Permission to pare down: Having too many toys is actually bad for young kids' development
A good research-backed reminder as we head into the holidays.
The holidays often add more toys to already toy-saturated households.
Childhood is the time for play and imagination, but in the modern era, that's often translated into toys, toys and more toys. There's nothing wrong with toys, of course—humans have been making toys of one kind or another across cultures for millennia. But in our age, endless aisles of consumerism means an overabundance of toy options that can easily overtake the playroom.
It doesn't help that toys have gotten increasingly cheaper over the past 30 years. And with the holidays approaching, families often feel compelled to pile the presents high and deep, leading to an ever-greater accumulation of toys.
If you feel like it's all too much, you're not wrong. And thankfully, there's research to back you up on this.
We all know that kids don't need a ton of toys, but not everyone knows that having too many toys is actually bad for kids. And I don't just mean in a too-many-toys-will-spoil-them kind of way. As child development expert Dan Wuori shared on X, "In a 2018 study, researchers observed two different toddler play settings—one with 16 toys and the other with only 4. What they found was that the children presented with fewer options actually engaged more deeply in play. They stayed focused longer and used the toys available to them in more imaginative ways. Which is just what we want, developmentally."
He also pointed out that the parents participating in the study estimated that their children had, on average, 90 toys at home. That's a whole lot of toys to choose from.
For one, spaces with too many toys can be overstimulating and overwhelming for young children. Have you ever been to an ice cream shop that had dozens of flavors and tried to pick just one? Even adults can find their decision-making skills stymied by having too many choices, so imagine being a small child who is new to everything trying to decide what to play with.
Also, fewer toys helps kids focus and play more deeply, in addition to helping encourage problem-solving skills. If a child gets frustrated with a toy that they can't figure out how to use, they'll be tempted to move on to an easier one if there are tons to choose from. If they are limited by what's available, they're more likely to take the time to figure it out.
The good news is that having a lot of toys doesn't automatically mean your kid is going to be hindered developmentally. There are several ways parents can make a big difference here:
- Establish a regular pattern of purging. Determine how many toys is "enough" toys, and set the expectation that when a new toy comes in, an old one goes out. Keep it positive by donating toys and explaining it as "sharing the toy joy" with other kids.
- Rotate the toys you do have. Keep a few toys out and stash the others away, out of sight and out of reach. When a child seems to have exhausted a toy, replace it with one from the stash. This way children only have access to a few toys at a time so they get the benefit of both a limited number of toys to play with and also the benefit of having a variety of toys to rotate.
- Remember that toys don't need to be fancy or complex. Open-ended toys that can be used for lots of different kinds of play are often popular choices, but kids can make almost anything into a toy. Most parents discover that their toddler is more interested in the box than the toy that came in it—just go with it. Often the fewer toys they have, the more imaginative they will be in making everyday objects into playthings.
- If you're concerned about your kid getting a deluge of toys for Christmas, maybe suggest some alternatives to well-meaning family members that can still be wrapped and unwrapped (which is most of the fun of giving and getting presents). There are practical options that kids actually get into, like a toothbrush set, bath towel, cup or other useful item in their favorite colors or characters. A watch or a sleeping bag or their own set of kitchen tools are also great options. Arts and crafts materials, depending on the age, can be a big hit, too.
A handful of toys is truly all kids need at one time, so give yourself permission to pare down the playroom. It will not only save a lot of mess but it's actually a healthy choice for your child in the long run.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."