upworthy

childhood

Friendship

A boy and his garbage man became great friends. The unexpected goodbye hit them both hard.

After four years, Noah learned his neighborhood would be getting a new driver.

via Canva/Photos
A sanitation worker taking a garbage can to the truck.

There's not a 9-year-old boy on the planet without at least a passing interest in big trucks. There are many wonderful reasons why little kids are fascinated, and at the same time, perhaps a little scared of garbage trucks. They have bright colors, flashing lights, and have massive moving parts that shriek and moan as they lift the garbage bins and throw them in the back of the truck. They are also impressed by the operator who pulls the levers and makes the massive machine lift and dump.

Little kids have this fascination until they are around five or six, until one day when the garbage man comes by they no longer feel the need to run out and watch.

However, a touching story out of Florida shows that nine-year-old Noah Carrigan never lost his love for the garbage man, and that’s because they forged a sweet relationship.

But unfortunately, after the city changed its waste management contracts, the garbage collector will no longer stop by Noah’s house.

sanitation workers, garbage man, garbage truck, sanitation truck, kids and trucks, truck love Sanitation workers are an important part of the community. Photo by James Day on Unsplash

“It started out as something so simple—he was just fascinated by the garbage truck,” Noah’s mom, Catherine Carrigan, told SWNS.

“For years, every Tuesday, he would run outside to wave, and the garbage man always waved back, honked the horn, and acknowledged him.”

She filmed the garbage man’s last pickup at his house, and it marked the end of an era.

- YouTube youtu.be

On the garbage man’s final visit, Noah handed him a bottle of water, a handwritten note, and some gifts to express his gratitude and appreciation for the kindness and years of friendship. "He wanted to write him a thank you note with garbage truck toys he used to play with," the mother wrote on a social media post. “This farewell hit hard,” she admitted.


One of the unique aspects of being a parent is that there are many last moments you have with your child, although you never know it at the time. Whether it’s the last time you pick up your child, the final time that you read The Little Engine That Could, or the last time that you put a Band-Aid on their knee after a fall, these final moments go without fanfare, but if you knew at the time that you’d never have that moment again, you’d cherish every second.


@holisticspark

For years my son has been waving to the same garbage man every week. 🚛💙 Today, he says goodbye as his favorite garbage man retires. 🥹 Thank you for your years of kindness! 👏🏼♥️ #garbagemanhero #garbageman #wholesomemoments #kindnessmatters #communitylove #heartwarming #goodbyefriend

That's why parents need to take a moment to realize that they are in the midst of something beautiful that is fleeting. So, when there are those nights when you're tired and don’t feel like reading them a book before bed, or getting off the couch to play catch, knowing you only have so many of these moments is a great way to enjoy them. Because one day, when they’re gone, you’ll wish you could have read one more book or spent that nice spring day on the lawn throwing a ball around.

That’s why the story about young Noah and the garbage man is wonderful. On one level, it's a touching story about the friendship between a man and a young boy, highlighting the importance of the people who work in our communities. On the other hand, it’s a reminder that some of these simple joys in life we share with children will one day end—and you can’t turn back the clock.

This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated


Education

Teacher’s heartfelt video on how smartphones hurt students makes the case for phone-free schools

“My heart goes out to teachers. It shouldn’t be this hard to teach.”

A group of high schoolers look bored.

Much has been made in recent years about the effects that smartphones have had on young people, and that has led at least 19 states in the U.S to impose some sort of limitation on children having cell phones in schools, whether it’s a total ban or having the kids put their phones into pockets outside the classroom.

Social scientist Jonathan Haidt, a leader in the phone-free schools movement and author of The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness, recently shared a video on Instagram where a teacher he identified as Emma shared how smartphones have made her students apathetic.

teens with phones, kids and phones, anxiety, smeartphone addiction, dopamine, phones schools Two kids looking at their phones.via Canva/Photos

“First of all, the kids have no ability to be bored whatsoever. They live on their phones, and they are just fed a constant stream of dopamine from the minute their eyes wake up in the morning until they go to sleep at night,” the teacher says. “Because they're in a constant state of dopamine withdrawal at school, they behave like addicts. They're super emotional; the smallest things set them off. And when you're standing in front of them trying to teach, they're vacant. They have no ability to tune in if your communication isn't packaged in short little clips or if it doesn't have bright, flashing lights.”


The hardest part, Emma says, is that “They have their eyes looking at me, but they're not there...They have a level of apathy that I've never seen before in my whole career...It's like you are interacting with them briefly in between hits of the Internet, which is their real life.”

Haidt praised the video for doing what he says is a great job of sharing the damage that smartphones have done to children's developmental progress—and that the problem extends far beyond the dangers of social media, affecting their basic brain function.

“This is why I’m not only talking about #socialmedia—in the book I describe an entirely different kind of childhood that #smartphones have ushered in,” Haidt wrote in the comments. “I call it the #phonebasedchildhood, because it’s not just that touch-screen devices have added entertainment and 'connection'—they have replaced developmentally necessary aspects of childhood.”

teens with phones, kids and phones, anxiety, smeartphone addiction, dopamine, phones schools Teenagers taking selfies.via Canva/Photos

Haidt offers recommendations for parents and schools to help prevent children from developing trouble focusing or being away from their smartphones. He says parents shouldn’t allow their kids to have a smartphone before high school, as well as no social media until they are 16 years old.

When it comes to schools, Haidt believes that allowing students to bring their phones to class, provided they don’t use them, won’t help the problem. Instead, he thinks kids should place their phones in Yondr pouches, which are locked until the end of the day, or in phone lockers where they can retrieve them after school.

With pushback from teachers and social scientists such as Haidt, there is renewed hope that young people can find a better balance between real life and technology.

Kids

Resurfaced clip of 3-year-old girl explaining 'self love' in less than a minute is pure joy

"Sometimes you need to talk to a three-year-old to understand a thing about life."

Photo Credit: Canva

A young girl and a woman hug themselves in an act of self-love.

There are times that age has nothing to do with wisdom. In fact, sometimes the pureness of youth can help us grasp ideas many of us spend a lifetime wrestling to understand. A video of a three-year-old girl being interviewed by her father has resurfaced recently on social media. In 50 seconds flat, she sums up the importance of self-love so beautifully and simply and is bringing true joy to many who watch.

Conor T. Murphy has occasional chats with his daughter Ty, who just turned six last week. On one occasion, he asked her point blank, "When do you feel loved?" She thinks for a split second and answers, "When someone hugs me and when I'm not lonely." He repeats these words back to her and she adds, "And when I hug myself."

@conortmurphy

Self love advice from Dr. Ty


He asks, "Do you think it's important to hug yourself? Why?" She answers without blinking, "Just because I'm a doctor." He affirms that she is, indeed, a doctor, and questions, "So because you're a doctor, you know that hugging yourself is helpful?" She adds, "It makes me feel relaxed."

He follows up, "Can you show me how you hug yourself?" Ty proceeds to give herself a huge bear hug, while smiling. "That's what we call self-love," Conor tells her. "And it's important, right?" She agrees emphatically. "Yeah, we have to love ourselves." He wraps it up by saying, "I think that's two very important lessons. We have to love ourselves—and everyone poops."

(The last line was not apropos of nothing. He is referring to a segment earlier in their conversation, wherein he brought up the topic of going to the bathroom. She adorably exclaims she is not afraid to poop!)

@conortmurphy

Everybody poops. “We really need to talk abut this” 😂😂


The comments were so truly wholesome. On TikTok, a person referenced Ty's "medical career," and asked, "Can she give me prescriptions for hugs, please?"

Another noted that Conor seems like a truly wonderful father, writing, "Dude, she's amazing. Good job Dad, you're doing a darn good job."

Just a few days ago, Conor posted a photo of himself with Ty on Instagram, celebrating her birthday. He writes, "One of my favorite things to do is answer people when they ask how my daughter is. If you have met her before, you understand why this brings me so much joy to answer this truthfully and wholeheartedly. Happy Birthday, Ty. 6 years old today. Seems like she was a 1 year old yesterday."

Again, the comments show love for both Ty and Conor. One writes, "Happy Birthday Sweet Ty! You are genuinely one of my favorite people whom I’ve never met."

Experts have discussed the importance of self-love over the centuries. Psychologist Sharon Martin, DSW, LCSW explains in a piece for Psychology Today, "Self-love entails accepting yourself wholeheartedly, treating yourself with kindness and respect, and prioritizing your physical and emotional health. It goes beyond mere actions and extends to your thoughts and feelings about yourself."

She illustrates helpful ways that one can practice self-love. Among many, one that stood out is the idea of "celebrating your achievements." We forget sometimes how far we've come. Martin reminds us, "Acknowledging and celebrating your accomplishments, no matter how big or small. For example, treat yourself to something you enjoy, reflect on your growth, or share your successes with trusted friends or loved ones."

Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University, is quoted in an article for Verywell Mind noting that the love that we give ourselves will help the love that we have for others feel secure and healthy: "It’s important to have self-worth because it impacts everything you do from your relationships, to how you work, how you feel about yourself, and how others view you."

Conor T Murphy and his daughter Ty discuss important matters. www.youtube.com, Bignight Media

If at such a young age Ty has this much figured out, imagine what wisdom she'll impart as she continues to grow!

Parenting

I want more core memories with my kids. Experts say 6 things will make them last forever.

Psychologists say doing these things can make experiences more "sticky."

Canva Photos

Psychologists reveal 6 things that make core memories stick forever.

My wife and I took our oldest daughter to Italy when she was around three years old. We saw the Colosseum in Rome, took selfies with the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and biked our way through the beautiful city of Lucca. If you ask her now, she hardly remembers a thing about it.

It's probably asking a lot—after all, some long-term memories begin forming around two to three years old, but most of them don't last through adolescence—but I'm just saying: it would be nice if she remembered that amazing adventure, all the incredibly family time we got together, and all the laughs we had as we struggled our way through Italian menus. It's the kind of thing that would have made an amazing core memory.

A core memory, if you remember from the film Inside Out, is a foundational experience that plays a big role in the person children end up becoming. It's an unforgettable memory that sticks with them forever and shapes big portions of their personality and adult lives. For example, taking your child to their first football game might very well spark a lifelong love of the sport. Just like how getting heavily bullied might influence the way they relate to others for a long, long time.

If you're like me, you want to fill your kids' childhood with happy memories, and it would be really great if they actually wound up remembering some of them.

Scientists and psychologists say there are six things you can do to make your memories and experiences more "sticky" and help create core memories that will last forever.

core memories, pixar, inside out, memory, brain science, childhood, kids, parenting, dads, fatherhood, parents, family 'Inside Out' popularized the concept of core memories. Giphy

1. Emotional Connection

In the Pixar movies, core memories are heavily linked with strong emotions, and the same is true in real life. The memories that stick with us the longest often aren't about what we saw, heard, tasted, or smelled, but how we felt.

core memories, pixar, inside out, memory, brain science, childhood, kids, parenting, dads, fatherhood, parents, family The strongest memories are driven by emotion. Giphy

"Emotional connection can make an experience more memorable to a child; children remember how something felt more than what happened. Focusing on joy, wonder, love, and fun and giving your child undistracted attention helps turn an outing into a cherished memory," says Dr. Carolina Estevez, Psy.D., psychologist at SOBA New Jersey.

Siobhan Chirico, Psychotherapist and Educator at VOICE Counselling & Education Services, adds that connecting an experience to a child's sense of identity can help cement that experience into long-term memory. For example, if your son finally works up the courage to go down the big, scary water slide ("I'm brave") or your daughter tells a joke that has everyone spitting soda through their noses ("I'm funny"). You'll have to put the phone away and be present and engaged in the moment in order to look for opportunities for meaning in the moments you plan.

2. Repetition

Memories stick when we get to relive them over and over. Study a subject for a test and you'll forget everything in no time. Use it every day and you'll quickly become an expert.

You can apply the same idea to making lasting memories with your kids. Take every opportunity to tell the stories of your adventures to friends, family, and anyone else who might care to listen. Let your kids tell it from their perspective—who cares if they get some of the details wrong or screw up the comedic timing?

Photo albums may have gone out of style, but consider making scrapbooks or photo books of trips and big events in your family life.

"Take pictures intentionally not just of yourself and your child, but where you went and what you did, then invite your child to help you make a memory page or scrapbook as you remember together, reliving all the fun (and not so fun) moments," suggests Cara Tyrrell from Core4Parenting.

This is also why traditions—like hanging the lights on the Christmas tree while The Grinch plays in the background every single year—become so deeply embedded in us.

3. Novelty

As much fun as you might have going to your favorite family restaurant every week, sometimes the most memorable experiences for kids are the new ones—even if those memories aren't picture perfect.

For example, I guarantee your kid will remember their first time trying sushi, even if they end up nearly gagging at the sight of the raw fish. Sometimes, the more of a train wreck an experience is, the more memorable! These frustrating, everything's-going-wrong debacles become really funny stories to tell again and again over time. My daughter's and my first long train ride together a few summers ago was an epic disaster but we never get tired of telling the tale.

Novelty can come in smaller packages (and inexpensive ones), too, like putting a twist on an everyday activity. Chirico says unexpected surprises like "a picnic breakfast in pajamas, a bedtime story under the stars can spark delight and novelty."

4. Hands-on participation

Planning the perfect event is great if you can pull it off. But inviting your child into the planning process can make it even better and more memorable.

My wife recently took our daughter on a girls-only trip to Amsterdam and London. They had a lot of late-night planning sessions, pouring over maps and books together, reading blog posts, watching YouTube videos, and creating their perfect itinerary.

Having some ownership over the experience builds confidence in kids, helps create a sense of identity, and gets them even more engaged in what's happening. It also taps into repetition—they'll remember not just seeing Big Ben in person, but also reading about it, finding it on the map, and plugging it into the travel plan.

5. Sensory overload

The more sensory-rich an experience is, often the more memorable it is. Have you ever smelled something and immediately been transported back to middle school for some reason? Tasted a food that reminded you of your mom's cooking?

core memories, pixar, inside out, memory, brain science, childhood, kids, parenting, dads, fatherhood, parents, family Taste or smell can transport us directly into old memories. Giphy

"When kids are fully immersed through multiple senses, what they see, hear, smell, taste, and touch, the memory gets anchored in a deeper way," says Kim Feeney, play therapist at Butterfly Beginnings Counseling. "Think about it: the smell of sunscreen at the pool, the feel of sticky fingers from roasting marshmallows, the sound of fireworks booming on the 4th of July, those details become cues that can instantly transport a child back to that moment years later."

If you're doing something special with your kids, help point out some of the sensory input they're getting and it may help that experience become a core memory.

6. A good night's sleep

As fun as it is to keep your kids up late in the name of fun, adventure, and family bonding, try not to overdo it. Sleep actually plays an important role in our brain's attempts to commit things to memory. It's why pulling an all-nighter cramming for a test makes sense in theory, but in reality, you wind up losing a lot of good information because you skipped the sleep cycle your memory needed.

"Sleep and rest can also make memories last," writes Estevez. "Sleep consolidates short-term memories into long-term storage, therefore good sleep, especially REM or deep sleep cycles, is critical for making memories last."

core memories, pixar, inside out, memory, brain science, childhood, kids, parenting, dads, fatherhood, parents, family A good sleep helps form new memories. Giphy

In the end, though, don't stress too much about trying to create the perfect environment for core memories. They're a nice idea, and a great plot device for the Inside Out films, but they're not real in a scientific sense. And even if they were or are, it's impossible to predict exactly which memories will stick with us forever.

Our brains have extremely complicated systems of designating which memories to store and which ones to ditch. Every single one of us has mundane memories of no importance or significance that we, inexplicably, carry with us everywhere. And all of us have sadly forgotten about really incredible moments in our lives that would have been great to hold on to.

One thing that didn't make the list: Money. Kids won't remember how much you spent, only the feelings of laughter, love, and adventure that you help create for them.