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Love Stories

After wife's terminal diagnosis, man builds laundry soap device so she can remain independent

A village from around the world showed up online to help him get it perfect.

Man builds device to help after wife's terminal diagnosis.

When a loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness, it changes everything, including things you may not have yet thought about. As their disease progresses, they're able to do less and less for themselves, sometimes resulting in a spouse being the caregiver for their once healthy partner. But for the ill person, maintaining as much independence as possible for as long as possible can be rewarding.

Artur Zamber recently shared a heartfelt story about his attempt to keep his wife feeling as independent as possible after she was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer. The activity she needed assistance with is something that many take for granted: pouring laundry detergent into the cap in order to wash clothes.

laundry; bone cancer; love story; man builds device; kindnessA washing machine. Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

"It was the detergent bottle. She couldn’t press the button with both hands anymore. Bone cancer made sure of that. And when I reached over to help her, she flinched. Not because of pain. Because of pride," Zamber writes in his post. "We’ve always been equals, me and her. Forty years of marriage and we’ve never once said 'that’s not my job.' She grew the tomatoes. I built the trellis. She crocheted the blankets. I chopped the wood. We met each other in the middle every single time. But disease…It doesn’t meet you halfway."

It was this realization that caused Zamber to figure out a way to make the laundry soap easier for his wife to dispense on her own. He got some wood and spent hours trying to design a contraption that would allow the soap to be dispensed with one hand As he worked, he quickly realized he may need some assistance. Zamber posted his sketch and explained what he was trying to accomplish in the Tedooo app, an app for hobbyists and crafters to share ideas or sell things. Soon after the desperate husband's initial post, a village of crafters from around the world appeared.

laundry; bone cancer; love story; man builds device; kindnessHobby Lobby Community - Coupons, Finds and Crafters on the Tedooo app | I didn’t build this because I’m handy | Facebookwww.facebook.com

"I posted a rough sketch. Said I was trying to make something for my wife. Didn’t expect much. But my inbox lit up like Christmas. Makers from everywhere Oregon, Croatia, Argentina sent me diagrams, photos, even voice notes walking me through it like we were neighbors," he says.

After working through the design with others, Zamber created a box that holds the laundry soap and tilts forward so his wife can pour it with one hand. The man is adamant he was not trying to "help" his wife or make something "for her," but was instead making something with her in mind so she didn't feel like she needed him to do everything for her.

laundry; bone cancer; love story; man builds device; kindnessMan kissing woman on check beside body of water. Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash

"We don’t always get to fix what’s broken. But sometimes, we get to honor it. And that’s enough," Zamber shares.

People were moved by the post on social media with one person writing in part, "This is so beautiful. The detergent holder and everything it represents. Your story is resonating with me today in a very unique way."

"Oh my goodness, what sweet, respectful, strong Beautiful Love. Praying for your wife, and for you, seems she is in very loving hands, what a thoughtful way to honor her independence, and help at the same time. What sweet love," another said.

Family

Compelling video shows why the idea of 'traditional marriage' doesn't really exist

"Traditional marriage" has meant a lot of different things over time.

Newlyweds enjoying their big day

Even though same-sex marriage became legal across the U.S. in 2015, some still refer to marriage between a man and a woman as “traditional marriage.” The fact that people need to differentiate between different types of marriage makes many feel the term is disparaging to LGBTQ people.

When people refer to traditional marriage, they’re usually describing the union of a cisgender man and woman that is rooted in love and equality, where both partners have the same rights under the law. However, according to a video by Matt Baume, this notion of traditional marriage looks a lot different than marriages of the past.


Baume is a YouTuber who makes videos about pop culture history from a queer perspective.

In his video "What's the Definition of 'Traditional Marriage'?" Baume points out that marriage isn't exactly the "one man, one woman" story you've always heard.

For example, 4,000 years ago, in Mesopotamia, marriage was akin to slavery. During the Roman Empire, public displays of affection weren’t tolerated. Baume also notes that marrying for love is a relatively recent development, and it’s only been a few decades since interracial marriage was legal and married men and women began sharing the same rights.

The video discusses what it means to be married from a historical perspective, making it evident that the institution is constantly in flux. "Look, marriage has been a lot of things. But when you get down to it, it's always been an agreement between people,” Baume says in the video. “And as people strived to improve themselves, to become a more fair and just society, the marriages they form improve with them."

via Ted Eytan / Flickr

When same-sex marriage was legalized in the United States in 2015, a lot of conservatives and religious folks predicted it would be the end of the world.

In fact, on the day same-sex marriage was made legal, searches on the popular website Bible Gateway for "end times" reached an all-time high. Evangelical preacher Pat Robertson claimed that after the decision we'd all be having relations with animals.

"Watch what happens, love affairs between men and animals are going to be absolutely permitted. Polygamy, without question, is going to be permitted. And it will be called a right," Robertson said.

Well, the world didn't end and no one has married their cat … yet. But what did happen was a surge of economic activity.


via Jose Antonio Navas / Flickr

A new study by the The Williams Institute found that since same-sex marriage was legalized nationwide in the United States in 2015, LGBT weddings have boosted state and local economies by an estimated $3.8 billion.

"Marriage equality has changed the lives of same-sex couples and their families," the study's lead author Christy Mallory, said in a statement. "It has also provided a sizable benefit to business and state and local governments."

Since Massachusetts first legalized gay marriage in 2004, more than half a million same-sex couples have married in America.

The economic impact of same-sex marriage has created more than 45,000 jobs and generated an additional $244 million in state and local taxes. Over $500 million in revenue has been generated by friends and family members traveling to and from same-sex weddings.

Anyone who's throwing a wedding in the past 20 years knows the costs for a wedding, straight gay or otherwise, is incredible. The average cost for a wedding in 2020 is $31,000.

The findings by The Williams Institute are part of a lager economic trend suggesting the LGBT inclusion mainstream society has tremendous economic benefits for all.

A 2018 study noted that LGBTQ inclusion "increases economic performance, measured as GDP per capita," and provided "significant support for linkages between LGBT inclusion and stronger economies at the macroeconomic level."

The Williams Institute says its findings suggest that "passing laws to recognize the rights of LGBT people in participation in the marketplace, families, and important institutions may have positive effects on the economy. Also, efforts to improve public attitudes toward LGBT people may have positive effects on the economy, either alone or in combination with legal rights."

So it looks like same-sex marriage and LGBT inclusion, in general, is great for the economy. Unless, of course, you're one of those cake companies who refused to bake cakes for same-sex couples.Those folks really missed out on the big gay pay day.



Political divisions are fierce, but there's still a lot Americans agree on.

In June 2018, a shocking poll from Rasmussen Reports made headlines claiming that 31% of likely voters think there will be a Civil War in the United States in the next five years. A country can't get more divided than that.

But what if those divisions are more about politics as sport than actual policies?


On a number of major issues that supposedly divide the country, there's surprising unity: like marriage equality, gun control, money in politics, and even reproductive rights.

With the upcoming 2018 midterm elections and the 2020 presidential election, there will be seemingly constant noise about where we disagree. And many of those disagreements are fundamentally real.

But if political leaders governed more closely to what the people are actually saying, some of our biggest debates might not seem so drastic.

Nearly everyone agrees: There's too much money in politics.

As President Donald Trump and his administration consider their next nominee for the Supreme Court, Americans seem to be speaking in unison on at least one issue: Corporate money in politics is bad for democracy. A Daily Beast/Ipsos poll in June and July 2018 found that 64% of Americans want that new justice to limit the influence of money in politics. This is a direct counter to outgoing Justice Anthony Kennedy, who wrote the court's decision on Citizens United, the infamous ruling that opened up the floodgates of corporate cash.

In fact, when Trump was running for president, he tapped into this sentiment saying he didn't need to take money from lobbyists or corporate interests. Of course, that's not how he's governed so far. If he were, it might be one of his more popular ideas.

Photo by David McNew/Getty Images

There's unity on other issues, too.

Things are complicated in America right now. We're less proud of our country but overwhelmingly satisfied with our collective freedoms, Gallup said in July 2018.

Yet, when it comes to fundamental issues of morality, and even seemingly divisive issues like abortion, we may not be as divided as it seems. Consider some recent evidence:

The partisan divide is real. But on the issues, there's real common ground and opportunity for progress.

There's plenty to argue about in politics. A healthy debate, including the right to dissent, is a fundamental part of what makes democracy flourish.

However, with nearly all the focus on what divides us, it's becoming increasingly important to admit that we can agree to agree on some issues.

On this Fourth of July, maybe it's time to celebrate our freedom from unnecessary divisions.