What if the media covered these 5 stories like the MOAB?

The Mother of All Bombs has, predictably, become the mother of all news stories.

Photo by Department of Defense via Getty Images.

While we don't yet know how the decision was made, what was accomplished, or how many enemy combatants — or civilians — were killed, we know the one thing that matters above all else: We dropped a really, really big bomb today, and kaboom.


The U.S. military's decision to use the most powerful ordnance in its arsenal is a legitimately big deal.

Still, if there's one thing guaranteed to stoke the embers of 24/7 cable news coverage, it's setting off a massive explosion in a foreign country — no matter how long we've already been blowing things up in said country.

And it really doesn't help that the bomb has a cute nickname.

Northwest Florida Daily News File Photo, via AP.

With a moniker like the Mother of All Bombs, or MOAB, it's no wonder we're talking about it to the exclusion of pretty much everything else happening in the world. How can health care funding, cuts to women's health, and a potential foreign espionage racket compete with a humongous explosive device that also happens to be a member of your family?  

There's a lot going on today that shouldn't be drowned out — stories I've taken the liberty of rebranding here so that, like the giant bomb, they get as much attention as humanly possible.

1. The Father of All Obamacare Funding Debates.

Photo by Andrew Harrer-Pool/Getty Images.

While the U.S. military was busy unleashing mayhem in the Afghan desert, President Trump was initiating the FOAOFD by threatening to eliminate a key program that provides federal subsidies to insurers, helping them cover low-income customers, unless the Democrats negotiate with him on an Obamacare replacement plan.

It could be argued this isn't as exciting as kicking up the biggest fire-and-dust cloud since Nagasaki. Still, a lot of poor people could have trouble seeing the doctor if he follows through, which, you know, eesh.

2. The Brother-in-Law of All Abortion Restrictions.

Photo by Stephanie Ott/Picture Alliance/DPA/AP Images.

President Trump signed the BILOAAR into law today. While incapable of penetrating and obliterating subterranean concrete bunkers, the BILOAAR does allow states to deny funds to organizations that provide contraceptive and reproductive health services, which, hey, is still pretty destructive!

3. The Sister's Ex-Boyfriend of All Turkish Constitutional Referenda.

Photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images.

The SEBOATCR, which goes to a vote Sunday, would overhaul Turkey's constitution, granting President Erdogan the power to appoint his own cabinet officials and dozens of judges, to make sweeping changes without legislative approval, and to dissolve parliament.

Many Turks aren't convinced the vote will be fair, anticipating shenanigans from Erdogan's camp, which has been purging officials since a failed coup last July. If it goes through, many opponents fear the changes will mark the country's transition from kind-of-maybe-dictatorship to full-on dictatorship.

Despite the fact that the referendum is not an 11-ton exploding metal tube, Turkey is a NATO ally, as well as one of the main power brokers in the ongoing Syrian civil war, so the vote could be fairly important.

4. The First Cousin Once Removed of All Potentially Shocking Developments in the Russia Investigation.

Russians. Photo by Michael Klimentyev/Getty Images.

An anonymous source told The Guardian that U.S. investigators now have "specific concrete and corroborative evidence of collusion" between members of the Trump campaign and Russian operatives.

The FCOROAPSDITRI, as it's come to be known, could open the door to criminal prosecutions of associates of the president of the United States, which could turn out to be almost as consequential as pushing a bomb the size of a couple of pick-up trucks out of a plane.

5. The Grandmother's Friend Who Always Comes to Holidays and Whose Name You Definitely Should Know by Now but Don't of All New Money Streams for Programs That Enrich the Lives of Girls of Color.

Warren Buffett. Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

There's even some good non-bomb news! And it comes in the form of the GFWACTHAWNYDSKBNBDOANMSFPTETLOGOC.

Two of Warren Buffett's children pledged $90 million to organizations that serve girls of color, allowing them unprecedented flexibility with the funds and freedom to determine their own needs.

In one fell swoop — and with little fanfare — the Buffetts managed to strike a blow for justice and promote equality without immolating any human beings.

Interested now, America?

That's what I thought.

Photo via Eglin Air Force Base via AP.

Boom.

True

If the past year has taught us nothing else, it's that sending love out into the world through selfless acts of kindness can have a positive ripple effect on people and communities. People all over the United States seemed to have gotten the message — 71% of those surveyed by the World Giving Index helped a stranger in need in 2020. A nonprofit survey found 90% helped others by running errands, calling, texting and sending care packages. Many people needed a boost last year in one way or another and obliging good neighbors heeded the call over and over again — and continue to make a positive impact through their actions in this new year.

Upworthy and P&G Good Everyday wanted to help keep kindness going strong, so they partnered up to create the Lead with Love Fund. The fund awards do-gooders in communities around the country with grants to help them continue on with their unique missions. Hundreds of nominations came pouring in and five winners were selected based on three criteria: the impact of action, uniqueness, and "Upworthy-ness" of their story.

Here's a look at the five winners:

Edith Ornelas, co-creator of Mariposas Collective in Memphis, Tenn.

Edith Ornelas has a deep-rooted connection to the asylum-seeking immigrant families she brings food and supplies to families in Memphis, Tenn. She was born in Jalisco, Mexico, and immigrated to the United States when she was 7 years old with her parents and sister. Edith grew up in Chicago, then moved to Memphis in 2016, where she quickly realized how few community programs existed for immigrants. Two years later, she helped create Mariposas Collective, which initially aimed to help families who had just been released from detention centers and were seeking asylum. The collective started out small but has since grown to approximately 400 volunteers.