upworthy
Identity

Here's how 18 people got over being homophobic, proving there's hope for everyone

"I looked for logical reasons to be and couldn't find any."

lgbtq, homopbobia, overcoming homophobia
via Unsplash

Homophobia? Get over it.

There are many different reasons why some people are homophobic. A lot of them are raised in religious households where homosexuality is seen as sinful and they never get over their indoctrination.

A study from 2018 found that people who foster homophobic attitudes are less intelligent than those who accept people regardless of their sexuality. For the study, researchers asked subjects if they agree or disagree with the following statement: “Homosexual couples should have the same rights as heterosexual couples do.”

After comparing data sets, researchers found that the lower a person's cognitive intelligence, the more likely they are to be homophobic.

An older study from 2016 using an eye-tracking device found that some homophobic men seem to have an impulsive, automatic attraction to other men.

Homophobic attitudes are more prevalent in people with authoritarian personality types. Authoritarians have “submissive attitudes toward strong leaders, a desire to punish all who violate conventional moral codes, and strong fear that conventional morality is breaking down.”

There are also some who believe that humans evolved to be homophobic because it favors the propagation of the species. "In its simplest form, parents who showed a concern for their child’s sexual orientation may have left more descendants than those who were indifferent,” Gordon Gallup, a human sexuality researcher, wrote.

(It should be noted that Gallup formulated his theory in the ‘80s.)

Regardless of how people become homophobic, the good news is that Americans are slowly becoming more accepting of LGBTQ people. A Reddit user by the name of aestheticbear wanted to prove that everyone is capable of losing their homophobic views by asking the subforum, “What happened that made you stop being homophobic?”

According to the posts, growing up and meeting people who are LGBTQ was one of the most effective ways for people to get over their homophobia. It also helped when they got away from religious parents and began to see the world with their own eyes.

Here are 18 of the best ways that people got over being homophobic.

1. 

"I met some gay people. As it turns out they were just people." — moolord

2. 

"Not homophobic, but I woke up at about 10 when my mom said my uncle was banned from coming to our vacation condo by my father because he was gay. Before then I kind of let the arguments and both sides bit wash over me, but that was a crystalization point where I started noticing it as pure bigotry. I'm sorry the nicest dude in the family full of domestic violence and white-collar drug abusers cant come to Christmas because he's gay? You're both cheating on each other, sanctity of what marriage now?" — Robin_Games

3. 

"My mom slapped me and told me everyone has a right to be happy. That was in 9th grade 13 years ago." — Bloodllust

4. 

"Homophobia was the norm when I was growing up, then I got older and the political landscape changed which made me question my belief and I came to the conclusion it just didn't make any sense to be homophobic." — LuciferIsFallen

5. 

"I came out as gay." — pethal

6

"Realised that, fundamentally, being gay is just 'what' you are. It’s not 'who' you are." — Alternative-Rain-718

7. 

"I wasn't super homophobic, just a 'love the sinner, hate the sin' kind of guy. On my last day in high school, someone said 'Why do I care? They're not hurting me.' Cured me in three seconds. I still remember how magical that moment was for me." — Dirgonite

8. 

"Stopped listening to my homophobic family and left their religion. Oh and also realized I myself was pretty gay." — Raidden

9. 

"There are 20 years between myself and my youngest brother. I (and my SO) was raised in an explicitly homophobic/biphobic/transphobic fundamentalist religion (that I left with my SO in my early 20s) so I had a lot of internalized, conditioned, toxic beliefs about the LGBTQ that needed to be deconstructed. My little brother was obviously either gay or bi and it was obvious from the time he was six imho. He came out to my sisters, SO, and I as bi when he was 11 and we were like "tell us something we don't know lol." I think watching him just grow up, it was obvious that he hadn't chosen to be that way, it was just how he was. This false narrative that LGBTQ are somehow defective or sinners became more disgusting to me over time.

I can't remember exactly when it happened but my SO and I were like 'if our future child happened to be LGBTQ, could we teach that child the things we were taught about the LGBTQ?" We were like "no, that would be evil.'

Now, we have an 18yo niece that recently came out as a lesbian and we feel honored to be the only family that she trusts enough to introduce to her first GF. Spending time with her just reaffirms the fact that there is nothing wrong with the LGBTQ, it was our upbringing that was defective." — Jormungandr91

10. 

"I was in the military during the repeal of don’t ask don’t tell. I wasn’t pro-gay whatever that might mean but sitting in those mandatory command meetings really opened my eyes. There were some legit homophobes trying every trick in the book to justify everything from moving sleeping arrangements to outright violence out in the open with gay people in the room.

I may not have been super sympathetic before that but after I realized just how difficult it was for a gay person just to go to work. Or how many precautions they were taking on a daily basis to keep in the closet. It pushed me from disinterested in the subject to siding with the obviously pragmatic stance of pro-gay marriage and gays in the military." — Pencilowner

11. 

"Went off to college, started meeting gay people, quickly realized that their awesomeness was no different than any straight person’s awesomeness, stopped bothering to “otherize” them as I had in high school." — hailnaux

12. 

"I became good friends with someone who came out to me a year or so after we got to know each other. Turns out he wasn't the abomination that my Christian parents/church had taught me all gays were. Indoctrination of children is a bitch." — Vefantur

13. 

"Honestly I think it was Lady Gaga. I was young and impressionable and she was cool and so LGBT+ friendly that I just started accepting people. And then it turned out I was a lil gay too so things worked out well lol." — plutoforprez

14. 

"I grew up and met some openly gay people." — polkavert

15. 

"I became an atheist. Through a painful experience of getting through serious depression, I came out the other side with a different worldview. As soon as I shed religion I began to question a lot of things including how I really feel about LGBTQIA people vs what I'd been indoctrinated to believe. They are just people trying to go about their normal routine like myself. There's no vast conspiracy or 'gay agenda.'

Years later, I suspect I'm one of them now. I might be asexual but I'm not sure yet." —HonestSummer

16. 

​"As a teen I loved to make fun/bash gay people and listen to heavy metal. Then one day Rob Halford from Judas Priest came out as gay. Well, he is fucking Rob Halford and he can do whatever the fuck he wants. He is Rob Halford and being gay did not make him any less amazing in my eyes. After that I stopped caring about people being gay or not. Who am I to second guess or mock Rob Halford's life choices?" — cambeiu

17.

"I looked for logical reasons to be and couldn't find any." — theyellowmeteor

18. 

"I grew up." — jthomas287

From Your Site Articles
lgbtq
Family

Dad camping with his kids shared the handwritten note left on his car from a fellow camper

More of this, please.

Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."


Windshield Note.
byu/RCampR6 inYosemite

The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

via GIPHY

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

via GIPHY

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
parenting
Pop Culture

Mom of three becomes 'accidental' American Idol contestant after nailing her audition

People are calling Sara Beth a relatable breath of fresh air and the show's new "hidden gem."

American Idol/YouTube

Sara Beth auditioning for "American Idol"

High-level talent competition shows have been around for a long time. And from them, we’ve come to expect spectacular performances from trained artists completely dedicated to their craft. While that’s remarkable to watch, sometimes it’s just as inspiring to witness average folks doing something they love.

Take it from Sara Beth, a mother of three recently dubbed the “Accidental American Idol.”

First of all, Sara Beth is filled to the brim with quirky charm and does nothing to try to hide her nervousness. Judge Katy Perry accurately described her as a “comic strip character brought to life.” In a sea of ultra confident divas it’s refreshing, to say the least.

Second, as a 25-year-old who married and started a family young, Sara Beth admitted that she had been focused on being there for her kids and only recently began pursuing music. Or as she called it, having “a minute for me.”

So when asked if singing was her dream, Sara Beth was hesitant.

“I’m still processing…I can’t even answer. This is so much,” she confessed.

That answer didn’t impress judges Lionel Richie and Katy Perry, but it certainly resonated with views in the crowd and at home—parents in particular.

“As a mother of two young boys I can easily relate to this not being her dream yet,” one mom wrote. “She has spent years pouring into others and taking it day by day and she just recently pulled her head out of water and remembered that she is a person with talents and hobbies and interests outside of being a mom...she doesn't even have the mental capacity for [American Idol] to be a dream yet but she took a huge bet on herself.”

Despite Sara Beth not fitting the usual parameters for an American Idol, there was no denying her incredible voice once she started singing.

Watch:

Sara Beth might have moved forward with only two out of three yes votes, but let’s just say her audience approval rate was pretty damn unanimous.

“Sara Beth is wonderfully herself and a breath of fresh air, judges are faced with a woman who is open with no filters of fear. I think she's amazing.”

“I think she IS the hidden gem in this competition. She could definitely win.”

“I won't be surprised if she wins this whole thing.”

Just take it from the “Accidental American Idol:" It’s okay to be unsure…and go for the thing anyway.

Soon after she shook things up in her American Idol audition, Sara Beth shocked everyone by leaving the show early to be with her children, and also citing discomfort after Katy Perry made a "Mom-Shaming" joke. Luckily for us, her exit from American Idol was not her exit from music. Sara Beth is still active and posting original songs on her TikTok and Instagram, and you can stream her music on Spotify.


https://www.instagram.com/p/DElIB4fT_PI/

This article originally appeared two years ago.

From Your Site Articles
video
Joy

They've been in love since the fifth grade. What better place to propose than where it all began?

It's like a real life rom-com!

Facebook

"It was always you."

We don’t often meet the love of our life in fifth grade. But for Simon Jenkins and Peyton Wynn, romantic destiny struck early.

At the ripe old age of 11 years old, Simon and Peyton met at Johnson Elementary School in Pinson, Alabama, where they sat together in Patti Hathorn’s class. Their relationship continued to grow with each passing year, lasting even after graduation. Ten years later Simon and Peyton both turned 21, and they're still each other’s special someone.

boy and girl in swimsuits A photo of Peyton and Simon, already in love.scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

Fitting, then, that 10 years later, Simon and Peyton would celebrate their enduring love by getting engaged where it all began.

WVTM 13 anchor Rick Karle shared that Simon's mother Traci, “an event planner with a flair for the artistic,” suggested the nostalgic setting for his 2022 proposal. Getting Simon’s approval, she quickly laid out handcrafted signs, flowers and candles, making everything look extra special for the sweet moment.

A couple at their proposal

Who knew a classroom could be so romantic?

scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net

The next part of the surprise would be entirely up to Simon. He told WVTM that the ruse had been getting a call from Traci as the couple made their way to a dinner date in celebration of their 10-year anniversary. She had “forgotten something at her PTA meeting at Johnson Elementary School,” and pleaded for them to go retrieve it. Nice one, mom.

Simon and Peyton made their way to the elementary school and found themselves in the lavish display. “You should have seen Peyton’s face when she walked into that classroom,” Simon told WVTM.

Judging by the photos alone, the proposal seemed to be something out of a Hallmark movie.

Couple get engaged in classroom

Spoiler alert: She said yes

scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

For Peyton, it was the surprise of a lifetime. “I finally got to say yes to the love of my life. It was like something out of a dream,” the bride-to-be told People.

To make the moment that much sweeter, their fifth grade teacher was also there. How’s that for a satisfying full circle moment?

Patti Hathorn (now Patti Armstrong Hagwood) made her own endearing Facebook post, which read:

“For any teacher that is asked or wonders ‘Why we do what we do’. My response is this: We get to watch more than just academic growth in our classrooms. We watch laughter. We watch friendships blossom and grow. We watch as these relationships continue to develop, and often we get to witness them last a lifetime. And, in some instances, we are privileged to be a part of this continuance…It was such an honor to be asked to be present as Simon Jenkins proposed to his 5th grade love. It is another moment that reminds me of my ‘why’ as I continue to love ‘my’ children each year.”

couple celebrating their engagement

I'm not crying, you're crying!

scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

Hagwood continues to teach and welcomed another class that Fall. Coincidentally, that’s when Peyton and Simon will officially tied the knot, according to People.

Congratulations to the happy couple who gave us all a wholesome love story to smile about today. I guess the adage is true: when you know, you know.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

From Your Site Articles
wholesome
Joy

Video of two 90-year-old sisters saying goodbye shoots straight to the heart

“If we don’t see each other again on this earth, we’ll see each other in heaven."

@stephanieatkinson/TikTok

Don't say goodbye.

Viral elderly siblings are reminding us that love transcends all time and distance.

94-year-old Barbara Carolan of Seabrook, Massachusetts, hadn’t been able to see her 90-year-old sister Shirley, who lives in Nevada, since 2020.

When it became clear to Barbara that she might not have much time left to spend with her beloved sister, she prepared to make the 2,700-mile cross country trip to say goodbye.

“They waited so long to see each other, and if you don’t know if you’re going to see someone again, you know, especially siblings, it must be really hard,” Barbara’s granddaughter, Stephanie Atkinson Shively, told told her local news outlet WMUR.

Shively volunteered to ride alongside her grandmother and document the trip. In a viral TikTok video, , we see Barbara and Shirley getting emotional while reminiscing.

“We had a wonderful, wonderful time,” Barbara tells Shirley through tears.

“If we don’t see each other [again] on this earth, we’ll see each other in heaven,” her little sister assured.

“You betcha!” Barbara sobs. “You betcha.”

Watch the video below, aptly captioned: “Hug your sister.”
@stephanieatkinson #goodbye #sistersforever #notgoodbye ♬ original sound - Stephanie Atkinson Shively

Needless to say, viewers were struck by the sweet moment.

“There needs to be a category on this app for videos that are guaranteed to make you cry cuz dammit I’m tired of randomly balling my eyes out!” one person wrote.

Another added, “It’s not good bye, it’s see you later. I imagine when we pass, it’ll be like going home. And never again will we have to be separated from the ones we love.”

Shively shared several other moments from the journey, including some pictures of the sisters when they were younger. But the ‘last tearjerker’ showed grandma Barbara waving goodbye as she made her way back home.

There’s a bit of comic relief in this one, as Barbara yells “Until we meet again!” and gets a loud “WHAT?!” from Shirley, prompting her to repeat herself a bit more forcefully.

Watch:

@stephanieatkinson #sistersforever #notgoodbye #sisterlylove ♬ original sound - Stephanie Atkinson Shively

All in all, just a beautiful, heartwarming reminder to savor our lives, and all the loved ones in it.

Now, (if you have one) go hug your sister. If not, just hug someone you love.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

From Your Site Articles
family
Joy

Slow motion video of jumping baby goats is a great life lesson in disguise

A video we didn't even know we needed…but totally do!

Sunflower Farm Creamery/Youtube

This is almost too cute for words.

Look, you’re busy. You’ve got stuff that needs to be done today. Do you really have time to watch tiny baby goats jump in slow motion? Will that really add anything of value to your life?

Actually, the answer is yes. Because watching tiny baby goats jump in slow motion is not only exceedingly entertaining, it’s actually a simple life lesson in disguise.

These little guys hail from Sunflower Farm Creamery in Maine, where 60 (yes, 60) goats are born each year. Sunflower Farm promises that even if you didn’t love goats before, you will after watching videos from its YouTube channel showing the wee babes run, play, hop and snuggle. I mean, there’s another video showing the goats in pajamas—what’s not to love?

But back to this one. In the video’s description, Sunflower Farm writes, “The amount of effort a baby goat puts into each hop is astounding, and only fully observed by slowing down their motion so you can see every twist and turn clearly. They leap so bravely forward. Even the youngest six, who are one week old, are full of twists and turns and side kicks.”

Yep, in the clip you can definitely see boundless energy and fearlessness in their leaps. Which, let's be honest, might not always result in the most graceful move. And yet when you slow that action down and put on a little Tchaikovsky, it suddenly becomes a riveting ballet nonetheless.

Check it out:

The farm added that the goats aren’t merely hopping around to learn how to avoid predators. They are also simply doing it for the “joy of it.” Play in the animal kingdom is as nuanced as it is for humans, with many experts noting that some species actually don’t engage in play to develop any sort of motor or cognitive skills. They do it, seemingly, just because.

In other words, these goats “leap because they can.” And that’s that.

Folks who watched the video seemed to agree that their spontaneous, unbridled joy was contagious.

“OMG, the sheer joy! I had no real understanding of how random their movement was! That is probably the best thing I've seen in months!” one person comments.

Another added, “These kids are simply experiencing the sheer joy of life bursting out of them. Absolutely wondrous to watch.”

Sure, it’s a silly little goat ballet, but Sunflower Farms argues that humans could learn a thing or two from it.

“Humans could benefit so much by practicing being more nimble, fluid, and joyful. It is so easy to get stuck in our ways, to feel heavy, and weighed down by the world. The goat kids show us that there is another way,” the video description read.

Indeed, life might feel heavy at times. But take it from a group of baby goats: jumping around for no reason at all can be the best pick-me-up. No kidding.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

From Your Site Articles
animals
Trending Stories