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Teenager creates eye-opening videos that shatter stereotypes surrounding autism and girls

"I get that a lot, that because I'm good-looking, nothing can be wrong with me — so I want to show that mental illness is diverse."

Teenager creates eye-opening videos that shatter stereotypes surrounding autism and girls
via paigelayle / Instagram

The most recent data shows that about one in 68 children in the U.S. are affected by autism and boys are four times more likely than girls to be diagnosed.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is marked by communication and social difficulties, sensory processing issues, and inflexible patterns of behavior. Almost everything that researchers have learned about the disorder is based on data derived from studies of boys.

However, researchers are starting to learn that ASD manifests differently in girls. This has led many girls to be undiagnosed or misdiagnosed.

"The model that we have for a classic autism diagnosis has really turned out to be a male model," Susan F. Epstein, PhD, a clinical neuropsychologist said according to Child Mind.

"That's not to say that girls don't ever fit it, but girls tend to have a quieter presentation, with not necessarily as much of the repetitive and restricted behavior, or it shows up in a different way," Epstein added.

Stereotypical ASD behaviors may also get in the way of recognizing the disorder in girls.

"So where the boys are looking at train schedules, girls might have excessive interest in horses or unicorns, which is not unexpected for girls," Dr. Epstein notes. "But the level of the interest might be missed and the level of oddity can be a little more damped down. It's not quite as obvious to an untrained eye."

Girls with ASD are usually better at hiding their autistic behaviors, so they suffer in silence.

Paige Layle, a 19-year-old eyelash technician from Ontario, Canada, has autism but because she's a social butterfly, most people don't realize she has the disorder.

"I get that a lot, that because I'm good-looking, nothing can be wrong with me — so I want to show that mental illness is diverse," Layle told BuzzFeed.

To help people better understand how autism manifests in girls and women, Layle has made a series of videos on her TikTok page.

"I decided to start making videos because of an audio that was going all over TikTok that was making fun of autistic people. I hated it. I feel like many people don't understand how many people are autistic," she said.

Layle's videos are eye-opening because they shatter some big myths about autism and show how difficult it can be to live with the disorder, especially if you don't know you have it.

@paigelayle learn more about autism! :) i get many questions every day to make more vids about it, i will continue to show you guys! #feature #fup #fyp #featureme ♬ original sound - paigelayle

In the first video, she explains how the initial research done on autism was only on boys or men.

"Girls usually end up showing different traits than guys do. Which is why it can take us years to get diagnosed. I was 15 when I got diagnosed and that's considered early for a girl."

She also explains that girls often are diagnosed later because they are better at hiding autistic behaviors.

"This is something we call masking. Masking is basically just being like a really good actor.

It's where you take traits that everyone else is showing and start portraying them as yourself. It's like a lot of copying going on. ... In your mind you don't think you're copying. You think that this is normal and everyone feels the same way you do.


You basically feel like an alien and you're really good at hiding that. Which is why I don't seem autistic."

In part two, she discusses the idea of being high-functioning.

@paigelayle no such thing as high/ low functioning autism!!! it’s just how YOU perceive us. not about how we’re affected. #feature #featureme #fup #fyp ♬ original sound - paigelayle

"Get high-functioning and low functioning out of your vocabulary. It doesn't help anybody. I know you may think that saying 'Oh like you're high-functioning' is compliment. It's not a compliment. It's also like a reminder that I'm just masking, and it's so hard.

Masking is the most exhausting thing in the world... 'High-functioning' is basically a label that you can use to be like 'Your autism doesn't affect me that much.' But I'll tell you that everyone you think is high-functioning is greatly affected by their autism."

In part three, Paige discusses common autistic traits that girls have.

@paigelayle more on special interests later ☺️ #feature #autism #fyp #fyp #featureme ♬ original sound - paigelayle

"I am overly social. I give way too much eye contact. I'm really good in social situations. It's also very common for girls with autism to have other mental disabilities or mental disorders as well. I have seven and one of the main ones is OCD.

All of these mental illnesses stem from having autism. But OCD, anxiety, and depression are very common, especially in girls. Just the feeling that the world needs rules for you to understand it. That's why a lot of autism special interests include things like anatomy, the human body, psychology, just figuring out how the world works is our way to figure out how to live in it."

In part four, Paige discusses the topic of masking.

@paigelayle ahhh masking. can’t live with you, can’t live without you. #feature #fup #fyp #featureme #autism ♬ original sound - paigelayle

"When you're in the autistic closet and you are not known to be autistic yet ... you like subconsciously know that you're weird and you don't know how to act or how to be.

It's like the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you wear your hair, like your mannerisms. Like everything you say. Everything you think. Everything you think that you enjoy. It's all what you are accustomed to from your peers.

I've been diagnosed for four years and I'm still trying to figure out who I am and what I actually like to do. You just get to used to creating this mask that when it's like 'Hey, you can take it off,' It's like what the frick is underneath it? I don't know what's going on."


This story originally appeared on 03.11.20

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Woman builds an elaborate hotel in her yard for stray cats to stay cozy through the winter

People are calling it "Hotel Catifornia" and "The Fur Seasons."

A woman in China provides a cozy home for stray cats in her neighborhood.

As winter approaches, people may wonder how stray animals stay warm and safe. Stray cats in particular are highly adaptable creatures and their home is the great outdoors, so most of the time there's not much that people need to do to protect them. But when temperatures dip to dangerous levels, caring humans naturally want to make sure strays have a place to go to get out of the harsh elements.

One woman has taken that desire to a whole new level with an elaborate cat apartment she built for the many stray cats in her neighborhood. We're not just talking about a shelter–it's like luxury hotel living for her feline friends. The apartment has multiple rooms, cushy blankets that get taken out and cleaned and even a temperature-controlled water source so they're always able to find drinking water in frigid temps.

Check this out:

The woman who built the apartment actually lives in China and shares videos on TikTok.

Welcome to the Meowtel Catifornia

Of course, the clever hotel jokes and puns started rolling in first thing:

'Welcome to the hotel catifornia."

"Such a lovely place."

"They can check out any time but they won't ever leave ^^"

"I prefer Hotel Calicofornia."

"Meowriott."

"Given my skill, mine would be more like Meowtel 6."

"Pawliday Inn.'

"The Fur Seasons."'

"Meowne Plaza."

People loved seeing the care and ingenuity she put into the "meowtel," as well as how happy the cats seem with the arrangement. In fact, some people were sure their own house cats would move out just to go live in this kind of cat commune.

"My cat just looked at me and sighed…"

"All the neighbours be looking for their cats and they’ve bailed to live at the kitty motel."

"They’d pack their little bags and move in without a second thought."

"They wouldn't even wait to pack their bags."

"Alright Carol it’s been real but we’re gonna head out. Found a great deal on a luxury apartment so yanno… take care."


@5fimnl9m

Create a single apartment on the third floor of a four story winter cat shelter for stray cats#fyp #cat #cute #Straycat#salvation

Cats live where they want when they want

Those people may have been joking, but several people shared that their cats really did ditch them to go live with neighbors who had more desirable living situations.

"I’ve had two cats do this. One was annoyed at our second dog’s puppy energy so she moved in with an older lady a street over. We used to see her all the time until she passed. The other missed our kids being little so she moved next door where there’s a little girl. We talked to both neighbors and said if they get sick of them to let us know and we’ll take them back but both lived the rest of their lives with their new families."

"One of our cats moved next door because he loves children and wanted to be with the little girl next door. Because it’s a very small village, he goes to the school most days to wait for her and they come home together. School is 3 buildings away."

"We had a cat do the same thing about 20 years ago. She hated the barks of our new puppy and would put her paw on his mouth to try and stop it. One day, she slipped outside and I found her a month later, two streets over, hanging with a couple who didn’t have a dog. They said she just showed up at the door and moved in. I gave them all her cat food and hope she had a nice quiet life."


@5fimnl9m

After two months of production and renovation, the basic facilities for wintering stray cats in the courtyard are almost complete#fyp #cat #cute #Straycat #salvation

Is it a bad idea to feed and shelter stray cats?

People have differing opinions about whether it's good to feed stray cats or not, as cats can cause problems for local wildlife and it's not great to encourage an increasing stray cat population. However, there are responsible ways to care for stray cats, which includes spaying and neutering those in your area.

According to the Feral Cat Coalition of Oregon, here are the best practices for feral and stray cats:

- Spay/neuter to prevent additional litters

- Find homes for friendly cats

- Feed outdoor cats on a schedule

- Remove food & dishes when they are done eating

- Pick up scraps and keep the feeding area tidy

- Provide fresh water

- Provide a warm place for the cats to sleep

So go ahead and care for those kitties and keep them warm through the winter—just make sure they can't make any more kittens.



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A 96-year-old man shares the secret to keeping a best friend for 90 years

He met his friend George when he was 5.

via Canva

An old man's hands.

One of the most depressing facts of life is that studies show that after age 25, we start to lose friends at a rapid pace and there are many reasons for this. Around this time, people begin to take their careers seriously; they may get into a serious relationship and move in with someone, or they may already have children.

This leaves less time for you to hang out with your friends, and unlike during your school years, there are fewer situations in which to meet new people and form relationships. Yes, people may meet new people through work, but professional dynamics can make it hard to develop true friendships.

After the age of 25, if you don’t make a concerted effort to keep up with the friends you made earlier in life, it’s easy for them to drift away. That’s why a story out of Liverpool, England, is so heartwarming. A pair of men named George, George Price, 96, and George Foukes, 95, are celebrating their 90th year of friendship.

The story was recently covered in the Liverpool Echo.



The two boys met in 1934 while living on the same street in Wirral, a peninsula in northwest England. Back then, there wasn’t much to do at home, so the boys ran through the streets and played at the local park on the swings. In addition to the 2 Georges, there were 3 other boys in their friend group, but sadly they have passed away.

Price attributes the length of their friendship to the fact that they always worked to stay in touch. "As you grow up and become older, friends come and go, and there may be times when you don’t see each other as much. However, me and my friend George have always kept in touch, and he rings me on the phone most evenings,” Price told the Liverpool Echo.

So how did the two Georges stay friends for so long? “Knowing nice people is key,” he said. “You choose who your friends are, and they are an extension of you. Choosing friends who share similar values, morals and qualities to you is important.”

How to keep a lifelong friendship

When Price says the key to his lifelong friendship with Foukes is putting in the effort to stay in touch, he hits the nail on the head. Therapists say one of the most important things we can do is make time for our friends, no matter how hard it is with family and professional commitments.

“Whether that’s meeting for lunch, responding to texts in a timely fashion, or scheduling a Zoom happy hour, it’s important to set aside time to connect with one another,” Mac Stanley Cazeau, LMHC, a couples therapist in New York City, tells WebMD.

Cazeau adds that having a balanced relationship with plenty of give and take is also important because one-sided friendships won’t stand the test of time. “Be as good to your friends as you want them to be to you,” Cazeau says, adding that it’s always important to lend an impartial ear. “Being a safe space where your friend can share and vent without judgment can be vital to their mental health,” Cazeau says.

The 2 Georges friendship is an excellent example for all of us, especially if you’re at the age where it’s easy to attribute losing friends to the passing of time. The 2 Georges have shown that if you put effort into your relationships, they can last a lifetime.

Family

Mom took heat for cleaning her teen's bedroom. Her response was a lesson in grace.

She won the #CleanTok controversy.

@organizedchaos4/TikTok

"It costs you nothing, and it creates this ripple effect of kindness."

The corner of the internet devoted to grime and muck being scrubbed away to oh-so satisfying perfection, otherwise known as #CleanTok, is mostly wholesome, cathartic fun. But every once in a while, controversy comes in.

For a mom named Audrey (who clearly has a passion for cleaning hacks, given her TikTok handle of @organizedchaos4), that moment came after she filmed herself doing a deep clean on her 12-year-old daughter’s room. Several people chimed in to accuse her of spoiling her kid, essentially.

Granted, Audrey admitted that she had posted the video “hoping that the trolls would get those thumbs a-movin’.” So when they did indeed come after her, she was ready.

“I surprised my daughter by cleaning her room for her. She's been getting herself up for 6 a.m. practices, she gets herself to school, she's out of the house before the rest of us have even woken up,” Audrey says in the clip.

“Keep in mind she's 12. In return for all that she's been doing, I thought it would be a nice treat if I just did a quick speed clean of her room. It was no big deal.”

Audrey goes on to say that the point of her follow-up video was to reiterate the importance of “extending grace.”


@organizedchaos4 When we throw empathy out the window, we throw grace out the window. If you saw the video and your first reaction was to say, “why isn’t she doing it herself?” Ask yourself, “have I EVER left a room messy because I was overwhelmed, tired, busy?” If so, then you are in no position to judge a child for the same thing. #grace #kindness #help #parenting #cleaning #kids #mom ♬ original sound - Organized Chaos | Audrey


That's what I did for my daughter. She had fallen behind on her room and I helped her.,” she says. “It costs you nothing, and it creates this ripple effect of kindness. We all have setbacks, we all have failures, we all make mistakes and if you say you don't you're lying. By extending grace we are spreading kindness, we are spreading compassion. If you can't extend grace to your own children then there's no way you're going to extend it to anyone else in the world and that's a scary world to live in.”

Audrey then argues that being kind to others often makes it “easier” to be kind to ourselves, which is “vital for our mental health.”

She then concludes, “so if you watched the video yesterday or you're watching this one today and you're thinking negative thoughts, ask yourself, ‘Am I quick to judge, be resentful, be negative or am I quick to extend grace or ask yourself have I ever stumbled and wish grace had been extended to me?’”

Down in the comments, we see that Audreynis certainly not alone in her thinking.

“Kindness costs nothing and provides everything,” one person wrote.

“This will only inspire your daughter to keep working hard and give back when she has a chance to, and know she can rely on you when she struggles,” added another.

Several other moms even chimed in about doing something similar for their kids.

“Exactly I did the same thing for my 23-year-old daughter who works full-time and is a full-time college student. She’s 100% independent. I just want to take some off stress off her plate,” one mom shared

Another said, “I do this for my daughter still, and it's her house.”

As with all things in parenting, balance is key. Of course we don’t want to instill laziness, but at the same time, kids can’t be expected to overachieve in all areas, at all times. Adults can’t even manage this without a little help. Sounds like this is truly a case of a good kid acting as responsibly as humanly possible, and a mom just wanting to help out where she can, all why'll teaching her the world can be a safe place. Hard to see anything wrong with that.

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People swear by these 13 easy techniques they use to fall asleep fast

Which one will work for you?

via Canva

A woman sound asleep.

If you’re having trouble sleeping, you’re not alone. A study from 2020 found that 14.5% of adults had trouble falling asleep most days. More than a third of Americans report getting less than 7 hours of sleep over 24 hours and 13.5% say they feel exhausted most days.

When you get a bad night’s sleep, you feel terrible the next day, but that’s just half the problem. Sleep deficiency is linked to heart disease, kidney disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, stroke, obesity and depression.

To help people get a better night’s rest, a Redditor named AdOld2060 asked the AskReddit subforum, “What’s your secret to falling asleep quickly?” They received over 100 responses, with people sharing their methods to fall asleep at night.

The responses ranged from a military hack to a detailed visualization that the Redditor claims helps them fall asleep in minutes. The cool thing is that many techniques were varied, so if one doesn’t work for you, the next one could.


How to fall asleep fast

Here are 13 of the best responses to the question: What’s your secret to falling asleep quickly?

1. The military method

1. Relax your entire face, including the muscles inside your mouth.
2. Drop your shoulders to release the tension and let your hands drop to the side of your body.
3. Exhale, relaxing your chest.
4. Relax your legs, thighs, and calves.
5. Clear your mind for 10 seconds by imagining a relaxing scene.
6. If this doesn’t work, try saying the words “don’t think” over and over for 10 seconds.
7. Within 10 seconds, you should fall asleep!

2. ASMR

"I love falling asleep to those asmr live streams on TikTok."

3. Relax your head and shoulders

"Intentionally relaxing my head and shoulders. Get all snuggly in the blankets, release that tension and melt into the pillow. Zzzzzz."

4. Meditation

"I meditate and breathe deeply to relax before sleeping."

"Deep breathing works well for me. Also, weirdly, if I start thinking about something like the logistics of moving 20 people into my house I drift off easily."



5. Melatonin

"Your body creates melatonin on its own. The stuff they sell is just a supplement and gives you a little bump of it before bedtime."

6. Extreme stillness

"I don’t allow myself to move around. Once I lay down I get comfortable and then stop moving. I don’t scratch an itch. I don’t move at all. I just lay there and daydream. If I start moving around, I will never sleep! But if I make myself lay perfectly still I fall asleep."

7. Reading

"I read until I can't remember the sentence I just read...but if the book is too good it is counterproductive."

How to fall asleep quickly

8. A boat visualization

"I have something that I came up with that usually works for me. I get myself comfortable, laying on my back, arms by my sides, close my eyes and imagine I'm in a small boat on a wide expanse of calm ocean with sunshine and clear blue skies. I imagine the boat is rocking gently and the sun is shining down on me. I just lie there for a couple of minutes enjoying the quiet, the warmth and the rocking motion and I usually drift off to sleep quickly. Admittedly I think I have a really good imagination , which helps, but it works for me."



9. Count to 100

"Relax everything, and just count to 100. If I reach 100, then I start going back to 0 and so forth. Very rarely do I make it to 100 and back to 0. I usually fall asleep before I get to 100."

10. Slow breaths

"I can fall asleep anywhere, anytime, regardless of the environment, if I choose to. I start taking really long, slow, intentional breaths. Inhale as slow, long, and deep as possible, filling my lungs to max capacity. Exhale the same way. By the third or fourth breath, I’m out."

11. Cognitive shuffle

"I saw it on reddit about 9 months ago and its been working really well for me, its called Cognitive Shuffle. There are multiple ways to do it, but basically, you think of something random and boring like 'dog' or 'car,' then picture it in your mind for a few seconds, then shift to some other random word and picture that. Another way to do it is to pick a word and come up with 5 random words for each letter and try to picture each one before moving to the next. By the 4th or 5th random word you can feel your self switching off and if you keep at out you'll be out soon. I've ALWAYS had trouble turning my brain off when its time to sleep and this method has worked wonders for me."

12. Fantaszie

"I get really involved in detailed non-sexual fantasies, space travel, superhero powers that type of thing. Out like a light."

13. A regular schedule

"Disciplined bedtimes. I found that if I force myself to sleep within a certain point almost every day I will automatically feel tired by that time. 10pm is my sweet spot. I get 9 hrs nearly every day. If I stay up it’s still at least 7 hrs."









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Barber finds calling walking neurodivergent children through haircuts free of charge

"As a special education teacher, YES YES YES TO EVERYTHING."

Photo credit: Canva

Barber walks autistic boy through first haircut in years

Haircuts are a pretty typical part of life but the mundane activity can be overwhelming for some people, especially children who are neurodivergent. Some kids have a hard time sitting still for the length of time it takes to get a proper haircut while others are overstimulated by the lights, sounds and feelings that come with a haircut.

Getting a quick trim may be much easier for some because it doesn't require the use of clippers which can be loud and tickle. Vernon Jackson, owner of The Gifted Event has become known for his ability to cut neurodivergent children's hair in a way that allows them to feel safe. The Gifted Event is a program Jackson runs from his barbershop allowing him to provide haircuts hair free of charge for the families of neurodivergent and special needs children.

Recently, Jackson uploaded a video that shows exactly how he walks his young clients through getting their haircut and it's really striking a chord with people. The barber is in his shop ready to go when a young autistic boy, Harry is brought in for a haircut. The boy has very long hair that's pulled back in a ponytail. You can visibly see Harry's hesitation along with the nerves of his mom, Brittany.

Scarlett Johansson GIF by NETFLIXGiphy

"He's had haircuts in the past but it was when he was much younger and definitely more into it but now even brushing his hair, washing his hair is difficult," Brittany explains to Jackson before sharing that Harry normally wants "no part" of clippers or scissors.

Though the nervous mom assures Jackson that she understands if the haircut can't happen due to her child's response, this didn't deter the man who has found these haircuts to be a calling. Before getting Harry in the chair, Jackson softens his tone while encouraging the boy to give him a high-five. It took some coaxing of a couple high-fives, a side hug and Jackson holding him by the hand to walk him to the chair. Every step of the way, Jackson asked for the boy's permission before doing anything allowing him to be in control of the pace of the appointment.

@thegiftedeventoff 🌟✨ Watch this incredible haircut transformation! ✂️💖 I help neurodivergent kids conquer their fears, and this one is our biggest yet! Every haircut is FREE for families, thanks to your amazing donations. 🙌💙 Want to make a difference? Donate a haircut at thegiftedevent.com! Or click the link in my bio! Let’s spread the love and break barriers together! 💪💫 #HaircutHeroes #Neurodiversity #Transformations ♬ original sound - TheGiftedEventOfficial

Once the boy was in the chair, even adjusting the height of the chair was a bit of a challenge when the barber moved just a little too fast. Jackson immediately noticed Harry's fear and asked to raise the chair at a slow one pump at a time. The boy agreed and before too long the cape was on and the process was starting. To get the kids to look down when needed, Jackson allows them to pick out one of the action figures he keeps in the barber shop. Harry chose Spider Man.

But before any cutting got started, Jackson prepped the boy on what was about to happen, "alright Harry, this is called a clipper. Have you ever seen it before? Do you want to feel it? Feel it. See how it vibrates? Do you want to feel it right here?"

man shaving the boy's hair Photo by Jonathan Weiss on Unsplash

Jackson put the clipper against his own arm before putting it against Harry's arm, "That's all that does, it just vibrates, okay? It's all it does. Does it tickle? A little bit?" He then places the vibrating clipper in different spots on the boy's head asking him if it was okay. Once Jackson gets the all clear from Harry, he begins the cut.

While Harry keeps scrunching into his shoulders, he's allowing Jackson to not only use sheers to cut off his long ponytail, but to use the clippers to buzz the sides. The child's comfort level causes a woman who is attending the appointment with Harry to excitedly try to get in front of the pair to take a picture or video. This moment results in Jackson asserting a boundary for the boy and himself to keep Harry's stimulation level as low as possible in that moment.

@thegiftedeventoff 🌟✨ Watch this incredible haircut transformation! ✂️💖 I help neurodivergent kids conquer their fears, and this one is our biggest yet! Every haircut is FREE for families, thanks to your amazing donations. 🙌💙 Want to make a difference? Donate a haircut at thegiftedevent.com! Or click the link in my bio! Let’s spread the love and break barriers together! 💪💫 #HaircutHeroes #Neurodiversity #Transformations ♬ original sound - TheGiftedEventOfficial

"No, no, no. If you want to record, record from back there. I don't want you interact with him while he's still focused right now. You can record if you want to do a video. I just don't want the interaction while I got him calm," Jackson asserts.

At this point the bulk of the haircut is complete but he still needs to line up the back and edges while Harry is tolerating the buzzing, so Jackson offers the boy his hand while he cuts with the other. The end results are so amazing that while Harry doesn't speak many words, he can't contain his excitement, neither can his sister and mom. It's contagious as commenters also cant stop gushing over the patience of Jackson and the results of the haircut.

@thegiftedeventoff These moments make what i do extremely worth it! To donate a haircut • learn my techniques via my online course • or to book click the link in my bio or visit thegiftedevent.com
♬ original sound - TheGiftedEventOfficial

Someone writes, "as a special education teacher, YES YES YES TO EVERYTHING 10 ACROSS-THE-BOARD THIS is how you work!!!!!!!"

"He did soooo good. I love how he was slumped over in fear at first and then gained so much confidence and trust towards the end. You are so AWESOME," another shares.

"He looks amazing. And I love how you explained to them what you were doing and to give him space to have his own experience," one person gushes.

"I love how he stopped the woman because he knew, that might be too much right now. Not being disrespectful but being firm, for the kids own good assertive skills right there," someone else noted.

Harry's mom even chimed in with an update for the barber saying, "We couldn’t be more grateful to you for what you’ve done for us! Harry loves his cut and cannot stop admiring himself! Still cracking up over the hairdryer!"

The Gifted Event runs strictly off of donations in order to provide free appointments to the families that visit the barbershop. Anyone can donate a haircut for a family in need by going to thegiftedevent.com.

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