
We've all heard nightmarish stories about wedding guests showing up in white, and even mothers-in-law trying to upstage the bride.
Well, romance author Amy Pennza recently shared a wedding horror story that combines the two.
Yes, Pennza's mother-in-law showed up to her wedding in a white dress looking straight from David's Bridal. It has to be seen to be believed, and luckily, Pennza posted receipts:
My mother-in-law wore a wedding dress to my wedding. So, yeah, top that one, Twitter. #weddingfail @jimmyfallon https://t.co/IjqvnXT6Ps— Amy Pennza (@Amy Pennza) 1560960497.0
All of Twitter ground to a halt as people awaited the deets.
@AmyPennza @jimmyfallon Hi Amy, hope you’re having a great day. We’re all interested in hearing the story on how to… https://t.co/WQJIs6j5EB— Audrey Brooks (@Audrey Brooks) 1560974178.0
@libedon @AmyPennza @jimmyfallon Listen, I'm camping on this tweet. I want to hear everything. https://t.co/dOkK9YzXr5— Nollz😃🌻 (@Nollz😃🌻) 1560974857.0
It amassed thousands of retweets as Pennza's adoring public speculated about how this tale could have ended.
@AmyPennza @jimmyfallon AMY! I must know. What did you say to MIL? Did you cuss out your groom? I am really investe… https://t.co/Jg7UFRYGEn— Awesomely Luvvie (@Awesomely Luvvie) 1560980235.0
@AmyPennza @jimmyfallon AMY! I must know. What did you say to MIL? Did you cuss out your groom? I am really investe… https://t.co/Jg7UFRYGEn— Awesomely Luvvie (@Awesomely Luvvie) 1560980235.0
@AmyPennza @JaredKMueller @jimmyfallon Is she still alive? https://t.co/cyiNJk4OxN— amy mccarthy (@amy mccarthy) 1560985107.0
After a bit more begging, Pennza finally returned to Twitter to bless us all with the full story — and it's kind of surprising. Here it is, slightly condensed:
So, a couple people have asked for the story behind The Dress. Sorry for the delay! I have four kids (yes, I married him) on summer break, so my permanent state of being is "frazzled." I called my daughter "mom" the other day.
I didn't know what my mother-in-law planned to wear. I didn't think to ask.
The morning of the wedding, all the women in the bridal party cram into a tiny room in the church. You know, body glitter and hairspray everywhere. Fifteen coats of mascara. Putting napkins under your pits so you don't sweat on your dress.
She walks in. I see it.don't remember much about the day. Most people say their wedding is a blur, and that's true for me, too.
But I know I said this: "You... You could be the bride..."
Later, my sister (matron of honor) said she didn't pull me aside and talk about it because she hoped I was too distracted to notice. My college roommate (bridesmaid) said the same thing.
But secretly, they both spent the reception looking at me, then each other, then MIL, then me, then the cop the venue made us hire—hoping I didn't go for his taser.
I'm happy to report the wedding unfolded without bloodshed, or anyone being shoved into the champagne fountain.
Then the story goes on and you realize Pennza might be the most understanding person alive:
Here's the thing: My mother-in-law is extremely frugal. And I don't mean she just enjoys a good bargain. To understand her, you have to know where she comes from.
She grew up in extreme poverty. As a child, she used to sneak into the kitchen and eat match heads. That's a pica craving, and kids do it when they're malnourished.
When you grow up with nothing, it stays with you. Forever, I think. No matter how much money you earn, there's always that little fear in the back of your mind that someone might take it all away.
But her upbringing didn't make her hard. Or cruel. Or selfish.
However, she's a bargain hunter to the bone. Her money saving strategies are legend—and often hilarious. At family gatherings, we amuse ourselves telling stories of crazy shit she's done to save money.
[...]
So when she spotted The Dress at an incredible bargain, she couldn't turn it down. If you ask her now, she says she feels terrible about it.
Although, she also told me, "I think I've still got it. We should raffle it off."
She's frugal. But she's also incredibly generous. When my twins were newborns, she drove across town every night, slept on the sofa, and did three feedings. For two babies.
Every night for months.She regularly shows up at my house with bags of new clothes for the kids. (Because she's a kick ass bargain hunter.)
When I got my first job, she hemmed all my work pants because I can't sew for shit. And because she was proud of me.
She never misses a band concert, sports event, talent show, science fair...you name it. She'd walk over hot coals for her grandchildren. She gives them everything. Because, you know, she grew up with nothing.
So, yeah, the wedding dress was a shock. But it gave me a pretty funny memory. No one who attended has ever forgotten it. And, you have to admit, weddings can be forgettable.
Sure, she wore a wedding dress to my wedding. But she has more than made up for it since. When I told her about this getting a lot of attention, and said I worried it might hurt her feelings, she waved it off. "Whatever makes me famous."
So Pennza's MIL bought the dress because it was a bargain, and Pennza accepted that. Very nice of her, as many of us might have wondered whether there were any, I don't know, non-bridal dresses on sale somewhere in the world. But sure, okay.
@AmyPennza Oh goddamn... I never thought the long awaited backstory to this photo would have me in tears.— BlackWhiteReadBooks (@BlackWhiteReadBooks) 1560994659.0
Lots of feelings were felt.
@AmyPennza I’m verklempt https://t.co/1usWQ2lvLz— LDMichaelis (@LDMichaelis) 1560996282.0
Pretty much everyone agreed Pennza is a champ for seeing things this way.
@ya_habbibi @AmyPennza Yes! These examples humanized her MIL lovingly, I came here expecting sumn else. I have a fa… https://t.co/BkAdY7X2JS— joy adjacent (@joy adjacent) 1560992939.0
But also just FYI: if this happens to you, it's okay to be furious.
@AmyPennza @iSmashFizzle It's a great ending but I'm still kinda mad tho... https://t.co/kmCXbZfnjB— Lesly (@Lesly) 1560995206.0
This article originally appeared on SomeeCards. You can read it here.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.