Is it always best to be honest with friends?
A big parenting trend over the past few decades is people giving their children names that help them stand out instead of fit in. Social scientists say that a big reason for the change in America is the rise of individualism.
“As American culture has become more individualistic, parents have favored giving children names that help them stand out—and that means more unique names and fewer common names,” Jean Twenge, a San Diego State University psychology professor, told the BBC.
However, being an individualist comes with some risks. One can be an iconoclastic trendsetter or seen as desperate, inauthentic and cringeworthy.
The move towards unique names has caused controversy in families, especially among the parents-to-be and their in-laws. But, as you’ll see in this story, it can cause problems among friends, too.
A Reddit user who was once known as Shayleigh recently shared her conflict with a friend on the AITA forum to see whether she was in the right.
Friends fight over baby names.
“One of my friends found out she was pregnant a few months ago, and she's really excited to be a mother. I'm happy for her and think she'd make a good mom, but there's one problem; she wants her baby's name to be unique and special, but the way she's going about it is terrible,” she wrote.
“What I mean is, the name she plans on using is godawful. If it's a boy, she's going to name him ‘Daynger’ (yes, spelled like that to be unique), and if it's a girl, she's going to name her ‘Tinkerbelle,’” she continued.
This woman not only wanted to be unique by naming her child after a Disney character, but she combined the names of two characters, Tinkerbell from “Peter Pan” and Belle from “Beauty and the Beast.”
The woman formerly known as Shayleigh leveled with her friend, saying her child would get bullied if they were named Daynger or Tinkerbelle. The former Shayleigh wasn’t just a wet blanket, she knew what it was like first-hand to have a unique name. After all, she was bullied for being named Shayleigh by being called “Gayleigh.” She was also the victim of her parents using the “leigh” for “ly” naming convention, which many see as cringeworthy. Her name caused her so much stress that at 19, she had it changed.
According to Stop Bullying, being targeted by bullies can cause anxiety and depression and the effects can lead into adulthood.
The honest remark led to a falling out among the friends.
“She got really upset and told me I was being unsupportive and I was a shi**y friend,” the woman formerly known as Shayleigh wrote. “She's been ignoring my texts ever since, and it's been more than a week. I'm starting to feel kind of guilty over what I said.”
The commenters on the post overwhelmingly supported the poster for being honest with her friend.
"A baby’s name should work for them from birth to school to career to retirement. She’s only thinking of how cute a baby Daynger/Tinkerbelle would be and not thinking of how much her tween will hate her for that name," Regular-Switch454 wrote. "She needs a reality check. She’s naming adults here. Those names won’t set her kids up for their best shot at life and she needs to accept that," Thoughtinspace added.
The good news was that the friends eventually reconciled and had a long talk about the woman’s baby name ideas.
‘“I carefully brought up some of your points, and suggested using the name "Belle’ for a girl, with ‘Tinkerbelle’ as a nickname; she thinks it's cute and liked the idea,” the woman formerly known as Shayleigh wrote. “She did decide to use ‘Daynger’ (still spelled like that) as a middle name, which isn't nearly as bad as using it for a first name. On the bright side, the kid can tell people, ‘Danger is my middle name.’”
- Teacher mispronounces every student's name to get a laugh, but it also serves a bigger purpose ›
- Wife says husband's last name is so awful she can't give it to her ... ›
- Husband asks the world for help after fallout from wife's secret choice of 'horrible' baby name ›
- Top 10 baby names for girls and boys in 2023 - Upworthy ›
- Woman shares family 'unhinge' reaction to baby's name - Upworthy ›
- Family calls mother-to-be's baby name 'abusive' - Upworthy ›
- Dad intervenes after daughter chooses 'nightmare' baby name - Upworthy ›
- Father balks after wife's 'common' baby name suggestion - Upworthy ›
- 17 sibling names that made people wonder what their parents were thinking - Upworthy ›
Beaver in water. Photo by 
An actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price River
A tired woman relaxing in a chair.via 
A tired woman laying on the couch.via 
Simpsons Gif
Aging happens in bursts, scientists find.
Research shows the body goes through specific changes in our 40s and 60s.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."