Kid drops 100% wholesome f-bombs in gift for his brother, and parents can't stop giggling
Ah, the innocent hilarity of phonics.
Sweet kiddo made an unintentionally hilarious "pool certificate" for his brother who had completed swim lessons.
Kids say the darndest things, it's true. But sometimes they write the darndest things, too.
Exhibit No. 1: This kid's homemade swim lesson completion certificate for his brother.
In a video shared by faith-based influencer Barrett Bogan on Instagram, with a caption that reads, "Homemade certificates be like… 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I have NO words BAHAHAHA🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 To the PURE all things are pure yo! 🤣🤣🤣🤣," we see a young child sharing a "pool certificate" he made for his brother Brighton in honor of his completing his swimming lessons.
So sweet, right? Only one problem—it doesn't really say, "certificate."
In a wholesomely hilarious mixup of phonics, the darling kiddo not only spelled out two very clear f-bombs in all caps, but he dropped them both in the form of a common f-bomb phrase.
And to add even more adorableness to the mix, he calmly describes his creation to his parents in the video, innocently oblivious to the riotous laughter happening inside their heads.
To their credit, his folks keep it together on the outside—for the most part. We can see Mom having to turn away to stifle a giggle at the beginning, and Dad only laughs when he turns the camera on himself before uttering, "Thank you, Jesus."
Watch:
Could they have explained to their son what was so funny about this? Sure. But as a parent, it's hard when you're caught off guard, especially when a child's innocence is involved. They may not have wanted to or been prepared to explain the ins and outs of the f-word to their young son at that moment, and doing so would surely have detracted from the absolute sweetness of his gesture for his brother.
But the people of the internet, especially teachers, loved the unintentional bomb drop:
"As a teacher, he did well writing using known words and sounds. Good job buddy!" wrote @seagoddess76.
As a teacher he gets an A+ for sounding out ALL those words😂😂😂," shared @queenbee_111.
"As a teacher, this is something we see all the time," added @gracedbygrit. "As students learn phonetic sounds and apply those sounds in writing (encoding) they will often make other words, most often ones that are profane, without realizing it. When they read it they are only focusing on the sounds the letters make not the resulting incidental order of them that may form other words. Purely innocent. 🤷🏽♀️"
Many commenters encouraged the parents to keep the "certificate" to show him when he's older so he can have a laugh of his own.
"When he graduates with his masters from MIT, show this to him," wrote @sarahdoeslife. "Please tell him that we, his internet aunts and uncles, loved his phonetic spelling then and how we all took a moment to enjoy his genius then. He made us smile."
"One day when he’s older, he will laugh his head off! Bless his heart!" wrote @dianalynndesoto. "He was so proud of what he had made his brother. ❤️"
"That needs to be framed and gifted to him when he graduates with his PhD," added @billzankich.
Gotta appreciate the innocence of children and the unintentional humor that sometimes results from it. Awesome job, kiddo.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.