What if Dr. Seuss had been alive for this election? Meet the Grump who sacked Greatland.

Ready for storytime? This is called "The Grump Who Sacked Greatland."

On the third of Octember
in a land far away,
a young woman was reading
and knitting one day.


All illustrations by Aphee Messer.


And as hours went by
as she read the day’s news,
her mind started to wander.
She started to snooze.

Then she dreamed a strange dream.
She was older and gray.
She was walking outside
on a dark, rainy day.

All the streets were deserted.
No one was in sight.
With the shops boarded up,
something didn’t seem right.

As she walked, she passed by
an old man in the street.
And he said, “Can you help me
buy something to eat?”

“STORIES: 1000 dollars”
was scrawled on a board.
She was shocked.  That was far more
than she could afford.






















“Could you tell me a story?
My name’s Nixie Knox.
I don’t have any money,
but here’s some new socks!”

Then he clutched the wool socks
in his gnarled old hand,
and he said, “Here’s the tale of
The Fall of Greatland.”

In the country of Greatland  — 
this land that you see  —
 lived a proud, wealthy people
much like you and me.












We worked hard and were happy,
and people soon knew
that if they moved to Greatland
then they could be, too.

We got used to our wealth,
and each year wanted more.
But some people were not
as well off as before.

So we made a mistake,
a huuuuge, big-league mistake —
for a country, the biggest
mistake you can make.

We elected a leader
who wouldn’t prepare.
And to make matters worse,
he did not even care.

















Mr. Harold J. Grump
was the name of this chump,
but most people who knew him
just called him “the Grump.”

No one knows why the Grump
got so grumpy at all,
but some say that his hands
were two sizes too small,

For when he was a little Grump
going to school,
the kids who played Greatball
made him feel like a fool.












His Grump hands were too little
to grasp the big ball,
and they grabbed it so fast
he would stumble and fall.

So his little Grump heart
didn’t grow. Not at all!
His poor heart was so hurt,
it’s four sizes too small.

(This is why it’s not good
to torment anyone!
They grow up and they grab
other people for fun.)












As years passed, he grew older,
and made lots of wealth
with big loans from his father
(not all by himself).

How he loved being rich!
He wrote “GRUMP” on it all!
And it made those mean kids
seem so silly and small.

He built Grump University,
Grump Plaza too,
Grump Casino and Towers,
Grump Park and Grump Zoo.












He tried selling Grump Roast
and Grump Water (so cold!),
but no one wanted food that
tastes bitter and old.

With the years passing by,
he got bored of his life.
“I should be more historic!
I’ve got a new wife!”

And one day, looking out
from the 99th floor,
Mr. Grump saw that things
weren’t as good as before.

He saw crime. He saw people
who’d lost jobs and health,
and he said “I can fix this!
I know how to wealth!"

















“There are poor people here
who are living in hell!
I can make it all better!
Make sick cities well!

Yes, we need law and order!
Things must be set straight!
And there’s no one but me
who can make Greatland great!”







“All these poor foreign workers
are taking your jobs!
We will bring your jobs home
and kick out all the slobs!

Then we’ll build a big wall
to keep all of them out!
No more crime! Bring our jobs back!”
he started to shout.

“Lower taxes are just what we need!”
said the Grump.
“And this ‘Greatcare’ has made
our economy slump!”












And when not enough voters
said “NO” to his lies,
this man won the election,
to my great surprise.

The Grump did what he promised.
He built a huuuuge wall.
He sent immigrants home,
families, children, and all.







But then later that year,
farmers asked him to stop.
“All our workers are gone!
Who will harvest our crop?”

The Grump taxed all the shipments
across the Great Sea.
So things got more expensive,
from clothing to tea.

Now for Greatland this meant
food and clothes cost a lot.
So most people who used to go shopping
did not!












The shopkeepers went home,
and the workers did too.
With no customers left,
there was no work to do.

Then the Grump canceled Greatcare!
When people got ill,
they spent all of their cash
on a big doctor’s bill.







“Greatcare helped us get by!
If we’re sick, we can’t work
to earn money to pay for a doctor,
you jerk!”

But the Grump and his friends
didn’t care about health.
They were lowering taxes
and counting their wealth.







“This is ours! We deserved it!”
said Grump. “Can’t you see?
If you only worked harder,
you’d be rich like me!”

And that’s how Greatland fell.
All our jobs went away.
There was nothing to buy,
and no money to pay!







Then the old man’s sign changed.
He said, “If you elect
Mr. Grump, this will happen,”
and pointed: “EXCEPT…”

And the man disappeared
in a puff of blue smoke.
Nixie stirred in her sleep.
With a start, she awoke.

”This will happen, EXCEPT…“
Nixie sat up and thought.
”This will happen, except
if I care a whole lot!”

Then she said, “I will vote,
and my friends will vote too!
We can stop this mean Grump
and his bright orange ’do!”

















Nixie logged on to Greatbook
and Instagreat too,
and she told all her friends
Greatland needed them, too.

“Who you vote for’s your business,”
she wrote on her Wall,
“but you must, or our Greatland
will crumble and fall.”







And millions of people
just like you and me
went to vote to make Greatland
as great as could be.


Though some well-meaning folks
voted Grump all the same,
he still lost, and flew home
in his fancy Grump Plane.

Then he said, “It was rigged!
It’s unfair! They all cheated!
It’s the only way I could have
been so defeated!”







The people of Greatland
were smarter than that,
and they paid no attention
to such a big brat.

“We are done with your lies!
We are better than this!”
And they waved at the winner,
and blew her a kiss.

With that, Nixie dozed off
as she watched GNN.
And with Greatland now safe,
Saw the future again…












THE END

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Should a man lose his home because the grass in his yard grew higher than 10 inches? The city of Dunedin, Florida seems to think so.

According to the Institute of Justice, which is representing Jim Ficken, he had a very good reason for not mowing his lawn – and tried to rectify the situation as best he could.

In 2014, Jim's mom became ill and he visited her often in South Carolina to help her out. When he was away, his grass grew too long and he was cited by a code office; he cut the grass and wasn't fined.

France has started forcing supermarkets to donate food instead of throwing it away.

But several years later, this one infraction would come back to haunt him after he left to take care of him's mom's affairs after she died. The arrangements he made to have his grass cut fell through (his friend who he asked to help him out passed away unexpectedly) and that set off a chain reaction that may result in him losing his home.

The 69-year-old retiree now faces a $29,833.50 fine plus interest. Watch the video to find out just what Jim is having to deal with.

Mow Your Lawn or Lose Your House! www.youtube.com

Cities

The world officially loves Michelle Obama.

The former first lady has overtaken the number one spot in a poll of the world's most admired women. Conducted by online research firm YouGov, the study uses international polling tools to survey people in countries around the world about who they most admire.

In the men's category, Bill Gates took the top spot, followed by Barack Obama and Jackie Chan.

In the women's category, Michelle Obama came first, followed by Oprah Winfrey and Angelina Jolie. Obama pushed Jolie out of the number one spot she claimed last year.

Unsurprising, really, because what's not to love about Michelle Obama? She is smart, kind, funny, accomplished, a great dancer, a devoted wife and mother, and an all-around, genuinely good person.

She has remained dignified and strong in the face of rabid masses of so-called Americans who spent eight years and beyond insisting that she's a man disguised as a woman. She's endured non-stop racist memes and terrifying threats to her family. She has received far more than her fair share of cruelty, and always takes the high road. She's the one who coined, "When they go low, we go high," after all.

She came from humble beginnings and remains down to earth despite becoming a familiar face around the world. She's not much older than me, but I still want to be like Michelle Obama when I grow up.

Her memoir, Becoming, may end up being the best-selling memoir of all time, having already sold 10 million copies—a clear sign that people can't get enough Michelle, because there's no such thing as too much Michelle.

Don't like Michelle Obama? Don't care. Those of us who love her will fly our MO flags high and without apology, paying no mind to folks with cold, dead hearts who don't know a gem of a human being when they see one. There is nothing any hater can say or do to make us admire this undeniably admirable woman any less.

When it seems like the world has lost its mind—which is how it feels most days these days—I'm just going to keep coming back to this study as evidence that hope for humanity is not lost.

Here. Enjoy some real-life Michelle on Jimmy Kimmel. (GAH. WHY IS SHE SO CUTE AND AWESOME. I can't even handle it.)

Michelle & Barack Obama are Boring Now www.youtube.com

Most Shared
via EarthFix / Flickr

What will future generations never believe that we tolerated in 2019?

Dolphin and orca captivity, for sure. They'll probably shake their heads at how people died because they couldn't afford healthcare. And, they'll be completely mystified at the amount of food some people waste while others go starving.

According to Biological Diversity, "An estimated 40 percent of the food produced in the United States is wasted every year, costing households, businesses and farms about $218 billion annually."

There are so many things wrong with this.

First of all it's a waste of money for the households who throw out good food. Second, it's a waste of all of the resources that went into growing the food, including the animals who gave their lives for the meal. Third, there's something very wrong with throwing out food when one in eight Americans struggle with hunger.

Supermarkets are just as guilty of this unnecessary waste as consumers. About 10% of all food waste are supermarket products thrown out before they've reached their expiration date.

Three years ago, France took big steps to combat food waste by making a law that bans grocery stores from throwing away edible food.According to the new ordinance, stores can be fined for up to $4,500 for each infraction.

Previously, the French threw out 7.1 million tons of food. Sixty-seven percent of which was tossed by consumers, 15% by restaurants, and 11% by grocery stores.

This has created a network of over 5,000 charities that accept the food from supermarkets and donate them to charity. The law also struck down agreements between supermarkets and manufacturers that prohibited the stores from donating food to charities.

"There was one food manufacturer that was not authorized to donate the sandwiches it made for a particular supermarket brand. But now, we get 30,000 sandwiches a month from them — sandwiches that used to be thrown away," Jacques Bailet, head of the French network of food banks known as Banques Alimentaires, told NPR.

It's expected that similar laws may spread through Europe, but people are a lot less confident at it happening in the United States. The USDA believes that the biggest barrier to such a program would be cost to the charities and or supermarkets.

"The logistics of getting safe, wholesome, edible food from anywhere to people that can use it is really difficult," the organization said according to Gizmodo. "If you're having to set up a really expensive system to recover marginal amounts of food, that's not good for anybody."

Plus, the idea may seem a little too "socialist" for the average American's appetite.

"The French version is quite socialist, but I would say in a great way because you're providing a way where they [supermarkets] have to do the beneficial things not only for the environment, but from an ethical standpoint of getting healthy food to those who need it and minimizing some of the harmful greenhouse gas emissions that come when food ends up in a landfill," Jonathan Bloom, the author of American Wasteland, told NPR.

However, just because something may be socialist doesn't mean it's wrong. The greater wrong is the insane waste of money, damage to the environment, and devastation caused by hunger that can easily be avoided.

Planet

The world is dark and full of terrors, but every once in a while it graces us with something to warm our icy-cold hearts. And that is what we have today, with a single dad who went viral on Twitter after his daughter posted the photos he sent her when trying to pick out and outfit for his date. You love to see it.




After seeing these heartwarming pics, people on Twitter started suggesting this adorable man date their moms. It was essentially a mom and date matchmaking frenzy.

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