If the English language were a person, it would be this guy.
Photo by Jessica/Flickr.
A sweating, hulking lumberjack wielding an enormous saw, which is, stereotypically, the very essence of all that is manly.
Of course, women can be lumberjacks, too. But the English language — at least, the way it was taught to many of us — doesn't have room for that kind of nuance.
Don't believe me? Here's a picture of a couple of "policemen":
Photo by Jay Weenig/Flickr.
And here's one of a hardworking "fireman":
Photo by William Franklin/Flickr.
Matter of fact, what comes to mind when you think about a "freshman" in college? Or things that are "man-made?" What do you picture when you think about the history of "mankind"?
Starting to see a trend here?
For years, we've been taught that male-centric language is OK. The folks over at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill decided to teach their students differently.
Photo by William Yeung/Flickr.
I know for a fact that I'm guilty of this. Though I can't pinpoint exactly when, somewhere along the line I started assuming readers would know what I meant when I wrote "policeman." That they'd know I was referring to everyone on the planet when I said "mankind." That "Hey, guys!" was a perfectly acceptable substitute for "Hey, everyone!"
The truth is that defaulting to the male version of a word or phrase is lazy and uncool.
That's why UNC Chapel Hill is challenging its students to think more carefully about gender in their writing.
In a new addition to the school's writing guide, students can find guidelines that will help them "make decisions about using gendered language" in their writing.
According to the guide, "Most readers no longer understand the word 'man' to be synonymous with 'person,' so clear communication requires writers to be more precise."
It then goes on to give lots of helpful tips for students to use in their writing. They're not issuing mandates; they're providing guidelines.
For starters, there's a nifty chart that gives students gender-neutral alternatives to certain problematic words. "Mailman," for example, becomes "mail carrier." "Freshman" becomes "first-year student."
The guide also discusses topics like when and when not to invoke gender at all in academic writing and how to make sure the content of your writing is fair. (Referring to William Shakespeare as "Shakespeare," and Jane Austen as "Jane"? It happens, and it's pretty sexist.)
And, possibly, my personal favorite recommendation is the use of "they" as a singular pronoun, which is long, long overdue and, according to the guide, is a good alternative because "using 'she or he' or similar constructions can also inadvertently exclude people who do not refer to themselves using either pronoun." (Relax, grammar enthusiasts; the world isn't going to implode.)
Some are up in arms about these new guidelines, though, declaring them a "War on Words," and the work of "the P.C. Police."
Image from "Fox and Friends Weekend."
And this isn't the first time a campus initiative like this has gotten significant blowback.
Earlier this year, the University of Tennessee Knoxville had a post on its website encouraging students and teachers to ask each other which pronouns they preferred and to consider using gender-neutral pronouns like "ze" or "xe." After huge amounts of criticism, in which the policy was referred to as "liberal propaganda," the post came down a few weeks later.
UNC Chapel Hill already looks like it's headed for the same kind of opposition.
But really, when you boil it down, UNC isn't asking much. It's simply asking students to say what they mean and to stop assuming people like police officers and congressional representatives are men.
If you ask me, that's not propaganda, it's an important lesson for our next generation of leaders.



A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons
An office kitchen.via
An angry man eating spaghetti.via 



An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
- YouTube youtube.com
Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.