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I have a mental disorder. This is what happened when I tried to buy a gun.

How does buying a gun actually compare to getting psychiatric treatment? I decided to find out for myself.

It’s 7 a.m., and a police officer stops me at the gate of the only road that leads to Moon Island.

She asks me for my pass, which I scramble to retrieve from my messenger bag in the backseat of the car. Moon Island is a restricted property controlled by the city of Boston, even though it’s technically in the city of Quincy. But this is hardly the most bizarre or confusing part about my day. Because Moon Island is also the location of the Boston Police shooting range, and I’m here to take a target test so I can get my gun permit.

The officer furrows her brow as she checks my range pass, and I wonder if it’s that obvious that I’ve never actually shot a real gun before in my life.


She tells me to wait outside for 10 or 15 minutes because the range instructors don’t like it when people are early. This is the exact opposite of what the licensing officer told me when I scheduled my appointment three days earlier: "Try to arrive about 15 minutes early," she said. "The range instructors are nice guys, but they don’t like to be kept waiting."

Obviously, I’m off to a good start.

I drive across a land bridge and stand outside for a while, making small talk with some police cadets who are also there as part of their training. "You here for your permit test?" one of them says to me. "You’re the smart one." I’m not sure if this is meant as positive support for obtaining a gun permit or a joke about slogging through police academy. But it’s 7 o'clock in the morning, and I’m really not at my best.

When I finally walk inside the small classroom cabin at exactly 7:15 a.m., I make a mental note of the other people there to take the test — a white guy who looks to be in his 50s or 60s, a Hispanic guy in his 20s, and a straight white couple in their 20s or early 30s.

The instructor looks up at me, shakes his head, and says, "You’re late."

Then he hands me a bucket with 30 rounds and a .38 revolver.

Wait. Let’s back up. There’s something you should know about me before I go on about the shooting range: I have ADHD. And it has a huge effect on my life.

My brain is a massive ocean of too much information. Without my medication for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, it’s easy for me to get lost in the undertow. No matter how hard I try to fight the current, I still get overwhelmed and distracted by every strange texture I feel beneath my feet. This never goes away.

All illustrations by Kitty Curran.

And the medications that do manage to help me a little? They aren’t easy to get.

One of those is Adderall. I remember back in the spring of 2013 waiting around at CVS when a frowning pharmacist called me to the counter. Thanks to its status as a Schedule II controlled substance (such as barbiturates or opioids), there are no automatic renewals for Adderall prescriptions, and the doctor can’t call or fax one in either.

So every month, the routine goes like this: I call the doctor’s office three to five days before the end of the prescription cycle (but no sooner than 21 days since my last prescription was filled), then wait a few days for the request to get from the receptionist to the doctor. Then I travel in person to pick up the new prescription and hand-deliver it to the pharmacy.

But it doesn’t always go smoothly — like on that spring day in question. I was sitting in the CVS after I’d already gone a few days without my medicine, which made me all the more eager to get back to my "normal" functionality as soon as possible. Unfortunately, the pharmacist informed me they were out of stock and weren’t expecting another shipment for a week. D’oh.

With my prescription in hand, I biked over to another CVS, but they too were out of stock and would be for a while. This time, the pharmacist explained that the country was in the midst of a national shortage of Adderall, which had apparently been caused by some confusing collision of agendas between the Drug Enforcement Administration, the Food and Drug Administration, and big pharmaceutical companies.

So I showed up at a third CVS that day and was elated to learn they actually had the medicine!

But 10 minutes of waiting turned into 15, then 45, and I went to check if everything was OK. It wasn’t. Massachusetts law requires pharmacies to substitute generic-brand medications unless otherwise specified by the doctor. But it turned out that my insurance only covered the name-brand version of Adderall, which they couldn’t give me because my doctor had not written "no substitutions" by his signature.

"Can’t I just write 'no substitutions' by myself with a pen? How would you even know if it was the doctor or not?" I asked.

"Well, I would know now," the pharmacist said. "And that would be fraud."

She had me there.

So I got back on my bike, went back to the hospital where I’d already been once that day, and waited in line again. I explained the whole scenario as I asked the receptionist to please just write "no substitutions" on my existing prescription. Because remember: These prescriptions aren’t accepted by phone or email or fax, and they’re only allowed to write me one a month.

After some five hours and 15 miles of biking back and forth (and enough stress to kill an elephant), I got my prescription. But that was just for one month. And while this was certainly a worst-case scenario, it’s unfortunately not so far off from every other month.

If you’re wondering what my monthly quest for ADHD meds has to do with buying a gun, you’re not the only one.

On Oct. 4, 2015, I was sitting in my parents’ couch, sipping on a whiskey, while my father watched CNN's coverage of the Umpqua Community College shooting that had claimed 10 lives just a few days earlier. We had just returned from a suicide awareness walk, and I couldn’t help but cringe each time the shooter’s mental health was brought into question by the news anchors, police chief, and other pundits. At one point, a reporter even questioned the shooter’s father directly about his son’s "mental makeup" despite the fact that the man was clearly in shock and mourning.

It’s the argument made famous by Ann Coulter: "Guns don’t kill people, the mentally ill do."

But the truth is far from that. Here are the facts:

People with mental illnesses make up about 20% of the population, and they are significantly more likely to be victims than perpetrators of gun violence in the United States. And more than half of gun-related deaths in the United States are suicides.

Realistically, less than 5% of gun-related killings from 2001-2010 were perpetrated by someone with a diagnosed mental illness, according to a study published in the American Journal of Public Health in 2015. Mass shootings in particular account for less than 1% of firearm deaths, and some sources project mental illness figure into only about half of those.

I mean, it’s just kind of hard to draw any useful predictions or conclusions from those kinds of fractions.

So as I sat and listened to yet another dour cable news expert rattle on about how the 20% of Americans who are like me are basically tragic but indisputable monsters because we have psychiatric conditions, I decided I'd just about had enough of this unfounded link between mental health and gun rights. I grabbed my laptop and decided right then that I wanted to investigate this system.

Within five minutes, I’d found a listing for a Cobra 380 Derringer Big Bore pistol in Kentucky. It was hot pink and only cost $114.95. I made a burner Google phone number and email address and sent a message to the dealer that I was interested.

He called me 10 minutes later.

People with ADHD — we tend to be a little bit impulsive. So it’s a good thing I live in Massachusetts.

Gun laws vary from state to state, and — as I would eventually learn during the licensing process — this is a major factor in our nation’s gun problem. While Kentucky’s laws are very loose, for example, all online gun sales in the country must be shipped to a licensed dealer in the buyer’s home state. This meant that my little pink Saturday Night Special was going to be harder to get than I had hoped because I’d have to obtain a Massachusetts gun license first.

But it didn’t take long for me to learn that there are plenty of simple and semi-legal ways around this, too.

Most gun-control rankings consider Massachusetts to be the third-strictest state for guns in the union; by comparison, Kentucky ranks around 42nd. Massachusetts also has one of the lowest rates of gun-related deaths per capita, although it’s only fair to point out that correlation isn’t necessarily causation.

But if I was really determined to get a gun, I could have just applied for a Utah gun permit (which is available to any U.S. resident by mail for just $49 and is recognized in 36 other states) then driven an hour north to New Hampshire and purchased a rifle there. Or, I could have changed my legal residence to my in-laws' house in Vermont — I do spend enough time there, even if it is legally questionable. In both cases, I could still purchase and own a gun, even though I legally could not use it in my actual home state of Massachusetts.

This a pretty good summation of how confusing, obnoxious, and generally manipulable our country’s state-by-state gun laws are.

It's important to note that I didn’t actually want this pistol. I didn't plan to use it all. But I wanted to know if getting a gun really was as simple as they said it was, especially given the bureaucratic frustrations that I’d already lived through in my attempts to get proper mental health care. Gun control advocates and gun enthusiasts always seem to be talking past each other, and I thought that if I actually learned firsthand about how to buy a gun, I would be better able to understand the arguments on both sides of that debate and communicate with people instead of at them.

(Also, the city of Boston offers a gun buyback program that pays $200 no questions asked, and I thought it would be kind of hilarious if I could make a profit off of a cheap, crappy gun.)

As tempting as it was to try and skirt the system just to say I did it, though, I decided to go through the proper Massachusetts licensing process to see what it was like. So I signed up for the next available gun safety course in my area — which was eight miles away — and started the course 16 hours later.

That's how I ended up at a plastic folding table in a desolate warehouse just outside Boston at 9 a.m. on a dreary Saturday morning.

The bulk of this wide-open industrial space was a lobby of sorts, littered with gym mats and home exercise equipment. There was an empty glass display case to the left where inventory should have been and a few decorative firearms hanging on a section of the wall. The classroom part was sectioned off, with a few NRA posters to add pops of color to the otherwise bland drywall.

I took a seat toward the center-back, behind a friendly middle-aged couple from the nearby suburb of Tewksbury. I was genuinely impressed by the diversity of the room — seven women, including a black woman and a Hispanic woman, and 11 men, including one Asian man.

The three-hour NRA-certified class cost $100 cash, and the first half-hour consisted entirely of an instructional safety video created by someone with the National Rifle Association. Maybe it was my ADHD, which in my case, is accompanied by auditory processing problems, but it was really hard to sit still through 30 minutes of things like this:

"When a gun’s trigger is pulled, a specific sequence of events occurs. First, the firing pin strikes the primer or case rim and ignites the priming compound. The flame generated by the priming compound ignites the powder charge. The powder burns rapidly and generates a large volume of hot, high-pressure gas. At this time, the case walls expand against the walls of the chamber to form a gas seal. Finally, the high pressure gas propels the bullet out of the barrel at a high velocity."

Did your eyes gloss over? Mine did. It felt like a driver’s ed teacher explaining the combustion sequence of the engine, which might save you some money at the auto shop but isn’t necessarily going to make you a more responsible driver. It's certainly helpful to know how a gun works, but these dry and overly technical hardware explainers didn't actually teach me much.

The "safety" aspects of the video were mostly focused on gun ranges, proper home care, and storage for the firearm. And there were occasional mentions that yes, you should also be carrying it on your person at all times. According to this video, all gun-related incidents were "accidents," which were only caused by ignorance or carelessness.

So what exactly constitutes "safe pistol operation"? This was made explicitly clear:

"Knowing all the gun's safety rules is not enough to ensure safe shooting. Having a safety-oriented attitude is the most important factor in shooting safety. Thus, you should focus not only on learning the rules, but also on developing the type of attitude that ensures that you will follow them at all times."

In other words, safety is the practice of being safe, which you should do because it’s important and, thus, safe. Got it!

Oh, and there was something else about how you’re not supposed to operate a firearm under the influence of recreational drugs, prescription narcotics, depressants, or stimulants. But even with my Adderall, I was having trouble paying attention to the stale mechanical language in the video.

And there’s no way that it could be safer and legally required for me to be off my medication when shooting a gun ... right?

After the video, the instructor explained the basic local laws to us.

He was a heavy-set Italian-American man in a matched grey jumpsuit with a thick North Shore accent, and he did not hesitate to add the disclaimer that he was not a legal expert and that if anyone had any real questions about gun laws in the state of Massachusetts (which he only ever referred to as "Stupid-chusetts" and made us repeat that un-clever nickname back to him several times), they should consult a lawyer.

He explained that there are three different kinds of gun permits you can get in Massachusetts: the firearm identification card (FID), which limits the user to a rifle or a shotgun; a restricted license to carry (LTC), which allows for handguns and semiautomatics as long as they’re kept in the home or in the trunk of your car; or an unrestricted license to carry (LTC), which allows you to conceal-carry anywhere you’d like.

As for how to get each of these licenses? That’s where things get a little more complicated because it all depends on the laws of the town in which you reside, not the town you’re in when you’re carrying that gun. And when pressed on the details of what happens when, say, a Kentucky resident with a conceal-carry license shows up in Boston, the instructor just told us to repeat: "Stupid-chusetts."

For the most part, the instructor seemed to be less concerned about gun safety or etiquette than he was in helping us to not get arrested.

"You have to cover yourself," he explained. "Remember: It’s your gun. No discharging the gun within 150 feet of a home or a highway. So if you see Bambi running across the highway, you do not go over and start shooting at her. Everybody understand?"

He then reminded us that we cannot exercise our right to bear arms while in prison. In general, "exercising our right" did seem to take priority over, erm, anything else about guns.

While the instructor did insist that we do our best to follow all laws and signs that restrict us from carrying a gun with us into certain places, he also made it clear that this was stupid, even though it was the law. "Picture your kids in a classroom right now, some maniac comes through and starts shooting at everyone. There’s no such thing as shelter."

As if right on cue, he said, "The only thing that stops that guy is a gun. So they need to change that law so that teachers can start carrying guns. Everyone should be carrying a gun. If they haven’t realized that now, something’s gonna happen and they will. 'Gun free zones' do not work. They only bring the maniacs in."

Then he sighed and conceded, "But if you do see a sign that says 'no guns allowed,' it’s best to just obey the rules, OK?"

Perhaps the most interesting thing I learned that day was that it is, in fact, illegal to own a grenade launcher in the state of Massachusetts.

This is part of the reason that Massachusetts is considered such a strict state for gun owners: Even when you have obtained that license to carry, there are some extra rules about what you can and cannot own thanks to a statewide ban on "assault weapons."

Our instructor explained that the state restricts the length of your gun barrel, for example, and has an outright ban on high-capacity magazines of more than 10 bullets (which rules out anything made after September 1994, and these laws have been tightened even more since I took this class).

To be fair, there’s no clear evidence that banning semiautomatic weapons affects gun violence rates either way. In criticizing this law, the instructor did make a valid point: If someone is intent on murder, it’s not going to make much of a difference whether they have a 27-inch barrel or a 29-inch barrel.

But the rest of the class seemed particularly appalled at the idea that the government would dare impede their constitutional right to a grenade launcher. In fact, there was some brief confusion about which amendment, exactly, guaranteed our right to a grenade launcher. The instructor assured us that it was the Second.

10 weeks later, I checked off my next "gun owner" box at the Boston Police headquarters, where I swapped stories about day drinking during the Boston Marathon with an officer while she rolled my fingerprints.

That’s another fun detail about Massachusetts’ gun laws that you won’t find in most other states: You have go down to the police station and meet with an officer for an in-person background check. There’s no mandatory waiting period for this — you could feasibly show up the very next business day after you’ve taken your safety course — but since I’m a resident of Boston proper, things were booked up pretty far in advance.

One officer told me that it used to take two to four weeks to make an appointment in Boston. But ever since President Barack Obama announced his executive plan in January 2016, the phones had been running off the hook with residents who were eager to get a gun before the government took that right away from them entirely.

They said they were processing upward of 30 new LTC requests per day, and a surprising amount of them were from 21-year-old college students who were eager to accomplish this particular rite of passage. Car at 16, gun at 21 — for some people, that’s just how it goes, the officer said.

The actual interview and background check process was … fairly simple.

My small talk and banter with the licensing officer was surprisingly delightful. She explained to me that the Boston Police Department isn’t interested in preventing people from exercising their Constitutional right to bear arms. They just want to make sure that those who are armed fill a very basic and mostly objective criteria of competence and character.

What this meant was a few basic questions: Had I ever been convicted of a felony or violent crime or anything involving alcohol, narcotics, or operating under the influence? Had I been dishonorably discharged from the military, or had I ever been the subject of a court-sanctioned restraining order? Had I ever been committed to a hospital or institution for mental illness or substance abuse?

The formal part of this questioning lasted all of 15 minutes. I wrote "personal safety" on the official paperwork as my reason for obtaining an LTC, and that was good enough; no questions asked.

After the officer took my photo — and after I approved of the webcam-quality mugshot that would appear on my physical license — I asked what would happen if I had answered "yes" to any of the necessary questions. She said that some of them were dealbreakers while others simply required a written explanation and subsequent fact-checking.

I was surprised to learn that anyone who had ever been imprisoned for operating a motor vehicle while under the influence was banned for life from obtaining an LTC in Massachusetts. Felonies, restraining orders, and other situations, however, were evaluated on a case-by-case basis.

This might sound concerning, but the officer made a valid point in her explanation: People do dumb stuff all the time, and we’re all human, so you shouldn’t lose your rights just because you were a stupid high school senior who got caught with some pot or a stolen candy bar.

The only trick was, and still is, figuring out where to draw the line. Unfortunately, there's no objective criteria for what causes gun violence — and even if there was, the government wouldn't be allowed to find it. It would technically be discrimination if we didn't allow innocent people with psychiatric conditions (or disabilities or brown skin) to exercise their Constitutional rights. And it's not the job of the police to pass moral judgment on every would-be gun owner — nor should it be.

So that was that, I guess.

Then, finally, I ended up on Moon Island four days later, at the Boston Police shooting range, to try to pass a target test even though I’d never shot a gun before.

That’s the other thing Boston has that the rest of Massachusetts doesn’t: a mandatory shooting test. If I lived across the river in Cambridge — or in any of the 36 states that recognize that Utah gun license — I could legally get my hands on a firearm without ever actually touching one. But as a resident of the city of Boston, I also had to prove a bare minimum basic competency with a firearm before they’d let me buy one for myself.

At one point during my test, one of the range instructors saw me struggling to steady the .38 revolver in my hands, possibly because I had never held an actual gun in my hands before that morning. (And also I wasn’t on my Adderall because it’s illegal to operate firearms while under the influence of any kind of medication.) He walked over to me while I was reloading and offered some friendly advice. "Focus on the sight, not the target," he said. "Don’t pull the trigger, squeeze. Just breathe, relax, and keep it steady."

I did what he said — or tried to, anyway. Then I heard a loud pong come from somewhere near my target paper. "That was a pole," the instructor said. "You’re supposed to hit the target. Not the pole. And what’d my pole ever do to you?"

Oops.


That first time I took the shooting test was my first time handling a gun. 14 of my 30 bullets didn’t even hit the paper, let alone the target in the center of it.

In order to pass, you have to score a minimum of 210 out of 300 possible points on a standard target with rings for eight, nine, and 10 points. If you fail the first time, you can try again within two weeks; and if you fail the second time, you have to wait six months to try again.

They wouldn’t even tell me what I scored the first time around because it was so embarrassingly low. But they did make sure to tease me about losing to a girl — as it turned out, the only woman in our five-person group got the second-highest score.

Passive-aggressive sexist bravado aside, the test administrators were still surprisingly encouraging. They said they were confident I would pass the next time as long as I was relaxed and focused.

"We want everyone to pass, but if you can’t do it, we can’t pass you," one of them said as I left.

"And you know, if you’re close but not quite there, we’ll bump your score up for ya. We’re nice like that," said the other.

"We don’t actually do that," said the first one, with a glare.

When I returned two weeks later, I managed to score 256 points out of a possible 300, making me the highest sharpshooter on the range that day.

All I had to do was relax, take my time, keep both eyes open on the gun sights, and squeeze the trigger when I felt ready.

It might sound silly to enforce that shooting test requirement if someone like me can pass with flying colors the second time around. But I’d counter by saying that it taught me how to respect handling a firearm, which could make a difference for the hundreds of people who are killed and the tens of thousands more who are injured each year by "unintentional" firearm incidents. And frankly, that sounds a lot safer to me than letting any ol’ American walk into a gun store and leave with an M82, having never so much as ranked a high score on Duck Hunt beforehand.

As the licensing officer explained to me before I took (and re-took) the target test, only about 1% of applicants actually fail on both tries — not because of an inability to hit a target, but because they displayed dangerously questionable behaviors or attitudes on the range. If they acted like they were in a Western or a Quentin Tarantino film, for example, the officers on Moon Island would call up the licensing department and say, "That guy? No way." Even if they did ace the test.

That might be a bit subjective, but it's also a pretty low bar, so I'm totally OK with it.

So that's how I, Thom Dunn, someone with a mental disorder and who tends toward impulsiveness and distractibility, was granted a license to carry by the state of Massachusetts.

In these highly specific circumstances, a successful gun licensing process like the one in Massachusetts takes about as much time as it does to get a mental health diagnosis or to find an available therapist — about six to eight weeks if you’re lucky and up to six months if you’re not. And that’s in one of the country’s largest hubs for medical and life sciences. Most other states have fewer health care options and looser gun requirements.

And that's really the crux of it: Once you have a gun license — if your state even requires that much — you can buy a gun, and you’re good to go. $500 will get you a decent semiautomatic pistol and a box of bullets.

Mental health care, on the other hand, is an ongoing treatment. It’s not like a cold or a broken leg that mends over time. You have to keep up with prescription renewals, with therapy, and so on. You might learn to manage it over time, but it never really goes away. And when you're treated like a leper or made to feel like you're broken or weak just for seeking help — which tends to happen in this country — that only serves to make the problem worse.

I embarked on this whole journey because I was fed up with the link between guns and mental health. And now that I have a gun license, I'm still fed up with it.

Before I got my license to carry, I wasn’t a big fan of guns. And to be fair, I’m still not.

But I also have a whole new understanding of just how complicated the gun violence issue really is and how hard it is to determine who can or can't have a gun.

Blaming violence on neurological conditions like ADHD or schizophrenia or bipolar disorder is about as ridiculous as saying, "It's not guns! It's Fridays!" Sure, there's been some overlap, but not enough for us to make any useful conclusions about it. People with mental illnesses are fully capable of leading happy, healthy lives, and their decision-making processes aren’t necessarily affected by their conditions. (And if they are, it doesn't usually manifest as flying fits of violent rage.)

But the question still stands: How do we stop guns from getting in the hands of would-be killers?

After learning how to handle a gun, I am more comfortable with their general existence, and I’m glad to have had the chance to speak with normal, rational human gun owners who, like me, were concerned about safety. Perhaps I shouldn't be so surprised by that last part — after all, 74% of NRA members agree on the need for stronger universal background checks.

But to fix this, we can't punish or restrict innocent people before they've ever committed a crime. What we can do instead is the bare minimum due diligence in making sure that those who do have access to guns are of sound physical and mental condition — regardless of whether they have a psychiatric condition.

I actually think that a system like the one in Massachusetts could be a good place to start for that, but I'm open to a dialogue.

(There's also that issue of states' rights, which enable people to legally obtain illegal firearms just by driving to another state, but that's a whole huge conversation in and of itself to table for another time.)

As much as we like to think of ourselves as rational beings, research shows that our personal perceptions color the way we look at the world — for better and for worse.

Unfortunately, our public discourse about guns tends to revolve around mass shootings, which only make up a fraction of the overall gun deaths in the country. Often, we ignore the evidence to the contrary and convince ourselves instead that anyone who kills another person has to be mentally ill. But "being a murderer" is not the same as having a mental illness.

These fears and perceptions are why some people do actually feel safer with a gun despite the mounting evidence to the contrary.

They're why we talk about "criminals" and "bad guys" with guns like they're a faceless, monolithic evil. They're why attempted suicide is a felony in some states but killing someone based on a subjective claim of self-defense is legal in others.

And they're why we keep wrongly equating gun violence with mental illness.

It sounds strange, but these perceptions are a natural part of "healthy" human brain function. However, they also contribute more to our continued gun problem than mental illness ever will because they prevent us from having a productive conversation.

Perhaps the biggest roadblocks in addressing our nation's problem with gun violence, then, are fear and a lack of empathy — on every side of every argument.

As we've seen throughout history, one bullet has the power to change the world.

But so does a single idea. And it all comes down to the difference between those two things.

Bullets are made for destruction, even when they're used in self-defense. But ideas can be used to create. And I think that's a much more powerful thing.

There's a lot of complicated ground to address around guns in America. But it all boils down to the fact that violence only ever begets violence. If we want to live in a safer, saner world, then we need to stop exchanging bullets and start exchanging our ideas instead.

Pop Culture

All In: 5 Ways This Week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples we found this week across the internet.

True

When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture an elaborately-themed birthday party for a dog, or maybe a person giving a detailed presentation on why she's "Team Conrad." (IYKYK) Or maybe you picture a woman who takes up running, showing up every day to push herself and completely changing her body and her mindset in the process. Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Someone who does something with 100 percent total commitment. Going “all in” means giving your all—going completely over the top, no second guessing, no holding back. Just full-throttle enthusiasm, with some flair and creativity thrown in. And when people go “all in,” something truly special usually happens as a result.


The internet abounds with examples of people giving it their all—whatever it is. In this roundup, we’ve found the very best examples of people going “all in”—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Some are sentimental, some are silly, but all of them are a reminder that giving 100 percent is truly the only way to leave a mark on this world. Get ready: These folks didn’t just show up, they went all in.

1. This unbelievable high note 

@sarahhardwigofficial Alone by #heart at #crosseyedcritters on @Joe Noto ‘s last night! Thanks for everything #karaoke #80smusic #fyp ♬ original sound - sarahhardwigofficial

Most of us music enthusiasts can agree that the song “Alone” by the American rock band Heart is one of the most passionate (and technically challenging) songs you can ever sing. It’s so challenging, in fact, that only singers with really incredible range—Celine Dion, for example, or vocal powerhouse Kelly Clarkson— dare to take it on. (If you don’t know the song by name, listen to any one of these clips and you’ll recognize it after a second or two.) So imagine our surprise, scrolling through TikTok, when we see a young singer covering “Alone” and dropping the high note so casually it looks like she sang this song out of pure spite. You almost can’t believe what you’re hearing—but it’s real. And the comments section is full of people who are completely gobsmacked (including a producer from American Idol). We just know we’re going to see this girl on stage again soon.

The ultimate healthy food collab

You already know our friends at All In—they’ve got some seriously tasty snacks that are not only healthy and affordable (scroll to the bottom of this article to see how you can snag a free box), they help fund food banks, gardens, community fridges, meal programs, and other amazing things. Lately, they’ve managed to take their awesomeness up a notch by teaming up with Fresh Truck, a weekly mobile market that brings fresh and affordable produce to neighborhoods in the Boston area. Fresh truck hosts weekly markets, pop-up events, and an online storefront, all to help strengthen communities who need it the most. They’re going all in on local nutrition and food access, and we’re here for it.

This fairy-themed proposal 

@kaylasuttons My sister's suprise fairy themed proposal was a huge success! Glad I could help organize it 💜🧚🏾‍♀️ @Halfcourt @Sway with Samone #fairycore #proposal #engaged #2027bride #BlackTikTok ♬ Ordinary (Wedding Version) - Alex Warren

Marriage is kind of the ultimate example of going “all in.” Think about it—you’re committing the rest of your life to someone til death do you part. That’s why when someone plans a super outrageous proposal, like the one you’re about to watch, that just makes everything all the more special. In this video, creator Kayla Sutton recorded her sister’s surprise wedding proposal, a fairy-themed event that the groom had been planning (according to a separate storytime video) since March of this year. He enlisted family and friends, decorated the venue, supplied food, and had the guests wear fairy-themed costumes, complete with elven ears, for the big moment. Now that’s dedication. Kudos to this dude—he went all out with the proposal in order to go “all in” on their relationship. (And she said “yes,” by the way!)

This "deeply personal" wedding tribute

Okay, not to make this entire article all about weddings, but this is a truly meaningful example of someone going “all in.” Content creator Kristin Marino (now Kristin Schnacky) got married in New York City last week and got, in her words, a surprise that made her bawl her eyes out: Several current and former members of the New York City Fire Department (FDNY) who showed up to honor her late father, a former firefighter who was killed in the line of duty during the September 11th terrorist attacks. The firefighters from Station One (the same firehouse where Marino’s father worked) transported Marino in a firetruck from the Plaza Hotel where she was staying to her wedding venue, where her soon-to-be-husband was waiting at the altar. “It truly was symbolism of my dad walking me down the aisle,” Marino shared. “I know it’s exactly how [my dad] would [have] wanted it.” We’re not crying, you’re crying.

Cat Town 

We can’t tell you why this thing exists, only that it does, and that it’s so elaborate, so detailed, and so expertly created we’re having a hard time even wrapping our heads around it. Here goes: Xing is a Chinese content creator who has spent the past several years creating (and documenting the creation of) an elaborate habitat for his pet cats, called Cat Town. We’re not talking about a room filled with toys and scratching posts, by the way: Xing has actually made a complete functioning replica of a human city, scaled down to accommodate cats. Cat Town has a working subway station, a supermarket, a theatre, and a restaurant (named MeowDonalds). Just…wow. And nicely done. Talk about a passion project.

Snag your free (!!) snack bars here while this deal lasts. Simply sign up with your phone number, pick two boxes of any flavor of All In bars at Sprouts, and then text a picture of your receipt through Aisle. They’ll Venmo or PayPal you back for the cost of one box. Enjoy!

Internet

Harvard linguist explains perfectly logical reason Boomers insist on using ellipses in texts

Once you understand this, texting with your mom will get a lot easier.

Linguist explains simple reason Boomers use ellipses in texts all the time

One generation's texting habit that baffles every generation is the Boomers' seemingly excessive use of ellipses. Do you have more to say, Aunt Judy, or did you just accidentally press the period key too many times? Maybe it's for a dramatic pause or to put emphasis on a point? This is truly a mystery that leaves every generation below them confused about what is meant by the dreaded "dot dot dot."

Texting etiquette differs with every generation. Gen X and most Millennials use fairly proper grammar and punctuation throughout a text message exchange. Every new sentence starts with a capital letter, there are strategically placed Oxford commas to ensure there's little room for misunderstandings, and sentences end with an appropriate punctuation mark.

linguist; boomers; gen x; millennials; gen z; text etiquette; boomer texting; gen z slang Joyful moments captured: A cheerful day out!Photo credit: Canva

When it comes to Gen Z, they find that ending text messages with proper punctuation indicates that the person they're texting is being passive-aggressive. They also text in shorthand and emojis that can feel a bit like you need a special decoder ring to decipher the messages. But texting in an encrypted way can be chalked up to youth, though the same can't be said when it comes to Boomers. Or can it?

Harvard linguist and author of the book Algospeak, Adam Aleksic, breaks down why so many Boomers use ellipses when texting. It's surprisingly not as complicated or dramatic as one may imagine. In a viral video posted last year on TikTok, Aleksic explains his theory for the texting etiquette of Boomers.

linguist; boomers; gen x; millennials; gen z; text etiquette; boomer texting; gen z slang Two generations connecting through their smartphones.Photo credit: Canva

"You know how older people tend to use the 'Boomer ellipses' whenever they're texting? There's always a random 'dot dot dot' in the middle of their messages?" Aleksic asks. "Well, that's because they grew up following different rules for informal communication. Nowadays, if you want to separate an idea, you just press enter and start a new line with a new thought, but it made less sense to do that for writing postcards or letters, where you had to save space, so people back in the day learned to separate thoughts by using ellipses."

Aleksic explains that this is also true for when phones first started allowing text messaging. You were charged by the message, so ellipses made it more efficient to convey all the thoughts in one message instead of multiple ones. SMS texting also had a character limit, unlike current phones, where you can essentially write a novella in a single message without your phone automatically breaking it up.

Today's texting standards typically mean people separate their thoughts by sending multiple messages for separate thoughts, though that annoys some people. If separating thoughts means you'll be sending no less than five texts in quick succession, it's likely best to just space down to make the text longer, rather than bombarding an unsuspecting friend.

When it comes down to it, younger generations have adapted to the new standard, embracing the unlimited text option, while Boomers haven't. Due to this discrepancy in text etiquette, the ellipses used by Boomers throw people for a loop.

linguist; boomers; gen x; millennials; gen z; text etiquette; boomer texting; gen z slang Elderly man working.Photo credit: Canva

"That means the Boomer ellipses became redundant, which is why they cause confusion today. They violate what we call 'the maximum quantity;' they add more information than necessary, so they appear to imply something more than the intended meaning. Most of the time, that comes off to younger people as hesitation, annoyance, or passive aggressiveness because that's how we use the ellipses," the linguist shares.

So, no, your grandma isn't mad at you or avoiding telling you something; according to Aleksic, she's just trying to send you multiple messages in one. There's no hidden emotion behind the ellipses for Boomers; it's simply a habit left over from their younger years.

Image via Canva/Africa Images

This is how often you should be washing your reusable water bottle.

Staying hydrated has never been easier thanks to reusable water bottles. But one of the biggest downsides to using water bottles is having to wash them. And if we're honest, most of us probably go *way too long* between uses before giving them a deep cleaning.

You may be curious about how often you should be washing your water bottle—and the possible negative health effects that can happen if you neglect to. Unfortunately, if you simply rinse and re-fill without thoroughly washing with soap and water—it's not cutting it.

"Wash it with soap and warm water at least every other day," says Dr. Shanina C. Knighton, PhD, RN, CIC, Research Associate Professor, Frances Payne Bolton School of Nursing at Case Western Reserve University. She adds that if you drink anything beyond just plain water—such as adding lemon to water, adding flavor to it, protein drinks or coffee--then your water bottle should be washed immediately and daily.

"Sugar loves yeast, mold, and bacteria and when water bottles are left with fluids sitting in them for days odors can occur," says Dr. Knighton.

Your water bottle can quickly become a petri dish as bacteria settles in, forming a biofilm (a slimy film or thin coating of germs). "This biofilm protects bacteria from casual rinsing, which is why that weird taste and smell develops even when you are 'just using water' to clean it out," she adds.

Failing to properly wash your water bottle can lead to sickness as bacteria continues to grow and comes in contact with your mouth. "Unwashed bottles can harbor dangerous bacteria, including E. coli, Salmonella and Staphylococcus. Mold and yeast can accumulate in bottles that are stored while damp."

Dr. Knighton adds that an upset stomach (nausea, vomiting and diarrhea) or food poisoning symptoms can stem from a dirty water bottle. "We know the impact of mold are attached to respiratory issues. Even something such as a rash around the mouth or skin infection can occur," she says.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

How to wash your water bottle

Warm water is best to clean your water bottle—and washing with cold water is not recommended. "Cold water does not break down bacteria or any oils and residues that may be in bottles," says Dr. Knighton. "If the water is too hot, excessive heat can damage plastic or can weaken rubber water seals."

You should also be hand-washing your water bottles. "I do not recommend harsh chemicals and the use of a dishwasher for water bottles. Given the depth of water bottles adequate cleaning may happen best if by hand," adds Dr. Knighton. "I always suggest to check the manufacturer's suggestions for cleaning."

water bottle, stanley cup, water bottles, reusable water bottle, how to clean water bottle Dakota Johnson Snl GIF by Saturday Night Live Giphy

To properly wash your water bottle, you can also use vinegar instead of soap:

  1. Fill your bottle halfway with white vinegar, top with warm water and let it sit for about 30 minutes.
    "It can help with any bacteria or crusty build ups that may be hard to reach inside of bottles," says Dr. Knighton.
    She also suggests investing in a bottle brush to help you get to areas that are hard to reach with a sponge or dish towel, such as straws, lids or mouthpieces.
  2. Always allow your bottles to adequately dry before putting the caps back on.
    "Hang them upside down on a rack where they are not touching the surface," says Dr. Knighton. "If you put the tops back on them before allowing them to dry you are trapping moisture, which can become a breeding ground for germs."

Finally, Dr. Knighton recommends that you replace your water bottles if you see any mold spots or if the rubber seals become worn down or hard to clean.

Happy hydrating!

Joy

Someone asked what's the 'most Gen X thing' ever and the responses were awesome

"Hanging by the Blockbuster door to see if any good movies were returned."

A swatch watch, Blockbuster video, and pack of Garbage Pail Kids cards.

Every generation has collective experiences in its youth that help define it. Baby Boomers (1946 to 1964) had the Kennedy assassination, the Vietnam War, and the Moon landing. Millennials (1981 to 1996) lived through 9/11, the Great Recession, and the social media revolution. What about Gen X (1965 to 1980)? In their youth, they experienced the fall of the Soviet Union, the rise of pop culture in the ‘80s, and Kurt Cobain’s suicide.

Gen Xers were also born in an in-between era after women entered the workforce and before the advent of helicopter parenting. They fell through the cracks and were often left on their own. That’s a big reason why they have a reputation for being resourceful and independent. They are also known to be a bit cynical and sarcastic, a trait that comes from the economic and social tumult they experienced as children.


The generation also occupies an interesting point in history where many Gen Xers had analog childhoods and digital adulthoods. This gives them an interesting perspective on the role that technology should have in our lives and a nostalgia for long summer days riding bikes without a phone in sight and staying outside until the street lights came on.

But what were some other Gen X experiences that other generations may not understand? A Reddit user asked the Gen X forum, “What’s THE most Gen X thing?” and over 5,000 people responded with memories of their childhoods that helped to define them.

15 of the ‘most Gen X’ things people have ever experienced

1. Whatever

"Whatever."

"I’m 46 and will take my jaded apathy to the grave, thank you very much. Now everybody leave alone cause everything sucks."

2. Taping songs off the radio

"I'm just on that border between Gen X and the oldest Millennials, but my sister is 8 years older than me. We would call the local rock station to request a song, then sit there with a tape at the ready to hit record as soon as they played our song. Repeat that about 10x and you've got a nice mixtape."

"I spent months making a tape that had 'I Will Always Love You' by Whitney Houston on repeat (both sides) and gave it to my stepsister as a gift. She listened to the whole thing, hoping for a different song. Cause she hated that one."

3. Arcades

"Video arcade. Before Gen-X, graphics weren’t good enough, and after Gen X, you’d play the games on your own home console. No other generation claimed them like we did."

"I remember being indignant when the first 50-cent games came out. What, you think I'm MADE OF MONEY?"


4. Being forgotten

"Never getting mentioned in the news. It always goes from Gen Z to millennials to boomers."

"My sister watched a video that was supposed to be about every generation from the greatest generation through Gen Z, and they left out Gen X. Just skipped right over that time period."

This is in reference to a news story that CBS News ran in 2019 about Millennials being the "burnout generation," where they put up a graphic of every generation from Silent to post-Millennials, now known as Gen Z, but they forgot to include Gen X. It was a perfect example of how Gen Xers have been ignored for years.



5. Music videos

"Watching MTV Headbangers Ball Saturday morning, ready to record on the VHS when my favourite bands came on."

"Yes, 120 Minutes- but also, Yo! MTV Raps."

6. Swatch watches

"With the rubber guard on the face."

"Swatch Guard, to keep you from telling time on the face with no numbers, of course. Yes, I had both at 14 in 1985."

7. CD cases

"Massive CD collections neatly stored in binders for easy access."

"Claiming shotgun in the car so you had access to the binder and could play DJ for the night."

8. Last generation to live without the internet

"Being old enough to remember (and appreciate) life before the Internet and cellphones but being young enough to transition into that world without a hitch."

"Old enough to remember life before the ubiquity of the internet (and computers to a lesser extent), yet young enough to still be able to understand newer tech like modern smartphones and computers."

9. The Young Ones

The Young Ones was a British comedy TV show that ran from 1982 to 1984, about four very different university students who each represented a different clique. There was Vyvyan the punk rocker, Neil the hippie, Mike the "cool guy," and Rick, the Mod-socialist. The show mixed gross-out comedy, surrealism, and political satire, and was a cultural phenomenon in England that became a cult classic in 1985 when it debuted on MTV.


10. Being unreachable

"Being the last unreachable generation. There were hours where no one knew where we were and our parents had zero way to contact us."

"Be home before the street lights are on."

11. Garbage Pail Kids

"I bought a pack once, and my mom thought they were Cabbage Patch Kid cards. When she saw them, she made me return them to the store!"


12. Blockbuster on a Friday night

"Hanging by the door to see if any good movies were just returned."

"Checking your answering machine messages to see if the video store called to say the movie you wanted was in."

13. Trapper Keepers

"I loved my Trapper Keeper. Everything fit in there, didn't need a bookbag."

14. Hypercolor shirts

"I sell the sh*t out of hypercolor shirts in my vintage store. I’m the only one who actually knows to look for them. The younger set is completely amazed by vintage hyper color."

15. Payphone scams

"Using a payphone to make a collect call with the intent of the call being declined. It's a messaging system that notifies your ride that you're ready to be picked up from the movies, where you watched Back to the Future. Or from the arcade where you just blew a roll of quarters on Super Mario Bros."

"Calling your out-of-town friend collect from a payphone to another payphone to avoid long-distance charges. Successfully did this with an overseas boyfriend, too."

"We used to call the payphone on the corner by 7-11 just to see who would answer."

@bambi.jerrythepanda/Instagram

May we all feel this level of confidence at least once in our lives.

Cat owners can tell you that on any given day, felines perform a symphony of gentle purrs, pleading mews, alien-like chirps…all of which play like music to our ears. Okay, maybe not all, but most.

If you’re in the mood for some of the best kitty ASMR ever, look no further than Bambi, the feisty feline “diva” who got mic’d up for the day (thanks to her mom Emily) and didn't hesitate to step into the spotlight.

In a now-viral video with the caption, “Warning: sass levels dangerously high 🎤💅🏼,” viewers got up close and personal not only with the cat sounds you might expect (including some hissing and growling at the foster kitty named Walter, who Bambi hasn’t quite taken to yet), but also Bambi’s signature stomp, stomp, stomp. Dear God, it’s adorable.

Watch:

Bambi was quickly dubbed the “professional upstairs neighbor," referring to an Internet meme that often uses the phrase sarcastically to describe a lead-footed person living above, and got a lot of praise for her main character stomps.

“She’s got places to be,” joked one viewer.

Another wrote, “that stompy walk is model material."”

Still another pleaded, “A two hour long ASMR video of this so that I can listen to it when I’m stressed? Please?”

That stomp is more than just Bambi having a flair for the dramatic—it’s a symptom of Cerebellar Hypoplasia (CH), also known as wobbly cat syndrome. CH happens most often when mamma cats contract the Panleukopenia virus while pregnant, then pass it to their offspring, leaving the part of their brain that governs balance and coordination underdeveloped. The result can be jerky movement, tremors, or, as in Bambi’s case, stompy walks.

@bambi.jerrythepanda We’ve had a lot of new followers lately and tons of questions about why Bambi stomps. CH (Cerebellar Hypoplasia) is a neurological condition she was born with. It affects her balance, so she walks like she means business. It doesn’t cause her any pain. She can’t jump up to high places like other cats can. But she’s learned her own way of getting around, and she does it with confidence. She’s sassy, wobbly, and totally unbothered. You'll also see here Jerry our goodest boy and total mama’s boy. And Bella, the queen of the house at 16 years old. #BambiStomps #CHCat #SpecialNeedsCat #CatCrew #QueenBella #SweetJerry #WobblyCat ♬ original sound - bambi.jerrythepanda

While many might think this condition involves pain or a low quality of life, Bethany Hsia, Doctor of Veterinary Medicine and Co-Founder at CodaPet, tells Upworthy that their unique neurological makeup often makes them “happy and affectionate pets” that can “thrive” when pet parents give them a safe environment, such as providing low-sided litter boxes, elevated food and water bowls, soft surfaces to cushion falls, and keep them indoors is crucial to prevent accidents.

Similarly, pet expert and CEO/Founder at Boxiecat Josh Wiesenfeld notes that besides their "peculiar gait,” most CH cats are “otherwise very healthy,” and so long as pet owners provide a bit of safety measures, can live just as long as regular cats.

“In fact, their willfulness and tenacity make them very endearing friends, and many owners comment that their CH cat's personality contributes to their lives in special ways,” he says.

Bambi herself seems to be proof of that. It’s certainly done nothing to quell her cat-titude. And people wouldn’t have it any other way. She currently boasts a following of 246,000 on Instagram, and even recently launched her own plushie! That’s how you know you’ve made it to the big time.

@bambi.jerrythepanda Diva mode: ON 💅🏼 Only a week left to purchase your limited edition Bambi Plushie! Check my bio for the link to purchase! #DivaMode #CatwalkQueen #Bambi #StompyCat #LimitedEdition #PlushieDrop #PetInfluencer #BambiPlushie #BambiSass #ItGirl #catwalk #ChCat ♬ My Addiction - Alex Guesta

Keep stomping, queen.

Gen Z couple learns what they need to make to have Boomer buying power

Buying a home is a big financial commitment. The cost of housing has increased to astronomical levels, so much so that years of saving, planning, and settling for less than you'd like are the only ways to achieve the dream of owning a home. Maybe. But this wasn't always the case. Boomers were once able to afford buying a home on much less income. Maybe not minimum wage, but even minimum wage earners had significantly more buying power then than they do now.

One Gen Z couple did the math on how much minimum wage would need to be in 2025 to have the same buying power, and the figure is staggering. In the late '60s through mid-70s, when many Boomers were purchasing their own homes, minimum wage was just $1.60, before it was raised to $2.10 in 1975.

Gen Z; Boomers; Millennials; housing prices; housing markets; boomers buying power; Gen Z home buying "Celebrating their new home with joy and a smile!"Photo credit: Canva

Nikki and her partner Derek reveal that in order to equal the purchasing power of Boomers, the minimum wage would need to be $66 per hour. The couple is hoping to buy a home in the future, which got their wheels turning on how the current wages compare to the wages Boomers were making. But with a number like that, the only logical thing to do was laugh. It's almost hard to believe that if wages kept up with inflation, minimum wage would be over $50/hour for reasonable—not even fancy—accommodations.

A lot of people joined in on their nervous laughter and shock, with one person saying, "I don’t even make $66 an hour with a master's degree in a healthcare field."

@iarbosss MIND YOU the federal minimum wage is currently $7.25/hour. #boomers #genz #minimumwage #economy ♬ original sound - Nikki

Another writes, "That minimum wage converted to an annual salary is $137k btw lmao. Boomers had it so easy."

"My Boomer father said to me (a millennial) the other day 'did you know your son's generation will be the first that will be worse off than their parents?' I said 'no, Dad. That's me. That's MY generation' He was SO close...." someone else shares.

"My grandpa worked 60 hour weeks for ONE SUMMER and bought a whole house with it," another person exclaims.

Gen Z; Boomers; Millennials; housing prices; housing markets; boomers buying power; Gen Z home buying Family moving day: New beginnings and smiles.Photo credit: Canva

This financial discrepancy is something Boomers struggle to admit. According to Detroit Legal News, "The majority of baby boomers—those born between 1946 and 1964—believe younger generations simply aren’t doing everything they can to afford a home." They added, "In the Clever study, baby boomers cited several reasons they believe younger generations can’t afford homes, but most blame irresponsible spending. About 71% said young adults spend more on frivolous things like travel and luxury items rather than saving for a down payment."

Boomers seem to have a skewed view of what's happening with younger generations and their spending. A 2023 Bank of America report shows that while Boomers increased their spending on vacations and other luxuries, younger generations pulled back due to student loans and housing prices.

Gen Z; Boomers; Millennials; housing prices; housing markets; boomers buying power; Gen Z home buying Couple smiles in front of their new home.Photo credit: Canva

"Millennials and Gen X hold about 87% of the country’s student loan debt, which tops $1.63 trillion. In addition, 72% of those aged 44 and younger live in rental properties and saw their rent increase for the fifth straight month in August," Detroit Legal News reveals.

Actor Chris Marrone shares his own video on Instagram, reaching the same conclusion as Nikki and Derek. He explains to BuzzFeed that the purpose wasn't to suggest Boomers could buy a home on minimum wage, but to show the stagnant wages.

"Wages have decoupled from cost of living, housing prices, and broader economic growth over the last few decades. The original purpose of the minimum wage was to ensure that even low-wage workers could participate meaningfully in the economy. Not just survive, but live with dignity," Marrone tells the outlet.