An adoption day to remember.
As Dontez Williams, 33, was preparing to marry his fiancée, Myshella Burton, 26, last August he knew he was committing to more than just one woman. He was also committing to be a permanent presence in the lives of her two daughters, Abigail, 9, and Natalie, 8.
In the days before the wedding, he wondered how he could use the occasion to solidify the bonds with his two stepdaughters-to-be. He began wondering what he'd say if he wrote vows to them as well as his fiancée and became so overwhelmed by emotion that he knew he had to do it at the wedding.
"When I felt that emotion just thinking about it, I was like, 'I got to do this. This is the right decision. There's no ifs, ands or buts about it,'" he said according to Yahoo.
His soul-searching also led him to realize that he was "the only father-figure they had ever really had," so he should adopt the girls as well.
By adopting the two girls, Williams chose to become their parent in every way possible. A stepparent only has rights as long as they are married to the child's biological parent, but by adopting, Williams had full parental rights for their entire lives. The children can inherit from him and in the event of a divorce, he could seek full custody.
"Although they are not biologically mine, blood could not make us any closer. I wanted to make it official in becoming their dad as I wrote vows not only to my wife but to my daughters as well asking them if I could adopt them," Williams wrote on Instagram.
After exchanging vows with Burton at the altar, he moved his attention to Abigail and Natalie. An emotional video of the proposal went viral on Instagram.
"I never knew you really do become a man when you have children," Williams said. "Having someone to teach, protect, provide for them, discipline them, learn from them and support them. For all of these reasons, you've helped me become a better person."
"I know that I'm a father figure to you both," Williams said before dropping down on one knee. "But I'm going to make it official and ask can I adopt you?" he said with his voice choked up with tears. The auditorium erupted into big applause and the two girls dropped down and gave Williams huge hugs.
Williams' new wife was taken by the beautiful gesture.
"Myshella was really shocked, but she was happy and just thankful for me stepping up," Williams told Fox News. "She was really happy that I feel that way for them and said she's grateful to have me in their lives."
Williams' beautiful act shows what true commitment looks like. He didn't just marry a woman and vow to take care of her "til death do us part," he made the same pledge to their children by becoming more than just a stepdad, but their father for life.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.