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We asked about the best presents you've ever given. The answers will make you smile.

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The holidays are here, which means that gifts are on everyone's minds.

Sure, you're probably dying to know what your friends and family got you (we hope it's what you've wanted all year). However, when it comes down to the actual gift exchange, you might find that giving leaves you feeling better than receiving.

Whether you're gifting jewelry to your wife, a bag of Hershey's Kisses to a work colleague, or a sweater covered in dachshunds that your friend will show off at every holiday party this year, there's just something about giving that warms all of our hearts.

In order to prove this theory, we asked real people about a time in their life when giving a gift was better than anything they could have found under the tree. Take a second to grab a tissue before you read these responses.

1. Tracey Carnazzo calls her best friend Noelle her "soulmate." For her, there was no greater gift than buying the gown the woman she loves most would be married in.

Tracey and Noelle. Photo courtesy of Tracey Carnazzo.

"Noelle's been my best friend for over 20 years," says Carnazzo. The pair, who live in New York,  do everything together — from traveling to hosting a popular podcast. When Noelle's mother couldn't make it wedding dress shopping with her daughter, Carnazzo (who also served double duty as both officiant and maid of honor)  took the reins.

"She was planning on buying the dress herself," explains Carnazzo, "but your mom is supposed to buy your dress! I bought it for her because I am her 'other mom,' even though she's three years older than I am."

"It made her feel loved and taken care of. It made me feel great to be able to give her something that she really deserves. Seeing her walk down the aisle in it was better than any gift I’ve ever received. I really love her. To see her happy is when I'm truly happy."

2. David Pardo said 'thank you' to a mentor who had helped him through so much.

Photo by Lucas Lenzi on Unsplash.

"I had a mentor who, when my life was difficult, spent a couple years effectively playing my therapist by phone every week or two, even though he was 1000s of miles away," writes Pardo in an email. His mentor was training to be a counselor, but wasn't comfortable accepting anything in return for his guidance. That didn't stop Pardo from repaying him down the road, though.

"About 4 years after we last spoke, my finances improved along with my mental state, [so] I gave him $1000 as a bit of a start on paying him back," he continues. "He'd been living in his van while finishing his PhD. A divorce while in grad school wrecked his finances. He didn't have a place for his son to live with him."

"After getting the money, he was able to get a place where he could live with his young kid. Being able to fix the thing that is most hurting someone brings a special type of satisfaction."

3. Martha Miller gave a memory that will endure for more than a lifetime.

Photo courtesy of Martha Miller.

"My father-in-law, Hubert, was turning 80 right before Christmas and certainly didn't need a single thing," writes Miller in an email. "I was trying to think of something meaningful we could give him and it finally struck me. He waited a very long time to become a grandfather and was thrilled when two grandsons were born just six weeks apart."

"I got the idea of giving him a photo shoot with them as a present. My sister-in-law and I took Hubert and our boys dressed in Notre Dame jerseys Grandpa had given them for the photo session the next week. My father-in-law wanted several sets of pictures so he could send them to his six brothers and sisters."

"When Grandpa passed away at 88, my son, then 10 years old, spoke at the funeral. He said his favorite memory of Grandpa was having the picture taken with his cousin and Grandpa in the jerseys Grandpa had given them. I tear up just thinking about it. We have the picture placed prominently in my son's room so he will be reminded of his wonderful Grandpa who loved him dearly and the fun time he had with Grandpa and his cousin. I love that this present was so meaningful to Grandpa, and that it is still bringing joy to us and to our son."

4. For Lisa Umar, bringing all of her mom's friends together for her birthday showed her that there's no better gift than making someone happy.

Photo courtesy of Lisa Umar.

"I was living in Washington, D.C. at the time while my family lived in Phoenix," Umar says. "For my mom's birthday, I decided to plan her a surprise party. I managed to track down a bunch of her friends, another friend donated their house for the evening and I sent out printed invitations and everything."

"I also flew home the day before so I could help set up the party and surprise her. She was totally surprised and cried a lot. I may have cried a little too. It felt awesome to pull the entire thing off as a complete surprise, and I was able to get so many of her friends all together in one room.

"There's really no better feeling than making someone that happy. Then, of course, she's reminded me every single year that no gift I ever give her will ever top it. Worth it!"

5. Rachel Toburen gave her mother a very different gift — one of a heartwarming companion.

Photo of Petal via Rachel Toburen.

"I fostered a litter of puppies, and my mom (two time zones away) fell in love with one," says Toburen. "She was trying to figure out some way to adopt the puppy, but coming to Colorado wasn't a possibility."

"To surprise her, we paid Petal's adoption fee, and flew to Michigan to deliver a 12-week-old puppy to my mom for Mother's Day. We told her about it in advance so she would be prepared and have her house ready. It was a lot of work on our end, but seeing my mom fall in love with this puppy from across the country, and then getting to have her...that was pretty awesome."

6. Jess Keegin gave a child the gift of education.  

Photo courtesy of Jess Keegin.

"I started sponsoring Tasila through Children International in 2012 when she was five years old," writes Keegin. "Zambian children typically start school when they're seven, but when I got Tasila's family report at age eight, it said she didn't attend school because her family (which consists of a single mother — her father is deceased — as well as four other siblings) can't afford it."

"I immediately knew I was going to change that, so I reached out to Children International to see what the costs would be to get her in school. She started school in January of 2014."

"She went from a child who looked constantly grumpy and unhappy to one whose smile could light up a room. When I asked CI what her school costs would be for 2017, I received a note that said she was 1st in her class."

"Her education will cost $171 in 2019. It's the best money I'll spend all year."

7. And David Pemberton proves that you can make people feel loved and special no matter how much or how little you spend.

Comic courtesy of David Pemberton.

"When I lived in Denver, I had absolutely no money, and my parents had to scrape together what they could to buy me a ticket back home to Tennessee for the holidays," says Pemberton.

"I have a big family — my present list that year was in the teens — and I knew that I wouldn't be able to buy anyone anything. So I got a ream of computer paper, some pencils, and a few sharpies from the office and I drew a one-page comic for everyone in my family. Each comic was inspired by my favorite memory with them. I bought several $1 frames from the local Goodwill to frame them."

"That year, as we all sat around to open gifts, it was always the comics that made people cry. And I mean everyone cried. Why does that make it better than receiving a gift? Well, I think it's because it let me know that everyone cherished these memories just as much as I did."

This holiday season, the best present you can give is one that you've wrapped with love. The joy you get in return will last you all year long.

Science

Researchers dumped tons of coffee waste into a forest. This is what it looks like now.

30 dump truck loads and two years later, the forest looks totally different.

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One of the biggest problems with coffee production is that it generates an incredible amount of waste. Once coffee beans are separated from cherries, about 45% of the entire biomass is discarded.

So for every pound of roasted coffee we enjoy, an equivalent amount of coffee pulp is discarded into massive landfills across the globe. That means that approximately 10 million tons of coffee pulp is discarded into the environment every year.


When disposed of improperly, the waste can cause serious damage soil and water sources.

However, a new study published in the British Ecological Society journal Ecological Solutions and Evidence has found that coffee pulp isn't just a nuisance to be discarded. It can have an incredibly positive impact on regrowing deforested areas of the planet.

via British Ecological Society

In 2018, researchers from ETH-Zurich and the University of Hawaii spread 30 dump trucks worth of coffee pulp over a roughly 100' x 130' area of degraded land in Costa Rica. The experiment took place on a former coffee farm that underwent rapid deforestation in the 1950s.

The coffee pulp was spread three-feet thick over the entire area.

Another plot of land near the coffee pulp dump was left alone to act as a control for the experiment.

"The results were dramatic." Dr. Rebecca Cole, lead author of the study, said. "The area treated with a thick layer of coffee pulp turned into a small forest in only two years while the control plot remained dominated by non-native pasture grasses."

In just two years, the area treated with coffee pulp had an 80% canopy cover, compared to just 20% of the control area. So, the coffee-pulp-treated area grew four times more rapidly. Like a jolt of caffeine, it reinvigorated biological activity in the area.

The canopy was also four times taller than that of the control.

Before and after images of the forest

The forest experienced a radical, positive change

via British Ecological Society

The coffee-treated area also eliminated an invasive species of grass that took over the land and prevented forest succession. Its elimination allowed for other native species to take over and recolonize the area.

"This case study suggests that agricultural by-products can be used to speed up forest recovery on degraded tropical lands. In situations where processing these by-products incurs a cost to agricultural industries, using them for restoration to meet global reforestation objectives can represent a 'win-win' scenario," Dr. Cole said.

If the results are repeatable it's a win-win for coffee drinkers and the environment.

Researchers believe that coffee treatments can be a cost-effective way to reforest degraded land. They may also work to reverse the effects of climate change by supporting the growth of forests across the globe.

The 2016 Paris Agreement made reforestation an important part of the fight against climate change. The agreement incentivizes developing countries to reduce deforestation and forest degradation, promote forest conservation and sustainable management, and enhance forest carbon stocks in developing countries.

"We hope our study is a jumping off point for other researchers and industries to take a look at how they might make their production more efficient by creating links to the global restoration movement," Dr. Cole said.


This article originally appeared on 03.29.21

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Health

Ear rumbling is a special 'superpower' that not everyone has

Can you do this?

via Eltpics / Twitter

Mapping out the structure of the inner ear.

There are no two human beings who are exactly alike. One of the funny quirks of evolution is that some of us can do things with our bodies we think are routine, but are impossible for others.

Some people can wiggle their ears, others can't. Some can wiggle their nose like Samantha from "Bewitched" while others just look really silly when making an attempt.

Not everyone can lick their elbow but most wouldn't attempt to do so in public.

A Twitter user named Massimo dropped some knowledge about a skill that not everyone has and even fewer discuss: ear rumbling.

Those of us who can do it know exactly what it is, while it's a mystery to those who cannot.

People who can ear rumble have the ability to control the tensor tympani, a muscle within the ear. Contracting the muscle creates a rushing, rumbling sound that, if flexed enough, can drown out a significant amount of noise.

This can be useful when someone is saying something that you don't want to hear but don't want to be rude and cover your ears. It can come in real handy if someone is about to spoil your favorite TV show or if you live with someone who can't stop nagging.

Some people cannot voluntarily create the rumbling sound but hear it when they let out a large yawn.

There's a Reddit sub-forum just for ear rumblers with over 60,000 people. Here's how some of them get rumblin'.

"I just squeeze the muscle in my ears I guess," — melvinthefish

"When I flex and hold whatever I'm manipulating to do that, I get my rumble," — ttywzl

"I get a mild rumble just doing the usual flex, but i can make it a bit louder by bringing my top lip up to my nose," — Willmono7

"The best way I can describe it is I 'squint my ears,'" —SteeleIT

The muscle exists to mask-low frequency sounds so we can focus on those at a higher frequency. It also works to mute sounds we create ourselves such as eating potato chips or coughing. It's a way that helps us from becoming annoyed with our own bodies.

Unfortunately, the muscle has a rather slow reaction time so it cannot prevent us from hearing loud sudden noises like a gunshot or a book slamming on the ground.

Massimo's tweet caused quite a stir on the platform.

Although scientists have known about ear rumbling since at least the 1800s, there doesn't appear to have been too much research on the topic. We know that some can rumble and others cannot, but it's unclear how it breaks down percentage-wise or if it's more prevalent in certain groups.

The good news is that the word is starting to get out and people who've been rumbling all their lives suddenly don't feel so alone.


This article originally appeared on 03.05.20

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Family

Naming twins is an art. Here are some twin names people say are the best they've ever heard.

With twins, all the regular pressures of having a baby are doubled, including choosing a name.

Photo credit: Canva

Are you in favor of rhyming twin names? Or is it too cutesy?

Having twins means double the fun, and double the pressure. It’s a fairly known rule to name twins in a way that honors their unique bond, but that can lead to overly cutesy pairings that feel more appropriate for nursery rhyme characters than actual people. Plus, it’s equally important for the names to acknowledge each twin’s individuality. Again, these are people—not a matching set of dolls. Finding the twin baby name balance is easier said than done, for sure.

Luckily, there are several ways to do this. Names can be linked by style, sound or meaning, according to the baby name website Nameberry. For example, two names that share a classic style would be Elizabeth and Edward, whereas Ione and Lionel share a similar rhythm. And Frederica and Milo seem to share nothing in common, but both mean “peaceful.”

Over on the /NameNerds subreddit, one person asked folks to share their favorite twin name pairings, and the answers did not disappoint.

One person wrote “Honestly, for me it’s hard to beat the Rugrats combo of Phillip and Lillian (Phil and Lil) 💕”

A few parents who gave their twin’s names that didn’t inherently rhyme until nicknames got involved:

"It's the perfect way! Christmas cards can be signed cutely with matching names, but when they act out you can still use their full name without getting tripped up.😂"

"The parents of a good friend of mine did this: her name is Allison and her sister is Callie. Their names don’t match on the surface, but they were Alli and Callie at home."

“Alice and Celia, because they’re anagrams! Sound super different but have a not-so-obvious implicit connection.”

This incited an avalanche of other anagram ideas: Aidan and Nadia, Lucas and Claus, Liam and Mila, Noel and Leon, Ira and Ria, Amy and May, Ira and Ari, Cole and Cleo…even Alice, Celia, and Lacie for triplets.

Others remembered name pairs that managed to sound lovely together without going into cutesy territory.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesThese matching bunny ears though. Photo credit: Canva

“I know twin toddler boys named Charlie and Archie and they go so well together,” one person commented.

Another wrote, “Tamia and Aziza. I love how they follow the same sound pattern with the syllable endings (-uh, -ee, -uh) without being obnoxiously matchy matchy.”

Still another said, “Lucy and Logan, fraternal girl/boy twins. I think the names sound so nice together, and definitely have the same 'vibe' and even though they have the same first letter they aren't too matchy-matchy.”

Other honorable mentions included: Colton and Calista, Caitlin and Carson, Amaya and Ameera, Alora and Luella, River and Rosie, and Eleanor and Elias.

One person cast a vote for shared style names, saying, “If I had twins, I would honestly just pick two different names that I like separately. I tend to like classic names, so I’d probably pick Daniel and Benjamin for boys. For girls my two favorites right now are Valerie and Tessa. I think Val and Tess would be cute together!”

Overall though, it seems that most folks were fans of names that focused on shared meaning over shared sound. Even better if there’s a literary or movie reference thrown in there.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesMany adult twins regret that their names are so closely linked together. Photo credit: Canva

“My mom works in insurance, so I asked her. She’s seen a lot of unique ones, but the only twins she remembers are Gwenivere [sic] and Lancelot... bonus points... little brother was Merlin,” one person recalled.

Another shared, “If I had twin girls, I would name them Ada and Hedy for Ada Lovelace and Hedy Lamarr, both very early computer/tech pioneers. Not that I’m that into tech, I just thought it was a brilliant combination.”

Other great ones: Susan and Sharon (think the original “Parent Trap”), Clementine and Cara (types of oranges), Esme and Etienne (French descent), Luna and Stella (moon and stars), Dawn and Eve, plus various plant pairings like Lily and Fern, Heather and Holly, and Juniper and Laurel.

Perhaps the cleverest name pairing goes to “Aubrey and Zoe,” since…wait for it… “they’re A to Z.”

It’s easy to see how naming twins really is a cool opportunity for parents to get creative and intentional with their baby naming. It might be a challenge, sure, but the potential reward is having the most iconic set of twins ever. Totally worth it!

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8 nontraditional empathy cards that are unlike any you've ever seen. They're perfect!

Because sincerity and real talk are important during times of medical crisis.

via Stock Vector

True compassion.

When someone you know gets seriously ill, it's not always easy to come up with the right words to say or to find the right card to give.

Emily McDowell — a former ad agency creative director and the woman behind the Los Angeles-based greeting card and textile company Emily McDowell Studio — knew all too well what it was like to be on the receiving end of uncomfortable sentiments.

At the age of 24, she was diagnosed with Stage 3 Hodgkin's lymphoma. She went into remission after nine months of chemo and has remained cancer-free since, but she received her fair share of misplaced, but well-meaning, wishes before that.

On her webpage introducing the awesome cards you're about to see, she shared,

"The most difficult part of my illness wasn't losing my hair, or being erroneously called 'sir' by Starbucks baristas, or sickness from chemo. It was the loneliness and isolation I felt when many of my close friends and family members disappeared because they didn't know what to say or said the absolute wrong thing without realizing it."

Her experience inspired Empathy Cards — not quite "get well soon" and not quite "sympathy," they were created so "the recipients of these cards [can] feel seen, understood, and loved."

Scroll down to read these sincere, from-the-heart, and incredibly realistic sentiments.

Emily McDowell Studio

Emily McDowell Studio

Emily McDowell Studio

Emily McDowell Studio

Emily McDowell Studio

Emily McDowell Studio

Emily McDowell Studio

Emily McDowell Studio

Pretty great, right? If you know someone who's in the less-than-ideal position of dealing with a serious illness, you can purchase any of these eight cards to share with them.

Visit Emily McDowell Studio's shop to select the card(s) you need. They're $5.00 each.

(We're not being paid to share these, nor were we asked to do so. We came across the cards and I loved them, so I reached out to Emily McDowell Studio and asked if I could share them with you. Unfortunately, a lot of us know someone who could use a card like one of these.)


This article originally appeared on 05.06.15







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How 7 things that have nothing to do with rape perfectly illustrate the concept of consent.

Well this is all a very brilliant way to show what it's all about.

mage from Everyday Feminism, used with permission by creator Alli Kirkham.

There are many different scenarios where consent is necessary.



In 2013, Zerlina Maxwell ignited a firestorm of controversy when she strongly recommended we stop telling women how to not get raped.

Here are her words, from the transcript of her appearance on Sean Hannity's show:

"I don't think that we should be telling women anything. I think we should be telling men not to rape women and start the conversation there with prevention."

So essentially — instead of teaching women how to avoid rape, let's raise boys specifically not to rape.

There was a lot of ire raised from that idea. Maxwell was on the receiving end of a deluge of online harassment and scary threats because of her ideas, which is sadly common for outspoken women on the Internet.

People assumed it meant she was labeling all boys as potential rapists or that every man has a rape-monster he carries inside him unless we quell it from the beginning.

But the truth is most of the rapes women experience are perpetrated by people they know and trust. So fully educating boys during their formative years about what constitutes consent and why it's important to practice explicitly asking for consent could potentially eradicate a large swath of acquaintance rape. It's not a condemnation on their character or gender, but an extra set of tools to help young men approach sex without damaging themselves or anyone else.

news, campaigns, young men, cultural norms

Zerlina Maxwell is interviewed on "Hannity."

Image from “Hannity."

But what does teaching boys about consent really look like in action?

Well, there's the viral letter I wrote to my teen titled "Son, It's Okay If You Don't Get Laid Tonight" explaining his responsibility in the matter. I wanted to show by example that Maxwell's words weren't about shaming or blaming boys who'd done nothing wrong yet, but about giving them a road map to navigate their sexual encounters ahead.

There are also rape prevention campaigns on many college campuses, aiming to reach young men right at the heart of where acquaintance rape is so prevalent. Many men are welcoming these efforts.

And then there are creative endeavors to find the right metaphors and combination of words to get people to shake off their acceptance of cultural norms and see rape culture clearly.


This is brilliant:

consent, rape prevention, community, consent culture

A comic about different types of consent.

Image from Everyday Feminism, used with permission by creator Alli Kirkham.

There you have it. Seven comparisons that anyone can use to show how simple and logical the idea of consent really is. Consent culture is on its way because more and more people are sharing these ideas and getting people to think critically. How can we not share an idea whose time has come?

This article originally appeared on 06.27.15

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