upworthy

phone addiction

Health

Harvard happiness researcher explains why being bored is 'essential' for our mental health

We have a powerful neurological network that's only triggered by boredom.

Harvard Business Review/YouTube

Boredom is good for us, but smartphones make it too easy to avoid it.

It's no secret that spending too much time on our screens isn't good, but most of us have a hard time not overusing them anyway. Our lives have become so intertwined with technology that we use our phones for everything—communication with friends and family, paying bills, following the news, finding recipes, tracking habits, entertainment, and more. Excessive phone use is associated with all kinds of mental and emotional health problems in youth and young adults, and we're seeing more and more older adults impacted by phone addiction as well.

But hey, at least we're never bored, right? That's true—unfortunately. As Harvard psychologist and happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks shares, our phones, which keep us from being bored, might actually be the crux of the problem.

"You need to be bored. You will have less meaning and you will be more depressed if you never are bored," Brooks says bluntly. "I mean, it couldn't be clearer."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Let me give you the good side of boredom in general," he continues. "Boredom is a tendency for us to not be occupied otherwise cognitively, which switches over our thinking system to use a part of our brain that's called the default mode network. That sounds fancy. It's really not. The default mode network is a bunch of structures in your brain that switch on when you don't have anything else to think about. So you forgot your phone and you're sitting at a light, for example. That's when your default mode network goes on."

The problem is, we don't like it, Brooks says. One of his colleagues at Harvard did an experiment where participants had to sit in an room and do absolutely nothing for 15 minutes. The only thing they could do was push a button that would deliver a painful electric shock to themselves. So the choices were to sit there being bored or shock themselves, and surprisingly, a large majority chose self-inflicted shocks over sitting with their own thoughts for 15 minutes.

"We don't like boredom," says Brooks. "Boredom is terrible."

harvard, psychology, boredom, phone addiction, technology Many people would rather push a button to shock themselves than to be bored for 15 minutes. Photo credit: Canva

But why? What's so bad about letting the mind wander? Brooks says it comes down to having to ponder life's big questions.

"The default mode network makes us think about things that might be kind of uncomfortable," he says. "When you think about nothing, your mind wanders and thinks about, for example, big questions of meaning in your life. What does my life mean? You go to uncomfortable existential questions when you're bored."

"That turns out to be incredibly important, incredibly good," Brooks continues. "One of the reasons we have such an explosion of depression and anxiety in our society today is because people actually don't know the meaning of their lives. Much less so in previous generations. Tons of data show this, and furthermore, we're not even looking."

The reason we're not looking? Because we don't have to. We have a device that keeps us from ever having to be bored, and we reach for it instantly without even consciously thinking about it most of the time.

harvard, psychology, boredom, phone addiction, technology We're so quick to reach for our phones at the slightest hint of boredom.Photo credit: Canva

"You're actually trying to not be bored because the default mode network is mildly uncomfortable, because it sends you to the types of questions that you can't get your mind around, you can't get your arms around," Brooks says. "Well, that's a big problem. That's a doom loop of meaning. If every time you're slightly bored you pull out your phone, it's going to get harder and harder for you to find meaning. And that's the recipe for depression and anxiety and a sense of hollowness, which, by the way, are all through the roof."

So how do we get out of this "doom loop of meaning?" Brooks suggests consciously leaving our phone behind more often and forcing ourselves to "be bored more."

"Tomorrow, when you go to the gym in the morning after you wake up, don't take your phone," he says. "Can you handle it? Not listening to a podcast while you're working out, just being in your head. I promise you, you'll have your most interesting ideas while you're working out without devices. It's probably been a long time since you've done that. Commute with nothing, not even the radio. Can you do that? Start getting better at periods that are 15 minutes and longer of boredom, and watch your life change."

phone addiction, boredom, technology, smartphones, working out Try working out without listening to anything and see where your mind wanders.Photo credit: Canva

Brooks refers to boredom as a skill, and he says the better you get at boredom the less bored you will be with ordinary things—your job, your relationships, and things going on around you.

"But more importantly, you'll start digging into the biggest questions in your life: purpose, meaning, coherence, significance," he says. "And who knows? You might just get happier."

Brooks shares the three protocols he uses to curb phone addiction:

- Don't sleep with your phone. (He has a no device policy after 7 p.m. and doesn't sleep with his phone.)

- No phones during meals. ("We're there for each other," he says. "We're not there for people who aren't there.")

- Regular social media fasts. (He has device and social media cleanses where he avoids them for longer lengths of time.)

Brooks says his brain screams at him at first when he takes breaks, which is the addiction talking. But then it calms down and he ends up feeling a lot better by the end of his break. "These protocols are really, really helpful and I recommend them to anybody and everybody," he says.

Most of us are aware of how addictive our phones can be, but we may struggle to moderate our own usage. Giving ourselves clear boundaries around when, where, and how we use our devices, as well as knowing that the discomfort of boredom is actually good for us, may help us all lead a healthier, more balanced life.

You can find more from Dr. Brooks, including his books and research on happiness, here.

From Your Site Articles
boredom
HealthMental Health
Family

Viral bikewear ad powerfully captures every parent's fear of teenage phone addiction

“As a parent, this had me locked in and feeling 10,000 things.”

@sirokocom/TikTok

This is every parent's nightmare.

An ad meant to intrigue customers to cycling equipment is also striking a chord in phone-weary parents worldwide.

Back in September, Spain-based sportswear brand Siroko released an ad onto TikTok with the caption, “How much life is consumed by your phone?”

The ad has since racked up over 19 million views, with so many parents commiserating over how “powerful” it is.

In the clip (shot “POV” style) we see a young, probably tween age girl receiving presumably her first phone as a Christmas gift. What begins as innocent excitement slowly unravels into a complete loss of spirit as she becomes far too attached to her device—texting from bed, eating while scrolling, being distracted at school, all those very, very common scenarios parents find their kids in.

There’s also a brief moment when she clearly stumbles upon content that’s far too mature for young eyes, as indicated by not so subtle moaning sounds and her look of utter shock. Another seriously real issue parents face.

Finally we see her phone getting taken away, and she becomes hysterical. Luckily, the video ends on a hopeful note—the girl sees her long forgotten bikes sitting in the garage. She decides to ride it again, and returns to her face.


@sirokocom

How much life is consumed by your phone? #sport #mentalhealth

For parents navigating childhoods that look so drastically different from their own, this ad really hit home. One person even said it belonged in the Superbowl.

Here’s what others had to say:

“Omg this ad made me cry. I have a 6 year old and I am terrified at what the future looks like with a digital device in her life.”

“As a parent, this had me locked in and feeling 10,000 things.”

“Childhood is worth protecting!”

“Our sweet children deserve better than this!”

“So powerful.”

This video not only touches on the fears that so many parents have regarding phones, but also a secret hope burning in their hearts—that maybe even in this modern, tech driven world which forces kids to grow up too fast, their child’s pure, innocent, fleeting joy is still only one bike ride away. That they might still enjoy life in the real world before things become complicated.

Still, solving this problem is complicated, with one huge factor being that there’s little consensus or regulation set in place when it comes to setting phone boundaries. That’s why many parents are calling for more widespread collective solutions, like the Wait til 8th movement, which aims to establish 8th grade as the official youngest age for receiving a phone. But even individual families who have taken their kid’s phones away have noticed vast improvement to their overall well being, which is promising.

Bottom line: this is a scary problem, and one that should be taken seriously. But not an insurmountable one. Can it be solved with a bike? Maybe not. Or maybe it’s the exact solution we need right now.

kids
FamilyParenting
Pop Culture

Guy who succeeded in cutting his phone usage by 80% shares his tips and powerful insights

He says cutting down has been "hard, but life changing."

Photo credit: Canva

These are actually really helpful.

Almost all of us at one point have attempted to reduce our screentime in an effort to thwart its addictive tendencies. Whether that’s incorporating some kind of app usage monitoring, keeping the phone away from arms reach in the morning, using one of those fancy phone locking pouches, etc. But boy, is it hard not to fall right back into the same pattern.

That’s why it always feels appropriate to hear from folks who have somehow managed to not only do the impossible, but stay consistent with it. You never know what tips and tricks you might find to make your own screen reduction dream a reality.

Recently someone shared how they were able to rescue their screen time by a whopping 80%. Here’s how they did it.

On the r/productivity subreddit, user u/jjohn6646 (whom we'll just call "John") shared how previously he would spend 4+ hours on social media (including Reddit) and 2+ hours on messaging and work stuff.

The biggest things that helped him go from going from 6 hours of phone usage a day to only 1 measly hour were as follows:

Creating a 30-day weaning off plan.

John shared that rather than going cold turkey, each week he would cut back by one hour (though he ended up doing more than that).

Incorporating a tangible reminder.

Placing a rubber band over his phone reminded John to ask himself, “Is this the best usage of mental energy right now?” each time he reached for his device.

Having a go-to "redirect."

For John, it was a book. For others it could be a journal, a simple craft, stretching, sprucing up around the house…you get the idea.

Using an app blocker with stricter settings than iOS screen time.

Quite simply because “iOS defaults are too easy to skip.” AppBlock comes highly recommended for its strict mode settings.

On that note, John added that it helped to set up "morning" and "evening" downtime blocks with the app to eliminate any distracting app during crucial parts of the day. He also only allotted a specific amount of opens for each individual distracting app.

Embracing the boredom.

This one is perhaps the most important of all. It can be so difficult to withstand the pressures of needing to fill every second of time. Even when we’re trying to let go of bad habits, there’s the inherent obligation to replace it with a “productive” one. Social media (and almost all technology we use on a daily basis, really) only exacerbates this. But in reality, we are not designed to be productive or stimulated 24/7.

But as John reminds us, “Our minds tend to panic when we don't have ‘something to do,’ but if you can push through the initial panic, there is a real sense of calm on the other side.”


What I learned while reducing phone screen time by 80% — 6 hrs per day to 1hr
byu/jjohn6646 inproductivity

Having successfully met his goal, John also took away some valuable insights sure to give anyone a little inspiration for their own screen reduction endeavors:

  • There is more time in the day than you realize
  • It's extremely easy to "slip," as I have many times in the past
  • Being "productive" doesn't always mean reaching for your phone just for the sake of doing something — sometimes doing nothing can set you up for more long term productivity
  • We are meant to be bored sometimes (and being bored can make you enjoy the little things more)

John prompted a number of readers to thank him for his advice and even share their own helpful tidbits as well.

“Once I realized all of these notifications and apps were just fancy fidget spinners, and I was designing my own hamster wheel, my interest in smartphones greatly decreased,” one person wrote.

“Great advice, thanks for sharing! Another tip I find helps is to keep a small notebook to hand. I found myself reaching for my phone all the time to check something or look something up. Write down any questions or things to look up online in the notepad, then spend a short allocated time at some point in the day to look them all up in one hit, rather than constantly reaching for the phone,” added another.

Another gushed, “Wow this is really inspiring and helpful. I went through a phase where I deleted all social media from my phone and my creativity, reading, meditation time skyrocketed. I fell back into the habit after a while and am back to 5-6 hours of screen time a day. I delete Reddit, then redownload it the same day. 😭 But this post just gave me the push I need, broke it down in an easy practical way. Thank you op!”

Sometimes we just need to see that a hard thing can be done in order for us to commit to doing it ourselves. If you're looking to reduce your screen time (which let’s be honest, is all of us) take it from John:

It’s “hard, but life changing.”

From Your Site Articles
community
Pop CultureInternet
Pop Culture

Drew Barrymore makes 'vulnerable' post about taking away her tween daughter's phone

"Within three months, I gathered the data of the texts and behavior. I was shocked by the results."

Photo credit: Canva, www.GlynLowe.com/Wikipedia

"I am going to become the parent I needed, the adult I needed."

As far as modern parenting goes, there’s no tough love quandary quite so universal as setting phone boundaries.

It can be difficult for parents to find the balance between being overly strict, potentially setting their kid’s up to be left out from friends groups, and being far too lax, exposing their still-developing minds to technology’s more harmful characteristics.

Making it even more tricky is the fact that it’s still pretty much the Wild West when it comes to setting said phone boundaries. A parent might think their kid is ready to have a phone, only to realize after the fact that they should have waited.

Then there’s the uncomfortable scenario of taking the phone away and being the bad guy. No parent loves that moment, even if they’re ultimately doing what’s best for their child.

This is a situation experienced by regular parents and celebrity ones alike, apparently.

Recently Drew Barrymore reflected on her own decision to take away her daughter's phone in a "vulnerable" message, captioned “Phone Home,” shared to her Instagram account on Aug 30.

In the lengthy note the "E.T." star noted how the choice was influenced by her own rebellious childhood of "too much access and excess.”

"I wished many times when I was a kid that someone would tell me no," she wrote. "I wanted so badly to rebel all the time, and it was because I had no guardrails."

Barrymore has frequently gotten candid about how being thrust into stardom as a child left her vulnerable to very adult situations and in desperate need of parental guidance. Going to rehabilitation for two years luckily was a “blessing” that gave her a “hard reset.”

And now that she’s a parent herself to two girls, Olive, 12 and Frankie, 10, she sees how phones are a repeat of this "too much access and excess” pattern. Understandably, she wants to be “protective” of her kids to go down the same path she once did.

"Now that I am a mother, I cannot believe I live in a world that I know correlates to my own personal pitfalls and many of my peers who got into too much, too soon,” she wrote.

In regards to her daughter Olive, Barrymore gave her a phone for her 11th birthday because “all her friends had one.” However, the phone was "only to be used on weekends and for a limited time with no social media."

Even with those well intentioned restrictions, Barrymore made troubling discoveries.

"Within three months, I gathered the data of the texts and behavior. I was shocked by the results. Life depended on the phone. Happiness was embedded in it. Life source came from this mini digital box. Moods were dependent on the device."

Wanting to “put a stop to these high stakes emotions flying around,” Barrymore printed out every single text onto paper and handed Olive "a stack of pages,” reminding her that "they're permanent somewhere where we don't see it, so we don't believe in its retraceable and damning nature if we fail digitally to act with decency.”

Barrymore then took the phone away, but made sure to let Olive know that it was not a “punishment on her character." It simply “was not time yet.”

"I want to let parents know that we can live with our children's discomfort in having to wait. We can be vilified and know we are doing what we now know to be a safer, slower and scaffolded approach," she concluded. "I am going to become the parent I needed, the adult I needed."

Barrymore did add that the current relationship most adults have to their phones only sets an example for kids, saying, “we are living in an á la carte system as caretakers, in a modern, fast-moving world where tiny little computers are in every adult’s hands, modeling that it is OK to be attached to a device that is a portal to literally everything.”

But she argues that our own challenges with setting phone boundaries can actually be a point of connection, writing, “we can admit we’re learning, too, especially in tech, and things have to pivot from time to time.”

Barrymore, whose “actions to move forward” included speaking with Apple to “discuss creating a new device without all the trimmings,” isn’t the only adult looking to create more helpful regulations. Many parents are rallying behind causes like the Away for a Day (AFTD) movement, which aims to remove smartphones from the classroom, and the Wait Until 8th organization, which is trying to set 8th grade as the official starting point for kids to receive phones.

Technology is certainly not going away, nor would we want to give up the benefits that it bestows. But certainly, setting regulations, especially for kids, is something that everyone should be thinking of if we want to create a society that uses technology without being controlled by it.

From Your Site Articles
parenting
Pop CultureCelebrity
Trending Stories