Upworthy's book GOOD PEOPLE, now available - take a look!

Shop
 Explore 

Researchers studied kindergarteners' behavior and followed up 19 years later. Here are the findings.

Every parent wants to see their kid get good grades in school. But now we know social success is just as important.

kindergarten, behavioral research, grades, testing

Image from Pixabay.

Big smiles in class at kindergarten.

Every parent wants to see their kid get good grades in school. But now we know social success is just as important. From an early age, we're led to believe our grades and test scores are the key to everything — namely, going to college, getting a job, and finding that glittery path to lifelong happiness and prosperity.

It can be a little stressful. But a study showed that when children learn to interact effectively with their peers and control their emotions, it can have an enormous impact on how their adult lives take shape. And according to the study, kids should be spending more time on these skills in school.

Nope, it's not hippie nonsense. It's science.

Kindergarten teachers evaluated the kids with a portion of something called the Social Competence Scale by rating statements like "The child is good at understanding other's feelings" on a handy "Not at all/A little/Moderately well/Well/Very well" scale.

The research team used these responses to give each kid a "social competency score," which they then stored in what I assume was a manila folder somewhere for 19 years, or until each kid was 25. At that point, they gathered some basic information about the now-grown-ups and did some fancy statistical stuff to see whether their early social skills held any predictive value.

Here's what they found.

1. Those good test scores we covet? They still matter, but maybe not for the reasons we thought.

Back To School GIF by IFC - Find & Share on GIPHY

Meeting high expectations...

Billy Madison GIF from Giphy

Traditional thinking says that if a kid gets good grades and test scores, he or she must be really smart, right? After all, there is a proven correlation between having a better GPA in high school and making more money later in life.

But what that test score doesn't tell you is how many times a kid worked with a study partner to crack a tough problem, or went to the teacher for extra help, or resisted the urge to watch TV instead of preparing for a test.

The researchers behind this project wrote, "Success in school involves both social-emotional and cognitive skills, because social interactions, attention, and self-control affect readiness for learning."

That's a fancy way of saying that while some kids may just be flat-out brilliant, most of them need more than just smarts to succeed. Maybe it wouldn't hurt spending a little more time in school teaching kids about the social half of the equation.

2. Skills like sharing and cooperating pay off later in life.

Adam Sandler Pee GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

friendship, movies, GPA, emotional maturity

Adam Sandler helps out a friend dealing with a stressful situations.

Billy Madison GIF from Giphy

We know we need to look beyond GPA and state-mandated testing to figure out which kids are on the right path. That's why the researchers zeroed in so heavily on that social competency score.

What they found probably isn't too surprising: Kids who related well to their peers, handled their emotions better, and were good at resolving problems went on to have more successful lives.

What's surprising is just how strong the correlation was.

An increase of a single point in social competency score showed a child would be 54% more likely to earn a high school diploma, twice as likely to graduate with a college degree, and 46% more likely to have a stable, full-time job at age 25.

The kids who were always stealing toys, breaking things, and having meltdowns? More likely to have run-ins with the law and substance abuse problems.

The study couldn't say for sure that strong or poor social skills directly cause any of these things. But we can say for sure that eating too much glue during arts and crafts definitely doesn't help.

3. Social behaviors can be learned and unlearned — meaning it's never too late to change.

social behavior, social skills, learning, positive social traits

Adam Sandler GIF of getting his groove on.

Billy Madison GIF from Giphy

The researchers called some of these pro-social behaviors like sharing and cooperating "malleable," or changeable.

Let's face it: Some kids are just never going to be rocket scientists. Turns out there are physical differences in our brains that make learning easier for some people than others. But settling disputes with peers? That's something kids (and adults) can always continue to improve on.

And guess what? For a lot of kids, these behaviors come from their parents. The more you're able to demonstrate positive social traits like warmth and empathy, the better off your kids will be.

So can we all agree to stop yelling at people when they take the parking spot we wanted?

But what does it all mean?

This study has definite limitations, which its researchers happily admit. While it did its best to control for as many environmental factors as possible, it ultimately leans pretty heavily on whether a teacher thought a kid was just "good" or "very good" at a given trait.

Still, the 19-year study paints a pretty clear picture: Pro-social behavior matters, even at a young age. And because it can be learned, it's a great "target for prevention or intervention efforts."

The bottom line? We need to do more than just teach kids information. We need to invest in teaching them how to relate to others and how to handle the things they're feeling inside.

Ignoring social skills in our curricula could have huge ramifications for our kids down the road.

This article originally appeared nine years ago.

From Your Site Articles

Subaru

Joy

5 things that made us smile this week

People supporting thousands of local charities? Yes, please.

True

Good news—you know we love it. And we know you love it, too. Which is why we’ve searched the internet high and low for things guaranteed to brighten up your work week, such as:

This former cheerleader busting a movie

You're only as old as you feel—at least, that’s what Michigan woman Ilagene Doehring seems to think. Now 97, Doerhing was reminiscing about her time as a high school cheerleader 80 years ago at Merrill High School—a squad she helped create after noticing her school didn’t have one of their own. Caretakers at her nursing home reached out on social media to see if someone had an old uniform Doehring could wear one last time—and the current cheer coach at Merrill High School, Jena Glazer, went above and beyond. Glazier and the entire cheer team showed up to her assisted living facility to deliver the uniform and perform a cheer with the current team.

This company's way to support hometown charities

The annual Subaru Share the Love® Event is a chance to help local communities in a big way. Subaru and its retailers will donate at least $300 to local charities for every new Subaru purchased or leased through January 2nd, 2025—and by the end of 2024 (their 17th year of hosting this event), they’ll have donated nearly $320 million to charities across the nation. We love seeing local communities getting the support they deserve!

This mom’s “magic answer” to her kid’s Tooth Fairy and Santa questions

Most parents dread the moment when their kids start asking about mythical creatures like the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus—but it turns out you can preserve the magic of childhood while also being honest with your kids. TikTok creator KC Davis, who is also a licensed therapist, showed this perfectly when she shared about the time her 4-year-old asked if the tooth fairy was real. She asked them “Do you want the magic answer, or the grownup answer?” Utter perfection. (Her daughter chose the magic answer, by the way.)

This guy who drove 11 hours to be with his grandma

@jodiegarner12 @TheModernGolfer drove 11.5 hours to surprise his queen as it was her late husband’s birthday today. Never forgotten and will always look after his grandmother ❤️🌹#loyalty #family @Rosalie Gessey ♬ These Memories - Hollow Coves

Holidays can be painful when you’re dealing with the loss of a loved one. Which is why on the anniversary of his late grandfather’s birthday, professional golfer Jordie Garner drove eleven hours to spend time with his grandmother so she wouldn’t have to be alone. This adorable video shows Jordie showing up to surprise his grandmother, with flowers and a present in hand. Now that’s true love.

This mom's sweet "I love you" surprise

@goodnewscorrespondent
Daughter is surprised when her mom, who is non-verbal with Alzheimers, replies I LOVE YOU! ❤️ As a daughter of a mom with ALZ, this had me in tears. 😭💞 Cherish these moments. @momolarks800
♬ original sound - Good News Correspondent

Tiktok user @momolarks80 caught an unexpected (and heartwarming) message when she filmed herself and her mother saying hello. Living with Alzheimer’s and mostly nonverbal, her mother surprised her with a rare “I love you”—to which the daughter responds by planting a kiss on her cheek. Talk about wholesome.

For more reasons to smile, check out all the ways Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season, here.

From Your Site Articles

uplifting

Science

'Forgotten' water harvesting system transforms 'barren wasteland' into thriving farmland

The half moons even help replenish the water table.

Credit: Andrew Millison/YouTube

Half moons allow water to be retained for agriculture and even replenish the groundwater table.

When the Great Green Wall initiative began in 2007, it was just a vision of a big, beautiful wall of greenery spanning the width of Africa to keep the Sahara Desert from encroaching on the rest of the continent. Despite years of successes and failures, celebration and criticism, we can see the progress being made as an inspiring example of how local and global collaboration can help counter the effects of climate change.

Just a few years ago, the Sahel region at the northern edge of Senegal was a "barren wasteland" where nothing had grown for 40 years. But the United Nations World Food Programme (WFP) and local villagers teamed up to regreen the area, bringing back agriculture, improving the economy of the people who live there, and preventing the climate migration that desertification ultimately leads to.

How do you hold back the world's largest hot desert?

According to Andrew Millison, a permaculture designer and instructor at Oregon State University, the Sahara desert has expanded by about 10% in the past 100 years. The idea behind the Great Green Wall is to build a barrier of vegetation to stop that expansion, which threatens the ecosystems and economies of the Sahel—the region south of the Sahara that separates the desert from the savanna.

In a video from February of 2024, Millison shared the collaborative nature and progress of one Great Green Wall project in Senegal, including the rejuvenation of 300,000 hectares (about the equivalent of 600,000 football fields) of seemingly unusable land.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"The process started with the community-based participatory planning," WFP program policy officer Bakalilou Diaby shares in the video. "By the end of this process, it was agreed that one of the major action is the land reclamation or land recovery project."

At first, it took some time to convince the community that the regreening of the degraded landscape was even possible, but after learning about how to improve the land, "the people believe and they are convinced, and they are also committed," says Diaby.

The 'forgotten' half-moon method of harvesting water

One of the keys to this particular regreening project is using long-forgotten techniques for harvesting water. When soil is crusted and sunbaked and hard as cement, rainwater doesn't penetrate and it's impossible for plants to take root. The solution? Half-moon shaped ditches dug in such a way that water flows into them on the straight side with an embankment built on the rounded side to hold the water in. Each half moon is 4 meters in diameter and takes about a day for one person to dig.

Local vegetation domesticated on the Sahel thousands of years ago, such as sorghum and millet, are planted in these half moons, rehabilitating the land and feeding the local community at the same time.

"This is nothing new—we have not invented a technology here," explains Sebastian Muller from the WFP resilience team. "The half moon technology is actually an endogenous technology to the Sahel and has been forgotten over time. We have rescued it from the past."

Not only does capturing water in the half moons help with the immediate need to grow food and contribute to the Great Green Wall, but 10% to 15% of the water will actually soak into the ground to replenish the water table, creating a more sustainable agricultural process.

"That way we actually achieve a balance of water. So we are not depleting the water resources, but we're making sure that we keep enough water in the ground for future generations," says Muller.

Other crops such as okra and tomatoes are grown in horizontal horticulture beds, and between those ditches grow trenches with fruit trees in them.

Engaging indigenous wisdom for sustainable farming

"This is just a very first step in this pilot," adds Muller. "We'll also be using other native species that will be planting in the pits that will drive the rejuvenation of the soil and the protection of the soil as the system starts growing into abundance and producing food and life for the people here."

According to Muller, the "syntopic farming" methods being employed were developed in Brazil and are based on global indigenous practices that mimic the way natural forests grow and thrive. These natural growing dynamics make agriculture more sustainable, continually replenishing the land rather than continually depleting it—truly a testament to global collaboration carried out at the local level with local community support.

"This project was really, really interesting because the World Food Programme wanted to demonstrate how you could take the most devastated areas and turn them back into resilient, food-producing locations," says Millison. "And they specifically placed their project on a very degraded landscape that had been taken down to bare, compacted earth."

If this desertified "wasteland" can be rejuvenated so successfully, it provides hope for recovering other land that many people might write off as useless or barren. As climate change continues to alter the Earth's landscape—literally—we'll need to keep working together both locally and globally to find solutions like the Great Green Wall and support their implementation.

You can learn more about successful permaculture practices on Andrew Millison's YouTube channel.

From Your Site Articles

sustainability

Family

A study has been following 'gifted' kids for 45 years. Here's what we've learned.

Some of what we used to think about gifted kids turned out to be wrong.

What can we learn from letting seventh graders take the SAT?

In the 1960s, psychologist Julian Stanley realized that if you took the best-testing seventh graders from around the country and gave them standard college entry exams, those kids would score, on average, about as well as the typical college-bound high school senior.

However, the seventh graders who scored as well or better than high schoolers, Stanley found, had off-the-charts aptitude in quantitative, logical, and spatial reasoning.

In other words, they were gifted.

In the 1970s, Stanley and his team launched a full-scale study, identifying many of America's gifted kids and tracking them throughout their lives.

The study, called the Study of Mathematically Precocious Youth never ended and is now nearly 45 years in the making. It has followed countless kids from middle school into their careers as some of America's top politicians, scientists, CEOs, engineers, and military leaders.

Stanley passed away in the mid-2000s, but psychologist David Lubinski helped bring the study to Vanderbilt University in the 1990s, where he now co-directs it with Camilla P. Benhow.

It's not a stretch to call this the biggest and most in-depth study on intellectual "precociousness." The results of the study thus far are equal parts fascinating and genuinely surprising — a deeply insightful look into the minds and lives of brilliant children.

1. Some of what we used to think about gifted kids turned out to be wrong.

Ever heard the saying "early to ripe, early to rot"? It basically means doing "too much" to foster a kid's special talents and abilities at too young an age could actually cause harm in the long term.

That's not even remotely true, at least not according to Lubinski.

That might be an outdated example. But Lubinksi says there are plenty of other misconceptions still alive today, like the idea that gifted kids are so smart that they'll "find a way" to excel even if those smarts aren't nurtured and developed.

Not so fast. "They're kids," he explains. "They need guidance. We all need guidance."

2. Intelligence is not the same as passion.

Quick, what's the "smartest" career you can think of. Doctor? Scientist?

While you do have to be pretty brilliant to work in medicine or science, those are far from the only career paths gifted kids choose later in life.

"Quantitatively, gifted people vary widely in their passions," Lubinski says. Many of the students in the study did end up pursuing medicine, but others went into fields like economics or engineering. Others still were more gifted in areas like logical or verbal reasoning, making them excellent lawyers and writers.

"There are all kinds of ways to express intellectual talent," Lubinski explains.

When it comes to doing what's best for a gifted student, it's just as important for parents and educators to know what the student is passionate about rather than pigeonholing them in traditionally "smart" fields and registering them in a bunch of STEM courses.

3. Hard work definitely still matters.

Measuring a student's aptitude, their natural abilities, is only one part of the equation when it comes to determining how successful they'll be in life. Aptitude scores can identify a particularly strong natural skill set but tell us very little about how hard that person might work to excel in that field.

Effort, Lubinski says, is a critical factor in determining how far someone's going to go in life. "If you look at exceptional performers in politics, science, music, and literature, they're working many, many hours," he says.

(And for the record, there are a lot more important things in life than just career achievement, like family, friends, and overall happiness.)

4. Regardless of aptitude, every kid deserves to be treated as though they were gifted.

The study's focus is specifically on kids within a certain range of intellectual ability, but Lubinski is careful to note that many of its findings can and should be applied to all students.

For example, the kids in the study who were given an opportunity to take more challenging courses that aligned with their skills and interests ultimately went on to accomplish more than the students who were not afforded the same opportunity.

"You have to find out where your child's development is, how fast they learn, what are their strengths and relative weaknesses and tailor the curriculum accordingly," Lubinski says. "It's what you would want for all kids."

It may sound a bit like a pipe dream, but it's a great starting point for how we should be thinking about the future of education in America.

If you'd like to learn more about the Study of Mathematically Precocious Youth, check out this short film on the project created by Vanderbilt University:

Quick Learners; High Achievers: Study of Mathematically Precocious Youth

This article originally appeared seven years ago.

From Your Site Articles

Health

Conflict experts share the 1 sentence that can stop an argument before things get heated

Here's how to shut it down before it starts.

via Canva/Photos

A woman skillfully stops an argument.

Has getting into a heated argument with your significant other, a coworker, or a child ever solved anything? Probably not. Heated arguments often lead people down the dark path of personal attacks, animosity, and getting so riled up that they stop making sense altogether. However, conflict is a natural and healthy part of our daily lives, so it can be very productive when we know how to have productive disagreements.

"If no one ever argues, you’re not likely to give up on old ways of doing things, let alone try new ones. Disagreement is the antidote to groupthink,” organizational psychologist Adam Grant said, according to Psychology Today. “We’re at our most imaginative when we’re out of sync." So the big question is, how do we prevent heated arguments from happening and steer them to more productive territory instead?

How to stop an argument from happening

A group of researchers at the University of Wisconsin found that it’s essential for people to create a safe environment to have a discussion, and the key to doing so is to ask open-ended questions that lead to points of agreement. Specifically, the researchers say to use “I” statements, such as “I feel frustrated” or “I feel concerned” when expressing yourself during the disagreement. But the best phrase is one that clearly directs the discussion toward agreement.

The best way to stop an argument is with the phrase: “I’d actually like to focus on all the things we agree on.”

conflict, arguments, disagreements Coworkers come to an agreement.via Canva/Photos

There are 3 big reasons why the phrase is so effective at stopping arguments from happening. First, the phrase immediately changes the mindset of both people from the areas where they disagree to one of agreement. We are no longer arguing about why we like or don’t like pineapple on pizza. Instead, we’re not focusing on the toppings we enjoy, such as pepperoni or black olives. The person we disagree with is no longer an enemy but a collaborator.

Another big reason “I’d actually like to focus on all the things we agree on” is such an effective phrase because it extinguishes the other person’s anger. When we search for a way to agree, we suddenly become an unappealing target for the other person’s rage.

Finally, this phase makes you the good guy in the disagreement because you are looking for a positive solution. You’ve just taken a right turn onto the high road and have become the rational party in the conversation. This tactic is especially effective when a third party, such as a boss or sibling, is involved in the disagreement and wants to see who is acting in good faith. This will encourage the person you’re having a dispute with to be more cooperative to save face.

conflict, arguments, disagreements Coworkers come to an agreement.via Canva/Photos

The key is to be genuine about looking for agreement and have a sincere tone when stating your approach. Once the potential fight has been quelled, you can work together to reach the best possible agreement.

Learning how to prevent heated arguments can strengthen the relationship with the person you disagree with. Resolving a conflict together makes their relationship stronger and more enduring. So, a conflict can be a gift that you can use to skillfully bring yourself closer to someone. The key is to focus on the areas of agreement and to be sincere so you can resolve the issue together without leaving any lingering resentment.

relationships

Heroes

A man called 911, then his 5-year-old picked up the phone. Life-saving adorableness ensued

"I don't know what I'm gonna wear, but... he really needs oxygen, real fast."

jeffsaks123/YouTube

Brace yourselves, folks, because this is almost too friggin' adorable to handle. A 911 call can be a scary thing, and an emergency call from a dad having chest pains and trouble breathing is no exception. But thankfully, an exchange between that dad's 5-year-old daughter and 911 dispatcher Jason Bonham turned out to be more humor than horror. If you missed hearing the recording that has repeatedly gone viral since 2010, you have to hear it now. It's perfectly timeless.

When an Indiana dad used his cell phone to called 911 and couldn't talk, his daughter Savannah picked up the phone. Remaining remarkably calm, cool, and collected, the articulate 5-year-old expertly answered Bonham's questions—and added her own hilarious commentary as well.

At Bonham's request, she made sure the front door was unlocked so the emergency crew could get in. She told him about their dog, Lou Lou, who was "small" and "barks a lot," but was "friendly." She consoled her dad—who may have been in the middle of a heart attack—with "Don't worry, Dad," and "Stay calm, Dad." She also kept the dispatcher up to speed on what was happening, repeatedly saying, "So far, so good."

But the pièce de résistance was when Savannah told Bonham that she and her dad were in their "jammies" so she'd have to change. "I don't know what I'm gonna wear, but...he really needs oxygen, real fast."

Five. Years. Old. This kid is seriously something else. Watch:

Little girl calls 911 - Adorable - "He can't hardly breathe"youtu.be

Bonham said he was surprised by how Savannah handled the call. "Most people when you talk to them, they're hysterical," he told Eyewitness News. "Every time I've listened to it it's amazing. She's just a little person."

Thankfully, despite the scare, everything turned out fine for Savannah's dad. When the story went viral, her mom posted on Facebook, "We are so grateful & blessed that Savannah's 911 call is still being circulated. It makes the whole entire night worth while. The more awareness it brings & the more adults that teach children what to do the better!"

Well done teaching that kiddo, mom and dad. She was truly amazing.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

From Your Site Articles

kids

Culture

Opera star delighted by stranger who stood up in the audience and started singing with her

Surprising, impressive and altogether wholesome.

Photo by Courtney Kammers on Unsplash

woman standing front of microphone

There's a certain etiquette that audience members generally adhere to while watching a live performance, and that goes doubly for the opera world. But you don't have to be an opera-goer to know that it's generally frowned upon—to put it lightly—for a member of the audience to stand up and start singing right in the middle of an opera singer's performance.

It ain't Lollapalooza, for crying out loud. But an audience member adding his voice to an opera performance was exactly what happened at the Verdi Festival in Parma, Italy in 2022. According to Classic FM, renowned soprano Lisette Oropesa was performing an encore at the end of her recital, singing the female part from "Sempre Libera" (Always Free) from Verdi's "La traviata." Thesong is a duet, usually sung between a female soprano and a male tenor, but she was performing it solo. So when the tenor part arrived and no one sang opposite her, 24-year-old Liu Jianwei, a fan of Oropesa and a student of opera at the Conservatorio Giuseppe Nicolini di Piacenza, stood up and filled in the gap.

No one expected it. Not Oropesa. Not even Liu himself, apparently. But the pianist kept playing and Oropesa appeared to be delighted as the young man beautifully filled in the tenor part. Oropesa's initial "Oh," is written into the piece (though you can see her searching the audience for where the man's voice was coming from), but the "Oh, grazie," she added herself to say thank you.

It's a good thing he had a lovely voice. Watch:

@babatunde_hiphopera
Reply to @campmeldinal Reply to @campmeldinal This is the best one I could find #wholesome #opera

According to Classic FM, Liu took to the Chinese microblogging platform Weibo to explain himself—and to warn others not to do what he did.

“I stood up to sing because Lisette Oropesa is a musician I love very much and I happened to have learned this opera before,” he said. “It is definitely not something worthy of pride, nor something worthy of being advocated. Please don’t interrupt singers when they are singing on stage. It’s impolite behavior. Don’t imitate me and I will never do this again in the future.”

Many disagree with him on the "worthy of pride" part at least, and most people commenting on the video were thrilled with both the unexpected singing and the reaction from the opera star.

"She was so gracious and kind!! The shock and delight on her face was so wonderful!! This is beautiful," wrote one commenter.

"I love how her face just lights up, it's so sweet!!!" wrote another.

"That is the reaction of when a musician does it for the love of music," added another "They are both amazing!"

And regarding the "impolite" bit:

"Look I know it would technically be considered rude but he shot his shot and was successful 😂. Can’t blame him one bit.".

Liu approached Oropesa after the concert to apologize. She took photos with him and gave him her autograph.

Brava and bravo to them both.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

From Your Site Articles