upworthy
Joy

Making friends as an adult is hard. These five tips from an expert can help.

Friendships never stop being important.

friendship, making friends
Canva

Making friends is hard. But maybe it doens't have to be THAT hard.

Making friends as an adult is definitely not like making friends as a kid.

Remember how easy it was to make a new friend when you were young? Five minutes sharing a slide and suddenly you're bonded for life.

But as we grow older, making friends can become much harder. So hard, in fact, that some people equate having a large group of close friends to a miracle.

Friendships are an important part of life at any age.

Most everyone wants and needs friends, and research shows that friendships can have a huge effect on our physical and mental health. There's not much we can do about friendships that diminish and change as we age — people move, start families and new careers, and shift to new social circles — but it's important to keep forming meaningful, long-lasting connections with people throughout life, whether you're 25 or 80.

It's something that affects us all.

"Making friends is hard for everyone," says Ellen Hendriksen, clinical psychologist and author of "How to Be Yourself," a guide on learning to tame social anxiety. "It's not just you." But knowing you're not alone isn't going to get you the friend circle you want.

Here are five tips to getting into the mindset of making friends — and then going out and doing it.

1. Relax (aka the hardest step).

In college, my abnormal psychology professor told us about a guy who wanted to make friends — five friends (because we all seem have an arbitrary number of pals we think is appropriate). He went to a party and met five people he liked and got their numbers. This guy was so excited that he started calling his new friends immediately, asking them to do things and inviting them for coffee nearly every day.

Of course, his overexcitement became clingy, his new acquaintances suddenly started making excuses, and he ended up being a negative example for a group of undergrads learning about problems in human behavior.

"You can't make friends like a poacher," Hendriksen says. "Focus on being open and curious and thoughtful. Ask questions, listen when others respond, be friendly, and when you slowly inch into the mix, be intentional."

Allow yourself to be in the moment and ask questions that come up naturally. If someone says they're having a hard week at work, ask them about it. If someone tells you they've recently been on a trip, commit to asking something more than just "how was it?" Be interested.

shared interest, making friends, dog park, group involvement

Make friends through shared interests like a dog park.

Photo by Carol Magalhães on Unsplash

2. Repetition is key.

Most articles about how to make friends suggest that people find a hobby, join a group, or volunteer. But Hendriksen says that's not a fail-safe solution.

Ultimately, it's not the activity that matters — although it should be something you enjoy — it's the fact that you're finding a place where other people can get to know you over time. In fact, since more and more research shows that making friends takes longer than previously thought, it's important to give it some time; Hendriksen suggests giving it a season.

You don't have to join an official group or club. Hendriksen once turned an acquaintance into a good friend when the two bonded over their mission to try every Mexican restaurant in Cambridge, Massachusetts. The key is to engage in something that allows you to get to know other people and lets them to get to know you.

"You can go to the same dog park every morning," Hendriksen says. "You can join an Ultimate Frisbee team. You can walk your kids to the bus stop every day and chat with the other parents. Or you can start something with repetition. Have a weekly viewing party for your favorite TV show, start a writer's group, start a new mom's playgroup or a boozy book club."

Really, whatever works for you as long as other people are involved.

3. Disclose, but don’t confess.

Imagine you're meeting someone for the first time. You ask them how they're doing, and they say "fine." There's not much to work with because the other person hasn't disclosed anything. What else is there to say?

Now imagine a different person. You ask them how they're doing and their response is one of sheer distress: "Nothing is going right in my life. Parking was hell, my job kills me, and I'm still not over my ex." I imagine your response to this diatribe wouldn't be particularly positive.

And why should it be? These are things you'd tell to a very close friend, not just someone you've met at your new book club.

This doesn't mean we can never say anything negative — after all, we all have bad days. But your goal is to keep the connection on even footing. Sharing a little bit about yourself is fine, but the goal is to lead to further conversation rather than a deep emotional connection right off the bat.

Why doesn't confession work? Because it's too much, too soon. The goal of confession can be to foster a sense of kinship, but when that strong emotional connection has new acquaintances wondering whether you're looking for a friend or a therapist, the relationship is already off balance. You can get closer, but give it time first.

"Don't let them see all of the mess right away," Hendriksen says, "but let them see a little peek at the mess. What do you do? How do you spend your time? What do you think about? What are you like? Where are you from? What's your story?"

She notes that disclosing things about yourself may feel weird and even "selfish" at first, but it's just because you’re not used to it. Keep trying.

movies, specific day, concrete timeline, new friends

Suggesting a specific activity is better than 'let's hang out sometime.'

Photo by Simon Ray on Unsplash

4. Don’t fear the follow-through.

All of this meeting new people and sharing interests is leading somewhere, right? You also want to make more lasting connections with some of your new acquaintances.

To do that, you must initiate a plan and then follow through.

Sometimes, you'll be lucky and someone will ask you to do something first. But most people are a little bit terrified about stepping outside their comfort zone. And that means making the plans and following through can be tricky — for everyone.

The key is to be specific. "Do you want to hang out sometime?" seems like a nice, safe question that gets to whether someone wants to spend more time together, but it doesn't work. Even if the person says yes, you have no concrete timeline in place. You've thrown the ball into their court and are now at the whim of their schedule.

"Do you want to go see a movie on Saturday?" for instance, or "do you want to take a hike with me on Sunday?" are both great options to feel out if someone's interested in a specific activity on a specific day. If they say yes, then you're good to go.

If they say no? Well, they might come up with an alternative activity.

5. Allow yourself to be anxious. And then go for it anyway.

We've all been there: Someone invites you to an event, and you get excited, but when the day of the event comes, you'd rather be doing anything else. After all, comfort zones are ... well, comfortable.

Although the urge to cancel may be strong, recognizing that these feelings are normal is the first step to overcoming them.

Your brain, Hendriksen says, comes up with worst-case scenarios — What if you say something foolish? What if the other person is only doing it to be nice? What if you have nothing in common? — to keep you safe. "But really, it's a false alarm."

Remember when you were terrified about that presentation in class or that important meeting you were leading at work? Did it end up going OK, even if it was hard? Then why shouldn't this? After all, if you don't try, you'll never be ready.

Though most of us would rather, as Hendriksen says, cocoon ourselves away and hope that we'll emerge as beautiful social butterflies, the truth is that experience is the only way we can get there. So keep moving forward. You just have to take the first step.

This article originally appeared on 07.05.18

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advice
Democracy

Here’s a paycheck for a McDonald’s employee. And here's my jaw hitting the ground.

The federal minimum wage is still less than this.

via JustFrugalMe/YouTube

How can anyone get by on this?

I've written extensively about minimum wage, supported by fact-checkers, economists, and scholarly studies. All of them support raising the minimum wage as a solution to lifting people out of poverty and getting them off public assistance. It's slowly happening, and there's much more to be done.

But when it comes right down to it, where the rubber meets the road is what it means for everyday workers who have to live with those wages. I honestly don't know how they do it. Ask yourself: Could I live on this small of an hourly wage? I know what my answer is.

(And note that the minimum wage in many parts of the county is STILL $7.25, so it could be even less than this).

paychecks, McDonalds, corporate power, broken systemOne year of work at McDonalds grossed this worker $13,811.18.via JustFrugalMe/YouTube

The YouTube channel Just Frugal Me discussed the viral paycheck and noted there's absolutely nothing wrong with working at McDonald's. More than 2 million people in the U.S. alone work for the fast food giant. The worker's paycheck shows they put in 72 hours over the pay period, making $8.75 per hour. Before taxes, that's $631 for the week. Just Frugal Me's breakdown is even more eye-opening, breaking down this person's pay after taxes and weighing across average rent and utility costs. Spoiler Alert: the total costs for basic necessities far outweigh what this person is making even while working 12 hours per day. But they do make too much to qualify for Medicaid, meaning they will have to go out and buy their own health insurance.

mcdonald's, minimum wage, restaurants, fast food, burgers, big macA photo of a McDonald's in Hartford, CT. via Mike Mozart/Flickr

Even in states like California, where the state's $20 minimum wage ensures that people earn nearly three times as much as the federal minimum wage, which remains as low as when this paycheck first made the rounds nearly 10 years ago.

Still, even for a worker that maxed out at 40 hours per week and took zero vacation or sick time, that's only a little over $41,000 per year. That's barely half the median wage in the state of $78,000 and far below a sustainable living wage in cities like Los Angeles.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The U.S. federal minimum wage is just $7.25 and hasn't been raised since 2009. In April 2025, the Raise the Wage Act of 2025 was introduced in the House of Representatives and U.S. Senate. The bill would increase the federal minimum wage to $17 an hour by 2030 and eliminate the subminimum wage for tipped workers and those with disabilities. But supporters should be cautious that it's unlikely to pass the Republican-controlled Congress.

If the Wage Act of 2025 were to pass, over $22 million workers would get a raise, which is 15% of the U.S. workforce. It would raise $70 billion for low-wage Americans, an increase of $3,200 per worker.

“No person working full-time in America should be living in poverty," Virginia Congressman Bobby Scott said in a statement. "The Raise the Wage Act will increase the pay and standard of living for nearly 22 million workers across this country. Raising the minimum wage is good for workers, good for business, and good for the economy. When we put money in the pockets of American workers, they will spend that money in their communities,”

This story originally appeared ten years ago. It has been updated to reflect new information.

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minimum wage
Community

Woman shows off her Costco badge after a 3-month job search and critics quickly get schooled

Apparently some people didn't realize what a win it is to work at Costco.

Photo credit: Canva

Working at Costco is nothing to mock.

As the adage goes, there's an exception to every rule, and the exception to the rule of retail employment being a hellscape of low pay and high turnover is the warehouse giant Costco. It seems not everyone is aware of Costco's reputation as an employer, though, since a woman sharing her triumph at landing a job there was initially met with surprising derision on social media. But the critics were quickly corrected by both Costco employees and people familiar with the company's employment practices, launching a celebration of Costco as a responsible business that takes care of its employees.

A woman named Doreau shared a selfie from her car holding up her Costco employee badge with a caption that read, "After almost 3 months. I'm officially hired." Whether she'd been searching for a job in general for 3 months or had been in the hiring process with Costco for that long isn't clear, but her smile and triumph emoji indicated that she was proud of the accomplishment.

Not everyone was so enthusiastic, though, in what appears to be a misunderstanding by some about what it means to work at Costco. Some commenters mocked the woman, indicating that working at Costco was nothing to boast about, as if it's just another retail job. As one example, someone wrote, "Who tf spends 3 months chasing a job at Costco." But people in the know shut that idea down immediately.

"They must not know that Costco’s employee turnover rate…She hit a lick on that one!!"

"Costco pays their employees INCREDIBLY well and has benefits unlike any other grocer. I’m so happy for her!!!"

"Man i’ve been trying to get a job at costco for sooo long i know somebody who works at the door checking receipts and makes $25/hour"

"The best employee benefits, satisfaction, retention and upwards mobility in American retail. God bless her."

"My guy has been at Costco for 20yrs, makes 6 figures and has almost 1M in his 401k. No stress at work, tons of PTO, and has a wonderful work/life balance. Y'all still struggling with basic life stuff."

"People don’t leave Costco when they find employment there. It’s getting your foot in the door that’s the hard part. Good for her."

Reposts with hundreds of thousands of likes showed that she had every right to be proud of landing that Costco badge, especially in an economy where people seem to be having a hard time finding jobs despite low unemployment rates.

What makes Costco a great place to work?

Of course, you can find people who will complain about any job, but the numbers at Costco speak for themselves. According data cited in the Harvard Business Review, Costco's turnover rate—the percentage of employees that leave—is only 8%, a notably small fraction of the retail industry average rate of 60%.

There's a reason for that extraordinary statistic—several of them, in fact.

Costco prioritizes paying employees well—including good benefits

According to an Ethics Unwrapped case study, Costco pay tends to be around 40% more than Walmart and Target and the company provides more comprehensive health and retirement benefits as well. Part of what enables them to do that is the money they save with their low turnover rate, as it costs a lot to hire and train new employees.

Costco cofounder Jim Sinegal rejected the idea that a company had to either take care of its shareholders or its workers, calling that "a false choice."

"It's really pretty simple. It's good business," Sinegal said in 2009. "When you hire good people, and you provide good jobs and good wages and a career, good things are going to happen."

It truly is that simple. Costco's philosophy hasn't changed since Sinegal's retirement in 2012; it's all about the reciprocal care between employee and employer: "Costco’s success depends on the well-being of employees within all areas of our business. Our operational practices, benefits, and paid time-off policies acknowledge and reward employees for their continued contribution to our culture and success."

According to Investopedia, Costco's average wage is over $30 per hour, around $5.50 per hour higher than the national retail average. Its minimum wage is $19.50/hr.

costco aisle and shelvesCostco is known in the retail world for its excellent pay and benefits.Curlyrnd/Wikimedia Commons

Costco provides lots of opportunity for advancement

Look no further than Costco's new CEO, Ron Vachris, for proof of Costco's internal promotion philosophy. Vachris began as a forklift driver at Costco as a teenager (technically when it was known as Price Club, before it became Costco). Now, at 58, he runs the whole company.

He's an extreme example, but Costco has purposefully opportunity baked into its employment model, encouraging employees "to view Costco as a place for a long-term career rather than just a job." As the company website states:

"When it comes to employee development, our goals are to:

● Provide all employees with training, education and opportunities for career development and advancement.

● Ensure there is fair access and resources to help employees succeed.

● Encourage leaders to continue to teach and mentor employees, so that employees will be prepared for opportunities and greater responsibility.

● Encourage employees to take advantage of opportunities for development and advancement."

From the stories people tell of moving up the ranks in their Costco careers, that's not just lip service.

Costco has a well-earned reputation as an ethical company

Costco is often held up as an ethical example of capitalism in the way it treats the people it employs, serves, and works with. Internally, the company abides by a 4-rule code of ethics, which seems remarkably simple on the surface:

1. Obey the law.

2. Take care of our members.

3. Take care of our employees.

4. Respect our suppliers.

But when you dig into what each of those rules entails in the company's Mission Statement and Code of Ethics, it's easy to see why it works. "At the core of our philosophy as a company is the implicit understanding that all of us, employees and management alike, must conduct ourselves in an honest and ethical manner every day," the document reads. "Dishonest conduct will not be tolerated. To do any less would be unfair to the overwhelming majority of our employees who support and respect Costco’s commitment to ethical business conduct… If you are ever in doubt as to what course of action to take on a business matter that is open to varying ethical interpretations, TAKE THE HIGH ROAD AND DO WHAT IS RIGHT."

Well, that's quite clear. Costco demonstrated its own commitment to its own ethics when it resisted pressure to abandon its DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) initiatives in late 2024, saying, "Our commitment to an enterprise rooted in respect and inclusion is appropriate and necessary."

Perhaps most importantly, Costco emphasizes that abiding by this code of ethics is what enables shareholders to be rewarded, and at this point, they've proven that to be true. A good business practicing good ethics ultimately leads to good results—it really does seem to be that simple.

This article originally appeared in January

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Art

In 125 years, millions of people have looked at this painting. No one really saw it until recently.

Van Gogh saw something it took scientists another 100 years to see.

Image from Wikimedia Commons.

Van Gogh's Starry Night, 1889.

Vincent van Gogh never got to enjoy his own historic success as an artist (even though we've been able to imagine what that moment might have looked like). Van Gogh died in 1890 at the age of 37 in Auvers-sur-Oise, France after shooting himself in the chest with a revolver. It was a tragic end to a turbulent life marked by mental instability and severe self-doubt.

According to the Van Gogh Museum, in a letter to his brother Theo in 1890, just a couple of weeks before his death, Van Gogh wrote, "...my life, is attacked at the very root, my step also is faltering." The man was struggling and exhausted. The high standards he had set for himself and his art were taking a toll. He was unsure about his future and, up to this point, had not received much recognition for his work and thought himself a failure "as a man and as an artist."

His most well-known work, Starry Night, was famously painted while Van Gogh was staying in an asylum in France 1889 after he mutilated his ear during a psychotic episode. According to the Van Gogh Museum, though, this may not be the full story. While it is widely agreed that Van Gogh did in fact cut off his own ear, the museum notes that it was because of a fight between Van Gogh and Paul Gaugin, the artist he had been working for in Aries, that led to the violent explosion that highlighted his deteriorating mental state.

Vincent Van Gogh, artist, 19th century, famous artist, Starry NightVincent Van Gogh's Self-Portrait, 1889Image via Canva.

As one of the best known and most studied artists of the 19th century, Van Gogh's madness and how it influenced his work is not new information. But it turns out that those of us who have appreciated his work have been missing out on some critical details for more than 100 years—revealed in the 2010s thanks to the Hubble Space Telescope.

A video at the bottom of the page will explain everything, but before we get there, let's do some backstory:

We known Van Gogh was an artist—and a genius artist at that—but, it turns out, he was also scientist. Kind of.

Whether intentionally or not, fresh eyes have found that Van Gogh's art—aside from being breathtaking—also captures one of science and nature's most elusive concepts: Turbulence.

The concept of turbulence is hard to understand with math, but it turns out art makes it fairly easy to comprehend through depiction. So, what is turbulence?

According to Britannica, turbulence, or turbulent flow, is a concept of fluid dynamics in which a type of fluid flow (liquid or gas like air or water or air) undergoes an irregular fluctuation or energy cascade. In other words, the air or water swirls and eddies as it moves: big eddies make smaller eddies, and those make even smaller ones, and so on. Common examples of turbulent flow include blood flow in arteries, lava flow, atmosphere and ocean currents, and the flow in boat wakes or surrounding the tips of aircraft wings.

It looks like this:

figures, flow, turbulence, turbulent flow, science, movementTurbulent flow illustrated and animated.All Van Gogh GIFs via TED-Ed.

The thing is, scientists only started figuring this out pretty recently.

turbulence, turbulent flow, science, nature, researchAnimation of art referencing science.All Van Gogh GIFs via TED-Ed.

And yet, there was Mr. Vincent van Gogh, 100 years earlier in his asylum with a mutilated ear and able to accurately capture this turbulent flow in what would become his most famous work, Starry Night.

Starry Night, Van Gogh, turbulence, art, art captures scienceAnimated Starry NightAll Van Gogh GIFs via TED-Ed.

The folks who noticed Van Gogh's ability to capture turbulence checked to see whether other artists did the same. Most of the Impressionists achieved "luminance" with their art—a striking and lifelike depiction of light's effect on color. While impressive, they did not capture or depict turbulence the way Van Gogh did.

The Scream, Edvard Munch, art, popular art, history, painting An animated depiction of The Scream.All Van Gogh GIFs via TED-Ed.

Not even Edvard Munch's The Scream, with it's swirling color and movement, could recreate what Van Gogh had accomplished.

Even in his darkest time, Van Gogh was able to capture—with eerie accuracy—one of nature's most complex and confusing concepts 100 years before scientists had the technology to do so.

Who would have thought that the beauty Van Gogh captured was foreshadowing what scientists would observe in the real, natural world in a century's time? To learn even more, watch the TED-Ed video below:

- YouTubeyoutu.be

This article originally appeared twelve years ago. It has been updated.

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Education

Retired teacher shares the biggest parenting mistake she saw throughout her career

A lot of parents are missing a very important point.

via Canva/Photos

A child who disagrees with her mother.

If an elementary school teacher starts their job right after finishing college and then works until they are 65, they’ll probably teach over 1200 students and interact with around 2,000 parents. That type of experience, paired with a great understanding of children, gives teachers incredible knowledge about what makes a great parent.

That experience can also help people understand where many parents need help these days. Elena Nicolaou, senior editor for “The Today Show,” asked her mother, a retired elementary school teacher, to share the most significant parenting mistake she had seen throughout her career, and it’s disappointing to hear. “They didn’t enjoy them,” she said. “Kids are fun. You’ve got to enjoy them. They wanted them to be something that — most of us aren’t exactly what other people want us to be — so enjoy the kid you have.”

“I enjoyed you,” the retired teacher said while looking at her daughter.

@elenanico22

Lisa says it like it is #momlife #momsoftiktok #momwisdom #momtok #momhumor #parenting #parentingwisdom

What’s one of the biggest mistakes parents make today?

The teacher’s advice reminds parents everywhere to see their children for who they are, not who they want them to be. Because there’s nothing worse in this world than being a square peg that our parents are trying to squeeze into a round hole. You may want your child to excel in sports, but maybe they are happiest and most successful in theater. You may push your child to be in beauty pageants when they want to play music. You may want your child to be stoic when they are really sensitive and artistic.

The teacher’s advice suggests that parents should help their children become their best rather than shaping them into something that conflicts with their inner nature.

parenting, parenting advice, good parentsA father listening to his son.via Canva/Photos

What is the problem with strict parenting?

The retired teacher shared what happens when parents push their children too far by using the example of a famous person at the school where she taught. “There was one very famous parent who, unfortunately, is sort of still involved now in politics,” the teacher said. “But he was a doctor then, and he was very strict about what his kids could eat. Like, super strict. So, of course, what did the kids want? Everything they couldn't have.”

There’s a reason why kids who have overly strict parents often rebel against how they were raised, whether it’s in a repressive household where they aren’t allowed to watch cartoons or a health-obsessed home where they couldn’t enjoy the occasional cookie. It’s a psychological phenomenon called “reactence.” When people feel their freedom is being threatened, they will become motivated to do the opposite of what they feel pressured to do. This can also be a problem when children are pushed to be something they are not.

“I call it the picture frame parent. As long as the kid looks like the perfect kid in a frame on their desk and the kid doesn’t mess up big enough to break that image, it’s all good,” one commenter wrote. “Toddler teacher. Same. So heartbreaking. I saw it a lot when I worked with highly educated parents with high incomes,” another added.

A great carpenter cuts with the grain just as a seasoned sailor adjusts to the wind and a master chef seasons according to taste, not just the recipe. So, according to this retired teacher, a good parent sees their child for who they are and tries to develop them into being the best version of themselves instead of pushing them to be someone they are not.

This article originally appeared in January

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Modern Families

Millenials share their boomer parents’ 15 quirky (and frustrating) habits they just don't get

"They act jealous of us traveling but refuse to go anywhere."

via Canva/Photos

Boomer parents who don't like to travel, but say they do.

When it comes to intergenerational conflict, you never hear too much about Gen Z having a hard time with Generation X or the silent generation having beef with the baby boomers. However, there seems to be some problem where baby boomers and millennials just can’t get on the same page.

Maybe it’s because millennials were raised during the technological revolution and have to help their boomer parents log into Netflix. There’s also a political divide: Millennials are a reliable liberal voting bloc, whereas boomers are the target demographic for Fox News. Both generations also have differing views on parenting, with boomers favoring an authoritative style over the millennials' gentler approach.

A Redditor asked Xennials, older millennials, and younger Gen Xers born between 1977 and 1983 to share some quirks of their boomer parents, and they created a fun list of habits that can be both endearing and frustrating. The users shared that millennials are frustrated with their parents' abilities to use technology but are touched when they send them a greeting card.



Of course, it is reductive to reduce generations into a series of stereotypes, whether it’s millennials or baby boomers. But, for many, hearing that they aren’t the only person who gets frustrated with their boomer parents can be pretty cathartic and make them feel less alone.

Here are 15 boomer parent quirks that Millenials just don’t understand.

1. They save everything

"They save EVERYTHING (containers, jars, boxes, etc.) just in case they might be able to use it for something later. I feel like this habit was handed down from our grandparents' Great Depression upbringing."

"Absolutely! Shopping bags, empty yogurt containers, boxes that some product came in…..although I love me a 'good box!' I have all my iPhone boxes for no reason."


person using laptop attach to vehicle near green leaf plant during daytime Photo by Brina Blum on Unsplash

2. Scary texts

"Will text something foreboding like 'we need to talk;' then turns out she forgot a recipe."

"My dad will text me 'You need to call me right now' when it’s nothing. And not tell me major life events until well after the fact. Like my aunt had a heart attack and I found out a week later from her son. (And my dad did know.)"



3. Stranger death toll

"My mom is ALWAYS telling me about dead people I’ve never met. I really do not care. I know that sounds awful, but I don’t have it in me to be sad for everyone on the planet when they pass."

“You remember my friend Carol? Her aunt had that above-ground swimming pool in her backyard. We swam in it a couple times one summer when you were about 9. Anyway, Carol’s mom just lost her brother-in-law. They were very close. Thought you’d want to know.”

4. They don't travel

"They act jealous of us traveling but refuse to go anywhere."

"Ooh good one. Mine act jealous of anything we do/buy that they can't solely because they can't get out of their own way and actually make things happen."


man and woman sitting on blue sofa Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash

5. They print everything

"My Boomer FIL prints out EVERYTHING from his computer. I understand printing out instructions or recipes to help remember but do you really need a file cabinet full of forwarded emails from friends and sale adverts from 5 years ago? Oh well, at least he keeps it organized. Also, both TVs in the house run 24/7 playing reruns of 'CSI: Who Gives a Sh*t Anymore?'"

"I'm not on Facebook, but my dad is. Last year, he made a celebratory post on my birthday and all his church friends liked and commented on it. He printed up the post and all of the comments, stapled it into a little book, and MAILED me the printed Facebook comments..."



6. 'From, dad' texts

"My dad sends text messages with, 'From, Dad' at the end of them. It cracks me up every time. He also states who he is every time he calls me."

7. Irrational fears

"One quirk my dad had was that he was deathly afraid of the house burning down. Not from the standpoint of the danger of fire but when he was growing up, if your house burnt down, you were basically homeless and destitute. My mom is much more level headed about it. She always told my dad, that is why we have homeowners insurance."


A man in a hard hat inspects an electrical boxman in brown and white plaid dress shirt and yellow hard hat holding black and orange Photo by Emmanuel Ikwuegbu on Unsplash

8. Expired food

"My mother-in-law doesn't throw out expired food. She has food in her pantry that is several years past their expiration dates. Same with condiments in her fridge. You just can't trust any of the food she has on hand because more than likely than not it's way expired. When we have brought this up, that she needs to throw some stuff out, she insists it's absolutely fine. It's not. "

"My grandmother is the same way. Once, she opened her refrigerator, and there was a jar of pickles with mold floating on the surface of the liquid. I pointed it out, and she said it was still good. She would just scoop the mold out at a later time. She has an incredibly strong stomach and immune system."



9. Smartphone addiction

"You always hear a kids 'these kids always on their damn phones.' But when it comes to phone addiction, boomers are far worse."

"My mom drives five hours to see us, then spends the whole time texting people from her church or looking at Facebook."

"I once sat in their living room for over an hour before they decided to put their phones down and speak to me, only to phub me and pick them right back up."

10. Rigid gender roles

"My dad still clings to the traditional division of 'men's/women's work.' He'll fix a car, do any outside work, clean out a clogged drain. Cooking? If it's any more complicated than making coffee or calling in a pizza, he can't/won't. I don't think he even grills anymore. Laundry? Hell no. Taking care of small children? He'll play with them but that's it."


A man stands over an open hood of a green carman in blue top fixing green car during daytime Photo by Elvis Bekmanis on Unsplash

11. The TV is constantly on

"In-laws leave the TV on for all waking hours. And FIL gets irritated if someone talks over the episode of MASH or Walker, Texas Ranger, that he's already seen 50 times. Like clenching his teeth and stomping the floor."

"TV on 24/7. Constantly flipping between some version of Law and Order, HGTV, and Guy Fieri. Asking me 'did you see that commercial where…' No mom. I don’t have cable. I don’t see commercials. All of the time."



12. They are always right

"My dad...he's has to be right about everything and doesn't know what to do if you beat him to the point on something. He once was giving me a recipe that required cinnamon, cardamon, and clove and told me just to use Pumpkin Pie Spice! It's the greatest thing! 'Dad, I don't need to. I have all those spices on hand (I bake)' But...no! You have to use this. 'No, I don't. I don't need to buy something that I already have" It happens all the time."

"My parents are always right and they are not impressed about anything."

13. Obsessed with the weather

"Yes, my dad should have been a meteorologist. He used to have a weather alert radio that would sound off in the middle of the night and he would watch the weather channel constantly. We all had to quiet down when your local weather forecast on the 8's came on. He gets really excited about severe weather like when we might get thunderstorms or a tornado."


Three people with umbrellas walk in the rainselective color photography of three person holding umbrellas under the rain Photo by Ryoji Iwata on Unsplash

14. One more thing

"Without fail, every time I'm leaving my mother's house and backing down the driveway, she comes back out of her house and stops me to say something else, even though we'd just spoken."

15. Mail stress

"My mom has an anxiety attack during the entire journey of a package or piece of mail she dispatched to me. No, she doesn’t know how to track. She will not rest until she knows that a package has arrived or a nominal check has been cashed. She calls when she is thinking about sending something, when she sent it, when it’s en route, and when it’s expected to arrive. God forbid it’s late. And if I don’t issue a prompt thank you, she will guilt me."

This story originally appeared in January.
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