'We're naming a child, not a dog': Man fights with wife over naming baby 'Zoomer'
Has the unusual baby name trend gone too far or is he stuck in the past?
A couple arguing over what to name their baby
Over the past decade or so, there has been a trend of parents choosing to give their children unique names. “We are deep in an era of naming individuality, where parents assume that having a [name] sound distinctive and unique is a virtue,” Laura Wattenberg, the founder of the naming-trends site Namerology, told The Atlantic.
There are multiple reasons for this change in American culture. One is that people have fewer children, so their uniqueness has become more important for parents. Another is that baby name data has pushed parents to go to further lengths to come up with names that won’t make them the third John or second Maria in a classroom.
The internet has also played a role in the change. People with unique names stand out online. Good luck if you’re looking on Facebook for a former classmate named Matt Smith.
Joe Pinsker at The Atlantic also points out that picking a unique name has become a trend, so it has become a type of conformity. “Trying not to be like everyone else makes you just like everyone else,” Pinsker wrote.
The unique name trend has also caused friction among parents. A father-to-be who goes by the name Aaronsaway on Reddit asked the AITA forum whether he was in the wrong for being “rude” to his wife for shooting down her unique baby names.
The boy’s name that caused the most drama was Zoomer.
“My wife and I are expecting our first child in the coming months and we have chosen not to find out the sex until the baby is born. Things are starting to feel very real now so we’ve started to properly discuss names, but we’ve realized we both have vastly different tastes in name style and we are having a hard time finding the right one,” Aaronsaway wrote.
He says that his wife likes unique names that he finds “tacky and silly,” while he prefers “traditional names.”
“Last night she showed me a short list she had put together and thought I might like. The names on the list were:
Girl: Fern, Fennix, Rhodes, Faun, Brixtyn, and Kinley
Boy: Spark, Diesel, Quincy, Phoenix, Buck, and Fox”
Aaronsaway countered by suggesting some traditional versions of the names she chose.
But Aaronsaway finally snapped when his wife suggested Zoomer for a boy.
“I asked if she was serious and said it was a stupid name. She asked what my problem was and why I was so dismissive of all her ideas and shooting down all the names she likes. I told her we were naming a child and not a dog, and that names can have a huge impact on the child,” Aaronsaway wrote. “I said I don’t want my child to be bullied or taken less seriously because they have a ridiculous name. She told me I was rude and that I was the bully for making her feel unsupported.”
The wife started crying and went to bed.
So, is the dad-to-be right in dismissing his wife’s unique suggestions or should he get with the times and give his child a one-of-a-kind name?
The commenters overwhelmingly supported Aaronsaway.
The most popular comment came from AsOne8433, who wrote: "So many people naming their kids like a 9-year-old naming a goldfish or a valley girl naming a pocket dog. Unfortunately, it indicates that the parent considering these names does not see the child as a person, but a thing, an amusing accessory to show all her fans how cool she is."
Willing-Helicopter26 agreed.
"I definitely feel like you should discuss names you like and consider a more unique middle name, but ultimately this IS a person not a pet," they wrote. "Lots of these names are more appropriate for pets. Your wife needs to be a bit more grounded in her selections. Fern isn't bad. Quincy isn't terrible, either. But please don't name your kid Zoomer."
The few dissenters didn’t like the way he talked to his wife.
“You're allowed to not like her name choices, and she's allowed to not like yours. You're allowed to veto one another—but not to be mean to each other,” NightOwlEye wrote.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.