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Entering your 30s? Fear not, here are 14 bits of wisdom that are actually useful.

Advice for when you're old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.

turning 30, advice for 30 year olds
Photo by Phinehas Adams on Unsplash

Welcome to the fourth decade.

Turning 30 marks the beginning of pure adulthood. Gone are the days making the same questionable choices from our 20s, and our stupid teenage years are even more a relic of the past. This is the time when Mother Nature says, “I’m not joking around, it’s time to take some things seriously. Like, for real.”

As friend groups shrink and waistlines expand, not to mention as careers or lifestyles go through major changes, the fourth decade can feel a bit overwhelming. Especially as there's still the misconception that somehow, as if by magic, you’ll have everything figured out by that 30th birthday. And if it hasn’t, then it’s too late. Talk about pressure.

In truth, we’re always just figuring things out and we move along. Thirties are no different. But it does help to traverse this new territory with knowledge. Luckily, the internet is a great place to crowdsource that sort of thing.

A Reddit user (perhaps a brave 29-year-old) recently asked the online forum, “What is your advice for somebody entering their 30s?”

People gave some amazing answers. Unsurprisingly, health (of all kinds) was a popular topic. But there were also a lot of unexpected gems, particularly when it comes to dealing with the “hard stuff.” Our 30s might be challenging, but with them come their own special rewards.

Check out these 14 bits of wisdom. Even if you’re well into your 30s—or beyond them—they offer some valuable reminders.

1.

“Life is not over. Not married yet & want to be??? Still time to find a decent partner, & your experience & maturity can help.” – @Bakanasharkyblahaj

2.

“Friends will make kids and settle down - make sure to visit them and don't shy away from playdates and birthday parties.” – @theteenyemperor

3.

“You should have started planning for your 50's about 5 years ago. Get to it. And by planning, I don't mean just retirement. Obviously retirement, but also getting to know yourself and what you want to do with your life. You have to be honest with yourself, find out what ACTUALLY matters for you, and start working towards that. Get rid of the dumb notions you had when you were a teenager. Find your balance between spiritual and material things. Not talking about religion, but social connections, feelings, experiences. Friends and family are important, as is material comfort.” – @robervalladraodeChoc

4.

“Don’t worry if you haven’t achieved your life goals or decided what career you want by now, it’ll come soon. I didn’t start Uni (nursing school) until my early 30’s. Spent a few years traveling the world first.” – @I-stop-pucks

5.

“Hate to be the one to bring this up, but start mentally preparing for the inevitable major loss events that will soon begin to accumulate in your life. If you don't have a healthy perspective regarding death, start working on that asap. See a therapist if necessary. Losing your parents is the first big one for most.” – @Captainmikkl

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

6.

“If your friend group hasn't already got smaller, be ready for it to. Don't take it personally. Some people just don't have the energy to hang out as much as they used to and others are entering different phases of their life like moving, different careers, or even procreating for some reason.” – @Drrodeze

7.

“If you keep it up in another ten years you can do the 40s.” – @Theymakemewearpants

8.

“Stretch. Moisturize. Start accumulating cash.” – @Sea-type694

Photo by No Revisions on Unsplash

9.


“If you have unresolved issues or find yourself ruminating over shit that happened years ago, go and see a therapist.” – @noodlefishmonkey

10.

“Enjoy. When I turned 30 I became confident enough to stop auditioning what I wanted to say in my head first in case it sounded stupid and just say it. Life became a lot more fun.” – @Markedmo

11.

“Take care of your teeth. By the time you're in your 30s tooth decay starts to be a problem. Brush and floss regularly. Go to a dentist twice a year. Keep on top of this. It’s easier to fix tooth decay problems early on, before they become a crisis.” – @Hyndis

12.

"Have fun! Too many people treat their 30s like their lives are over, but in reality, they can be a lot like your 20s - just with more money and experience, and ideally less worrying about what others think of you. Pandemic aside I've loved my 30s so far (38 now). Never had more fun." – @Zenstation83

13.

"Start taking care of yourself and make it a habit. Getting to your late 30s and realising you are putting on weight, have a sore back and can't run 100 feet without getting out of breath sucks. If you work an office job, just make the gym a regular routine and make sure you stretch." – @Devrij68

Photo by Anupam Mahapatra on Unsplash

14.

"Things get harder as they get easier. But you're in a position to handle it and you have the experience and knowledge to keep going where this happening to you in your twenties would have been catastrophic. You'll spend these years finding what makes you happy, realizing you've been chasing probably the wrong thing. Be ready to pivot, restart, readjust, and be open and communicating with those in your life as you go through your joys and challenges. This is a transformative decade." – @Orbax

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Health

Motivation expert explains how two simple words can free you from taking things personally

You don't need to take responsibility for everything and everyone.

via TEDx SF/Flickr and TEDx SF/Flickr

Mel Robinson making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control.

“It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

This idea of giving up control, or the illusion of it, when it does us no good, was perfectly distilled into 2 words that everyone can understand as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video.

“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you're really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”

“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.

The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose.

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 

@melrobbins

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode

How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.

It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” 60DaysToLive2012 wrote.

“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.

The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”


This article originally appeared on 3.4.24

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Joy

Remember the Olympian swimmer who could barely swim? How 'Eric the Eel's' story got even better.

Eric Moussambani had never even seen a 50-meter pool before competing at the 2000 Sydney Olympics.

Representative photo by cottonbro studio/Pexels

Imagine swimming in a 100m heat when you've never even seen a 50m pool before.

Everyone loves rooting for the underdog in sports, but for Olympic swimmer Eric Moussambani—also known as Eric the Eel—the word "underdog" was an understatement.

Moussambani followed an unusual path from his home in Equatorial Guinea to the 2000 Sydney Olympic Games. Nine months before the games, he heard about a wildcard program the International Olympic Committee had developed to encourage competitors from smaller nations to participate in the Olympics. Rules at the time allowed small nations that didn’t qualify any swimmers by time to still send an athlete to compete.

He responded to the call to be an Olympic swimmer for his country. The only problem? He barely knew how to swim.

The 22-year-old had started swimming shortly after high school but had little opportunity to actually develop any actual swimming skill. He'd learned to swim in rivers and the sea, with fishermen telling him how to use his legs in the water so he didn't sink.

"We didn’t have a swimming pool. We didn’t have anything, and I went to train at a private hotel pool that was about 13 metres long I think," Moussambani has explained. "I trained on my own and I had no swimming experience. The pool was only available from 5am to 6am and I was only able to train for three hours a week…There was nothing professional about it at all.”

With a few months of that level of training, Moussambani showed up in Sydney to compete in the 100m freestyle. He had never even seen a 50-meter pool before, much less swam in one. His Sydney pool preparation happened at the same time as the U.S. swim team, so he tried to watch and learn what he could from them.

"I didn't have any experience how to dive or how to start. I had to ask people how to do it," he said.

South Africa's swim coach helped as well, even giving him a pair of swim trunks and goggles when he noticed the swimmer only had shorts to wear.

When it came time for his heat, Moussambani was supposed to swim with two other swimmers, but both of them entered the water too early and were disqualified. So he was forced to swim his heat all alone. He was terrified that the crowd would laugh at him.

It was clear as soon as he dove into the water that he wasn't quite the Olympic calibre swimmer spectators are used to seeing, but he swam his heart out. By the time he had swum a full length of the pool, however, Moussambani was clearly fatigued. The second leg of his swim saw him floundering in the water as he slowly made his way through the second 50m of the race. He said he couldn't feel his legs and felt like he wasn't moving forward at all. But then he heard the crowd cheering for him and it gave him the strength and power to finish.

Watch:

The True Story of Eric "The Eel" Moussambani at Sydney 2000 | Olympic Rewindwww.youtube.com

Even though his finish time was more than double the average competitive swimmer, he was thrilled to be the first person from his country to ever complete a 100m swim in international competition. That was really the whole point of the wildcard program in the first place, so even though his time wasn't good, he had achieved something no one else from his central African nation had ever done.

But Moussambani didn't stop there. He kept swimming and improving his time in the 100m, cutting it by more than half a few years later. And he has since been a staunch advocate for developing swimmers in Equatorial Guinea. The country now has two 50m pools, and in 2012 Moussambani became the country's swim coach.

“I try to help young people who want to become good swimmers. I want to encourage them to swim and to take up sport," he said.

Sometimes the best Olympic stories aren't the winners but the unexpected heroes that come out of the games, showing us the strength and tenacity of the human spirit and inspiring us to not let anything keep us from moving toward our goals.

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Science

Astronaut shares the profound 'big lie' he realized after seeing the Earth from space

This change in perspective could change humanity.

via Rubén Moreno Montolíu/Flickr

Our home, from space.



Sixty-one years ago, Yuri Gagarin became the first human to make it into space and probably the first to experience what scientists now call the "overview effect." This change occurs when people see the world from far above and notice that it’s a place where “borders are invisible, where racial, religious and economic strife are nowhere to be seen.”

The overview effect makes man’s squabbles with one another seem incredibly petty and presents the planet as it truly is, one interconnected organism.

In a compelling interview with Big Think, astronaut, author and humanitarian Ron Garan explains how if more of us developed this planetary perspective we could fix much of what ails humanity and the planet.

Garan has spent 178 days in space and traveled more than 71 million miles in 2,842 orbits. From high above, he realized that the planet is a lot more fragile than he thought.

“When I looked out the window of the International Space Station, I saw the paparazzi-like flashes of lightning storms, I saw dancing curtains of auroras that seemed so close it was as if we could reach out and touch them. And I saw the unbelievable thinness of our planet's atmosphere. In that moment, I was hit with the sobering realization that that paper-thin layer keeps every living thing on our planet alive,” Garan said in the video.

“I saw an iridescent biosphere teeming with life,” he continues. “I didn't see the economy. But since our human-made systems treat everything, including the very life-support systems of our planet, as the wholly owned subsidiary of the global economy, it's obvious from the vantage point of space that we're living a lie.”

It was at that moment he realized that humanity needs to reevaluate its priorities.

“We need to move from thinking economy, society, planet to planet, society, economy. That's when we're going to continue our evolutionary process,” he added.

Garan says that we are paying a very “high price” as a civilization for our inability to develop a more planetary perspective and that it’s a big reason why we’re failing to solve many of our problems. Even though our economic activity may improve quality of life on one end, it’s also disasterous for the planet that sustains our lives.

It’s like cutting off our nose to spite our face.

Actor William Shatner had a similar experience to Garan's when he traveled into space.

"It was among the strongest feelings of grief I have ever encountered," Shatner wrote. "The contrast between the vicious coldness of space and the warm nurturing of Earth below filled me with overwhelming sadness. Every day, we are confronted with the knowledge of further destruction of Earth at our hands: the extinction of animal species, of flora and fauna … things that took five billion years to evolve, and suddenly we will never see them again because of the interference of mankind."

“We're not going to have peace on Earth until we recognize the basic fact of the interrelated structure of all reality,” Garan said.

However dire the situation looks from the surface of Earth, the astronaut has hope that we can collectively evolve in consciousness and wake up and embrace a larger reality. “And when we can evolve beyond a two-dimensional us versus them mindset, and embrace the true multi-dimensional reality of the universe that we live in, that's when we're going to no longer be floating in darkness … and it's a future that we would all want to be a part of. That's our true calling.”


This article originally appeared on 12.16.22

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Joy

Uber Eats driver saving for wedding leaves heartfelt note in a bag and it pays off big time

This is about as wholesome as it gets.

@erica_crystal/TikTok

The video has already racked but over 36 million views on TikTok.

With as much controversy as there is surrounding tip culture these days, this wholesome story reminds us that at the end of the day—many, if not most humans will gladly show generosity when it is genuinely asked of them.

Paul Slobodzian and his fiancé Aly wanted to create an unforgettable wedding to celebrate their love in the most special way possible. To make it happen, both took on a side hustle driving for Uber Eats every day for over a year.

During one delivery, Slobodzian thought he’d try slipping a heartfelt, handwritten note sharing his wish into the bag of the order.

That note, which went into Erica Hernandez’s Chipotle order, read:

“Thank you for your order! I’m delivering for <3 on the side to give my fiancée the wedding she deserves. Any additional tip through the app or Venmo is greatly appreciated.”

Touched by Slobodzian’s honest plea, Hernandez shared the video onto TikTok, saying “I don’t have a lot of followers, but hopefully this reaches the right people.”

uber eats, uber eat driver note, wedding, wedding savings planTikTok · erica_cristalwww.tiktok.com

The video not only reached the right people, but loads of them. The clip went mega viral, racking up nearly 37 million views. Pretty soon the donations began pouring in, including $500 from Chipotle itself.

Slobodzian later posted an emotional follow-up video saying that, because of the donations, he and Aly reached their wedding saving’s goal, and now would be able to reclaim some quality time today before the big day on September 21st.

“I don’t even know how to express my gratitude for this to anybody who has reached out and sent well wishes or money or anything our way that is positive. It has truly changed our lives.”


@paulslobo711 CHIPOTLE DELIVERY DRIVER FIANCÉ UPDATE: A huge thank you to everyone who has reached out regarding my note on @erica_cristal’s video. The support for me and my fiancée, @Aly, means more than I can express. Thank you all for changing our lives. #update #chipotle #wedding #deliverydriver ♬ original sound - Paul


What’s more—Erica will be a special guest. Plus, she got an extra $1000 from the happy couple as a thank-you. And she got a $250 Chipotle gift card! Talk about the gift that keeps on giving.

Slobodzian would end up recounting this entire tale to Fox News, reaching and inspiring millions more viewers worldwide, many of whom were compelled to send some love in the comments.

“Hi from New Zealand!”

“You’ve reached Australia! Your story is amazing. Congratulations.”

“You’ve reached South Africa and this is truly a wholesome story.”

“Love from Nigeria.”

“Seeing from BC, Canada.”

“Congratulations from Ghana. You are going to make a nice couple.”

“Congratulations from Germany.”

“I’m in Scotland and read about this in an article. Congratulations to you both. I hope you have the wedding of your dreams and some left over for the honeymoon.”

“You’ve reached Toronto. The power of social media is so beautiful.”

Many couldn’t help but note this was social media at its very best. As one person put it, “sometimes the internet is awesome.” Indeed, it is.

This is the ultimate example that the kindness of strangers can really do some powerful things. And what a profound reminder that by just trying to help one person, it can have an exponential impact.

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Health

What’s the difference between depression and just being sad?

There's a very important distinction.

via Ted-Ed/YouTube

What is Depression?

In the United States, close to 10% of the population has depression, but sometimes it can take a long time for someone to even understand that they have it.

One difficulty in diagnosis is trying to distinguish between feeling down and experiencing clinical depression. This TED-Ed video from December 2015 can help make the distinction. With simple animation, the video explains how clinical depression lasts longer than two weeks with a range of symptoms that can include changes in appetite, poor concentration, restlessness, sleep disorders (either too much or too little), and suicidal ideation. The video briefly discusses the neuroscience behind the illness, outlines treatments, and offers advice on how you can help a friend or loved one who may have depression.

Unlike the many pharmaceutical ads out there with their cute mascots and vague symptoms, the video uses animation to provide clarity about the mental disorder. It's similar in its poignant simplicity to the HBO short documentary "My Depression," based on Liz Swados' book of the same name.


This article originally appeared on 08.17.19

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