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Joy

A growing number of married Americans are together but live in separate homes. Here's why.

Nearly four million Americans don't live with their spouses.

living apart together, lat couples, nontraditional relationships
via Pexels

A couple celebrates while packing their home.

One of the topics that we like to highlight on Upworthy is people who are redefining what it means to be in a relationship. Recently, we’ve shared the stories of platonic life partners, moms who work together as part of a “mommune” and a polyamorous family with four equally-committed parents.

A growing number of people are reevaluating traditional relationships and entering lifestyles that work for them instead of trying to fit into preexisting roles. It makes sense because the more lifestyle options that are available, the greater chance we have to be happy.

A recent trend in unconventional relationships is married couples "living apart together," or LATs as they are known among mental health professionals.

Actress Helena Bonham Carter and director Tim Burton, actress Gwyneth Paltrow and producer Brad Falchuk, and photographer Annie Leibovitz and activist Susan Sontag are all high-profile couples who’ve embraced the LAT lifestyle.


“I think it certainly helps with preserving mystery and also preserving the idea that this person has their own life,” Paltrow said, according to the New York Post.

The lifestyle appears to have become more mainstream in America as the number of couples living apart rose by more than 25% between 2000 and 2019.

living apart together, lat couples, nontraditional relationships

A couple wrapping their furniture in bubble wrap.

Pexels

According to The New York Times, there were 3.89 million Americans who live apart from their spouses in 2022, just under 3% of all married couples. The statistics do not include couples intending to divorce but do include those who are forced to live separately due to military duties.

Couples Therapy, Inc. says that LAT couples enjoy the lifestyle because it allows for “independence without sacrificing emotional support,” more time for hobbies and interests, fewer conflicts, and prevents “exploitation along gender roles.”

The disadvantages that LAT couples experience include maintaining emotional connection, occasional loneliness and dealing with the expectations of adult and minor children.

Although there isn’t a wealth of research on LATs, Bella DePaulo Ph.D. writes in Psychology Today that people who prefer to live apart from their spouse are looking for “independence and privacy.” They also tend to be in their 40s and older and are less likely to need a live-in spouse to help with child-rearing duties.

Sharon Hyman told Today that living apart from her husband, David, puts their relationship in the proper context.

“Living separately allows me to have my needs met by others in addition to David, including friends and family. I feel that expecting one person to be your everything is setting yourself up for disappointment,” Hyman wrote. “It’s also unrealistic and puts tremendous pressure on a relationship. There are so many other people who enrich our lives. I’m a big believer in community. People in the past lived in villages or extended family groups, and I feel that a primary relationship should ideally exist within that framework.”

Sana Akhand, 33, told The New York Times that living apart from her husband helped relieve her from the burdens of being a woman in a traditional marriage. “Being a wife is subconsciously really draining, because you’re just thinking about this other person, their well-being,” Akhand said.

Married couples who live apart from one another all appear to have taken the time to consciously consider their relationships and position them based on their needs, instead of the demands of the culture at large. It makes a lot of sense. Just because a lifestyle works for someone else doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you or your partner.

Planet

Easy (and free!) ways to save the ocean

The ocean is the heart of our planet. It needs our help to be healthy.

Ocean Wise

Volunteers at a local shoreline cleanup

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The ocean covers over 71% of the Earth’s surface and serves as our planet’s heart. Ocean currents circulate vital heat, moisture, and nutrients around the globe to influence and regulate our climate, similar to the human circulatory system. Cool, right?

Our ocean systems provide us with everything from fresh oxygen to fresh food. We need it to survive and thrive—and when the ocean struggles to function healthfully, the whole world is affected.

Pollution, overfishing, and climate change are the three biggest challenges preventing the ocean from doing its job, and it needs our help now more than ever. Humans created the problem; now humans are responsible for solving it.

#BeOceanWise is a global rallying cry to do what you can for the ocean, because we need the ocean and the ocean needs us. If you’re wondering how—or if—you can make a difference, the answer is a resounding YES. There are a myriad of ways you can help, even if you don’t live near a body of water. For example, you can focus on reducing the amount of plastic you purchase for yourself or your family.

Another easy way to help clean up our oceans is to be aware of what’s known as the “dirty dozen.” Every year, scientists release an updated list of the most-found litter scattered along shorelines. The biggest culprit? Single-use beverage and food items such as foam cups, straws, bottle caps, and cigarette butts. If you can’t cut single-use plastic out of your life completely, we understand. Just make sure to correctly recycle plastic when you are finished using it. A staggering 3 million tons of plastic ends up in our oceans annually. Imagine the difference we could make if everyone recycled!

The 2022 "Dirty Dozen" ListOcean Wise

If you live near a shoreline, help clean it up! Organize or join an effort to take action and make a positive impact in your community alongside your friends, family, or colleagues. You can also tag @oceanwise on social if you spot a beach that needs some love. The location will be added to Ocean Wise’s system so you can submit data on the litter found during future Shoreline Cleanups. This data helps Ocean Wise work with businesses and governments to stop plastic pollution at its source. In Canada, Ocean Wise data helped inform a federal ban on unnecessary single-use plastics. Small but important actions like these greatly help reduce the litter that ends up in our ocean.

Ocean Wise, a conservation organization on a mission to restore and protect our oceans, is focused on empowering and educating everyone from individuals to governments on how to protect our waters. They are making conservation happen through five big initiatives: monitoring and protecting whales, fighting climate change and restoring biodiversity, innovating for a plastic-free ocean, protecting and restoring fish stocks, and finally, educating and empowering youth. The non-profit believes that in order to rebuild a resilient and vibrant ocean within the next ten years, everyone needs to take action.

Become an Ocean Wise ally and share your knowledge with others. The more people who know how badly the ocean needs our help, the better! Now is a great time to commit to being a part of something bigger and get our oceans healthy again.

Pets

Family brings home the wrong dog from daycare until their cats saved the day

A quick trip to the vet confirmed the cats' and family's suspicions.

Family accidentally brings wrong dog home but their cats knew

It's not a secret that nearly all golden retrievers are identical. Honestly, magic has to be involved for owners to know which one belongs to them when more than one golden retriever is around. Seriously, how do they all seem have the same face? It's like someone fell asleep on the copy machine when they were being created.

Outside of collars, harnesses and bandanas, immediately identifying the dog that belongs to you has to be a secret skill because at first glance, their personalities are also super similar. That's why it's not surprising when one family dropped off their sweet golden pooch at daycare and to be groomed, they didn't notice the daycare sent out the wrong dog.

See, not even their human parents can tell them apart because when the swapped dog got home, nothing seemed odd to the owners at first. She was freshly groomed so any small differences were quickly brushed off. But this accidental doppelgänger wasn't fooling her feline siblings.

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Vivid Seats is your gateway to premium live experiences

With countless unique events at your fingertips, Vivid Seats is the ultimate playground for event enthusiasts.

The lights dim, the crowd erupts into cheers, and your heart is racing with pure, unadulterated excitement. Remember that magical night under a canopy of twinkling stars, with your favorite band playing live, where the electrifying energy in the air made you feel truly alive? Those moments of joy, laughter, and perhaps a shared glance with a fellow fan turn into cherished memories, etched in your mind forever.

Now, imagine stepping into a vibrant world where such moments aren't just once-in-a-lifetime experiences but a regular joy. This is where Vivid Seats steps in, a gateway to not just witness but truly live these awe-inspiring moments. With a remarkable array of events and a seamless journey from choosing an event to stepping into the venue, Vivid Seats promises not just tickets but keys to unforgettable experiences, opening doors to a world where every fan finds their heart's desire. Vivid Seats crafts memories that are as vivid as life itself!

Discover a World of Events with Vivid Seats

Imagine having a golden ticket that unlocks a world where the music of your favorite band resonates and NFL action unfolds right before your eyes. At Vivid Seats, we turn this dream into reality, offering access to over a million unique events. It's not just a ticket; it's your passport to unforgettable experiences!

Navigating this vast array of events is a breeze with Vivid Seats. Our platform is designed with you in mind, making it easy to find and book the events you love. With a user-friendly interface and exciting features, we ensure your journey from choosing to attending an event is as smooth and enjoyable as possible.

Your Trusted Partner in Live Entertainment

Diving into the whirlwind of live events is now a breeze with Vivid Seats by your side. They have a rock-solid 100% buyer guarantee. It promises you valid and authentic tickets every time, wiping away those nagging worries about online ticket purchases. And the transactions are 100% safe, keeping your precious information secured. It doesn't end there! In case you stumble upon any hitches, there's a friendly team ready to assist you and ensure your journey is a smooth one.

But Vivid Seats is not just a ticket provider; it's your go-to source for the latest buzz in the entertainment sphere. Whether you're into foot-tapping Latin beats, thrilling touchdowns, or sensational pop concerts, the Vivid Seats blog is your treasure trove of information. It keeps you in the loop with the freshest updates on tour dates, NFL schedules, and much more, ensuring you're always ahead in planning your next vivacious outing.

Taking Customer Service to the Next Level

Stepping up in the game of offering exceptional experiences, Vivid Seats has got your back with their top-notch customer service. Imagine having a friend who's always there to help you score the best seats, any day, anytime! With extended business hours, you can reach out and expect a helpful hand to assist you, be it a ticket reissuing dilemma or other concerns. They are your friendly guide to the world of live events, always ready to lend a helping hand.

And don't sweat those last-minute ticket hunts; Vivid Seats has mastered the art of delivering happiness right on time. Even if the clock is ticking, they maneuver skillfully to ensure your tickets reach you before the event kicks off. No more nail-biting moments, only the joyful anticipation of a great time ahead. Vivid Seats is your trusted ally in crafting unforgettable moments, sprinkled with ease and convenience!

A “Rewarding” Journey

There is no thrill like an amazing live event! That’s why Vivid Seats devised a fantastic rewards program where every ticket you buy gets you a step closer to even more spectacular experiences.

With each ticket you snag, you're not just securing a seat but also collecting stamps that take you closer to delightful rewards. It's as simple as "Collect, Redeem, Repeat!" Just grab any ticket to any event you fancy, and lo and behold, stamps will start piling up in your account automatically, paving the way to exciting Reward Credits. These credits are your golden ticket to even more exhilarating events, easily redeemable through the Vivid Seats app.

But hold on, the fun doesn't stop there! You see, the more you dive into these live experiences, the higher you climb up the loyalty ladder. Starting as a 'Fan', where birthday treats await, you could escalate to a 'Rising Star' with two years of reward credit validity. Pump up the game to be a 'Super Fan' and see your credits last for three glorious years. And for the true aficionados, the 'Icon' level unfolds with a splendid four-year span to use your credits and enjoy surprise upgrades.

Join the Vivid Seats Community

Have you ever wanted to be part of a club where excitement never ends? Well, guess what? You're invited to join a vibrant family of over 15 million delighted fans, just like you, at Vivid Seats. With Vivid Seats, you don't just attend events; you create lasting memories.

With Vivid Seats, you get to be part of a thriving community where every live event becomes a canvas of colorful and shared experiences. You don't just watch from afar; you dive in!

Ready to step into a world brimming with thrilling events? Click here to visit the Vivid Seats website now and start your adventure. Your journey to vibrant and memorable experiences begins with a simple click. Let's get this party started!

Sandra Maria/Youtube, Official Lives & Music Videos/Youtube

You can't not sing this song.

The music of Queen has a profound visceral effect on everyone. Few pieces of art can cause complete strangers to put aside their differences and come together in song, but by golly, “Bohemian Rhapsody” is one of them. It would be cheesy if it weren’t so absolutely beautiful.

This pertains even to non-English-speaking countries, it appears. Recently, thousands of Harry Styles concertgoers in Warsaw, Poland, began cheering as those iconic beginning piano notes penetrated the air.
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Joy

Video of sisters trying to fix a DIY haircut perfectly captures the chaos of sisterhood

“This is THE sisters experience…you captured the whole thing."

@palmview956oficial/TikTok

Sisterhood in a nutshell

Ask any group of sisters what it was like growing up with each other, and they will undoubtedly use the word chaos. Girlhood in itself is a bit of a delightfully feral time. Add yet another wild child (or more) into the mix, and you never know what’s going to happen.

But there’s also a beautiful loyalty. Sure, sisters can turn from friends to enemies on a dime, but in those purer moments, you’ll see them stop at nothing to help one another.

And it’s all these aspects, and everywhere in between, that were captured in a hilarious TikTok as three sisters banded together to fix a DIY haircut gone wrong…the day before school picture day, no less.
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Joy

Mom tells wild story of how her daughter kidnapped a 'chocolate baby' while out grocery shopping

People have a sneaking suspicion that the little girl has seen 'Corina, Corina' one too many times.

Mom shares wild story of how her daughter kidnapped a baby

Sometimes we hear a story that makes us collectively confused. Should we be offended? Laugh? Donate to a parents future bail fund for their children? It's really a toss up but the consensus on this mom's eyebrow raising story is that laughter and bail money are both appropriate responses.

Maranda Arbogast, a mom that runs the TikTok page, momma.chaos, shared a hilariously mortifying story of a time she took her three daughters grocery shopping and somehow wound up in a, "one of these things is not like the others" moment. The mom of three leads into the story by explaining that she is raising children that will likely have run ins with the law.

"Some families gotta save money for medical expenses or college funds. We gotta save money for bail because we are raising criminals, especially my middle daughter. It's always the middle child," Arbogast jokes. "She's gotta be frisked before we leave anywhere."

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@hannahjeanrn/TikTok

What a unique bonding experience

Period simulators gave cis-gendered men a painful glimpse of what women go through on a monthly basis. But what about going through life with an actual human growing in their belly?

That’s where the watermelon challenge comes in.

TikTok’s watermelon challenge is a simple concept, where dads-to-be strap watermelons, weighing somewhere around 14 pounds, onto their bellies in order to simulate what it’s like for pregnant moms. Bonus point for taping mangos onto the chest because #lactation.

The results are both hilarious and illuminating.

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