showing it. As soon as her alarm goes off in the morning, TikTok creator Cassidy Butler shared that her chihuahua Binky runs to the front door and actually starts faking injuries to get her to stay home with him (and sometimes, she admits, it works). Binky is absolutely committed, holding up his paw as though it were injured, plus shivering and even squinting one eye to show just how injured he is. He’s almost perfectly convincing—until Cassidy offers to take him outside to play and he momentarily breaks character. Oops! Still, we respect his dedication to the craft.

Snag your free (!!) snack bars here while this deal lasts. Just pick up a box at Sprouts and text a pic of your receipt to get it for free. Enoy!

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A hundred years ago, everyone wore hats. In 1960, they suddenly stopped. Here's why.

Old footage from the '50s shows men, women, and children wearing hats everywhere they go.

via Warmbru Curiosity/YouTube

When did everyone stop wearing hats?

It was everywhere. Men, women, and even children did it every time they left the house. If you see old newsreel footage of men in the office or on commuter trains from the advent of the motion picture camera to the early ‘60s, nearly everyone is wearing a hat. Hats were just as common for women in that era. For a woman to go out without a hat in the first half of the 20th century was akin to going out without clothes.

The funny thing is that everyone’s headgear is so similar in the old-timey footage that it makes previous generations look like big-time conformists. Then, in the early ‘60s, everything changed, and men and women started to go out in public with their hair exposed. Why did such a big aspect of fashion seem to change overnight?

Warmbru Curiosity investigated the question recently in a popular YouTube video. Warmbru’s channel is a lighthearted look at some of the more unusual people and events from our history and how they have influenced the world in which we live.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Why did people stop wearing hats?

Warmbru says fashion changed dramatically after World War II, when people in developed countries began to care less about expressing their social status. “This was especially true among the younger generation the rise of youth culture in the 1950s and 1960s emphasized rebellion against traditional norms, including formal dress codes,” the YouTuber says.

Mad Men, Don Draper, Jon Hamm, hats, mens fashion, men's hats, 1950s Don Draper from AMC's "Mad Men" Image via "Mad Men" AMC

Another big reason for the change in fashion was technology. Cars became the preferred mode of transportation for many after World War II and indoor environments became more hospitable. “People spent far less time exposed to the elements as people increasingly moved to urban areas and started using cars,” Warmbru says. “The practicality of wearing hats diminishes. Hats can be cumbersome in cars and on public transport, improvements in heating and air conditioning reduce the need for hats to provide warmth.”

Warmbru adds that President John F. Kennedy, elected in 1960, rarely wore a hat and his decision to go bareheaded became associated with modernity. Further, in 1963, the mop-topped Beatles proudly flaunted their hatless heads as they shook them while singing, “Wooooo.” Hat-wearing among women began to decline around the same time as the restrictive and complex headgear clashed with the burgeoning women’s liberation movement.

Kennedy, John F. Kennedy, Jackie Kennedy, hats, men, men's fashion, 1960's, 1950's John F. Kennedy with his family Image via Wikicommons

The decline in hat purchases meant that manufacturers closed and the headgear became harder to come by. This reduced availability further contributed to the decline in hat-wearing. As fewer people wore hats, there became a greater demand for high-quality hair products and services. “Why spend a fortune at the hairdressers or the barbers just to cover the end result with a hat?” Warmbru asks.

Ultimately, there were many reasons why people stopped wearing hats. It appears that it was a combination of technology, influential people such as Kennedy and The Beatles, and the overwhelming mood of change that swept most of the Western world in the 1960s. But if one thing is true about fashion, it goes in cycles. So, it seems that hats may be ready for their big comeback.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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How humanitarian parole programs help migrant families in crisis

Through her work as a humanitarian parole sponsor, Sandra McAnany has helped uplift more than a dozen Latin American migrants and changed lives in the process.

Sandra visiting E’s family in Georgia (2023)

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Levi Strauss Foundation

Sandra McAnany isn’t one to sit on the sidelines. A 58-year-old grandmother from Wisconsin, McAnany spends her days teaching soft skills classes to adults and spending time with her family. Outside the classroom, however, she’s taken on a role that’s helping people in a big way: serving as a humanitarian parole sponsor and personally taking on the financial responsibility of supporting families fleeing from persecution, violence, and instability.

Since 2023, McAnany has welcomed 17 migrants—11 adults and six children through the CHNV humanitarian parole program, which allows individuals and families from Cuba, Haiti, Nicaragua and Venezuela to live and work temporarily in the United States with the support of an approved sponsor.

“Everyone has their own views and perspectives, but every person I sponsored is thriving and doing well here,” McAnany said.

McAnany didn’t know any of the parolees before sponsoring them, but she had a commitment to helping families from Venezuela specifically, hoping to reunite them with their families who were already living in the United States. After “praying a lot along the way” and communicating with the applicants through WhatsApp, she decided to apply as a sponsor and help them settle into the United States.

“I have a bedroom and a bathroom in my basement,” McAnany says. “My door is open and will always be open for any of the people I sponsored, if they ever have a need for housing.”

Sandra’s granddaughter, E’s daughter, and another friend at an indoor park (July 2025)

At the time, McAnany decided to volunteer as a sponsor to make friends and help other people through hardship. Now, her mission has grown: Seeing how humanitarian parole programs have changed her parole beneficiaries’ lives—as well as her own—for the better.

Humanitarian parole: A long history

Humanitarian parole programs are nothing new. Since 1952, both Democratic and Republican administrations have used humanitarian parole to provide a safer, lawful pathway for noncitizens to enter and live temporarily in the United States. In recent years, through different programs, people from Afghanistan, Ukraine, Cuba, Haiti, and other countries have been able to come to the U.S. to escape urgent crises in their own countries, such as political instability or war.

Coming to the United States through humanitarian parole is no easy feat. The process has its own strict criteria and involves extensive applications and vetting for both beneficiaries and their sponsors. Parolees don’t need to qualify for any other immigration benefit like asylum, but they need to meet the standard for humanitarian parole and successfully pass vetting requirements.

According to Refugees International, 532,000 people have been granted parole through the CHNV program.

A life-changing experience

From the moment she met her first parole beneficiaries at the airport—two families —McAnany already knew it would be a life-changing experience. “It immediately felt like family, like we were lifelong friends,” she said. But she could also sense that it was a culture shock for the parolees. On the way home from the airport, McAnany pulled into a nearby McDonald's and encouraged them to order dinner. Hearing the word “Big Mac,” the families smiled in recognition.

Despite the culture shock, McAnany’s parole beneficiaries had to adapt quickly to life in the United States. Once they were settled, McAnany worked “nonstop” to help the families acclimate to their new lives, answering questions about school and vaccinations while also helping them create resumes, search for jobs, and find English classes online.

It was through this process that McAnany realized just how resilient people could be, and was amazed “not only how hard it was for individuals to leave their loved ones behind, but the amount of work they did to come to the country and remain here.” McAnany also realized how fortunate she was to have her own family living nearby. “I can’t imagine any one of us leaving a country and being apart for an unknown length of time,” she said.

Eventually, and as circumstances changed—one of the parolees found a new job in another city, for example, and was able to move out. But no matter the length of time they spent with each other, McAnany says that with every parolee they formed a bond built for life. One woman, who she refers to as ‘E,’ has even become “like an adopted daughter.” McAnany has traveled to Georgia, where E now lives, three times to visit her.

Uncertain ground: What’s next for humanitarian parole programs

Despite being a critical part of immigration policy in the United States for the last 73 years, humanitarian parole programs are under threat. Immigrant justice nonprofits Justice Action Center and Human Rights First are currently suing the federal government to protect humanitarian parole programs and allow parole beneficiaries to remain in the country for the duration of their parole. McAnany is a plaintiff in the lawsuit.

One of the ladies Sandra sponsored from Venezuela and her partner during Sandra’s first visit to meet her (December 2023)

Participating in the lawsuit has only further bolstered McAnany’s belief in and support for humanitarian parole programs. She hopes the lawsuit will be successful, she says, so that parole beneficiaries and their families can finally have some stability.

“We don’t know what the future is,” she says, “but I want to be optimistic and hopeful that every person I sponsored will be able to stay here safely in the U.S. and continue to thrive.”

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.


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Politics

Folks on 'left' and 'right' share one thing they respect about one another. It's giving hope.

As one person wrote, "This is the most mature comment section I’ve seen."

Courtesy of Ashley Rankin @gynaminte_/TikTok

Looking at the positives of the other side makes it a lot harder to hate.

The United States feels on edge right now, with passions running high and partisanized rhetoric ramping up in the days following Charlie Kirk's assassination in Utah. For non-extremists, it's disheartening to see people on both "the left" and "the right" being painted in sweeping brush strokes filled with vitriol.

Most of us don't live like this in our everyday lives. Most of us don't live at extremes and are capable of nuanced thought. We acknowledge that the world's problems are complex and know that we aren't always going to agree on every solution. While we may disagree, sometimes vehemently, we don't paint half of our fellow Americans as the enemy.

america, united states, polarization, political division, partisanship Political polarization is out of control. It doesn't have to be this way. Photo credit: Canva

A woman in Utah, Ashley Rankin, was feeling overwhelmed and confused about the state of the country when she decided to make a video plea for compassion and understanding. "While recording, I zoned out for a second and my face perfectly captured how I felt in that moment," she tells Upworthy. "I dropped the words and thought, rather than telling people to spread love, hope, and compassion, I want to see what they will do, when presented with the opportunity."

So she overlayed her few-second video with "If you lean left, tell me something you respect about the right. If you lean right, tell me something you respect about the left," adding, "Let's spread hope." She asked viewers to fill her comments with positivity, and in a miraculous flip of the script we so often see online, people delivered exactly what she asked for.

@gynamite_

Please fill my comments with positivity! I live in Utah and things feel heavy here. #bridgingthedivide #HopeInHumanity #BetterTogether #UtahCommunity #positive

The comments filled up with people leaning one way or the other—sometimes even pretty far to the left or right—expressing their respect and admiration for various characteristics and beliefs of the "other side." It's truly a beautiful outpouring that demonstrates how much closer we are than we think:

"I am conservative, but I appreciate the left's fight for free lunches and universal healthcare. I don't believe anyone should starve or be denied medical care because they can't afford it."

"Left here: I respect how the right heavily advocates for the farm and rural communities. We really do need to send more resources out to them and respect our farmers more."

"Lean right - love the passion of the left and how they always want to speak up for the smallest person in the room."

"Straight blue voter here. I do appreciate the conservative principle of fiscal responsibility for the govt. We may disagree how our tax dollars are spent, but I don’t disagree that govt is wasteful."

Season 19 Episode 10 GIF by The Simpsons Giphy

"More conservative, but I love how the left advocates for preserving our earth, mental health, and resources for those who NEED them."

"As a Democrat I appreciate republicans patriotism and love for country and support for our troops and veterans. I just wish their representatives would vote to support those things that most of their constituents want to support."

"I’m more right than left, but I respect the left for their belief that you don’t have to be a traditional family to have family values. I actually agree with that."

"Leftist here 🤘🏼 I live in a deeply conservative, rural area. Whenever I’m in need, there’s help. Fresh baked bread randomly, the mechanic giving me free advice/discounts, fresh farm eggs cheaper than the store🥹"

"I’m mostly conservative. I appreciated the level of anger and ongoing fight regarding the undoing of roe v wade."

"Extremely left here, I appreciate how fiercely the right stands up for the working people; farmers, etc. I also am with them on getting violent criminals off the streets."

farmer, conservatives, liberals, right and left, politics People on the right tend to support rural life.Photo credit: Canva

"I’m conservative. I do truly respect that the people on the left wanting gun control have good hearts and genuinely want the gun violence to end."

"Dear Left-leaning people, Thank you for your fight for immigration rights. I may not 100% agree with how we get there, but, everyone deserves the right to come into the country and to have a chance for a better life."

"By far the BEST comment section I've ever seen. I lean left heavily but I've always admired how persistent Republicans are at pushing legislation and the change they want to see."

Perhaps surprisingly, perhaps not, there was a ton of love for John McCain and Barack Obama coming from opposite sides of the aisle in the comments.

"My family was always conservative, but everyone voted for Obama twice. Sometimes we have to accept that labels are for soup cans and vote for the person better qualified to lead."

"I’m a lifelong Democrat. I really loved John McCain! I thought he was such a well-rounded example of a true American patriot!"

"I lean more right, but Obama was the last president I felt like we all respected."

"I don’t 'lean' left: I am left. However, I think John McCain also conducted himself with so much integrity. I think he tried to do a good job and actually cared about the people in this country."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"I am very Liberal and Canadian BUT when John McCain defended Obama against Muslim/ Arab attacks at his town halls…. I literally cried."

"I lean right, but I think the last time we had any dignity in politics, and I felt secure as a nation was when President Obama was in office. I think he’s an incredible leader, and he was the last time I trusted the person in power."

"I respect how John McCain stood up for Obama at one of his rallies and how he silenced the boos during his concession speech. Truly miss that kind of politics. Where we could disagree on issues but didn’t tear other down."

Mostly, though, people were just relieved and delighted to see how genuinely kind and heartfelt the comments were.

"This comment section glued a tiny piece of my heart back together."

"These comments are not what I expected to see. It gives me hope that we are not as divided as politicians and media wants us to believe."

"Reading all these comments makes me realize that we should be fighting extremists (both left and right) instead of each other."

"This is the most mature comment section I’ve seen. This is the dialogue I want to see. It’s easy to speak to each other when we do it in a respectful way rather than resorting to name-calling and oppressing others."

We really do have more in common than the online discourse and political rhetoric from many politicians would have us believe. Social media algorithms may reward extremism, but videos like this and the responses they're receiving are far more indicative of the reality most of us live in. Rankin's video has accumulated over 10,000 comments and they are overwhelmingly positive.

"I posted the short video hoping a few people would have genuine and respectful words, but was not expecting much," Rankin says. "I had NO idea the impact it would have on me and so many others. The comments were exactly what my weary heart needed. I'm finally proud to be an American again."

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Under or over? There actually is a 'right' way to hang a toilet paper roll.

The debate is settled, once and for all.

Elya/Wikimedia Commons

Should you hang the toilet paper roll over or under?

Humans have debated things large and small over the millennia, from democracy to breastfeeding in public to how often people ought to wash their sheets. But perhaps the most silly-yet-surprisingly heated household debate is the one in which we argue over which way to hang the toilet paper roll.

The "over or under" question has plagued marriages and casual acquaintances alike for over 100 years, with both sides convinced they have the soundest reasoning for putting their toilet paper loose end out or loose end under. Some people feel so strongly about right vs. wrong TP hanging that they will even flip the roll over when they go to the bathroom in the homes of strangers.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not merely an inconsequential preference. According to health experts and the man who invented the toilet paper roll, there is actually a "correct" way to hang toilet paper.

What is the correct way to hang a roll of toilet paper?

First, let's be clear about what we're even talking about here with a visual. In the image below, left is "over" and right is "under."

toilet paper, bathrooms, over or under, toilet roll, bathroom etiquette Toilet paper hung "over" (left) and "under" (right)Elya/Wikimedia Commons


So which one is the right way? According to health experts, "over" is the way to go.

"One key to maintaining a hygienic washroom is minimising contact between people and surfaces," Dr. Christian Moro, associate professor of health sciences and medicine at Bond University on Australia's Gold Coast, told Australian Broadcasting Corporation. "Depending on the type of roll holder, [hanging the toilet paper "over"] often lowers the chance that a user will touch the wall behind when fishing for paper, leaving germs behind on that surface which can be spread to the next user."

Picture it: Grabbing the end of the toilet paper when it's hung "over" means you only touch the part of the toilet paper you're going to use. When it's "under," you sometimes have to fish for it or scrape your fingers on the wall in order to grab the loose end. In addition to whatever might be on people's hands already, think about all the people who wipe twice, potentially transferring fresh fecal matter or other bacteria to the wall on the second pass, which then get picked up by other people who inadvertently touch that wall when trying to grab their TP.

Theoretically, we all should have become better hand washers during the pandemic, scrubbing with soap for the full 20 seconds it takes to remove bacteria. But I wouldn't be willing to bet on it.

toilet paper, empty toilet paper roll, batthroom, bathroom etiquette, over or under Empty toilet paper roll.via Canva/Photos

And touching any surface in a bathroom is pretty nasty, according to a study from the University of Colorado. As Inc. reported: "Using a high-tech genetic sequencing tool, researchers identified 19 groups of bacteria on the doors, floors, faucet handles, soap dispensers, and toilets of 12 public restrooms in Colorado — six men’s restrooms and six women’s restrooms. Many of the bacteria strains identified could be transmitted by touching contaminated surfaces."

Bacteria means things like e.coli, which is a common source of food poisoning and one of the most common bacteria found on bathroom surfaces in the study. If you've ever had a bout of food poisoning, I'm sure you'll agree that a toilet paper roll hanging preference isn't worth risking it.

But sanitary health concerns aren't the only argument for the "over" camp. After all, the original patent for the toilet paper roll, issued in 1891, clearly shows the TP in the "over" position. Thank you for the clarity right from the get go, Mr. Wheeler.

toilet paper, bathrooms, over or under, toilet roll, bathroom etiquette The toilet paper roll was patented by Seth Wheeler in 1891.Public Domain


In Wheeler's patent, the perforated toilet paper hangs on a roll in the "over" position. In the words of the patent, the sheets of TP are “partially separated, having their points of attachment arranged in a novel manner, whereby each sheet will easily separate from the series as it is drawn from the roll, there being no litter occasioned, and any waste of paper is thereby prevented.”

Now, before the "under" folks come running with their pitchforks, there are some understandable exceptions to the "over" rule. Namely: cats and kids.

If you have a furry friend or a tiny toddler who likes to unroll the toilet paper roll, "over" makes it super fun for them, while "under" stops them in their tracks. For many people, cats and kids are the primary motivator of their TP hanging habits.

That doesn't change the fact that "over" is actually the "correct" way to hang toilet paper according to health science and the inventor's intention, of course, but "under" is certainly preferable to having a pile of TP on the floor.

Now go forth, do that with information as you will, and try to make peace with your over vs. under rivals.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Gen Xers and Millennials share childhood memories that would 'destroy' today's kids

The '70s, '80s, and '90s were a different time.

Photo credit: Canva

Nobody wants to relive this.

When adults compare themselves to “kids today,” two somewhat opposing views tend to happen at once. There's both rose-colored nostalgia (“the '90s were a simpler time!” “let’s go back to before we had screens!”) and a sense of superiority when it comes to facing challenges (“kids today are soft!” “I had to walk to school uphill in the snow both ways!").

Regarding the latter, perhaps a lot of that can be attributed to a cultural shift that’s more child-centered. This has led to a quantifiable increase in the number of “sheltered” kids, according to a new Harris Poll. Kids who never walked along in a grocery aisle, talked with a neighbor without their parents, walked/biked somewhere (without a chaperone…certainly nothing like the childhood many of us '70s/'80s/'90s kids grew up in.

This sparked a conversation among Gen Xers and Millennials on TikTok when someone asked, “What’s something we survived as kids that would absolutely emotionally destroy today’s kids?” Woo boy, did folks deliver. Dodgeballs flying at their face, handwriting words in cursive for hours on end, waiting weeks to get back terrible pictures…no one today could handle that. And those are just some of the examples. Keep reading for more.

1. "Going all day at school without a water bottle. We might get a small drink of water from the water fountain at recess, that’s it. Take away a younger person’s water bottle today for five minutes, and they act like they’ve been in the desert for three days without a drop of water and will die of dehydration."

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2. "Having to talk to people to get your questions answered. For everything." — meanwhile, I've seen today's kids have full-blown panic attacks simply about having to ask a waiter, "May I please get a cheeseburger?"

3. "No binge mode. If you wanted to watch The X-Files, you had to be in the house every Friday night while everyone partied. For four years."

"If you missed your episode, you might never see it."

3. "Having to encounter everything 'by chance.' Favorite song on the radio, favorite movie on TV… made it so much more rewarding, but we’ll never experience that emotion again. Like running into a friend out in the wild."

4. "Munching on snacks at 1 am watching Faces of Death."

For those unfamiliar, Faces of Death is a 1978 American horror film that shows scenes of gruesome deaths from around the world, both real and re-enacted. Fun, right?

gen x, millennials, gen z, gen alpha, boomers generational humor, tiktok, generational differences This movie earned 45% on Rotten Tomatoes. Amazon.com

5. "Dodgeball. I just played gaga ball with a bunch of Generation Alphas and omg, these kids are not gonna be okay."

What is gaga ball, you ask? A variation that's gentler, faster-paced, and more accessible. It’s Dodgeball Lite, essentially. And honestly, it's a legitimate improvement from the needlessly savage original.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

6. "Having to write everything in cursive from third grade on in pen. Writing by hand the rough draft, then the 2nd rough draft, then the final draft."

Man, lots of thoughts about handwriting, actually…

"Having to write a research paper while properly citing sources in the required format using only books, newspapers or microfiche from the library. And having to find all that by using the Dewey Decimal System. Also, no spell or grammar check to find our mistakes for us."

"Having to write a rough draft, having a classmate mark it up with errors, re-write it for the teacher to review with more mark-ups, and then having to write the final draft in pen, sometimes in cursive lol."

"That bump on the side of your middle finger from handwriting everything."

7. "Being bored. Kids today don’t know what real boredom is."

More specifically…

8. "Driving with your parent with NO FORM of entertainment. Just look out the window."

Even worse…

9. "Being trapped in the car with your smoker parents… with windows up. And of course, zero functioning seat belts."

10. "Babysitting infants and other small children when you yourself were only 12."

11. "Not being able to see the photographs before they get developed when using disposable cameras/rolls of film in the little black tubes."

12. "Dial-up internet and how it disconnected when someone else made a phone call."

Internet Internet Down GIFfrom Internet GIFs

13. "Driving without using GPS."

"Or when MapQuest was a thing and we had to print out directions to follow! I drove cross country with twenty pages of directions hahahaha."

14. "Trying to follow makeup tutorials that were just blocks of text in Cosmo magazine. No visuals. 🤣"

15. "Forgetting your key and having to wait from 3:45 pm until 6:00 pm when your mom finally gets home. No snacks, no water."

16. "Eating whatever is served, regardless of whether you like it or hate it. There was no asking what we wanted to eat for dinner or what sounded good to us. Nasty pot pie with peas? Eat it. Liver and onions that smell like absolute death? Eat it. And you ain't getting down from the table until your plate is clean — and they meant it. It could be all the way until bedtime. You not getting down. Period. My sister fell asleep face-first into her plate once."

17. "Having to find a library book through the card catalog to know its location."

18. "Calling your friend’s house and talking to their parents first when they pick up the phone. Small talk and communication skills in general have taken a huge hit."

19. "Pooping without a phone."

20. "The TV used to cut to nothing at night. literally the TV would just show the flag 'til the next day… Good night, America."

21. "You only got three lives in a video game, and when you died, you had to start from the very beginning!!"

22. "Blowing and smacking Nintendo games to make them work or not glitch."

23. "Having homework from all classes due the next day! 😂"

24. "Having to rewind a cassette tape with a pencil after being unraveled inside the cassette player, hoping it doesn’t twist while rewinding."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

25. “Those metal pedals on our bikes, hitting your shin cause you missed the pedal or riding with no shoes on."

26. "Having to cover all textbooks with paper bags from the local grocery store. The paper bags had outlines on how to cover your textbooks. Hated this for years. It eventually stopped in high school, possibly 11th grade."

27. "Actually going to a potential employer to ask if they’re hiring and for an application."

28. "The loud ticking of the massive analog clock on the wall during a test. The whole room silent. But the ticking of clock as loud as a rock concert. Every second click click click. I can still hear it in my nightmares. You know y’all younginz can’t tell time unless it’s digital."

29. "When I was in elementary school, lunch was still paid for with cash UNLESS you were a poor kid with free lunch. Then, they gave you a bright yellow laminated card and everyone in your class knew you were poor. 😏"

30. "Blackouts. They will NEVER survive blackouts the way we did back then."

31. "Chickenpox!"

32. "Not knowing if The Blair Witch Project was real or not."

Abell46s GIFfrom Abell46s GIFs

33. "Roman candle fights."

Ah yes, pointing fireworks at each other. What could possibly go wrong?

- YouTube www.youtube.com

34. “Climbing and falling off six-foot monkey bars onto plain concrete."

35. "The merry-go-round...pure steel in the summer."

36. "The threat of pulling 20 to life for my LimeWire bootlegs. The media had me feeling like young Capone."

37. "Thinking the world will end when Y2K comes."

38. "Computer crashing while just putting the finishing touches on your school report and you didn’t hit save."

39. "Having to manually change the channel on the TV and if the knob broke looking frantically for pliers!!! Don’t get me started on the aluminum foil on the TV antennas!"

40. "I was home alone in the morning and got myself fed, dressed and walked myself to afternoon Kindergarten."

41. "Non-stop bullying was normal. 😩"

Respeto GIFfrom Bully GIFs


42. "Riding in the back of a pickup truck down the highway."

43. "A dentist that doesn’t numb your gums before jabbing you with a needle."

44. "Having that ONE copy of the video you and your friends made, greatest memories ever, and then your dad tapes over it for a 90-second Tyson fight."

…and lastly…

45. "The Challenger Explosion, and no trauma counseling after. We were expected to just move on to the next class and go about our day."

That said, we can probably all agree that in reality, kids today endure plenty—we didn't exactly have to contend with active shooter drills, cyberbullying, etc.—and are incredibly resilient in their own way. This was more lighthearted than anything else. Or, at the very least, a fun and traumatic romp down memory lane for us olds.

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ASICS tackles UK girls’ sports dropout crisis with revolutionary gym uniform redesign

The athletic brand calls it “The Undropped Kit.”

CREDIT: ASICS

Girls cheering.

When 64% of UK girls abandon sports before their 16th birthday, the ripple effects extend far beyond empty stadiums and playing fields. This staggering dropout rate represents more than a million teenage girls in the UK who will carry the physical and mental health consequences of inactivity into adulthood—and shockingly, one of the most overlooked culprits is something seemingly simple: what they’re required to wear.


- YouTube www.youtube.com

ASICS, in partnership with Inclusive Sportswear and mental health charity Mind, has revealed the “Undropped Kit,” a groundbreaking reimagination of school PE uniforms designed specifically with teenage girls’ comfort, confidence, and participation in mind. This shift represents more than just athletic wear or style; it addresses a public health crisis hiding in plain sight.


The hidden barrier: how PE kits become a participation killer

The numbers paint an anguished—and preventable—picture. Research commissioned by ASICS revealed that only 12% of UK girls are “completely satisfied” with their current school PE kit, while 70% of girls aged 14-16 said they would be more likely to participate in PE if their kit made them feel more comfortable. Perhaps most telling: only one in four girls aged 11-13 feels confident in their PE kit, a dramatic drop from 65% of girls aged 7-8.


girls, sports, gym, uniform, revolutionary Girl sitting by herself in the gym.CREDIT: ASICS

The specific complaints from girls show a clear picture of systematic design failures. As teenage participants in the research explained, "Our kit is itchy, see-through, and makes you really sweaty.” Others cited concerns about "period leaks showing," "baggy and shapeless" designs that "feel like they were made for boys," and the inability to adjust for different weather conditions or body types.

These aren't superficial concerns—they represent fundamental barriers to participation. The Youth Sport Trust's 2024 Girls Active survey found that 58% of girls want more PE kit options compared to just 29% of boys, highlighting how current uniform policies fail to address gender-specific needs.

Redesigning for real bodies, real concerns

The Undropped Kit represents a radical departure from traditional PE uniforms, incorporating features directly requested by teenage girls during extensive focus groups and testing at Burnley High School—specifically chosen because it's located in one of the UK regions with the lowest PE participation rates, according to Sport England.

The innovative design tackles each barrier systematically. For weather concerns, the kit includes a jacket with a detachable inner liner and padded panels for warmth retention, plus water-repellent fabric and a packable hood for wet conditions. To address comfort concerns, designers incorporated softer, darker, sweat-wicking fabrics that prevent visibility issues while providing better moisture management.


girls, sports, gym, uniform, revolutionary One of the revolutionary Undropped Kit outfits. CREDIT: ASICS

Perhaps most importantly, the kit addresses period-related anxieties—cited as the most significant barrier by 47% of girls aged 11-13 and 52% of girls aged 14-15. The solution includes dark-colored materials with discreet pockets for storing sanitary products, providing both practical storage and psychological comfort.

The versatility component centers on biker shorts as a base layer, which can be worn alone or paired with a detachable skirt or shorts for a stylistic choice between fitted and looser styles. This addresses the frequent complaint that current uniforms offer no accommodation for different body shapes or confidence levels. Small details matter too—the kit even includes an emergency hair tie built into the design.

The dropout crisis: more than just numbers

The scale of girls' disengagement from physical activity represents one of the most significant public health challenges of our time. By age 17-18, a whopping 55% of girls will have disengaged from sports entirely, with 43% of girls who classified themselves as sporty in primary school no longer identifying that way. This compares to just 24% of boys experiencing similar disengagement.


girls, sports, gym, uniform, revolutionary Girls warming up. CREDIT: ASICS

The timing is particularly devastating. Girls drop out at twice the rate of boys by age 14, precisely when the physical and mental health benefits of regular exercise become most crucial for development. The Youth Sport Trust's research reveals a significant decline in enjoyment: 86% of girls aged 7-8 enjoy PE, but this drops to just 56% among girls aged 14-15.

Globally, the crisis is even more stark: 85% of adolescent girls worldwide don't meet World Health Organization physical activity recommendations (an average of 60 minutes per day of moderate-to vigorous-intensity, mostly aerobic, physical activity, across the week), compared to 78% of boys. In England specifically, only 8% of girls are now classified as highly active, a dramatic decrease from 30% in 2017-18.

The intersection of puberty, body image concerns, and inadequate athletic wear creates a perfect storm: 50% of girls feel paralyzed by fear of failure during puberty, while 42% of girls aged 14-16 say their period stops them from taking part in PE. When combined with a kit that makes them feel exposed, uncomfortable, or "different," participation becomes psychologically untenable.

The broader societal stakes

The implications of mass female disengagement from physical activity extend far beyond individual health outcomes. Research from the Women's Sports Foundation demonstrates that girls who play sports experience 1.5 to 2.5 times fewer mental health disorders than girls who never played. Specifically, only 17% of girls who play sports experience moderate to high levels of depression, compared to 29% for girls who never played.


girls, sports, gym, uniform, revolutionary Girls wearing the Undropped Kit.CREDIT: ASICS

The protective effects are comprehensive. Sports participation provides 1.5 times higher scores for peer relationships and 1.5 times higher reported levels of meaning and purpose. These benefits extend across racial, economic, and disability lines, suggesting that sports access could serve as a powerful equalizer during critical developmental years.

The economic implications are equally significant. When girls abandon physical activity during adolescence, they're more likely to develop chronic health conditions, experience mental health challenges, and miss out on the leadership and teamwork skills that sports uniquely provide. Girls active in sports during adolescence and young adulthood are 20% less likely to get breast cancer later in life, while also showing improved academic performance and career outcomes, research shows.

Beyond the kit: systemic change

While the Undropped Kit represents an innovative solution to a specific barrier, ASICS and its partners recognize that sustainable change requires broader systemic intervention. The initiative includes the Inclusive Sportswear Community Platform, which provides schools, teachers, and parents with free access to expert training, toolkits, and guidance developed with the Youth Sport Trust.

The platform advocates for inclusive PE kit policies that prioritize choice and comfort over uniformity. As Tess Howard, founder of Inclusive Sportswear and Team Great Britain hockey player, explains: "A PE kit is the most underrated reason girls drop out of PE, but the good news is we can fix it—and fast. By listening to girls and evolving [sports] kits to support their needs, we can lift this barrier.”


girls, sports, gym, uniform, revolutionary Girls wearing the Undropped Kit. CREDIT: ASICS

The Undropped Kit prototype serves as both a practical solution and a powerful statement: that girls' comfort, confidence, and participation matter enough to reimagine fundamental assumptions about school uniforms completely. While the kit itself isn't available for commercial purchase, its impact lies in demonstrating what becomes possible when design truly centers user needs.

The crisis of girls dropping out of sports isn't inevitable. It's the result of systems, policies, and products that weren't designed with their needs in mind. ASICS' Undropped Kit proves that when we genuinely listen to girls and design for their experiences, we can begin to reverse decades of exclusion and build a generation of confident, active young women.

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