Woman shows moments leading up to her suicide attempt as a jarring reminder to everyone
Reach out to check on your people.
Woman's video before her suicide attempt is a reminder to everyone.
Editor's Note: This story discusses suicide. If you are having thoughts about taking your own life or know of anyone who is in need of help, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a United States-based suicide prevention network of over 200+ crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 9-8-8. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.
Not all depression looks the same. Sometimes people don't even realize they're depressed for a long time while others go to great lengths to appear okay to the outside world. People who have functional depression—who still go to work, spend time with friends and look to be enjoying life—may not seem depressed to those closest to them.
This kind of masking can be done for many reasons, but a lot of times, it's because they don't want other people to worry about them. But this could mean suicidal thoughts go unnoticed by loved ones. When people appear happy or as if they're handling everything well, others are much less likely to check in on them.
When Brie Johnson uploaded a video with a quote that reads, "You can always tell when someone is going to attempt," the happy videos and pictures that followed contrasted the reality of her attempting suicide.
Johnson, who's a staff sergeant in the Air Force and mother of one, posted the short video in March with the caption, "Check up on your loved ones. It's not always obvious." This is a sentiment that has been expressed by people repeatedly with a widely shared graphic that reminds people to check on their strong friends—the sentiment being that when people appear to be handling things well, no one checks in to make sure they're actually doing okay.
Johnson's video is a harsh reminder that not every smiling face is conveying joy. Sometimes smiles and laughter are just a mask. So how are people supposed to know when someone is truly struggling when their outward behaviors seem to show everything is fine?
@itsbriej Check up on your loved ones. It’s not always obvious #fyp #SeeHerGreatness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #recovery #survivor #awareness #love #miltok #foryou
Knowing when to reach out can be tricky, but there can be subtle signs that may easily be missed. Social media posts may change subtly, like broadly asking for prayers frequently when they haven't been in the habit of doing that. Some people may post memes that are either sad or borderline dark humor when those may be out of the ordinary. There could be a lack of care around how much alcohol or drugs they're taking.
Someone who's normally outgoing canceling plans more frequently than usual. Making jokes about death or suicide when it's not a normal conversation for them. A friend who's struggling may ask you about your final plans so they can bring up theirs without raising alarms.
These are all things that can be easily overlooked if you don't know what to look for. But one of the best indicators that you need to reach out is any change, no matter how subtle, that makes you ask the question, "I wonder what's going on with them?" So many times we ignore the tiny alarm bells that go off in our bellies because we're on the lookout for the bigger, louder alarm bells. The tiny alarms are just as important. Now how do you reach out?
Several years ago, I noticed a subtle change in a friend's social media statuses that activated my tiny alarm bells. After waiting about a week or so to see if things went back to normal, I reached out. Never having spoken to this person outside of the comments section in our online running community, I wasn't sure how she would respond. But I sent a message that said something along the lines of, "I just wanted to do a check in with you. I noticed a change in your posts and I wanted you to know that I'm here if you need to talk."
They responded that there were struggling with something pretty big that no one knew about. We spoke on the phone for a couple of hours with me mostly listening. They thanked me about a year later for seeing them when they felt no one else did.
Reaching out doesn't have to be complicated, so try not to overthink it. A lot of times all it takes is genuinely asking how someone is doing and informing them that you want the real answer, not something surface. Then, just listen without judgment and without unsolicited advice or commentary. Ask them what they need and follow through. Human connection, along with the reminder that you matter, can go a long way.
This article was written by Jacalyn Wetzel, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and practicing therapist.
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- Gardener has saved 50 people from suicide attempts in river - Upworthy ›
"Now your fishes will be warmed."
"To have one’s eyes lined with ham."
"To lay your head in water."
"Repetition teaches the donkey."
"I only understand train station."
"To speak directly from the liver."
"Horse horse, tiger tiger."
Beaver in water. Photo by 
An actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price River
Medusa image of giant squid in Gulf of Mexico off of Mississippi Gulf CoastPhoto credit: 
Sign warning against feeding alligators next to alligator in Mississippi marshlandsCourtesy of Jacalyn Wetzel
Mississippi Gulf Coast beach in BiloxiCourtesy of Jacalyn Wetzel
2009 photo of giant squid caught in Gulf of Mexico near Mississippi GulfPhoto credit: 
Thank goodness this story has a happy ending.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."