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Education

Teacher 'ready to quit' after being forced to deal with 'every feeling' her students have

“Maybe I'm getting too old for this modern bubble wrapping of kids emotions."

via Canva/Photos

A teacher can't handle another minute of dealing with her classroom.

In post-pandemic America, a majority of teachers believe that education is heading in the wrong direction. Among their greatest concerns are children's dependence on smartphones, a growing sense of entitlement among students and parents, low pay, and growing mental health behavioral problems among students.

These problems have made many teachers consider new professions. A 2023 poll of 1,200 teachers found that 40% of public school teachers have either seriously considered leaving the profession or are planning to do so by the end of the year. Nearly all said they understand why other teachers have quit.

A veteran teacher recently admitted she was ready to quit her job at a private high school. The problem is that the school has ceded power to its counselors, who have made their students’ feelings the top priority. This makes the classroom nearly impossible to manage.

teachers, teachers quit, educationA stressed math teacher.via Canva/Photos

“The counselors believe every student's feeling needs to be acknowledged,” the teacher wrote. “If a student is talking while the teacher is talking and a teacher tells them to stop they complain to their counselor that their teacher is picking on them. The counselor acknowledges their feelings as ‘real’ and repeatedly tells them their feelings are ok. That feelings are never wrong to have.”

“These kids are high school age and are smart enough to weaponize this power. They've already made me cry once this year and I had another teacher come to my room crying,” the teacher continued. “I'm thinking about quitting either soon or in December. Is this a new trend in education? I know kids and parents have changed, but I've never worked at a school where the counselors make it so much worse.”

“Maybe I'm getting too old for this modern bubble wrapping of kids emotions at the expense of others around them,” she concluded her post on Reddit’s Teacher’s forum.

The school counselors appear to be pushing an idea recently popular in psychology circles: feelings should always be honored and never questioned. Michael Karson, Ph.D., refers to this as the "Tyranny of Emotion" in Psychology Today. "Privileging emotion is like privileging one’s own hunger or lust, an essentially narcissistic approach to gratification that leaves others at the mercy of one’s whims. Instead of demanding compliance with our feelings, we ought to be learning how to manage them," he writes.

teachers, teachers quit, educationA super stressed teacher.via Canva/Photos

The teacher’s story rallied a lot of support for her, with fellow educators chiming in to explain the phenomenon she’s experiencing and share examples of how they’re handling it.

One of the teachers believes that the overwhelming focus on feelings will lead to real problems for students as they age.

"I really resent that teaching has been conflated with therapy. We are not trained to nurture the emotions of 30 children simultaneously, while also teaching them. I couldn't do it. I don't do it. … It sounds like instead of just 'acknowledging' feelings, there is some entitlement attached to having a feeling. That students and the councelling department have run with the idea that feelings are facts and need constant accommodation. It's not a helpful practice to amplify teenagers negative emotions and put them on a pedestal, to the point where they are aware of how to manipulate adults. Students need support... with professionals and family.

The repercussions of this bubble zone will manifest in negative ways throughout adulthood. Students will become entitled, defensive, righteous, self-involved, disappointed when faced with challenges where their feelings aren't valued.

Another teacher noted that the over-emphasis on feelings neglects other important parts of social-emotional learning (SEL).

"Uh no. SEL has 5 core competencies. The first is self-awareness. Yes, the students should have feelings and feelings are important. The second competency is self-management. Now that we've identified this feeling, how can we self-regulate so we can still be productive in class? It seems your counseling department only got 20% of the training on SEL? Lol."

Another commenter helped make sense of the situation by suggesting a practical way forward for the teacher.

“I would ask and email your admin about it. Tell them your situation and how its affecting instruction. If they have your back, there you go. If they don't, I'd quit.”

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Pop Culture

15 nightmare situations, according to introverts

Does anyone actually like networking events?

Photo by Ryan Snaadt on Unsplash

The only thing worse than a party—the afterparty.

The concept of being an introvert versus an extrovert is a fairly new one. Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung first came up with both terms in the early 1900s, and from the get-go, it was understood that people’s personalities generally fell somewhere between the two extremes.

Nowadays introverts are often mislabeled as being antisocial, which isn’t necessarily true. Going off of the Jung definition, introverted people simply orient toward their “internal private world of inner thoughts and feelings”—unlike extroverts, who “engage more with the outside world of objects, sensory perception, and action.”

Most introverts will tell you, it’s not that we hate people. We just find them … draining. What we tend to detest are things like trivial small talk and the cacophony of large groups. But even that, many introverts can turn on for, enjoy even … so long as we can promptly go home afterwards and veg out.


Being introverted is certainly not unique—up to half of the entire population is estimated to be introverted. Heck, it’s even a trait for animals. And it’s certainly not a weakness. Many notable leaders were known for being reserved. However, the world is often made to favor extroversion, making it hard for introverts to be understood, let alone valued.

Reddit user Sarayka81 asked for introverts to share their “nightmare situations.” The answers are an eye-opening (and pretty hilarious) glimpse into how one person’s idea of normal, or even fun, can be another person’s torture.

Enjoy 15 of the best responses. Introverts, beware.

1. Public marriage proposals

"I've told every partner so far, if you propose in public I will turn it down." – @AngelaTheRipper

“All those youtube videos of these big proposals, like a whole dance routine pop up…everyone is like ‘omg what a great gesture!’ No. no. no.” – fearme101

2. Afterparties

“You mean there's more stuff to do after the stuff we planned on doing? I only have so much energy to deal with people and it was already used up.” – @Nyctomancer

3. Being picked out of the crowd to speak

“People who just raise their hand to be chosen are true heroes." – @Chogolatine

ask reddit, psychology

Give hand-raisers a trophy.

Giphy

4. Unexpected visitors

"As a child my worst nightmare was when my parents got visitors and I'm stuck upstairs hungry and thirsty because I can't access the kitchen." – @mikasott

"Ask them nicely, 'would you kindly REMOVE yourself from my personal space.'" – @GDog507

"But that requires talking to them." – @StinkyKittyBreath

5. Introducing yourself

"I get locked jaw when this happens. Along with sweaty palms and cold sweat." – @ellisonjune

6. Multiple conversations at once

“I was at a conference where everyone is doing the circle thing and I was chatting with some people about some interesting, but pretty dry, industry topics. All of the sudden I hear someone in another conversation circle say something along the lines of: ‘Yeah man, gorillas will rip your head off.’

All of the sudden, I can't concentrate on my current conversation and my brain tunes into the gorilla conversation instead. I could not for the life of me tune back into my main conversation.” – @reAchilles

psychology today

Who could pay attention after gorillas are mentioned?

Giphy

7. Running into someone you know in a public place

"All you want to do is read your book, but there's no way out and you decide to put up a brave front. Already you can hear the office gossip in your head: ‘Oh my God, guess who I was stuck on the train with…’Nightmare fuel. Work from home was a blessing in this regard." – @jew_bisquits

8. Singing “Happy Birthday” at a restaurant

“This shouldn't be legal” – @Chogolatine

9. Surprise parties

“I’m essentially the 49th wheel at my own party. Kill me now.” – @Anneboleyn33

askreddit reddit

Yay....

Giphy

10. Being talked over

“Especially when the only thing the person interjects with is filler or exclamatory flurry that adds nothing to the conversation while stifling any other contribution. Things like 'yes girl yes!' or 'I can’t believe that!' or …even loud forced laughter - really any noise interjected in that space to make it seem like they’re contributing or listening instead of actually participating." – @torn_anteater

anti social social club

Repeat back what I just said. I dare you.

Giphy

11. Networking events

"Don’t forget to come up with a fun fact!" – @sub_surfer

12. Extroverts who just don’t get it

"'Wanna hang out this Saturday?'

'Sure!'

... Saturday arrives, 10 minutes before hangout time ...

'Oh also I invited my friend you have never met before to join us.'" – @drflanigan

13. Phone calls

“Receiving and twice as bad having to make one." – @Isand0

reddit

Phones are meant for texts, emails and games, not calls!

Giphy

14. Impromptu work presentations

"I need like a couple days to prepare myself for any speaking engagement lol." – @koriroo

15. Party games that involve small talk

"'Who's up for two truths and a lie?'

Thinks … Can they all be lies? No … What are the most boring truths I can think of so no one comes up to talk to me after this?'" – @littlewittlediddle


This article originally appeared on 09.16.22

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Health

Psychologist breaks down why cruises are good for our mental health

Popularity has surged since the pandemic. There's a reason why.

Canva

Not a phone in sight. So beautiful.

Cruise life might have taken a hiatus in 2020 (along with everything else), but post-pandemic business is booming. There are more people embarking on cruises than even in 2019, according to the Cruise Lines International Association (TIME). And with overall prices that are lower than a lot of mortgages and rents, many folks opt to cruise full-time.

So…is it just the competitive prices calling us to sea? The promise of adventure, perhaps? Or is it simply the 24-hour buffet that makes it so intriguing?

A psychologist and cruise enthusiast has some compelling thoughts.

In her essay written for Psychology Today, Mary McNaughton-Cassill, PhD, argues that while cruises “may not be for everyone,” they do provide many psychological benefits that improve our mental health.

For one thing, cruises offer the luxury of pure leisure time, which McNaughton-Cassill says “Americans are starved for.”
mental health

You can hear the silence in this picture.

Canva

And she has a point. When was the last time you didn’t have to use up precious mental energy wondering how dinner was going to be taken care of, who would watch the kids, whether or not anything needs to be cleaned, etc., etc. Even on our regular “days off,” many of us just spend it catching up on ignored chores (aka “housework). In a world where burnout and errand paralysis are very, very real, it’s no wonder why having everything taken care of is a grand fantasy.

Second, McNaughton-Cassill explained that going on a cruise all but forces someone to be without their phone for a bit, which helps ease feelings of loneliness.

happy people on a cruise

It's nice not to be lonely.

Canva

Loneliness might have been an issue exacerbated by the pandemic, but it certainly existed before that—and has been on the rise since the 1970s. We know that technology is a double-edged sword in this arena, offering us constant contact through endless pings and social media but often very little community.

But while out at sea, where wi-fi is hardly worth the high price, you can put the phone away without a second thought, and instead enjoy the simple pleasure of connecting with new people. Everyone from the staff to the servers to your fellow travelers get to know you by name, which is a stark contrast to the social cut-off-edness of “real life.”

And for the introverts for whom this scenario sounds like a nightmare, you have the permission to bask in the sweetness of your own thoughts during your social media detox…which honestly could probably still help with the loneliness thing.

Lastly, McNaughton-Cassill notes that going on cruises exposes us to two very therapeutic things most of us get too little of—music and nature. We know that both are good for our physical and mental well-being, and cruise travelers, as they soak up the sun, enjoy the ocean waves, listen to live bands and maybe even dance a little, are certainly exposed to all kinds of these natural remedies.

cruise life

Sunbathe by day, dancing by night.

Canva

It makes sense that in our busy, jam-packed lives, the thought of getting multiple needs met all in one go would be attractive to many people. But even if that sweet cruise life isn’t the right fit for you, finding ways to actually relax, unplug and nourish the soul are so very important. Hopefully if reading this didn’t inspire you to buy a ticket, it at least reminded you to book that overdue massage or slip back in that favorite book for a few hours.

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Wellness

Juliette Lewis offers the perfect advice to a fan who 'feels alone'

commons.wikimedia.org

Yellowjackets actor Juliette Lewis.

Not that she ever really left the spotlight, but the iconic Juliette Lewis has recently reached a new chapter in her stardom thanks to her role of Natalie in Showtime’s obsession-worthy new series “Yellowjackets.”

Her social media is filled to the brim with excited fan theories, juicy behind-the-scenes questions and enthusiastic character appreciation posts. There’s no question about it; people love her performance as the tough, haunted, shotgun-savvy Nat.

But fun “Yellowjackets” trivia isn’t the only thing Lewis talks about with her following. She recently posted an Instagram Q&A with the caption, “I know some things ‘bout livin, love-ASK ME.”

One fan wrote, “ a lot of times I feel alone and like no one is there for me.”

Lewis’ advice for overcoming loneliness is something I think bears repeating.

“The only cure-all for this feeling- is being there for another,” the actress replied.


In times of helplessness, being there for someone else might feel impossible. Counterintuitive even. But research has repeatedly shown that acts of altruism can help us live longer, lift us from depression and fulfill our very basic psychological need to belong. There’s a reason why loneliness feels so awful, and why generosity is a gift that keeps on giving.

In other words, Juliette Lewis is onto something here.

Lewis really does walk the talk with this. It only took a few seconds of searching on Google to see that she regularly supports charities, including (but not limited to) Little Kids Rock, an organization dedicated to providing music education to disadvantaged schools.

But working with charity organizations isn’t the only avenue. Lewis added that a generous act needn’t be a grand gesture. Your act of kindness could be as simple as “show[ing] up for another in [a way] they’d like–a phone call, give food, give them kindness and show care/interest…chat with them…make them feel less alone…make them feel heard or happier.”

There’s an added benefit of making someone feel heard, too. According to a study published in 2017, by helping others manage difficult emotions, we enhance our own ability to self-regulate and therefore improve our own emotional well-being. Think of it as psychology's way of saying “what goes around comes around.”

As Lewis advises, the person you help can be someone you know or a complete stranger. The only real caveat here is that it should be “a person you are not trying to get something from in return,” to prioritize “connecting without expecting.”

Odds are, those words of affirmation you long to hear … someone else longs to hear them as well. That longing you have to be surprised with a random bag of goodies … someone else feels the same way. Fulfilling another person’s wish opens us up to our own power.

As Lewis writes, “once you know you can give love to another generously I assure you [that] you will open up this energy flow. And might even notice you are not ‘needing’ as much.”

Shifting our perspective to focus on others while at a low point might at first seem like pouring from an empty cup, but maybe the opposite is actually true. Maybe by realizing how we can affect the lives of others, our cups are then filled with the discovery of how influential we really are.

Next time you’re having trouble keeping your chin up, see how it feels to lift someone’s spirit. This article from Mental Health offers some great ideas to start. But odds are your heart already knows what to do.

Thanks Juliette Lewis for the sage wisdom.

… and seriously, what happened to Nat?!

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