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Next Time Someone Whines About Being 'Friend Zoned,' Tell Them These 2 Words

If I hear someone say they've been "friend zoned" one more time...

Next Time Someone Whines About Being 'Friend Zoned,' Tell Them These 2 Words

"For the so-called nice guys who complain about being placed in the friend zone: SHUT UP."

In case you're unfamiliar with the term "friend zone," let me explain. The "friend zone" is known as a horrible place where a person may end up if the object of their affection wishes to keep things platonic. Harmless enough, right? Well, not so much.


Turns out the "friend zone" is actually just a place for people who think they deserve to sleep with someone. Um, ew.

There are lots of things worth complaining about. Being "friend zoned"? Not one of them.

"Thinking you are owed something for not being an asshole makes you an asshole." YES. THIS.

This brings us to the second part of the performance ...

"Who the f*** complains about being placed in something called the 'friend zone'?"

"It sounds awesome. Like Auto Zone, but for friends." The two paint quite the beautiful picture of a lovely place called the "friend zone" — the kind without expectations of sex. It's magical! There are sunflowers and pizza and friendly pirates and only consensual hugs.

The best part? In the "friend zone," there's a giant boat filled with s'mores called ... wait for it ... The Friend Ship.

Boom. Well said.

So remember: If you're complaining about "just" being someone's friend, that probably means you're a pretty bad friend anyway.

Check out Desireé and Justin's whole performance in the video below.

Photo courtesy of Macy's
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Macy's and Girls Inc. believe that all girls deserve to be safe, supported, and valued. However, racial disparities continue to exist for young people when it comes to education levels, employment, and opportunities for growth. Add to that the gender divide, and it's clear to see why it's important for girls of color to have access to mentors who can equip them with the tools needed to navigate gender, economic, and social barriers.

Anissa Rivera is one of those mentors. Rivera is a recent Program Manager at the Long Island affiliate of Girls Inc., a nonprofit focusing on the holistic development of girls ages 5-18. The goal of the organization is to provide a safe space for girls to develop long-lasting mentoring relationships and build the skills, knowledge, and attitudes to thrive now and as adults.

Rivera spent years of her career working within the themes of self and community empowerment with young people — encouraging them to tap into their full potential. Her passion for youth development and female empowerment eventually led her to Girls Inc., where she served as an agent of positive change helping to inspire all girls to be strong, smart, and bold.

Photo courtesy of Macy's

Inspiring young women from all backgrounds is why Macy's has continued to partner with Girls Inc. for the second year in a row. The partnership will support mentoring programming that offers girls career readiness, college preparation, financial literacy, and more. Last year, Macy's raised over $1.3M for Girls Inc. in support of this program along with their Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math (STEM) programming for more than 26,000 girls. Studies show that girls who participated are more likely than their peers to enjoy math and science, score higher on standardized math tests, and be more equipped for college and campus life.

Thanks to mentors like Rivera, girls across the country have the tools they need to excel in school and the confidence to change the world. With your help, we can give even more girls the opportunity to rise up. Throughout September 2021, customers can round up their in-store purchases or donate online to support Girls Inc. at Macys.com/MacysGives.

Who runs the world? Girls!

Screenshots via @castrowas95/Twitter

In the Pacific Northwest, orca sightings are a fairly common occurrence. Still, tourists and locals alike marvel when a pod of "sea pandas" swim by, whipping out their phones to capture some of nature's most beautiful and intelligent creatures in their natural habitat.

While orcas aren't a threat to humans, there's a reason they're called "killer whales." To their prey, which includes just about everything that swims except humans, they are terrifying apex predators who hunt in packs and will even coordinate to attack whales several times their own size.

So if you're a human alone on a little platform boat, and a sea lion that a group of orcas was eyeing for lunch jumps onto your boat, you might feel a little wary. Especially when those orcas don't just swim on by, but surround you head-on.

Watch exactly that scenario play out (language warning, if you've got wee ones you don't want f-bombed):

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