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"80% less stress": Family with newborn reveals how life changed after they left America

"I went to eat with my baby at a restaurant in Spain and my baby started screaming..."

Canva Photos

One family says living abroad with young kids has massively reduced their stress.

Most burnt-out parents I know have at least toyed with the idea of moving far, far away. You can only handle so many news stories of school shootings or eroding child labor laws in the US before you seriously start to think about what life could be like elsewhere.

And it's not even necessarily these drastic issues that are so worrying. It's the day to day: the high cost of childcare and living, the extremely fast pace of American life, and being horribly anxious that taking your kids out in public will bother someone's peace and quiet. It's all a lot, and it's taking a serious toll on American parents' mental health.

Marae and Roger Torrelier hit a tipping point when their five-year-old was getting ready to start school in the US. The two had lived in several different states, including far-away Alaska, but they were finally ready to try a different way of life.

The family of four now live in Malaga, Spain with their older child and a baby. Marae has been documenting the journey on social media and how it differs from their experience living in America.

For starters, they say they're way more comfortable being out and about with their kids in public.

"[In the US] we've encountered venues that even refuse children, whereas in Europe and Asia, children are welcomed almost everywhere," mom told Newsweek.

The family has found their new home in Spain to be far more family- and kid-friendly, not just in the design and policies of the cities, but in the way strangers interact and respond to children.

"Playgrounds have cafés so you can have a coffee, a meal or drink while the kids play. People often interact with our kids with kindness, neighbors know them and ask about them."

I remember visiting Italy with my then-4-year-old and being amazed at how relaxed I felt sitting in a piazza having a glass of wine while she wandered and played in the busy square. It's still one of my top overall memories!

In one viral clip on the family's TikTok, Marae admits "I went to eat with my baby at a restaurant in Spain and my baby started screaming..." You know, baby does as babies do. But what the people around her did surprised the mom.

"The chef came out running to see 'the cute baby' and see if he could make her something to eat. Then he started showing her to the rest of the staff."

In the clip, the smiling chef can be seen playing with the baby before passing her off to another staff member, who is overjoyed to hold the little cutie.

@bravefamilytravel

The sweetest people 😭 #spaintravel #travelwithababy

"We’ve been outside of the US for less than a year and my stress levels have decreased by 80%," she writes in another post on Instagram.

In this clip, the family has popped on over to Italy for a visit, and a sweet old Italian man stops while passing by to smile and wave at the baby.

"When my baby cries I’m not afraid a stranger is gonna come and complain she’s being loud. Instead, they approach to see how they can help. When strangers approach I’m not afraid of what they’ll do but rather excited to see the interaction"

"This is the way it should be. We are social beings. This is the village. ... If you’re looking for a taste of what a child and family friendly society looks like, come to Italy."

There are a lot of things that make many other countries around the world, particularly in Europe, extremely appealing for families.

Kind people, and rude people, exist all over the world. Grumpy folks aren't unique to America. But some parts of the world just have better infrastructure for parents with young kids.

Places like Spain or Italy often have a slower way of life, more built-in time off for workers, better maternity and paternity leave, and childcare that is astronomically more affordable.

(In the United States, putting two or even just one child in full-time daycare so both parents can work costs about as much as a mortgage.)

@bravefamilytravel

we’ve been outside of the US for less than 2 months and my stress levels have decreased by 80%

Viewers and commenters love hearing about the family's journey, and have been quick to share their own stories of living and traveling abroad.

"In Singapore, the sweet Asian ladies took my baby out of my hands, a group of older women circled around her, and couldn’t believe she had blonde hair and blue eyes. It was absolutely such a sweet moment, and you could understand there was no threat."

"We hear a baby cry and we 1) Understand babies cry 2) Hope mum / dad isn't too stressed 3) we've all been there and 4) we remember our little ones"

"In italy we say "it takes a town to grow up a child". It's rare to see people not being kind to kids"

"You should visit Japan once. Babies are rare there because of population decline so they get such a celebrity status kinda love that its heart-rending."

@bravefamilytravel

Best decision ever 😂 says baby Atlas 👏

European countries aren't without their own problems. And believe it or not, there are lots of great communities and villages right here at home in America. You just have to put in a little extra effort to seek them out.

You may not feel comfortable letting your toddler loose in a busy city square here in America. But you can definitely cultivate a close group of family friends who live nearby, maybe even in walking distance.

And you can definitely be that person who offers to hold a crying baby or gives a reassuring smile to a tired parent who's worried they're bothering everyone.

You don't have to move halfway across the world to seek out a different way of life, or make a difference in other people's. But... it sure would be nice if America could make it a little easier sometimes.

via Angie Jones / Twitter and Matt Blaze / Flickr

10 Black women sat in first class on an airplane and it revealed a lot about race in America

Software developer Angie Jones' recent girls' trip revealed that America still has a long way to go regarding race. To most, that's not surprising. But what's unique is how the specific experience Jones and her friends went through revealed the pervasive way systemic racism still runs through our culture.

Jones is the Senior Director of Developer Relations at Applitools, holds 26 patented inventions in the United States of America and Japan, and is an IBM Master Inventor.

On July 27, she tweeted about a flight she took with nine other Black women, and they all sat in first class. "People literally could not process how it was possible," she wrote. "Staff tried to send us to regular lines. Passengers made snide remarks. One guy even yelled 'are they a higher class of people than I am?!'"


Jones and her friends were the targets of racism that ranged from the seemingly unconscious — people who assumed that Black people don't sit in first class — to the blatant — those who were seriously bothered that Black people were being treated as having a higher status.

It's interesting that she didn't mention anyone saying "good for you" for succeeding in a world that often holds people of color back. Instead, she was greeted with incredulity and jealous rage.

There are a lot of white people who can't stand the idea of a Black person being elevated above them. It's disturbing that there are still some who will admit it publicly.

Jones' tweets inspired a lot of people to share their stories about the racism they've experienced while flying first class.



Jones' tweets also angered some people to the point that they denied her story. She responded, "To those saying I'm lying, you're a huge part of the problem," she wrote. "You tell yourself a notable person is lying (for what reason, I cannot figure out) before you believe there are actual racists in...America."

One Twitter user gave the perfect retort to the person who asked, "Are they a higher class of people than I am?!"

The sight of 10 affluent women of color was upsetting to some, probably because it upset their sense of racial hierarchy. To those who have the ingrained feeling that white people should always be above Black people, it had to be a shock to the system. Especially when they are sitting in economy and the Black women are in first class. To those who harbor racial resentment, they probably had to confront their own feelings of insecurity when seeing that these Black women have been able to succeed in a world where they're supposed to be on the bottom rung of the social ladder.

This article originally appeared three years ago.


Apparently, losing your job without notice is an American phenomenon.

When you live in one country your whole life, it's easy to form ideas about what's "normal" and what's not. Cultural standards and accepted norms vary country by country, though, sometimes in dramatic ways that we wouldn't even think of.

That's why when someone asked, "What’s a very American problem that Americans don’t realize isn’t normal in other countries?" the answers were eye-opening. Seeing major aspects of American life that are not realities in other countries, especially other wealthy, developed nations, is wild. It's also a good reminder that we all have things to learn from one another and the things we might think of as impossible actually aren't.

from AskReddit

Lots to think about here as we ponder our quality of life and what's worth trying harder to change:

The cost of healthcare and medical bankruptcy

"Was in Germany with food poisoning. Drove myself to the ER. They were SHOOK when I told them I did. They then quietly told me you don't pay for ambulances there."

"I’ve never understood why police and firefighters get covered but we get a bill for ambulances. You'd think anything related to 911 is covered by our taxes."

ambulance ride, er visit, emergency room, medical costs. emergencyAmbulance rides can cost a pretty penny in the U.S.Photo credit: Canva

"First time I was living in Japan (didn’t understand the healthcare yet) and took a cab to the ER. They were so concerned and confused why I would do that. I was seen immediately, given IV, six medications on my way out: it only cost my like 60$USD. My friend apologized for how I had to pay so much as a non-citizen. I was shocked it was so cheap."

"I had a cancer diagnosis in 2019 and I joined an online support group. Americans were worried about the costs or losing their job because of missed days for treatment and doctors appointments. I'm Canadian. None of that stuff was any part of my worries. FYI, we got it all. I'm good."

"Yea the amount of GoFundMe’s for just like routine life medical s__t is wild."

"Breaking Bad would not have happened anywhere else but the US."

Prescription drug commercials

"I can’t even afford to go to the doctor. What makes you think I would book an appointment to see a doctor and ask for a drug that could give me 'blindness, or even death.'"

list of side effects, gif, America, drugs, problemsSide effects from drugs, GIF by Eternal FamilyGiphy

"I really love the ones that can give you 'potentially fatal disintegration of the perineum.'"

"This sports game brought to you by a prescription drug with a long list of horrifying side effects!"

Losing your job without notice

"That you can lose your job without warning. No notice period where you can get paid while looking for something else. Just getting thrown out of a workplace you've been at for years, with your belongings. And that this can lead to losing your right to proper health care because of insurance. Basically, no rights and no safety net. Only the rich seem to get severance packages."

"In my first job in Europe, I and the university screwed up majorly with my visa and I ended up stranded in Canada for a couple of weeks waiting to fix it. When I wrote to my boss to tell him what happened, I reassured him that I knew I'd probably lose my job over this etc. He was shocked that I even thought it was a possibility."

being fired, losing job, lay off, America, being laid off with no noticeOther countries have policies that prevent being let go with no notice.Photo credit: Canva

"Here in Ireland, there's been multiple instances where American-run companies think they can fire/lay off employees just like in America, and end up getting legal proceedings taken against them as a result."

"In Norway 3 months notice with pay is the standard."

No guaranteed maternity leave

"I still can't believe paid maternity leave is not a standard thing. And shit like women going back to work two weeks after giving birth. What is going on?"

"I know of a company that was bought out by an American company. They tried to enforce American rules on maternity leave. It did not work out well for them."

Pregnant woman, maternity leave, pregnancy, America, american parental leave policiesPaid parental leave is not guaranteed in the U.S.Photo credit: Canva

"The company I worked for denied my maternity leave and then approved it and then fired me for a system error that I begged them to fix for month. One that I didn’t cause. The maternity leave wasn’t even paid, it was just so I could return to work."

"I'm sorry, not an American. How are people meant to deal with raising a child without a maternity leave?"

Vacation time is seen as a luxury

"Getting time off. 2 weeks here feels like a lot. You work a bunch to get some more time off after x number of years. Other countries can get a month off no issue it seems like."

"I'm in the UK, I get 6 weeks plus bank holidays. I want more, asked for more, so my manager checked with HR. He now can approve another 3 weeks unpaid every year without needing further approval.

Also my American colleagues get the same benefits including 6 months paternity leave (full pay). He used it and he said his family genuinely questioned if he'd been fired and was trying to hide it. 😂"

"The law in France forces me to take 2 consecutive weeks between May and October of each year. After that I still have almost 6 weeks of vacation left on top of public holidays. You can take 3 weeks in a row without issue, but 4+ requires some negotiation, but it really depends on your job and company, for some it's a non-issue."

vacation time, time off from work, sitting by the pool, relaxingVacation time is seen as a given, not a luxury, in Europe and Australia.Photo credit: Canva

"I get 4 weeks Annual Leave a year + 2 weeks sick leave [in Australia]. They accrue and the annual leave must be paid out when you leave the company. I also get Long Service Leave (13 weeks at 10 years of service and 1.3 weeks every year after that.)"

"A friend of mine has like 5-6 weeks vacation per year in the US. Hasn't taken more than a week off within a year for years now. And I don't even think it's a full week as a block. He just takes 5 days max within the year."

Gun violence

"Guns. So many guns. So much gun violence. Just not an issue in other countries."

"Active shooter drills for kids in school. Bullet proof backpacks."

"One of the things that may surprise Americans, is that over in Europe and other places in the world, we don't do gun drills at schools or other places. We don't simply need to, because firearms offences are so low."

Protesters, holding signs, advocating unity, action, anti-gun sentimentsGun violence and active shooter drills are not the norm in other developed nations.Photo credit: Canva

"There are a lot of developed countries with a lot of guns. Canada, Switzerland, Finland, for example. Heck, even the UK has a lot of shot guns in the countryside.

The American culture of gun violence is unmatched in the developed world. It's not quite as bad as some Central America or under developed countries, but it's definitely an outlier in developed countries...I guess that is just America in general."

There are lots of wonderful things about the United States, but that doesn't mean there aren't places we could improve. Sure, some of these things are enormous, systemic things that are difficult to change, but knowing they're not "normal," only normal for Americans, might give us an extra push to advocate for what we really want as a people.

A French woman, a cheerleader, and a garbage disposal.

As the leader of the free world, many people outside of the U.S. have strong opinions about America and its residents. Not all of them are accurate, of course, which can lead to some misunderstandings with non-Americans. However, it also opens the door for plenty of humor.

Americans are admired by many across the world for our creativity, entrepreneurial spirit, and can-do attitude. But they also draw some side-eye for their love of huge portions, guns, and patriotism. Non-Americans are also skeptical about why they have garbage disposals and love putting ranch dressing on just about everything.

A Reddit user asked Americans for “the funniest thing a foreigner has said to you about America.” The answers were a great mix of cultural misunderstandings, myth-busting, and much-needed geography lessons. Here are 15 of the funniest things non-Americans have told Americans about the U.S.

laughing, man in hoodie, gen alpha, man with beard, funny, jokeA man laughing.via Canva/Photos

1. Slick Willy

"While being transported from the airport to the hotel in Morocco, the cab driver said, 'American?' I responded, 'Yes.' His response: 'Ahhh yes. Bill Clinton.'"

"Buddy was in Eastern Europe in the 90s, and a little old lady who spoke no English found out he was American and just said 'Monica Lewinsky' and then laughed."

2. American monsters

"An International Student (from Malta) and I were hanging out at the 'Smoker's Lounge,' aka the place in front of the dorms where people smoked. A raccoon popped out of one of the trash cans, and he freaked out and said that the animals in North America were the size of monsters."

3. It's a big country

"A Japanese person once told me that the US is 'enviably wide.'"

"Because Japan is similarly tall, but lamentably skinny."


american, us map, map of us, territory, cities of us, A map of the United States.via Canva/Photos

4. Melon farmers?

"A guy from the UK I know loves to refer to Americans as melon farmers. Melon farming imbeciles. Doesn't know what some object I refer to is? Must be some kind of weird melon farming contraption. Where have I been the last few days? Must have been tending to my melon farm. I wish I had a backyard instead of a dumb asphalt apartment parking lot? Ah, I must be missing life back on my melon farm."

5. No wood houses

"This man I knew in college was from rural Kenya. Apparently, your temporary house was constructed of wood. Folks that had gained enough wealth no longer had a wooden house."

"We had a guy from Kenya bring pumpkin spice muffins to a potluck. He said something like 'I see how you keep pumpkins on your porches, so I figured you must really love them.'"

6. We love ranch

"A French guy asked me if we really put ranch on everything. I said, 'Yes, even salad,' and he stared at me like I’d just admitted to living in a dumpster."



7. Guns, guns, guns

"A Persian man that I worked with did a redneck impression. He said 'I'm an American and I like guns and Jesus' in a perfect southern accent."

"When I lived in Italy, one of the first questions my neighbors asked was 'How many guns do you have and where do you keep them all?' They were absolutely floored that I didn’t own any guns."

8. Small world

"A waiter in Prague asked where I was from. I told him Boston. He said, 'Oh, I have a friend named Tomas Dvorak in Wyoming. Do you know him?'"

9. We love peanut butter

"When I studied abroad in Germany, my host family told me 'We bought lots of peanut butter for you. We know Americans need peanut butter.' I do love peanut butter, but I had definitely never heard that stereotype before!"

"I did once startle a lovely Australian couple with my PBJ. Apparently, PB and J are only considered compatible here in North America. They looked at the sandwich I made with the same kind of horror I might’ve used on something with, IDK, tuna and marshmallow fluff."

10. Are cheerleaders real?

"'Are cheerleaders real?' Cheerleaders were in movies, but a teenager in London had no idea if that was a real thing. It was a charming conversation as a teenager."

"I like how foreigners will believe that everyone in America is dodging gunfights and car chases on their morning commute, but then think we made up cheerleaders and yellow busses for the movies."


cheerleaders, football, cheerleader squad, rah-rah, high school girls, Cheerleaders with their pom-poms up.via Canva/Photos

11. Sweet tea is addictive

"A British friend of mine called southern sweet tea 'the most vile, disturbing, horrific swill ever created. Please bring another pitcher.'"

"If they don't have to amputate a foot after your first glass it needs more sugar."

12. Angry sink

"Saying I had an angry sink because it had a garbage disposal in it."

13. Crossed-up

"My fiancé from the Netherlands asked what the 'zing' road sign meant that he kept seeing everywhere. I couldn’t figure out what the heck he was talking about at first. It was the X-ing (crossing) sign."

"My international colleague thought it was a word in Chinese (Xing) and was very confused by this lol."


crosswalk, city, big city, stressts, cars, pedestriansPeople crossing the street.via Canva/Photos

14. It's bigger than you think

"My wife's Swedish cousins thought they could go explore both New York City and Los Angeles in a single weekend."

"Also had Swedish visitors, and we live in New England. They wanted to take a drive to California during the 5 days they were going to be here, and they wanted to stop and see the Grand Canyon along the way, then be back in time to catch their flight home out of Boston."

15. The Ohios

"Was at a pub in Italy with a friend, and some of the guys found out we were American. Proceeded to take shots with them toasting ‘to the Ohios!’… we’re not from Ohio lol."

"Which Ohio are you not from, North Ohio, or South Ohio?"