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I'm teaching my 6- and 7-year-old boys about consent. Here's how it's gone so far.

parenting, consent, education, sexuality, community
Photo by saeed karimi on Unsplash

The scenarios of parenting have many hurdles in order to offer a healthy way of approaching life.

The second week of first grade, my 6-year-old son came home and told me, very seriously, "Mama, I have a girlfriend, and I love her."

I didn't laugh at him or tell him he is too young to have a girlfriend, and I didn't minimize his feelings. We had a very serious conversation about his girlfriend: what he likes about her, what they talk about at lunch, and what games they play on the playground at recess. I asked questions about her; some he knew the answers to, and some he didn't.

Nearly every day after that for some time, we talked about his girlfriend, and in every conversation, in some way, we talked about consent — what it means, what it looks like, and how I expect him to act.


I didn't objectify the little girl by referring to her as "your little girlfriend" as I've heard other adults tease their own children. I didn't make jokes about him being a heartbreaker or tell him that the girls will be falling all over him by high school. I didn't tell him his feelings don't matter — and I definitely didn't tell him her feelings don't matter. I think the seeds of misogyny are planted with words as much as behavior, and I treated his emotions seriously because, for him, being in love for the first time is the most serious thing in the world. He will remember this little girl just as I remember my first boyfriend, and how I handle things now is setting the tone for the future.

I wasn't expecting to have these conversations in the context of a relationship quite so soon.

His older brother is more introverted, with the exception of the occasional fleeting crush. But I have been talking about consent and modeling it since my sons were babies.

The idea that young men need to learn about consent in high school or college goes hand-in-hand with the idea that sex education shouldn't be taught before then, either. Consent is an ongoing conversation in our home, framed to suit the situation. But now that my son has a girlfriend, I'm finding ways to introduce the concept of consent within a relationship on a level that he can understand.

From the time my sons were very little — before they could even talk — I started teaching them about body autonomy and consent.

"Do you want me to tickle you?" "Can I pick you up?" "Do you want me to brush your hair?"

I would ask whenever I could, waiting for their response before proceeding. Yes, of course, there are times when a young child needs to be picked up or hair needs to be brushed whether they want it or not, but there are just as many times when children can be given — and deserve — the right to choose. And so I let them decide whenever I can.

Teaching them that no one can touch them without permission was the first step in teaching them about respecting the boundaries of others.

I model the respect I expect them to extend to others. It is an ongoing lesson, as the most important lessons always are.

Of course they fight — what siblings don't? But I teach them that, whatever the game or activity, if someone says "Stop!" or "No!" they are to stop what they are doing.

To that end, I try to stay out of their squabbles and give them time to sort them out. If they don't stop, there are consequences. We talk about how it feels to have someone keep chasing, tickling, or bothering you when you've told them to stop. I watch their empathy for others grow as they consider how it feels to be little and have grownups want to touch their faces or hug them without permission. They're learning, and it gives me hope.

But now I'm having daily conversations with my youngest son about girlfriends and what is — and isn't — OK.

He knows he has to ask if she wants a hug before he touches her. He knows that it's rude to refer to her as "my girlfriend" when talking about her and that it's better, and more respectful, to use her name.

He knows that if he gives her a gift, he should give her a chance to respond instead of inundating her with more gifts. "Let's wait and see how she feels about this lovely picture you made her before you draw another one," I tell him, explaining how overwhelming it can be to have someone give you gifts when you're not ready for them or haven't had a chance to return the affection. Of course, I'm thinking about the boy I knew my junior year of high school who would constantly leave me trinkets of his affection at my locker — affection that wasn't reciprocated and made me uncomfortable, especially after I asked him to stop.

I don't know if I'm doing this right, honestly.

There are times when I think to myself, "But he's only 6! Why are we even having this conversation?" And then I remind myself, "If not now, when?"

I know what it means to be a girl in this world, and my sons are starting to hear my #MeToo stories, the ones they're old enough to understand. How do I talk about what's wrong in the world if I'm not willing to talk about the right behaviors, the right way to treat women?

I know my sons have a good role model in their father and in our marriage. I know they watch how my husband interacts with me, and I see it reflected in how they treat me. It's a start, but I know it's not enough in a world that sends mixed messages to boys about girls and how to treat them.

It's been eye-opening, seeing how my children regard consent.

I've seen how those early lessons in teaching them about their own right to say no have gone a long way in teaching them the empathy and respect they show for others now.

I know we're not done; we're only just starting. I know it's only going to get more complicated as they get older.

But at the end of the day, no matter their age, the core lesson is the same: respect people, care about how they are feeling in your interactions with them, and remember that others have a right to feel differently than you do and to set boundaries for what is OK with them. The situations will change, but those words will be repeated again and again.

Teaching consent is not a one-time discussion. It's something I want my sons to think about every single day.

This story originally appeared on Ravishly and is reprinted here with permission. More from Ravishly:

    empty nester, empty nesters, declutter, decluttering, decluttering tips

    Mom and empty nester shares her tips for decluttering her home.

    Deep cleaning and decluttering a home is a daunting task—especially for empty nesters. After spending a lifetime creating memories and living together under one roof, doing a big declutter can take an emotional toll.

    It's a milestone that many empty nesters know the sting of. And in a cleaning community on Reddit, a 51-year-old mom and recent empty nester shared her experience cleaning and decluttering her home after entering this new phase of life.


    "In my entire life, my house has always been messy. I mean, I didn’t have a disaster-level situation going on, but if someone dropped by unannounced, it would’ve been super embarrassing," she shared. "When my kids were younger, we had a housekeeper because I just couldn’t keep up. Now that we’re empty nesters, I realized I never really learned how to keep house."

    - YouTube www.youtube.com

    She explained that the book Unf*ck Your Habitat: You're Better Than Your Mess played an integral part in helping her declutter—and offered eight helpful tips to fellow empty nesters looking to organize their new lives.

    1. Put stuff away, not down.

    Her first tip is the key to decluttering.

    "Whatever you have goes right back where it’s supposed to go when I’m done with it," she notes.

    2. Do laundry every day.

    And she doesn't just wash and dry her laundry when doing it.

    "Just one load, start to finish. Wash, dry, fold, and put away," she shares. "Also, no chair or floor laundry. It gets put in the hamper or hung back up. No clothes are ever out."

    3. I make the bed every day.

    The benefits keep on giving by doing this, she notes.

    "It just makes my bedroom look cleaner and I smile every time I come in my room," she writes. "Plus we aren’t fighting over the covers when we get in because the bed is straightened out."

    - YouTube www.youtube.com

    4. Do a quick daily clean-up of commonly used spaces.

    She cleans the places that she and her husband use frequently.

    "I keep a stack of cleaning rags in my master bath because it’s the only bathroom that’s used every single day. Every night, I spray the counter, wipe everything down, put everything back (that my husband leaves out), and wipe the mirror," she explains. "I also wipe down the toilet. I find that I don’t need a huge, big cleaning of this space because I’m keeping it up daily. Same goes for the kitchen."

    5. Dishes are always put away, cabinet or dishwasher.

    No dishes in the sink or stuck in the dishwasher.

    "Dishes are finished in the dishwasher? It’s emptied and dirty ones are placed inside while waiting for the dishwasher to get full," she notes.

    @brunchwithbabs

    Life Changing Dishwasher Hack #tutorials #kitchenhacks #parentsoftiktok #dishwasherhack

    6. Don't neglect your shoes.

    When she takes them off, they get put away.

    "Shoes are put away immediately upon walking in the house," she shares.

    7. Knock out small tasks.

    There is no time to waste.

    "If it takes less than 5 minutes clean it while you’re waiting for something else to get done," she writes.

    8. Take no days off.

    Rather than assign certain days for cleaning, she is constantly doing it throughout the week.

    "Lastly, I do not have scheduled cleaning days. I just do something all the time," she explains. "My life is kind of unpredictable, we love traveling or going out for the day so my so called cleaning schedule would be shot to hell every time. It’s better this way, because now I never feel behind."

    great depression, the great depression, great depression recipes, great depression food, great depression recipe
    Lewis Wickes Hine/Library of Congress, Dorothea Lange/Wikipedia

    Recipes from the Great Depression to make today.

    The Great Depression, which lasted from 1929-1939, caused economic turmoil worldwide. Families struggled to feed themselves, and went to extreme lengths to stretch food and utilize all available ingredients.

    Known as the Greatest Generation (those born between 1901 and 1927), their resourcefulness resulted in a number of creative (and delicious) recipes that remain relevant today. Home chefs and bakers shared their Great Depression recipes on Reddit that have been passed down and are still enjoyed today to help others get inventive and save money.


    From soups and stews to cakes, these are 17 Great Depression recipes to try.

    - YouTube www.youtube.com

    Soups, Stews and More

    Beef and Noodles

    "My grandmas go to: Bag of egg noodles 1 can of creamed corn 1 can Campbells chicken noodle soup 1 lb ground beef. Salt and pepper to taste. Brown ground beef, add all other ingredients, add enough water or light chicken stock to cover noodles if needed. Bring to boil, and reduce to a simmer for about 15 minutes, take off the heat and let it rest 10 minutes before serving with buttered white bread. I still make this to this day. My kids loved it too. Basically homemade Hamburger Helper." - -__Doc__-

    Hoover Stew

    Ingredients

    1 box noodles
    A can of tomatoes
    1 package of hot dogs, or 1 can of sausage or meat
    A can of corn, peas or beans
    2-4 cups water

    Instructions

    "Mix all ingredients together in a pot until boiling. Then simmer for 15-20 minutes until the noodles are tender. If you have aromatics, onion and garlic would be a great addition. If not, the recipe is great as is." - Josuaross54

    Zaprezna soup

    "Depression soup... make a roux, add salt pepper and caraway seeds. Add water to make a thick soup texture. Use an egg or two mixed with flour and salt pepper and mix together to make dumplings.. drop into the soup to cook.. This was called zaprezna soup or depression soup. We ate it often in the 60's after my dad abandoned us. Money was short but this soup was good." - User Unknown

    Chipped Beef On Toast

    Ingredients

    8 oz. dried beef jerky
    2 tbsp butter or oil
    4 tbsp flour
    4 cups milk
    Salt and pepper to taste
    Sliced homemade bread, for serving

    Instructions

    "Add jerky and oil to a pan over medium heat. Cook until the meat softens, about 3-4 minutes. Stir in your flour and cook for 1-2 minutes. Add milk and bring to a low boil. Allow sauce to thicken for up to 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper if you have it. Serve over homemade bread, toasted if desired." - Josuaross54

    Rivel Soup

    "In Ohio…My mom would cook Rivel Soup when I was a kid in 80s and 90s. She still makes it. It’s milk based with flour dough balls in it. I hate it. Sometimes they would fry potatoes and put them in the soup." - Vegetable_Record_855

    Potato Soup

    Ingredients

    4 large potatoes, peeled and sliced (or 2 cans of potatoes)
    2 garlic cloves, chopped
    One carrot, sliced
    A can of meat, sausage, or hot dogs (optional)
    3 cups water or stock
    3 cups milk
    Any herbs you have on-hand
    Salt to taste

    Instructions

    "Slice all your potatoes, garlic, and carrots. Add to a soup pot with the meat, water, and milk. Bring to a boil and reduce the heat, keeping the mix at a low simmer. Then, cook for 30 minutes until all veggies are tender. Add herbs and salt, if using. Serve hot." - Josuaross54

    Tuna Fish Stew

    "My mother's family always made tuna fish stew. It is celery, potatoes, canned tuna fish, milk, and hard boiled eggs. Sautee the celery until half way cooked, throw in some chopped potatoes and water. Cook until the potatoes are done. Thin the stew with some milk. Throw in chopped hard boil eggs. Salt and pepper to taste Serve over stale bread. It was cheap, quick, and really filling." - RoseNoire4

    @foodwanderer

    Great Depression Cooking Recipe #greatdepression #recipe #cooking #frugalmeals #cookingonabudget #nostalgia #friedpotatoes #hotdogs #foodwanderer #tastetest #SplashSummerVibe

    Sides

    Baked Beans

    Ingredients

    1 package soaked dried beans, or 2 cans of beans
    One tomato, chopped
    1 onion, chopped
    2 cloves garlic, chopped
    2 tbsp lard
    Two tbsp molasses
    One cup water

    Instructions
    "Soak your beans, if using dried, overnight and drain the liquid. Prepare your veggies by chopping. Omit any vegetable that you do not have on-hand. Add lard to a stock pot and cook your vegetables until tender. Add the beans, molasses, and water. Cook all together with a lid on for 2-3 hours or until the beans have your desired consistency. Add more water if needed.

    Milk Potatoes

    "Milk potatoes. Fry sliced potatoes with salt, pepper and a bit of onion until almost done. Pour milk over potatoes and simmer until potatoes are cooked through." - kms811•6y ago

    Ash Cakes

    "Ash cakes got their name because different renditions are cooked in the hot white ash of your campfire. These are only 3 ingredients but are filling and have a great texture.

    Ingredients

    ½ cup cornmeal
    1 cup meat stock or water
    2 tbsp lard or grease

    Instructions
    Mix both ingredients together in a bowl and allow to sit overnight to hydrate the cornmeal. Pat into a bread pan and refrigerate or add to your cool storage before allowing to set up. The next day, slice into 1-inch slices and fry in melted lard. Serve hot and crispy." - Josuaross54

    Sweets

    Potato Donuts

    "Potato donuts 🍩 from depression era cooking with Dylan Hollis." - BainbridgeBorn

    Wacky Cake

    "If you have interest in baking, make a wacky cake. It’s a chocolate cake that has no milk, butter, or eggs, because those items were scarce during the Depression, but it is so good! The recipe I linked has more steps, but I’ve known a lot of people to literally just dump and mix everything in the baking dish." - gwhite81218

    @bdylanhollis

    The cake without butter, eggs or milk #baking #vintage #cooking #cake

    Rice Pudding

    Ingredients

    1 cup rice
    2 cups milk
    2 tbsp butter
    3 tbsp honey, maple syrup, or molasses
    Pinch of cinnamon

    "Combine all ingredients in a small saucepan and cook over low heat, about 20 minutes, stirring frequently. Taste for doneness and cook an additional 5 minutes, tasting until desired consistency. Serve warm." - Josuaross54

    Tomato Soup Cake

    "Tomato soup cake." - AxelCanin

    Water Pie

    "Water pie 😋😍." - AxelCanin

    Mock Apple Pie

    "There was a thing for 'apple' pie made with Ritz crackers my grandmother made some time ago (she was born 1901 so def Depression life).https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/9545/mock-apple-pie/ That recipe looks more complicated than the one grandma made, but there are a number of recipes online for it, including one made by Ritz, on the box." - User Unknown

    Hard Time Pudding

    "Batter: 1 cup flour
    1/2 cup white sugar
    1/2 cup raisins (Optional, I hate them)
    3 tsp Baking powder
    1/2 cup water
    Syrup: 1 1/2 cup Brown sugar
    1 TBSP. butter/marg.
    1 tsp vanilla
    1 1/2 - 2 cup water

    Mix together flour, sugar, raisins, Baking powder, and water. Pour into a baking dish. In a sauce pan combine brown sugar, butter, water bring to boil then add vanilla and pour over the batter. Bake at 300 º for 1/2 hour." - MsBean18

    Joe grew up without stability. Now, he’s giving 10 adopted sons the home he never had.
    True
    Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

    Like many children who are placed in foster care across the United States, Joe’s childhood was marked by chaos and a struggle to survive.

    Joe still remembers neglect and abuse being part of his daily reality. Often left to care for his younger siblings alone, Joe grew up far too quickly.


    He and his brothers were placed in the New York foster care system at an early age. And when he aged out of foster care at 21, he had no family to turn to for support.

    “Statistically, I should be in jail, or I could be dead,” Joe said. “But that’s not my destiny.”

    Today, Joe is determined to change the trajectory for young people lingering in foster care … as an adoptive parent and as an advocate, raising awareness along with organizations like the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

    A complex problem with an evidence-based solution

    More than 100,000 children in the U.S. foster care system are waiting for a safe, permanent home. But the sad reality is that thousands will “age out” of the system between 18 and 21, stepping into adulthood without support, guidance or a safety net.

    The consequences of this can be devastating. Youth who leave foster care without the support of a forever family are much more likely to experience negative outcomes, including homelessness, unemployment, substance abuse and early, unplanned parenthood.


    Through its signature program, Wendy’s Wonderful Kids®, the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption is working to be a part of the solution across the U.S. and Canada. Through this program, the Foundation supports the hiring of adoption professionals — known as recruiters — who serve children most at risk of aging out of foster care, including older children, children with special needs and siblings.

    Wendy’s Wonderful Kids recruiters use an evidence-based, child-focused model, identifying trusted adults in the child’s network who may be open to adoption — and research shows that it works. A five-year, national evaluation showed that children referred to the program are up to three times more likely to be adopted.

    Changing the journey for a new generation

    Xavier was 18 and at risk of aging out of foster care without family support when he met Joe.

    “My biggest fear was that I was going to age out and not know how to be sufficient on my own,” Xavier said. But Joe adopted Xavier just weeks before he was set to age out of the system. In the years that followed, Joe adopted from foster care again. And again.

    Today, Joe is a father to 10 sons, seven of whom were adopted with help from the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

    “Meeting my boys has put them on a different path,” Joe said. “Wendy’s Wonderful Kids was a real support and guide to being able to do what I try to do: making sure they have the tools to survive.”

    “For me, it’s been beautiful to see that [my brothers are] spreading out to go live their own lives,” Xavier said. “It’s something [Joe] has prepared us for. He gave us the mentality that we could do whatever we want.”

    Writing a new ending

    After aging out of foster care, Joe managed to defy the odds, graduating from college and becoming a school counselor. Still, despite his own success story, he knows that many children who spend time in foster care aren’t as fortunate.

    Joe hopes providing a “home base” for his sons means a brighter future for them.

    “Here, we have people you can call your family — your brothers, your father,” Joe said. “Everybody, no matter where they are, knows that they can come home.”

    Learn more about the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and how you can help find forever families for more children lingering in foster care right now.

    Learning

    Communications expert shares 3 simple tricks to stop oversharing during conversations

    Say goodbye to staring at your ceiling at 3 a.m. thinking about something embarrassing you said weeks ago.

    oversharing; oversharing tips; stop oversharing; quitting oversharing; awkward conversations; embarrassing conversations

    Communication expert says these tricks can help you stop oversharing

    People do all sorts of things when they're nervous during a conversation. Some people fidget, others avoid eye contact, and others get red and blotchy on their chest and neck. Then, there are also those who share way too much information at inappropriate times due to stress, nervousness, or simply being neurodivergent. Oversharing often results in feelings of embarrassment, which can result in more nervousness in the moment.

    A lot of oversharing is involuntary, leaving people wondering how they can save their sanity by not doing it to begin with. Jefferson Fisher, a communications expert, has the solution for people struggling with chronic oversharing. We've all been there, even if it's not something that happens frequently. There's a moment of awkward silence, and you attempt to fill it, only to tell a story better suited for a group of friends, not a work function.


    After oversharing occurs, it's often quickly followed by its best friend—overthinking. Overthinking brings along anxiety, which can drag insomnia into the mix, becoming a party of unwanted guests. But Fisher claims a few of his tricks will stop unwanted words from falling out of your mouth in no time.

    oversharing; oversharing tips; stop oversharing; quitting oversharing; awkward conversations; embarrassing conversations Friends sharing a moment in the sunlit park.Photo credit: Canva

    In the brief video uploaded to YouTube, Fisher lists how to combat the inclination to overshare:

    1. Balance the conversation

    Estimate the amount of time it took for the person you're speaking with to share information with you, then try to match the time when you share. Fisher says, "If you are taking double the amount of time that somebody used, meaning your two to their one, well then the conversation is unbalanced, and you're probably talking too much."

    oversharing; oversharing tips; stop oversharing; quitting oversharing; awkward conversations; embarrassing conversations Feeling the stress: A young woman holds her head in frustration.Photo credit: Canva

    2. Set a mental word limit

    Fisher says to avoid talking too much and subsequently oversharing, practice only using three to four sentences to say what needs to be said. This will help you avoid dominating the conversation or accidentally sharing too much information in the wrong setting. "If the other person wants to know more, well, they can ask," Fisher explains.

    3. Watch for cues

    "If you're saying too much, the other person is going to start looking disinterested," Fisher says. "They're going to look bored, they're going to have lack of contact, and that's a great place for you to just ask a question, any question. Because it forces you to stop talking."

    oversharing; oversharing tips; stop oversharing; quitting oversharing; awkward conversations; embarrassing conversations Friends sharing a laugh over coffee at a cozy café.Photo credit: Canva

    When it comes to handling the embarrassment or guilt that can come from oversharing, Happiful shares how to help alleviate the vulnerability hangover, writing, "In situations where you begin noticing that pit in your stomach of regret or embarrassment about oversharing, talk about it with the person you just opened up to. It could be as simple as acknowledging it, which can diffuse any tension you feel and resolve any awkwardness."

    Using grounding techniques like breathing exercises, the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, or doing something physical can all help alleviate the feelings that come from oversharing. Writing about your feelings in a journal or even chatting with a friend who understands your oversharing struggle can go a long way when it comes to reducing anxiety from sharing too much information.

    No matter the reason for oversharing, using the simple techniques above just might do the trick to reduce the habit.

    french, paris, france, love, romance, Eiffel Tower
    Photo Credit: https://www.canva.com/photos

    A couple embrace. The Eiffel Tower

    Leave it to the French to have the most beautiful, sexy, and sometimes non-translatable terms and phrases of endearment.

    Their association with romance makes it extra ironic that the French don't often say "I love you" (or "Je t'aime"). At least according to BBC Features Correspondent Sylvia Sabes in her 2021 article, "Why the French rarely say 'I love you."


    Sabes suggests that words this important shouldn't just be thrown around: "The French don't say 'I love you' because they don't have a verb to express heartfelt sentiments for the people they care about. There is only the verb 'aimer,' which means both 'to like' and 'to love.' As a result, a French person is not exaggerating when they conjugate 'aimer' to explain their relationship to rugby, a warm baguette, or the smell of lilacs."

    lilacs, flowers, love, amour, beauty Close up of lilac flowers. Photo by Olha Suntsova on Unsplash

    For this reason, they don't dilute the words "I love you" as often as one might think. "Naturally, then, it feels trite and rather mundane to use the same word when describing intense feelings of love for one's newborn baby, a childhood friend, or a life partner."

    She further notes that the French "show" their love. (In fact, even the very words "flattery," "chivalry," and "romantic" all stem from Old French words— flatterie, chevalerie, and romantique, respectively.)

    And this includes finding specific wording to show their romantic love. From literary geniuses like Victor Hugo to everyday romantics, here are some French quotes sure to grab (the right person's) attention:

    "Je t’envoie l’éternité dans une minute"

    Translation: I’m sending you eternity in a minute.

    For the complete context of the sentence, Victor Hugo wrote in an unpublished manuscript Lettre à Léonie Biard:
    "Je n'ai qu'un instant. Je t'envoie l'éternité dans une minute, l'infini dans un mot, tout mon cœur dans : je t'aime."

    Translation: "I only have a moment. I’m sending you eternity in a minute, infinity in a word, all my heart in: I love you."

    This was written to Léonie Thévenot d'Aunet, a woman with whom Hugo had a scandalous affair. Once they were caught, she was arrested and sent to prison.

    "Un seul être vous manque, et tout est dépeuplé"

    Translation: "Only one person is missing, and the world is depopulated (empty.)"

    On the subreddit r/French, someone asks for French "love quotes/sentences" for a letter they're writing for an anniversary. Regarding their boyfriend, they write in part, "Our 9th anniversary is coming next month and I want to write him a letter, but I want to include some cute and/or romantic quotes or sentences in French, no matter how silly or cheesy, so he can try to translate them and I watch him go happy puppy mode again hehe."

    Many came through. One suggests this line from poet Alphonse de Lamartine—meaning, "without just one person, the world feels empty."


    "Tu m'as manqué dans mes rêves"

    Translation: I missed you in my dreams.

    I learned this one in high school French class, and what I loved is our teacher taught us we could say it to anyone — romantic partners, puppies, and friends. (Probably best not to say it to our French teachers, however.)


    "Je vous aime éperdument et je vous le dis et je vous le répète, mes mots l'expriment, mes baisers le prouvent, et quand j'ai fini… je recommence."

    Translation: "I love you madly and I tell you so and I repeat it, my words express it, my kisses prove it, and when I'm done… I start over."

    While this is a rather long one to memorize, it would be an excellent quote for a love letter. Victor Hugo's phrasing was so uniquely and devastatingly romantic, I had to quote him twice. Again, he wrote this in Lettre à Léonie Biard to his lover Léonie Thévenot d'Aunet.

    "Tu me manques."

    Translation: You miss me. (Or more precisely, you are missing from me.)

    Again, I remember this expression from school. And the French-to-English translation can be a bit confusing and controversial.

    There's an entire Reddit thread dedicated to this one sentence. The OP states, "So this phrase has always blown my mind. I understand that this expression means 'I miss you,' but that it literally translates to what is essentially 'You lack me.' Correct? If so, my first question is, why is this expression set up this way?"

    Others explain the exact translation is more "You are missing from me" than "You miss me." One Redditor sums it up nicely: "The 'me' is an indirect object. Manquer is better understood here as 'to be missing' or 'lacking.' So it is more like 'you are missing/lacking/absent to me.' Your confusion is from approaching a French phrase using an English mindset."

    In whatever mindset one might find themselves, these French phrases and quotes are sure to elevate the romance. At least, worth a shot!