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stress

Marcos Alberti's "3 Glasses" project began with a joke and a few drinks with his friends.

The photo project originally depicted Alberti's friends drinking, first immediately after work and then after one, two, and three glasses of wine.

But after Imgur user minabear circulated the story, "3 Glasses" became more than just a joke. In fact, it went viral, garnering more than 1 million views and nearly 1,800 comments in its first week. So Alberti started taking more pictures and not just of his friends.



"The first picture was taken right away when our guests (had) just arrived at the studio in order to capture the stress and the fatigue after a full day after working all day long and from also facing rush hour traffic to get here," Alberti explained on his website. "Only then fun time and my project could begin. At the end of every glass of wine, a snapshot, nothing fancy, a face and a wall, 3 times."

Why was the series so popular? Anyone who has ever had a long day at work and needed to "wine" down will quickly see why.

Take a look:

Photos of person after drinking glasses of win

All photos by Marcos Alberti, used with permission.

assets.rebelmouse.io

Photos of person after drinking glasses of win

assets.rebelmouse.io

This article originally appeared on 11.19.16

Family

Concerning study details how perfectionism affects college students

For years, we've told our kids that they have to be perfect to succeed. Turns out, they might have been listening.

Canva

Chasing perfection leads to nowhere but exhaustion

For years, we've told our kids that they have to be perfect to succeed. Turns out, they might have been listening.

If you feel anxiety about slipping up — like, the tiniest mistake is irrefutable evidence that you're secretly a failure — you might not be alone.

A study suggests that, compared to young people 30 years ago, more college students are, or feel expected to be, perfectionists — and that might be a problem.


Two scientists from the United Kingdom analyzed personality tests from over 41,000 American, Canadian, and British college students, dating from 2016 back to the late 1980s, comparing three different kinds of perfectionism and how much they've gone up or down over time.Overall, the data showed:

  • A 33% increase in young people feeling judged by society for not being perfect (for example, "My parents will be mad if I get less than an A").
  • A 16% increase in young people judging others ("I have no patience for my partner's mistakes").
  • And a 10% increase in self-judgment ("I am upset that I didn't get 100% on that test"). Americans seemed especially self-judgey.

This incessant drive to be perfect might be stressing us out to a sickening degree.

Being a perfectionist may seem OK at first. It seems like nearly every single job posting these days specifically asks for someone detail-oriented. ("I'm a perfectionist" is a go-to answer to the classic biggest-weakness interview question for a reason.)

Yet perfectionism has been linked to mental health problems like depression and anxiety, which young people seem to be especially vulnerable to these days.

One problem appears to be how society defines — and demands — success.

The authors weren't able to test the exact cause for this, but they have some ideas. One contributing factor might be our increasingly success-obsessed society. Since the '80s, we've taken the idea of meritocracy and mythologized it.

"Meritocracy places a strong need for young people to strive, perform and achieve in modern life," said author Dr. Thomas Curran in a press release. "Young people are responding by reporting increasingly unrealistic educational and professional expectations for themselves.”

Other possible causes might be parents demanding more out of their children than they did in the 1980s and/or the panopticon of social media.

If perfectionism really is both problematic and on the rise, it's not going to be an easy problem to solve. But there are potential solutions.

Curran and his co-author, Dr. Andrew Hill, did not address specific solutions in the current paper, but, when asked, Curran said:

"We (my group) typically advocate balanced working lives, regular breaks from the social evaluation of social media, a focus [on] one’s own accomplishments (not others'), and depressurized environments that do not hold excessive expectations or perfection as criteria for success."

(By the way, if you need help with this, psychologist Tamar Chansky wrote a list eight personal strategies over at HuffPost. Alternatively, this might be something to unpack with a therapist.)

perfectionism, habits, changes, reality

8 Strategies For Making A Better Life

www.huffpost.com

In addition, Curran suggested that it might be time for schools, universities, and other organizations to teach the importance of compassion over competition. He and his co-author have previously praised Google's program of rewarding both successes and failures.

So while it might be admirable to aim for that gold star, it's important to remember that mistakes happen. It's OK not to be perfect.

Photo by Nicolas Ruiz on Unsplash

The weight of a glass with water used as an analogy for stress.

"How heavy is this glass of water?"

That was a simple question posed by a professor to his students. This video initially came out in 2019, but recently was reposted by @thementorhouse on TikTok and has gone viral yet again.

The students began to guess. 8 oz? 12? 16?

Their answers all received a shake of the professor's head, because the lesson wasn't about physics. It was about stress.


With a gentle sincerity, he tells the class, "The absolute weight of the glass doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold onto it. If I hold it for a minute, nothing happens. If I hold it for an hour, my arm will begin to ache. If I hold it all day long, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. While the weight of the glass hasn't changed, the longer I hold onto it the heavier it becomes."

Nods of agreement fill the room, and the professor continues.

"The stresses and the worries of life are like this glass of water. If you think about them for a little while, there's no problem. You think about it for a little bit longer … it begins to hurt. You think about them all day long and you'll feel paralyzed, incapable of doing anything."

Placing the glass on his desk, the professor concludes, "Always remember: put the glass down."

@thementorhouse

POWERFUL story on stress.

♬ original sound - The Mentor House

This video seems to be a staged reenactment of a lesson originally taught by a female psychologist (or at least, that seems to be how the story goes). However, the moral stays the same: Carrying the burden of the past memories—or fears about the future—causes unnecessary pain. Find a way to lighten the emotional load, otherwise you'll be weighed down and unable to move freely.

Letting go sounds easy in theory. But it's often easier said than done. PTSD, chaotic homes and unfair systems make stress next to inescapable. There are some proven ideas for "putting the glass down" though, even when it's difficult. Things like:

  • Writing out your negative thoughts
  • Calling a supportive person
  • Taking a walk in nature
  • Cuddling with a furry friend
  • Listening to empowering, uplifting music

No matter what glass of water you're holding onto at the moment, setting it aside, even momentarily, whenever possible might be the best way to overcome it. After all, everyone deserves a lighter load these days.

The holidays are the most wonderful and maybe the most stressful time of year. Transforming our homes into places of peace and serenity can give us, and those we love, refuge from the storm.

A peaceful home starts in our heads and hearts. That said, there are a number of affordable items that can profoundly help set the stage for a low-stress environment. Here are a few of our favorites -- let us know in the comments which items you think should be added to the list and we'll update here!


1. Essential Oil Roll-On



Essential oils are, well, essential stress reducers. This simple roll-on is only $10 and infused with all-natural coconut. You can take it almost anywhere but we suggest keeping one in a familiar place at home, maybe where you keep your keys.

Chill (Stress Reducer and Relaxation) Essential Oil Roll On, Pre-Diluted 10ml (1/3 fl oz), $9.95-$12.95; at Amazon
2. Acupressure Mat


Image via Amazon

Ok, get admit that stepping on a spiky mat doesn't sound super relaxing at first glance. But trust, when you do try it out, you won't look back. Acupressure has been used for thousands of years and there's growing scientific evidence to support its use for a number of health benefits. The one that seems most certain: stress relief. And this mat is incredibly versatile, you can stand on it, lay down and even rest your head on the accompanying acupressure pillow for neck relief. It just 5-10 minutes you'll be transported to a very different state of mind. It works great both for decompressing after a long day or for getting energized and centered before you head out into the world.

ProsourceFit Acupressure Mat and Pillow Set for Back/Neck Pain Relief and Muscle Relaxation, $19.99; at Amazon

3. Scalp Massager



Good luck spending more than a few seconds with this one and not turning into a puddle of chill. At just over $10 and with a near five star rating on Amazon, it's one of the cheapest and most-effective immediate forms of physical and mental relaxation. You can use it on yourself or coax a lucky partner into taking turns. Seriously, this will make you understand how a very good dog or cat feels when getting a loving scratch from their human friends. It's amazing and makes for a perfect stocking stuffer or holiday party gift as well.

Scalp Massager,Handheld Claw Head Massager for Deep Relaxation & Stress Reduction in The Office Home SPA. Dark Blue and Green(2-Pack), $10.99; at Amazon

4. Essential Oil Diffuser



This is a must-have for any stress free home. You can choose between a nearly endless variety of scents depending on what effect you're aiming for. Peppermint is our personal favorite as it helps clean the air while creating a relaxing and yet energized atmosphere. Lavender is great for pure relaxation and other popular scents include orange, cedar and vanilla. They're also a handy tool if you have pets, as the peppermint scent helps to mask pet odors and is non-toxic. The typical diffuser lasts 5-10 hours and only requires a few drops of oil, along with around a half cup of water. Most diffusers also have a lighting system, which can enhance the relaxing vibe and also serve as a nightlight if you have them in a child's bedroom or just need a little extra illumination while you sleep. If you prefer less light, you can turn that option off or go with a model that has a chill faux wood grain.

URPOWER 2nd Version Essential Oil Diffuser Aroma Essential Oil Cool Mist Humidifier with Adjustable Mist Mode,Waterless Auto Shut-Off and 7 Color LED Lights Changing for Home, $16.99; at Amazon

5. Portable Back Massager



OK, this is truly a must-have. You've probably seen countless different massage tools. Heck, you may have even bought one or two already. And let's guess: you probably never use it, right? How many of us are realistically going to take the time to run a hand-held massage wand across our back and shoulders? Not many. But there's something almost irresistible about having a personal massage at our disposal. And this thing works! So well! You literally just rest it on your shoulders and go. You can enjoy it sitting down, laying down, or while walking around making dinner or talking on the phone. It has adjustable options for heat, reverse direction, adjustable intensity and timed shut off so you can just relax and let its "hands" go to work. The portable factor is also a cool addition for the tech-savvy member of your household. Seriously, you can't go wrong with this one.

Back Massager, Shiatsu Back Neck Massager with Heat, Electric Shoulder Massager, Kneading Massage Pillow for Neck, Back, Shoulder, Foot, Leg, Muscle Pain Relief, Home,Office,Car Use, $49.99; at Amazon


6. Meditation Cushion



In one of the great ironies, meditation is often intimidating and stressful for people who are new to it. And yet, with as little as a few minutes, it can literally change your entire outlook on life. Meditation has been scientifically proven to reduce stress, improving overall mood and even resulting in tangible health benefits. And when in doubt, always remind yourself: There is no wrong way to meditate. There are, however, some ways to make the journey a little easier. And one of the key items to get anyone started, or back into, their meditation routine is the right cushion. There are a ton of options for people with leg and back issues but a standard pillow like this one is a safe bet. Experiment with different sitting styles and check out some YouTube tutorial on getting started with meditation. There are a number of free apps like HeadSpace that can get you started as well. This also make an excellent gift for anyone that's expressed an interest in meditation but just needs a loving nudge to get started.
Seat Of Your Soul 2019 Meditation Cushion - Comfortable, Supportive & Durable Organic Cotton & Adjustable Buckwheat Filling | 7 Colors Crescent, Round Or Zabuton | Zafu Yoga Pillow, $32.99; at Amazon


7. Memory Foam Slippers



Oh heck yes. Slip these babies on and you'll never want to take them off. In some countries and cultures like South Korea it is considered proper to remove one's shoes and walk around in similar house slippers. And we couldn't agree more. Slippers no longer are reserved for nighttime or winter holidays. It's impossible to not move around with a calm grace when wearing these. With more than 5,000 five star reviews on Amazon, this has become one of the most popular slippers in the world. They are machine washable, come in a variety of colors and are very durable in case you need to run outside to meet your friendly Postmates courier. Or, maybe that's just us. Either way, these are a must-have for every member of your stress free household. And at around $20, they are an absolute bargain.

RockDove Men's Original Two-Tone Memory Foam Slipper, $19.99; on Amazon


8. Indoor Relaxation Fountain


The sound of gently running water is a universally relaxing sensation. Many experts have speculated that the sound of running water is deeply embedded in our DNA. Whatever the reason, it works and that's enough for us. However, not even has the luxury of living near a calming brook or within earshot of the ocean's cascading waves. Thankfully, there is an affordable solution. This small, indoor waterfall is just over $20 and is worth every penny. Visually, it conveys an immediate sense of peace and calm and is very stylish. The three-tiered fountain is controlled with a simple on/off switch, meaning you can run it through the day (or night) and turn it off when you leave for work or a social event. It's small enough that it makes a great gift for the holidays or a pick-me-up present for anyone who has too much stress in their lives.

HoMedics Silver Springs Indoor Relaxation Fountain, Illuminated Waterfall, Automatic Pump


GOOD Media Group may receive a percentage of revenue from items purchased that are mentioned in this article