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Man shares 8-word phrase that he learned from mentor to avoid burnout and be a better professional.

Burnout is a real struggle among American workers. According to a 2025 study released by Moodle, 66% of Americans reported feeling burnout from their jobs. And in another 2025 workplace poll conducted by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), workers reported high rates of “burnout,” “stress,” and “overwhelm.”

To help others, a man struggling with burnout in his career shared in a since deleted Reddit post how his mentor taught him a simple phrase to use with his boss to better manage expectations while seemingly helping him appear more professional.

"A lot of us early in our careers say yes to everything. That’s how you burn out fast," he wrote, before sharing that a mentor taught him an eight-word phrase that helped save his career: "I can do it, but not by then."

burnout, feeling burned out, burned out, stressed, exhausted Tired TV Land GIF by TV Land Classic Giphy

He went on to explain, "Instead of: 'I can’t take this on', say: 'I can take this on, but realistically it’ll be done by [X date].' This does three things: Shows you’re willing, not lazy. Sets realistic boundaries without burning bridges. Teaches others to respect your time."

The employee concluded, "The irony? You’ll usually be seen as more professional — not less — because you’re managing expectations instead of dropping the ball."

The advice resonated with many other workers, who also shared how they manage their boss' expectations of them.

"So true," one commented. "Setting expectations early and offering a realistic alternative saves so much headache down the road."

@melrobbins

This is why you feel so burnt out and tired... Thank you @Jay Shetty for having me on this episode of @On Purpose Podcast! #melrobbins #letthemtheory #boundaries #ownyourdecisions

Another shared, "I've been doing this more and more, after working my role for a few years I have a decent understanding of a manageable workload with consideration of having stuff thrown on my lap or having time for training. Kind of funny because I'll say 'I can get it done but not this week, maybe next week or the one after that.'"

They added that this can help take pressure off you. "Suddenly this places accountability on my supervisor to even do a little work by looking further into it, due dates, priority and it will turn into nothing of importance or they'll find a coworker that actually has nothing else going on to delegate it to or end up doing it themselves (because they probably had nothing going on anyway)," they explained. "I always tell them to let me know if I can still assist. Just consider how to set boundaries that work for you and how to present those boundaries to be for the company's benefit."

boundary, boundaries, healthy boundaries, implementing boundaries, boundary work Paramount Network Kelly GIF by Yellowstone Giphy

How to use it

To help others implement the phrase, another employee shared the best way to use this advice in a conversation with your boss: "'I see you're asking for X, Y and Z. Realistically we can accomplish X and Y in that timeframe. How about we take a phased approach to this project? X and Y can be Phase 1 and get out on time, and we'll consider Z Phase 2 to be completed after the discussed date.'"

The user noted that this has never failed them. "Phased approaches work almost every single time for me," they added. "It lets the person you're working with know that you deem all parts of the projects acceptable and important, but also gives them the chance to meet you half way, while eventually getting exactly what they wanted."

Parenting

21 anonymous parents confess how they're battling burnout by any means possible

"I throw out my kids' crafts and I don't feel bad about it."

Canva Photos & Skylight

Parents are really struggling, and they're confessing the little ways they get by under all the pressure.

I was trying to make a dentist appointment for my two kids last week. Or, rather, I was trying to reschedule a dentist appointment. I'd made one six months ago at their last visit for a day and time that seemed to make sense, but that was basically an educated guess at best. Six months might as well be six years ago! I had no idea what our schedule would be so far in the future, so I did my best. But now it was time to move it, of course, because I had been completely wrong.

I called the office, but no answer. Called again, no answer. Left a message, no call back. Finally, I was able to get a hold of someone through the office's text line. They offered up some new dates and times, which was great. So, I went to check our calendar.

Day 1 didn't work because of back to school "sneak previews." The timing on Day 2 didn't work because my youngest isn't allowed to show up to daycare summer camp past 11 (don't even get me started). Day 3 didn't work because the plumber was scheduled to come that morning. Day 4 didn't work because I had a dentist appointment of my own! I thought day 5 might be a winner, but then my wife reminded me that it was the second day of school—and we couldn't take our kids out of school on their second day of both starting new schools!

In the end, honestly, I just gave up. I needed a break. I had other things to do and my brain was starting to hurt. Plus, I'd already spent what felt like hours on this allegedly simple task.

So, my confession as a dad is that my kids are currently overdue for the dentist, and making them a new appointment is still pending on my To-Do list, because I literally just can't right now. Apparently, I'm not the only one who feels that way.

The folks at Skylight have been collecting confessions from anonymous parents, who share how they're surviving the chaos: Whether it's taking shortcuts, telling little white lies, or just feeling guilty for always falling short. Whatever it is, these parents are doing their best and still struggling.

But that doesn't mean that some of the confessions aren't hilarious. Others are incredibly moving. Overall, it's the perfect picture of the joy, the love, and the anxious guilt that all come together to make up modern parenting.

Yes, people knowingly sign up for this when they have kids, but it's impossible to know just how difficult and frustrating it can be before you're in the thick of it every day. It's also awesome and so fun and joyful! That's the beauty of it all.

Here are some of the best responses from Skylight's anonymous confessions.

parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society "Sometimes I book a babysitter just so I can drive around in my car alone."Skylight

"I skip pages at bedtime stories." —Dad, 33

"There's a 50/50 shot I forget it's early dismissal. " —Dad, 48

"Still haven't unpacked their backpacks from June. Should be fun." —Dad, 41

"Whenever I want time alone I tell the kids I'm planning Christmas. Even if its March. " —Mom, 45

"I never filled out my kid's baby books. " —Mom, 29

"I throw out my kid's crafts and I don’t feel bad about it. " —Mom, 44

I relate to so many of these, so much so that it hurts. As I'm writing this, there is a cardboard box in my garage filled with just a year's worth of my kids artwork, school papers, and crafts. The box is overflowing and I keep having ideas of sorting through it so I can save the really good stuff, but I just can't get around to it. Literally, I can barely get to the box because it's buried under a ton of other junk I have to sort through!

In my house, we've all but given up saving new artwork unless it's really special, and most of what's in the box will probably be thrown away. I feel guilty as hell about it but I just can't create more hours in the day to deal with it.

parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society "I secretly prayed my kid's Little League team would lose."Skylight

Here are some more good ones:

"Sometimes when my children are fighting I just let them have it out and continue to read my books." —Mom, 37

"I tell my kids I'm going in my room to work, and not to interrupt. When in fact I am eating ice cream and watching my show." —Mom, 36

"If we don’t have cash in the house for the tooth fairy, we use money from their piggy bank." —Dad, 35

"I tell my kids I’m studying, but really I’m reading my spicy book. " —Mom, 42

"That cute, smiling picture I posted on IG? My toddler was having a full blown meltdown and the only reason she smiled was because I sang Baby Shark." —Mom, 33

"I’m never sad when a practice or game canceled for rain or heat!" —Mom, 39

As a travel soccer family, I can definitely relate to the sweet relief of a cancelled practice. Our daughter goes about three times per week year round, which is an enormous time commitment. The practices are usually in the evenings around dinner time, and we have a younger kid that needs to keep a normal schedule, so practice evenings are usually pretty chaotic and often end with one or many of us eating junk from McDonald's. Worse, I feel a lot of guilt that I stay in the car or at a nearby coffee shop working on my laptop while other parents are out in lawn chairs watching practice. What am I doing wrong? I wonder constantly.

parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society "I told my kid our town doesn't have a hockey team, because lord knows I'm not waking up ... to take him to practice."Skylight

OK, here are just a few more:

"All I want is time with my kids and time without my kids." —Mom, 33

"Yes, I threw out your Halloween candy." —Dad, 52

"I’ve forgotten my son at early pick up before." —Mom, 37

"Some days, I feel like I’m not giving enough to either side of my life." —Mom, 32

"I’m constantly feeling guilty when I’m not with my kids but feel overwhelmed when I’m with them. " —Mom, 44

Ah, yes, the true brilliance of being a parent is that you get to feel like you're failing in every aspect of your life simultaneously. Parenting takes time and energy away from advancing in your career, but don't worry, your career also takes time and energy away from being a great parent. It's so awesome!

You can see all the confessions as they roll in right here.

parenting, parents, kids, family, stress, anxiety, parenting stress, millennial parents, modern families, culture, society "i told them I had to work late, but I just drove around crying until I felt better."Skylight

In 2024, Skylight teamed up with The Harris Poll to create something called the Mental Load Report. The findings were fascinating and illuminating.

The survey results showed that parents spent an average of 30.4 hours per week on "planning and coordinating family schedules and household tasks," or the equivalent of a near-full-time job.

Parents were found to receive an average of 17.5 communications (emails, texts, phone calls) about their kids' activities every week. It's a stark difference from when we were kids and our parents never heard anything until it was Report Card time.

Planning for "time off"—securing childcare, summer breaks, activities, etc.—took over 100 hours per year. Summer vacation? Yeah, right.

Moms, unsurprisingly, are carrying more of the mental load. But 60% of all parents felt taken for granted or under-appreciated in their household for all the care and planning that they do.

Add it all up and it's no wonder the US Surgeon General put out an advisory warning recently about the poor mental health of parents. An advisory is a "public statement that calls the American people's attention to an urgent public health issue and provides recommendations for how it should be addressed." The report lobbied for expanded paid family leave, expanding public and private insurance coverage of mental health care like therapy, and creating more family-friendly and free community spaces like parks.

Those measures would go a long way, but in the meantime, parents are just trying to cope any way that they can. Whether that's stealing some of your kid's Halloween candy for a little pick me up, or telling them you have an appointment just so you can go somewhere quiet and scream in your car. We're getting by, however we can.

A woman is both happy and angry.

There is a psychological concept known as the illusion of control, which states that people believe they have greater control over the events in their lives than they do. If you think about it, a lot of our lives are controlled by chance, whether it's our genetics, the families we were born into, the time and place where we were born, and chance encounters that change the trajectory of our lives, such as the moment we met our spouse or someone with a job opportunity.

People who have it good are more likely to attribute their good fortunes to their effort, while those who are having difficulty getting by are more likely to blame bad luck. No matter how we delude ourselves, one thing is certain: many situations we find ourselves in throughout life are out of our control, and our real power lies in our ability to react.

Knowing how to react to situations beyond our control is the crux of the 90-10 rule.

What is the 90-10 rule?

The 90-10 rule, attributed to Stephen Covey in the bestseller “7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” states that 10% of life is made up of what happens to you, and 90% is decided by how you react.

People often explain the 90-10 rule by sharing a story of a mishap at breakfast.

You are having breakfast in business attire, and your young daughter spills coffee on your shirt. You reprimand her and your spouse for putting the cup of coffee too close to the table's ledge. Your daughter gets upset and misses her school bus. So you have to drive her to school, and because you’re speeding, you get a $180 ticket. You arrive at work late, and the day spirals from there. When you get home from work, you have an annoyed wife and child.

Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is "D".

In an alternative universe, the coffee spills on your shirt, and you forgive your daughter. You change your shirt, your daughter makes the bus, and you get to work five minutes early. Now, instead of having a day that spiraled out of control, taking a moment to see the spilled coffee as an accident changed the entire day.

What happens when people skillfully respond to events out of their control over a long period? Their lives will be completely different than if they chose to take things out of their control personally.

Here are 3 ways to apply the 90-10 rule.

The key is not to take minor inconveniences personally.

1. If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water off a duck's back. You do not have to let the negative comments affect you.

2. If someone cuts you off in traffic, don’t take it personally; who cares if you get to work 10 seconds later? There's no point in letting it ruin your day.

3. If you get to the airport and find out your flight is delayed, don’t get mad at the person working at the ticket counter. It’s beyond their control. The plane will arrive at some point, whether you get worked up or not.

airport, airplane, happy man airport, luggage, flights, A man walking through the airport.via Canva/Photos

The 90-10 rule mirrors the "Let them" theory championed by Mel Robbins, a podcast host, author, motivational speaker, and former lawyer. The first thing is to acknowledge that others are imperfect and that you cannot change them. “People can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. Most people haven't gone to therapy, they haven't looked at their issues, and frankly, they don't want to. Let them. Let your parents be less than what you deserved," Robbins said in a viral video. "Let your family life be something that isn't a fairy tale. Try to remind yourself that they're just doing the best they can with the resources and the life experiences they have."

Remember, you can’t control everything, but you can choose how you react to minor annoyances. Choose to respond in a skillful, thoughtful manner without taking things seriously, and you can quickly get past the minor annoyances without causing the adverse ripple effect that can ruin your entire day.

This article originally appeared last year.



Wellness

28 simple daily habits that people say drastically reduced their stress levels

Try making these easy yet impactful changes to your daily routine.

Image via Canva

People share their daily habits that reduce their stress levels.

Americans are stressed and anxious. According to a 2025 poll by the American Psychiatric Association, these are the top things they stress about: current events, keeping themselves and their families safe, paying bills and expenses, and their health.

Stress can have serious impacts on the body and mind. If you can feel its impact, you may be looking for ways to reduce your stress.

Over on Reddit, user Head-Tangerine-8260 posed the question: "What's a simple habit that made your daily life way less stressful?" to a thread of people looking for healthy habits,

Real people shared their real-life advice for how they have reduced stress in their lives. These are 28 simple habits hat can help you lead a life of less stress.

don't stress, no stress, reduce stress, stress, stress gif Breathe Deep Breath GIF by C.Nichole Giphy

"Plan next day every evening." —digital_tempo

"Having my outfit picked out, ironed and my work bag packed the night before gives me such relief in the morning." —MarsupialLast4651

"Give yourself 30 mins more than whatever you think you need in your morning routine. Having a bit more time to shift into your day vs feeling rushed and out of time all the time is an easy but impactful change for my daily routine." —Purfectenschlag

calm, breathe, stay calm, low stress, stress tips Breathe Chill Out GIF by CSDRMS Giphy

"My doctor told me about this yoga nidra and I really enjoy it. eye mask, headphones, under covers. my nervous system melts when I hear her voice. I look forward to it at the end of a work day." —Janices1976

"I've been doing the Wim Hof Breathing Technique for a month now and I really feel more energized and motivated. It's like life is a little bit easier." —Soquerodesabafar

"Remind myself that anxiety is nothing more than thinking-rapid, untrained thinking. Stop overthinking about the future and stop fretting about the past."— slutspells

"Writing down just three priorities each morning. Not a massive to-do list, just the three things that will make the day feel meaningful or productive. It helps cut the noise and gives me a small sense of control, especially on chaotic days. It’s simple, but it’s saved my sanity more than once. What’s yours?" —Self-CoachedPress

walk, mental health walk, stress walk, walk for stress, lower stress Mental Health Relax GIF by mtv Giphy

"Actually taking a 15-minute break to step outside and walk away from the office/desk. Before I would still stay in/at it and scroll on phone, or just sit on the office couch. Started realizing I craved sunlight and silence (quiet mind), and it lets me reset. I use it to do 1-2 laps around the office complex." —BOHICA_Headquarters

"No news. Stopped watching completely. Haven’t blown up yet. Used to be something I did first thing in the morning and it just rattled me. Now I’m very selective with what information I let myself consume. Might be unpopular but it works for me." —ATXGreenEyes

"Going to a coffee shop on Sunday and planning out my week, daily workouts." —taytay10133

"Journal. Write everyday." —Spare_Lemon5010

jounral, journaling, mental health journal, write, writing Journaling Dear Diary GIF by Ryn Dean Giphy

"Meal prepping. Cooking one day a week for the whole week and partially freezing / defrosting. The mental relief of not having to think about what to eat and cooking daily is amazing. One 2 hour session in the kitchen a week is bearable and easier to battle through than the daily thought process and prep. Less mess throughout the rest of the week, as no more prep needed. Microwaving dinner is quick and easy if in a time pinch. I can also track my macros easily and saw progress in my physique within 2 weeks as I was consistent with my intake." —Consistent-Choice-22

"One load of laundry every day, with a baby. Roomba vacuum on every morning. Straightening the couch pillows and blankets before I go to bed. Running the dishwasher daily, even if it’s half full." —Bonus_Leading

"I start my day with a cold plunge. Been huge for my mental state because in my head I’m getting the hardest part of my day behind me before 8am. Everything after that is simple." —mgm904

cold plunge, cold plunge gif, cold plunging, cold plunge stress, cold plunge mental health Screaming Nat Geo GIF by National Geographic Channel Giphy

"Tracking expenses in an analog manner. Doing it electronically and relying on my bank portal wasn’t enough. Some charges would take days to go through. Some are instant. Writing down each expense for each paycheck and budgeting what’s leftover is WAY less stressful than guessing, or not knowing, when something is coming out. It’s extremely simple. Can be time consuming but extremely simple and makes me upfront with my finances instead of blindly spending." —Snipes2016

"No phone for the first hour of my day. Gives you the first hour entirely to yourself to slowly start your day and prevents a massive cortisol spike when your brain is at its most vulnerable." —lolobq47

"Ensuring my travel mugs and water bottles are all clean before I go to bed. And that my refrigerator water is filled (we put filtered water into a glass thing), and the filter is filled with water too." —mrsredfast

"Not taking my phone into the bedroom." —dl039

no phone, no phones, no phone room, no phones bedroom, no phone mental health Keep Quiet Pho GIF by Zhot Giphy

"I have a poster of the pale blue dot by Carl Sagan hanging in my room. It really helps to remind myself that in the end, nothing really matters. We are but a speck in the vast galactic ocean, alive for a brief moment. Also, 30 mins of shooting hoops." —bluebird-03

"Prayers of gratitude." —StoicallyRoasted

"Making my bed every morning. I heard it so much and I kept it up for 2 weeks (to form the habit). And honestly, it just makes my morning better and starts my day. And its nice to climb into bed at night into a nicely made bed. When I don't, my day just feels off." —InteractionNo9110

"I changed my work wardrobe to just white or gray shirts, black skirts, and three colors of shoes (besides nude and black, which are imperative). I can wear different blazers or belts to correspond with my footwear and jewelry, but not trying to put together an outfit helped. I grab something and then something else. Then something else. I only have to worry about getting a jacket that matches with my shoes. Am I wearing blue? Then the other decisions are made. Cool." —5Tapestries