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Shows like 'Euphoria' are uncomfortable to watch. But they teach us empathy.

euphoria, hbo
Screenshot from HBO

Euphoria's Rue, played by Zendaya.

"Euphoria" is without question a heavy show. The teenagers at Euphoria High deal with abusive relationships, drug addiction, mental illness and the dark side of sexuality. There’s not one episode that feels comfortable. When I think of “easy viewing,” this is certainly not it.

The show has received a lot of backlash for its content, with critics claiming that it glorifies and glamorizes toxic behavior. Following "Euphoria"’s second season, D.A.R.E. issued a statement to TMZ saying "It is unfortunate that HBO, social media, television program reviewers, and paid advertising have chosen to refer to the show as 'groundbreaking,' rather than recognizing the potential negative consequences on school age children who today face unparalleled risks and mental health challenges.”

Though I understand the concern, I do not agree. I think "Euphoria," and shows like it, can be vital viewing. They’re painful, intense and hard to watch. And that’s exactly why we need them, if we ever aspire to strengthen our compassion for those dealing with issues that often lurk under the surface.

As the central character Rue (played by Zendaya) struggles to gain control of her life, we feel her loneliness, her yearning, her despair … all of it. This is in part thanks to emotional empathy, a term coined by psychologists Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman, meaning to “feel physically along with the other person, as though their emotions were contagious.” When we engage in emotional empathy, we activate mirror neurons, the cells of the brain that fire up both when we perform an act and when we observe an act.

zendaya dareGiphy

Think about the excitement you feel when your favorite team scores a winning goal, or seeing a stranger stub their toe and suppressing the urge to yell “ouch!” Though you are not experiencing a situation on the outside, you are definitely experiencing it on the inside. Compare this to cognitive empathy, which refers to “simply knowing how the other person feels,” which keeps things intellectual, abstract, distant.

Television impacts our culture with emotional empathy. Watching TV can be a visceral experience: We get invested in the outcomes of characters’ decisions, relate to them, seeing the world differently as a result. Quite often we feel what a character feels, without ever having lived a similar experience. "Euphoria" harnesses the power of story beautifully in this way. It’s incredibly painful to watch, but so is addiction. And I think we owe it to those going through it to witness their inner battles. We’ve already seen the importance of representation, after all.

 

Zendaya has been very candid that the intention of the show was never to make drug use and violence aspirational. "Our show is in no way a moral tale to teach people how to live their life or what they should be doing,” she said in an interview with Entertainment Weekly. “If anything, the feeling behind Euphoria, or whatever we have always been trying to do with it, is to hopefully help people feel a little bit less alone in their experience and their pain. And maybe feel like they're not the only one going through or dealing with what they're dealing with."

And to that end, the show has been successful. "I've had a lot of people reach out and find so many parallels from all ages, all walks of life,” Zendaya told EW. “So many parallels with Rue and her story and Rue means a lot to them in a way that I can understand, but also maybe in a way that I could never understand, and that means the most to all of us."

13 reasons whyGiphy

Previously, the Netflix series “13 Reasons Why” received similar criticism for glorifying teenage suicide. Though the show’s creators initially defended their decision to keep a scene that graphically depicted a young character taking their life, eventually the scene did get removed. According to Vanity Fair, this was at the urging of both advocates and health experts, after there was an increase of calls to suicide hotlines from teenage viewers.

I am not a mental health expert, but I cannot help but wonder: Rather than making suicide appear more attractive, could the show have inspired teenagers to express what was already going on inside? Could instead this be the first time these issues were out in the open, and therefore safe to talk about?

Even Netflix released a statement saying “We’ve heard from many young people that 13 Reasons Why encouraged them to start conversations about difficult issues like depression and suicide and get help—often for the first time.”

This reminds me of the third type of empathy that Goleman and Ekman identify. Compassionate empathy is when we ”not only understand and feel a person’s predicament, but we are moved to help as well.” Though by definition this is regarding being moved to act for somebody else, I think the principle still applies to both "13 Reasons" and "Euphoria." People were moved to talk to someone about their mental health. That to me is a huge victory.

euphoriaGiphy

Empathy is one of the most valuable skills we can learn. It can defeat misunderstandings, derision and dogma while cultivating the best parts in all of us. That’s why we need stories, even the uncomfortable ones, to help us understand a different world as our own, so that we can remember we are all connected, and even, when possible, take compassionate action.

Shows such as "Euphoria" help those struggling with similar issues find unconditional love for themselves and their journey. It helps family members of addicts better understand what’s happening underneath the surface (this coming from a daughter of addicts, by the way). I think that anything created with this kind of heartfelt intention is a force for good. No matter how painful.

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A 6-yr-old's art teacher said she did her painting 'wrong'. Professional artists disagreed.

Someone is wrong in this story, but it's not the 6-year-old.

Gemma Leighton/Twitter
A 6-yr-old's art teacher said she did her painting 'wrong' and the responses are just great

The impulse and ability to create art is one of the highlights of being human. It's a key quality that sets us apart from the animal world, one that makes life more meaningful and enjoyable. While there are artistic skills that make it easier for people to bring their imaginations into the visible, tangible world, art doesn't abide by any hard and fast rules. Especially kids' art. Especially young kids' art.

There is no right or wrong in art, only expression and interpretation. That's the beauty of it. Unlike working with numbers and spreadsheets and data, there is no correct answer and no one way to arrive at the proper destination. As the famous quote from Dead Poet's Society goes, "Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for."

That's why one mom was furious when her 6-year-old's art teacher told the girl her painting was "wrong."

Gemma Leighton, mother of 6-year-old Edie, shared her daughter's painting on Twitter with a request for support. Edie created the painting in an after school art club, and her art teacher told her she did it wrong.

"You can't do art wrong!" wrote Leighton. "She was so upset as art is her favourite thing to do."


 

Now, we don't know exactly what the teacher said to Edie, or why, but if a 6-year-old comes home upset and feeling like there's something wrong with their art, the teacher did something wrong. Full stop. Six-year-olds are just beginning to learn about technique, and encouragement is the most vital thing a teacher can offer a budding artist.

The internet rightfully pounced to Edie's defense, and the responses are incredibly heartwarming.

Many people shared how hurt they were as children when a teacher told them something was wrong with their art—and that they were wrong. Knowing that grown-ups had experienced the same kinds of unnecessary criticism as kids and realized that it was wrong can help Edie feel confident that her painting is not "wrong."

Others pointed out the famous artists that her painting reminded them of. Seeing how her own painting reflects some of the style and color choices of professional artists can help Edie see the spark of genius in her own artwork.

 

Songwriter Kimya Dawson, most famous for her songs in the movie Juno, shared that a middle school English teacher had told her to stop writing poems because they were "too juvenile."

"I never stopped though and making rhyming poems has been my career for over 20 years!" Dawson wrote in a Reply. "Your painting is perfect! Keep it up! Don't worry what anyone else thinks."

Professional artists chimed in with words of encouragement, pointing out that Edie's use of perspective and expressionism were quite impressive for her age.

"The only 'wrong' is not making art that speaks from your heart," wrote an artist who goes by @Artsy on Twitter. "When she expresses her passion, her vision of her world, her personal reactions to what she sees and feels, she'll never be 'wrong.'"

Now that's how it's done! Experts say that not just general encouragement, but pointing out specific things in a child's work that are the building blocks of art and literacy are key to building their self-esteem. In fact, the creative process in and of itself is great at building a child's self-esteem! It allows them to practice independence and feel immense pride at their finished product, no matter what anyone thinks it looks like. Really the only way to turn art into a negative thing for a child is to criticize it.

Even KISS guitarist Paul Stanley offered Edie words of encouragement.

 art, artists, kids, children, kids art, imagination, play, creativity, self-esteem, education, teachers, parents, moms Judging technique can come later. Way later. For now, just let kids create.  Photo by Bahar Ghiasi on Unsplash  

"Your art is AWESOME!!!" he wrote.

"There is no such thing as doing art 'wrong.' There are only teachers who are wrong!!! Your art shows amazing freedom and spirit. How can that be 'wrong'?!?! Keep doing EXACTLY what you are doing. I LOVE it!!!"

 

Imagine being a heartbroken 6-year-old who has been told by a teacher that her art was wrong, and then seeing a flood of thousands of supportive comments from people who looked at the same piece of art and told you what they loved about it. This is how social media should be used. To lift people up, to encourage and inspire, to share beauty and creativity.

After the outpouring, Leighton created a new Twitter account called Edie's Art for people to share kids' artwork, and gracious, it's a delight to peruse.

There's nothing more pure, more colorful, more full of life than art that came from a child's imagination. They may not have the technical skills to perfectly create what they envision in their minds or what they're looking at for inspiration, but that's part of what makes it so beautiful. They aren't self-conscious enough yet to hold back, and their art comes from a place of confidence and acceptance of their own abilities—that is, until some adult comes along and squashes their artistic spirit.

 

One of my favorite things as a parent has been watching my kids' artistic expressions evolve as they've grown, and I've loved their artwork at every stage. And not just because I'm their mom, but because kid creations are the best reminder of how natural the human impulse to create really is, and how beautiful it is when we share that impulse without fear or doubt.

As for Edie, she didn't let that early criticism keep her down. The original story happened about four years ago, and today Evie continues to pursue art. Her mom still occasionally shares the odd piece or two on Twitter/X, and even posted a fun stop-motion video Evie created using one of her stuffed animals. Clearly, her creative spirit could not be suppressed so easily.

"Edie is now immersed in the digital art world and still creates wonderful things every day Keep creating little artists," her mom shared in a recent update on X.

Keep painting, Edie, and all you kiddos out there. Don't let one person's opinion—even a teacher's—hold you back.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

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People applaud brother for 'blowing up at sister' over the name she chose for her baby

"I told her that the name was completely unacceptable, and I was shocked that she chose it."

via Canva/Photos

A brother and sister in a disagreement.

The name your parents choose for you can significantly impact your life. Whether it’s how you’re treated in school and by peers, your professional prospects, or how well you do in the dating arena. A name is nothing to joke about. That’s why an uncle-to-be is mad at his sister. He thinks she isn’t taking naming her unborn daughter seriously and fears it will have dire consequences for the girl in the future.

What started as a funny joke between the brother (a biology student) and his sister (a nurse) has become a bone of contention between the siblings. It all started when the brother sent his sister a humorous list of potential names for his niece based on medical terms.

“I knew she was struggling, so in addition to the $900 wooden crib on her list that I got for her, I gave her a list of (obviously) joke baby names. We have a really close relationship, and it was in line with both our senses of humor,” the brother wrote on Reddit's AITA forum.

“She's a nurse, and I'm a biology student, so all the names were medications, infections, unpleasant animals, etc., that all sound like lovely girls' names out of context,” he continued. “Some of them were a little bit obscure, sure, but I included some obvious ones like ‘Viagra’ and ‘Hernia’ for good measure.

 baby, newborn, baby name, baby crib, sleeping baby, birth,  A newborn baby sleeping.via Canva/Photos

The problem was that the sister liked one of the names and plans on giving it to her daughter. “Malassezia. The baby's name is Malassezia. One of the names on my joke list. Outside of the immediate issues (nearly impossible to pronounce on the first try, the ‘ass’ smack dab it the middle of it, the first syllable being mal-, literally meaning bad or evil), it's also the name of a very common fungal infection,” he wrote. “One that my sister and I are both genetically predisposed to. One that we've both had multiple times throughout our lives. Her daughter will almost certainly catch it at some time!” The brother told his sister that the name is “completely unacceptable.”

What is Malassezia?

According to the Cleveland Clinic, Malassezia occurs when “yeast that occurs as part of your skin’s natural flora multiplies and infects the hair follicles,” the website reads. “The condition causes itchy pimples to form on your face, scalp and upper body. Healthcare providers treat this fungal infection with topical and systemic antifungal medications.”

The mother completely understands the downside of the name but insists that “it's so obscure that no one will ever think twice about it.” The mother-to-be simply likes the sound of the name. Unsure of what to do, the brother posted the story on Reddit to see if he was in the wrong.

 birth certificate, baby name, baby footprint, baby hospital, doctor A doctor taking the baby's footprint.via Canva/Photos

The vast majority of the commenters thought he was totally right to demand the baby’s name be changed.

"I share your frustration, and you're looking out for your niece. While your sis is right that it's her parental right, you're not stepping out of line -- you're family and you're cautioning her,” one commenter wrote. "Tell [the father] so he can veto it,” another commenter added. “Also, how is your sister not thinking about the embarrassment that is going to come with this name? The doctors at every baby appointment will know. I wouldn't be surprised if doctors and nurses giggle when they see her chart. And when she's in school, kids will likely find out what her name means and bully her. Tell your sister to think about her daughter's future. She's thinking too much about her feelings and not thinking about her daughter who would have to live with that name."

One commenter broke the name into chunks and found it has multiple meanings. “Mal = bad + ass = bad ass. So we have the nickname. Now Ezia - Hebrew for elegance? e-Zia as in electronic aunt (Italian?) or electric cottage/home/campervan (Pueblo?),” they wrote.

The only people who thought the brother was wrong were those who believed his sister was pulling a fast one on him. “You gave a joke name list and seem unable to tell she's joking back,” they wrote.

Ultimately, just about everyone agrees that the brother was right to speak up. Names matter, and kids have to live with them their entire lives. Hopefully, his sister takes the hint before her daughter has a name better suited to a microscope slide than a birth certificate.

This article originally appeared in May.

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Man visits his vacant home and discovers squatters, so he moves in with them

Are they roomies now?

Photo credit: Canva

Man moves in with squatters who won't leave his new home.

Picture it: you buy a new home knowing it's a bit of a fixer upper, but it's yours. You're expecting to move in slowly while you work on the house, but when you make your way to your new-to-you home, someone is already living there. Or maybe you're selling a home that's been sitting vacant and when the realtor gets there to show the property, someone has moved in. What do you do?

The logical answer would be to call the police because, clearly, there are intruders in your home who have made it their own. You have all the paperwork showing you own the property so it should be a no brainer. Wrong. Marco Velazquez had this very situation happen when trying to sell a vacant home that he owns. When he reached out to the local authorities, he was informed that the people who moved into his home unlawfully cannot be forced out.

 squatters; squatters rights; man moves in with squatters; illinois squatter laws Boarded up windows.  Photo by Ricky Singh on Unsplash  

Under the current law in Illinois where the incident took place, squatters have rights and the police cannot forcibly remove squatters from the home. It's unclear if the squatters were scammed or if they were aware the property was not legally theirs as they presented police officers with mortgage paperwork, but the mortgage company listed did not exist.

No matter how the couple came about living in the home, it wasn't legally theirs. There needed to be a resolution, but they weren't interested in leaving. That's when the homeowner decided to come up with something a little out of the box: Velazquez decided if the people in his home couldn't be removed, they'd be getting a new roommate–him.

 squatters; squatters rights; man moves in with squatters; illinois squatter laws Vintage Moving In GIF by Allison Ponthier  Giphy  

"I said I'm not moving out and I said at one point they gotta leave, they gotta get tired of us being in the property. I called a couple of friends to stay overnight and I knew they were not gonna like that," Velazquez says to ABC 7 Chicago.

The homeowner moved in with his wife and several friends, bringing air mattresses and blankets determined to tire out the squatters. However, it quickly became apparent that the illegal tenants were not planning to move out. In actuality, the morning after Velazquez moved in, the squatters demanded he pay them $8,000 for them to move out. While the stunt of moving in with squatters was a Hail Mary, Velazquez knew that the arrangement wasn't safe and heard stories of squatters staying for months.

Instead of continuing to wait out the squatters, the man started negotiations with the couple to get them out of his house so it could be sold. He paid the couple $4,300 to leave his home. Shortly after the pair moved out, he learned that the woman had previously been arrested after squatting in someone else's home. Velazquez is hoping that he can also bring charges against the woman and her male partner for squatting in his home.

"We didn't want to give them money but we heard really bad stories about squatters taking over properties six, eight, ten months, even a year," Velazquez says. "I heard stories before about squatters. I never thought it was going to happen to me."

This article originally appeared in May.

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Little girl entered a talent show without telling her mom, and the crowd was here for it

This is what pure confidence looks like.

Photo credit: Canva

A little girl peaking through stage curtains.

One little girl is somersaulting her way into people’s hearts, and reminding us all of how important it is to put yourself out there every once in a while.

In a now-viral TikTok clip posted by @ashleydkennedy14, we learn that her kindergarten-aged niece had apparently entered herself into a talent show without telling her mom—a feat that involved forging mom’s signature onto a permission slip, no less.

And just what did this “act” consist of? Somersaults. Lots of ‘em. Six, to be exact. Also one cartwheel, for good measure. She’d basically deliver one roll, wait for uproarious applause, then do another one. Solid routine, if you ask us.

Honestly, it’s hard to tell which aspect of this moment is more endearing: watching this little girl valiantly overcome a wee bit of shyness—and in the process tapping into some pretty captivating stage presence—or seeing how enthusiastic the audience was to support her. Just good, wholesome stuff all around.

Watch:

 
 @ashleydkennedy14 lol. I’m ☠️☠️. She signed the form herself. #fyp #lol #funny #talentotiktok ♬ Get Ready - Steve Aoki Vocal Radio Edit - 2 Unlimited 
 
 

Even online viewers were taken aback by this girl’s fearlessness. Or rather, her determination to keep going, in spite of her fear.

“I need to know what her parents did because this is CEO level confidence and I am here for it.”

“She was like oh 🤸 u like that 🤸”

 talent show, funny kids, funny kids videos, wholesome, kids, kids dance, kids gymnastics, family, endearing Nailed it. media4.giphy.com

“Im honestly impressed by her independence. She signed herself up and was confident that she had it. Good job mama.”

“She will go far in life. Courage is everything.”

Others noted how kind the crowd was to cheer her on.

“For the people who clapped, as a mother: THANK YOU. it means a lottt.”

“The cheers from the crowd are the best.”

“Ok. because the crowd passed the vibe check. We cheer over here, be brave!”

Funnily enough, plenty of other folks chimed in with similar stories of kiddos sneaking into talent shows…with talents they may or may not have actually possessed.

“My son tried to sign himself up to do karate at his school talent show…he’s never been to a karate class in his life…”

 talent show, funny kids, funny kids videos, wholesome, kids, kids dance, kids gymnastics, family, endearing Watch out, she knows karate!media1.giphy.com

“My daughter entered herself into the talent show in 1st grade and didn’t say anything. She played the piano… she had never played piano in her life til that day lol I need that confidence.”

“My brother did this! He played harmonica for the whole school. He doesn’t know how to play the harmonica.”

While this girl might receive a stern talking to about the importance of not forging signatures, her story is nonetheless a prime example of how kids can really shine when left on their own to take risks, try new things, and opt for exploration over perfection. It can be hard for parents to not want to protect their little ones from failure (whatever that means), but life often provides moments just like this to remind them that taking a step back is a precious opportunity to help instill some self advocacy.

It’s just like the old saying goes, “Leap, and the net will appear.” Or in this case…somersault, and the cheers will follow.

This article originally appeared in May.

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Photos of school lunch tray in South Korea sparks debate about how American kids eat

It sure has adults' mouths watering, though.

Canva Photos

Kids in South Korea sometimes get served lobster tails with school lunch.

School lunch in the United States has a complicated history. While many of us who grew up in the 80s or 90s are nostalgic for some of the menu items we remember fondly (rectangle pizza, anyone?), some of the serving choices were bizarre. We really grew up with someone handing us a tray of pizza, french fries, chocolate milk, and soggy green beans every morning at 10:30am.

The offerings have improved somewhat over the years, but everything's still so... beige. The main choices are typically pizza, chicken nuggets, or some form of questionable ground beef like burgers or meatloaf. Some people are stunned when they find out that school lunches from around the world can look very different.

A photo of lunch served at a school in South Korea recently went viral and had everyone's mouth watering.

A user on Reddit posted the photos to r/pics where they immediately racked up over 17,000 upvotes.

The colors on the tray stick out immediately, most notably the noodles covered in creamy red sauce. But it's really the stuffed lobster tail that's the star of this particular tray; potentially lobster thermidor.

You expect to see some cultural differences in the food offerings in different countries. Korean food is inherently different than American food in a number of ways. But Americans love lobster! Yet can you imagine American schools serving lobster tail to kids under any circumstances?

Take a look at the mouth-watering spread here:

from pics

The response from mostly-American users was fascinating. Some were in awe while others rightly pointed out why a lunch like this would never fly in the USA.

One of the main sentiments was that school lunches in other countries often put ours to utter shame:

"I used to teach in Korea and the lunches were always amazing, the beef and quails egg stew was a constant highlight."

"I studied in Korea for 6 months on uni exchange. The food at the uni cafeteria looked just like this, and was 10/10. My private room at the uni lodge was $500USD for the WHOLE semester, and included unlimited food."

"I live in Spain and my kid's school invited the parents to taste lunch one day. It was fantastic. Also, at the end of each month they share a calendar of the meals that will be served during the next one, day by day. They're all balanced, and prepared with proximity food. They prepare specific meals for every kid with allergies/intolerances/any kind of dietary restriction, e.g. restrictions related to religion. They also share a list of dinner suggestions - again, for the whole month - so you have ideas for dinners that are healthy, easy, cheap, and tasty for kids. It's a public school."

"I am from a third world country where many public schools lack a ton of funding and even we have better more healthy lunches than the slop that’s given to US students. I know because I went to school in the US and also in my home country."

"America hates its f*cking kids. It will always mistreat them and deny them opportunities."

"Lobster as a school lunch??? I need to go back to elementary school... I'll quit work for education and a lunch like that!"

 school lunch, food, school, kids, nutrition, health, elementary school, politics, government, FDA Now here's a balanced and nutritious meal.  Giphy  

Others, while impressed with the selection, had their doubts about if American schools could ever adopt something like this:

"This lunch is orders of magnitude better then US school lunches. And most American kids would utterly hate it."

"American kids have no palette! It’s all chicken nuggets and mac & cheese! ... I know some kids that would starve rather than try anything on that tray."

Some pointed out that those metal chopsticks would likely be used as a weapon almost immediately, and discontinued ASAP.

Americans, as a whole, have a dreadful diet devoid of enough nutrition and it causes catastrophic health problems in the longterm. For clues as to why, you can look at what we feed our kids — and why.


 school lunch, food, school, kids, nutrition, health, elementary school, politics, government, FDA It's normal for kids to be picky eaters. When it continues into adulthood, it can be a root cause of health problems.  Photo by MD Duran on Unsplash  

No, most American kids probably wouldn't like lobster tail. But there is a lot that goes into how our palette develops that might help explain it.

For starters, fresh produce and lean proteins are extremely expensive in America. It's far more cost-effective to pump people full of cheap, empty calories and sugar. School lunch used to be cooked fresh every day in the schools before major government budget cuts forced districts to more heavily on lean on frozen or reheated options. Kids get used to chicken nuggies all day every day from a young age!

The irony is that school lunches in American, while not overly exciting, at least meet some basic nutritional guidelines. But they're not free for everyone, and even kids who qualify for free or reduced lunch may not end up participating due to stigma or red-tape. When parents on a shoestring budget have to buy their own lunch supplies, things can get a lot worse than meatloaf and green beans. We all knew a few kids in school who had Pop Tarts for lunch every day. To be fair, we were all jealous at the time.

And finally, Americans sure love to get fired up about our "right" to eat like crap. When Michelle Obama tried to clean up the school lunch program, she ran into massive pushback. RFK Jr. wants to do his own version of it, and we'll see how that goes.

The viral photo from South Korea shows what might be possible with a few key cultural and political shifts. Treating feeding our kids more like "preventive medicine" versus a cost to manage would definitely be a start.

This article originally appeared in May.

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