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Democracy

It's easy to be duped by online hoaxes — so we spoke with an expert at spotting fake news.

Being able to tell truth from lies is more important than ever.

fake news, experts, social media, fact checking
Canva

It's getting harder and harder to tell.

True
Firefox

"Fake news" is more than just the phrase the president uses to brush aside stories he doesn't like. It's a real thing, and something we should all be on the lookout for.

Below is an image of Parkland student Emma González tearing up a copy of the U.S. Constitution that went viral in 2018, sending some corners of social media into a frenzy.



There was one problem, however: It was totally fake.

The actual photo came from a Teen Vogue video shoot featuring her and some of the other Parkland students. In the real clip, González is seen tearing up a paper shooting target.

fake news, Teen Vogue, gun rights, activism

Teen Vogue photo shoot goes viral.

linked image from snopes.com

The fact-check was swift, but a lot of damage was done, as the altered image continued making the rounds.

It's easy to be duped by online hoaxes — so we spoke with someone whose job it was to spot them every day.

At the time of this incident, managing editor Brooke Binkowski wrestled with the importance of truth and figuring out how to stop the spread of hoaxes every day for the highly trusted fact-checking website Snopes.

The site, launched in 1994, began as a collection of fact-checks on some of the internet's early urban legends. Wanted to find out whether or not that story about the killer with a hook for a hand was true? Snopes had you covered. Needed to know whether your favorite brand of bubble gum is filled with spider eggs? The answer was just one click away.

As the site evolved its taken on more serious topics, online hoaxes, and "fake news." Did Donald Trump wade into the waters of a flooded Texas city to save two cats from drowning after Hurricane Harvey? (No.) Did Barack Obama congratulate Vladimir Putin on his 2012 electoral victory? (Yes.)

Snopes is often cited alongside FactCheck.org and PolitiFact as some of the best, most accurate, and bias-free fact-checking websites in the world, even earning it a partnership with Facebook.

Binkowski spoke with Upworthy about how to deal with increasingly sophisticated hoaxes we all encounter online (and gave us a few behind-the-scenes secrets about how the people at Snopes do what they do best).

The following interview has been lightly edited and condensed for clarity.

Why does the truth matter, and what harm is there in sharing fake stories?

The truth matters because without being able to agree on the most basic facts, there is no democracy. Democracy depends on an informed, educated populace in order to survive. To actively suppress curiosity or obscure facts is to actively suppress democratic norms.

When you share fake or misleading stories, first of all, don't beat yourself up about it if you were trying not to! We all fall for it. Some of it is extremely convincing.

I strongly believe that the onus should not be on the individual to sift through all the garbage to find good, vetted news on top of every other thing they have going on in their life, as I hear many suggest — that's why journalism exists. I think people are overall extremely smart and crave information, but without vetted and transparent information, they fall for conspiracy theorizing.

That's what propaganda and disinformation seize on. If you repeat that pattern across a country, it dramatically erodes these democratic norms. Plus, have you ever tried to talk to a really entrenched conspiracy theorist?

So I would be as mindful as you can about the sources of stories and try your best not to share disinformation — and if you do, I would try to be upfront about it and delete it so that it does not spread.

Right now is a crucial time to be mindful, even though I just said the onus shouldn't be on the individual. It shouldn't, but we simply don't have enough working journalists to go around right now, because our industry has been allowed to collapse in the name of executive profit.

Can you walk us through how Snopes fact-checks a story?

We don't have any one specific way that we fact-check a story — there's no real formula for doing so. A lot of what we do is so disappointing when I describe it to people, because it's not magic. It's "just" journalism.

I try to give my writers time and space to do the research that they need to do, although sometimes it's a little difficult when we have "conspiracizing" from all sides. So sometimes, one of us will have to head to the library to pull books or go over to the local university to look through papers on campus.

A lot of the time we do old-fashioned reporting. Our staff is all over the United States and they know their stuff, so I'll take advantage of that and send them out on the field sometimes. We also, of course, know the repeat fake-news and satire offenders, so that makes it easy, because we can save a lot of time just by noting that they have an all-purpose disclaimer buried somewhere on their site. Sometimes we do photo or video forensics and FOIA requests (not that we get a lot of those answered, hahaha).


We try to be as thorough and as transparent with our work as possible, which is why we have a source list at the bottom of each page and maybe describe our methodology in a bit more detail than we should — but that's how we all roll.

Which is also why, on a side note, I find the conspiracy theories about us a bit puzzling. We're really easy to track down online, we list all our sources, and we try to be as open as humanly possible without also being boring about our methodology.

And yet people still think we're part of a grand conspiracy. I'm still waiting for my check from George Soros/the Lizard People/the Clinton Foundation, though. It's been, like, 20 years!

...OK, if you're a conspiracy theorist reading that last sentence, that's a joke. I already got my checks.

No, no, I'm sorry. I just can't stop myself.

Photo via Teen Vogue, illustration by Tatiana Cardenas/Upworthy.

What can regular, everyday people do to avoid hoaxes and "fake news?"

My best tip that I can possible give readers is this: Disinformation and propaganda classically take hold by using emotional appeals. That is why what Cambridge Analytica did should be viewed through that lens.

One of the more sinister things that I have read that they did, in my opinion (among other things I'm sure that no one yet knows), was track people who were highly susceptible to authoritarianism, then flood them with violent imagery that was invisible to everyone else on social media, so that they were always in a state of fear and emotional arousal and highly susceptible to an authoritarian message.

That's the type of person propaganda historically targets anyway — those who feel out of step with society and have strong tendencies toward authoritarianism — but now, groups like Cambridge Analytica are doing it faster and more surgically.

If you're reading, viewing, or listening to a story that's flooding you with high emotion, negative or positive — whether it's fear, rage, schadenfreude, amusement at how gullible everyone else is — check your sources. You are being played. Do a quick search for the story, see if it has been debunked at minimum, and/or look for other sources and perspectives.

One of the most noxious things about disinformation and propaganda is that both weave some truth into their lies, which makes the lies much, much stronger.

Something I like to say about political leanings is that the right assumes it has the moral upper hand and the left assumes it has the intellectual upper hand — both are tremendous weaknesses that are easy to exploit.

Don't let yourself be exploited. Be on guard. Don't assume other people are sheep and don't assume other people are morally bankrupt. Propaganda wants you to assume the worst about your fellow denizens; the people who push it out want the basic fabric of society destroyed.

It wants you hating your lovers, your neighbors, your family members, the guy at the store, the lady at the coffee shop. Propagandists want you distrusting each other, bickering, and unable to agree on the most basic facts — because then they can exploit those cracks further and consolidate power in the process.

Don't let yourself be taken in.

The basic take-aways for the average person? Get your news from trusted sources, confirm it with a second source, check your own confirmation biases, and get familiar with reverse image search tools.

This story originally appeared on 03.30.18

Pop Culture

5 ways people are going "All In" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, here are five ways people across the internet are giving it their all.

True

When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture a color-coordinated, fairy-themed surprise proposal that took months to create, or maybe you think of a singer who went on stage and nailed the perfect high note in front of everyone (like this girl). Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Going “all in” means doing something with total commitment—literally giving it your “all” and going completely over the top. No second guessing, no holding back—just full-throttle enthusiasm with some creativity and flair thrown in. That’s how we get those viral internet moments we can’t stop watching.

This week, we've found a handful of hilarious and heart-warming videos that perfectly capture what it's like to go "all in"—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage and something truly special happens as a result. Here are five of our favorite examples.


1. This "Sports Car" singalong

@_julianabba Replying to @courtney_azbell I’m okay @tate mcrae @t8 hq #tate #tatemcrae #tatemcraetour #sportscar #soclosetowhat #misspossesive #misspossesivetour #tatemcrae1 ♬ original sound - jules

The viral song “Sports Car” by Tate McRae has become an absolute viral hit, and it’s not hard to see why. Not only is the song super catchy, but her performance is show-stopping (you might even say she and her backup dancers go all in). Everyone is singing and dancing along—although this content creator’s rendition of the song might be the most passionate one. He gets a little too caught up, as you’ll see at the end of this video—and, well, his reenactment becomes "show stopping" in a different way. (Don't worry, though, he's totally fine.)

2. A little bit of everything, according to Reddit (but especially personal growth) 

This week, the team at All In asked Reddit users what they go “all in” on in their own lives, and the responses were entertaining and inspiring (and sometimes both). One commenter shared that they go all in on blue cheese dressing when they’re eating buffalo wings (respect), while another shared that they go all in on saving up their retirement (we love to see people reaching for big goals). Turns out you can go “all in” on everything from maintaining a healthy marriage to putting salt on your cucumbers. Our favorite responses, though, were people who went in on personal growth and learning. Click here to see what they had to say (and click here to snag a box of All In bars—for free!).

3. Pursuing a life-long dream 

@kynder.jpg that's my mom! 💙⛸️ #iceskating #followyourdreams #figureskating #lifeover50 ♬ No One - Aly & AJ

If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking you’re “too old” to follow your dreams, watch this video, because this midlife mom will prove you wrong. This video shows a woman skating in her first figure skating competition—and she’s about to turn 50. The daughter, who filmed and posted the video to TikTok, says that ice skating has always been her mother’s lifelong dream, and recently she just decided to go for it. The costume, the composition, and the passion are all first-rate, but the best part is that the commenters are going crazy for her, too. One of them wrote, “As a former competitive figure skater, nothing makes me tear up like videos of people getting into skating later in life. The ice was my first love, it was home. Welcome home.”

4. These infectious dance moves

@itz_sokizzy

♬ Some Nights - Fun.

Okay, so unlike the figure skating mom, there’s nothing technically impressive about this woman dancing—as in, she’s not a professional dancer. She doesn’t use choreography or sparkly costumes—but what’s great about these videos is that her passion and enthusiasm just can’t be denied. It’s just her in her bonnet, dancing along to upbeat classics like “Some Nights,” by Fun, and somehow you can’t help but be completely mesmerized—and maybe start dancing along yourself. We watched a bunch of her videos—there are tons, and they’re all equally enthusiastic—and we couldn’t help but laugh and groove right along with her. That’s what’s great about going “all in”—it inspires other people, too.

Song re-enactments...with a surprising guest star 

@animallover.zx123 if you're done with your ex move on#just move on#ex #move on with your life #fyp #fyp #fyp #fyp ♬ Gladdest Done with your ex - GLAD FAMILY

People can sometimes be “extra” when it comes to their pets (like dressing up their dog as a cowboy or a mailman for Halloween). But there’s being “extra” with your pet, and then there’s going “all in,” which this TikTok creator undoubtedly does. King Guinea Adventures (@animallover.zx123) has built a platform on staging re-enactments of popular songs, but with a twist: the star of the show is a guinea pig. These hilarious videos show the guinea pig acting out the lyrics of popular songs such as “Video Games” by Lana Del Ray and “Whiskey Lullaby” by Braid Paisley and Alison Kraus. The literalism of these videos is what makes them actually hilarious, and it shows how much thought the creator put into making them (In “Video Games,” for example, when Lana sings “Swinging in the backyard / pull up in your fast car,” you see a literal toy car appear in the swing next to him. When she gets to the lyric “video games,” you see a Nintendo Switch pop up.) It’s creative, it’s funny, it’s fun—and best of all, this creator takes their love of pop culture (and the love of her pet guinea pig) and truly goes “all in.”

Snag a free (!!) box of All In snack bars here while this deal lasts. Just pick up a box at Sprouts and text a pic of your receipt to get it for free. Enoy!

What's the difference between patriotism and nationalism?

Patriotism can feel like a loaded term sometimes, as the meaning can range in people's minds from a basic love of country to a fierce loyalty one is willing to die for. What constitutes "country" can also impact how we perceive of patriotism, as there's a difference between the land, the people, the ideals, and the current government.

And then there's nationalism, which may sound like the same thing but isn't. So what's the difference? Episcopal priest Joseph Yoo shared his thoughts on what separates patriotism from nationalism, and people are appreciating having the key differences laid out so clearly.


@joseph.yoo

Nationalism vs. Patriotism #yourEpiscoPal #YourKoreanFather #nationalism #patriotism #LanguageLearning

"Patriotism is love," Yoo begins. "It's gratitude. It's saying, 'I care about my country enough to tell the truth about it, to celebrate what's good and work to fix what's broken."

"Nationalism, that's idolatry," he continues. "It says my nation is the nation above critique, above others, God's favorite. And once you slap God's seal of approval on your own flag, congratulations, you've just made your country a 'golden calf.'"

He explained the patriotism results in activism like that of John Lewis crossing the Edmund Pettus Bridge to demand that the country live up to its professed ideals. Nationalism results in tragedies like the January 6th invasion of the Capitol, where Confederate flags and crosses were seen in the same mob.

"Patriotism says, 'I love my family enough to admit when we've messed up, and I will help us grow," Yoo says." Nationalism says, 'My family is perfect, everyone else is trash, and if you disagree you are out."

"One is honest love. The other is toxic possession," he says. "One builds. One bullies."

Yoo concluded with a biblical point: "Jesus never called us to worship a flag, only to love our neighbor."

It's important to differentiate between patriotism and nationalism because the latter has become a bit of a lightning rod in the political discourse. Some use it as a pejorative term, while others have embraced it as something totally acceptable or even positive. When the definitions are muddied, it causes confusion.

American flags, united states, america, patriotism, nationalism Flags can be a symbol of both patriotism and nationalism.Photo credit: Canva

Of course, Yoo is not the sole authority on what these words mean, but his thoughts are aligned with what the neutral arbiters of definitions say they mean.

Dictionary.com has an entire page discussing the terms, defining patriotism as "devoted love, support, and defense of one’s country; national loyalty,” and nationalism as "the policy or doctrine of asserting the interests of one’s own nation viewed as separate from the interests of other nations or the common interests of all nations," ultimately leading to how the two words are used:

"Patriotism generally has a positive connotation. It’s used for various positive sentiments, attitudes, and actions involving loving one’s country and serving the great good of all its people.

Nationalism generally has a negative connotation. It’s used for political ideologies and movements that a more extreme and exclusionary love of one’s country—at the expense of foreigners, immigrants, and even people in a country who aren’t believed to belong in some way, often racial and religious grounds."

flags, countries, world, patriotism, nationalism Love of one's country is nice. But there's a difference between patriotism and nationalism. Photo credit: Canva

Britannica also has a whole page about the two words, with this basic synopsis of the differences:

"Patriotism is a feeling of attachment and commitment to a country, nation, or political community, and its conception has roots tracing back to Greek and Roman antiquity. It is associated with the love of law and common liberty, the search for the common good, and the duty to behave justly toward one’s country. Nationalism, on the other hand, is a more modern ideology that emerged in the 18th century, focusing on the individual’s loyalty and devotion to the nation-state, often surpassing other individual or group interests."

And then there are some famous takes on patriotism:

“I love America more than any other country in the world and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.”
― James Baldwin

“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.”
― Mark Twain

mark twain, author, patriotism, nationalism, democracy Mark Twain had quite a bit to say about patriotism. Giphy

“Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official, save exactly to the degree in which he himself stands by the country. It is patriotic to support him insofar as he efficiently serves the country. It is unpatriotic not to oppose him to the exact extent that by inefficiency or otherwise he fails in his duty to stand by the country. In either event, it is unpatriotic not to tell the truth, whether about the president or anyone else.”
― Theodore Roosevelt

“The difference between patriotism and nationalism is that the patriot is proud of his country for what it does, and the nationalist is proud of his country no matter what it does; the first attitude creates a feeling of responsibility, but the second a feeling of blind arrogance that leads to war.”

― Sydney J. Harris

There's nothing wrong with loving your country, but anything taken to excess and exclusion isn't healthy. Nationalism is excessive and exclusive in its very nature, and while patriotism can be weaponized, when kept in check it's what keeps people striving to make their homelands the best that they can be for everyone who lives there.

Kids

Woman with an unfortunate name has a hilarious warning for all parents-to-be

Her name is Samantha Hart. Her professional email address is the problem.

Canva

A woman is suprosed after reading something on her computer

The recent trend of parents going out of their way to give their children unique names has brought up a lot of discussion on social media. Some of these names sound cute when a child is 5 years old. But will Caeleigh, Zoomer or Rhyedyr look like a serious adult on a job application in a few years?

A recent viral video on TikTok is a unique twist on the current discussion surrounding names. Samantha Hart has a name that doesn’t seem like it would draw any negative attention in professional circles. However, her parents didn’t consider email conventions when they named her back in the late ‘90s when email was new.


“My name is Samantha Hart,” the 27-year-old said. “Most companies use the email designation of first initial, last name, meaning my email would be 'shart.'” For the uninitiated, a "shart" is an unintentional release when one thinks they only have gas. Yikes.

@thesam_show

sorry if i talk about this problem too much but it is HAPPENING AGAIN!!

The issue arose because Samantha has had two “professional” jobs in the past in which her name has been an issue. So, as she began a third job, she wondered how to approach the situation with a new employer.

“At every single workplace, I have received an email from HR the week before I start letting me know that my name does not exactly fit the company email structure as they would intend and [asked] would I mind if they gave me a different structure for my email,” Hart said.

baby names, unfortunate names, funny, TikTok, viral story, parenting, work email, professional life, Samantha Hart, shart Woman exasperated at workCanva

So she asked her 30,000 followers on TikTok if she should just "reach out, right off the bat" to her employer and ask for "something else" or wait for HR to react to her email situation. But most of the responses were from people who have been in the same embarrassing situation as Samantha and wished their parents had thought twice before naming them.

"Clittmann has entered the chat. Have been dealing with this since college," Chris.Littmann responded.

"As Swallo, I feel your pain," Samantha Wallo replied.

"My name is Sue Hartlove so my work emails are always shartlove," Sue added.

baby names, unfortunate names, funny, TikTok, viral story, parenting, work email, professional life, Samantha Hart, shartGif of Ryan Reynolds laughing

"I went to college w Tiffany Estes," Abby1233213 wrote.

"Rkelley has entered the chat," Rach commented.

"Worked with a guy named Sam Adcock," Lori added.

"My last name is Hartstein, and my mom’s personal email is ‘shartstein.’ People literally call her shart-stein," Lyss wrote.

"I used to work with a BAllsman," JenniferKerastas added.

"I worked with a Patrick Ecker at a previous job..." NoName wrote.

"Our high school used last name, first two letters of first name. My friend's email ended up being 'mountme,'" Averageldeal commented.

Andy Marks won the comment section with: "Always best to initiate the shart convo… wait too long and it tends to come out at the least opportune moment."

baby names, unfortunate names, funny, TikTok, viral story, parenting, work email, professional life, Samantha Hart, shart Woman types on her phoneCanva

While the comments were dominated by people sharing their unfortunate email addresses, a few people in the IT field shared their advice for how Samantha should approach her new employer with her email issue. Most agreed that she should address the issue before it becomes a larger problem.

"As someone in IT—please reach out. When we have to rename a bunch of logins after someone starts it can cause headaches for everyone (inc you!)," Kelsey Lane wrote.

baby names, unfortunate names, funny, TikTok, viral story, parenting, work email, professional life, Samantha Hart, shart IT employee coding on a laptopCanva

Expecting parents, please take notes.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

Mental Health

These simple techniques can stop you from being bothered by other people's actions

"Every difficult person in your life is showing you exactly where you need to grow."

These simple techniques stop you from ever getting angry again.

Other people behaving badly can easily disrupt someone's day. People can become angry, sad, or simply unsettled by something someone else says or does, even if they're a stranger. When something like this happens, it usually feels like you have no control over how upset you get from the actions of another person, but what if that wasn't the case?

What if an angry driver screaming at you didn't cause you to feel flustered and out of sorts? There just might be a way to control your negative reaction to others' poor behavior by using a simple technique. It doesn't involve buying a course or sitting through some long seminar, either. It's a trick that many therapists teach clients when learning to manage their emotions without making them someone else's problem.


anger management; angry; controlling anger; emotional control; emotional regulation Heated argument between friends in a bedroom.Photo credit: Canva

YouTube creator Jamie Social recently uploaded a video explaining that anger is a choice. While some may disagree with such a broad oversimplification of anger being an option we simply choose, there is some truth to it once it's broken down into smaller parts. Most people would probably say that they wouldn't choose to be angry if they were given the option between being content or being angry. So, how is anger a choice? And how can someone tap into feeling like they have the option to choose?

"Neurologically, the stress chemicals that create anger naturally flush from your system in exactly 90 seconds, but we keep the anger alive by replaying the story, rehearsing our comeback," Social explains. "It's like having a smoke alarm that goes off when you burn toast, but instead of opening a window, you keep making more toast."

anger management; angry; controlling anger; emotional control; emotional regulation Driver expressing frustration in traffic.Photo credit: Canva

Before explaining how to gain control over those spiraling thoughts that keep you angry long after the inciting incident, Social lists different myths about anger. The first myth is about people who like to push the buttons of other people. Since no one else is in control of your emotions, no one can push your buttons to make you angry, sad, or any other negative emotion, according to the video.

"Buttons only work when they're connected to something. Those buttons are actually unhealed wounds or value violations from your past. When someone pushes your buttons, they're showing you exactly where you still need healing," Social says before later adding that stopping to ask what the feeling is really about can give you time to slow down and think about other instances that made you feel that way. It's the revealing of why the button is there, so it can be disconnected from the source of pain.

Therapists will often say that anger is a secondary emotion. Social reiterates that point by sharing that anger often acts as a bodyguard for more vulnerable emotions. Hurt, fear, disappointment, and embarrassment are all more vulnerable emotions to express, so anger pops up instead to protect the person from feeling emotions they may not be ready to face yet. But learning to identify the underlying emotions can significantly reduce instances of anger, according to Social.

Discovering your own "choice point" is key to helping to eliminate being bothered by other people's behaviors and actions.

"In that space lies freedom," Social says. "Most people don't even know this space exists. Victor Frankle discovered this in a Nazi concentration camp. No matter what happens to you, you always have the freedom to choose your response. That trigger hits, your body floods with chemicals. But before you react, there's a microsecond of choice. When you learn to find that choice point, you become the author of your own experiences."

anger management; angry; controlling anger; emotional control; emotional regulation Offering comfort in times of need.Photo credit: Canva

Additional suggestions include becoming the observer of your emotions instead of becoming them. It's noticing what your body is feeling but not engaging with it in a way that would cause a reaction. Social also mentions reframing people you find difficult to interact with by viewing them as personal trainers for your emotions.

"Every difficult person in your life shows you exactly where you need to grow," Social explains. "That critical boss, they're training your resilience muscle. That passive aggressive neighbor, they're developing your boundary-setting skills. Just like a physical trainer puts you through uncomfortable exercises to make you stronger, emotional trainers build your emotional strength."

Utilizing breaks when you don't have the emotional capacity, creating a trigger journal to know what triggers you, creating healthy boundaries, and avoiding creating stories in your head are additional techniques to help with not reacting negatively.

Changing your response to other people's actions will take time and practice, but these simple strategies will put you on the path to having a calmer existence.

Via Pexels

Millennials are now old enough to seriously reflect on life.

It seems like only yesterday a millennial was a college kid that baby boomers chided for being entitled and Gen Xers thought were way too sincere and needed to learn how to take a joke. Today, the oldest millennials, those born around 1980, have hit their 40s and have lived long enough to have some serious regrets.

They also have enough experience to take some pride in decisions that, in hindsight, were the right moves. The good news is that at 40 there is still plenty of time to learn from our successes and failures to set ourselves up for a great second half of life. These lessons are also valuable to the Gen Zers coming up who can avoid the pitfalls of the older generation.


A Reddit user who has since deleted their profile asked millennials nearing 40 what their biggest mistakes were at this point in life and they received more than 2,200 responses. The biggest regrets these millennials have are being flippant about their health and not saving enough money when they were younger.

They also realized that the carefree days of youth are fleeting and impossible to get back. So they should have spent less time working and more time enjoying themselves. Many also lamented that they should have taken their education more seriously in their 20s so they have more opportunities now.

The responses to this thread are bittersweet. It's tough hearing people come to grips with their regrets but the realizations are also opportunities to grow. Hopefully, some younger people will read this thread and take the advice to heart.

Here are 21 of the most powerful responses to the question: “Millennials of Reddit now nearing your 40s, what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?”

1. "Not taking care of my hearing, not even 35 and going deaf." — Kusanagi8811

2. "Not getting healthy earlier." — zombiearchivist

3. "Staying too long at a job in my 20s, just because it was safe and easy. When I finally got the motivation to leave, ended up with an almost 50% pay boost." — Hrekires

4. "Thinking that I could and should put myself on the back burner for anything and anyone else." — lenalilly227

5. "Smoking and not dealing with my sh** the right way." — Allenrw3

6. "Pining after the wrong person." — runikepisteme

7. "I turned 40 this year and just started liking who I am. Why the fuck did it take 40 years for self acceptance?" — guscallee

8. "Take care of your f***ing back. Lift with your knees. Sure it's rad when you grab a fridge by yourself and lift it in the back of a moving truck unaided, but one day that shit is going to have consequences that won't just magically go away by resting and 'taking it easy' for a week." — GuyTallman

9. "I wish I spent more time with my dad while I had the chance." — CharlieChooper

10. "I'm 37. I absolutely could have taken better care of my body, but I'm in relatively good health. I'm starting to realize how important it is to maintain my health. I do also think I drank far too much in my 20 and early 30's. I'm trying to rectify that now, but it's hard. So that I guess." — dartastic

11. "I'm not sure if people have experienced the same but when I entered my 30s I became convinced I was rapidly running out of time. Rather than using that as motivation I let it paralyze me with indecision because I 'couldn't afford to make the wrong choice.' Consequently, I'm now 39 and, though I've had great things happen in my 30s, I regret spending so much time worrying and so little time committing to a course of action." — tomwaste

12. "Work to live, don’t live to work. You have half your working life after you turn 40 but only 20-25 years to really live it up before the responsibilities become heavy and your joints start to ache. Live life. Really LIVE it. Experience as much you can. Every sensation, sight, sound, touch. Be open. Be brave. Live your first few decades in the fast lane. You have the rest of your life to take it easy, when you have no choice." — MrDundee666

13. "I should have paid more attention to my parents telling me to save money and less attention when they were teaching me about purity culture." — Arkie_MTB

14. "If I could tell my 18 year old self one thing, it would be to save 10% of every paycheck I ever got." — PutAForkInHim

15. "Thinking that I have time to do everything I want only to find myself loosing time, and the endless energy I used to have in order to purse them." — ezZiioFTW

16. "Not wearing sunscreen." — blueboxreddress

17. "Not recognizing the importance of work/life balance earlier in life. My late teens, all 20's, and early 30's were spent pulling 60-100+hr weeks because I thought it was what was required to succeed. How wrong I was. Others stabbed me in the back and reaped the reward." — [Deleted]

18. "When you get out of college, keep your friends. No matter how hard it is. Hold on to them." — mpssss22

19. "Should have bought a home. We qualified 20 years ago for enough to buy a small 2 bedroom but I didn't think we could afford it. That 2 bedroom would be worth nearly 3Xs and paid off by now. We pay nearly double in rent what our mortgage would have been. Gotta love the SF bay area cost of living." —Thelazywitch

20. "Always ask for more pay. Starting, yearly, before leaving, whatever. Get that money." — SensibleReply

21. "Spending too much time in front of a screen and not enough enjoying life." — BellaPadella

This article originally appeared three years ago.

Every generation has it's own flavor of fun

The coming of age era known as your twenties are a time for experimentation, branching out, learning about different aspects of yourself, and of course, having stupid fun.

Of course, every generation's definition of fun varies. Just what might Gen Zers, those who navigated their teenhood through TikTok and basically came of drinking age during a global pandemic, do to elicit feelings of fun?


Thirty-two year old (read: millennial) Ashley Tea wondered this very thing. In a video that went viral on TikTok in late 2023, she shared "I genuinely think millennials got to have a way better time than Gen Z does."

Millennials are already nostalgic about how they used to have fun

Tea then reminisced about her own experience of being “an emo kid in 2005,” going out to clubs, bars, and restaurants with her friends having a “fun, great, trashy” time.

That simply wouldn’t be financially feasible in today’s economic landscape, Tea noted, leaving her “mystified” as to how today’s college-age adults might enjoy themselves.

So again, Tea posed the question: “it's a Friday night, a Saturday night…What do do? Where do you go?”

gen z, cheap things to do, fun, fun activities, millennials gen z, cheap things to do for fun, fun activities @ashleyteacozy/TikTok

Thousands of Gen Z people responded with how they have fun and their answers were unexpected

The responses to Tea’s question were illuminating, to say the least—and certainly different than how she spent her early 20s.

For starters, Tea’s joke about “Gen Zers not having any fun at all” rang true for many people of that age group.

“As a 23 year old: I don’t have any fun, hope that helps!” quipped one person.

Another joked, “sometimes I sit outside if I'm feeling extra.”

gen z, cheap things to do, fun, fun activities, millennials "Sometimes I sit outside if I'm feeling extra." @ashleyteacozy/TikTok

One obvious factor behind this is finances. With everything being far more expensive, many Gen Zer’s simply cannot afford to have a social life that resembles earlier generations.

“As a 21 year old, the economy makes it difficult to have fun that way, I work 40 hours weekly and I’m either too tired or can’t afford it,” one person wrote.

Another reason, which isn’t maybe as obvious, is surveillance. Tea noted that a lot of young people said that since either of their “parents can track their phones everywhere,” they are deterred from doing things that could get them into trouble. Perhaps that’s a win for safety, but there is something to be said about excessive levels of control.

Then of course there’s the pandemic, which sucked the fun out of everything big time

“I got ROBBED of my early 20s bs COVID started when I was 22 😭 Nwo things are normal but all the good bars and clubs in my area didn’t survive the lockdown,” one person wrote.

Plus, there's a lack of third places to gather, leaving very little options beside staying home and scrolling on TikTok.

However, it’s not all gloom and doom, Tea discovered.

@ashleyteacozy

im genuinely curious

For one thing, Gen Zer’s don’t “glorify binge drinking” nearly as much as Millennials and Gen Xers. According to a 2020 study held at the University of Michigan, many are forgoing booze entirely. Part of this comes down to Gen Z prioritizing health and wellness more than previous generations, and another part is the cost.

When Gen Zers do actually have fun, it tends to lean towards more wholesome activities, like house parties (sometimes even themed house parties) and crocheting. Lots and lots crocheting apparently.

gen z, cheap things to do, fun, fun activities, millennials Grocery stores are the new clubs. @ashleyteacozy/TikTok


Then there's self care, which genuinely is fun:

gen z, cheap things to do, fun, fun activities, millennials Love that self care is considered entertainment these days. @ashleyteacozy/TikTok


As promised, crocheting and taking care of one's body are really all the rage with Gen Z:

gen z, cheap things to do, fun, fun activities, millennials Fitness groups are a new way people are finding friends @ashleyteacozy/TikTok


And who doesn't love a good coffee shop?

gen z, cheap things to do, fun, fun activities, millennials Fitness groups are a new way people are finding friends @ashleyteacozy/TikTok

Though of course, hanging out in coffee shops isn't exactly anything new.

coffee shop, third space, friends, tv, young people, college age The F.R.I.E.N.D.S. get it. Giphy

So maybe things look quite a bit different for Gen Z than Millennials or other generations

That’s not entirely a good or bad thing, and it’s definitely to be expected in some ways. The struggle of rising costs and limited opportunities to form connections and have fun are undeniably issues that must be addressed. But the fact that Gen Zers are leaning into their creativity is worth noting too. If nothing else, it makes it clear that even though it might not look like it, there is still fun to be had.

Now, I wonder what Gen Alpha's young adult fun will look like in a few year's time? If their slang is any indicator, it's going to be weird. And, honestly, more power to them.

@damonsharpe

Gen Alpha Slang the complete guide 🤓 all our viral videos in one! The latest slang at the end! ##genalpha #genalphaslang @Charlie Belle

This article originally appeared on 1.12.24. It has been updated.