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11 emotional, hilarious, and moving photos from the Museum of Broken Relationships.

A new museum in L.A. is helping people process their broken relationships by treating objects with sentimental value like art.

After she broke up with her boyfriend, this woman says she immediately removed her breast implants.

Her boyfriend had convinced her to get them, and she didn't like them much anyway. But she kept those implants in a drawer as a memory, anyway, thinking that someday she'd figure out what to do with them. When she heard about The Museum of Broken Relationships, she knew she'd found the perfect place.

This heart-wrenching confession from an anonymous donor is one of hundreds of objects and stories sent to the Museum of Broken Relationships every month.

The Museum of Broken Relationships opened in June 2016.

It's located on Hollywood Boulevard and Highland Avenue in Los Angeles, and it's a museum where all material remnants of relationships past can go to tell a story.

The concept of this unique museum comes from Croatia. Founder and president John B. Quinn was on a family vacation in April 2015 when he visited the original Museum of Broken Relationships there, and he thought it would be a great fit for the City of Angels.

According to director Alexis Hyde, the relationships represented in the museum could be with yourself, with your best friend, between a father and daughter, or they could even be about broken relationships with the church.

The museum is laid out in a loop: The first objects are icebreakers so people can get acquainted with the museum's theme.

"There’s a cheerleading costume, a wedding dress stuffed in a jar, a box of love letters, so you really start to get a flavor of what you’re about to be getting into," Hyde said.

"After seven years together, five of them married, my husband told me that he felt stuck and that he 'probably' didn't love me anymore." Wedding dress in a jar. Image via Museum of Broken Relationships Los Angeles/Instagram.

As you go deeper into the museum, the actual physical space becomes smaller.

The ceilings start to get lower, and it becomes a bit more private as heavier subject matters start to show up. That's where you see items dealing with major loss or remnants of long-term relationships gone wrong.

Then, as you loop back around toward the exit, the objects once again become lighthearted.

Hyde said she often watches visitors discuss their relationships with amusement, maturity, respect, and fondness as they walk through the museum.

Hyde said the way people respond to the museum is pretty close to how they respond to broken relationships.

"Everyone responds differently, so we really do get like a whole rainbow of reactions, that's really beautiful," she said.

While some people openly cry right away, others sort of brush off the fact that they're a little uncomfortable by acting silly. And, of course, there are the couples who start making out not long after coming into the exhibit.

As for the most interesting donations they've received, Hyde said they're all pretty wild.

The museum has received over 300 donations so far from all over the country. But Hyde's favorite story is the one behind the breast implants, mentioned earlier.

She said the woman first approached the museum about donating the implants that her ex-boyfriend had convinced her to get. She had to have two reconstructive surgeries to get them right before they broke up and she took the implants out. So they already carried a lot of baggage (literally). He also made her pay him back for them.

The woman wanted to get rid of the implants to remind herself, and others, that no one should dictate her worth or how she should feel about the way she looks. After a long talk with the woman, Hyde said she received a biohazard bag in the mail with the implants inside.

As for why people donate items that have such emotional significance to them personally?

Hyde thinks there are several reasons: There's good old fashioned closure, of course. And it's also a type of catharsis, of letting go of repressed feelings that may still be hurting you.

People come to the museum for similar reasons. They want to feel connected, and they want to find stories that are similar to their own to remind them that they're not alone.

"It's nice for people to honor their relationship or to have a place to put something that isn't the trash or eBay," Hyde said. "It's a way of saying, 'This may be over, but it mattered.'"

This wacky museum reminds us that not every broken relationship is bad.

It's almost impossible to go through life unscathed, without a single broken relationship. But while they were tough, broken relationships are also proof that we were alive and a part of something, and that's why this museum exists.

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Mom explains the common Boomer parenting style that still affects many adults today

Many are relieved to finally have a term for this experience.

Photo by Monstera Production

“What they want is dishonest harmony rather than honest conflict.”

There are certainly many things the Boomer parents generally did right when raising their kids. Teaching them the importance of manners and respect. That actions do, in fact, have consequences. That a little manners go a long way…all of these things are truly good values to instill in kids.

But—and we are speaking in broad strokes here—being able to openly discuss difficult feelings was not one of the skills passed down by this generation. And many Gen X and millennial kids can sadly attest to this.

This is why the term “dishonest harmony” is giving many folks of this age group some relief. They finally have a term to describe the lack of emotional validation they needed throughout childhood for the sake of saving face.

In a video posted to TikTok, a woman named Angela Baker begins by saying, “Fellow Gen X and millennials, let's talk about our parents and their need for dishonest harmony.”

Barker, who thankfully did not experience this phenomenon growing up, but says her husband “certainly” did, shared that when she’s tried to discuss this topic, the typical response she’d get from Boomers would be to “Stop talking about it. We don't need to hear about it. Move on. Be quiet.”

And it’s this attitude that’s at the core of dishonest harmony.

“What that’s showing is their lack of ability to handle the distress that they feel when we talk openly about uncomfortable things,” she says. “What they want is dishonest harmony rather than honest conflict.”


@parkrosepermaculture Replying to @Joe Namath #boomerparents #toxicparent #harmony #genx #millennial #badparenting #conflict #nocontact ♬ original sound - Parkrose Permaculture


“Keep quiet about these hard issues. Suppress your pain, suppress your trauma. Definitely don't talk openly about it so that you can learn to heal and break the cycle,” she continues. “What matters most is that we have the appearance of harmony, even if there's nothing harmonious under the surface.”

Barker concludes by theorizing that it was this need to promote a certain facade that created most of the toxic parenting choices of that time period.

“The desire of boomer parents to have this perception that everything was sweet and hunky dory, rather than prioritizing the needs of their kids, is what drove a lot of the toxic parenting we experienced.”

Barker’s video made others feel so seen, as clearly indicated by the comments.

“How did I not hear about dishonest harmony until now? This describes my family dynamic to a T. And if you disrespect that illusion, you are automatically labeled as the problem. It’s frustrating,” one person wrote.

“THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm a 49 yo biker sitting in my bedroom crying right now. You just put a name to my darkness!” added another

Many shared how they were refusing to repeat the cycle.

One wrote, “This is EXACTLY my family dynamic. I’m the problem because I won’t remain quiet. Not anymore. Not again.”

“I love when my kids tell me what I did wrong. It gives me a chance to acknowledge and apologize. Everyone wants to be heard,” said another.

Of course, no parenting style is perfect. And all parents are working with the current ideals of the time, their own inner programming and their inherent need to course correct child raising problems of the previous generation. Gen Alpha parents will probably cringe at certain parenting styles currently considered in vogue. It’s all part of the process.

But hopefully one thing we have learned as a collective is that true change happens when we summon the courage to have difficult conversations.


This article originally appeared on 7.16.24

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Modern Families

Research shows the more expensive your wedding, the lower the chances of living 'happily ever after'

Couples who save together, stay together.

via PixaBay

"I now pronounce you, in debt. You may kiss the bride."

In 1964, Paul McCartney of the Beatles famously sang, “I don’t care too much for money, money can’t buy me love.” While Mr. McCartney’s sentiments were definitely a major foreshadowing of the hippie, free-love movement that was to come in the ‘60s, it appears as though he was also onto a big truth that wouldn’t be proven for another 50 years.

10 years ago, researchers Hugo M. Mialon and Andrew Francis-Tan from Emory University embarked on the first study to determine whether spending a lot on a wedding or engagement ring meant a marriage would succeed or fail.

The pair wanted to see if the wedding industry was being honest when it came to claims that the more money a couple spends, the more likely they are to stay together.

“The wedding industry has consistently sought to link wedding spending with long-lasting marriages. This paper is the first to examine this relationship statistically,” the researchers wrote.

The researchers carried out online surveys with more than 3,000 ever-married people living in the United States.

After reviewing the answers to the questionnaire the researchers learned that spending big bucks on a wedding and engagement ring made a couple more likely to get divorced. The researchers determined that "marriage duration is inversely associated with spending on the engagement ring and wedding ceremony."

Conversely, they found that "relatively low spending on the wedding is positively associated with duration among male and female respondents."

The researchers also found that the number of people who attend the wedding matters, too. The questionnaire revealed that “high wedding attendance and having a honeymoon (regardless of how much it cost) are generally positively associated with marriage duration."

The researchers haven’t studied why people who splurge on weddings and rings have a greater chance of having to hire divorce lawyers, but they have a few theories.

“It could be that the type of couples who have a … (cheap wedding) are the type that are a perfect match for each other,” Mialon told CNN. “Or it could be that having an inexpensive wedding relieves young couples of financial burdens that may strain their marriage,” he added.

Francis-Tan believes that people who have weddings with a large number of attendees are more successful because they have a lot of support.

“This could be evidence of a community effect, i.e., having more support from friends and family may help the couple to get through the challenges of marriage,” Francis-Tan said. “Or this could be that the type of couples who have a lot of friends and family are also the type that tend not to divorce as much.”

Could it also be that people who put a big emphasis on a flashy wedding and jewelry tend to bit a bit more materialistic? It makes sense that couples that are really into keeping up appearances may not have their properties straight when it comes to building a loving relationship.

To finish things off with another pop music analogy, “If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it,” (just make sure it’s an inexpensive one, in front of a lot of people, in your backyard).

This article originally appeared on 12.7.21

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Education

Salesman shares the 2 phrases that will make salespeople leave you alone when shopping

"I'm just looking," doesn't work.

via Antoni Shkraba/Pexels

A salesman selling a car to a skeptical woman.

It can be intimidating to be approached by a salesperson when making a big purchase, such as a car or an appliance. They can swoop in like sharks, seeing blood in the water and some refuse to leave you alone, even if you say, “I’m just looking.”

TikTok's @RussFlipsWhips is a car salesman who went viral with a video explaining why “I’m just looking” doesn’t work on a car lot and providing more effective phrases you can use instead.

"There's two main reasons, and here's what you should say instead of 'I'm just looking,'" he said in a video with over 345,000 views. “One is, we hear it every single day. So when somebody tells me, ‘I’m just looking,’ I’m so used to hearing that, I almost like brush it off and ignore it because I’m like, ‘That’s what the customer’s supposed to say.’ “Secondly, every car salesman has had a customer say, ‘I’m just looking,’ and we ended up selling them a car."


Instead, Russell suggests you say: "Hey, I’d really like to look alone. Can I please have your business card?" or “I’m really not in the market for a car.”


@russflipswhips

Replying to @SoyPablo This is what I would say #carsales #carsalesman #cardealership #carbuyingtips

The post received funny responses from folks who may not qualify for a loan. “The ‘I have 2 repos and no money down' line works wonders,’” one TikToker joked. “I just tell them my credit score and they run,” another added.

In the end, Russell’s suggestions show that sometimes, the best way to get our point across is to be direct and honest. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to shop alone and if the salesperson can respect that request, they deserve the sale if you decide to buy something.


This article originally appeared on 7.16.24

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Education

Teacher of the year explains why he's leaving district in unforgettable 3-minute speech

"I'm leaving in hopes that I can regain the ability to do the job that I love."

Lee Allen

For all of our disagreements in modern American life, there are at least a few things most of us can agree on. One of those is the need for reform in public education. We don't all agree on the solutions but many of the challenges are undeniable: retaining great teachers, reducing classroom size and updating the focus of student curriculums to reflect the ever-changing needs of a globalized workforce.

And while parents, politicians and activists debate those remedies, one voice is all-too-often ignored: that of teachers themselves.

This is why a short video testimony from a teacher in the Atlanta suburb of Gwinnett County went viral. After all, it's hard to deny the points made by someone who was just named teacher of the year and used the occasion to announce why he will be leaving the very school district that just honored him with that distinction.

In a video carried by Fox5 Atlanta, 2022 Gwinnett County Public Schools Teacher of the Year Lee Allen breaks down what he sees as the overriding problems in the county's school system. While his comments are specific to that of Gwinnett County, it's virtually impossible to not see the overlap across all of America and how the problems have become exponentially more challenging as students have migrated back to in-person learning.

"At the end of this year, I will be leaving Gwinnett County Schools, leaving behind the opportunity to submit for state teacher of the year, roughly $10,000 in salary, and most importantly, the students and colleagues I've built strong relationships with," Allen, a math teacher at Lawrenceville's Archer High School, says at the beginning of his remarks. "I'm leaving in hopes that I can regain the ability to do the job that I love."

Normally, one might assume teacher pay is the overriding issue for educators like Allen. But he makes it clear that he is, in fact, leaving money on the table to avoid what he deems as unacceptable changes to the student body and how the district manages its teachers and the learning environment. Here are his main grievances, in order:

  • "First issue at hand is student apathy and disrespect for school rules and norms. … We have an alarming number of students that simply do not care about learning and refuse to even try."
  • "We are also experiencing incredible disrespect and refusal to follow basic school rules. There is little to no accountability or expectation for grades or behavior placed on students or parents. Rather than being asked what the student can do to improve their understanding, teachers are expected to somehow do more with less student effort."
  • Cell phone use. Teachers simply cannot compete with the billions of dollars tech companies pour into addicting people to their devices. Phones allow constant communication, often being the spark that fuels fights, drug use and other inappropriate meetups throughout the day. We need a comprehensive district plan with support behind it in order to combat this epidemic and protect the learning environment."
  • "Lastly, there is a huge disconnect between administrators and teachers. The classroom in 2022 is drastically different from just three years ago. Most administrators have not been in a classroom full-time in years or even decades. Many teachers do not feel understood, valued or trusted as professionals from administrators and the decisions that they make."

While Allen points fingers at administrators and student behavior, he also says that the pressures put on both students and teachers alike by COVID-19 had a catastrophic impact on learning. "The pandemic has acted as a catalyst and turned a slow negative trend into an exponential crisis," he says.

But he also offers some solutions, stating, "I won't list complaints without offering ideas for improvement."

  • All administrators should spend at least one week in a high needs classroom, "without a suit, without people knowing your title and in the same room, all day, for an entire week."
  • Prioritizing smaller class sizes.
  • Greater transparency from the district in terms of needs and expectations and goals.

"We all want the same thing and we cannot accomplish this without supporting one another," he says near the end of his remarks.

With more than 400,000 views already, it's clear his remarks resonated with people not just inside his school district.

There's almost nothing more important than how we educate our children. And while the national political debate centers on areas of far less importance generated to gin up controversy and campaign fundraising, it's families and local leaders who will need to do the heavy lifting of reprioritizing the fundamental principles of learning and leadership if we want an American educational system that can compete on the global stage in 2022 and beyond. After all, when literal award-winning educators like Allen are walking away, it's clear something more needs to be done.


This article originally appeared on 6.28.22

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School shooting survivor delivers heartbreaking performance on 'America's Got Talent'

She honored her community in a big way.

YouTube

A beautiful tribute to those taken too soon.

Sometimes the best part about watching “America’s Got Talent” isn’t seeing extraordinary performances—it’s witnessing extraordinary courage.

In 2022, 18-year-old Ava Swiss displayed both talent and courage with her breathtaking rendition of “Remember” by Lauren Daigle. Swiss’ vocal chops and stage presence were certainly enough to make a lasting impression. But the reason behind her song choice made it all the more impactful.

“I chose this song because back on November 30, my brother and I were a part of the Oxford school shooting,” Swiss told judge Simon Cowell. “We lost four of our students, and seven others were injured, one of which was a teacher.”

In an exclusive interview with People, Swiss shared that she had been close friends with 17-year-old Justin Shilling, one of the four students killed. The trauma of such loss and surviving a harrowing (though sadly, not unimaginable) experience made the thought of going back to school seem impossible.

“It’s been hard. I remember my brother and I, we were talking to each other, and we said, ‘There’s no way we’re ever stepping foot back in the school,’” she told the judges.

The high school senior’s audition had been filmed prior to the recent series of public shootings across America. It’s heartbreaking that these tragedies have become so common, no question.

But as Swiss demonstrates, resilience can be immensely healing. Swiss added that she and her brother had been back at school for about two months … all before singing so powerfully she was met with a standing ovation.

Mandel told her. “The fact that you can break through that, and shine the way you did today, is so inspirational for every human being.”

This was, of course, before receiving a unanimous “yes” to move onto the next round of the competition.

If the resounding praise from all four judges wasn’t enough, fellow students of Oxford High sent a flood of loving comments to the video posted on YouTube as well. One student wrote:

“Hi another student from Oxford high school, this performance will stay on repeat in my head for years to come. It was extraordinary and so beautiful it gave me chills down to the bone. This was something I didn’t know I needed, it made me cry a lot but also gave me a lot of strength. I’m so proud of our community and of Ava for sharing her voice with us and the world and making our healing process a little less rough. Stay strong Oxford.”

It’s not easy to get up on stage and bare your soul, especially after trauma. Swiss’ performance was a big win before she hit a single note.


This article originally appeared on 7.29.22

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